Underwater Butt Breathin’ Undies - podcast episode cover

Underwater Butt Breathin’ Undies

Sep 24, 202455 min
--:--
--:--
Listen in podcast apps:

Episode description

Kurt and Scotty talk about how the scientists who discovered mammals can breathe through their butts receive Ig Nobel prize, a man buys $395k dream home knowing it will get swallowed by ocean, a Florida man arrested after throwing pasta with sauce during road rage incident and Delta is reminding flight prospective attendants that they must wear underwear to interviews!

Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/4a61tMk

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Scott Are you ready?

Speaker 2

Oh, I'm ready to laugh and laugh ed loaf.

Speaker 1

It's time to get back to basics for this podcast.

Speaker 2

Yeah, finally here it is.

Speaker 1

Okay, scientists who discovered mammals can breathe through their butts receiving no Belle Prize.

Speaker 2

Okay, we'll blow it out your ass. We're about to go wild on a brand new episode of Bananas the podcast. It's Bananas the podcast Don't World, Would you.

Speaker 1

Mind? Nozillion pieces? Would bananas?

Speaker 2

Bananas, Banana ba Bananas, Guys, Gallas, non Binary Palace.

Speaker 1

Welcome to yet another episode of Bananas. I am Kurt Brown.

Speaker 2

Older, I am Banana Boy number two Scottie Landis. Thank you for listening to the silliest little podcast there ever was. It is late September early October in the United States of America. A beautiful time in every state. It may be the prettiest time of year in North America, whether you're peeping leaves or experiencing unexpected diarrhea from drinking too much hot apple cider while picking apples. It's a beautiful time when we're glad to share it with you.

Speaker 1

I had not been prepared for that. I had no idea that if you make fresh apple cider out of a bunch of apples, good luck, and then chug it on the way home from your hour long car ride from the apple picking place, you'll shit your pants.

Speaker 2

I it's a known thing. I mean, it's a you don't want to get. You don't want to chug your first half hot apple cider of the season and then get on that two hour hay ride with the kids and a bunch of strangers. You just don't want to do it.

Speaker 1

We went this was during the pan pandemic, like this is probably September twenty twenty, and just going stir crazy in the house. Two kids, of course, just like not in preschool at all, like nothing, And we went apple picking, and of course southern California, it's one hundred and ten degrees, so why.

Speaker 2

Wouldn't it be Apples love that temperature.

Speaker 1

Apples love them. And we went apple picking in it is about an hour and a half long drive. And then we may and then Olive just sat there and crunched through apples, making two full gallons of apple cider, and then we just weach poured ourselves all like some big cups, and everybody drank it including olive. Olive is probably two years old at thirty pounds, right, yeah, thirty pounds. And then they're like on their way out there, like,

don't drink the apple cider until you get home. You should cut it with with water because otherwise you'll go to the bathroom.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

No, we have an hour long car right home. Luckily, Olive wears that was wearing a diaper at that time, so it was taken care of by the diaper. But we had to stop multiple times on the.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's not a great thing. Also, apple picking in general maybe the most overrated adult activity. Here's the thing.

Speaker 1

Agree.

Speaker 2

I love walking amongst the trees too. I love smelling apple trees. I like being on farms. I'll make a scarecrow with anyone anytime, anywhere.

Speaker 1

He's not kidding folks.

Speaker 2

Yeah, you bring me some old lee jeans and your dad's worst flannel shirt, all stuff at those nylons with straw and oh, I don't know, I like it. I like that. But something about paying the amount of money you pay, and the fanfare and the build up to just people getting so pumped to go upstate New York, go wherever and pick apples it's too expensive.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and you're and then you do farm work.

Speaker 2

Then you do farm work. I like apples, I will I like I like farms. I'm good for two apples a week. I can eat two apples a week any.

Speaker 1

Good day, on a good week, three apples a week. You're eving with twenty five to fifty five apples that you need to do something with.

Speaker 2

Yeah, you just get carried away. Uh, it is exciting when you're a city dweller, when you're a city slicker like Crittybye and I. It is nice to be out in the countryside, But man, I would just so much rather just walk out into the orchard and sit on the ground and hang out.

Speaker 1

When you're surrounded by that many apples, you start convincing yourself that you're going to do something with the apples. Like never, never have I made an apple pie in my whole life, But you put me at an apple farm. I'm starting to think about how many bags apples I need for how many pies I'm gonna make.

Speaker 2

It's a tradition. Maybe this is a very American thing. Maybe I don't. I would assume they do this in Europe too. We have similar climates. But you know, if you're around the world and you're in an international banannimal, let us know if apple picking in your fall season even exists, because it is a weird thing here where you feel pressured to go and just pick thirty apples per person so they can die in a bowl on your counter in the city that you live in. I did.

Speaker 1

I did after I went apple picking in twenty twenty. I did write a bit about it where I do. I was like, we should have other holidays or seasons where we go and do manual labor so that we more understand, like where our things come from.

Speaker 2

Bad idea.

Speaker 1

It's not a bad idea where it's like, uh oh, it's spring time for the annual work at Amazon for a day, bring your pea bottle.

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's right. I was doing research for the screenplay, and one of the best things about writing movies is when you do have to get accurate about things, so you get to do a little like you get to do a little surface research. Yeah, what do they do around the world. So I was looking up different traditions for New Year's Eves mm hm, and I was thinking about, how is it interesting to be at the equator on New Year's Eve? Like it, does it look different? Does

it feel different? Is it one hundred degrees? I just had never heard anybody talk about it, and even so I looked up one tradition in Ecuador and that we do have ecuador ben Animals, is they do this thing where you throw straw men onto a fire at the end of the year. And I'm like, boy, oh boy, does that not sound like the most fun thing to do on New Year's Eve? Maybe build a replica of yourself, toss it on the fire.

Speaker 1

Yeah, your old self, burning your old self away because it's January first, the arbitrary decision that a new self must be birthed.

Speaker 2

I know. And thankfully it rains a ton in La you know, over the winters. But it used to always be red flag and scary. But I'm like, wouldn't it be funny to like rent a house outside of the city and tell everybody they have to bring a straw replica of themselves and then you just start a bonfire and toss it on there. Guys.

Speaker 1

I love that idea.

Speaker 2

Good idea Ecuador. Good idea Ecuador. And if you've ever done it, and you're a beautiful Ecuadorian Bananamal. Let us know if I sounded like a crazy person because I just found it online, it might be false.

Speaker 1

Here we go, Yeah, let's do it. Scientists who discovered mammals can breathe through their anuses receiving Nobel Prize.

Speaker 2

As they should.

Speaker 3

This was a CNN dot Com CNN Science Kind of Real by Izzy Ronald Ooh funny, Izzy Ronald.

Speaker 2

If you have a boring first name, last name, you gotta throw an easy in front of it. Right.

Speaker 1

Oh, I love it? Is he? Ronald is great?

Speaker 2

He is Ronald?

Speaker 1

Is he best in the biz?

Speaker 2

Best in the business.

Speaker 1

The world still holds many unanswered questions, but thanks to the efforts of the research day a great beginning is he. Thanks to the efforts of the research teams awarded the Ignobel Prize on Thursday, some of these questions, which you might not even have thought existed, now have answers. We

now know that mammals can breathe through their anuses. There that there isn't an equal probability that a coin will land on heads or tails, that some real plants somehow imitate the shape of neighboring fake plastic plants, that fake medicine which causes painful side effects, can be more effective than fake medicine with outside effects, and that many of the people famous for reaching lofty old ages lived in

places that had bad record keeping. I love this. The awards, which have no affiliation with the Nobl Prizes, aim to quote celebrate the unusual, honor the imaginative, and spur people's interest in science, medicine and technology by making people laugh then think. In a two hour ceremony as quirky as

a scientific achievements it was celebrating. Audience members were welcome to their seats by accordion music before a safety briefing warned them not to sit on before a safety briefing warned them not to sit on anyone unless you're a child, not to feed, chase, or eat ducks, and to throw their paper airplanes safely. There were two paper airplane deluges during the ceremony which the audience attempted to throw their creation safely at a target in the middle of the stage.

That's a great idea. That's a great idea for an audience wonderful participation event because it looks probably awesome.

Speaker 2

And it feels even better and that's why I am obsessed with that sounds fun.

Speaker 1

M They so the people who found out that mammals can breathe through their butts, yeah, saying their paper that this potentially offers an alternative way of getting oxygen into critically ill patients ventilator and artificial lungs supplies run low like they did during the COVID nineteen pandemic. That's interesting. American psychologist BF Skinner was posthumously awarded the Peace Prize for his work attempting to use pigeons to guide the flight path of missiles.

Speaker 2

Yeah yeah, what.

Speaker 1

While a European wide research team was awarded the Probability Prize for conducting three hundred and fifty seven hundred and fifty seven experiments to demonstrate that a coin tends to land on the same side it started when it is flipped, which we did here on bananas.

Speaker 2

This is fantastic. This is the kind of research we need to know about. I wish I could snorkel without needing a snorkel. I wish I could just keep my butt above the surface and just explore the deep seas and shallow oceans, but.

Speaker 1

Butt down head. But that's how you want to be buried. You could still breathe that way.

Speaker 2

I know, you could put a little you could put a slide whistle in my dairy air. There's all kinds of things you could do. I I once had a conversation with a drunk woman in Arkansas.

Speaker 1

Oh boy, this is the beginning of a good story.

Speaker 2

Well it's a medium good story because it's somebody else's story. But I was present for it. And so if you're an Arkansas bananimal, there used to be you said, b F skinner, And there used to be like.

Speaker 1

This best friend skinner, best friend skinner.

Speaker 2

Yeah, best friend skinner, binner, thinner, skinner. The got into behaviorism, which I wrote a little paper on. But this drunk woman at a bar in Fort Smith, I believe, on a road trip, was like, you know, when we were kids they had raccoons that could dunk basketballs at a zoo And I go really, and she goes yeah. And then I said, well, what happened to it? And she goes, oh, they had more than that. They had. They would play the Titanic song and ducklings would jump off of a

little boat into a little pond. Yes, And I'm like, what is going on? And she said that she just kept telling me all these things that when she was a kid growing up there, I think in the nineties, maybe in the eighties, she said, there was a zoo that was about training animals to do insane things, and they had a raccoon that would come out to the NBA's theme song and would slam dunk a basketball I don't know, a mini hoop, and then all you did all day was go from exhibit to exhibit of animals

doing strange human behavior, and most of them had music accompaniment.

And she said that not only that, that at one point the raccoon missed the dunk and they stopped the whole show, and all the kids were scared that the man who came out to correct the raccoon's going to do something bad, and to make up for it, he goes it's time to pet the bunny, and then walked away around with a bunny and let all the kids pet the bunny once and then reset close the curtain curtains open, raccoon comes out, picks up a basketball and

slam dunks it, and everybody goes wild. Oh my god, So I thought this was just a drunk rambling hilarious local and then like the bartender and another person there was like, yeah, that did exist. So I don't know what it was called.

Speaker 1

When were you there when.

Speaker 2

Two thousand and seven?

Speaker 1

Oh man, I love that.

Speaker 2

Yeah. It was one of my first road trips where I cut down and I was like taking the tent. And then another time I did twenty, and then another time I did forty. But yeah, I passed through Fort Smith because somebody told me they had incredible Vietnamese food and they did it, and yeah, I went to a locals bar just to mix it up, and this woman was just beg. She knew I wasn't from there really and she was just trying to give me some local flavor.

But everyone's like, yeah, that did exist. So if you live in Arkansas and you know what I'm talking about and you have video from your childhood, share it with us. I would love to share it on the Bananas Podcast Instagram account.

Speaker 1

I remember once going to this Russian cat circus. Great came to New York City probably two thousand one or two thousand and two, and it was all cats and I think there was one dog and the cats would do like amazing things like the classic is like it was like one cat pushing a carriage with like two baby cats in it, and like walk in and they all are wearing two two's for some reason, and then like the cats all would get on each other's backs and then like the last cat would like run up

ten cats and get on top of like to make like an eleven cat long like column. I mean, they were cooking with cat.

Speaker 2

It was amazing, yeah, And I mean if they're if the cats love it, fantastic, If the raccoon loved it, or that ducklings or the chicken dress like Elvis loved it, then great, we couldn't be happier for him. And if not, we didn't do it. We were doing, we didn't do it.

Speaker 1

It is It's one of those things where you go, oh, I want to see this, and then you think like five more minutes about it, like, oh, it can't be good for the animals.

Speaker 2

I think at the second improv class I took that you were teaching improv one at the pit we had that little studio, and I think it was the second or third class you had Dion Flynn come in and like kind of co teaching you or cop and so you're like, Dean, do you want to like warm everybody up? And you know, we were doing all the improv games, the big booties and the zip zap zops, and then Dion was like, yeah, let's do some stretches and some stuff.

And I'll never forget because he's a really funny guy. He's a he's a truly funny man. He said something where he was going like, Okay, let's I'll get down in a crab position and we're going to tap into our root chakra, which I think is your one. I think your anus is one or your tail is first chakras okay, and I think he was like, and we're going to breathe in through the first chakra. We're not breathing out of the first chakra. And now let's all wiggle our genitals in the air as hard as we

can and laugh. And I was like, here we go. It was like the best class we ever did. But yeah, breathe in through the first chakra, but let's not breathe out through the first chakra and wiggle your genitals wildly in the air and laugh. And why you move to New York City there? Right, that's what you want, right?

Speaker 1

A group of twenty other twenty somethings, all just wiggling their genitalia in the air with clothes and everyone's loving it.

Speaker 2

Just five aspiring actors to firing writers, five corporate guys that dwifes were just like, go be funny or interesting, get the fuck out of the house. And then there was one woman that left. You must have taught this woman ten different times, but she never finished level one. I remember she was very lovely and she you were definitely knew who she was. And then after the second class she never showed up. And I think that was hermo.

She would come and take your class for two classes and then just go party downtown instead and.

Speaker 1

Never and never come back. It was always fascinated, just like, wow, you're gonna pay three hundred dollars again, Okay, all right, take your money, part it up.

Speaker 2

Breathe in through the first chakra, do not breathe out of the first chakra. Okay. I got one. Uh doctor Morgan, zipperly, zipperly listen. She we hung out with her after our first Denver comedy work show. I think across the street, what's that place called the Front Porch or something. Yeah, Denver's fineness didn't come to Banana fest hates. The podcast sent this in Man buys Man buys three hundred and ninety five thousand dollars dream home, knowing it will get

swallowed by the ocean. Oh okay, interesting, this is a This one is a you know, bring it up at your trivia night with your friends. Yes, it's an educational podcast and it's a fun thing to debate.

Speaker 1

As someone who wants to live near the ocean. I have thought about this idea a lot. Please continue, Yeah, and we'll talk about that.

Speaker 2

The Malibu neighborhood where you and I have hung out, that is definitely gonna be underwater. So Metro UK written by the best in the friggin' biz, Jessica Kwong. I love that, Jessica Kwang.

Speaker 1

Mm meat, are you kidding me? Bring the men she's moving in.

Speaker 2

And if your house is falling in the ocean, you want Jessica in your front yard, just typing up an accurate account of what's going on to you. For one, man being told that the dream home he always wanted to buy would fall into the ocean was a moot point. David Moot fifty nine, The Best in the Bed God, she went there and it worked. David Moot, fifty nine, had been vacation in Cape Cod, Massachusetts for over two decades and never imagined that he could afford to buy

a beach front house there. And then he spotted a listing for a home with an asking price of just three hundred and ninety five thousand dollars with a catch. The home at one five seven brown Ale Road in Eastam or Eastam, was only twenty five feet or seven point six meters from a sand bluff crumbling into the sea. Due to rising sea levels and erosion, the ocean was encroaching on the home at about three feet per year mean, meaning his house could be swallowed by the sea within

a decade. Still, Moot snatched it up. He said, life's too short. And I just said to myself, let's just see what happens. Told Bloomberg last month. It's going to fall into the ocean eventually, and it may or may not be in my lifetime. Again, this man's fifty nine, yeah, so he could live another forty. Yeah, But I kind of admire him for rolling the dice here. It's crazy.

I mean, I personally would not do it, but Easton which has been dubbed the Gateway to Cape Cod National Seashore Beautiful area, is vulnerable to more storms driven by warmer water, warmer ocean temperatures, and climate chains. Communities are at risk there of going underwater. Quote it's just a matter of time before we can get the property values to go down and quote. University of North Carolina, Wilmington

oceanography professor Dylan McNamara told Bloomberg. How they go down, whether it's precipitous drop off a cliff, or it's a smoother or unwinding That does sound a smooth unwinding down a smooth or unwinding Ooh, I might smoothly unwind it to a bath to nice.

Speaker 1

Just I just imagined the house just kind of going down a sand drain.

Speaker 2

Yeah, just George Benson plan just easing in. They'll uh, it's still up in the air. Moot purchased the potentially doomed home at sixty sixty seven percent less yeah than the amount the seller listed it for in twenty twenty two. And that's what's interesting, Like how far could he have driven this person? Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, nobody's going to buy that house.

Speaker 1

Like no, Also, my question is is, like, I'm assuming this mister Moot has the cash to just buy it. I'm assuming because if this in seven years, if the house goes under and he needs to pay off a three hundred thousand dollars loan for like the next thirty years for the rest of his life, yeah, that's.

Speaker 2

Gonna be pretty nothing, right, absolutely nothing. Yeah, I certainly can't ensure it. There's no way that you can ensure this house. So moot. He still faces costs a homeowner, including nearly four thousand dollars a year in property taxes. A pittance come to come to California.

Speaker 1

Go to New Jersey, baby, you know.

Speaker 2

We think it's Maryland.

Speaker 1

New Jersey's New Jersey. I think is the highest in the entire country. I think it's like two point five percent or twenty five percent or whatever.

Speaker 2

Grand a year, you lucky dog. Yeah, and about the same amount insurance that does not cover damages from erosion. The Pittsburgh resident plans to front the bills, in part by renting the house out so others will also have a chance to enjoy the serene property and the whole aura about the panoramic view of the ocean, Moot has decided to take a gamble and conclude it. There's pros and cons and negatives and positive in everything in life.

Speaker 1

Yes, I like this guy's attitude, Like I.

Speaker 2

Don't know how to sew okay. I everything's really expensive, Like all rents are expensive, Boston is super expensive. I'm sure the cape is crazy expensive.

Speaker 1

It's insane.

Speaker 2

If he gets ten years out of this house, yeah, and so thirty nine thousand dollars a year, Yeah, divided by twelve.

Speaker 1

That's like renting for three thousand dollars a month. That's what I'm thinking, thirty two hundred dollars a month to live on the beach. You can't live on the beach for thirty two hundred dollars a month.

Speaker 2

No, it's like he he won't be able to sell the house again. Yeah, but if he can get ten years on the beach, yeah, in kPa, it's worth three thousand. That's what I was thinking, Like is it it's.

Speaker 1

I think it's worth it. I totally think it's worth The thing is is like one year in to living on the beach, to living with the ocean in your front yard, it's already worth it. In my bed, like it's so I want to live at the beach, so goddamn bad. I was looking there's an area venture.

Speaker 2

That we want to Yeah, I love it too. Oh that'd be fun.

Speaker 1

And the prices have all just precipitously dropped because last winter one of the streets flooded pretty badly and it was the first time I think venture in that area has ever had flooding from the beach because the ocean is like very far away in those sections. It's a very big wine. And then all of a sudden boom, like everything was like like you know, two million dollars and now everything's like one point six million dollars, and

it was like, wow, it just like dropped overnight. And I'm just sitting there going like, at what point do you like, go for it and buy a house even though you know in twenty five years of underwater, I know, and then try and get twenty five great Yet like, at what price point is twenty five years of living there worth it?

Speaker 2

Yeah? If you you didn't have kids, if you have to leave anything behind, like and I'm trying to live to be one hundred and ten, which is sort of like having a child because I'm gonna have to afford like twenty years of life. So I can't go do it, but I we two things. One I got really safety ninety to one hundred and ten.

Speaker 1

You're just alone. Everyone you know is dead. That's fine, twenty full years you could have two separate careers. Yeah, and where everyone you know is God.

Speaker 2

Your kids will be in their eighties and I'll still treat them like little babies all the time. No, I know it. But so two things. One you and I took. We went to Caskaskia, which used to be the capital of Illinois and now had how many people? Fourteen people, twelve people? It was a crazy phone number.

Speaker 1

Eleven people. It was the smallest town in Illinois.

Speaker 2

But what so there's this town and then every it used to be like twenty years, but now I think it's like every five. It would just flood, just flood. And everybody was like, we're sick of rebuilding. We don't care how fertile this farmland is. So there were only eleven residents. There's a beautiful church. Everybody couldn't been friendlier, and we took them all gifts.

Speaker 1

And then one person had built their house. That's right, Is this what you're going to talk about. Go ahead, you They built the house. I think it was three stories up, so was all just like a metal walkway, yeah, pole barn. Yeah, like imagine one story up, two story up, three stories up. Yep, then that must be like it's more expensive the higher you go up to build that

sort of structure. They just took their whole house and put it thirty fucking feet in the air, and it must flood by twenty five feet.

Speaker 2

Yeah, you know what I mean. They were the youngest people there. There were family. It was two parents and two kids, and they just like, we're staying and so they built their house thirty feet in the air.

Speaker 1

And we and the bit that we were doing, yeah, the bit we were doing was that we were just going to bring a cake to every single person in the townleven cakes, because it's like, when else can you give a cake to every person in a town, except when the town has eleven people in it. And then the bit was made very awkward as I had to.

And now also I'm walking around in a tuxedo wetsuit with a an I film crew, with a small film crew and a life life jacket on that is also part of the tuxedo outfit, so I look like an idiot and I have to walk up. Mostly it was just walking up to people's house, ringing their doorbell, seeing if they're home, given them a cake. This is a three story walk up, yes on agrading to then ring their door bell to offer them a cake.

Speaker 2

They were happy about it. Everybody accepted, everybody was home accepted. We probably gave up seven of the eleven cakes. And then yeah, we gave them a billboard with kittens jumping out of a cake that said Kaskaskia.

Speaker 1

We're doing fine.

Speaker 2

We're doing fine. And they were so happy, they cried, they hugged. It was a wonderful moment. The other story is and so we Kurtibe and I have a friend who got to know this gentleman whose dad built a wooden house like a sea shack shanty, a small beautiful house up in Malibu in like the fifties. So when he built it, nobody wanted to live there, which is crazy to think in seventy years now, every property there's insane.

Speaker 1

Well, the ocean like the ocean and waterways in general. I always think about this because if you look at any like old city, all of their like junk shit is built on the river because it was that the river was just the sewage system. Yeah, the river was a sewage system. The ocean wasn't very you know, it was just like scary. People didn't go swimming. People thought

the ocean just wanted to kill you. Like water was just such a It's the crazy how much we love it now and how much we're terrified of it.

Speaker 2

Then, well, most of there's still so many people that don't know how to swim. Like swimming, it was such like a privileged thing to be, like, and we can swim, we can read, and we can swim.

Speaker 1

There's so many Instagram accounts that I get fed of people just being like the ocean it's fucking terrifying, and then like showing something and it's just like that's just like a whale shark, Like that's just like the most harmless animal in the ocean. He eats blanked in and krill.

Speaker 2

You know, I would love to see one up close.

Speaker 1

It would be amazing. But I would love if one ate me by accident, that be in the mouth of a whale shark?

Speaker 2

Are you kidding? Every We would tell that story every live show till the podcast ended Tell a Shark one again the whale Shark Kirk Gotswa by Shark. It's bit out, but so on the same beach where you and I get to hang out every now and then I found out that that is where the Kanye West house that he bought a man or I think sixty eight million dollars and is now for sale for fifty million or forty million or something. That house is there and it

has been abandoned. It is insane, like we all looked up to and it, but it is the only one on that stretch that it was built so deep and it's it's like block brutalis looking concrete. It's kind of made to endure the next fifty years of it'll be. The waves already come under it every day at high tide. But we were walking by it a few times, me and Molly, just hanging out, having a couple of drinks,

and I just walked right inside the house. I just walked, yeah, from the beach there stairs, and it is truly abandoned and the feeling of extreme when you're faced with extreme wealth and then you see what it is and it's nothing. It's a shell. It's an empty, windowless, wireless, no plumbing house. The front door and the garage are locked, and somebody had spay painted something on the garage at the time.

But I just walked right up the stairs off the beach and kind of like was able to like look around in this abandoned house and I'm like, so this is sixty million dollars. Yeah, the amount of good the amount of people that if you said I'm going to give you, you could give one hundred and twenty people five hundred thousand dollars, a truly life changing amount.

Speaker 1

Of money, truly life changing amount of money.

Speaker 2

Or you have an abandoned house that uh, people make fun of when they walk around.

Speaker 1

Well, the craziest part is that it wasn't an abandoned house when he bought it.

Speaker 2

That's right.

Speaker 1

He bought this like architect, I believe. Yeah, it's like there's not that Like this architect is incredibly famous and he he doesn't do that many houses. And then there's something that kind of didn't like about it. So he ripped out every single thing that was in the house and then ran out of money and couldn't do anything with it. And so now it's worth like he just like destroyed a house and now no one's gonna buy it for fifty million dollars in Malibu.

Speaker 2

That dude needs some better help, no shit, no shit. Yeah, it's just weird when you're faced with that kind of wealth.

Speaker 1

Yeah, is just useless.

Speaker 2

It's infuriating.

Speaker 1

That is what drives me fucking I mean, I have a whole bit about it on my last album, But about billion, yeah, it's good. It's just like it just makes me so angry that these people, like the people who are funding all this right wing insanity, like they're just they have so much money that they don't won't they won't notice, they won't. There's no impact on their life if they get an extra billion dollars on top

of one hundred billion dollars, there's no impact. It's I know, and and to other normal people it makes so much difference.

Speaker 2

Yeah, pretty wild Florida. Man, there we go.

Speaker 1

We're back arrested after a quote throwing pasta with sauce amid road rage incident.

Speaker 2

Good good, I hope that what's that chain Fazzolei's. I hope he just had gone through the drive through Fizzoli's had consumed the breadsticks quickly and just tossed that spag right at somebody else. I'll do some thumbs up.

Speaker 1

I got a thumb up. Thumb up before you start, Scottie, please do this. One's from Brandy Chalker, who organized that. Meeta too says, I have a little shout out request. I'm hosting a ghost tour of my town, Pedaluma, where Karen is from, in October, a passion project I've been thinking about for years and working on for months, and tickets are finally for sale. Was wondering if it's something you can mention on the pod. There's lots of Bay

Area and animals who might be stoked. The instagram is quote is at Haunted Petaluma and the website is TinyURL dot com slash Haunted Polluma. Quote This October, learn about Petaluma's dark side, our sordid history, our tragic tales, and the ghosts that haunt us. That sounds fun. That sounds so fun to do.

Speaker 2

Murder Ban Animals go visit Karen's hometown and take Brandy's Haunted Tour. I didn't think of a more fun thing to do this October. Ban Animals in the Wild send us a pick Brandy's the best. Here we go. Lee is thumbing herself up for getting through the toughest patch of her life and she's still trucking after leaving an unhealthy marriage, losing her house and a beloved dog, and now being a solo mom with two daughters. She is going back to school this winter to become a biotechnologist.

Thumbs up to everyone, including Lee, who has as much resilience as she does.

Speaker 1

Yes, thumbs up.

Speaker 2

Good for you, Lee. Right on I was dming with her. I said, three years, three years, your life is going to be fun and light and wonderful. I'm pumped for you.

Speaker 1

I am too. You know, I have been thinking. Do you remember when we had that advice from my buddy justin that his father in law said he would pay for him to hear yeah electricians, Yeah yeah. I think about it all the time, to have a trade, man, I think about it all the time.

Speaker 2

I can understand why I.

Speaker 1

Want to because you just go to school and then you have a skill. It's like, I love it. I want to do it anyway.

Speaker 2

Go ahead, and if you're good and they trust you, then you work forever. Because everybody will recommend you to everybody else. Kara wants to thumb her absolute dreamboat husband. I think it's Bohan. Bohan up. Yeah, I think it's Bohan. He has been the most supportive partner through infertility. Kara is thankful to have someone so supportive during this truly shitty roller coaster of a journey. Your cutie wife, Kara, So way to go, Bohan, Way to be a good supportive guy. It's not always easy.

Speaker 1

Thumbs up.

Speaker 2

Thumbs up, let's see Lauren Allard, Oh, this is a good one. Lauren Alard wants to shout out her aunt Kathy's husband Stefan, who had stage four pancreatic cancer last year. His most recent scan showed zero. That's amazing, Lauren says. We love him and are excited for him to get such good news. And that's an actual great point. When you get bad news and your stomach drops out your butt and you get a flop sweat and you panic and you throw up and everything's horrible and you faint,

it changes your life. But then when you get that good news, man, that weight lifting off you. In one word, You're clear, You're fine, it's fine. Oh my god, what an incredible moment. Thumbs up to you, Stefan or Stefan, We're very happy for your good health and last but not least, I have so many hmm. Oh, this is nice. Aaron P is thumbing herself up for mastering the dry sixty nine. She is really freaking proud of herself and

being sober has helped her emdr therapy so much. Oh, that's great that she's staying sober.

Speaker 1

Oh, congrat thumbs up.

Speaker 2

To Aaron P. For handling your business and taking care of your health. If you are doing sixty nine days of no alcohol at all, not even a droplet, let me know and I will send you a bumper sticker. I just got twenty more. I've sent something like one hundred and eighty plus. Now it's amazing, and so congratulations to all the Banan animals who needed the sober up, who did it and then have stayed sober. We're very proud of you. Thumbs up.

Speaker 1

Congratulations. That's awesome.

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker 1

All right, Scotty, here we go.

Speaker 2

Oh yah.

Speaker 1

Order man arrested after throwing pasta with sauce amid road rage incident. I'll tell you what, Scottie. This was sent in by the inimitable Portia Astra Davis. Thank you Porsche. Yeah, this was in the Independent, so you know it's real that.

Speaker 2

I was in the same joke. I was going to say, Amen, Medium, this.

Speaker 1

Is by Amelia Neath. No, everybody's underneath Amelia neath, because she's the top of the bunch. Okay, there we go, there we go, Amelia, thanks for writing this. Florida man has been arrested after fleeing pasta with sauce at another driver in a bizarre road rage. Nolan Goins, forty six, was arrested on Thursday on a misdemeanor of simple mattery. Jail records show that he allegedly got caught up in a road rage incident over glaring headlights. I can understand it, Nolan.

Mister Goins was traveling along Park Street near Bay Pines Boulevard in Saint Petersburg, Florida, at around nine pm when the glare from a driver's headlights sparked a road rage incident. According to an arrest Affidavid, While the traffic was still moving, mister Goins purportedly threw pasta with sauce from passenger side, hilarious, hurling the food out of his open window hitting another person who was driving at the time. Windows open, two moving vehicles. He threw a bowl of pasta and hit

the person. Miracle amazing.

Speaker 2

Not a traditional driving food. Not pasta, you know, not famously you get a bean burrito. Easy driving food, fun.

Speaker 1

Even easy and easy to throw into a window.

Speaker 2

Like a torpedo. You kidd me. I could be going sixty one way, you could be going sixty other I'll hit you in the mouth.

Speaker 1

But a bowl of pasta much more difficult.

Speaker 2

There's a lot of wind, there's a lot of friction.

Speaker 1

And it doesn't say that the that he actually threw a bowl. He just threw pasta with sauce.

Speaker 2

Ye mean, no bosta. He had that classic lap pasta. I love that.

Speaker 1

While the driver was hit on his own arms, legs and torso, the pasta did not leave any injuries.

Speaker 2

Well that's I'm glad it's not scalding hot. We can say, okay, it seems like the worst case is it would be.

Speaker 1

Scalding hot and would burn you exactly.

Speaker 2

No, that is a true assault.

Speaker 1

Mister Goins was later found with the same food stains on the right sleeve of his shirt. The arrest record set so That means he just grabbed it, he handed it, he grabbed it by the hands, and just threw it out the wind. Think about how fast you have to see very bright headlights, be eating pasta. Get upset? Decide then stick your hand into the bowl of fosta your eating. Throw it out the passenger side window over your own car, really good, into the driver's side window of a passing car.

Speaker 2

All of it.

Speaker 1

This guy, I bet you he played He must have played sports in high school.

Speaker 2

Hey, they have a lot of good baseball teams down there and floor a lot of spring training. Maybe that guy used to be a minor league pitcher for the you know, Fort Lauderdale Linguini tossers.

Speaker 1

All right, this is insane. This food fueled road rage incident is bizarrely not the first to occur recently that involves pasta.

Speaker 2

I mean, yes, good.

Speaker 1

Just over a week before in Indianapolis, the police, of course, it's Indianapolis police showed up at the scene of a road raid engine incident with a woman uh covered in spaghetti. Indianapolis Metropolitan Police were called to the scene on seventeenth of April after a driver reported that a woman in a GMC SUV was following her and flashing a gun.

Speaker 2

Well that's not good.

Speaker 1

That's not fun. The woman allegedly nearly hit the woman's car and tailgated her. Then she threw a container of spaghetti into the victim's open windows.

Speaker 2

See crazy, that's fine, that's great. We don't need guns. We need pasta, exactly, we need luke warm pasta.

Speaker 1

Lukewarm pasta.

Speaker 2

It should be like, if you get caught, it should be like, I don't know, one hundred dollars fine, or like two hours of community service, like it's fine.

Speaker 1

Yeah, like two hours of you having to listen to people. Go come on, come on, come on, man, come on, there's a lot of people people, come on, pasta.

Speaker 2

Come on, come on, really, come on, come on. My first car. Remember when we all had to move out here. I guess you did? You have your mom's car?

Speaker 1

I did at that time.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I so I bought a Volkswagen Jetta Wagon. I wanted a little sport wagon. I didn't have a ton of loot cakes. So I got a used Jetta wagon. And the first or second time I took it through a car wash without me knowing the the little cap on the back of the rear windshield wiper knocked off

happens all the time. But what I didn't know is the way that if you go to clean your rear window with that white bird and like the spray that that little plastic thing sprays it onto the window, and so if it's gone, it just shoots twenty five feet directly straight back. So the first time I went to clean, it just sprayed the car behind me like I was peeing on an enemy. And then I was like, I'm not fixing this. I'm gonna spray my friends. I'm gonna

spray people that honk at me. You know those people that as soon as the light turns green. So I did. I had that car ended up being a lemon, and I ended up getting rid of it within a year. But for a year, if you tooted your horn at me, as soon as the light turn green, I just sprayed you with a rocket a winch of wiper fluid. And it was so funny to me. The smallest part on a car gave me the greatest rooster tail. It was like a way runner. It was so funny. God, it made me so happy.

Speaker 1

Oh I love it. I love it. And also it's plausible deniability that you just didn't know.

Speaker 2

Oh dude, I just went to the car wash. I'm so sorry, man. I mean, it's just gonna clean your windshield. It's fine, but it was so good. Do you remember have you ever been to Dantanna's. Yeah, I've been with you too. Yeah, yeah we did go, didn't we?

Speaker 1

No?

Speaker 2

No, no, I've been.

Speaker 1

I've been to Dantanna's without you.

Speaker 2

I just yeah, but we should go. It's a it's a West Hollywood institution. It's a very small red sauce Italian joint where a lot of celebrities go. The food is not good, not great. The scene is incredible.

Speaker 1

The scene is the bar is fun. There's always a woman, older woman dressed very well at the bar talking to like a twenty four year old muscular man who's wearing almost no shirt and a cowboy hat. A lot is like what is happening at did Tanna's.

Speaker 2

There is a matre d that is just in a tuxedo, and if you are a regular or you were a famous person, he just cuts you right to the front line, as they should. Well, one night I went to go with Karen and Bridger and we had a reservation and they kept sitting famous people before us, So we just went and ate Indian food instead at a place that said it was Dolly Parton's favorite chicken Tika Marsala in the world. So it was a teachable moment and we

got a story out of it. But during a lockdown twenty twenty, I still had an personal Instagram account, and I realized everybody was scared and nervous and really stressed out. So I decide instead of posting photos of you know, baked bread or puzzles finished or long hair, that I was going to just post nonsense for a week at a time. And so one week I just posted celebrities eating spaghetti and meat Pauls.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Every day I would just google celebrity eating spaghetti meatballs and I would find Jessica Alba or whoever. And one day I got one of Sophia Virgara, the beautiful and talented Sophia Virgara. She's smiling, she's holding pastaup with huge meatballs, and she's clearly at Dantana's and I think people enjoyed it.

And then two days later my cousin was like, dude, my dad, So my uncle called him and was like, that is so crazy that Scottie got Sophia Vargar to pose with a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs for his instagram this instagram, and I was like, do not correct him, because one, I'm not leaving my house. I'm terrified too. If I knew Sophia Bargara and had enough influence over her to I don't know, eat pasta during a pandemic and smile and full hair and makeup a boy, I

would have a lot bigger house. It was so funny. It was like the reality of social media is like, well, yeah, and the day before was Robert Downey Junior eating spaghetti and meatballs. I don't know either of them. Sadly, I would love that. Joanna Swan sent this in thank you, Joanna Swan. Delta is reminding prospective flight attendants that they must wear underwear to their job interviews. This one.

Speaker 1

This is such a confusing one.

Speaker 2

Yeahoo news Norah Redmond best in the panty reporting business. Delta Airlines has told prospective flight attendants participating in the company's latest interview rounds that they must wear proper underwear. A leak document detailing the airline's appearance requirements for applicants interviewing to work at the airline was viewed by travel news site Paddle your Own Canoe canoe spelled k A

n o oh, Okay, okay, it's probably very good. The document reminded candidates to wear undergarments that are not visible when attending in person assessments such does that.

Speaker 1

So here's the right, So here's long about thong above the That's what I at first thought, Yeah, I assume that's what it means.

Speaker 2

Waist line.

Speaker 1

The waistline is got the frail tail, long, low cut pants with with I thought, that's what I'm assuming because it seems weird to be like, you have to wear underwear, but we can't see any panty lines, you know, like visible through your pants. Do you know what I mean? Like that seems like a double a double message.

Speaker 2

I agree, it must be people are rock and thongs, high waisted thongs, I guess, so what just a nut. But it's crazy to wear to do a job interview.

Speaker 1

It's so crazy to wear do a job interview. It almost seems more like, if that's it, you need kind of some more information like what to wear, because it really just sounds like people are not wearing underwear. That's what it sounds like.

Speaker 2

How would you know?

Speaker 1

And how would you know? Like what's happening at these job interviews is really raises so many more questions there is.

Speaker 2

It a basic instinct situation where nine men are staring at one woman who crosses and uncrosses her legs. Honestly, we don't know. We've never been flight attendants. No, we have a lot of flight attendant listeners. Shout out to flight attendants. It's probably gotten a little better in the last couple of years, but man, people are just jerks on airplanes.

Speaker 1

They really are. It's fucking crazy. I'm always being extra nice if you're trapped in a tube with someone, being extra nice to the people trapped in the tube with you.

Speaker 2

Delta, though, you can tell when you're what hubs you're coming through and what flight teams say loud. If you get that lax to Atlanta, man, you are getting some top oh the line flight attendants. These people are so they're so good that I feel bad turning them away. They're like another cocktail and I'm like.

Speaker 1

No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2

They're like you sure, And I'm like, oh, do you want me to have one like, do you enjoy watching me slug these down? In the interest of transparency and clarity for all prospective candidates, we are encouraging people to dress for success and.

Speaker 1

Give test of clarity. Like that's the craziest part. This is the most confusing thing you could possibly say.

Speaker 2

I know, my friend Mel does casting for reality shows. I might I have mentioned this long time ago, but she has a really hard time casting reality shows because people refuse to zoom with her without filters on, refuse to send photos where they aren't filtered, to the point where she's like, hey, great, the interview is awesome, the producers really like you, but we do need to see you without a face tune, and they go, oh, okay, so sorry, and then they send another filter pace.

Speaker 1

Wow, that's crazy, she says.

Speaker 2

It's like every single day, the main thing she had to do when she's following up for people for game shows or dating shows or whatever, is everybody's gotten so used to lightly filtering or heavily filtering their faces that she has to continuously and they will disqualify people if they can't get what you actually look like.

Speaker 1

They're like, nah, that's so crazy. I don't use a filter on anything.

Speaker 2

Ever, well, we have dude advantage. Dude advantage is such an unfair, distinct dude advantage.

Speaker 1

Old dude advantage too.

Speaker 2

They're like, they're like, you're wearing a T shirt, all right, good, good job looking dressed himself. You only have one stain on that T shirt. That's a job. Is a spaghetti sauce from throwing it out your window. Here's just a little of fun. Anecdote. Delta reopened applications for flight attendant. It's a great job at the beginning of September for the first time in over a year. So been animals out there looking for career change. I'm a Delta dog.

I would love to meet a banana a flight attendant.

Speaker 1

I'm a Delta dog myself. I can't be a I can't be a flight attendants. Gotti to my In my epic quest of looking to be a train engineer. Sometimes I was also look into flight attendants. Can't do it, you gotta be under I think six foot.

Speaker 2

Oh I can't do it either, then, yeah, Bomber, well good, I know quite a few actually, and they're all wonderful people. Delta. Yeah, so An Airlines spokes and said there's been a high demand that led to some applicants reporting difficulty accessing the application page. That has since been fixed, and the airline reminds interviewees in the document that profanity should not be used during the interview, that chewing gum is not permitted, and that's I know, and that flight attendant hopefuls must

maintain their personal hygiene. There's a five stage process, Kurt, to become a Delta flight attendant. First is submitting an application. Second, there's a virtual job tryout. Third, there's a video interview. Fourth, there's an in person event that includes another interview, and successful appkins then receive a conditional job offer and undergo seven weeks of training. Okay, so that's pretty good. Save weeks is thorough that I mean, it's awesome.

Speaker 1

It's awesome, and then you get to fly places all the time.

Speaker 2

Bananimals who are Delta flight attendants or any flight attendants just say hey, I'm a flight attendant. I would love to know what airline you fly for. We won't dox you and get you in trouble, but I would love to know who the Bananmal flight attendants are and what airline you are.

Speaker 1

That would be amazing to have a bananimal flight attendant just randomly one day.

Speaker 2

Oh, I would be the happiest person in the world. I hope it happens. I hope we continue to grow in a way that one day it's like, Hey, Scotty, I'm like, oh, hell yeah, this is so fun.

Speaker 1

Well, Scotti, thank you so much.

Speaker 2

Pal you two pretty be. You can always leave us a five star review on Apple Music or Spotify wherever you listen to Bananas and double check that Apple or Spotify didn't unfollow the Bananas Podcast last time you updated your phone or device, because it did to a lot of people, and we would love to have you back. It helps the podcast so much. And that's all I'll say. I'll shut up with the business. Bananas Man. Bananas is an exactly right media production.

Speaker 1

Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.

Speaker 2

The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.

Speaker 1

Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard, and.

Speaker 2

Our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstart

Speaker 1

And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern

Transcript source: Provided by creator in RSS feed: download file