S4E17: Falcon Manifesto Psst Hey kid, you an elbow vegan? Well don't worry any longer, because starting today, we have a solution for you! It's BeyondWenus. Tastes just like real wenus, but made entirely from discarded Baywatch plot points Morgan's Rating: 4 Michael's Rating: 4 Episode discussion starts @14:06. Post-episode discussion starts @01:14:38. Assorted show notes: @06:32 Michael forgot he made a movie in college too. That brings the count up to 4. @12:55 A Geocities interview with Jacqu...
Aug 10, 2022•1 hr 33 min•Season 4Ep. 17
S4E16: Mirror, Mirror Well I suppose it's time we finally tell you. Michael and Morgan are actually the same person. In case you haven't figured it out, Morgan is obviously the horny twin and Michael is the research twin. Eric's Rating: 6 Morgan's Rating: 7 Michael's Rating: 7 Episode discussion starts @24:13. Post-episode discussion starts @01:28:11. Assorted show notes: @48:09 A reminder of what the octopus looked like @01:34:52 The Oreo burger @01:35:22 The banana pizza @01:36:01 Eric says th...
Jul 27, 2022•1 hr 49 min•Season 4Ep. 16
S4E15: Coronado del Soul Part 2 If there's horny ghosts, in your neighborhood. Who you gonna call? Baywatchers! Parker's Rating: 1.5 Morgan's Rating: 2 Michael's Rating: 2 Episode discussion starts @06:47. Post-episode discussion starts @01:09:56. Assorted show notes: @01:17:03 The tweet in question @01:17:25 The recorded follow-up to that tweet Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose ....
Jul 20, 2022•1 hr 25 min•Season 4Ep. 15
S4E14: Coronado del Soul Pt. 1 Beef boys! Exciting news! We're hosting our first Baywatch Rookie School Con at the Coronado del Soul. In order to register, you just need to become a ghost and buy tickets from the spooooooky gift shop. Don't worry, this gift shop does have an exit Parker's Rating: 4 Morgan's Rating: 5 Michael's Rating: 6 Episode discussion starts @27:11. Post-episode discussion starts @01:36:04. Assorted show notes: @49:53 Said montage . @50:51 Here is the debut . As well, here i...
Jul 13, 2022•1 hr 47 min•Season 4Ep. 14
S4E13: Red Knight It's the end of Ben! We are not sad to see him go, even if this is a particularly bad sign off. Come and join us on the beach for a reunion of the Red Knights (or more like the Red Tights amirite???). Also Morgan finally gets a Godfather. Morgan's Rating: 5 Michael's Rating: 2.5 Episode discussion starts @22:49. Post-episode discussion starts @01:15:40. Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose .
Jul 06, 2022•1 hr 29 min•Season 4Ep. 13
S4E12: Second Time Around We're back! Morgan's back from vacation, so we're recording the episodes we don't have any guests for. Baywatch is hitting it's stride in Season 4, which means they've stopped writing interesting episodes and are just recycling their formulas Morgan's Rating: 3 Michael's Rating: 4 Episode discussion starts @18:39. Post-episode discussion starts @01:15:18. Assorted show notes: @22:55 Hasslehoff Devouring His Cheeseburger by Goya @23:48 Stills from Baywatch the Animated S...
Jun 29, 2022•1 hr 17 min•Season 4Ep. 12
S4E11: The Child Inside It's time for a Very Special Episode starring a young Republican gymnast. Baywatch doesn't completely bungle depicting the Special Olympics, so that's nice. They didn't do a good job, but it's not as bad as we feared Jon's Rating: 9 Michael's Rating: 7 Morgan's Rating: 3 Check out Jon's portfolio at: https://kawaiiguy.com/ and watch their Twitch streams at: https://www.twitch.tv/kawaiiguy . Episode discussion starts @29:49. Post-episode discussion starts @01:32:23. Assort...
Jun 22, 2022•1 hr 48 min•Season 4Ep. 11
S4E10: Tower of Power Baywatch is back on it's racist shit, so that's fun. Homecoming is also back, that's actually fun! We talk about graffiti and introduce a new segment, our Pier Review Homecoming's Rating: 0.5 Michael's Rating: 1 Morgan's Rating: 1.5 Episode discussion begins @22:34. Post-episode discussion begins @01:56:41. Assorted Show Notes: @01:05:37 The album Michael is referring to . Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose ....
Jun 15, 2022•2 hr 8 min•Season 4Ep. 10
S4E9: Ironman Buchannon In a shockingly horny episode of the podcast, we spend far too much time (and also not nearly enough time) talking about old Nickelodeon Game Shows. #ReleaseTheSnyderCutOfBaywatch #PleaseDontActuallyDoThat #IDontWantSynderFansOnMyCase #NumberOneCheerWorthyMoment. Michael is drunk this episode. Please ignore how while he is drunk, he pounds the table a lot. Or just accept it. We're not your dad. Tristan's Rating: 3 Michael's Rating: 6 Morgan's Rating: 4 Episode discussion ...
Jun 08, 2022•1 hr 56 min•Season 4Ep. 9
S4E8: Submersion. CW: Talk of child death. Well, this is a heavy one, so it's a little hard to write a good joke description. Mitch deals with PTSD after almost failing to save a kid and we try to find ways to talk about it while making the show still listenable. How did we do? You tell us Morgan's Rating: 7 Michael's Rating: 8 Episode discussion starts @21:58. Post-episode discussion starts @01:13:09. Assorted Show Notes: @01:22:35 Picture Michael is referring to about Sweden Art by Katie Rose ...
Jun 01, 2022•1 hr 28 min•Season 4Ep. 8
S4E7: Tentacles Pt. 2 Well in theory this is a part 2, but let's be honest. It's not. The only thing that connects these episodes is the return of Helen! You gotta know when to Holden, you gotta know when to float 'em (the answer is don't float them because that's how you get the bends) Helen's Rating: 4 Michael's Rating: 5 Michael's Racoon Rating: 1 Morgan's Rating: 4 Find Helen at the Falling in Love Montage Podcast Helen's Twitter: @helenherbstl Episode discussion starts @12:10. Post-episode ...
May 21, 2022•1 hr 31 min•Season 4Ep. 7
S4E6: Tentacles Pt. 1 CW: ED/bulimia discussion Remember kids, never get a Goku cake, never get someone a book for their birthday, never go surfing without a leash, and definitely never try to cure your bulimia by almost getting eaten by an octopus. Why doesn't Star Wars have octopus aliens? 8 arms 8 lightsabers George Lucas call us. Helen's Rating: 5 Morgan's Rating: 6 Michael's Rating: 6 Find Helen at the Falling in Love Montage Podcast Helen's Twitter: @helenherbstl Episode discussion begins ...
May 12, 2022•1 hr 37 min•Season 4Ep. 6
S4E5: Sky Rider This episode is just so full of hot air. Hot air balloons that is! Well, just one balloon, but it's in here like a lot. Sparkle's Rating: 5 Michael's Rating: 5 Morgan's Rating: 6 Episode discussion starts @16:25. Post-episode discussion starts @01:47:00. Assorted show notes: @54:45 Telly Savalas beach photos 1 , 2 , and 3 @01:35:45 Bill Pickett picture @01:43:24 VENGEANCE THE SHARK @01:51:28 The Nathan Fielder related tweet Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose ....
Apr 28, 2022•1 hr 58 min•Season 4Ep. 5
S4E4: Blindside Oops all Pelicans. Have you pet a pelican recently? Some of them are cops and we don't endorse those birds. Fuck those birds. Like Zeus would. Reeves's Rating: 1.5 Michael's Rating: 4 Morgan's Rating: 4 Please check out Reeves at KEXP.org ! Episode discussions starts @33:06. Post-episode discussion starts @01:57:18. Assorted show notes: @16:44 Pictures of Giant Gonzalez's suit, #1 and #2 @23:14 Dave Meltzer's horrifying room @33:35 Michael forgot to record it but luckily he prett...
Apr 20, 2022•2 hr 18 min•Season 4Ep. 4
S4E3: Lover's Cove In this very special episode, Michael and Morgan have been taken out of commission by a purple jellyfish, so we have to bring in some help to continue on with our mission. Stay tuned for our upcoming Disney+ Deal. Robert's rating: 6 Valerie's rating: 2 Jami's rating: 6 Episode discussion starts @7:22. Post-episode discussion starts @36:01. Assorted show notes: @00:51 We're being held against our will. Send help @12:40 This scene is reused from season 2 episode 11 "If Looks Cou...
Apr 01, 2022•45 min•Season 4Ep. 3
S4E2: Race Against Time Part 2 Baywatch is the Koo-Koo-Kookiest Baywatch is the Ki-Ki-Kickiest Baywatch is the Groo-Groo-Grooviest Baywatch is the living end, friend Join our watch along of Lidsville episode 1 here ! Morgan's Rating: 2 Michael's Rating: 2 Morgan's Lidsville Rating: 9 Michael's Lidsville Rating: 9 Episode discussion starts @03:14. Post-episode discussion starts @29:57. Lidsville episode discussion starts @46:06. Post-Lidsville discussion starts @01:13:34. Art by Katie Rose @kilog...
Mar 23, 2022•1 hr 21 min•Season 4Ep. 2
S4E1: Race Against Time Part 1. Welcome to season 4! Can you believe it? We can't. It's a part one, which famously has always gone very well on Baywatch. Morgan's Rating: 6.5 Michael's Rating: 7 Episode discussion starts @21:00. Post-episode discussion starts @01:28:52. Assorted show notes: @59:39 Iconic Thomas brand English Muffins @01:00:33 KAPSALON @01:16:32 Andrew said it checks out @01:35:02 You'll have to see the tweet to truly appreciate it Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose ....
Mar 16, 2022•1 hr 42 min•Season 4Ep. 1
S3E22: Fatal Exchange. Can you believe it? We've finished season 3! Overall, it's been a season of ups and downs, but at least it's not season 2. The blood feud has escalated, Morgan's mom, you're on watch 👀 We both recommend that you watch Pam and Tommy if you like our podcast and want more info about Pam Anderson. Also if you don't like our podcast, why have you listened this far? Morgan's Rating: 5 Michael's Rating: 5 Episode discussion starts @15:54. Post-episode discussion starts @01:28:26...
Mar 09, 2022•1 hr 44 min•Season 3Ep. 22
S3E21: Kicks. Join us for a history lesson on wrestling and jello. Gene LaBell is here to save us from being stuck in Gene LaHell. The saga of Pilates continues, as we can never escape this curse. Paul's Rating: 8 Michael's Rating: 8 Morgan's Rating: 4 Episode discussion starts @24:31. Post-episode discussion starts @01:30:34. Assorted show notes: @22:41 If you like hearing about the history of mixed martial arts, this video by Secret Base is a fantastic watch @46:45 We forgot to mention that Pa...
Mar 03, 2022•1 hr 49 min•Season 3Ep. 21
S3E20: Shattered Pt. 2. It's part 2! And once again we have brought back our guest from episode 1. Just like part 1, part 2 is bad. Join us for an exploration of the GCU (Grandpa Cinematic Universe) and discuss if we prefer our grandpas Dirty, Bad, or Warred On. This is a Milpo Sclint stan podcast #JusticeForMilpo. Reeves' Rating: 11/3 Michael's Rating: 8/3 Morgan's Rating: 4 See Reeves' KEXP profile, along with his socials, here ! Episode discussion starts @12:11. Post-episode discussion starts...
Feb 23, 2022•2 hr 14 min•Season 3Ep. 20
S3E19: Shattered Pt. 1. In which we discuss the appropriate amount of ham for a lifeguard for our least kosher episode yet. Also lots of wrestling talk, we're sorry. Reeves' Rating: 2 Michael's Rating: 3 Morgan's Rating: 3 Episode discussion starts @35:06. Post-episode discussion starts @2:09:12. Assorted Show Notes: @01:15:56 Here is the picture of the senior home and the belly dancer @01:16:28 Morgan's horrifying picture @01:17:05 The terrifying hallway Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose ....
Feb 19, 2022•2 hr 23 min•Season 3Ep. 19
S3E18: Stakeout at Surfrider Beach. On this episode we ask the all important question, who directs the directors? Join us for our sendoff of Guido. We will never forget the iduido of you. As well, we disprove a previous statement made on this podcast that there "is no Baywatch hentai". Jon found it for us. Morgan's Rating: 7 Michael's Rating: 7 Jon's Rating: 8 Check out Jon's portfolio at: https://kawaiiguy.com/ and watch their Twitch streams at: https://www.twitch.tv/kawaiiguy . Episode discuss...
Feb 09, 2022•2 hr 4 min•Season 3Ep. 18
S3E17: The Tower. This is the buried secret of Baywatch. In our most M. Night Shyamalan episode, we talk about the right amount of ham for a Baywatch episode. Did you know how many surf terms could be a euphemism for sex? We try to figure out the answer to this age old question. Who guards the lifeguard's life when the lifguard's life needs guarding? Hmmm? Morgan's Rating: 9 Michael's Rating: 3 Episode discussion starts @06:54. Post-episode discussion starts @59:23. Assorted show notes: @37:16 T...
Feb 02, 2022•1 hr 13 min•Season 3Ep. 17
S3E16: Vacation Part 2 We're back! It's our first time having a guest return for part 2 and it's a delight. We talk about the dangers of gambling and how badly the 90s handled the concept of addiction. Also if anyone has a hookup on a thermos of Sweet and Sour sauce, tweet at us Episode discussion starts at 20:00 Post episode discussion starts at 1:22:10 Val: 8 Morgan: 2 Michael: 3.5 Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose ....
Jan 26, 2022•1 hr 39 min•Season 3Ep. 16
S3E15: Vacation Part 1. This is a real Sophie's Choice of an episode. Watch more montages or spend less time watching this episode? Norwegian Cruises sponsored a two-part-er and let me tell you, this is no pleasure cruise Valerie's Rating: 7 Michael's Rating: 3 Morgan's Rating: 3 Episode discussion starts @30:01. Post-episode discussion starts @ 01:40:07. Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose .
Jan 19, 2022•1 hr 57 min•Season 3Ep. 15
S3E14: Strangers Among Us. This episode rocks, Rock's Hudson that is. If you're listening to this episode, you've got some real strange bedfellows. Unfortunately we are not cut out to be diamond thieves, but at least we have this podcast. If you want to see Michael's attempt at flipping text, click here https://prnt.sc/26cbl5g Morgan's Rating: 4 Michael's Rating: 5 Episode discussion starts @11:13. Post-episode discussion starts @19:57. Assorted show notes: @02:55 The first ugly Christmas sweate...
Jan 12, 2022•1 hr 31 min•Season 3Ep. 14
S3E13: Island of Romance. It's a back-to-back record so we are on one this episode. Some real season 2 racism in this one, but at least we discover that Baywatch is Feminist Actually. This episode was so bad. Morgan's Rating: 1 Michael's Rating: 1 Episode discussion starts @11:59. Post-episode discussion starts @54:38. Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose .
Jan 05, 2022•1 hr 13 min•Season 3Ep. 13
S3E12: A Matter of Life and Death. Hot take, Baywatch is better than Doctor Who. David Hasselhoff, you're on notice. Start streaming Fortnite!! This one has some secret content, so listen carefully. Episode discussion begins @9:58 Episode discussion ends @1:11:13 Morgan's Rating: 8 Michael's Rating: 8 Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose .
Dec 29, 2021•1 hr 24 min•Season 3Ep. 12
S3E11: Dead of Summer. Life Pro Tip: Grunge voice hurts your throat if you aren't singing it correctly. Please join us as we discuss punctuation in band names, nu metal, and just generally avoid talking about the episode. Morgan's Rating: 6 Michael's Rating: 4 Episode discussion starts @14:27. Post-episode discussion starts @01:09:44. Assorted show notes: @13:50 Here is the poster for Return of the Roller Blade Seven . Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose ....
Dec 22, 2021•1 hr 25 min•Season 3Ep. 11
S3 E10: Lifeguards Can't Jump. Baywatch. Basketball. ARGs. What do these all have in common? Better listen to the episode to find out! We're bringing you the premium 90s nightclub experience this episode. Loud music, plastic ferns, and combination fast food restaurants. Morgan's Rating: 2 Michael's Rating: 2 Episode discussions starts @10:36. Post-episode discussion starts @01:20:25. Assorted show notes: @1:03:50 This video covers the entire history of The Slipnutz . Art by Katie Rose @kilogramr...
Dec 15, 2021•1 hr 39 min•Season 3Ep. 10
