Scott You ready, Oh, I'm ready to love and love and love. You know what we're doing today. We're just doing a list of discontinued Guinness World records.
That fell off, that are no longer records.
Yeah, because they're too dangerous.
Okay, So we're just gonna lists of world records. Well, we've remained the best of the best when it comes to the business that we call bananas.
Your world of would you my sillion pieces?
Would you.
Banaa banana?
Bana, guys, gowns, non binary powers, Welcome to bananas. I'm sitting across, of course, the wonderful, delightful and talented Scotti Landis.
And I'm so across from the most dangerous man in podcasting, a guy who's just a hot take machine gun. Hide your ears, kids, it's Kurt brown Over.
My whole thing is hot takes. I think people, I don't know if I've ever had a hot taker my entire life.
I think about that all the time. All my takes are so medium. I just have medium mild takes, And honestly, we'd probably have a five times larger listenership of five times worse people. So I'll take what we have We're the Cold Take Boys.
We're the Cold Take Boys. I'm very excited about our guests today. She is such a goddamn funny stand up and a wonderful actor, great writer. She wrote on and starred in Steven Soderberg's mini series Commander Z, which is so cool and interesting and good with Worrywood and Michael Sarah. She has an award winning one woman show, Cheat, which is world renowned. At this point, I saw it.
Please, wonderful show.
Please welcome to the show, the wonderful Chloe Radcliffe.
Hello, welcome back.
Thank you for having me back.
We're happy to have you back. Thank you, grilled to be here.
The first time you were on, we didn't know each other. Now I call you a friend. Yeah, and I saw your show and we've talked about writing. And I mentioned before we start recording that I had the distinct privilege of taking you or meeting with you, I should say, at the Smokehouse and Burbank for Martini's and garlic bread.
Yes, and I had the unique pride of I think nailing the garlic bread secret ingredient yep, within like thirty seconds.
I'm and I'm not a good taster.
I'm not a good like foodie, you know, I can identify, and but I am from the Midwest.
Is so just is it just.
The powder from Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
That's our guess.
That's our guess. That's my guess as well. And that's who don't know.
It is like this garlic bread that comes out, it is just chemical bright, chemical orange and it's obviously sprinkled with something.
And that is that is a flavor that like, it doesn't matter if I can't get the like, oh the umami of the truffle mushroom, I like can't do any of that ship, But I am like, that's Kraft mac and cheese right there.
Yeah, also delicious. You and I knocked off an entire love together. What a true Yeah, you.
Just did Martini's and and bread. Yeah, that's the way they got.
That's two hours of just chit chats and industry talk, but also just a fun hang. But I have a hot take. I don't like truffle oil. When you said that the umami truffle oil, I think it's too overpowered.
I think I agree. I don't like truffle oil either. I am not interested.
Wow, I think it's fine, that's my medium. Take the medium.
Take when you were Scotty, when you were saying an audience that's five times wider but of five times worse people. I was like, oh, you're the Tonight Show of podcasts. But then yes, I don't know if we should leave that in or take that out because I did used to get paid by that show.
Anyway you wrote on the Tonight Show, I did, Oh wow, that's a good entry. That's the Really when you're a comedian and you get that gig, it's an awesome first job in entertainment. For sure.
It opened so many doors. It gave me so many things. It hallowed out my confidence in a way that it took me a full year to recover from.
Yeah.
Right, it scoured me out as a person. But no, but it really did give me so so so much.
It does. And if they call and say, hey, do you want to do a set? You go absolutely, oh my god.
Oh they called him, We're like we want you back for for one cycle. Because the cycles are thirteen weeks. So if they were like, come back for one cycle, I'd be like, of course, what am I gonna do?
Not get paid for thirteen weeks.
These days and delight.
Yeah.
Yeah, I would love to be there anybody. I mean I tell every comedian like, you should want that job. You should absolutely gun to have the work job and just know that it will be a it will be a you will.
Be hard to date during that job. Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good way to put it.
Yeah. Our friend did it for I don't know, eight years years, eight years. Yeah, and she was just like a machine about it, you know, but it was like it was definitely like it's a we never saw her show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How many times have you done stand up on the Tonight Show?
Kurt Oh?
Four? Three or three or four times?
Three or four?
Yeah, that's a big.
Deal, Scotty. How many times have you done stand up on the Tonight Show?
They asked me to leave once I was loitering outside and they threw some hot nuts at me. They I still have some scar marks.
But it was Jimmy Fallon who asked him. He yelled out the way from thirty Rove, get out of here. What are those hot nuts?
Well, welcome back. We're so glad to have you. How's the cheat run been your your one woman show? It seems like you're doing it all over the place.
I am.
I'm doing it only in New York and LA, but a lot in New York and LA. Actually not even that much.
It's it's funny because I'm doing all these one off shows and basically the goal with the show is the goal with the solo show as like an entity, is to get an off Broadway run, to sell it as a special, and to develop it into a TV series.
Great, and I have.
A TV deal on it, and like that, doesn't you know getting a TV deal is many, many, many steps from making a TV show.
But I'm you know, there's like progress in that.
The idea of selling it as a special is like way back burner, because if I can get a run, I would rather get the run first. And so right now I am like trying to get into the world of Off Broadway theater, and Jesus fucking Christ, I it is. It is hard to get in there.
Yeah, it is, well it is when they're like there. When there are you can count how many physical locations that require months and months of time to prepare for you to.
Be able to do it, and you can count how many producers work in the like I've now spent a year being like who are the producers in this space? And it's like, oh, I can now tell you the eleven people who work in this world.
Yeah exactly, and they control all of it.
They control all of it and there and like maybe some of them are like, you know, a gatekeeper, and maybe some of them I honestly don't know.
I don't know them, like I haven't gotten to them yet.
So maybe some of them are gay keeping, but honestly, I think a lot of them are just like, yeah, there's eleven of us, and we make all of the theater, and so we're up to our eyeballs in emails and in show invites and no, we're not going to come to your fucking show, because why would we come to your fucking show? And what's funny is that I'm like, I'm not even really trying to break into theater. I'm not I just want to do a run of this,
and I think, of course that is even work. They're like, yeah, then why would we ever fucking come.
You're not really trying to be in our world anyway. It's it's I hope that I hope that some of them come to this show.
Will also the more successful the show gets they'll retroactively come and act like they've always wanted to be there and that they're your best buddy. Edy as soon as you start to get some flowers for it, everybody'll be like, oh, absolutely love Chloe, love her.
That's my hope.
There are you know, there are like a few people. There are a couple of people whose names people on this podcast would know that where everybody's been like you should you should have this person see it. I bet this person would love it and would like help you get it up. And those names have not yet come and have not responded to the invites.
And it's always so tough when it's like, well it is a physical place and time.
Yeah, you do have to be here.
It is you. Your body does need to be there, and we are so used to our bodies not being anymore.
Yeah.
Yeah, And so there are a few like I have my like I'll show use you know that that those are those are the people I'm gunning.
For me too. That's what fuels everything. It's like the chip on your shoulder where you're just like, Okay, I'm going to get this done anyways. And you'll see that's if you don't do that. What do you just either die early, I guess or I mean I think people who don't have all show used are How do you say happy?
Well, I don't know there is you say no, they're not so confidently you no, Yeah, I mean I also I have a little bit of the not I show. I'll show you more of the Oh okay, I gots well, onto the next thing.
Very funny. That's fine too. Kurdi b tell us about some of these undead to dead again Guinness Book World Record rerecord.
I'm so happy about this.
This was the tampon toss. What yeah, because we did the tampon toss.
And how he did the tamp How many tampons do you toss?
Six hundred and eighty at once?
So it's a lot of tamp I really.
Riffed on this without knowing what I'm talking about.
We did six hundred and eighty one people throw a tampon at the same exact time at Bananas Fast, and we donated them all to I support the girls. It was a great It was a total.
I would love to be a woman receiving a tampon that I know a stranger has had their grubby paws all.
Unwrapped. One inside my.
Fa We gave it a gentle kiss, like a forehead kiss, and then put it back in stealed it with super glue.
Oh yeah, can you lick it? Actually? That would? I think that cancels everything out.
So this is and Guinness is of course being they're notoriously difficult in ornery, and of course you're being annoying, So I figured, well, look into what other things they have been annoying about. This was on depths of Wikipedia, which is a fantastic against one amp and you should follow it right now. And I'm just gonna go down
and we'll just chat about them. The first first one that immediately caught my eye was largest ever mass balloon release that has been canceled as of night as as of Balloonfest nineteen eighty six, where a lot we did a whole we did a whole story of bananas on it. The amount of balloons there were going to be two
million balloons, it was one point four million balloons. It took them six months to build the structure that housed the balloons that then were like released, and then when they released them, they it was in Cleveland and or Cincinnati rather and they uttered destroyed the city. Like it was there was a rescue of a search and rescue happening at sea that the balloons prevented from happening.
Two men ended up also and like Lake Huron or whatever, like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, in the lake there, And it was just liked the balloons prevented the search and rescue from happening in a timely manner. I mean, it was very sad. There was also like traffic accidents. There's one point four million balloons as they slowly lose altitude and like come into the settled into the streets. It took up like four city blocks the amount of balloons.
That was Grandpa tell me about the day the balloons destroyed Cleveland.
But I mean even by then we knew that they went to the oceans and affected marine life. They knew they just because you're in the Midwest, you can't get away with it.
Nineteen eighty six, you one hundred percent new nineteen eighty six, I'm out there cutting six packs ring you know what I mean? Of course, Uh, another one that can't that's no longer around. Heaviest pets, well that should be still around. I disagree with that that was encouraging people to overfeed their pets because people are so fucking competitive that they This is like dance Moms, but for cats. Yeah yeah, yeah, another one that's been canceled. It's just called untimed gluttony.
WHOA Okay.
The nineteen fifty five edition declared the fastest time to eat an ox was forty two days, completed in eighteen eighty by Germany's Johann Ketzler. A total of forty three Gluttny records were discontinued in nineteen eighty nine, with just Greatest Omnivore remaining for historical value. Michael Lotito consumed chandeliers, bicycles, television sets. Remember Cesna light aircraft.
Absolutely, it was in the book. Yeah, famous one. That one's such a great one. Yeah, you would eat a piece by piece. That guy used to be in the book when you would buy the hard cop.
Was he? When did he die? What age did he die at?
I don't know.
It's gonna be like twenty four.
Let's see Michael Latito. Uh he was? He lived from nineteen fifty to two thousand and six. There's a picture of him.
Yeah, fifty six, Yeah, really young, that's what happens.
If you eat Sesna Cessna aircraft, you're gonna you're not gonna live past your fifties.
There he sunk in the swimming The photo.
Of him in totally dressed up in black tie, uh.
Sitting in front of the sesta that he is eating.
Something so terrible happened to that man as a child, something so so bad happened to him so so early. And now he's eating license plates like a shark.
Yeah, his mom had baby food on a spoon and she would go open up for the airplane and then just always hit him in the forehead really hard.
And he was like, fine, I'll eat the fucking airplane.
Longest Kiss was discontinued in twenty thirteen due to sleep deprivation. No longest time spent buried alive.
Okay, that one I agree with.
That's fine, leave it. Leave it like the let.
The people assisted euthanasia.
It was a human mole named that's in quotes, human mole name.
It's themth.
This is my subtle dig.
Anyway, welcome to the podcast The Human.
No No, it.
Was Jeff Smith. He remained underground for one hundred and forty seven days in order to achieve the Guinness record and beat his mother's one hundred and one day stint. Okay, I want to know what's going on in that family that he wanted the first and he beat her. He's like, I'm a really beat mom by forty six days. That is a month and a half.
This is this is the same mom who wouldn't feed her kid the airplane. Yeah, this is all the same family.
Yeah, the other brother is ye so but okay, so that one was just living underground.
Living underground, but he was mad about it, he said. Guinness denied the the Guinness denied the award for safety reasons, and Jeff stated, quote, there are far more dangerous things in the book. There's a record for a guy who eats cars.
I really, I really, I think I'm on his side.
Also, if they denied his record for safety reasons, you'd think that they would say, excuse me, we're never gonna do this record again. But you still get You still won because you survive. Exactly, he was safe enough and.
He discontinued no one can do it after that. But to deny him seems cruel and rude.
Ye. Also, he just had to. He just lived under ground for half a year. Yeah, yeah, for half a year.
But also hold on, does living in a cave count as being buried alive?
Yeah, that's a good question, like a stretch.
Was he in a cave?
I mean you had to dig a hole. He wasn't just laying still.
So you know, like the.
Longest time spent buried alive he was underground, it says for one hundred and forty seven.
Well you know what I mean, like like like bunker kids are underground for six months at a time and they never see the sky.
Do they deserve the record?
Yeah, let's give it out more. Let's not illuminate it. Let's give it out more.
Let's ron let's let's you know, we want a big tent here for Dangerous Ginness World records.
There were guys in my neighborhood that dug up one day during the summer. Everybody was like, what are you up to? I'm like, I don't know what's going on. They're like, oh, we're going to go all up to the Gustafson's house. They're digging a hole in their backyard and they dug a like twelve foot deep hole that was like twenty feet across and then covered it, and they dug it out so much. They dug little rooms
for everybody. Wow and yeah, And they built underground twelve feet into the earth and you climbed down a ladder and then they started building a chimney and so they like dug out a chimney and then everybody just hung out down there and it probably lasted, would you say, Well, Yeah, the fun and the novelty was probably like four or five days. And then the mom found out and was like took her.
It took her four or five days to notice the twenty foot wide hole.
In the back. Yeah.
Yeah, Because they had this really deep yard that went up against the woods, and so we were helping them carry buckets of soil into the woods. And then there was a slight rise like in their backyard, so you couldn't actually see the top of it. And they covered it with just like tarps and plywood and stuff. And for like three or four days, people were smoking, people were making out, people were drinking. It was like the car it's a club hole. Yeah, yeah, club hole. I was probably a club hole.
York.
The man hole was still over. We hung out it.
Wow.
I love that. Do you want to hear about most beer drunk in an hour? How much do you guys think? How much at beer can be drank in one hour? Sixty minutes?
I know it's Andre the Giant. It is not the hat Oh my gosh, okay, because he's got some crazy records.
Yeah, I even I looked at this depth of I saw this steps of Wikipedia post and I don't remember I don't even remember, like a ballpark of how much beer it was it.
Was within sixty minutes. Go ahead, Scottie, Okay.
I would guess you could drink a beer every three minutes. Ill beer two minutes, yeah, two minutes. So I'm going to go. I'll go in an hour. Fuck, I'll go.
Forty five beers, thirty six pints of beer?
Oh pints okay, so that's.
Different sixteen ounces beer. Yeah, yeah, so twenty three year old jack Keys drank thirty six pints of beer. The feet occur in nineteen sixty nine and no Northern Ireland.
And how old do you think that man lived to be? I know, less than fifty six, I would bet, which.
Is forty eight beers. So that'd be forty eight cans of beer. That's he's moving. And how often did he pee during that hour? Maybe forty seven? Just let it out, you just got it. It's the old Looney Tunes. It goes in one hole and out the other, and then how I always want to live And here's the last one.
Fastest Violinist has been discontinued twenty seventeen due to difficulty and conclusively determining whether all musical notes have been sufficiently played even when slowed down.
I remember reading that and being like, how can you not tell when you slow it down?
I don't know, because they all kind of bleed into one another, possibly because you're listening for like a difference of tone, right, because it's not like a DNT describing sounds.
So the way to tell the difference between two musical notes is that they sound different. You really want to listen for the differences there, all right.
Because they do a speed electric guitar and it's to flight of the Bumblebee. Oh really, I think that's the song, right, No no, no, no no no no no no no. And so they there are videos of these guys and they just keep putting the beats per minute up or whatever. And these guys are playing so fast, but you can tell they're playing every note. So that's weird that you can on a violin.
Yeah, yeah, well, isn't it Because it's plucking. It's like the difference between in distinct notes and things getting mushed all together when it's just getting vibrating.
I mean, because the bow is just yeah rocket, like.
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure there's a musical word for what I'm saying.
You know, way back in like twenty twelve, I went to one of the first vidcoons, like the YouTube conferencing in Anaheim, and I didn't you know that cool? Yeah, I was there. It felt real cool, but there were a lot of like, you know, it was the first time I ever saw YouTube. Back then, they weren't even called they were so called vloggers or content creators. They
weren't even called influencers or anything back then. And I remember being introduced to oh god, I think her name was Lindsay Sterling, and she was like an influencer violin player, and I remember being like, Wow, I guess YouTube's just for everybody. This is never going to go anywhere. And I'm pretty sure she's humongous now, like we would be lucky to get her own bananas but it was like, oh, she's so nice. She's like she just plays violin and
like looks cool and does stuff. And I'm like, okay, YouTube, I that's saying something my grandmother would like. And now she probably sells out Carnegie Hall all the time. So good for you, Linds.
Early what early waves of any platform did was so mind bl you know, like early Netflix, stand up specials, early YouTube video virality, early.
TikTok, you know, like all all of that.
And then I was like, Okay, I'm going to get in on the next early platform.
And then the next one is Clubhouse.
Do you remember that the like briefly yeah, And I was like, I'm gonna go fucking huge on Clubhouse.
No, Like sometimes.
Yeah, I remember I was like I'm going I'm going all in on Vine, baby.
Yeah.
And I think at a certain point, like I was named like one of the best Vine, like after Vine had been out for like one month or something, and then I quickly was outpaced by people spending all of their time doing it and I was like, oh, yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
That really is what it is.
You have to spend all of your time doing whatever the platform is.
Yeah, just be like this is my thing. I'm going just for this thing.
Yeah, kind of crazy. Vine died though, because those Vine compilations are funny. They's so funny and they'll live on YouTube now, but they're like those kids were doing their things.
And some of them are still like transitioned to Like I would say most of the early like influencer celebrities were all from Vine.
Yeah, right, house had Amanda Serny on a clubhouse. Yeah, we all we're still on clubhouse, the four of Us house party Hawaii because they were like, you gotta have Vine stars, you have that. So we were like, okay, send us names, and so we had her, and we had a couple other people that were flown out to Hawaii to be on television because they had big vines.
And then Vine died and all of them pivoted to Snapchat, and then Snapchat I think gave us one hundred thousand dollars to put three of their stars on a Comedy Central show. Like it went into our budget. Yeah, wow, moved the needles zero percent for either Comedy Central nor Vine. Snapchat. Yeah, like there was never a crossover. They just learned that there is no audience crossover and.
That it's not even like the ca Shay matters to that audience, like the credit doesn't matter.
Nope, not at all. It was a fascinating time. But God bless you, Lindsay Sterling. I'm sure you're just a friend of the body to the teeth and I should have been like, oh, I'll help bright stuff for you. I'm a fool that one. Katie will Hoyt sent this in Katie's the best. Thank you, h This was in The Guardian, so you know it's pretty real and it was written by Catherine Best in the business shored Helen Miren said, it's so sad Kurt Cobain died before GPS was invented.
Yeah, I want to I want the full like context of this quote. I love it.
Helen Mirren, who we all love, everybody's favorite Auntie uh. The Oscar winning actor has made the latest in a series of references to the Nirvana frontman and the technological advances he did not live to see. The actor Helen mihr And has lamented that Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain did not live long enough to be able to experience the excitement of tracking his location on a phone. It's this is so good that she's thinking.
Do you think that means that Helen Mirren like watched a YouTube documentary about Kurt Cobain and he makes a comment somewhere in there about how he's like, hey, we're on the forefront of a technological wave. And then like and it's like there's like one sentence in there. Somebody somebody was like.
I got this cool YouTube documentary to show you, and she just her brain, her brain.
She was she had like just taken a sleeping pill and that's all that's the last thing that her brain absorbed, and then it just has like grown.
You know, mutated inside of her.
Yes, yeah, yes, I also wonder the other option is is that this is her go to thought about anyone who's dead.
She loves GPS, and she she yes so much.
When she thinks of people who no longer exist, her first is that they didn't experience GPS. She thinks Alexander Graham Bell great inventor Too bad he didn't experience GPS.
Do you think that means that Helen Mirren has like was very is very sad for everybody who died, you know, pre twenty eleven or whatever. But now is like, oh, people can die. Who gives a shit? They know at least they know what Garman feels like.
You know, I think so also because Helen Miron just get lost all the time and like GPS has really improved the back half of her life.
Yeah, I get it, like her getting her first Tom Tom in like two thousand and four and just caressing it and be like, well, I guess we can all die now we finally know what this feels like.
I make my GPS's voice American. Ooh see it's a pretty bad, great accent.
No, that was very good. I thought. Helen Mirren was sitting across from me on the zoom chat. Here's the details. It's so it's just as good as you hope. It is, speaking to the evening standard proprietor you have. Genny Lebedev on Brave New World podcast, Miron, who's seventy nine years young, said she consider herself lucky to have lived long enough
to witness dramatic technological advances. Quote. I always say it's so sad that Kurt Cobain died when he did, she said, because he never saw GPS, and it's the most wonderful thing to watch my little blue spot walking down the street. I just find it completely magical and unbelievable.
Also, what an exceptional sense of awe and excitement about the world.
Helen walks through with positivity.
Also, most people are sort of like unnerved by technology tracking them and like our phones are listening to this. Helen is like, I come with me. I love your technology.
I need you.
Yeah, and I would. She seems like a really fun person to follow around for a day. The actor has frequently referenced Kirk Cobain in the past when discussing the interface of technology and aging. In twenty fourteen, she told Oprah Winfrey, look at Kurt Cobain. He hardly even saw a computer. The digital stuff that's going on is so exciting.
I'm just so curious about what happens next. The following year, she told Cosmopolitan Magazine, I was just thinking about Kirk Cobain the other day and how he died without knowing the internet, and I'm totally blown away by that. And in twenty sixteen, she told The Daily Mail, if I had died at twenty seven, the age that Kirk Cobain died in nineteen ninety four, I'd never known there was an internet. Incredible things are happening all the time, and I cannot wait to see what happens next.
She has been This has been a constant refrain for her. Impressed.
This is she didn't she did mushroom. She did, She did mushrooms and tunneled.
Really, really deep in one weird and specific direction.
And she wants to totally hook up with I think she had a crush on kind. She wanted to joink that guy's point.
What's weird is when asked about Amy Winehouse, she says, I don't give a shit if she never saw it. That's the craziest part. It's like Jesus, Helen, I'm.
Glad that piece of ship never knew that Twitter became.
X couldn't find the rehab. She didn't have GPS. That moron. However, the sentiments mere and expressed on this podcast, folks, that was focusing on longevity, neuroscience, biohacking, and psychedelics. From there, we're less cheerful.
How did this podcast get Helen here?
I know, I know.
Let's get Helen Miran on bananas. Man, I bet she does.
Have you let her talk about Kirk Cobain.
I bet she I bet if you emailed her and we're like, we're looking for for more technology that you're sad that Kirk Cobain won't experience.
Yeah, she did.
Also, famous people like to be in clear. If they're busy, they're happy, and when they're not, they're like, why am I not being included? I should be everywhere? So maybe we can score.
True.
Oh, it's so true all my friends that are famous. Yes, oh so bumped.
Just like, what are you so worried and upset about? You have billions of dollars and you are in demand that all moments. Can't you have one moment where someone's not inviting you on a yacht or something.
I know, even if they find out you had coffee with somebody that was like, I'll have coffee with you, and I'm like, well, I know we're having it right now. Something that happened yesterday. Sorry you weren't there. It happened so much. God, I'll finish this article just because it's funny how they all these articles always have to wrap up. Which is general trivia and it is an educational podcast.
A year before Kurt Cobaine died, Nirvana recorded their Unplugged in New York set for MTV, which further popularized popularized the band beyond their core grunch fan base and now I conic photo from the nineteen nineties shows cob And grinning broadly while talking on a brick like mobile phone, suggesting he might well have been enthusiastic about Google Maps.
That is a big up, tycha is a big leap. He talked on a phone there before.
He might have liked Google Maps.
Honestly, it's either the biggest leap or the smallest leap, or it's like yeah, no shit.
Would he have been a part of this world? Short?
I think you would have hated it? And I don't. I don't. Kurt and I are of the perfect age gap where I was. Nirvana couldn't have been bigger when we were young, when we were like middle school, high school, like could not have been a bigger band. And nothing about that band makes me think that Kirk Coban would have just loved the Internet.
Nothing about like I always think, like, think about Billy Corgan, current day Billy Corgan. Now imagine that.
Is a formation? Who I know who it is?
Yes, Smashing Pumpkins leads.
Great okay, sorry, great, great, great.
Lead singer of a great bank you smashing, thank you.
Okay.
That was popular at the same time as Nirvana was popular. And then just transpose that aging onto Kirk Cobain. We don't want it for him. No one wants that. Nobody wants fifty eight year old Kurt Cobain right.
Now, Season two of Nobody Wants This is what if Kirk Cobain didn't die?
Oh yes, Chloyd, let's pitch it right now. That's a great idea. There's a very infamous story. And I've asked Karen Kilgarre if she was present for it. I've asked many comedians. But at the there's a great theater in La the Largo, and everybody liked playing Largo. How many seats do you think that is? Four hundred?
No, well, yeah, maybe three fifty three hundred.
It's not that huge. But anyways, it's a great, great comedy theater. And if you're a fan of comedy out there, especially stand up, you probably already have heard of Largo. And there's a very famous story that one night there was a big stand up night and Kirko excuse me, Billy Corgan and Marilyn Manson show up and they're in head to toe leather. They're in leather like, they're dressed like the Columbine kids basically, and they walk in and sit in the front row. They thought it, yeah, they
thought it was like a live music night, like. They thought it was a bunch of bands and stuff, and instead it was a bunch of alternative comedians.
They didn't know how you missed that. It's comedy, I don't know.
But whatever the name of the show was called, you know, it was like not Whiplash, but it's a name like that where you go, oh, okay, this must be something cool. And so then in the front row you have these two leather matrix dressed ghoules just and they didn't laugh at all. They just sat in the front row and stared, and all the comedians kept like and finally somebody called it out. But I've been trying to track down I think it was like Zach Alfanakis and Sarah Silverman sort
of that that gen. But god, can you imagine just being at that show and just see being those two gargoyles stumble in silently, pale and just sit there silently with one light blue eye and one dark eye.
I don't know how people wouldn't acknowledge it.
I don't know if there were if there were two like assassins sitting in the front row not laughing, I would have to deal with it.
Are you guys assassins?
You know it's Billy Corgan and Maryland.
So they probably killed somebody, but not professionally.
Man, I gotta find somebody that was there.
Good, gotta tease us into uh some.
Shout thumbs up.
Yeahs how one man sold an airport that didn't exist. Oh, I love a good scam.
Ye okay, So I dug deep. I went back in the archives. I was looking at old stories. I found three thumbs ups that we miss Kurt.
Okay.
I'm going to give the date that I was supposed to say it okay, And I hope all these people are alive and healthy and well on June nineteenth, twenty twenty three. I can't believe I miss these. Saint T wants to thumb her big sister, Emma up. She's an LPN studying to be an RN and she's a huge inspiration to saying, and she introduced saying to bananas. So thumbs up. Emma, hopefully you're an r N a year six months now.
Thank you for what you do as well. Thumbs that's right.
Also on June nineteenth, twenty twenty three, I was supposed to say this, Kyle wants to thumb his partner. I think it's Elisa or Alessia, so let's go Alessia. That's a prettier name. I believe up for graduating with.
This sis Elisa. I know, I hope they were like, anyway, that's up.
That was bad Alesia, Olesia. I'm going to Alicia as graduating with a Masters of Library and Information Studies. She was graduating on June fifteenth, twenty twenty three, So thumbs up.
We hope it was.
A beautiful graduation and you've found books and information to continue studying.
Some really finally thumbs up, staments yes.
In June twentieth, twenty twenty three, Naomi Faulkner wants to thumb up her twelve year old daughter Lily, who is probably now thirteen, possibly even fourteen. They went to Naomi's husband's twenty year reunion at Amherst College, and Lily was pretty bored during this trip until Naomi said, well, banana boy number two went to UMass Amherst, which is right down the road, to which Lily responded, now that is finally something interesting to get me excited. So thumbs up, Lily,
you might already be applying for colleges. This took so long. My apology jeez to saying Kyle and Naomi or Naomi.
But we got you thumbs up, thumbs up, and of course we are here with the wonderful and delightful Chloe Radcliff. It's me, It's me Zoe Chloe. You have like a new bike series, don't you.
Yes, yes, I so.
I bike everywhere in New York and have forever have since I moved here.
I'm on my bike an hour and a half a day. I it's it's the best, the best. Yeah.
I love it so much. It keeps my head screwed onto my body. I mean, it just like makes me feel so much better. It's so awesome. And just within the last year I started, I've been talking for years about shooting videos on my bike and just have never quite gotten it together. And then just within this last year did all the like tinkering cause it's this, like, you know, I went through so many iterations of like how do I shoot the video and how do I record the audio?
And how do I edit?
And da da da da da da, And I finally figured out a system that works, and so now I'm I've been putting out front facing jokes on my bike for a while, and now I just started putting out longer like ten twelve minute little like sort of a solo podcast, but it's it's like somewhere between, like you know, it's just biking around New York, so you really get to see New York City. I'm telling people about, you know,
what I've been doing, what I've been up to. I'm giving bikers a bad name cause I'm very aggressive and I yell at people and I break the law. And so I think people rightfully would watch it and be like, oh, fuck off, this is why bikers are annoying.
No, I love it. It's absolutely fantastic. And it's nice because I guess you have one of those like three hundred and sixty one degree ones, right, yeah, Because every once in a while you'll be talking and then it'll you'll swing the viewpoint around and you get to watch you kind of like dodging through traffic at the same time when you comes back and then you're like back into a bit. It's very enjoyable to watch. I used
to bike in Manhattan and Brooklyn as well. I would bike from Park Slope to fortieth and Lex every morning and yeack, and it was it's the best. And people are always like, oh, it must be so scary. It's like, no, it's the best city to bike in totally because traffic goes four miles an hour everywhere you go.
And everybody's looking for bikes. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh the people I don't mind cars.
Most of the people driving in New York are like driving either professionally or like, have been driving in New York their whole lives.
Yeah, the drivers are great.
It's the city bikers who bike around on their electric city bikes with headphones in no helmets, looking at their phone while they're riding.
They are the menaces.
Those are the people who I'm like, you're gonna you also ride without a helmet, Do what you want. It's you're only hurting yourself. I think it's crazy. I think it's a terrible mistake. But like, okay, but if you ride with headphones in, you are not just you.
You are going to hurt other people too likely. It just makes me absolutely crazy.
So anyway, that's the dangerous part of driving in New York, not the cars, the people, Yeah, but also.
With headphones, and you lose the character of this city because like, riding a bike in New York is like tsa pre check. It's like you just ease through it a little smoother than everybody else. But you overhear so many conversations. And when you leave, like say Brooklyn to Manhattan or Queens, like just the people change. Everything changes. You'll just hear people yelling nonsense at each other that you don't even understand what that's what.
It's like, you completely disconnect from the city. Yeah, totally, Yeah, absolutely.
You'll see a grown man yell basketball soup and then start laughing and you don't even know what that means, but god, you're so happy you heard him yell at and you keep on keeping on if you end up doing Years ago, Kurt and I had to figure out an act two or an act three for a pilot and we were like, oh, maybe we'll put Kurt on a tandem bicycle and have a celebrity behind him. But honestly, the go pro tech and lipstick cam tech wasn't really there.
So anyways, if you need a guest, Kurtie b would be a great rideing have guest.
If you do tandem, that's gonna be so fun.
I'm gonna I'm starting a tande bike web series. That's that's the Yeah, I am, I'm I'm starting, uh and I would love to have you on. I'm gonna shoot episodes in La so I'll hit you up.
All right.
Yeah, you guys would be so funny. Just the negotiation of who gets to be in the front or the back, who gets to steers.
I'm always.
Save it for the video.
It'll just look like old big bird behind you.
I shot an episode with Roy Wood Junior and it is. The side shots are so funny to have me in front of him, This giant man find so funny.
That's great.
All right. You want to hear about this scam. It's a delightful scam.
Yeah, I love a scam.
This was sent in by give me one second, I'm looking it up. I'm looking at.
You can always send us your stories to the Banana Podcast at gmail dot com or the Bananas Podcast on Instagram.
This was sent in by the fantastic and wonderful copyhaste. Thank you copycats. This was you know, I found. There's a lot of different places I could have gotten this from, read a lot of different articles about it. I got it from school Tube. Sounds really everybody loves school Tube. This was written by school tube community. Nobody wanted to credit for it.
Sound more authentic if it had to.
There was a there's an open opening paragraph that's about scams in general, and I'm going to skip that.
Here it is.
In the early nineteen nineties, Emmanuel Newooda wasn't just another scammer sending out poorly warded emails. He was a respected figure, the director of the Union Bank of Nigeria, with fingers and numerous financial pies. You'd think someone in his position would be content, right. Not in new Mooday. He craved more, and he had a knack forgetting it, even if it meant bending the rules dot dot dot drastically. The year was nineteen ninety five, the Internet still a novelty, a
digital wild West where everyone knew the rules. Netscape Navigator was the browser of choice.
Blah blah blah blah blah.
Okay, nowaday, using his charm and legitimate business credentials. This is huge approach. The head of Brazil's Banco no Reste with an irresistible offer, invest in the construction of a brand new airport in Abuja, Nigeria and reach massive returns. He spent a tale of a booming economy, a government eager for development and profits that would make their head spend.
What followed was a masterclass in manipulation. Over three years, Newday and his accomplices, using a mix of forged documents, fate contracts, outright lies, convinced the bank to transfer two hundred and forty two million dollars in nineteen ninety five. That's that's got to be like to have an hundred million at this time, Yeah, almost a billion dollars. The money intended for state of the art airport vanished into a labyrinth of offshore accounts. For a while, Newday's scheme
worked like a charm. He lived a life of luxury, the phantom airport his golden goose. But as with all good things, his luck eventually ran out. Nigeria's new Anti Corruption Commission caught wind of it, and the house cards began to crumble. New Is arrest sent shockwaves through Nigeria and beyond. The scale of his fraud was unprecedented attestament
to his audacity and the banks staggering naivete. He was eventually convicted and sentenced to prison, but the two hundred and forty two million gone gone, vanished, never showed up again. It's still in offshore banks somewhere. He got away with it essentially. And also I mean like it's just absolutely and he was kind of like like people thought he was very cool. And Banco Noreste went out of business because of this, Like an entire bank was bankrupt because of this investment.
Because of a fake airport.
Yes, no one ever went to be like, let's see the airport.
I love. I love a scam. I love I love a lie. I love just absolutely yanking somebody out of whatever they out of their money. I love it.
I think also to do much that much at I'm gonna say, whenever I invest one million dollars, I always go and visit the place or where the thing is going to be built. This is I like that, not even at one hundred million, where they're like, we're going to go take a peek.
And you'd think you would think that at the level that they're not looking. That means that two hundred and forty two million is actually not that much to them, you know, like JP Morgan investing two forty two is like whatever, it's pennies to them.
But two forty two was enough to ruin the bank.
Yeah, So when it came out, I think I think it was people. I think it was an additional people finding out about it and then it ruined their confidence in the bank. So it wasn't that that money meant a lot to them. It was rather that, yeah, people were like, well, we're no longer take keeping our money there because you guys are fucking idiots.
I read a book last summer, I think it was last summer called a Nansi's Gold and it was about a Ghanaian con man. If you like scams, this dude was unh Blame Blame Maisa was his last name, Blame Maisa.
And this dude was so bold. He would come to America and just scam, scam, scam and same thing, just rip off so many people with like old ideas like oh my my, there's a kingdom and they had all this gold and I am the only person who can access it and I need this money, like the stuff that we know to look for now on the internet. But this guy was doing it in person, like in New York City, and I think he was up near
Yale for a while. But that book, uh, it's by Ebo something And anyways, it is such a good read because this dude pulled off the same thing just like hundreds of millions of dollars. Scams would go to jail and then in jail would start scamming the other prisoners who are like, hell yeah, weapon runners because he was like, He's like, they caught me, but I'm best friends with
the king, and the kings getting me out. I'm actually just serving times so the king doesn't have to So if you want to get into it, you just looted Americans and prisoners. Oh it's so yeah, blame blame. Mieza was his last name.
Amazing.
Yeah, it's called a nan seas Gold And that book is such a good read.
Do you want to do you want to hear my my my scam for New York City?
Yes, I talked about this in one of my recent long biking videos, So this is a tease of one of them. If you like this, go listen to the rest of the videos. Okay, what you do is you want to buy a roll of Neon Green paid stickers, you know, the stickers that say paid on them. Yeah, And then you go to the eminem store and you fill bags with however many m and ms you want, and you just put your own sticker, your own paid stickers on because the payders are the only ways that
they can tell whether you paid for it. And then you just show them the pastickers and you got paid, and you take out as many M and ms as you want. So think about that.
Think about that.
Yeah, and as long as that roll of stickers cost less than that about you, and as long as.
The security cameras don't notice the same person.
I'm not even supposed to be here, sir, my, are good, buddy? Maybe Johnny Pemberton, when I moved to La Goes, do you like blueberries? I said, yeah, he goes. Go to Pinkberry and don't get any frozen yogurt. Just fill your cup up with blueberries and it's cheaper than buying blueberries the gros.
Oh my god, brilliant.
That's so funny. You know another way to get free M and m's too from is just you just put them in your pocket. You pour them all in your pocket and then you go, they're in my pocket already and they go, okay, you got you those are yours now?
Sorry?
And they go yeah, yeah yeah, And are there some tampons in there?
Just get your hands nice and you know, really really riddle them around.
Ooh, that is a good scam in La. If you want free meals by a walkie talkie with an earpiece and some tape and then drive around until you see these yellow and black signs that have arrows pointing towards productions, then just confidently walk up to catering and craft services with your walkie talkie and headphone in and just act like you're supposed to be there and make his made plates of food.
No one will no one will ask you, because the secret about a set is that there is a specific person in charge of every little thing, but then there's general things where like that person would never know if another person from another department was there or not. And if as long as you're confident, you could do whatever you want on a film set, right, because if.
You saw somebody who you were like, man, I've never seen that guy on the set before. He's wearing a walkie talkie, he has a little fanny pack. Are you going to walk up to him and be like, excuse me, sir, Are you a stranger who is scamming your way into a free flate of food by walking onto this production randomly and walking through craft services? Is that what you're doing? Because the risk of that person turning and being like, no, I work on the same job you.
Work on, like I'm the I'm the executive assistant of the star. Yeah, that's right.
It's the risk is so extreme that you're like, I'm never gonna I'm never gonna accuse this verson of this absolutely batshit insane behavior.
Yeah, exactly. Oh, I'm an office pa, okay, and just don't hit it every day. That's the problem with the guy you were talking about, curt Is. Just if he had two hundred million dollars in off shore counts. That is the time where you change your entire identity. Get out of that far, far away.
That is the craziest part, right, I would say, after three.
Million dollars, I'm good.
I'm good. I've got three million dollars. I'm gonna I'm gonna get out of this one.
Well, Vietnam a beautiful country that doesn't have extradition. Just go take your one hundred million dollars and live a life not unlike Kings of All.
You can just under million in Vietnam. You'll have a nice time.
You have a great time.
Send us home with just a title there.
Just what Kimberly Win or excuse me? Kimber Win sent this in She's Kimmi Kazi on Instagram. This was on thirteen News, written by that thirteen Kmax News staff man discovers he's been paying the wrong utility bill for over eighteen years. I'll give you the first two paragraphs, now okay. In Vacaville, California, California, man recently noticed something was not
quite right with his normal utility bill. After further investigation, the power company discovered he's been paying someone else's bill for what could be nearly two decades. Ken Wilson says he keeps a watchful eye on how much energy he uses, especially in recent months as his bill started to get high. He even bought a device to tell him how many watts his appliances give off so he can track his daily energy used down to the exact number. So this is the wrong guy to do this. I've been trying
to conserve electricity, lower my costs. Blah blah blah. So he called PG and E, who sent out a work on Tuesday to check his meter, and that's when the company confirmed Wilson's apartment, Unit ninety was long linked to the wrong meter, so he was paying the utility bill for Unit ninety one since two thousand and six.
Oh my god, are they going to refund him all that money?
Do?
Doo dooo?
He says. Wilson says he was still paying for the wrong meter as of Monday, and he says the power company indicated the air won't be corrected until the next billing cycle.
Sure you got away twenty days?
Yeah, yeah, I don't think so.
He's already waited eighteen years. It was another twenty days. You know what's crazy.
The person who is neurotic enough to buy a measuring device to see how many wats you're using exactly is a person who should have noticed this seventeen and a half years ago.
But also if you don't true, and I don't know if I'm aware of, like, what does a unit of energy cars. You know if you're just like, oh, I guess that's what it is. I have one light and one TV. I watch it for one hour a day and that's five hundred dollars every two months.
Crazy.
That's exactly right, Chloe plug away. Where can everybody find you? And where they can can they can find your new web series and your upcoming cheat shows.
Yes, I am at Chloe Badcliff on all social media platforms. It's like my last name, Radcliffe, but bad. If you type in Chloe bad I'll come up. And yes, bike videos are on Instagram and YouTube cheat shows I post about them.
That.
The most important thing that you can do is sign up for my mailing list, which is on uh, it is in my Instagram bio, and it is on punch Up dot Live, which don't ask me to explain what the fuck is going on there anyway. Go to my link tree, Instagram, bio, all that kind of stuff.
Go to my mailing list and sign up so that you know when I'm going to be in your city and uh, when I'm when I'm launching new projects.
Awesome. Hell yeah, thank you so much for coming back, Chloe.
Thank you so much for having me this.
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