Hi! We’re new and we don’t know a lot. What we do know is that these reviews are ridiculous as always. We read reviews written by some very crabby people and then Alex proves that Southern California has the best convicts. Please enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit ...
Jun 19, 2019•59 min
A Beach Too Sandy love story: We love you very much and we will never hurt you. Come join us as we dive into our email inbox and read the best of the best citizen reviews! If you'd like to submit a funny review, email us at beachtoosandy@gmail.com with "Between You And Us" in the subject line. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone...
Jun 17, 2019•47 min
We're back with another episode for your listening displeasure. We read the worst reviews of movie theaters in Providence, RI, and Christine reads reviews written from the perspective of pets. I mean, who would want to miss hearing Christine channel her new friend Martin Van Purren? Oh, you? Well then go away. As for the rest of you, please enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, sirkoto51, and tyo...
Jun 12, 2019•56 min
Between all the talk of pearls and jumper cables, this episode is particularly heinous. For that reason, we're officially putting a ban on 13-19 year olds listening to this podcast. For everyone else, please enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Jun 05, 2019•57 min
Welcome to our morning morbid show with morning joe. In today's episode, we're taking you on a very bumpy ride through New Orleans. Please refrain from peeing or exposing yourself, no matter what we say in the show. After we give you the rundown of the debauchery of ghost tours, Christine talks about lost corpses and Disney World. Just listen if you want any of this to make sense. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by ...
May 29, 2019•55 min
Is it possible for people to give their local parks bad reviews? Yes. And it's as crazy as you'd think! Alex then reads conspiracy theory reviews that no one needs to hear. Whether you listen to this in your home, lighthome, or waffle home, you won't be disappointed! Don't take our words for it, just listen to our new friends: Matthew, Poopie, and Coochie Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-...
May 22, 2019•51 min
Get your sunglasses emoji ready, because we've got some "cool" reviews for you. We're reading the worst reviews of DMVs in Phoenix, AZ. Now imagine how boring an episode like that would normally be, and try to give this one a shot anyway. We end the episode with hilariously awful reviews of restaurants where customers thought they were receiving other people's leftovers. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus Whit...
May 15, 2019•35 min
Ghosts, choking, vampires... wait, what podcast is this again? Oh yeah, the one where we take the mask off of humanity and reveal its truest form. And in this episode, we're back to reading reviews sent in by our listeners! Come join us as we dive into our email inbox and read the best of the best. If you'd like to submit a funny review, email us at beachtoosandy@gmail.com with "Between You And Us" in the subject line! Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-...
May 13, 2019•33 min
In our most educational episode yet, we broaden your vocabulary as well as your understanding of the Geneva Convention. But don't worry, there's plenty of stupidity as we explore our nation's capital for the worst post office reviews we can find. Then, Alex gives a challenge to YOU, the listeners, because he's a failure. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, typos, John Siegler, and John L...
May 08, 2019•39 min
Welcome to Geppetto's Geriatric Sex Dungeon. Grab a doll, pick a booth, and enjoy our tastiest episode yet! We learn about all the toys Chicago has to offer, and we explore the stupidest recipe reviews on the internet! Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 01, 2019•42 min
In this week's episode, we reveal our titular story. We also discuss condoms, feces, and panty liners. So basically... we're discussing humanity this episode. We do that by reading reviews of both ABZ and LDC. No idea what those are? Listen to find out! Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Apr 24, 2019•45 min
This podcast made me laugh so bad!!! I threw up. It's time to kick off your Skechers and enjoy a new episode of Beach Too Sandy. While exploring reviews of elementary schools, we inadvertently explore our unfortunate middle school experiences. Enjoy the trauma! Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and typos. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Apr 17, 2019•47 min
Episode 20 is the extravaganza you didn't know you needed! To mark the special occasion, we surprise each other with reviews of places that are close to our hearts. Hop in Guy Fieri's convertible and take this trip down memory lane with us! Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, typos and Mark Snow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Apr 11, 2019•53 min
Cover your trouser! We're back with some PHAT reviews, ranging from Starbucks to Mount Rushmore. This episode = was passable. Just don't laugh too loudly or we'll call security... and remember, fishing is NOT a crime. If you'd like to submit a funny review, email us at beachtoosandy@gmail.com with "Between You And Us" in the subject line! Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and typos. Lea...
Apr 08, 2019•27 min
In our quest to find the worst reviews, we may have found the worst one yet. As difficult as that was, we make it through. Next in our journey, we get lost in the Bermuda Triangle of Yelp pages, but we eventually find our way... For the sake of humanity we must continue. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Apr 03, 2019•53 min
This week, Lisa Lampanelli graces us with her voice... and a plea to our beautiful listeners. This is followed by plenty of tallywagging from Alex and hooting from Christine. And we cap it all off with the discovery of... ANTIMONTY! No garlic fries here, just misery and displeasure. Enjoy! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, and tyops. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm...
Mar 27, 2019•46 min
In this week's episode, we take on communism, mary-juana, and the feminist agenda. It's truly an episode for the ages. But don't worry, we bleep out the worst of it. Thankfully, the world still gets to hear about Alex's first (and last) Hooters experience. Come along for the experience of a lifetime, and spread the word using #octothorpe. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, and tyops. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Le...
Mar 20, 2019•42 min
If you ever want to blackmail us with fake audio pulled from various sound bites, boy do we have the episode for you! We provide you with amazing quotes such as "I'm going to flip my shit and burn down this place," and "I typed out the word 'sex' a lot today." And by we, we mean Christine. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by abett, PSOVOD, and tyops. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megap...
Mar 13, 2019•50 min
The voices of a generation reading reviews sent in by fans of a generation. That's right, we're back and we're engaging in civil dialogue. We're reading what YOU want us to read. Instead of spending your hard earned money on over priced cold dessert coffee thing, why not just listen to a free radio show? Btw, we're not armed and we're wearing our "Make America Emo" hats again. Thanks for inserting us into your ears! Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet...
Mar 11, 2019•23 min
RudeJuggalo, WeedLMFAO, alxdude9, and imalwayzcrazy444. Which ones are our old AIM accounts and which are new? You have to listen to find out! This week we travel to Indianapolis to visit some of our best friends, including Air Bud, the Indiana Sniffer, Sonic the Hedgehog, and SpongeBob. We're still trying to connect the dots... Grab your accordions, your Faygo, and please keep your septum piercings in your septum! Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet ...
Mar 06, 2019•49 min
Hooded figures, dead bodies, and squirt machines. Or, your average Beach Too Sandy episode. If you think this episode stinks, watch out for our next collab: Corpse-be-Gucci. This episode is ideal for morgues, autopsy rooms, body bags, etc. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by Myuu, PSOVOD, sirkoto51, jgreer, and tyops. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Feb 27, 2019•40 min
Hear ye hear ye! Green grocers and proprietors alike! We have an episode that will surely challenge your views and give you a bad case of the sweats. Gather yourself below one of the Brooklyn Bridges, open up to page 1 of Christine's Teen Zine, and pour out a cup of our child's water. Just be sure to leave your 2 year olds behind. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Feb 20, 2019•50 min
In this week's episode, the gang announces their next venture (unfortunately it's not a liquor store in Louisville, KY). Please wish us luck on our imminent future as born again Belgians, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, plasterbrain and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Feb 13, 2019•35 min
In the first edition of our monthly Between You And Us episodes, we read reviews of your most suggested item. This episode is an exploration of the human body and its limits. You will learn so much from this episode, but you won't want to remember any of it. But you should already know what you're getting yourself into... Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Feb 11, 2019•16 min
WARNING! Do not let your ladies listen to this show. We will steal them from you. In episode 11 we go back to our roots: Vegas strip clubs. More specifically, the Chippendales show which helped launch the idea for this podcast. Now’s your chance to hear a brother and sister relive the moment where they were forever scarred. If you like what you hear, hop on the nearest FedEx truck - we’ll meet you “at spa”! Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Learn mo...
Feb 06, 2019•36 min
Welcome to episode 10 of the podcast where a couple of poorly dressed jobsworths read awful reviews. This very special episode is full of big announcements and big egos. We even answer the age old question: Which has more museums, Boise or New York City? We also discover the world of people who get excited by squirrels, making this our most wholesome episode yet. But don't get too excited, because we're still being described as "what muppets would sound like on crack." Buy our merch! https://sto...
Jan 30, 2019•46 min
What's the difference between Waffle House and your friendly neighborhood orgy? According to this week's reviews, possibly nothing. Whichever one you're going to, be sure to watch out for pink eye! "SIGNED ALEX AND CHRISTINE!" Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by jgreer, PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Jan 23, 2019•31 min
Psst... yeah you... ever heard of... Presbyterianism? Then do we have the episode for you. We explore Denver for the worst reviews of dentists. Then we spread the good word of Ouija board reviewers. Take a break from your job as a bad teeth model and enjoy the sweet sugar voices from the unflossed mouths of Christine and Alex. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by jgreer, PSOVOD and tyops. Learn m...
Jan 16, 2019•39 min
Buckle up, folks, because things are about to get "unsettling." Tune in to hear bridal store reviews from angry brides-to-be in Houston...and their dolls. Meanwhile, Alex introduces a couple toy-loving adults and expresses his own desire for a talking bird robot. Thinking of giving us negative 5000 stars? Big mistake...HUGE! Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by Robinhood76, zagi2, qubodup, jgreer...
Jan 09, 2019•27 min
Lost the instruction manual for your new pet bird? You’ve come to the right place! This week we read pet store reviews in Salt Lake City before trailBLAZing down an uncomfortable path of sci-fi erotic fiction…kindle edition. Tune in for bad snake advice, gladiator music and, as always, plenty of disgruntled customers. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Jan 02, 2019•33 min
