The Cattiest Scan with Karen Kilgariff

Guy.

You ready, Oh pretty bee, I'm ready to just laugh and laugh and laugh.

I got only pet ones, okay, so I hope you have some human ones your choice? Dogger cat, I'm going cat cat. Doctor faces inquiry after giving his cat a cat scan at Italian hospital.

Whoa cool well, eight lives to go and a brand new bananas Peede cast.

World? Would you misillion pieces? Would you believe? Guys, gals, non binary pals? Wellcome to Bananas. I'm Kurb Brownolder, I'm Banana Boy number two.

Thank you for listening to the silliest little podcast there ever was. Kurt, do you have any stand up to announce?

Well, I would like to say that we're going to be in Phoenix on March twenty ninth, together Scotti and I.

Be Banana's Live.

And then I would like to say Asbury Park, New Jersey, May sixth. All right, I'm there. Let's do it Chicago May seventh at the Den Theater. Come on May eighth, Commonwealth Sanctuary, and Cincinnati, Ohio. It's actually Dayton, Kentucky, but we'll let it seems counting, So go go get the tickets, get the see Kurt.

You're going to laugh your buns off, and you know Super Bowl is coming up the Sunday, so we thought we needed our resident football picks in expert as a guest on the show because nobody follows the NFL more.

Please welcome to the show, Karen Kilgareff.

Guys, thank you so much. And here's the thing. You just got to move that ball down the field. At the end of the day, we're what they're out there to do, and what they're trying so hard to do is just take that ball and yard by yard move it down the field. That's what it's all about.

Absolutely well said and honestly smarter than the sport of football is. It's grown men down and helping themselves back up and then falling down again.

I think football is a great metaphor for life.

Guys.

Can we talk about that for the next hour, the whole time, or the whole time. I'm gonna keep bringing it back.

Just yeah, it's true. Just by the time you figure out how to win, your body starts to fall apart and it's over and.

The brain damage sets in and the glory days are behind you.

There it is.

But I'll be watching, Kurt. Do you know who's in the Super Bowl this.

Year, I'm gonna I'm rooting for the Eagles.

There we go, Jersey Boy, through and through.

Yep, there it is.

What about Gills and Chiefs? I say, as an expert, I mean, look at that. That's me showing my expertise.

Is that Kansas City?

Correct?

Kansas City?

Where you sitty fountains? Yeah, city of fountains.

The city of fountains, Fountains of Wayne from New Jersey. They already go see circle full circle, Karen?

How are you down?

You're the field?

What's new? What's good? Are you going to be watching at home? Are you going to go watch with your dad?

Be honest, I wish I could go watch with my dad because that I've ingested over the holiday breaks so much football watching with my dad where he has it directly in his hearing aids straight into his head, so it's silent in the room.

Wow, literally just watching it.

And then I was on TikTok, but I accidentally kicked myself off and can't get back on now. So yeah, we had the perfect kind of like football ingesting system set up. So that's how I started memorizing lines like we just got to move, They've just got to move the ball down the field. They said this state, those generalized statements that those announcers say with full like passion and conviction, and their voice is truly the most entertaining thing to me.

I love it.

Yeah, there's a great, great joy. And how bad Tom Brady is at announcing he signed a mega contract, he announces games, and he's terrible at it. And the relief I feel knowing that he is awful at something just makes me so happy.

Also, it's so gutsy.

That's like acting like that's easy, when in fact, to bullshit that way for what two and a half hours is at least you have to have kind of a mega mind, Like you can't just.

Be jump to the experts who bullshit for two and a half hours. Okay, we know how hard it is to bullshit for two and a half hours.

Not sweating blood over here, we are suffering.

For podcasts, I am so grateful that not only my favorite Murder, but Bananas has a format that it's about something that you do a couple stories that we do usually four strange news stories. Because when I listen to a podcast that is just chat boy sometimes can really just fade Yeah, or.

Like my control issues kick in and I start kind of like quietly producing them, where I'm just like, just ask the question and stop talking, like all those weird podcasting habits people have where they're like, I'm gonna ask you a question, but now I'm going to give you seventeen examples of what answer you could give me and just keep.

On eating up all the oxygen in the room.

Ooh.

It is brutal. It is like instruction. It's almost like if you started a conversation, you'd be like, how you doing? For example. There's a lot of different ways you can answer that. You could say you're doing good, or you can really go personal and tell me something deep and interesting about yourself. But it's your choice, So go ahead, how you doing?

Because I did see an interview with you were you once answered that you weren't doing so well? And I think that's interesting if we go back to that party.

Speaking of our format, should we just get into this cat story?

Then yeah, hit you with that headline again, Kurtie b.

Here it is doctor faces inquiry after giving his cat a cat scan at Italian hospital. Okay, this was in the Guardians, so you know that it's actually an actual actual, that's real. This was sent in by the delightful and wonderful me. I sent it in. I found it. Love that Anthony.

Uh.

This is rock and a big bro. This was written by Angela Giofrida in Rome in Roma.

Roman listener, Yeah, Roman journalist, got it, got it sorry.

An Italian doctor has been placed under investigation after giving his catacat scan an hospital in Aosta before performing a life saving operation on the feline uh Gia. Luca Finelli took the animal called Athena to Umberto Parini Hospital in the northern Italian ree where he is a manager, where he is a manager of the radiology unit, after she fell from a roof. Quote she was between life and death.

Belong, busting up the party.

Undertook an internal inquiry into the incident and referred the case to prosecutors in Aosta, who said Finale could face charges of wasting public money and depriving patients of essential services. In his defense, Finelle said he used the hospital equipment after hours, when all the X ray scheduled for the day had been completed. Noah, he patients were booked in for urgent tests. Athena, who plunged six floors from the roof of the building where the family lived, was one

Oh.

I like this guy. And then the last quote, being a doctor means carrying out a mission the driving forces precisely the life that flows in the eyes of those who trust themselves to your care. He is a poet, and this life flows in every living being. If my cat had died, I would never have been able to forgive myself, especially because my children adore her.

I failed to see if there were if it was after hours, and the guy can do the surgery.

And the cat lived. What's it all out? Yeah, this is a great story. You should be like, not only are cat scans great, it's save this cat too.

And what's the argument?

Do you think is that, like that it's unsanitary that a cat would go into a human cat scan or like, what's the problem with any of it?

I don't know. I have no idea that it's inappropriate. I don't know. I mean, don't Italians do inappropriate things all the time?

Yeah, don't we? Who doesn't humanity as a whole?

Like he's tried to cover for me. He doesn't want eddy Italians to be so scared of adultans.

I had an Italian waiter, no brag.

I went to Italy and got to go on a trip there and I had an Italian waiter. I tried to order prosecco and it was like six pm and he was like no, no, no, no, like.

Straight up told me no.

Those people have rules and regulations and they follow them.

It is wild.

Like what would he give you instead?

I think you were just supposed to drink wine because it was like dinner and it was not the afternoon. It was some shit like that where I was so taken aback and of course horrified that I was just like, I was just trying to have a sip of champagne before I eat spaghetti.

Forget it.

Oh was that in Italy or was that in America? It was in Italy. No, no, no, no, no no.

Yeah.

I had an Italian person do that, an Italian waiter do that in Brooklyn where my wife and I were like two void casdas please, and he's like, no, no, no, no no, with your meal, you drink a wine. I get you wine. And I was like, we don't want wine, and then we ended up drinking wine because he was very insistent.

Didn't want to get drunk, sir, we don't want to get a little loopy. We're trying to get hammered and eat as much pasta as we could fit into our bodies. But this is a huge This company or this hospital is doing it so wrong. It's a cat scan. They put a cat in there. A cat scan machine looks relatively like a doughnut that a board slides in and

Although I think I could definitely be wrong. Italy doesn't have.

Privatized hospitals there. It's public, so maybe that's the issue.

You get it.

They're like it's all governmental, kind of like we say what cat goes where in that kind of Whereas the capitalistic point of view, those cat scans absolutely should and would exist and would be the most popular in America if we would just make them here.

I have an ignorant question international ban animals. I have an ignorant question. When you have free healthcare, as you do and we wish we did, does that are veterinarians also free? Or do you have to pay for your animals?

Good question, great question. I love that question.

Have you ever thought I had never thought about that until Karen was just saying that. So do you are your dogs and cats and horses taken care of or do you have to pay out a pocket for that and make appointments and all that. That's I have no idea what the answer is, to be honest.

Me either, And I also don't know if Italian medicine is not privatized, I truly don't know what I'm talking about almost ever, so I was just kind of throwing that out there.

Oh, I'm a guess it's it's not I'm guess it's the government as.

Well, right, but it's almost everybody that has that.

Also, they should make this man the mayor. He should be the mayor.

Or the just the mayor.

Rescue, make the cat the mayor.

That cat survived, survive the sixth story fall. The cat should be to have a parade every year.

I love this. I think that we have two great ideas.

Italy provides free healthcare to its citizens and legal residents through the National Health Service, the Cervicio Senate, Senatorio Nazional or SSN. Good for you, Italy, nice work.

Hey, hey, Scott, he is a member of a Do you know this? Scott is a member of an Italian social club.

I didn't know, Scotty, you were a member there. It is, oh, in Philly.

Uh No, it's in Los Angeles, California. I just got in about a month ago to the Garibaldina Society, and I might join the BACI League, which is nine weeks on Monday nights, me and a bunch of older Italian guys playings a bacci.

To get absolutely built for you, like that is, you know. So I got to go to the Garibaldi dinner that was before Thanksgiving, I think, like their last one of the year, and it was the most Of course it was Albertina who was like, you have to go to the thing with me. And then I walked in and of course I was coming from work and I was like forty five minutes later whatever, and it was like

But it's just people in La. I've never seen anything like it in La.

Same thing. I went to one of those. My good friend Mike Levanos and his wife Katie. Your members and they were like, you have to come to this pasta platter exactly what you're describing. Members can bring friends and then it's like four courses of a homeade Italian. The two men that make it are like the sweetest old guys and they make every meal there.

They do well. Everybody serves it's.

A volunteer or remember and sets up. So like when I signed up for volunteering, I'm like, I will set up tables and chairs, i will park cars. I was a valet forever. I'll Bartend if you need a bartech because they have the coolest wood paneled bar you've ever seen. It's straight out of the Midwest. And uh, yeah, I got in. A few people recommended me. It took about nine months to get in, but yeah, you guys are always welcome to join at any time. It's so fun.

Oh, it's so good.

It feels like you're somewhere else. It feels like you're in Milwaukee. It feels like you're in Arkansas. It's just it's so great that it's in Los Angeles. It's just an old school. Yeah, it's like an Italian wedding without a service.

Do people there do the Jersey thing of dropping the last part of the word perju Kalama, No, they.

Are, They don't do that anywhere but Long Island in New Jersey.

Really, that's so crazy?

Got it o all that shit? Yeah? The MutS that is East coast coated.

I will say that the night I went the thing that really healed me from my kind of like brittle, acidic Los Angeles interior was at the end, so I like scarfed down this ZD you know, wonderful salad that's totally someone made with their hands, and just like so good.

I love it so much, Like take.

Your eyesse, join you got too. It's very fun. It's they opened it up to non Italians, so that's how I got in, because they were like, what are we doing? We got to make some money here, folks. There was a table I went to like one of their budget meetings, like they just do a meeting where everybody can come, and there was a group of older Italian women like I'm talking older, like eighty plus who sit there with pencils and write down all the figures and do little

It, and everyone is so welcoming because I had this thing. Of course, my coming from like you know, my parents. My dad was first generation Irish, so very clanny you know Irish people. Yeah, there, and so I was like, kind of I shouldn't be going to this. I'm good, I need you know, Albertina needs to meet me at the door to get me in, like that whole kind of outsider thing. And the second my foot hit the doorway, it was like, Hi, do you know your table numbered?

Me I couldn't agree more, and also to go in with a woman named Albertina Rizzo. Yeah, the most Italian name. If I put that in a script, i'd probably get a letter from.

The A C.

L U.

They're like, you can't, you cannot.

I always thought Albertina's mom was Italian, but as her dad, who is Italian, her mom is something else. I think she's European of some descent.

But she always would call she's Latina.

Is she really?

Yeah?

Oh she would always call SpongeBob. Yeah, oh my god.

Yeah, we'll think of it. I remember she got.

I had it in my mind and then I got lost in the beginning part of it.

Yeah, that's okay.

Yeah, take a.

Moment, take a moment. I feel it's worth It's gonna be worth it.

It will be worth it. It's so worth it. It's very Did you ever, Karen, have you ever eaten at Bamantes in Brooklyn? It's like a very famous old school Italian place.

I don't think so.

They had a thing. I don't know if they have any more. Kurt, I'm sure you've been to Bamants. It's over near Williamsburg green Point. But it's very old school. But they had a thing that I've never seen anywhere else where. They had a light switch and you could turn it on and would put a light on over your table to alert the server's server that you needed service. And I'm like, how easy is this? Like why why doesn't every table just have a nice little light switch?

Like why didn't that go national?

In London there was a I went to a restaurant where it's in Soho where you hit a button from or Champagne and then a light comes on and then Champagne's just brought to the table. Now that's classy. And here it is punchbob pants pants.

Punchbob pants pants.

You just had to let a gurgle up to the top.

Let's see. I have one for you too, here's a human one. Alyssa Evan sent this in Many did, but Alyssa Evans sent it and I saw it first. You could send really any strange news or weird news stories to us anytime at The Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com or the Bananas Podcast on Instagram. Uh mom gives birth in Krispy Kreme parking lot names it glaze. So there was a this was on Today dot Com, written by Rachel Paula Abrahamson. Honestly, I think you could just go Rachel Abrahamson at that point.

Definitely, she knows of Rachel Abrahamson. That's why she's like, I can't be Rachel Abram's and I hate Reachel Abram.

You're not mistake me for her.

I want that Paula. You don't hear the name Paula very No, you don't. There was a time where pound start of older people named Paula.

Paula is very like kind of like the Bob I have where it's very blown out, circular Bob. But that's paul You can go see Paula in human Resources. That's to me, that's what Paula feels like.

Here's my question, how much does wait, wait, don't tell me pay Paula Poundstone because does is it enough for her to live on? Because it is the main place I'm hearing Paula Poundstone. She's really good at it, She's excellent at it.

She's so funny.

Didn't what's that dude's name, care Vin Diesel? Didn't he name one of his daughters after paul Walker and he named her Paulina or Pauline. I think that's right. But it's like, Paula is right there. You could have been Paula Diesel. Also, Paula Diesel's a name.

Yeah, Paula the Diesel is the high school principal.

You do not want to mess with.

Ooh.

Also, Hezel wants to see you, Paula.

Go to missus Diesel's office.

And why hasn't energized or hired Vin Diesel to be Vin d cell and like just be having he's got a D cell battery in his back. Why has that not happened yet?

Why are all the good ideas dead? It doesn't make sense.

And when has anybody seen a D cell battery? It's nineteen five.

They are only in cop flashlights. I have a cop flashlight and that's the only place I've ever used a D cell battery.

That's what I was gonna say.

It's my dad's seventies flashlight that's out in the garage.

Yeah, just yeah, just for science fairs and dad flashlights and no other use than the D cell battery. Mom gives birth and Krispy Kreme parking lot during historic Alabama blizzard and they're calling it glaze or after a blizzard at an empty CRI speak green parking lot might not seem like an ideal spot to give birth. That's true, actually true, But for Shanaya Bennett, which was a cool name,

Says, yeah, I get it, you're here.

I had an epidural once when I had a kidney stone, and it was confusing to not be able to move the lower half of my body. It was pretty interesting. It lasted a long time because they did it during they I had the kidneyston removed and then I woke up, So at least was five hours because I woke back up and I could I was looking at my feet and trying so hard to move my toes and couldn't. It was an interesting experience.

Wow.

Oh, so they actually they operated on you to get it out.

You didn't, ye? They go up the old Yeah, they go up the old fun ride and then they zap it with a laser and then a laser.

How big was it? Scotty compare it to a thing in our world.

Yeah, it wasn't that big. It was, oh god, no it was. It was about the size of an apostrophe in a novel.

An apostrophe in a novel. Okay, thank you, thank you.

So it was two millimeters by four millimeters, but then it had a nine millimeter side, and that's why they were like, we should blast this thing. I said, sure, I have to go to a wedding tomorrow, and I did. I got I got that epidural out, I got my dance and shoes back on, and I dance floor.

And then and the bride and groom did not know you later tell them.

Yeah, I didn't tell them till after they were married because I didn't want anybody to pay attention to me. So I went to the cocktail hour and I see photos from that wedding. My eyes are so glazed from morphine, from like heavy painkillers, and like, I had so many conversations with parents where I'm like, boy, I don't remember that person.

Exist You're like Wesley and the Princess Bride, where you're totally frozen and trying to pretend like nothing's happening. You might get up at any moment it.

Was, and I was actually a little afraid, like when the band started to play to dance, because like, yeah, like five or six hours earlier, my legs wouldn't work. And then so I was like, I don't want to like step to the right and then just keep on going and they'd be like, oh, he's a sad, alcoholic man. I wanted that epidural, Bennett said. She's twenty three years of age, with her partsner Kean Mitchell behind the wheel and their four year old son Legend in the back seat.

They're already doing it. Yeah.

Bennett did everything she could not to panic, but her contractions were coming fast and furious. The roads were so icy that the drive was taking a lot longer than normally would and it felt like every light was turning red. As soon as we got to the stop line, Bennett recalls. Then suddenly Bennett felt the baby's head between her legs.

I mean, Jesus, wow, does I say how many other children she had one?

I think, uh, maybe there's no one at the book. I think Shony has one. Legend. She felt the baby's head between her legs. At that point, Bennett instructed Mitchell to pull over at a parking lot. It was a nearby Krispy Kreme. There would be no epidural, no delivery room for that matter. Bennett says, I was like, I can't believe this is happening.

Wow, that's right, that's amazing that I mean, like, is I wonder if it's the first if it's her first child, No.

It's her second child. Had a four year old. She has a four year old son. And minutes later there were four people in the car writing Rachel Paul abers she she ran the numbers. Yeah, yeah, and that's why she's the best in the business. Bennett and Mitchell named their second child Dallas Emir, but the entire family has been calling him Glaze.

Blaze Bennett great name, it's great and also a good story for the for the name. Why are you named Glaze? Born in a donut factory?

Bennett? So the Krispy Kreme name inspired nickname suits him well. He's so sweet, he rarely cries. He's just a chill, happy little guy. At the hospital, Glaze measured five pounds fourteen ounces, so that's six pounds. We can round up there and was given an absolute clean bill of health, and, according to Krispy Kreme, Glaze is the first baby they know of to have the donut chain listed as their place of birth on a birth certificate.

Wow, pretty cool.

Are they going to get something?

They better get something.

Krispy Kreme athlete Krispy Kream heard about Bennett's extraordinary birth. It awarded the family a supply of free donuts for one year.

Boo Krispy Cream. Boo Blaze gets it for life life, Yeah, Blaze, you idiots.

Here's the one thing they did do. Okay. The company also pledged to host Glaze's birthday party every January twenty second, So he's gonna have a free birthday party at as of his life for the rest of his life.

By age ten, he will not be interested. But actually, I'm sorry. By age six, he will no longer be interested in having his birthday party at Crispy.

Here you're like, I can't look at another donut, Please stop rewarding.

Me with this.

Yeah, the inside of Krispy Kremes are not very inviting for children. They smell great, it's fun to see the donut go by, but there's nothing to do there it's just sticky chairs and sticky tables.

So they're not really they're not really kids donuts. And in my opinion, I know there's like a pink one probably, but to me it's like, here's donuts for adults that like love dessert and want something like an innovation, or for us because we got Krispy Kreme so late, it was like a kind of.

Don't where is Christy Cream from? I feel like everywhere got it late.

I don't know, but it feels like it feels like a Florida business to me. But let's find out.

Because I remember when they came to the East Coast, I was like, well, well, well, well, well look at this kind.

They were founded in Winstam Salem, North Carolina South. He was a New Orleans based chef named Vernon Rudolph. It's an educational podcast.

People learn a lot, there's takeaway, there's information, there.

Is and there are still fourteen hundred locations, which is honestly mind boggling. It's hard to imagine in my lifetime. Maybe Dippin' Dots. Is there a business that came out of nowhere, showed up, was everywhere, and then contracted and went away. Krispy Kreme's up there.

So guess what what Dippin' dots lives on? What Dippin' dots lives on? You can't get it anywhere except in gas stations. Oh now, and my kids fucking love dippin' dots. You can get it at gas stations and like amusement parks, and that is the only place Dippin' dot exists now.

Weirdly, and I think I've only seen other people eat dippin' dots, like at a you know, amusement park when I was a kid. Is that like a thing where your kids are in the backseat with a spoon and a little cup, and there's the little dots are just in a cup.

No, so they got rid of the cup and now it's like a gross bag and so they're just with a spoon and a gross bag, and no one eats the dippin' dots. So the dippin' dots have like congealed a little bit in the bag. Oh and you look at the ingredients and there is not a single actual food.

Item that is made up of dippin' dots.

It is just chemicals from the start to the end, and they're like, yeah, they love it, Eddie Moore. Chemically a thing tastes the more children are like, this is my favorite thing and if I can't have this, I'm gonna lose my mind.

Yeah.

Wow, it's so weird because it's made it's made for that. I'll tease us into a thumbs up.

Well, I love that, you know what.

I'm just gonna say this. I'm gonna say this about speak Kurt.

It's a free country sort of.

Whatever tread on you, don't trud on yourself.

Don't tread on myself. Whatever happened to Elvis is Teddy Bear, and that's it's just teasing you. It's just teasing you.

Because they had that song Teddy Bear, right, that was I saw great karaoke once. If a guy singing that song, he was.

You're gonna love this story.

I'm obsessed. Here's some thumbs up, Kendall. Clark says, thumbs up, bitches. Oh yes, Kendall, that's a good way to start it. Kendall is giving herself a huge thumbs up for going to p A school. I don't know.

Exactly what physicians assistant there.

We go less than fifty percent of applicants are accepted nationwide. Kendall got in. She's well on her way to achieving her dream as being a healthcare provider. Right on combs up to you. Kendall's wonderful.

Yes, I wonder how long it becomes it takes to become a physician's assistant. Like, I guess eight years. Your guess is eight years. I think it's less than eight years, because I think, like eight years is maybe a doctor. And I think, and that's the advantage of a PA is that there's a little less there's less schooling, so that there's more of them. And I find them to be honestly, honestly, oftentimes more helpful than doctors because they spend more time with you. I like a PO. I

But also are you saying that so you want to become one, But you're like, no, no, I'm not.

Going to do it for eight years. It's got to be three.

Yeah, yeah, no, if it's if I can go to school for three years and then start treating illnesses. It's so funny. I love doing that.

Did you hear Kurt became a doctor. Yeah, I guess. I guess he wanted to be a doctor.

She's funny. He's funny. He tells jokes the whole time. Let's see, here's a fun one. Selena Tucker wants to thomb her mom, Sharon up. Sharon is a bananimal and the most caring and thoughtful human who also has a full time job and a small business so she's able to live near Selena and her new grand baby. All the while she's been battling lime disease. Oh Sharon thumbs ups up.

Sharon, My wife had limes lime lime disease undiagnosed for eight years. Long term. Lime is a real thing, and it was it was devastating, and so she finally got done with it. If you want to message me, I can give you some resourceage. Just message me on my Instagram. That's so nice of you.

Let's see. Here's let's do two more. Oh great name here Danica Mulholland. And if it's not mul Holland, I got cut off. I'm so sorry. So we'll say Danica m.

U l h.

I'm guessing the name of moholland is thumbing up her best friend Kelsey. Kelsey is a survivor. She went to She survived a surgery complication after losing an incredible two and ten pounds. Oh my god, whoa good for you, Kelsey. There was eternal bleeding during the surgery. Less than one percent chance that would happened. It happened. She spent four days in the ICU, I believe, but she is now living her best life as a snatched battie. Kelsey thumbs up, you snatched battie.

You Kelsey, way to go, thumbs up.

The thumbs ups are getting more colorful. Yeah, the animals are starting to get it, okay. And then I had to do this one. While we have Karen Kilgareth with us. Haroen is thumbing themselves up for finally changing their name. Haron never liked their old name, and after a year searching for a new one, they chose Heron because as birds, Heron's managed to be beautiful and graceful while also looking awkward and uncomfortable. So I just need to say Heron's

Hell, absolutely hellumbs up.

Did Haron say what their original name was?

Uh?

And I didn't hear did it?

No? They didn't. I believe it was like Eli. Possibly.

I was just wondering if it was if Aaron had been a Karen and couldn't take the pressure that we've been under for the last decade and tried to get out of the Karen group, which I understand entirely.

Yeah, I'm not a Karen.

I'm a bird.

I'm a gorgeous harr but also weird.

That is a tricky one. Yeah, well, thumbs up. You can send them in. I'll do them. I have a backlog, but I'm catching up.

I'm getting Are you doing so well with them?

I like the thumbs up? That's a really good, good vibe segment.

Yes, all right, here it is, so I look. I looked up a lot of the A lot of this story originally was on an Instagram post from a page called a History of Dogs, and I couldn't find a better telling of this story than the fucking captioned on this Instagram post. So I'm just going to read that. Here it is in two thousand and six. Oh, this was sent in by Tammy Criner. Tammy Criner, thank you

True.

In two thousand and six, A Children's Museum and Western England open an exhibit of rare teddy bears. The collection valued it more than nine hundred thousand dollars. This is in two thousand and six money, so that's like thirty million dollars today. Yea included a red bear made by Farnell Ooh, a Farnell bear in nineteen ten, mail and killing Me, That's crazy, and a Bobby Brewin Ooh made by Mary Thought in nineteen Bobby Brewin in nineteen thirty six.

Jesus, what is wrong?

What is wrong with piping? Gosh?

Did you?

I don't what a soup kitchen could do with seventy five thousand dollars.

But also the thing I was, it's like, what interest do you have that's so affecting to you that you are going to shell out levels of I mean obviously these just obviously swimming it, but like that idea of like I can't focus my mind on one thing long enough to even like love it, much less spend almost a one hundred grand on it just to have one version of like.

That's so crazy all the way. Because when I see a car in Los Angeles, which is the car eiest car capital of the United States that I know for a fact, is worth three hundred thousand dollars or more, in my mind instantly because I was broke for so long, thinks of how many months of rent I could pay, yeah,

I mean, and the driving experience, yeah, you're still a draffic The driving experience between a three hundred thousand dollars car and a thirty thousand dollars car is so miniscule, correct, it is so small. Ough.

I know somebody, no brag the bought a it was either a Maserati or a Lamborghini, one of those crazy ones. And they I was in the car with them. They drove it off the lot where we were working and immediately bottomed out yes hard yeah, and returned the car because it was like, oh, this is the only It's just going to be like this the entire time.

Where I'm like, right, these are race cars for the racetrack.

Non Los Angeles with the potholes and the lunacy, Like what are you doing?

Also like those cars are so low to the ground that if you hit another car, that car just drives over you.

You're under the escalade.

You're just a ramp for an escalade to just launche itself off of.

It's also just it's like how drag queens just dressed like extreme femininities, like they take what is feminine goes to such an extreme that it becomes cartoonish, Like those hot rod cars and loud cars and race cars are the same thing. It's masculinely taken to this extreme. So it's just like parading themselves around, like look at me being the most man, and to me it reverses the whole thing. I'm like, you're a nerd. I would push you down the stairs if I could.

Here it is, are you ready? Okay?

So?

Uh seventy five thousand dollars in Elvis memorial auction in ex Tennessee. The Bears required twenty four hour uniform security and highly trained guard dogs. One Tuesday night, security guard Greg West and six year old Doberman Barney were on duty. While a distracted West was busy stroking Elvis's Teddy Barney went ape shit. Oh no, he just went berserk, said Daniel Medley, the general manager of the museum. West spent several minutes chasing Barney before wrestling him to the ground.

She was.

Ill ill, I mean real.

Yeah, Barney's massacre ripped bear heads and limbs from the toy animals and left stuffing all over the museum floor. Poor Mabel was decapitated. Quote. I've spoken to the bear's owner and he is not very pleased at all, he said. When asked about the fate of Barney, mister Medley said, quote dogs are now banned from the Teddybear collapse.

Yeah, I have to say I did.

I did not see it coming.

When you first started talking about this, I was like, of course, I forgot what the headline was, so I was kind of like, oh, what is this.

I thought it was someone.

Stole the bear, So I'm like, oh, what a robber's going to break into the situation, And it's like, no, of course, You've got a dog sitting there and stuffed animals.

That's all my dogs want to do.

Of course, And also that is why I chose the Instagram post from a history of Dogs, because every other one starts with dog destroys Teddy Bear, and it's like, if you don't want to, let's get into the story first. Now dom teddy bears are and then we'll get into the dog. Yes, seventy five thousand.

Dollars, it's I'm sure it's a great passion for many people. But like a Teddy Bear. I tried as a kid, did you guys have a bear or a blanket or something that was your companion? Karen? What was yours?

I did.

I had a little off brand Winnie the Pooh that was, and I had it for a long time.

I had it into adulthood. But it I used to carry.

It around in such a way that the nose got moved, like shoved up because I had it right in like on my side.

Kind of.

It was very comforting, just that this comforting perfect and it smelled perfect. It was the smell mostly that I love so much, and somewhere in my insane twenties it got lost, along with a bunch of other very meaningful things that I had with me but should not have and should have left at my parents' house. That one's a killer for sure.

Oh yeah. I breasted until I was three, so I didn't have any stompies. I just had breasts boobs. You had the real deal, yeah, the original, the original stuffed animal. I just could never get one of stick. I chied with a snoopy for a while. I just did stick. I just went to sleep too fast. I didn't need any comfort. I was just like my parents would throw like parties in the eighties, and they'd have friends over, and then they would be.

Like where where Scott where Scott? And I would already I would just walk into the bedroom and put myself to sleep and turn off the light. At like eight pm. I'd be like, I'm done.

You people, you people, Yes, it's a classic care killed garafly.

Oh you men, you, oh, you men.

You meant a little scotty saying that to a party full of eighties parents drinking a gin.

And tonics holding a little bread with a little futon on a long futon for you men. I just always like to sleep.

I thought you were going to ask, does either of us aren't collect anything?

Do you collect anything? Kurpiside surfboards?

No, just surfboards. But you know I only have ten I think ten, So I don't. I feel like that's a big collection.

Are you comp comparing yourself to Blanke Patch and his guitars and you're.

Like that that's nothing.

Ten's nothing. They do take up a lot of space.

Or Joe DeRosa and his everything. Like I went over and recorded a podcast and he had every video game console that they've ever made, and it took me so long to process. I kept looking at it like it was almost like stay like staging for an apartment, like, hey, look at all this came with the place. And I'm like, no, I don't have anything.

Man, do you collect anything, Karen?

I don't. Although it's funny because when you said stife, like that brand of stife Teddy Bear over the holidays that my hometown has turned into a little bit of like a it's like slightly fancy. So there's way more antique stores and then there ever were when I lived there.

I probably have a picture I can show you, but it.

Was stife and I immediately I like had to buy it immediately. It was like fifty bucks or something, and then I'm like, I bet you this will probably be overpriced, but I just love it and it's such a cool antique looking thing. It's also just kind of sweet because

You know what I mean.

You get into like identify it and then you're like, well then I am interested in it. As like, I don't have any interest in stuffed animals, but suddenly I was in.

Yeah, just from looking it up once. Yeah, and you're like, well, now I gotta get If my fucking line doesn't have articulated arms, I'm gonna lose my.

Mind, but I'm gonna order away.

I'm gonna send away to Germany and get the original.

I do wish I had a list of Like every once in a while, I'll say somebody that does rare books like that, Oh, this book that's an original one that they founded a yard sales worth eighty thousand dollars, like I do wish every I always want to get into that as like a hobby and go find rare books at a stake sales and stuff like that and sell them. Like I think that would be a fun side hobby to be like, oh, I found this really

Oh you'll do that when you're retired. Yeah, when you own a when you own a like a Tommy Bahama themed bar somewhere took him.

And also you have to memorize the list of all the most wanted books and the rarest. Like there's there's something too where you have to have the you have to have like the encyclopedic knowledge so you know what you're spotting that no one else knows. That.

I love that. I love that part of.

Either looking in like vintage stores or antique stores in that way where it's like, prove to myself I have the eye and then it's like this stif lion proves that I have good tastes. It's like, no, it's just old. I can tell it was old and kind of interesting.

We used to do that that. We used to do that in like the mid nineties with records, Like I remember going to like Bleaker Bob's in New York City and going in there and being like, oh, they have the they have the original X ray spex vinyl that's colored and like that's because it's been a re issue since nineteen eighty nine. And then they have the one from nineteen seventy nine, you know, and it's just like whoa. And then all of a sudden somebody was like napster and it was like burn it all down.

Yeah, they're in college. One of my roommates had the single of Toto's Africa on vinyl and the vinyl was shaped like the continent in Africa. Who it is, plastic shape like Africa, and you had to put it in the middle because it was on the outside it was just junk to junk to junk. But and I was like this that today was also with the weird resurgence of that song.

Yes, that must be worth worth a lot, at least eight hundred dollars, I.

Know, worth holding on to for twenty five years. I'll send us home with this one. Kristin Yeowitz KBG sent this in thank you, Kristin Yowitz kb Kelwitz. This was written by Nadine Abusada for News five Cleveland Real website. I'm checking it four or five times a dead. Nadine Abusada is the best in the business. Cars keep hitting his house and he's extremely over it. So I actually looked this up thinking it was about this other house

I feel like his deterrens are not working because they're crazy.

I feel like he may have gone crazy from having so many cars.

Yes, I don't understand. I've installed eight slide whistles along the road coming up and they keeps happening.

I know. So also, just get supply wood and build a ramp up towards your house and just have cars come right at and ramp right intoor of it.

So just say chicken shit and motherfuckers, please just do it.

Who cares?

Okay, your house is getting hit by speeding cars, you're allowed to cuss.

You cuss it up, John Gall, cuss up all bought froggers, the mother froggers mother, I've never actually heard that. For some reason, mother froggers, you mother frog and Jery mother frogging.

There was a Yeah, there was a snake's on a plane. One that was like, get these mickey ficky snakes off this Monday to Friday plane. I think that was it. That's good. Gall bought his home in nineteen ninety six, where his lawn now sits filled with wooden painted signs at the intersection. The signs read things like where's my guardrail? Speed bump seriously, and cowards won't talk. That is because in the past ten years, Gars have said four cars

It is like, where where does this man live that this keep I just was like picturing as it was, like, oh, that's right.

It's different parts of the house.

So it's like one time he's asleep in the front room and it goes into the kitchen. Then next time he's you know, over here in the bathroom and it's his garage. Like he must feel like he's being That must be insane.

Yeah, it's so crazy that every time you hear a car you're afraid.

So then you're like again, like having to complain that your house has been hit more than once is insane.

Two times would be enough for me, Like, and we're out here, use so much.

And when the cowards won't talk makes it ten times worse.

So bad, Just talk, you cowards.

Speed bump. Seriously, all he wants is peace of mind that a car won't come flying through his walls, and he believes a guard rail or a cement barrier would do that. He says, I'm kind of living on the edge. You know, as far as I'm concerned, this house is a giant target on its side, and the city has done nothing to alleviate that until then. He plans on

A delight, and you know what also has been a delight. Tell me having you Karen here as a guest.

Oh my god, I got I on this show.

Get very passive because I love listening to these stories and I just think about them and try to kind of problem solve within them. Or I'm just like, huh, it's like that story alone where I'm just like, should we all be calling the compatroller of that city in Cleveland? What do we do as a community to make it?

Can't he build?

Yeah?

Why can't keep up planters?

WHOA?

What about like planters are probably one hundred bucks each. If he gets four planters, fills them with dirt, big planters, big clay planters, fills them with dirt. That's gonna do it. That's gonna do it.

Help this man, help this.

How much as a the child, all I did in the summer was build ramps to ride bicycles off of it. Just finds some on plywood and some cinder blocks and just ramp your heart out. This guy, for five hundred dollars could be launching them into the neighbors houses and making it somebody else's problem. Yes, banana of the week, This guy's banana of the week.

Banana of the week.

Thank you, Karen, guys, thank you so much, and congratulations to the banana of the week.

And that's a bright spot in his crashed up house day right.

Oh yeah, he deserved it. He really earned that one. John Gall, this one's been for.

You, John Gall, We're with you.

But Banana's.

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The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.

Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.

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