Becoming X (formerly known as Twitter) users with: Juniper @canteverdie

We're from Gwenette County. Of course, our teacher is the hot man.

We're from Gwennette County. Of course we're a dictadopia. We're from Grunette County.

Of course, we got prescribed methadone in tenth grade.

We live, we're from we're from We're from Gwennette County. Of course we're abusing our prescription. Adderall. We're from Gruennett County.

You said your mom's still in the hospital road, Can I come over? Oh my god, Okay, we're from Gruenett County. Where's the medicine cabinet?

Hello, beauty translated listeners and anyone anyone from Gwenette County. Hello, shout out to the Gwenett County listeners. Where they just shot a dude for shoplifting.

Yes, I saw that. I saw that on the heat at work. Yeah, they went on a they chased him. I'm like, what did he steal?

What did you steal? Yeah? No, it's awesome like that.

Every time, like I see like a story from Gwinnette County, it's it's always like it's always like teenager arrested for throwing puppies in a river, or like yeah, or like Gwinnette County PD shoots man sixty seven times for.

Literally, right a pack of gum or something.

Yeah, yeah, for like shoplifting from a pack sun that's closing, that's like, yeah, no, it's it's awesome.

Is your favorite place, baby?

I think I think it should make a lot of sense that we come from there, you know, it should.

You know, it should also make a lot of sense to people that I didn't finish high school. Yeah, because you know, this is where people come to listen to irreverent, funny, sexy, flooding hot bitches with cool opinions that make cool opinions. They might not be correct, Yeah, they might not be correct opinions.

They might not have any basis in fact or reality or reality, but they're cool opinions. They're cool opinions. Yeah. So, welcome to another episode of Beauty Translated.

Y'all so excited. Well, I'll be honest, Janie and I haven't recorded this episode yet, so I don't actually know what's in store for us yet.

But we're excited. But we're excited. We're excited. We're kind of having a weird day. We're kind of doing stuff out of like chronological we're having another Slaughterhouse five days, another Slaughterhouse five it's.

Very slaughterhouse five vibes. It's giving slaughder house. Yeah. Well, Jane, do you want to talk a little bit about who we've o the pod today?

Yeah, a friend of the show, friends of many shows in fact, and host of her own show, Western Kabuki Period where they discuss you know, culture politics, you know, basically kind of kabuki theater. Yeah, a lot of a lot of what we like and what were a lot of it touches on a lot of our personal predilections as well, and so yeah, we're very pleased to have Juniper join us, you know, putting person beer person at

But that's, you know, that's what hot girls do.

We persevere, we slay, and we are going to have a beautiful, wonderful conversation about the irreverency of you know, the modern state of the Internet, which at one point was normal and now is filled with people like me and Carmen and Juniper.

So and I understand, Janie, this is our Twitter episode.

This is the one the fans have been waiting for. This is this is the Twitter episode. We're going to dive into the psychology of tweeters, the ones that tweet, the ones that read, the ones that lurk, the ones that get verified, the ones that don't. And the man behind the curtain that owns it all, who's sort of a modern day Baron Harkonen from the un and his name escapes me now, but I'm sure we'll get into all that in our Twitter episode with Juniper.

So, without further ado, here we go with Jennifer. Baby, why don't we introduce our guests, Janie, we have to date with us, one of your friends, take it away.

Yeah, another another friend of the show, another fellow podcaster, Jennifer from Western Kabuki.

Thank you, thank you.

I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for inviting me. Yes, this is such a joy.

I liked how you asked me before I recorded on your show, how would you like to be introduced? And I meant to do that for you. Yeah, So I guess I can't do that now. No, I guess you got to go for it.

That's perfect. No, you did it perfectly. No, I like I liked your reaction on ours. What did Caleb say, like, oh, like a ship poster and you were like no, you were like repulsed. You were like repulsed by that was it was so good funny.

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, like I don't take it as like an insult. I do kind of like I don't know, like I've definitely like used Twitter and TikTok and like all these things to like kind of build a platform. But yeah, I like, I like being funny, and I like shit posting us here like I do, but I like ruffling people's feathers and YadA YadA.

But I do kind of see this.

All just like as a means to an end, to get people like aware of like my art, the things that I actually care. The thing is like I spend like thousands of hours like making music, performing stuff like that, and I spend like literally zero point two seconds thinking of trip. So you know, it's just like to be called a shit poster. I'm like, I mean, I guess it's accurate, but.

No, I totally I absolutely know where you're coming from there. Yeah, there was there's just like because we've had that reaction before too, and it's like, yeah, I know, like so many people that we try to have on do like all sorts of like art and like I love like the thing that I love about Twitter, specifically transwitters, like or I'm doing air quotes with trans Twitter because that's

You know, I'm just I'm happy to be talentless and connected, you know, talentless and well connected. There's a real job I do, like you do, produce. I actually wanted to say, like, when you guys are listening to this on Wednesday, this episode comes out, I will be on a film set. I signed up to be the production assistant. And I looked at the call sheet just now and I told them in some meetings that I like have some audio experience and I know, like a little bit about audio

Yeah no, you're gonna kill it. Just pretend like you know what you're doing.

Turn around and like google everything really quick, like you. Yeah, sound is pretty. I mean, can you hear hello? How hard can it be? Sorry? So uh yeah, I guess let's let's let's try. Let's try to focus on a little bit I have I wanted to say about ship posting. I've wanted to have an episode about ship posting for a while. So I'm happy you're here. I know that that is not all in an all encompassing term as to describe who you are, but I'm personally I love

Yeah, no, no, posting. Posting is an art form like that. It is an art form.

Yeah it's not. It's not really a real work.

A valuable art form in the like well in the sense that like I think hear me out, I think that like a really good movie or a really good like song or album can like change your perspective on things, or really good book you know, Like that's art that I think, like really like you know, can genuinely make a difference. Like you know, people will roll their eyes if someone's like, yeah, dude, that that three eleven album in my.

Life, but like you know, for someone it did, yeah, you know, and that.

Is that is something I don't think posting uh is like you know, having the same kind of impact.

It's had like a different okay, but hear me out, it's it has a different impact. I've been thinking about Putin has opened the world's the oldest vault, like that phrase.

Like I am like so blad all right.

Like like it's a it's a it's it's a different kind of art because like it's it's not that it changes your life, but it just rewires your brain in like a terminally unwell way, you know.

Yes, yeah, I'm so glad. I want to start here because yeah, this is our Twitter episode.

We want.

I want to talk about Twitter. I want to talk about the characters, the side plots, and.

Just so I don't have a Twitter. So I am like going and blind here.

Yes, we're going to be introducing a lot of not biblical terms, and there is a legendary, a legendary Twitter person, very beloved and uh we love you too. You're very early follow for me when I first made my account.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, Yeah, No, you're a you're a old homie, You're you're an old one.

Yeah. Yeah. I said the same thing to Vera Drew too.

I was like, yeah, like you've I've always been one of your shooters and she was like, I've never heard.

She was like, that's so funny because I said, like, I just said that same phrase like oh this this person has shooters to someone in real life recently and they're like, wait, what are you talking about?

Like it's so I love.

I love using that like type of for people who are just yeah, like they're like normal, they don't have these brainworms.

Well it's also it's also kind of like a wrap like yeah, that's that's true. That's true, which.

Is funny because I mean a lot of like kind of like Twitter Lingo's just stuff that's like either downstream from like you know, like black art or down downstream from like queer arts.

For sure.

Yeah, it's a lot of things in general though, But yeah, you know what, I'm so glad you because I have a series of notes here, had a series of like people that I wanted to touch on and concepts, characters, things, and yeah, one of the first ones to be and probably the most recent one, which is actually kind of a fallout of TikTok from what I'm I'm understood, Juniper, do you want to go ahead and tell us about the world's oldest.

Yeah, so, okay, a TikTok user, this is this is just what I understand. I'm not a TikTok user, but I just saw this post where this person says that Putin has opened the oldest Vault and revealed biblical old biblical images of like historical figures, like you know, like like all the like the Disciples of Christ, Jesus, and they're all like these images that were in the Oldest Vault were all they were all black, which like, okay, on its face, they probably like they of course were

I also the same way, the same there's a very similar phrase. A very recent thing that had a similar effect on me was the Kamala Harris I think you just fell out of the coconut tree where literally, like I remember that day, I was like hungover and I was at work and I was like walking away from tables because I kept thinking like, oh, you.

Haven't she taken a couple of times.

Now you would think that because that's the way it lives inside your brain.

But no, that was one clip.

Then then all day, like every I just wanted to repurpose that phrase in everything.

Yeah, that was like because like it was that day when when like that that same period when the and it's gone around before. But her weird version of singing the Wheels on the Bush so like she goes like for free people who don't know like I, So okay for context, I still like listening to her version of the Wheels on the Bus has destroyed my previous understanding of that song. I still don't remember how it's supposed

It is so funny to like use that and get the melody and then give the entire world.

This like incorrect Mandela.

She has permanently rewired how I understand that song. I don't know the normal way.

I really don't snack that memory.

Yeah, so this is interesting because you are you are kind of convincing me of your points a little bit that maybe I'm still maybe not convinced this useful art, But there kind of is something artistic to being able to like implant like inception things in people's brains that they just like I can't fucking get out. Like Yeah, all day I was thinking about like oldest What the fuck the oldest fault faults are?

How do you quantify qualify? How do you qualify which vault is the oldest? You?

Where are all the fault are they all? Wat? I just don't understand where he comes in.

He they cut the vault in half and to see how old the fault was.

Yeah, it's just the oldest vault so is that like older than the Pyramids, like I would have to assume.

So right, yeah, it's the oldest vault because our vaults have a fault and that have been open. This is the oldest of wide open.

The vault. Fuck. Oh now that's gonna be in my brain forever. So there there.

There's another one that I've written down here, and Carmen, I'm curious if you're familiar with this phrase, but this is one that's like through my brain a lot. Have you heard the phrase Charlie Brown had hose? I want to clarify for audiences, we did not pre record this. This is just me and Juniper's mind melded right now.

Yeah, yeah, do you care to explain Charlie Brown head hose.

So, So, from my understanding of this one, this one is basically the principle behind this one is how any social media, but especially Twitter, I feel like and maybe TikTok, people will just like say whatever, They'll just say bullshit, just make shit up. So somebody posted Charlie Brown has hose, and someone yeah yeah, and someone quotes sweet it's saying like you guys just make up anything or something like that. Like someone was like you guys just say any bullshit.

Some of this kind of like trickles down. I feel like into my little realm of Instagram because I feel like I do see some things like me when I lie or like I feel like that has had to come from Twitter.

H I mean so much of Instagram, Like there's so many like meme pages on Instagram that are just screenshotting tweets, And I mean, this is another funny thing, Juniper.

I'm very curious if you've experienced this.

Yeah, Like, has anyone ever like sent you something from like another social media up and you've been like, oh, I hate that person.

They've blocked me.

You know, It's like I don't know how even like it's it feels like crazy, like knowing the lore behind an account of that is just posting like the dumbest thing ever.

Yeah.

Yeah, It's like either that or it's like, oh, that's my mutual like they're home.

Oh yeah, that's my that's two films, two film cell too Furious.

No, I've I've sadly, I hate to admit it, but I have sadly experienced both of those a lot of a lot of the time.

Yeah, like over the years.

Yeah but no, that's like part of why I eventually came to Twitter in the first place is because I used to be and this is very shameful to admit, I used to be like a Facebook politics poster, like back in the in like twenty fifteen, like in the Bernie twenty sixteen, I would like post on Facebook.

Yeah, and like I wasn't in communities. I would just like.

Annoy my friends and family and like acquaintances, and they hated it.

I was so annoying. I was probably not person fifteen, but like a training extra annoying and like it's like, oh here comes that trainy posting her Bernie sandersh it again, you know. Yeah, yeah.

That that reminds me of another very niche brain worm that I've I've had in my head for a long time. That's like every Thanksgiving usually around that time, I see this tweet. But someone tweeted something like, this is the year I finally convinced my granddad to vote for Bernie Sanders. This year I finally convinced him about socially its final.

This is how Bernie will still win.

This is how going to win that time.

Actually, yeah, here's here's how Bernie. Here's how Warren. And that's how I feel about people.

Okay, sorry to get okay, here's how my stroke is still second.

People are gonna get mad. That's how I feel. When people are talking about Joe Biden winning this election. I'm like, baby's scrapped. Okay, okay, like he's done, Like, yeah, I do. I do.

Just love how this election is the same as the last election, but they're just older and worse, like both.

Don't die by October.

Yeah no, yeah, I feel like there's gotta be this, like like there's probably so many people that like voted for the first time and might have like in another world like have been like politically engaged from that, but now it's like we already did this and you didn't. I already fucking voted for Joe Biden. I'll have to do it again.

This is going to be a horrible election for people who have dementia. They're gonna be like wait, like wait, I already voted. I voted already.

I don't get any shot. Yeah. No, people will literally stuck in like twenty.

Twenty, like, yeah, I can relate on the Facebook thing I used to I actually still am like is set as a moderator on a Bernie campaign thing that someone like from my hometown like invited me to.

That's amazing.

I stopped using it because I was posting a bunch of memes like just like shit posting this like literally yeah, and because my friend would post the more political stuff, I would post the more kind of funny stuff to get like shared around do like agi prop that way, And.

I shared a meme.

I shared the meme that was like fuck Joe Biden, all my homies hate Joe Biden. And a bunch of people like found that post and accused me of being a Russian wow, because they were like, no one would use the term homie any war.

What No, No, I've said it twice this episode already. Unless maybe I'm Russian as well. I guess maybe I'm a Russian.

Yeah, honestly, any members of the homie collective exactly.

I was going to say, you had the homie on like you had the Home.

Yeah. Yeah, he's the homie. Absolutely, he's the.

Home Marcos Russian. No, No, I don't I think he's I think he's Hispanic. Yeah, I think he's Hispanic. I think he's Latino.

He could be the first Mexican Russian.

He's kind of Greek coded, like kind of how Stavros like, he's kind of Stavros a little bit, dude.

Yeah, okay, my brain with something.

Yeah, I wanted I wanted to ask you a little like, so, like when did you like joined what?

Oh? Yeah, so I after the twenty sixteen election, I kind of stopped using Facebook for politics, and then I even worse, even worse, Oh my god, no, even worse.

Read it.

I was on it. I was.

I was on Reddit from like twenty seventeen to twenty nineteen, and I was mostly like in the politics read it and I was on the Chapel trap House subreddit. And then after the Chapel trap House reddit, Yeah, I got suspended. I was like, you know what, half the posts I consumed were just screenshots of Twitter. I'm going to go to Twitter, which is where I'm still to this day,

Wow, yeah it is.

And that's what I was saying, Like all the ship on Instagram, like all the meme pages, like all of it is just downstream from like weird fucking transaction and even post Baron Harkin and taking over you know, we're all still there.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's kind of fascinating to me because we all went through this phase of like, oh this is it this everyone in Twitter, and I have to Juniper, are you on Blue Sky?

I am. I don't like super actively use it.

I like maybe log on like once a day to make a single post and that's like about it. Yeah, that's like the only thing I do with it.

If y'all think I should post on Twitter, Like Blue Sky literally is the place that I just like say, like literally, whatever, I'm embarrassed.

I made a thread in like the first like like we all did. Don't worry. We all did. Don't worry. We had.

We had hopes for like a day I could do that, and then I I found out that it didn't have the juice because I made a post on Threads that was like I am in the Arby's bathroom doing hard drugs and I got suspended. So I was like, oh, if I can't, if you can't post about doing hard drugs in an Arby's, it's over.

It's over.

Wow, Oh my god, that's it's literally, yeah.

That is you know that's crazy, And yeah, I'll be honest, Carmen.

Until you said that, I forgot. Yeah, yeah, like I said, get. The only reason I haven't forgot about it is because when you go on Instagram, they're like, see what's happening on threads and it's like the most crazy zionis like transphobic you ever seen in your life. Yes, I'm like, no, they're like baiting me to like click to read more. No, yes, they know what they're doing.

They're literally like they're trying to rage bait you rage bab They'll show you like an insane thing so that you'll want to like real solve threads so you can yell at this person. I'll be honest, It's it is sometimes almost worked on me, Like I am bat Petties.

Rage is a powerful, like in raging people powerful and I really.

Like the social media people have like figured that out. The social media powers you have fed out and they are like, yeah, where are just little rage gerbils and a hamster will Well hamster. And that's why you have to like resist that urge.

That's like, that's why I like mostly try to just hang out, make jokes fun. The my, my principle to social media is just to hang out.

You just hang out a good time, have a good time. Yeah, cracks and joke. You're the world on there. You're not changing limes, You're not.

I learned that when Bernie lost twice. I was like, oh, this ship, this ship. We can't do it on Twitter. You can, we cannot do it here.

You're like, but I memed, so yeah, that's part of the reason why I was like, like I I've heard people say, like I've literally heard people in real life say like, yeah, like Trump memed his way into the election into the president.

No, no, no, no, no, there was no me magic meme. Magic is not real. Shut up.

Yeah, yeah, well Trump is another good kind of launching off point to like Twitter characters.

Oh my god, there's so many.

And Trump was one of the He's back then, I legitimate, I legitimately think there's an argument to be made. And I just want to clarify for our listeners who might be confused. I am not saying this as an endorsement of Trump or his politics.

I think he's bad. I think he should be pulled apart by hounds, and that would be it would be amazing.

But there's a legitimate argument that Trump is like the best poster of share. I'm sorry, serious, Share is my favorite poster.

No, you come on, No, you haven't.

Seen some of Trump's tweets. If you if you think that there's some there's some heat. Oh my god, Trump has some heat.

Is he like still up to it? He's not tweeting though.

Yeah, he posted his Mudge mugshot and he kind of dipped again, Like what's what? Like, what are some of the iconic ones that he's he's had the diet coke one. I know it's pretty iconic.

I'm googling right now. I don't know how good these are gonna be.

Yeah, the salad's good. The taco salad person, Yeah, No, you're right.

One of his mast treats is, I have never seen a thin person drinking diet coke.

That is so gay. That is a caddy that's like caddy boy.

Yeah, this is another good one. Barney Frank looked disgusting nipples, nipples protruding and his blue shirt before Congress, very very disrespectful. Say he is a sassy game. He said, yeah, oh, this is another fucking golden one.

One of it.

I think maybe his magnifoldus best line in the Elizabeth Warren Beer catastrophe is to her husband, shit, sorry, okay, thank you for being here. I'm glad you're here. That's the end of the quote, and then he continues, it's their house. He's supposed to be there. He's supposed to be there.

Why would you did he there?

He has a point, I've got I've got one right here that I do really like a lot. Robert Pattinson should not take back christ She cheated on.

Him like a dog and will do it again. Just watch. He can do much better.

And not only is there that one, but he's tweeted about that specific relationship like over ten times, if I remember correctly, Like he was really invested in Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's relationship at the time.

I think Robert Pattinson or something.

I have a Cora posts in front of me with all of his like Robert Pattinson. It really is so paggy, Like this is like straight up like a faggy way of talking.

No, Like I genuinely like, I'm not even being ironic, no irony here. I think he if he was a morning talk show host instead of running for president, he would be so much happier. He just wants to be like the more Good Morning America host and talk about like the goss every day. He just wants the celebrity guys.

And I think we should let him do it. I I do too. He's so funny. He's so funny.

I can't remember who said this, but yeah they're They're like it was I am stealing this take from someone else, but like yeah, saying like yeah, just let him like pretend to be the president and give him give him a show call that president says or whatever, and it's just like, yeah, yeah, you guys two secret servicemen that like have to follow him for life now like behind him and they're just you know, uh, and they have like a mock up they have their filming in the

Oh. Absolutely.

You you brought this up before, we like earlier today Janey and in DMS. But the ninety seven year old soda shop, that's that's been one of my favorite ones.

This this like last year.

Yeah, yeah, do you wanna do you want to explain that one?

Yeah? No, I would love to so I I.

Yeah, this this kind of goes back into the more brain worms earworms kind of thing we were talking about at the beginning. But yeah, one of my favorite tweets that I see go around every once in a while is this tweet that says, and I'm not reading this, but I know it says that like pretty much verbatim, because this ninety seven year old soda shop still makes their soda the old fashioned way.

And it's like.

A video that's like of like a soda jerk I think they're called, Yeah, and he's like squeezing like some like cola syrup and then like like pouring like so.

Alter over it.

And this one's very interesting to me because it is very like indicative of kind of where we're at as an online community, especially on Twitter, where like we have reached like I think everyone except everyone with like a working brain goes like this is insane, Like the way this website works is so fucking stupid.

Yeah, oh yeah that.

Once a fucking week, this same video goes around and people are so impressed that it's like achieve this like like another level of like meta irony where people will just like retweet the video like not even like meme against it, Like people just retweet the video and be like I'm contemplating suicide guys, and just say like deep things that are like on their minds. And yeah, it's like fascinating to me.

The like meta memification, Like I hate saying it this way, but the meta memification of like those type of posts, because there's a lot of those like that. This is Apple's best feature. Is another one that's like kind of been like meta mem ifi or like like I don't know what you call that, like irony, like post irony, sort of like memed I don't know.

I hate to invoke this, but it reminds me of the God. This is so not in the Bible. It reminds me of the video that I Dubs made about Sam Hyde where I don't know if you guys have any what I'm talking about, but he made this kind of.

Oh no doing that.

Uh, don't don't worry, kit, I'm very serious, don't worry. But he explains like irony on like kind of like a circle and kind of like like normal irony being like something like sarcasm, I guess, and then like meta irony being like saying something serious but you mean it, but it's like still funny because it's not that serious.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's it's a really hard phenomena to describe. It's probably not like a new phenomena, but it's like happening on Twitter at like an exponential rate. And I just in the chat sent one of my favorites. And it's like kind of a double whammy here because you've seen like the mud Men, the mud Men on the like oil rig video.

I was just looking for that if you have Oh yes, I love this.

Yeah, yeah, nice so to give me on the old still s the old fashion. Yeah, so there's like different like edits of it, like it's like a green pitch like tinted version of it, and it's like, yeah, glorp, I.

Don't know fucking know.

And that's like the quote tweet of the like mud Men video where it's like slime field workers of Venus, they only get paid sixty seven credits a solar cycle. You didn't realize the price that's paid to get the coolant for your jingle wat and spidooper devices.

Yep. And I feel like we're.

Going out of order because like anyone who just like listened to me say mud men and then read that probably has no fucking ideas. And I don't know, have you ever dreamed of these men?

I've just seen this video and I thought, wow, that's pretty fucking sexy.

You know, let's try to explain, like I have personally nicknamed this video the diary if you go to if you go to my Twitter and search diarrhea Factory. I've mentioned it a handful of times because there's this video for our listeners who cannot see the mud Men video of these men doing some sort of like oil drilling as something. I'm I'm gonna be honest, I have no fucking idea what they're doing.

Cracking, that's what that's what we're tracking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're fracking and every so often, like literally like once a month, if not more.

A right wing account that's named.

Like historic Tutor or like traditional Pass like something like.

That, some sort of like trad account.

Yeah, yes, well we'll post this video and be like, is there anything more difficult than this? Can you imagine a woman doing this? And it's it's this just nonsensical video of men that are really dirty, and from what I do know, I still don't know what they're doing. But there is a woman that like quote tweeted it and was like, yes, I do this every day. I don't get near as dirty or do as many OSHA violates.

So yea, they don't have like any protective gear on in this video. They're breaking all all the rules in the book. Yes you know, yeah, because.

That's is gay to not want to die at work?

Is it gay to work? And the to not want to work at the diarrhea factory?

It is in fact gay to follow ocean. I will say that it is gay to do that.

Yeah. See that's another Twitter one that I'm very familiar with, because yeah, asking myself how many different things could be gay? Oh, the fellas, I think I became very, very very this is like, this is a deep cut. This has thrown it back. But y'all remember the whole It was a maybe it was a collection of Facebook statuses. I don't know, but the smell of his colon when he walks by,

I feel like, yeah, I'm like kind of a millennial. I'm like right on the cusp. I'm like, yeah, I can appreciate some of them. Yeah, no, I'm twenty eight. I'm like red at the tail ENNI I think is nice.

Yeah she is a gen z. Yeah I'm not. I'm not. I identify as.

But no, the like like the ninety seven year Old Diner and like the the the mud Men video, the Diarrhea Factory, like those are all examples of things that like will become like meta, like that meta that new like extra layer of meta irony over it, you know, like Twitter. I feel like in the last year has just been especially leaning into that ever since Elon took over, and everyone's becoming like more brain dead and more like nazified.

Absolutely, yeah, you know, it's like it's not really like you know, I like it might be like cringe to say, but like I liked Twitter, Like I liked the way like it was, like even if it was like I mean, first of all, like social media is bad, like all social media is bad.

Twitter's no different. I recognize that.

But you know, I made a lot of friends, you know, like like junipersaid, like having fun, like there was a lot of fun to be had.

Yeah, we wouldn't have half if.

No.

Yeah, actually, you know what, I want to pull this up because I was looking at this earlier. I was looking up the Wikipedia for Twitter, something I've never done before, and one thing I learned was that Twitter actually like started from a message board app thing like it was a thing to post messages for political campaigning for a group of people called the Ruckus Society thought Ruckus, but they were trying to protest the two thousand and four Republican National Convention.

Oh my god, so they're like, what's going on.

Yeah, so it's interesting to know that the very very like seed from this was for like left wing political activism, which is interesting.

But yeah, so if you look at their Wikipedia.

And first of all, it's x X Twitter, we ain't calling it that dog.

No, we're dead naming.

I mean, like ever since it became X, I know, I understand why transphobe's dead name.

It's really fucking fun. It's really fun. Yeah.

Yeah, especially it's fun like Okay, look, look if my friend used to be named Jacob and then they transition and they're like, no, i'ms are movies, I'd be like, you're Jacob until you change your fucking name to something like more reasonable.

We're pro dead naming.

Yeah, sorry, I'm joking for I don't know, I don't want to be uh no, we're no yea, yeah you can't.

You can't joke on this podcast.

No, we're serious. This is serious and I am being serious about dead naming.

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, full service. Yeah, that's meta irony. Yeah, that's what meta irony is.

That's just like my brain now at this point, it's just like who I've become, and it's it's horrible, but I'll never change.

I think I wanted to post you on this conversation is something that I feel like happens to me quite a bit in all of this is well, you know, since my journey becoming a ship poster, I would say it probably increased my ship posting a lot. Since, like I would say, like twenty twenty two, twenty twenty one is when I really became like a pretty avid ship poster and just stopped posting about serious shit. I just realized, like, I'm just here to have fun. You know. Are y'all

In reference to the show about drag Queens, it's about trans women, that's about voting. Non serve that can serve, will tell any mothers that can serve, will serve.

Tell us pose law. Pose law is.

An I'm just reading this off the Wikipedia is an adage of Internet culture which says that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, any parody or sarcastic expression of extreme views can be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of those views.

Yeah, okay, so.

So like it's like if it's if I said I'm in favor of dead naming and all of your audience was like, oh, we're going to kill her because she loves naming, because they thought I was serious.

Can't they can't like detect or any whatsoever. And I feel like this happens to me a lot because lately I've really gotten tired of like the whole Like I feel like it's very kind of like a neo Okay, sorry to be like this, but like I feel like it's very like a neolib thing to just like constantly meme about like Trump, and like in if you're like still meming about like Trump in twenty twenty four and not meaning about how fucking stupid Joe Biden is, like that irritates me.

And I feel like, I wait, you don't want to you don't want to see another post about how he's a cheetah oh.

Over like the second the mugshot happened, I was so over all the like the people being like, oh, look at the mugshot. I'm like whatever, But I like meme a lot about like Joe Biden and like Kamala Harris because they're genuinely like clowns sometimes, you know, and like I feel like that makes people think that like I'm like a Republican and I'm just like, no, I just like think everyone deserves criticism.

Yeah.

No, that's like the that's like kind of the reason why people and all three of us have probably been called like a Russian asset is because you like criticize like democrats.

You know, we're not supposed to.

So I have this current theory about Kamala Harris. I think I think Kamala Harris we I didn't. I didn't see this about her when she was running in twenty twenty for president, But I think the time is now to like understand her in a deeper context where she is politically not the best, she's politically not good, but she's an analog to Donald Trump.

Okay, hear me.

Out, because okay, the coconut tree, the coconut tree thing, Like she just says weird shit, like how Trump would say and and like this. So there's this video going around, so yeah, she does like weird She says weird shit

Paraelan kisses a woman on the stomach thinking that she was like pregnant, like type of vibes, you know.

Or the or the video of Madonna being like everyone stands up? Why standing up? And someone like she's in a wheelchair. She's like, oh, I guess you have.

That's it's just like I love that kind of goofy goof like pre dementia, kind of like behave you know.

Yeah, and I think so this is my also my theory. Republicans have been talking about this for a while. I didn't believe it at first, but I kind of do now that Kamala Harris at the Democratic Convention is going to replace Joe Biden. Joe Biden will step down and

The I don't know, Yeah, I don't think you're the only one that thinks this.

I've kind of seen this theory befloated a little.

Yeah, And I probably will be wrong because I've been wrong about every single prediction I've ever made politically since twenty sixteen.

So feels a little Bernie, like, here's how we can matha, here's Kamala's here's how matha for Bernie to win. I think here's how we can still make those way or probably me, this is just men, I'm a fucking idiot who dropped it. So sorry. I think Joe Biden's just gonna drop dead. And like then that's the funniest And then like Kamala has to like step up.

The October surprise is they're going to commit suicide on the same thing.

In a perfect club, right. I got sidetracked with the Wikipedia thing. But the funny thing is about it is that, like it starts off with just a bunch of like very very very basic information. But then when it gets to October twenty twenty two, where Elon Musk acquires Twitter, it says the platform has been criticized for enabling the increased spread of disinformation, hate speech, anti semitism, homophobia, fansphobia, and child pornography. O god, and I just love how

At what cost? At what cost is it? You know, but is that at the cost of us or him, I think like I think it.

I think it's at the cost of all of us, you know, like I think I think buying like that, Like Twitter has ruined Elon Musk's brain and not just his brain, like he is just the big biggest example of the type of person who has just like embraced the brain route, like we watch like the brain rot we consume is that we make, or the ninety seven year old diner that makes coke the old fashioned way.

Twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen, like the Twitter like side characters were people like Zach Fox or like Temmy Thick, you know, like people that like, don't worry kidding, you know, like Zach Fox is a.

Legitimately like funny person.

He made funny tweets that people like, and that's why he got popular.

Yeah.

The main characters now are like Ian Miles, Chong Libs of TikTok and Catured.

Oh god, Catured Oh god.

It's I don't know, like, it's just it's very like I don't worry about the kitten.

Yeah, no, we can talk about No, we can talk about that.

So I would love to talk about cats Shirt is very so cats Turd.

Do you want to explain Catsert? Oh god, I don't know if I can.

So basically, so, I've actually known about cat Turd for a couple of years. Now, this this is going to sound insane to anyone who doesn't know. But but Jane, do you know spurt Magoo on Twitter?

Yeah, you know, it's you love enthusiastically. Yes, that's the movie Spur Spurt Magoo.

Yeah, so spurt Magoo has been like someone who has like kept track of cat turd for years. And one thing that the first thing I knew about cat turd is that he has a fart fetish. Yeah no, let me find the ship. Let me find the ship. He followed like cat turd follows, and like turd is in the name. If you go on cat Turd's Twitter account, search a fart or like poop or turd and see it. Just look at all the posts he makes with those three phrases.

Carmen just clicked the chat, I sent a picture of him. I like imagine imagining like a Nico Avocado type of character.

Oh you will be You'll be really surprised that what you're about to see. Oh my god, he looks like, Okay, he doesn't look like Nico Alocado.

He looks like, oh he does not. No, I'm saying he doesn't. I'm saying he looks like the guy who replaced uh Joe exotic his He looks like the thin lipped math had who looks dope as hell. I'm sorry, that's like the thing dressing country because it's Nashville and John freaking Like the.

Thing with cat Turd is he just looks like any guy that would be at like a small town dive bar. You know, he's just like he's your average like right wing kind of weirdo. But let me before I explain more about cat Turd, because my experience with cat tured he but like maybe about five six my like exposure. I first found him in like twenty twenty one, twenty two because spert Magoo would make fun of him, so I knew him as the fart fetish guy first. So let me let me read a selection of some of

I don't know, he's just looks like a dad from gec County. Yeah, I was going to say it sounds like my dad the number of part.

Yeah, he looks like a fifty year old guy in like Georgia that like not Atlanta, but the rest of Georgia. That Yeah, it's just like chilling. But it is very very very reactionary.

Looking in his likes for some like training portn or something. You're not you're not gonna that.

We we would be we would know about that if that happened.

Absolutely, Yeah, but like a text at like one o'clock in the morning, like Carmen, it happened.

But this is this is like the example of like the type of main character that exists now. It's like all these kind of guys because Elan Moose, Moose Mussolini, Elan Musk kind of like would boost a lot of these accounts. But yeah, like back in the day, like we had Bean Dad. Do you know about Bean Dad?

Oh yeah, do you know about the dad Carmen? I actually think I do know about Bean Dad. Is that the guy who was like super like preparedness trying to prepare his daughter for like the hard.

Yeah, he like wouldn't show his daughter like how to open a can of something like that.

Yeah, and he got like in trouble for like child abuse.

Yeah, and then there was what else? There was like a good run of main characters, like right at the beginning and before and like a little at the beginning of COVID there.

Was Christian ever end up on Twitter. Yeah sort of.

I don't that's my favorite character. That's more for chance, yes more, that's way more fortune.

But I found out about Christian through YouTube. Well the thing is Twitter, like is four chan?

Now? Yeah?

It is? Yeah, four chan. But every once in.

A while you get either a video of a very fucked up looking fish that goes around or like Ian Miles Chong is about to be like executed in a Sharia law execution in Malaysia, or.

I hate that I know who Ian Myles. No one should know who he is. No, I know who lives of TikTok is and I know who Ian Myles Kongue is and I don't have a TikTok And I don't.

Say, Okay, you're well, you you know more about Twitter than I thought. I'll be honest, I know.

And it's a lot from Instagram, the trickle down effect and Twitter really is at the at the top.

Yeah, I genuinely still think despite how horrible and and I would never recommend anyone getting on Twitter, but it's still kind of is it still kind of is yeah.

Yeah, and it's funny because yeah, like bringing it back to like the Blue Sky thing, like Blue Sky and Threads honestly did have a chance to be the next thing, and they fucking Blue.

Guy waited too long.

Yeah, And the main thing is they still don't have DMS.

And it's yes, yeah, and that's one thing that like everyone wants, they don't have DMS, and they just waited a really long time to go public. I mean, I hate to say it, but like one of the best things about Twitter has always been that like there's an even playing field and like you know, you can be like hey, Senator John Fetterman suck Like you know, like there's an even playing.

The best ship about Twitter is like you could literally, yeah, tweet anything at anyone, any powerful position.

And there's a good chance you can get or even like that toxicity is like what like enriches the Yeah, that's huge. Yeah, and this is there's just nothing like white like that.

So yeah, like breaking that aspect into making it this like weird like pay to play thing.

And now they're like trying to do a pivot to video, which, like you know, there's some videos that I enjoy that go around every once in a while, like the ninety seven year old Diner. But there's like a new type and we kind of touched on it, Janey, when I think you were on this the second part where we talked about the horny reply guys that respond to like AI images of people.

Were you on that part.

Yeah, there's like a new genre of person where we're not scream. Yeah, that's like my favorite new thing about Twitter, where there's a specific guy that will like respond five follow him because it's hilarious. But I follow him now and he responds to AI. Okay, I have one here.

That's what Facebook has essentially devolved into is just like the craziest ai R and like tons of people saying like amen, what yeah, It's like Facebook is just the same, except the functionalities not even compared to Elon's Twitter. The functionality is worse, and it's all old people. That's all old people liking ai art On.

Like the reason like Facebook like sucks, and the reason why like, uh, like millennials and zoomers and younger is just going to gravitate less and less to it is because its whole model was like keeping in touch with like people, you know, like people in real life, and it's like I don't want these people to see what I'm doing on the interview.

You know, like kind of the whole point.

Like that's why I switched to Twitter also, and like reddicks, I was like, you know, I am annoying the fuck out of my grandma posting about Bernie Sanders, Like she doesn't need to see this. So like when when I like went to Twitter, and like when people like the first time someone I knew in real life was like, wait is this your Twitter account? The first time that happened, I was like, oh no, oh no, it's me. Yeah, but oh.

God, no. Oh no, it was terrifying.

I was like, I cannot believe you see this shit I post on Twitter.

Oh my god, it was like Jao videos or something. Yeah, no, it could be worse.

It could be worse a different world where I like leans it did like sex work or something.

Holy shit, I had a that was Okay. I when I say I've never been on Twitter, I have been on Twitter and it was only for sex work and I literally only followed others.

Yeah, when I was suspended, I used my like sex work account that like I kind of quit doing OnlyFans because I just got like bored and mental unwell enough to do it. And uh yeah, I used my like sex work account. I just I literally had to manually delete like pretty much every single post. No, and then yeah, that's that was like my like all to account until I got my like main one like restored.

To delete all the butt whole pit. I mean literally yea.

But yeah, I'll just say this, like I if Elon ever makes bookmarks.

Public, it's over. It's over.

That's the one place that there's still safety is the bookmarks.

That is, yeah, there is there is a sacredness to the bookmarks. I'm not.

I'm already not comfortable seeing how many bookmarks are on a post, like, oh.

Yeah, that's already too much knowledge. That's already too much.

It's also I mean it's probably fake, just like fucking all the views are and half of the fucking like I also read this just on the Wikipedia, but they found out in like twenty like eighteen or something that like fifteen percent of Twitter's users are not real.

It's just oh, it's absolutely higher now.

It's yea, yeah, it has to be like a lot higher now, like nudes in bio.

Yeah, yeah in bio.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

Yeah, there's that's like been another new Twitter thing that I love is so there was so there was like different types of ads that people will like buy. I think it's it's got to be some sort of like money laundering scheme. But I have a collection here of These are all different accounts, by the way that I'm about to read off. These are all different accounts, all blue checks, all ads that were bought back in February.

This is the first one.

Hello Visionaries, share your vision, subscribe and like this is the next one. Hello Thought Pioneers join the conversation and inspire here's the next one. Hey visionaries, share your vision, subscribe and like. And here's the fourth one. Hey thought, let's hay thought leaders, let's shape the discourse together all ads. Someone paid money for all of those ads to like appear like like they're trying to sell something.

What was it? I don't know. No, there's no link issues text.

That's gotta be Wow, that's got okay, Yeah, that's gotta be Russia.

There's just weird bullshit happening on this website.

Now.

Yeah, there is a weird uncanniness to it.

Like when you find like a post that has like clearly like it'll be just like maybe like a cute like animal video or something.

I don't know.

Just there's like this uncanny series of posting that you'll see where it's like people being like, wow, cool video, Uh huh one of the best. Yeah, wow, oh wow, what a nice video.

I'm gonna to share this. No human wrote that. A human did not write that shit.

Yeah, it's really like I don't know, it's it.

It's it's kind of it.

Fries your brain, but in like a different way than we've brought up already. Like it's just I don't know it's just this weird, like uncanny like assimilation of like humanity.

Yeah, Like it's like this experience, the way Twitter has evolved has really given credence to the dead Internet theory.

In my opinion, I.

Genuinely believe that as like completely true at this point.

Explain the dead Internet theory to me as a as a as a kindergarten.

So from my best understanding, it's it's just like a theory that like most of the Internet is basically just bot activity, and most social media is sustained by this spot activity. And I feel like seeing all of these types of posts like the pussy and bio, you know, these like really weird, uncanny posts that no human would ever say in real life, Like I just feel like, oh yeah, wait, no, this is like near like we're hitting a point where something is gonna like the we're gonna hit a bot.

They're just gonna start talking to each other. They're gonna the bots are gonna start like selling pussy pics.

No, that's so funny because that's like I've seen I don't know if I saved it, but I've seen two bots flirting with each other, like two two pussy and biobots flirting with each other. It's helpful, that's true. That is, it's like already happening. We're already there.

Maybe there won't be a like robot takeover in the future because they'll all be on Twitter just flirting with like, you know, like endlessly. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense because you know, the Instagram version of this, and everybody, every girl, tell me if you've clocked this Instagram account before, they've got like one hundred and one hundred k followers or something, and every post they make has like less than like two hundred likes on yeah, and like maybe

You know.

It's like, yeah, like projecting that sort of and like trying to manifest.

It, you know, yeah, like trying to make it till you make Yeah, exactly like me tomorrow on this fucking movie for sound that I've never fucking done before.

Yeah, ship, Yeah, I know. The that's it's a it's a fun place. It's a it's a it's ruined my life, but it's also it's made my life better.

So who's to say if it's good or bad?

Yeah, I'd feel remiss if I didn't mention how like you were like literally someone that was like targeted by the baron himself, like the baron your whole account like and then correct me if I'm wrong, But weren't wasn't your whole account fucking band?

Because like Ian Milestrong was like Juniper is this person and the like, So.

The exact way, the exact process that it happened, it wasn't him. I wish it was him, that would be so much funnier. It was actually libs of TikTok so I hate her. But so what I did is it was when Elon Musk changed how the headlines worked on Twitter. It was do you remember how like headlines used to appear below the article. He was going to get rid of the headlines. It was just going to be the image when you clicked on it, which is like, that's

I just like know about from I actually don't.

Know, Yeah, and she retweeted it and libs it came on libs of TikTok's radar and screenshotted her retweet of my post tagged Elon Musk like a little bitch baby that she was like, they're making fun of you. Yeah, and then so and then Elon Musk responded to libs of TikTok's posts, saying they're batshit crazy. And I when I saw he responded, I'm like, oh, it's over.

It's over.

It's over. And I was suspended like two days later. After that took that long, I was too. I like woke up one day and I was like, oh, I'm gone, I'm suspended.

That's funny because one of my finest, one of my only like proud, like genuinely proud like Twitter moments was after the club Q shooting, Tempoole no there with me. It's but Timpoole was saying something about how like I don't know all these conservatives were doing this whole like who me?

Like, how could what I have said led to this? Right?

And I like retweeted Tempoole and said Timpoole is a confirmed pedophile with multiple serious allegations against and it got like triple quadruple like ratio over them.

It's incredible.

I deleted it before I got I don't know, suit or something, but is very indicative of like the societal collapse that we're going through that, like so many people are just so willingly to say like insane shit and it just doesn't even matter, like I mean, fuck Temple, Like it's like it's not even really like about that. It's just like making ship up from like whole cloth about people just because who cares.

You can you can do anything you want. You can literally say anything, you can do anything.

People will believe you.

People will believe anything that you say if you're confident enough, just like they're gonna believe you're gonna do a great job, and you will do a great job. So you're gonna be confident tomorrow on your sound job.

Yeah, absolutely, same principle period. So society is collapsing. Shit.

Yeah, It's what I will say is just hang out, find find find the friends online, have a good time, try to avoid the like the dog shit because there's a lot of it, but there's there's also good people out there.

And it was quite fun calling Tim Pool a pedophile and then watching people like watching people say like, oh, so you're just saying stuff about people and like that's just how it is now, and it's like, yes, that's what he does, that's what these others everyone doing.

That's what they do, and that's why one of the like it's so it's it feels crazy to say, but like it genuinely is one of my favorite moments online that I know for a fact that Elon Musk saw me call him a pedophile like that.

I don't know.

I can die happy. Yeah, Like I just I could die happy right now. Like I am so satisfied with everything I've done in my life.

It is cool. If I could have, like one wish in my life is I would love to talk to Elon Musk's trans daughter just one time. Yeah, to her.

I just want to know if she's a if she's a beauty. Please reach out to us.

Yeah, reach out, sister. We are there for you. I'm pulling for you, guys. I'm pulling for you. Guys.

You guys got those Juniper. Thank you so much for coming on. Do you have anything you want to plug?

Yeah?

No, thank you for inviting me. This is so much fun. I hope people enjoy listening to us talk about the worst website of all time. They will yeah, yeah, no, I yeah, listen. I do a podcast called Western Kabuki. We kind of just talk about like things that are

Wow.

So we just talked about like shit like that, like like internet characters, internet cultures. We're going to do one eventually about urine therapists. Oh my god, I love that topic. I don't even Yeah, have you all talked about Will Blunderfield.

A lot at all that I'm aware of, not that I'm aware of. One day to talk about will Blunderful? Yeah? I will.

I will, Yeah, I will talk to you. I would like I need to know who this is. Yeah, so that's kind of like what we talked about on that show. I guess I stream Melee now, I stream Super Smash Brothers Melee every once in a way, I play Captain Falcon period. Yeah, yeah exactly. And then other than that, you can just follow me on Twitter at Can't Ever Die. That's where I'm at right now.

That's a legendary at By the way, thank you.

Yeah, yeah, no, I thought so too. I was so happy I got it and that it was available. That's all I got for plugs.

Cool. Well, thank you so much for joining us, Jennifer. You were the perfect guest. Thank you so much.

We really thank you. Yeah, no, you can just say I have like brain worms. I'm like so online and.

I know, I know I am. Yeah. I think we were all like we all happened to be just about well, y'all are a little bit like the next notch above condicy. It's just a.

Different strain, right exactly. We get the instant really, actually, this is a better comparison. We get the instant release. You get the extend that team.

Yes, I do get the extended relief. Well, Janie, that was a hilarious and funny episode. I think my brain has been absolutely fried by just the concepts that you just stuffed in my brain. Yeah, they'll never leave. Yeah, I've learned some absolutely crazy shit and I my brain is about to short circuit. But before it does, why don't we take some calls from our your listeners.

Janie, let's use the last like nine or ten brain cells you got for for good instead of them together.

I'm rubbing them together.

Let's let's hear what our little Amiba's got to say to us to that.

Hey, beauties, I'm Sam. She her not that you could tell. And I was just having this problem. I'll try to keep it short, but my I would I'm thinking about like breaking up with my girlfriend more than thinking about it. I would like to break up with my trans girlfriend. Things have been a little rocky. I feel like they've kind of run their course. I still like her a lot. She's a really good person, but there's just some relationship issues and some mental health stuff. Uh, and I just

Okay, Yeah, I kind of want to pitch this one to you first. I want to say right off the bat, I'm very sorry. That you felt the need to say. She Her followed by, not that you can tell. I'm very sorry. I have created the type of environment enough where you felt like you had to tell. I could actually tell. I could tell that you were sheet her. I want you to know that your voice is giving she her. Okay, you get. But that being said, this

Yeah, I have an answer, but like you're not gonna like it, Like you're not gonna like like what I'm gonna like what I have to say. But my my shortest answer here is there is no right like there is no better time. It's just like you could you could think like because because I mean, I understand what you're saying. I understand the logic here, and I appreciate it. But it's like what you're gonna like do it on

Like, Carmen, have you ever had have you ever broken up with someone? No? And well, yes I have.

Actually I feel like a lot of people if you fall into either the camp of like I've broken up with all of my partners or all of my partners have broken up with me.

Well, I've actually been So I broke up with my first like boyfriend that I had. He was like my first like serious boyfriend. I did break up with him. My second boyfriend broke up with me. I broke up with my third. So I've had like a I've actually had a pretty good like interesting uh yeah, like really, the best way to break up with somebody is to get to the point where you absolutely cannot fucking stand the person and you absolutely hate everything about them. Yeah,

And and do you sound like a like a not crazy person. You sound like you have you know, an empathetic bone that brain of yours. So yeah, that's obviously not like a realistic in this situation.

Yeah, but the reality is is if you wait until the right moment is, you're just gonna be waiting forever, you know.

I mean, I also have a very like, well, it's gonna be hard for me to avoid not getting into like my personal stuff to answer this question, so I'll just bite the bullet and say that, like I'm historically been a very kind of like cowardly person.

I don't like conflict, I don't like upsetting people. I hate it.

And especially I've I am on good terms with all but one of my exes, and historically, like I've kind of done this thing where I've just like waited for the relationship to get so like not even like toxic or bad sometimes, but just kind of like mid it's just kind of like just kind of like where neither of us are really getting anything out of this, and then they'll usually like break up with me in some way, and that's probably not like a good healthy thing to do at all.

So I don't want to recommend you do that. I don't think you should be like me in that regard.

Because this was also something that like I shared with one of my one of the only partner that I did break up with, and I feel like they might resent me for that because I feel like they might feel like that's something I did in our relationship. And yeah,

It seems like you care about them, and I think you should.

I think it's not normal to like hate and resent and have a toxic relationship with all of your exes, like no matter what like TV shows tell you, I think that's not normal. I think it's a lot more like indicative of like a normal mental state to like mutually break up to a degree, you'll you know, they might hate you, but I feel like in the long run, you'll realize that, like, oh I didn't care, I do still like this person. And that's how I feel about like all my exes.

I like them all.

I'm really good friends with some of them, but I don't want to be in a relationship with them.

And that is just something that's going to take time. There's not going to be a right time, Like there's not going to be a better time. And if you're waiting for like the right time and like a person's like mental health, even like you could break up with them and then they're like Grandma dies tomorrow and right you know, then they're in a place of like need and it's like, well, what do you do? You run back to them? Well not really, you know. Yeah.

And also not to sound like a fucking like I don't know Twitter psychologist, but like.

Twitter, we are, we kind of are.

But it's not fair for you to be like I want out of this relationship and then they're like, well, I'll kill myself if you'll leave me, Like, that's not how this can that's not how this should work. I'm not saying that that is necessarily what's happening. I think it's probably more so that you're concerned that, like if you leave her, then she'll she'll spiral or be left to her own devices.

In some way, it means you care. You know, it means you care, which is a good thing. It's a human thing. But at the end of the day, you know, you got to do the tough thing.

I think now that I'm like saying all this, I think the best probably advice would be maybe write something like a script sort of don't stick to it, like word for words, like reading it. But I think you should tell what you were supposed to say here is, write out your thoughts and like just get it all out.

So right, Yeah, I didn't give you a funny yeah, no funny answer there. Yeah, I know that's a tough one and I'm really sorry that you're going through that right now. And I hope that you know, well, I know everything will turn out to be okay, it's just a matter of time.

Yeah, or quick funny answer, Uh, just be really evil and do instead of getting to a point yeah murdercy was Ideah No, no, do the opposite of what we said it first, My god, where you said uh or you said like it's easy to break up with someone if you like you hate them, make them hate you.

Do something.

Be repulsive. Be repulsive and put your shoes on the table. Start start farting under the covers. Cheat as as much as you can.

You should have. Start cheating until you get caught.

Drinking problem. Just don't stop drinking until they're gone, you know. Just make it to the point where they're like, I I gotta get out of this.

When they become an alcoholic too. You you become a heroin outic.

Up up the anti, keep keep up in the ante until they can't keep up anymore.

That's that's what you gotta do.

Like, just become a worse and worse person until they're like, I can't stand this and uh yeah, So those are your two options.

So yeah, we hope we made that easy for you. Yeah, but I thank you for calling in, and thank you. We would love to hear your calls on next week's episode, our season finale, So please give us a call over on our phone number, which is Janie's got It. Oh my god, you I thought you were I thought you were about to say it. I've got it, I've got it. I thought you were about it.

Is it is six seven eight five six one two seven eight five. The Beauty translated love slash helpline. For whatever problems you may have, we can make them worse or better or worser, depends.

On how we're feeling that though, depends you know. Thank you guys for listening. Should we tease our season finale guest miss Well, Well, the iHeart people told me we're not allowed to say it, but it's Dylan mulvaney, So join us next episode for there donning Dylan mulvane. Yeah, we're talking to this.

Little little known uh little account Well, yeah, a little a friend of the show has been just begging us, like on stop, like please please let me come on.

Beauty translated. It's my favorite show. I need the exposure. Yeah.

Yeah, So we we're doing our best to uplift trans voices.

We're giving the beauty translated bump.

Yeah, we're doing We're doing that. So you know the Oprah bump, Yes, the Oprah bomb where the book club. Yeah, but this is the beauty translated bump, the beauty bump. Yeah, the beauty bump, I mean something else in Gwinnette County. But but uh, there would be a bump of coke with some bioton in it. Yeah, yep, so join us next week season finale, Beauty Translated, thank you guys so much.

Y'all my bye. Thank you for listening to Beauty Translated. Beauty Translated is hosted by me Carmen Laurent and Jamie Danger.

Produced by Kurt Garon and Jess Crinchich, with a special thanks to Ali Perry and Ali Cantor.

Our theme music is done by Aaron Kaufman and Beauty.

Translated is proud to be a part of the Outspoken Network from iHeart Podcasts.

For more iHeart podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.