Send us a text Do you find yourself in constant power struggles with your kids? Do you feel like your kids too often set the terms of their cooperation? Or are you worried that you are too hard and demanding on them? Well today I talk with Wendy Snyder, a positive parenting coach, as we get into the nitty gritty of how to find that balance between being authoritarian and overly permissive. Cut the drama, cut the power struggles, and learn how to thrive as a family! SIGN UP for our FREE Parenting...
Nov 14, 2024•1 hr 8 min•Season 8Ep. 259
Send us a text Why are writers for The Gospel Coalition coming after the dad in the cartoon series Bluey? He’s an involved dad who loves his kids. Why are they so offended? Rick Pidcock joins Rebecca and Connor Lindenbach for a deep dive—and then Rebecca and Connor talk more about our anemic view of fatherhood. TO SUPPORT US Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation A...
Nov 07, 2024•58 min•Season 8Ep. 258
Send us a text Christa Brown was sexually assaulted dozens of times by her youth pastor when she was 15. She was made to repent and apologize to his wife. The pastor just got moved around from church to church for decades. When Christa’s daughter reached the same age Christa was when she was assaulted, she went public—and started the movement to push the SBC towards accountability for the sexual abuse crisis in their midst. She’s written a memoir called BaptistLand, and today we talk about Chris...
Oct 31, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Season 8Ep. 257
Send us a text Talking to your kids about sex & puberty is awkward! And over the years the church has made some big mistakes. Today we talk about how to avoid the biggest ones--and some encouragement for how to do this with as little awkwardness as possible. OUR SEX AND PUBERTY COURSE: Check out our revamped version of The Whole Story--our sex and puberty course for parents to share with kids. It's video-based, and it makes covering all the info much easier. It's on sale until Monday, Octobe...
Oct 24, 2024•1 hr 1 min•Season 8Ep. 256
Send us a text We aren’t going to fix the abuse crisis in the church until we deal with the underlying beliefs that actually enable abuse. Today Kristin Kobes Du Mez joins us to talk about her new documentary For Our Daughters, which shows how beliefs about gender, power and politics that are rampant in the church actually contribute to abuse. And Pastor Trey Ferguson joins us to comment on a recent article he wrote explaining how evangelicalism’s views of sex, which ignore intimacy, contribute ...
Oct 17, 2024•1 hr 12 min•Season 8Ep. 255
Send us a text We know purity culture hurt so many of us. But how do we actually move on and recover from purity culture? Today Dr. Camden Morgante joins us to look at the 5 myths of purity culture, and how to heal and get to the other side! OUR FREE WEBINAR! Join Rebecca and me as we host Camden for a FREE webinar looking more into these myths, where we find them, and where we go from here! It'll be a super fun hour with some prizes, games, and lots of inside scoop! Monday, October 14, 8 pm EST...
Oct 10, 2024•1 hr•Season 8Ep. 254
Send us a text Ever heard the stat from “a recent study” that found that, when a husband comes to Christ first, in 93% of cases the wife and kids follow, but when the wife comes to Christ first, it’s only 17%? Today Beth Allison Barr and Miranda Zapor Cruz, both academics looking into gender relations in church, join me to try to track down the source. Spoiler alert: People seem to have made this up about 30 years ago—and they keep quoting it! We look at what happens when churches assume this st...
Oct 03, 2024•58 min•Season 8Ep. 253
Send us a text We're all about healthy advice for marriage and sex. But what if evangelical teachings around parenting have also been messed up? And how can we parent in a healthy way? David and Amanda Erickson join us to talk about their new book The Flourishing Family, based on Scripture, brain science, attachment theory, and more. THIS is how we should parent! OUR SPONSOR Ever, AJ : Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases . These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditi...
Sep 26, 2024•1 hr 24 min•Season 8Ep. 252
Send us a text The evangelical world has an orgasm gap of 47 points between husbands and wives. Only 48% of women orgasm almost always or always, and 33% orgasm never or rarely. The good news is that if you're in that 33%--you can still get to the 48%! Today Rebecca and I look back at all the other episodes we've talked about orgasms, and have a great time discussing how we can learn to help couples prioritize her pleasure! THE ORGASM COURSE It's on sale until Monday, September 23 at midnight! W...
Sep 19, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Season 8Ep. 251
Send us a text We know it’s not all men who are predators. But it’s far too many. And a recent horrible court case in France is reminding women all over the world that far too many men are willing and eager to do the unthinkable. The only way to tell who is safe is to look at their words and their actions. And the words of far too many evangelical leaders and authors and pastors are straight up rape culture. After what happened to Gisele Pelicot, I’m not willing to put up with it anymore. No mor...
Sep 12, 2024•56 min•Season 8Ep. 250
Send us a text It’s a complete therapy session—in one book and one podcast! Dr. Merry Lin joins us to explain why we so often feel stuck—and how to move forward. If you’ve been confused by terms like trauma, attachment theory, the Stone Age brain, and more, Dr. Merry Lin joins us for a primer that can help us get unstuck—and rebecome who we were meant to be! TO SUPPORT US Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit...
Sep 05, 2024•57 min•Season 8Ep. 249
Send us a text What does it look like to actually grow like Christ? Like, not from a sermon, or not from some lofty retreat, but just in the here and now? Can we actually grow “holier”? A beautiful conversation with Karen Stiller, author of the book Holiness Here. We tackle envy, joy, contentment—and even grief, as she shares about processing the death of her husband. TO SUPPORT US Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support ...
Aug 29, 2024•1 hr 1 min•Season 8Ep. 248
Send us a text Sheila and Rebecca are answering your questions today! We covered how to find a new church when you feel like church has let you down; how to start your sex life well; what to do when people don’t think purity culture was harmful; and so much more! And we throw data and nuance into the mix too. HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING! Please follow OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGE If you see a Facebook page called Endlessly Stories with weird images—that is our old page. Please report it! OUR SPONSOR ...
Aug 22, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Season 8Ep. 247
Send us a text What if you discovered that marriage books like The Excellent Wife actually follows Steve Hassan's BITE model of cult indoctrination? And what if these marriage books were giving advice that mirrored coercive control? Bare Marriage podcast, episode 246, featuring Bethany Jantzi. Bethany did her thesis on coercive control, and today she shows us how these books use methods like: diminishing/devaluing personhood; undermining autonomy; creating psychological dependency; using a fear-...
Aug 15, 2024•1 hr 10 min•Season 8Ep. 246
Send us a text The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace sells like hotcakes in biblical counseling/ fundamentalist/ homeschooling circles, and even though it seems like a “fringe” book, it’s affecting tens of thousands of women. Today Marissa Burt and Tia Levings and I sit down to talk about the problems with this book that tells women they must obey their husbands and submit—no matter what. Our Sponsor: It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkid...
Aug 08, 2024•1 hr 28 min•Season 8Ep. 245
Send us a text She went to a flagship SBC church. She wasn’t supposed to get sucked into fundamentalism. But Tia ended up being stuck in an abusive marriage, trying to fix things by following advice from Gothard and more. It made her sick. It made her hopeless. But finally she realized, no one else is going to rescue us. I have to do this for me and the kids. And she did. Her story is riveting, touching, and relevant. Listen to a Well-Trained Wife! Our Sponsor: It's the Bible that lets girls see...
Aug 01, 2024•1 hr 26 min•Season 8Ep. 244
Send us a text The evangelical church spends a lot of time giving modesty messages to girls. But we hardly ever talk about vanity--even though the Bible condemns it. Could it be that in all our talk about modesty, we're inadvertently promoting vanity? And perhaps we can't call out vanity, because our messages to boys essentially enable vanity. Join Rebecca and Sheila as we hash this one out! With thanks to our sponsor: If church was your place of deepest hurt, can you find peace and healing with...
Jul 25, 2024•57 min•Season 8Ep. 243
Send us a text Ever heard people say, "The Bible is crystal clear" or "if you don't believe that, you don't believe the Bible?" Quite often people equate their interpretation of the Bible with the Bible itself--with bad results. Today Scott Coley joins us to talk about his new book Ministers of Propaganda, and to look at how many evangelical leaders have used logical fallacies to keep themselves at the top of the power hierarchy. Plus let's look at how to get back to the way of Jesus! With thank...
Jul 18, 2024•1 hr•Season 8Ep. 242
Send us a text What if the church hurt you terribly? Can you still heal? Today Ryan George joins us to talk about how his fundamentalist family covers up his father’s sexual abuse of others—and how Ryan eventually learned the truth and turned his father in. And then Ryan deconstructed so much of what he had been taught—and found the real Jesus. Join us as Ryan George talks about his book Hurt and Healed by the Church. About Ryan's Book Ryan’s book Hurt and Healed by the Church Find all of Ryan's...
Jul 11, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Season 8Ep. 241
Send us a text What happens when your family gets sucked into fundamentalism, and your father insists on controlling your life, including who you will marry? You grow up under Christian patriarchy, and you experience serious emotional abuse. Today Cait West joins us to talk about her absolutely beautiful memoir Rift, about how and why she had to break free. Then Keith and I talk about why people are deconstructing, and why it’s so desperately important to listen to stories like Cait’s. About Cai...
Jul 04, 2024•1 hr 14 min•Season 8Ep. 240
Send us a text People who deconstruct are often accused of never believing in the first place, or of just wanting to sin. But those who deconstruct are often those who have been hurt the most by toxic teachings. Today Sarah McCammon joins us to talk about who are “ex-vangelicals”, and her own story of deconstruction. And then Keith and I talk about what it means to create a safe and just community that honors people’s fears, betrayals, and concerns. About Sarah McCammon: Find Sarah's book The Ex...
Jun 27, 2024•59 min•Season 8Ep. 239
Send us a text Why is a frequenty-used book in teen girls' Bible studies focusing on Satan and not Jesus? A deep dive into the book Lies Young Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Dannah Gresh. Let's see what is being taught to teen girls--and why it's so problematic. We can do better, church! Get our Downloadable One Sheet of the problems with the book Lies Young Women Believe: Thanks to our sponsor, the book The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman And listen to our interview with Sam a...
Jun 20, 2024•1 hr 41 min•Season 8Ep. 238
Send us a text Every Father’s Day, there’s a rallying cry in many conservative evangelical spaces that men are losing out and fathers are under attack. Where’s the truth in this? And what are the problems with talking about marriage like this? Plus we rewrite Harrison Butker’s commencement speech! Thanks to our sponsor, the book The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman And listen to our interview with Sam about the book ! To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our...
Jun 13, 2024•1 hr 8 min•Season 8Ep. 237
Send us a text What if purity culture didn’t just steal sexual health from women, but stole it from men too? What does it mean for a man to have healthy sexuality? Today licensed counselor Sam Jolman joins us for The Sex Talk You Never Got. To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation And check out our Merch , or any of our courses ! Things Mentioned in th...
Jun 06, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Season 8Ep. 236
Send us a text Evangelical conservatives too often portray masculinity as if men are supposed to be the “Alpha male”—aloof, emotionless, vying for control, and bullying. Today we look at how, even in nature, this concept of the Alpha Male has been overblown. And we present a better picture. To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation And check out our Mer...
May 02, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Season 7Ep. 235
Send us a text Church is messy. Friendships are hard to find. Life in a fishbowl is awkward. But what if…it’s worth it? Such a great convo with Stephanie, Jessica, and Jenna about their new book Pastors’ Wives Tell All! Whether you're a pastors' wife, or a female pastor yourself, living life in a fishbowl can be hard. We talk about parenting, marriage, and finding friends when you're in church ministry. Things mentioned in the Podcast: Pastors’ Wives Tell All: Pre-order Here Get Your Preorder Bo...
Apr 25, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Season 7Ep. 234
Send us a text With the release of so many books critiquing purity culture, what has the backlash been like? Well, let’s talk about it with Zachary Wagner, the author of Non-Toxic Masculinity as we celebrate the one-year anniversary of the launch of She Deserves Better . To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation And check out our Merch , or any of our c...
Apr 18, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Season 7Ep. 233
Send us a text We've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's telling her story--and it's a mesmerizing one--of what happened as her family got more and more into the Bill Gothard movement (and she was eventually one of the ones he allegedly abused, and was part of the lawsuit). But when you grow up feeling like your main role is to submit, are you even able to recognize abuse? Lauren tells her story of being in an abusive marriage, and how she even...
Apr 11, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Season 7Ep. 232
Send us a text When we talk about how God made sex to be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and how, if women don't want sex, the answer is to figure out why, we invariably get people saying, "so you think women don't have to have sex then?" Today on the podcast we look at the 90% problem vs. the 10% problem. In 90% of cases where women don't want sex, there's a reason. Let's focus mostly on the 90%! But guess what? We actually talk about the 10% too! Our Sponsor: The book Forgiveness A...
Apr 04, 2024•51 min•Season 7Ep. 231
Send us a text Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do." Sex was presented as something that HE has been waiting for his whole life, and that she has to provide. There was no emphasis on how she actually has greater need to be cared for sexually, if you're going to begin well, than he does. Jay Stringer joins us today to talk about how t...
Mar 28, 2024•57 min•Season 7Ep. 230
