Shift Happens.

their o shit moment was committing to the Buddha. Somebody might have issue with the somebody spoke up and had issue or something discomfort arose around committing to the idea of ta completely committing and taking refuge in the Dharma and someone might have uh discomfort to taking refuge in the Sangha and that comp I completely related to that because talking about committing to the Buddha

uh my old fundamentalist Christian layers that are still in here somewhere were like, what the fuck are you doing? Like Um I'm I'm breaking vow with the Christian God that

Whew, that was challenging. However, talking about the Dharma, um he had used uh the four reminder softened me um because I can commit to the four reminders this is a a way to self-reflect I love to self-reflect that doing my investigation just as Buddha has taught us through our own investigation, go and see if this shit works. I can push past. Or push through the hard part.

Yeah, I have in fact picked this method of approach because it is through my own investigation as Buddha has suggested I do, like I'm gonna cry. That it is working.

And that the four reminders is the preciousness of being free already here. Uh to receive the Dharma. I have taken human form as this experience. and now to do something meaningful and go forward. that um death that um Is unavoidable and permanence is unavoidable. That through desperation to try to avoid death and try to create permanence. I had often made poor choices by being present with impermanence and just doing it.

I I had a a sense that I'm almost creating a I can create a more intimate experience by also including impermanence in my experience and I have mem like right now I'm going through I'm going through the um impermanence of a relationship. And f flashing back on our very first conversations, we had already had felt this is gonna hurt when this ends. So Um wow, through this even knowing this

It's like I can let go of this tightness, this stranglehold on I don't want the the relationship to end. I can by relaxing into Impermanence. Like I could breathe through this pain that I am witnessing. Um that the reminder here that death is the motivator, death is the reminder, and death is my companion. Uh I don't get out of any of this alive.

Um third reminder is the Reality of karma, virtuous actions that my actions have results. Um what I put energy into is the energy I'm getting out. So if I'm causing confusion to myself and or to others then I'm creating a confusing world, a confused world. However, um creating positive merit if

By holding clarity, by being absolutely clear with self and with other, I am creating a clearer much clearer world. Um I will examine myself-reflect, self-reflection, use meditation to stabilize my mind and my emotions. that emotions are energy and motion and not a guide and not a best guide to react. Um, I like to think of emotions as The beautiful colors in this kaleidoscope of life.

Mm what can I do? What karma am I giving out? Is also part of the third reminder about the reality of karma and fourth is about suffering. Shift happens. um suffering uh see the change of the three the the the not getting getting what I don't want and losing what I do have. That's um I'm going to suffer in the regular Physical suffering just of life, the physical body is going to break down and has broken down. Um and I love that

Oh, and it's part of giving up attachment. Um so suffering and I've within the past year done a lot of listening to Ram Das and We can't avoid suffering. I hear a lot of others who talk about Buddhism. It's if you don't have attachment, lose attachment and you're gonna lose I you are better able to lose suffering and I don't I don't find that to be true, I think that

Just being human, I'm gonna have attachments. I'm gonna have suffering and through Ram Das's um talks I have learned he has said Suffering is unavoidable then what the worst thing we can do with our suffering is get attached to the suffering.

by adding and creating more stories. So for example, I'm experiencing witnessing pain because I am losing a relationship or even the idea of this relationship and what I could make More difficult for myself is getting stuck in that pain and attaching to the story of that suffering. to the story of this loss. Oh, I'm never gonna have this experience with this person. I'm never gonna do this again with this person.

Spiraling into that is going to create more suffering and certainly it I'm just attaching myself to the suffering of this loss. Um and on that by adding I'm not being in the suffering of losing this relationship. If I'm going into fantasy and creating more attachment, more story to that. Whereas um like Bruce Tiff's book Already Free Yeah, it's almost it's almost avoiding. I'm caught up with ego a little bit. by getting so attached, adding to my suffering It's a weird

sense of control almost. And I'm avoiding just being with the pain. I'm avoiding meeting myself with compassion and yeah that Person I had been involved with for years. I'm no longer talking to daily or every other day. I'm no longer meeting with weekly and that hurts. I'm experiencing hurt. Like that feels softer, just being there. Just being with me in that hurdle.

rather than going to rumination and fantasy like I'm missing out, I'm never gonna feel their presence again, I'm never gonna hear their voice again. That feels like stuck in a a made up place that feels cold, whereas Just going, yeah, shift shift happens and this sucks. I'm I'm going yeah, I'm going to miss that person. That is pain. And then just be there. Not add to it. It

It really does feel like a softer place that I'm at. Um And finally, with ego intact, there is no guarantee of enlightenment. And none of this, there isn't a guarantee. I'm just taking this path. These are tools in my backpack, part of my backpack, my walking stick, I'm on this path. Um And the other thing about is that the fourth? I will not use family, friends, wealth. I'm not going to uh create kingdom.

to shelter my pain as a way of avoidance. And that is That is super meaningful to me because there has been lots of moments where I felt cheated that I don't have a tribe to lean on. and to help me, whereas I sense that in times like this I would almost be using them and using that as a way of avoiding this pain that I'm experiencing. Which is This relationship that I've had with this person for six years is changed in a way that It might be gone forever. I don't know.

And I can certainly see how if I had a tribe to lean on, I would. unintentionally, maybe even intentionally lean on them as a way of avoiding just being in this space. And that like That like I feel that's true. That feels kinder and okay and I'm going to be okay. Um and I guess the third class um we talk about the Sangha taking refuge in But as a reminder to not Use that shelter as a way of avoiding. Pain. So I'm super excited about this.

This path and the three gems or is it the three jewels? I don't know. And um the ceremony that will happen next month. And I'd even thought of like if there is reincarnation, what what I'm doing here now for the next life, um, helping so much. I'm and regardless, I'm helping so much right now with in this life taking Um this was just notes, however, I think I'm gonna chair I don't know, so well thanks for being here and take a look. Oh my god! I don't know what just happened. Holy f