Episode 43: Mastering Four Challenges Women Preppers Face Every Day

spk_0:   0:00
Hello, everybody.

spk_1:   0:01
Hello, everybody. And welcome to the show the show, the three b y podcast. And today we have kind of Ah, I don't want to say Special Edition. We have kind of a fun addition. I think it's gonna be fun. It's mostly going to be her talking because newsbreak she's a woman that I'm not. This show is for the ladies. Hello. Men are more than welcome to listen And you might learn something if you d'oh,

spk_0:   0:27
I hope you will intact

spk_1:   0:29
you. Well, yes, because one of the things we've noticed. And by the way, if you hear a noise in the background, we are doing our usual or driving. It's a Sunday afternoon. We're driving excellent, most dangerous. One of the most dangerous parts of north Missouri's roads. A story this moment acre for there's an accident. A week. It seems like it anyway, pressing right along. Welcome to the show. We're going to be talking about something that well. It's something that we both discussed quite a bit because it's something that is very much a part of the three B Y project and that is being inclusive to both men and women

spk_0:   1:15
being inclusive, full stop with women being a big part of that because they're under served in a lot of prepping community,

spk_1:   1:23
right? And I would think I do find this interesting is because we we get analytics for our Web sites. We know pretty much you know which groups of people are reading and our side or listening to our podcast. And I was shocked at the split of men to women because I know, like on forms that I go to its 90% men, and I expected somewhere nearly in Baton Range. Four men, two women. When I first looked at our analytics, I was absolutely shocked. It's not quite even up, but it's darn close to being 50 50. It's actually 54 46 men and women reading our website, so that tells us that you're out there and that's great

spk_0:   2:13
that you'll find that some of it in some of our early podcasts. We sound like we're aiming it mostly at a male audience, and that's because we started with the assumption that it would be similar to what would seen on other forums and stuff who have been to when I am at those kinds of places. I don't feel quite his rare as a woman at a gaming convention. Or sometimes I wonder if there's been another woman in the room. But I definitely felt we're making a strong minority way.

spk_1:   2:49
I got a break in here. We got this really weird little game we play. This would cross the railroad tracks running, overturning, running over trains. We love running over trees and we just got a double one going each way. It's It's these trains. This is the main line of one of the main railroads in America. Become whipping through here at 60 70 miles an hour. So you don't catch all that many of them?

spk_0:   3:10
Yes, and he was engaging me in a silent celebration while I was trying to board a train. It's got a little stilted

spk_1:   3:16
whether when they're moving, it doesn't really count if they're sitting there under the

spk_0:   3:19
trains running over you, Not so much

spk_1:   3:21
anyway, pressing right back to the point.

spk_0:   3:23
Okay, so we were aiming the early podcast, assuming we had a mostly male audience until we started seeing some of those analytics and I I think, and hope that a lot of the difference in shift is because we do intentionally include topics and right in a way that it's not supposed to be strictly for a male audience.

spk_1:   3:44
That's right, and we're not what you're not going to see on our podcast or on our site either. Is sexism you? That's just not something you're going to see. We just we abhor it. We think it's a terrible thing. We have gone out of our way now. We're not PC where we're very far from PC Were Justus far from PC as you can get? But we also don't think that Ah, a person's gender is relative to irrelevant to the discussion a ce faras you know, worth and stuff like that it's not were equal, so we just make sure that we address things equally. However, we do realize that all people are different in the genders are different, they're different but equal and east gender has their own challenges. And so that's part of what this podcast is about,

spk_0:   4:44
a few of which are biological, a lot of which our cultural, but they're there in either case. So we had to deal with them

spk_1:   4:50
and you could tell this pretty easily between the things that are consistent through all cultures. You're the biological ones that stuff the way we're wired. It's pretty much in every culture there is. But the culture ones are really evident when you look at cultures where one gender or the other is extremely dominant, and that's that's learned. And we're not gonna go into which cultures air, which, because that's outside the point. You know, that has nothing to do with what we're talking about. We're talking about our culture here. Basically, this is even though we're were read in throughout the world. Actually, it's surprising some of the places that people are listening to in reading our our stuff. Predominantly, it's the United States and Canada and Australia, and they have a very similar culture. So you are. By far our number one reading and listening group is America, and that's followed by Canada. And then Australia is a strong third, and then pretty much it drops off, too. All over the planet, including Micronesia. Yesterday we had a Micronesian person reading, which is interesting, isn't it?

spk_0:   6:16
Yes, their challenges ey're different than mine.

spk_1:   6:20
Yes, I rule

spk_0:   6:20
not so much. The ice storms a lot more of the hurricanes in the volcanoes and the volcano.

spk_1:   6:26
So anyway, long story, short wave. What brought this to mind is I was going back for a picture two that I took of an elephant to a graphic to go along with a story which will have been published by the time this kid's published its begin being published first. If you're listening to this, that this is being recorded the day it is being published, So probably gonna listen to this week or two in the future. I look what I found a good picture of an elephant right next to because we're leaving pictures I took in a zoo, I sound found a picture of a really, absolutely self satisfied silverback gorilla. He was sitting there. He is the king of his world. And of course this is a gorilla in a zoo. So he may have been the king of his world, the degrade ist of all he surveys in his own mind. I mean, he is the silver back, but he's the silverback in a little enclosure in a zoo in a country far away from where he really should be, that we're not opposed to zoos. We, in fact like them. We like their mission and the fact that they're saving many animals from extinction. Having said bat, I find it the smugness on his face, and that's the graphic that goes with this podcast and story. It's just it's amazing because there he is. He is the silver back in. You won't explain what a silverback actually is for people who may not know

spk_0:   7:57
he's the dominant gorilla, actually, all the dominant male gorillas in a group. Our silverbacks, the one who are ones who are middle aged, too late, middle aged, really, and they are have abundant testosterone. When you climb in, the gorilla hierarchy actually start releasing board testosterone. So there are middle aged girls that are actually aren't silverbacks because there not dominant in their troop so they don't get the extra testosterone. They don't get the silver hair along their spine. They don't get the extra mass. They don't get the extra aggression. So silver backs are the testosterone enriched, dominant males of the group, and the males and gorillas are dominant over everybody.

spk_1:   8:45
Trust me on that, Silverbacks could get real aggressive. We have seen aggression displays that. Frankly, Spice doesn't scream like a little girl in there was one of the Atlanta Zoo. Or was it was Atlanta. No, it wasn't Atlantic. It was Uh huh. It was Omaha that he came. There's, ah, somebody staring at him, which is non gorilla. You don't do that with a silverback. Somebody was staring at him behind a window. It was, ah, male, adult, male human, and the silver back was looking at him and got mad because he's took

spk_0:   9:25
it as

spk_1:   9:25
a challenge and he came over and in. I can't explain how fast that gorilla move because he just basically leapt the 100 foot to the window in just almost instantaneously and slammed into this big, huge reinforce plate glass window and shattered plexiglass, wasn't it? Is that

spk_0:   9:55
safety glass

spk_1:   9:56
safety glass, That stuff that you can't really break through? This is in stick stuff. There's two layers of it. He came. He absolutely smashed that mirror like glass shattered it. Of course, it didn't fall apart, but, you know, and then he just kind of gotta step back and gave me that gorilla grid and cough thing

spk_0:   10:20
about. This is I had a zoom lens and I was zooming in on the gorilla, trying to get it. The expression on his face when he stood up, pounded his chest and started the charge. And the guy who had challenged him was right next to me. So from my point of view, this guy was up close and personal through the zoom lens and he was coming directly at me and he was pounding the glass directly in front of me. Actually did get the shot. But I was running a full speed backward and apparently exclaiming it the second time. I didn't recognize that part. That was all about

spk_1:   10:51
like a six year old. Get

spk_0:   10:51
away, Get the shot! And I didn't have enough brain space really else.

spk_1:   10:58
But you know what else was going on there? There was a full family, other gorillas sitting by, kind of watching him going. Well, there he goes again. So even though he this is a gorilla, unevenly has that much aggression and testosterone, these other gorillas were able to deal with it. Why? Because they're gorillas to you know, you can't have a human interacting with aggressive male gorilla because, you know, the girl gets a little mad. He just look, show the side of your head and crushes your skull because we're not gorillas. But these other Pete beings in there with the male gorilla are gorillas. So that's part of, you know, part of it. We're gonna use guerrillas as our example. Okay? We're not saying people are girls because people are not guerrillas. People don't have the same culture. People don't, you know, But they are a similar enough to us to use them as an example without big offensive to everybody. We're not. Guerrillas were not descended from gorillas. Even if you believe in evolution on stuff like that, we are not descended from a gorilla. So anyway,

spk_0:   12:12
so the reason this seems to relate very well to me is, at least from my perspective, coming into prepping and starting to learn about prepping. It struck me as an incredibly testosterone enriched ah kind of community when I first got into it a little bit less so now. But still, it's a very testosterone in rich community with, um, a lot of one upmanship. And a lot of I know better about this than you do and a lot of survival of the fittest surviving against all odds. Um, I could survive with a two matches and a pocket knife in a trek over the Alps kind of mentality.

spk_1:   12:57
And there is. Everybody has to admit. There's a lot of that in the least in the online community. It really is. And it's ridiculous.

spk_0:   13:04
And at least here, three b. Y. That's really not the groove we're going for, although if you got stuck in the Alps with two matches and a pocket knife, we certainly hope for you to survive. And we certainly think that some of the skills you may have picked up that we have help try and get across may help you survive. That's really not. What our group is about

spk_1:   13:24
is about is to teach you that if you get into that situation, you should be carrying a satellite phone so you can get somebody to get you out of there. That's what the three B Y project is being prepared with riel world stuff to get you out of the jam here and now I get it. If you're stuck there because paranoid Yeah, Baba. But pressing right Look, we're not about this is an episode about your

spk_0:   13:52
whereabouts thriving as well as possible in whatever circumstances, life throws at you, and sometimes they will be bad circumstances. And that's not just about needy. Greedy. I'm going to stay alive because you know there are things you want to stay alive for and having a good life and having your family have a good life for part of those things. So that's part of what's it about?

spk_1:   14:18
Let's talk about how, AH, people who are not silverbacks and women are but women

spk_0:   14:29
can't seven female silverbacks.

spk_1:   14:31
They're Bebo silverbacks, but they're much more rare.

spk_0:   14:36
They are a minority among females,

spk_1:   14:38
so let's talk about people not necessarily women. But a lot of women may fall into this who are not silverbacks, and how do you deal with it?

spk_0:   14:45
I am, for example, not a silverback. I consider myself a strong will not easily intimidated woman. If you're £1000 gorilla. Okay, you can intimidate me, but I'm not easily intimidated. I'm not scared of a whole lot of things. I don't mind being polite to people, but if I feel a need not to get run over, I have no problem expressing myself. So I'm not weak, but I am by no means a silverback is. I'm just not interested in that kind of display. And when salty brought up this topic to me, one word came shining into my mind. And I'm pretty sure that most women on the planet Arkham familiar with the concept if not the word, let me introduce you to the term if you haven't heard it yet. Mansplaining mansplaining display ting.

spk_1:   15:36
What is mansplaining

spk_0:   15:39
for the women who have just had your blood pressure go up 10 points taking deep breaths. All right, we're not gonna mansplaining to you. Mansplaining is when a woman knows perfectly well what she's doing and some guy decides he's going to step in and explain it all to her because she is the poor, weak woman and not his wise in these things as the man so maybe doesn't need. Maybe she didn't need any help at all, and she was doing just fine. Maybe she likes to do things a different way than the guy I saw. She was doing things. Maybe she actually did want a question answered, but is not an idiot and didn't need to be mansplaining to. But Mansplaining is doing an explanation which is often not required and certainly more pompous than is required by talking down at somebody from a position of great experience and wisdom. When you basically have no reason to assume you're in that position other than I'm the man and she is the woman and therefore I must explain all things to her. You want to know why a whole lot of women don't like to shoot because I don't want to get mansplaining to when they're learning because you do need things explained to you. But you don't want to be treated like that.

spk_1:   16:59
And sometimes I'm sure a lot of men don't even realize they're doing this. I have learned not to man Splain. I have been trained, uh, properly, but a lot of men. It's something that we just don't realise for doing. And once we realize we're doing it, a lot of men, well, a lot of guys just don't care. They'll keep doing it because they're just idiots. It's all right. It's just

spk_0:   17:32
not a lot won't Well, I

spk_1:   17:33
won't a lot 00 okay. And, uh,

spk_0:   17:37
and many times when ah guy figures out that a woman is actually pretty capable. He'll quit doing it, too. And that's all for the good. That's one of the reasons why I was hoping guys would listen to this, too, because I think a lot of that is not intentional. But it's always offensive, and it's always counterproductive to what is the guy's trying to get done other than, perhaps, if he's doing it to feel good about himself, Maybe it's working for that. I don't know. I don't care.

spk_1:   18:07
Well, this is one of the things if you listen to our girls with guns, podcasts or read any of our girls with guns articles, this is one of the things that we were very much talking about with, if you have, if you are a woman or you have a female family member or friend in your life that you want to become a proficient with firearms. But they're hesitant. One of the tools that we were giving out was okay, part of that, maybe, and we didn't use the term, but this is what we're talking about, a part of that Maybe she just didn't want the man's plane but you, or if you're the woman, you don't want to be man Splain to. That's just annoying. So part. What about one of our tools that we gave is fine, have her be taught by another woman or by a professional instructor who knows how to teach and not mansplaining with a lot of teachers. Don't man Splain their teachers. They know what they're doing. They've been trained to do this, so you know it can takes away any relationship or familial it near my sister. You're my daughter, your whatever. You're my mom.

spk_0:   19:24
Positions of power. It's all that that

spk_1:   19:27
away. So that is just the student, the instructor. The subject matter, that's that. It's amazing how much that will take away a lot of the pressure behind, and we're using learning to shoot as an example. But there could be other things.

spk_0:   19:48
There's lots of other things, but

spk_1:   19:49
some things like, for example, a person may want to be interested in like ham radio. It's a good example, but you know, because I don't know if you know ham guys.

spk_0:   20:05
They're mostly guys,

spk_1:   20:06
mostly guys, and there's a lot of mansplaining goes on in ham radio, amateur radio. They

spk_0:   20:12
also try and man Splain to each other a lot I noticed. Yeah, it's kind of dominant. Instructive.

spk_1:   20:19
Over. They're very much

spk_0:   20:22
jostling for for silverback Dr Recognition.

spk_1:   20:27
Nothing I'm against effect. I'm I'm in the process of learning how to, uh,

spk_0:   20:32
but one of the guys who's helping him learn is a professional college instructor who teaches in largely male dominated fields but has learned how to teach women effectively. So he's not a man's plainer.

spk_1:   20:50
You don't actually stay a college professor. If you are, man's later

spk_0:   20:54
you can. And some fields. Actually, I've been there. Have been in those college classes. Yeah, it happens.

spk_1:   20:59
Okay, baby name. I know his name, but I'm not naming it.

spk_0:   21:04
Yeah, we'll just call him the Incredible Inverted Pear Man and leave it that way. Don't need Thio. Call out anybody by their given names here.

spk_1:   21:16
He's probably still alive. I shouldn't say.

spk_0:   21:19
I don't know. My diet and exercise habits were a lot better than is. So there we go. He was a big guy.

spk_1:   21:26
Yeah, football coach will give me that. He was a football coach, right? And he was a man. Split is a football coach who is a college professor, a doctor, even but his job was being the university's football coach, but he had to teach a couple classes because it was a smaller university. And basically it was all of his football guys taking the class. A few other people, including a couple of women,

spk_0:   21:52
that was a P E class and most of us out random. So even I outrun random and I run like an arthritic turtle. I will out bike a lot of people, but

spk_1:   22:03
you have many, many athletic skills, but running is not. You can run,

spk_0:   22:10
for example, backwards when being chased by a gorilla,

spk_1:   22:14
but it's not a choice that you make. Yeah, so anyway,

spk_0:   22:20
all right, so what's a woman to do if she needs to get information on the people who know it tend to do that to you. I will. What I was thinking about how to put this I was thinking about Sometimes when it's time to go feed the horses, you really want to get the horses fed, and sometimes you just gotta walk through some horse poop to get there, and the first thing is, it's not about you. It's about desire to feel superior. The part of the person doing the mansplaining because I've never been man Splain to by somebody who didn't want to feel they were superior to me. I've never seen it done by anybody who didn't want to gain a position of superiority. So it's Yeah, whatever, sometimes realizing that it's not all about you. And it is about a character flaw on their part, frankly, makes it a little easier deal with, at least in my experience, because I've had to do that. I do some things that are not traditionally feminine. And, uh, that's where you tend to run into the problem most. Okay, that's part of

spk_1:   23:34
it. So we go, we're gonna check the list. You know how sweet you are lists?

spk_0:   23:37
I do my lists, but I kind of remember what's next on the list. Which is good, because it would take me a while to unlock this thing,

spk_1:   23:44
huh? Yeah, we have got the app on my phone that keeps it from being used while we're well, while I'm driving because I'm not saying that I have a tendency to do stuff on my phone. I don't tax training.

spk_0:   23:59
Plenty. Put it this way. He has the wisdom to lock his phone, so he is not tempted to fiddle with it while he's driving. We can put that in. The

spk_1:   24:09
one thing I have trained myself about it is Do not click. See, I'm not driving at because that's lying and you don't wanna lie.

spk_0:   24:16
There you go. I click is I'm not driving app when he's driving and I'm looking at stuff. So anyway, I think a lot of the reason that the prepper community started out so strongly masculine is that it is both a cultural and, to some extent biological drive in males to protect their family members. And that a very admirable trait, I might point out, to want to protect their family members. I think the feeling that it is just the guy's responsibility is over done quite a bit. I think it's both partners is responsibility, but a guy being committed to keeping his family safe. I've got nothing but admiration for that basic drive, and that's where the proper community first rose from.

spk_1:   25:09
Right now, when the prepper the prepper is more of a new word and its people probably wondered why we always use peppered almost exclusively as the survivalist. Well, the term survivalist was something that came first. And to me, it's a word that is much more. It's a

spk_0:   25:28
reality show, not

spk_1:   25:31
not reality. So

spk_0:   25:33
it is me militarized. That, too.

spk_1:   25:36
Yeah, it's much more militant. Yeah, and that's not what we're about. We're about certainly were about protecting yourselves. Where were exceedingly pro gun? We're about protecting yourself or about protecting your family, but that's only a part of you. Protect your family not just of the barrel of a gun, but with the food that you grow in your garden. You protect your family with the house that you have that's heated. Even with the power out, you protect your it's a It's a holistic approach, not just a I've got my knife. I've got my gun. We're safe. Which, which that survivalism. The word has that more of a connotation. So that's why we do it. And that's also part of why we're a little different.

spk_0:   26:19
Yeah, it's about thriving, and that's part of where the difference comes in because when you heard Soltys examples there, it came through automatically and what he was talking about. Food warmth, protection from danger that tends to yeah, health as well, health of us. Well, but ah, lot of guys is interesting. Vision is so tightly on those areas that they overlooked some other aspects of thriving. It's not just about surviving. It's about, um, thriving. You want to care for people as well as protect them. I think a lot of times when guys feel threatened, they get more. Guys, we're not, is naturally cooperative is women, and that is something of a biological difference. They're not naturally as cooperative as women. So when they feel threatened, they're more likely to try and back away from contact where a quid pro quo quid pro quo help each other out. Kind of attitude and approach comes more easily and naturally a lot of times to women, and that is a strength that women could bring because I for one at least in the kind of community where we live in, I can't imagine holing up in my house and eating my stored preps while my dear neighbor from across the street starves to death. I'm not gonna do that, and she is not going to stay in there and be afraid and not want to get involved. If she sees somebody breaking into my house. Okay? She's not gonna come out with her gun. Probably because she's a nice little lady

spk_1:   28:16
which fits up, which, you know which way across the sea Across the other street. She's probably coming out with a gun. Yeah, she spends on which neighbor lady, too. But she's a lot more. Oh,

spk_0:   28:29
don't mess with her.

spk_1:   28:30
No mess with her. Yeah, she's a good partner. I'll give you what? We have great neighbors, but, hey, don't mess with her.

spk_0:   28:36
Yeah, but the thing is, she would be looking out for us when, uh, I couldn't get home one time when I might. My dog was still alive. She's died of old age since then, couldn't get home, and salty was out on a business trip or something, which he was doing a lot of that point in time. Storm. Something couldn't get home. She noticed, and she went and made sure my dog was taken care of without me having to ask. So what you looking out for one another and covering each other's shortcomings? People are stronger together than they are a part in many cases, as long as you could trust people, so

spk_1:   29:18
I got to tell you the story about the neighbor. Lady, is this This is funny. It's a quick story. One day I came home for lunch and I noticed the dog wasn't in her area in the backyard we haven't fenced off area for, had a fenced off area for she could be out in the sunshine and didn't have to get cooped up in sword. Um, but the gate was open. Oh, heck, somebody's let the dog out. And so I came. I got my car popped round was gonna go look around the neighborhood, see if I could see him and I go down the street and all of a sudden I see the neighbor lady with her dog on a leash. And so I pulled up and I saw I was just worried that the dog got out and she said, No. I walk her every day. I don't know, the lady was coming over and because our dog loved her, she is cheating like a lot of people. She loved the neighbor lady like you do. Okay.

spk_0:   30:24
Yeah, I told her she should ask me years ago, and I told her it was fine, but I didn't know she was actually doing it every day

spk_1:   30:32
for a walk every day. Okay, Who knew, anyway? Back to the subject.

spk_0:   30:41
It's stronger if you take care of each other. Okay, We

spk_1:   30:43
gotta look the list.

spk_0:   30:44
That is something that is a tendency to do that and knowing how to do that

spk_1:   30:51
our best with phone lists on the phone.

spk_0:   30:56
Yeah, Yeah, he reached

spk_1:   30:58
it. D'oh, D'oh, d'oh, d'oh! D'oh!

spk_0:   31:03
That's a strength that women could bring to the conversation. Now there are multiple ways to approach it. And I'm not gonna tell you. Some women dealing with the men is not much of a problem other than when you need a little bit of instruction or training in something because a lot of women are taking care of themselves every day. So it's not an issue if you are in close association with a guy and you're a cooperative project as salty and I are, there are multiple ways to go about managing the interaction, shall I say, getting it done effectively. And different styles work for different people. Salty. And I I have no problem. We just worked it out over the years, and we are some things he's more in charge of and some things I am or in charge of, and we are both comfortable without in both directions. So,

spk_1:   32:05
Joe Point, that's yeah, to a point where I except for when I slack I'm a slacker and I slack. Yeah, well, from what I was supposed to get something done and don't do it or when I got the guy, I

spk_0:   32:16
I admit

spk_1:   32:17
it. I'm the one who piles of trash to highs. Me. There's

spk_0:   32:22
some things we have not decided or my job and those what? It's not what I'm left to take care of it. I'm not so happy about. But the reverse is also true.

spk_1:   32:32
But as long as everybody has to find Roland, you can agree upon that roll. It makes things much easier. Like, you know, I generally do a lot of the laundry. I don't know all the laundry, but I generally do most of it. Probably

spk_0:   32:44
buying the stuff is the man

spk_1:   32:47
that she hates to shop. Hate shop. I'm not shopping, so I I just I do all the shopping in fact, down to the point of where I buy some of her clothes for on. That's, you know, most women out there on. And I'll be honest with the most women out there. Probably a little bit horrified by that. But it's true.

spk_0:   33:06
He's got a lot,

spk_1:   33:06
but she's wearing right now on the shirt that she's right now wearing right now and

spk_0:   33:12
issues. Yeah, I bought you chose my own socks. There we go.

spk_1:   33:17
Yeah, but look, those socks you wore yesterday, I bought Yeah, so she buys her own drawer. So So, yeah, See, there's that And I even set up the glasses that she's wearing to buy. She picked the frame, but I did everything else. I actually bought them. She picked him,

spk_0:   33:38
So that's his job. But other things that might be masculine jobs in other households, like getting the land management done at the place. That was my job.

spk_1:   33:50
That was her job for not because I I didn't want to do it. It's just she is much more avail. She has days in the week that she's more available during the actual day. I am never available.

spk_0:   34:00
That and I'm the biologist, So

spk_1:   34:03
yeah, we're trying. We're trying to do our place biologically, right? So anyway,

spk_0:   34:09
yeah, there is another approach, and I'll lay out quote from the movie there

spk_1:   34:14
because we love this movie,

spk_0:   34:15
so it will just be something you can keep in mind. You can decide whether it's an approach that suits your household or not. The man is the head of the household, but the woman she is, the neck and the neck in turn the head end the way she wants. That's really thank

spk_1:   34:33
ee. I love that. Maybe not the second with the 1st 1 and just it is one of the best movies. It's in fact, is one of those, Maybe is that everybody tells you about using an It sounds like the board. I'm a guy. This is a wedding, a flat. It's hilarious. Yeah, I don't know a single person who's watched it. Didn't think it was absolutely hilarious. My big fat Greek wedding So you haven't seen it find a way to make that happen.

spk_0:   35:00
I'm not in the manipulative games at all, so not my groove, but in some places that works better. It also can help if each person is aware of the other person's strengths and weaknesses and cuts him a little slack. I mean I know there's some things I'm not good at, and salt is very nice about giving me slack on those things. When he starts to say by another gun that I don't think we need, that could have happened a time or eight or 12 in our little. That's how they get the idea in our married life. Okay, as long as it's not interfering with what we need to do as long as it's not a problem, all right,

spk_1:   35:49
Yes. So is that our list? Get along. We need a rabbit.

spk_0:   35:56
Yeah, So both partners in any partnership have an important role to play. And there's absolutely no reason. Women I need a man partner to do any of this stuff. So just be aware that it's important is important for everybody to be prepared and to be an active part of the process. It is unjust to put the whole burden of being prepared for some disasters or certainly likely to come. It's unjust to put the whole weight on burden on one partner, so I'm glad you're here.

spk_1:   36:34
And if you're the silver well, coming to this if you're the silverback, listening to this yourself, recognizing yourself as the silverback, and you've taken it all upon yourself, and you maybe even find it. That your partner, spouse, whatever is not on board with what you're doing, and she's just putting up with it grudgingly. It may not be the prepping that she's grudging about.

spk_0:   37:04
It may be

spk_1:   37:05
the mansplaining in the silver backing and the I'm taking care of this and this is what we're gonna do

spk_0:   37:12
or feeling like she's. She's the minion in every partnership that will erode anybody's interest.

spk_1:   37:20
And, you know, if she doesn't see the relevance or the importance of what it is like prepping as wise, it's important. Um, then there's a good chance that she's not. It's not that she never will. It's just that the approach that's being used is not one that works for her.

spk_0:   37:47
And there are strengths that come with the new perspective. Like the whole the kid will eat it if the kid is hungry enough, while it may be true, will engender a heck of a lot of miserable nous in the meantime, and coming up with some good ideas on how to deal with that, in the meantime, can bring everybody into a much less stressful place for an already stressful time.

spk_1:   38:10
We're gonna keep coming back to this subject of of the reluctant spouse over time because it's something that's really important. But for now, this is We're getting to that length that we're gonna shut her down and tell you have a great day, go forth and thrive. We'll catch the next time.