Curty b how about I go first today?
Oh delight, what a dream of dreams.
The reason really is because this isn't a headline that's going to make you laugh and laugh and laugh. It's just a nice way to dive in to twenty twenty five. Meet the retired couple on a mission to visit every pub in Australia.
Oh that sounds like a delightful a bunch of people to meet.
That's right. Well, let's let's do a peaceful one.
Strap on your traveling shoes and get ready to stroll through this delightful episode of Bananas Bananas World.
Would you.
Billion pieces?
Would you got it? Guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to the to the delightful, relaxing lounge that is Bananas.
Yeah, let's just let's just kick up our feet and whatever you're doing wherever you are, just exhale, relax. Don't close your eyes if you're driving, but if you are driving, just exhale. Also, don't kick your feet up if you're driving. But let's all just agree to relax. This is going to be a simple episode where we just try to entertain you with strangeness and old school male friendship.
No news that will make you sad. Here, we're all gearing up. We're all gearing up for a bunch of new sad news. Guess what it's not here in this universe.
Nope, unlocked. I'm doing the door to.
The Bananas universe where everything is funny and very delightful.
Yep. So you're just gonna have to deal with feeling good for fifty to fifty three minutes. And sorry, but that's our.
I'm sorry, sorry, my apologies. Send across for me is the delightful and wonderful Scottie land Is.
And standing across from me is the one and only you know him. You love them, the big Banana hisself, Kurt Brown Older, How you doing, buddy.
I'm standing desk, folks. People, studies have come out. They don't help your health at all.
Oh see, I was thought sitting down was bad for you.
But still love a stand and desk. I still love a standing desk.
I like it too, I have one. I think they're great.
I think it's fantastic to go up and down. That's the trick. If it's just standing. If this was constantly, always standing, I.
Would get them.
I was sick and tired.
Of it.
Yeah, I don't mind.
I've never done a walking desk. That seems difficult for me as a writer. That seems like now it would slow me down.
I think I wonder if I could podcast while walking. I bet I bet you I'd be a better podcaster while walking.
We could try to do a walking episode. We could put batteries in the zooms and we can walk around. We can do a we can do a walk in chat.
Oh, let's do a walk in chat this year. Look at this. I love that.
Print out my stories and we'll just do a walk and chat. Yeah, we'll do an outdoors episode. That's great. We have a lot of nature lovers, so everybody's welcome this podcast. We're coming from around the world. Apparently eighty five countries listened to Bananas, So hello to eighty all eighty five and Kurt I picked this story. And I say that statistic because my Newyear's resolution this year is I want to have a margarita in Greenland.
Oh, okay, a margarite in Greenland. I don't like. All I know about Greenland is that the is nothing. I was gonna imagine something I know about Greenland, and I don't think I know anything other than Greenland is fill of ice, and Iceland's mostly green.
So I don't know anything either. And I thought about that the other day. I was, you know, sometimes you see a map in life, and I just went, look how big Greenland is. Yea, that is such a big country. I've never met one person from there. I don't know anything about it, but I did google are there bars in Greenland? Because I didn't know if there was some crazy political thing right here. I seriously know so little, so I'm gonna educate myself. I'm gonna sometime in twenty
twenty five fly to Greenland. There are plenty of bars with breweries, with local I'm gonna take some local Greenlandish beer, green beer, whatever it's called. Yeah, but I'm gonna go to Greenland. I want that stamp in my passport and I want to order martarita.
What city do you fly into in Greenland?
I have no idea, but one of the bars is in a town called it's ny U, UK, So I don't know how you say that. I would say Nuke or New UK. Yeah. So, but I'm gonna come back wisened Oh yeah, and I'm gonna do it. So next time I'm on these coasts. I'm just gonna figure it out. I'd guess you fly through JFK maybe, or Boston or Nova Scotia. So but that's my resolution, Margarita and Greenland. I can't wait.
You know, I continually have a day dream about moving somewhere that's cold most of the year, just because I do love those those landscapes, and I love that summer. That summer where like that summer in like northern United States or southern Canada is like so delightful because everything explodes in such a crazy way. You have enough water, all that sort of stuff. I mean, but the winter is a really, really long and I haven't done a winter in twelve years. Man, I don't know the first
winter after twelve years of no winters. That's a hard winter.
Yeah, and you're a get outside guy. You've become a get outside guy now.
Yeah, I know. But you know, in winter you just have to do the get outside things. You know, you have to ski, cross country ski, you have to ice fish, those sorts of things, which I'm all down to do. I used to surf in in New York during the winter. You know, I'm down with outside activities in the winter time.
I went one time working z red Bull. I was in western Massachusetts and we were told to go give out red bulls to a snowshoe race. It was it was very deep snow, and we drove like two hours up. It was up towards Pittsfield. It was pretty far up. Actually it was up near like Williamstown. It was pretty far up there, and we drove, drove, drove, drove, drove icy conditions, and I don't remember the exact number of racers, but the total number of people at the thing were
five people. So the race was like, there are five people there are they all snowshoes? And I think three of them raced and it was like my boss was like say what. I was like, yeah, so we gave out five red bulls. They were really grateful we were there. We were the only like corporate sponsor that was there. And my boss was like, that's awesome. Those are the connections we want to make. They'll never forget about it. I was like, oh, man, I suddenly realized I was
a cog in the corporate wheel. Yeah, we like go all the way out there. I think actually it might have been two people raced and then there were like two people there and then like one person got out of the car when we showed up and was like, what are you guys doing?
That's crazy?
That's I know.
Also, but also like, so as an employee of that corporate cog, did you feel because you don't give a shit if people drink red bull? Right, do you? Was it nice though, because you're just like, hey, we got to travel all the way up here and now we're just traveling back and we don't have to work for the rest.
Of the greatest. It was the greatest when I was doing it, and I was like twenty twenty one, twenty two. It paid pretty well for the time. I love driving and so a lot of times I'd be the driver. It was always at least two people, but the number of events that we went to, you know, kayak races, mountain climbing marathons, ultra marathons, haunted houses like you name it. When they were introducing the product to America, the whole job initially was wear street clothes, walk up to people,
talk to them, mention red Bull exists, then leave. That was the first wave for me and so and then yeah, and then I would walk back to the van and be like, oh, here's one, and I'd like give them one and be like, have a nice day, guys. I'd like we would sample secretly by hanging out with people. That's and then they made you know, the that was in like vans, and then they had the cars with the giant cans on it, and then all the dudes.
Around the time I was in brook and Queens when you and I were friends and you were teaching improv at Red Bull or for Red Bull. Uh, they started letting all the guys to go and only having women drive the Mini Coopers and the steer Boggins and stuff. But it was, yeah, the number of experiences. Overnights went to Savannah for the first time, Savannah, Georgia for the first time, went to Oh I have I've told the story about when I went to Talladega and yeah, so
I went to Talladega for the Remembers. So we get sent because Alabama they were like, hey, they didn't have a team yet, and then they sent me and this other dude, Carl, nice guy, to teach and train the new hires at the Birmingham team. You got a per diem of like sixty dollars.
A day and love a per diem and it.
Was so great. And Carl was like experienced, he had more jobs in life experience than me. So he goes, this is what we do. We had a one dollar or two dollars a bagel and then we go get a fifty eight dollar dinner every night. And I'm like, this is so genus because also in Birmingham, Alabama, in two thousand and four, fifty eight.
Dollar dinner is an eight course meal.
Best restaurant, best restaurant they got, and it was so good. And so anyways, one time they were like, you guys are going to Talladega and I was like, okay, I had heard of it, but I don't follow NASCAR, but I knew it was a big one. And it's like the whole identity of Alabama before.
Nights it was.
It was before I think it was, but I So we drive out there. We have so the big Ford Explorer version they had. I think we had put something like one hundred cases of red Bull on ice that morning, so that's right, it's twenty four Kansas case. It was a lot of red Bull. We pull into the biggest tailgate I've ever seen in my life. The race has already started and you can hear it, but the number of like RVs and campus it's unthinkable.
Until you see it very large, right, Yeah.
It's it's crazy. Intalladega is like a wild race, super proggressive race, and it's deep South. And so we pull up and we're sampling. We sampled out all one hundred cases in about thirty minutes, and then we were there for yeah, and because people in racing sort of knew what Red Bull was like it had been other places, and so we just got to hang out. So I was walking around. We were over nights. My boss wasn't there,
so people were offering us beers and stuff. So I was like, all right, let's just hang out and tailgate because we didn't have tickets, just we were only there for the ticket.
That's great.
It was incredible. And at some point, you know, I was working, so I was like, I can't get drunk, and so we're like walking back and the other teammate I was with were walking back to the car and I just see this man, undoubtedly southern, I would get put him at about five foot six, five foot seven, as skinny as somebody you can be. But muscular, shirtless, shoeless, glassy eyed, red, glassy eyes, sunburnt as if he.
Was a little piece of bacon, popped.
The sun on the nose and then flew back to earth. And he's wearing daisy dukes, or he was wearing gene cut off shorts. I guess they weren't quite as short as dukes. And he's stumbling towards the Red Bull car because he sees it and he thinks it's beer. He thinks it's alcohol because it looks like alcohol. Yeah, And so I'm like, oh god, here it comes, and I'm like, just just get in the car. We'll just go. Let's
just get in the car. And he's coming out about fifty yards and like forty yards and like thirty yards and then just walking dead towards the Red bullcan not saying anything like a light smile's face, and then he just stops and pisses his pants or pisses his shorts, and we were like, okay, time to go. And I think we were gone within I don't know nine seconds. It was such a and they were like no, don't you know, people like don't worry about him, don't worry
about him. You're like, Okay, I'm slightly worried about zomb the urinating, sunburned zombie walking towards my giant beacon of alcohol. It was a good time, but that was Yeah, it was my first time going to Talladega and seeing it and we're probably there, I don't know, a few hours, five hours, six. It was pretty amazing, isn't it.
When you're in your twenties and you get to travel for a job, it feels like you figured out the biggest scam agreed in the world. I only got to do it a couple times in my twenties, but every time I was just like, well, well, well, what a delight.
The per diem is game changer. Even now, if I get one on a TV show or movie set, I'm like, so all my food is free every day and you just treat you. I never forgot that lesson.
You know, what they've been starting to do with per Diem is just put it into your paycheck, and I'm just so angry about that. I'm just like, no, no, no, no, no, I want it in cash right here, right now, because that is the It's the best part of this is that I don't have to spend my own money on food while I'm while I'm in Bulgaria.
You're damn right, it's the best. Yeah, you go to waffle House, you eat the All Star Special for five ninety nine, and then you go get yourself a great fifty dollars dinner somewhere. Anyways, here's a story Da muse Fitzomos, which is a great Greek name. Damus Fitzomos is awesome last name. Thank you for sending it in. You can always send your stories directly to us Instagram at The Bananas Podcast are on Gmail. The Bananos Podcast at gmail dot com.
Moose Damus damusz on fire.
Let's yes, this was on broadsheet dot com, which is a very good looking website by the way, written by it is it's like pretty nice written by Madeline Walman, who's when you're talking pub crawls, she's the best in the beeswax. Meet the retired couple on a mission to visit every pub in Australia. Retirement looks different for everybody. Mike conjure up images of moving broad spending time with
the grandkids, volunteering or diving into hobbies. For many Australians, the retirement dream involves selling the nest and becoming gray nomads, traveling around the country in a camper van. Yeah, I didn't know that. You probably knew that.
Uh yeah, Nomad's it's in a bluey episode. That's why the gray Nomads are coming.
Oh that's fine. Honestly, sounds pretty good. Yeah, are you kidding? A big island?
I would love it.
Yeah, you would love it. I would love it too. But Andrew and Ursula great, I love an ursula. You just don't meet Ursul's anymore. Andrew and Ursula Keith are taking it one step further. The retired couple has been on the road since twenty nineteen with a personal mission visit every pub in Australia. Is there my list? Is there a list? Okay, yes there is. That's a great question.
It was my idea Ursula Tell's broadsheet. Crazy when I think about it now, Andrew continues, we had so many people tell us there's just no way that it's impossible to do it. But just because nobody's ever done it doesn't mean it's not possible. There's a first for everything. Great banana's attitude, Yes, honorary bananimals. These two Andrew or Nursula.
So in the initial stages of planning their pursuit, the couple used pub Location, a catalog of Aussie pubs, only to find out it hadn't been updated in a decade.
Come on, Publication, you can't have the best name in the biz and not do the work.
What are you doing? Why people that started it? What got so busy that you can't update? Also, are pubs opening in the thousands? It's like no, there's probably a couple of new ones every year. Anyways, the couple used Publication a calog of Vossi pubs on you find out it hadn't been updated in over a decade. Instead, they went old school, cross checking government websites and spending hours mapping out their stops and ensure no pub went unvisited.
And there so is is a pub a specific definition in Australia or is it just any bar?
Hmmm? You know they a little later in this art Okay. The venues must have a hotel. Oh they had guiding print. Pair's three guiding principles. The venues must have a hotel or tavern license. The couple must have at least one drink at each place. Why would you go a pub and not drink, said ursula. Exactly great, that's exactly right, that's the ursula gets it, and the document the document.
Uh oh, and they must document their visit with a photo uploaded to a dedicated Instagram page, covering at least three venues each day. The adventurous pair has clocked two thousand, nine hundred and four pub visits at the time of this writing, and should hit the big three thousand in Albany before the end of the year.
And how many total are there that they need to visit.
It's I think it's over four thousand. I think somewhere.
Oh my god, they're almost done.
Oh no, no, there's five thousand. Okay, cool.
Still they're doing great.
What a great adventure. Three a day is pretty damn good.
So yeah, when they have a pub day, right, I mean they've got to do other things, but I guess they're just drinking three drinks a day.
I love it driving their house. When you're driving your house, yeah, anything is possible. Yeah, you drink one, you drive, you drink, the next one you drive, you drink, the third one you sleep in the parking lot in your house. You're rolling house.
Also in Australia you can get little drinks. You can get little beers too.
Man, don't you love a pony bottle. If somebody gives me a pony bottle like Miller High Life, I drink that thing and I'm like, oh, I could drink a hundred of these, And then you drink and you're like, it's fine.
Very cold. I have found you know what I've been, I've gotten. I was a big beer drinker when I met you, I was yeah, and then I just stopped. Stopped around the time that I uh dated in Australian because they she just drank so much. I couldn't keep up drinking beer because I'd just be like, my Beley is too bloated. So I started drinking vodka and I've just never stopped. But I just I got back into beer just through spotting. I love having a spot in that uh oh, red Lion. We've just been going to
Red Lion recently and I get a German lager. Delightful, delightful.
That Instagram If anybody does want to follow them and tell them the Banana Boys sent you and we're going to follo him and root them on too. It's Kezy pub Adventures and Keysy is k e E s e Y. I believe that's their last name, Ezy pub Adventures. So give them a follow and they have almost ten thousand followers. They're very cute and seemingly very happy. All the photos cart are them like touching heads smiling in front of pubs. That's like just leaning into each other, and their smiles
are almost exactly the same. It's it's so you actually have to look at the pub because they're doing the exact same pose in everyone, and so you find yourself looking in the background. According to the key C's, the recipe for a perfect pub is simple. You need a good public first start. That's essential. We went into one shitty looking pub in New South Wales, parked the motor home and the publican was sitting out front with his patron shrinking a beer. He saw us coming and asked
us what we do. Straight away, he got behind the bar and said, listen, shut the fuck up, everybody. These legends are doing every pub and everyone cheered. We felt like rock stars.
Shut the fuck up everybody.
These are legends doing every pub and everyone cheered. While Pokey's are a no, no, really good staff, great locals, just always want to have a chet community, live blah blah blah poke in, it says, while Pokey's are a no no, that's what it says.
You just blew through? What while Pokey's are a nod?
While poke I hope you?
Does that mean just like poking your head in? I bet you that's what.
I bet you.
That's what it means, like poking your head into not having a.
Drink, right or not right? It says Pokey's are a no no. Really good staff, have great locals who want to have a chat community and live music are musts. I don't know, We'll have to look Australian animals. What does wild pokes are? No no mean d ms. We'll share it in our stories.
I'll look it up. What does pokes mean?
What does we have so many ok I E s? Yes, classic Pokeys, We've had so many pubs tell us that since COVID they've stopped live music. But COVID finished years ago. It feels like an excuse.
It's a poker machine. Oh, they just put the I E on the end of everything. That is so Australian there, you know. Motorcycle gangs are called bikey gangs, which is makes them sound adorable. Yeah, incredibly violent over there, and they are just adorably named bikey gangs.
That is so funny. Adelaide. Oh so here's this is also a nice thing. Here are some of their favorites because they've been to two thousand and nine and four ok. Adelaide's General Havelock is a favorite, as is Clancy's Fish Pub in Fremantle. I want to go if they want to go to both of these.
They don't publish a book. I mean I hope they got a book in the works because I would want that, Like if I'm going to Australia, I want that book, and I want to go to all the pubs that they like.
I know, this should be called a thing. It should be called like the Kisi Crawl or something. And then, but more often than not, it's the thirst thwarting pubs of tiny towns that tick all the boxes, like Queensland's Ninda Gully Pub. I mean, who doesn't want to get sauced at Ninda Gully Pub?
And probably you can probably get a meat pie with your drink there. Meat Australian meat pies are so good and delightful. It beats a hot dog. Honestly, it beats a hot dog, oh so much better.
It has been easy in the windsor motor home they've dubbed Pubsy. So they just named their caravan Pubsey.
I love that. That's great.
Why or think it? Why? Over instant first thought, best thought, This is pobsy. Get in, babe, We're gonna go drinking. The Keysies have driven through creek beds, along flooded dirt roads and dirt standstill traffic, and navigated a global pandemic, not to mention motor home repairs, all just to get to the pub, but for the positive pair of their drinks, typically a Guinness or an espresso martini.
For Ursula, that.
Those are really having another moment.
By the way, they are so much having them.
They're everywhere, is so popular.
I have never had one. It seems too sweet.
You would love one. I feel all those drinks. Yeah, they're also they can get you a little pumped up, and that's fine too, But they are truly having a moment. Or they like local beers on tap or gin and tonic. For Andrew, I think that's great. And so five years into their ten year mission, here I'll wrap it up with this. They've now gone to a pub in Queensland, South Australia, Northern Territory, in the bulk of Western Australia under their belt. We're two years ahead of schedule, Andrew says.
The pair has developed a bit of a reputation. Eagle eedpublicans anticipate their arrival, usher them in and eagerly pour them each a drink on the house that rules. In fact bartenders, no publicans know they are and are like, get in here and are celebrating it. This is great spirit.
I love this energy. Over the final few weeks of twenty twenty four, so that'll be twenty thirty five, their followers will see them continue their journey throughout Western Australia, returning to Sydney for a brief break, and then they say, we're going to do our four thousandth pub in Victoria and our five thousandth in Tasmania, and then eventually we're going to finish at the Rocks in New South Wales, says Andrew. They've got nothing but time, open road and thousands of pints ahead of them.
Oh that sounds so great. Also, the driving in Australia is is legend. It is so crazy because everything's just far away, especially in Tasmania. Like if you go out to like these little little places you can be driving on, like the road to It is a dirt dirt road that you have to drive down for like three hours in it's crazy. Whoa, yeah, it is, really is. It is a delightful adventure. Good they're gonna we're gonna do
their last one in Tasmania, maybe in Hobart. That makes sense in Hobart to go do it at the South or.
Yeah, or they said, uh oh no, the last one's gonna be at the Rocks in New South Wales. So ban animals in Australia will keep following on Instagram and go meet up with them. If they're in your town, go buy them a beer. That seems so friendly and nice and social and also let's just Andrew and Nursula keys Bananas of the week.
Hell yeah, you know. My most surprising thing. I think one of the most surprising things I found about Australia is how much they value good coffee.
I did not know you were going to say that, right, No, it's it's against everything, like you don't and they're they're like, oh, well, you haven't had you know, you haven't had an Australian cappuccino.
And then the cappuccinos are like just amazing. They're just so good. They're like they you know, it's like rivals being in Italy or in France. That was in Melbourne at least, I don't know about the other places, but they was, and everyone would talk about it like this. But also they didn't understand that I wanted three shots over ice with some milk. Like everyone was like, what what do you want? And it was like three shots over ice with some milk, and they're like that doesn't
not a drink here. I'm like, well, we're gonna make it one.
Yeah, it's pretty easy to make. It's two poles and I'm gonna drink it and milk comes from a cow and it's pretty easy. That's but that's such a fun adventure. What a great I mean, that's a fun retirement. I almost hope that they like slow down and enjoy it a little bit more. They're they're really racing through it, like maybe they need to start doing like two bar two pubs a day, not three. You gotta stretch this out. They look pretty fit. They look pretty fit. Indeed, that's
a great one. Also, you I haven't old or I have a story I haven't done yet. That'll do for a second story about coffee. Since you brought that up, I think you're gonna like it.
Nice, Okay, do it?
Do it?
I want to hear it.
You just want me to dive in.
Yes, Scotty, why don't you? Why don't you just tell us another one?
I'm loving all right, we'll do a double dip. But there's no rules. We make the rules on bananas and there are no rules. Just get nicer, not meaner. That's our whole thing. Marmoda eight sent this in thank you. I double checked this, actually triple checked this because of the website, Kurt Okay, and also the writer of this article. They made me say, let me do a little deeper dive Google. This was on Oddity Central.
Oh yeah, I guess you got a double check Odity Central every once in a while, don't you.
Well, when it's written by Spooky, you want to look into it. I mean, Spooky's good. Don't get me wrong.
I don't think it's the first time we've done a spooky article on Oddity Central.
Me too. And when Spooky tickles those lovely typing keys, they he she, maybe it's a robot. I don't know, right, really well, like very good journalism, peak stuff best in the bees. At nine hundred and twenty eight milligram caffeine per serving, the world's strongest coffee is not for the faint of heart.
What nine hundred and twenty eight.
Milligram caffeine per serving the world's strongest coffee is not for the feint of heart?
Oh, you would have a heart. I mean like if I have two hundred or two fifty milligrams and I drink a lot of coffee.
And you're a big guy, that.
That definitely could kill you. Nobody's drinking this.
Or are they? Biohazard coffee is recognized as the strongest coffee in the world. It has a caffeine content of nine hundred twenty eight milligrams per twelve ounce cup. That's a small cup, which.
Is more beliefs. That means one sip is like having a cup of coffee.
I know. It's so good, truly banatas which is more than double the daily recommended dose of caffeine and a lot more than your average energy drink. The title of world strongest coffee has been attributed to various brands over the last decade. In twenty thirteen, we wrote about Death Wish, a blend that promised two hundred percent the caffeine content of most average dark roasts. Shout out to our friend Aaron Erman and Page Roasters and Champagne Illinois, Champagne Alan most of the country.
Aaron just let us know that someone was ordering some coffee from them and said, hey, by the way, I heard about John Bananas, so little Bananimal community is pretty.
Cool, pretty good. They promised two hundred percent of the average dark roast. Then there was Black Insomnia Coffee. They're good at naming their roasters, that's for sure, a brand that boasted caffeine content of seven hundred and two milligrams per twelve ounce cup. But now we have another title holder, and this one is going to be difficult to beat.
It was long unch In twenty sixteen, Biohazard Coffee has established itself as the strongest coffee money can buy anywhere in the world, with caffeine content that barely makes it safe to consume.
Okay, okay, wait, you can actually buy this. I'm looking it up.
Like biohazard coffee. There's a website and everything. That's what I looked up. I was like, there's no way, man, it's it's way. The Food and Drug Administration recommends up to four hundred milligrams of caffeine per day for adults with no increased risk factors like heart disease, also mentioning that rapidly consuming around one two hundred milligrams of caffeine is enough to induce excuse me, DEI induce poison like
symptoms such as seizures. With a caffeine content of nine hundred and twenty milligrams per twelve ounce cup, biohazard coffee is definitely a risky beverage to consume. So but animals don't consume this.
No, no, it exists not And I'm happy I looked it up and it's it's beans. You get a beans or you can get a ground. I'm so happy that it's not a can of uh of like that a kid could get to, because I definitely would when as a teenager, I would be like, that's all we were obsessed with, like Joel, it was just drink Joel, and you know, I would have totally been like we gave Jimmy three cans of biohazard and then his heart exploded.
I know four loco, the original four logo went hard. I only drank that twice, I think once with you, and I loved it. Yeah it was. It was pretty wild. But people drink four of those and you're like, see you in the er.
It would Those would be the wildest nights, the four Loco nights where it was just like, we're just gonna do it it crazy.
Oh yeah, we did too. And then they switched the recipe up and college kids drank them till they died. It was a tragedy. It should not have happened, but it did. Treat bio hazard coffee and animals like like walking up and slapping a gorilla in the face. Yeah, you could certainly do that. You could, but do not do that. It is not going to end well for you or anybody involved. We wanted a good jolt of energy for our long days without having to sacrifice the taste.
Biohazard co founder Yona tan pinn Hazoff said about creating the world's strongest coffee after countless hours of drinking horrible tasting coffee that promised high energy levels. We decided to take it into our own hands. We thought about all the other people that were just like us, self starters, parents with long days, grad students, eight hour workday people.
How could we just make this better for everyone? You know, just lower doses of lower caffeine, just enjoying cups of coffee throughout the day might be a little better, would be my vote. I don't even like. Well, we'll get into this in a second. A warning on the package.
Let's consumers know that, at nine hundred and twenty eight milligrams per two amounts, this coffee contains four times the caffeine of the coffee your barista normally serves you, and that it may result in overproductivity all nighters in the occasional feeling of invincibility. I mean, yeah, well they're targeting speed freaks.
Yeah, man, so you know what they have at seven eleven. I just found out, no idea. It's pretty dope for people who because like seven eleven or things like it, are oftentimes on road trips the only place you can get a cup of coffee you need to stay awake to keep driving, that sort of thing. So they now have little you know, like the little creamers they have, so instead of a little creamer, it's a shot of
espresso and it's just there with the cream. So when you get your regular drip coffee, you can just pour in like three or four shots of espresso into your regular coffee. And that is exactly what I've been looking for in coffee from a gas station for forever, because it's always not strong enough.
Sometimes things work out, you know, sometimes things get better, and that sounds like an upgrade. I haven't had a seven eleven coffee in a while, but I do remember being pretty good.
It's fine. I mean there's different types of it now and they have like cappuccino and espresso. You know, it's pretty good.
Like you said on a road chip, I'm sure in Japan they rule. I'm sure the seven elevens are so great. Oh yeah, they have the best ATMs. It's a great place to be. Biohazard recommends that use our coffee after building up a high tolerance and proceed with caution, noting that this is not coffee for the faint hearted. I mean,
it's crazy, Biohazar. Here we go. This will give it some wee real world comparisons biohazard coffee contains more caffeine by volume than almost every energy drink, although the latter energy drinks contain taurine and other stimulants. But still, nine hundred and twenty milligrams is oh. Here, Just to put in perspective, a sixteen ounce McDonald's coffee contains one hundred and fifty milligrams. Okay, so that's sixteen ounces one fifty.
So there's this twelve nine to twenty eight. And then I was a red Bull guy eight point three whatever, eight point four ounce can of Red bull is only eighty milligrams, so this is like, this is like almost what eleven eleven red red bulls. Yeah, eleven and a half Red bulls.
Eleven and a half Red bulls. Imagine. That's a great way to put it in perspective.
So don't drink it. Just know it's there.
Just know it's there.
Have enjoy lower octane coffees for longer throughout the day, and you don't need to go for four hundred milligrams.
Guys, but what was your first coffee, first coffee ever?
Yeah?
Well, I briefly dated an architect who drank.
Dated a coffee detect.
Yeah, you met her. I won't I won't name her, but you met her. She was really nice and back in New York.
Architects seems like a like a like a job that only exists in movies for me, like, I don't think I've ever met I guess I have met an architect, but my god, I've always like I I would.
Love it was very lovely. Her friends were very boring. I thought the same thing, like whenever you read something there, you know, you read a page turning beach read, it's like the studley guy or the smart gal is always an architect. That's the sophisticated one, and then all the dinners. Her friends were extremely boring. She was very nice and lovely. That's why I'm not naming her. But she in college,
in architecture school or whatever. She would stay up late drafting with her other students, and they got hooked on instant coffee. So not like Sanka, but Tanka, and so she used to come over and make that. Because I didn't drink coffee until I was like twenty eight.
Are you kidding me?
I didn't start drinking coffee until my first TV job because I would fade in the afternoon at that hot office that you worked in for Mega driving money from changers. And I wrote through the winter. So when I started in probably October, sun was setting, you know, four forty five, and then it felt like the sun was hiding behind the buildings at I don't know three. So I started drinking half cups of coffee at lyon TV on Hudson.
And now I love it, and now I can drink it pretty much as much as I want, Like I won't go out and drink two giant coal brews, but coffee just has a very pleasant effect and I greatly enjoy one or two cups a day.
Okay, what about you? I was twelve years I was twelve years I was about to joke, were you seven years old?
I was twelve years old and getting ready for school in the morning with my mom. And my mom something happened where like I dropped something or she dropped something, and I just said fuck. And then it was the first time I ever cursed in front of my mind. Oh. And she looked at me and I was like, oh, no, I'm going to get in trouble, and it was like like a three count and then she just goes, you want a cup? Of coffee.
That's a great story.
And then we went into the kitchen and like that was the day I became a mayo, like it was. And then it was like I was allowed to curse in the house and and I drank coffee every morning.
It was awesome. It was like it was a great story.
I can't believe I've never told it. I thought I told it on the podcast.
You may have the god, but I forgot it. If you did, man, that is so good.
Yeah, I remember. It was just I thought i'd get in trouble and she didn't. She just offered me a cup of coffee.
Yeah. Man, that's your next that's your next cold open of whatever TV highlight you. Right, that's such a great scene. Tells you everything about the kid, tells you everything about the mom. Yeah, that's a great man, that's a good I love that good old barber just cranking out the coffee to twelve year old pirate mouth Kurt Brown Owler her pride, enjoy the apple of her eye.
And then we were just but you know, we're like just buddies. Then you know, it's just like then we're like all right, here we go. Also, at that time, I was like six ' two, do you know what I mean? So it's like your twelve year old who's gigant A giant also seems a lot older.
Yeah, I wish there was the TV trope whenever anybody visits anybody usually detectives or whatever. But it's just like a cup of coffee or it's like just put some on or I can make them real quick. It's like coffee does take a little while.
Yeah, if the if detectives show up at my house anytime, I'm not gonna be like you want a cup of coffee?
Us? I don't want to.
That's a long long period of time to have the cops entertained in your home.
I'm not even unchaining the front door. I'm gonna be like what and then can I talk to you? I'm like no, And I'll put two of those seven to eleven espresso pods out the door with my left hand and drop it near their shoes and then slowly close the door and never.
Don't want to be inhospitable No.
Also, maybe we're just raised wrong or something, But like if you swung by and I wouldn't be like, do you want a cup of coffee? I'd be like do you want a beer or I'd be like, hey, I can make you a martini real quick. I guess we're just alcoholics. No, but I think we I just can't imagine putting coffee on for somebody at like five pm, yeah, and sitting there and holding with two hands.
But also the coffee, the coffee after dinner. Coffee used to be so much weaker that you could have a meal, have a couple of drinks, then drink coffee, and then go directly to bed.
That's correct. That's crazy that my grandparents always woul drink. My grandma would drink a cup of coffee after dinner.
As an older person too, who would be like more sensitive to caffeine. Is it is wild? I just got I just got kind of a little excited because tonight is Tonight's the last weekly hot tub.
I'll be there.
It's uh, it's just hours away for me. Currently, this will be far in the past by this time, by the time this comes out, But I kind of am. I'm very excited about it.
Yeah, good, you should be. It's a very exciting thing.
Yeah.
I'm going to get there early. I think I mentioned to you before. I'm going to get there I'm gonna get there like six thirty.
Yeah, that's uh, that's good. I will also try and reserve those two seats at the end of.
Yes, the bathroom seats. I think Rachel's is covin Albertina. I think I think a lot of people. Maybe the Levano says it's gonna be fun.
Yeah, okay, so a little story, little little story for me.
You got a little news story. Yeah, I got a couple.
I got a couple.
We might only need one, but maybe do too.
Yeah one, I'll do this one. Since we've been doing drinks, this this just yels in line with what we've been doing.
I'm excited.
Bob Miller High Life's new perfume smells like a dive bar. Quote in a good way by a ton of people. Thank you to everyone who sent this in. This was in Food and Wine, So that's I love always reading the dumbest articles in Food and Wine. Yeah. This was written by Stacy Leska. Oh stay, Stacy, have you ever thought, man, I really wish I could smell exactly like my favorite dive bar. Well, guess what my love? Now is your
time to shine. On Tuesday, Miller High Life announced its plans to release a brand new perfume that mixes all the essential sense of a neighborhood dive bar. Honestly, I want this, I kind.
Of do want it for you.
And it's called what else Miller High Life dive bar fume. It's a great idea, and this isn't a scent for any old time of year. According to a statement by the brand, the premium fragments is somehow also ideal for the holidays. We're not cut sure why or howbit will take it. According to Miller High Life, the perfume quote captures every familiar dive bar sent from the satisfying crack of a freshly opened beer to the comforting, savory taste of classic bar snacks. That's a lot to take in
the quote. Transformative blend, it added, includes notes of cedarwood and pechuli. Yeeee okay, so every spritz takes you. You know what, Patchuli isn't a bad smell on its own. It's the fact that every time I've ever smelled patchuli, it has been on a person who has not taken a shower in a long time. And so the smell of pachuli is always mixed with the smell of body odor, and that smell is not a fun smell but pachuli itself.
Okay, okay, yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah, I go with you on that one quote.
So every sprits takes you back to that well loved bar top and tobacco and leather, which are meant to evoke the comforting musk of worn in barnstools, or tobacco and leather. There are also notes of chompaca blossom.
Mm.
You know what, A lot of time I'm looking for that perfect smell. I'm always going for a chump paca blossom. Yeah, me too, for that crisp refreshing aroma. They say the eighth year of marriage is chumppaca blossom, that crisp refreshing aroma. When the bartender crieks open. I'm just reading. I'm reading marketing copy right now from Miller High Life and a
little whisper of sea salt. This is insane, okay. So all these quotes and the sea salt is from the basket of fries you look forward to at the end of the night. So what the actual smell is if I take out all of their marketing quotes. Cearwood Petulli, Champaca, blossom, sea salt. It could. It might not be that bad. They're not gonna make it smell bad, that's the thing.
Yeah, that's interesting, cedar. Anybody who's ever had like, you know, durables or closets with moths in it, Cedar, So you can go a lot of ways. I don't know if that's an ease into the evening smell. But then again, maybe this is a proprietary blend that I would enjoy with both nostrils. But also, no dive bar smells like that. No, every dive bar does smell the same. You can walk into it smells like years and years and years of alcohol soaking in the wood getting mopped with the same
type of cleaners. Yeah, and then the next night the same thing again, with like a little dash of blood and a little dash of vomit and a little dash of the mildew of having so many fluids inside a closed area.
There is.
It doesn't smell gray in a die bar. And I love dive bars.
I love dive bars. It's not a smell you would want on your body.
I think rustick in which the great wings that place is so interesting because I love rustic In. It's a it's a bar out here. If you want to get Buffalo Wings in Los Angeles, you rustic In is a great experience, and I recommend it's got great parking. It's next to a Chinese restaurant called China Dynasty that has my ties that we call Chai Daimities, And if you drink three Chai Daimities, you might never get up off the floor. You might need biohazard coffee to feel alive again.
Is it called China Dynasty. I thought it was called Chai Dynasty.
It is, it's Chai Dynasty. Yeah, Chai Daimiti is a delicious drink.
I had no idea that the end of my tie there. I'll definitely go get that much.
Oh Curdi Bee, take the family, get everybody some sesame chicken and some noodles, and then you just sit over there. It looks like it's just fruit juice. And yeah, they are good, they're strong.
Oh that sounds delightful. I'm interested in knowing what it smells like. If anyone got any I just looked on the website. Can't get them sold out. I couldn't find I mean gone in a second. That is gone in a second.
Well, every company now just makes a thing. Everybody's making stuff. Yeah, you know the ranch bag you gave me two or three years ago. Incredible. I get compliments all the time, all the time, I'm sure right, And nobody even says you must really like ranch Now. People just go that's fun or that's awesome, or where'd you get that? Like my friend gave it to me. It's a but now everything you know they made drinkable mayo, they made wine
out of mayonnaise. That's a story. We got a lot. Uh, They're just every product is making some other thing.
I went to, uh did a show in Boulder recently opening for Kamal And then we went to a bar. We went to, like a very fancy bar. What's it called. Oh, there's one here, there's one here. It's like the classic.
Applebee's some small.
No, I can't remember it. And I asked them and the server was very nice, and I asked her if what her like like this is these are the kinds of things I like, you just make me something like that. And she's like, here's what the bartender made you And it was tomato gin. Have you ever had tomato gin?
Yes?
I have actually, oh, Dead and Co. That's what that's.
Oh yeah, Death and Co.
Death and Yeah, Dead and Co.
Grateful Dead Death and Company. Yeah.
Yeah. And they had tomato gin and it was not my style, not for me, pretty gardeny, real tomato.
Yeah.
And if it's not with other tomato things, it's too TOMATOI did what.
Keywords did you give that server to talk to the bartender?
Like? I like gin and vodka and crispness. That's what I said. I don't want anything sweet. And then the tomato gin is sweet. I didn't know you could just make gin with whatever you found in the bottom of like your fridge.
I do love a martini. It's a fun martini time. I don't know if i'd want to do it with a tomato gin martini, but it's close to bloody Mary at that point. Yeah's funny. You were like, I wake up early. I love putting my hands and feet in soil. They're like, okay, we think we know. I enjoy cheeseless pizza. I They're like, shut up, we know. Just the thing an undrinkable beverage that's gonna cost you nineteen dollars. There's really good olive oil gin, and really it is. Damn
you would love it. It's so good.
I always thought gin was one thing, and it's that very aromatic, very herbal.
Taste to the gin, junipery juniper.
Yeah, that's the only thing that I've had, and now there's all these other and I'm like, oh, I don't I think. I think gin is delightful. Now a gin marti. I always gould to get a vodka martini. A gin martini is nice if you ask them to do put a little cucumber in there. That's nice.
Yeah, that is nice. I go Citadel gin okay, and Noilely Pratt vermuth. Wow, that combination, okay, is life changing.
All right, that sounds very good. I'm gonna try that next time.
I'll make sure I have some. Yeah. Noilely Pratt is this French vermouth, and I think Citadel is French gin. And that combination. You can do it up with a twist. I don't even sometimes let's put an olive in it just to make it look like.
A martini, no matter what, even if it's supposed to be up. I love it, Scotty do, Yeah, go ahead.
I was gonna say we should do another Musso and Frank Night. We should expand it out. We should do like a six person instead of just a or we'll do like quadruple or something. Yeah, we should do another Musso and Frank hearing us all this Martinis, we need to go where the old Hollywood elites used to hang.
That sounds good. This will be coming out probably at the end of Dry January for a lot of people. I think I'm going dry January.
Oh, I'm dry sixty nine ing for sure this year. That's my other resolution besides drinking in Greenland. After that Marguerite and green I am gonna dry sixty nine. And congratulations to everybody who did I know we just talked about booze quite a bit and that chunk. But good for you for everybody who yeah, got off and a lot of them stayed off.
Well, thank you, Scotty. Second episode of the year, pal.
I'm ready in the books. Thanks everybody for listening. You can always leave us a five star review on Spotify or Apple. It would mean the world to us. It makes such a big deal. So if you have any free time this week and you think about the Banana Boys and you haven't left a five star review, We greatly appreciate that this has been banas Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgarriff and Georgia Hartstart
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern