All right, Scott are you ready?
I am so ready to laugh and laugh and laugh.
Did Dakota Johnson lock customers inside of a blue bottle?
I mean I have to The answer has got to be yes, because I don't know if they write an article. If she didn't try to do that, I still think there's an article. But she did lock people inside of a coffee shop. Well, let's see what's brewing on a fancy new episode of Bananas.
Would you.
Not for your livesillion pieces?
Would you?
Bana?
BANAA guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas. I'm Kerk Brown older.
I am Banana boy number two Scotty Landis. Thank you for listening to the silliest little podcast there ever was, especially to our Canadian listeners and our Mexican listeners, and yes, our Panamanian listeners and our Colombian listeners.
Just we love you, We love you, and you know, we don't talk about politics, but we do talk about healthcare. And I just wanted to let everybody know this has nothing to do with anything, but New York State just passed a law that protects doctors from providing abortion supplies for people in abortion restricting streets restricted states, and I just want to let you know, for no reason, so that if you're in an abortion restricted state, you can contact a doctor in New York and they can mail
you abortion pills. That is a thing that they are protected from doing. I just wanted to let you know. You don't talk politics. I'm just letting you know.
You're just putting it out there because it's in the news exactly.
It's in the news, and this is an educational podcast, Scotty, and it's about the news. First March twenty ninth, we're in Phoenix. Come on out and see us, Scottie and me. All right, we're gonna be having fun. May seventh, eighth, and ninth. I'm in Asbury Park, New Jersey. Then I'm in Chicago at the Den. Then I'm in Cincinnati at I haven't said it right yet. I have not said it right yet. You're definitely in Cincinnati, Ohio Commonwealth Sanctuary, which is a very fun venue. Now, now let's get
to our our guests today. I'm so excited. Our guest today is a comedian, actress writer. You can see her on Netflix Exploding Kittens, ABC's Home Economics and Marvel's Agatha All Along.
She's in the.
Marvel Universe, Folks, That's massive. She was a cast member on Saturday Night Live for four seasons. She's in the Lauren Michaels Universe, folks, and and her stand up specials Pizza Mind and The First Woman are available everywhere you watch comedy, as well as her podcast Best Friends, Please Welcome, Sushier Amada.
Hello, Hello, welcome. We're so glad to have you come. And you've been on before, but welcome back. I think a lot has changed. I think every year since twenty twenty, things changed, like they.
Heat changing crazy exponentially.
Yes, so we're glad to have you back. How are I'm good?
I'm good. Yeah.
I just got back to la yesterday. I fled like a lot of people did.
Yeah.
Fires.
We spent the first three days together and we did Carlsbad, California.
Very funny hotel, and it was it was genuinely nice and it was funny because like our friend Julia just like texted me it was like a bunch of us are going here.
I was like great, and it was like you know, parents with their.
Kids and there and dogs and I was like solo just like like like everyone's teen daughter just like yeah, and me too.
I also don't want to burn alive. And that's fine.
We would have barbecues. We were just we have barbecues every night.
They sweet, It.
Was genuinely sweet. But we were talking about the fact that, yeah, it was like felt weird because a tragedy was happening. Yeah, but we're all like a bunch of comedians in a hotel together, and it also felt a little bit like a comedy festival.
Yeah, it is like, Yeah, those are moments where it's like, I really really love being part of the comedy community because you get just band together and like remind yourself you're not alone.
And then also everyone has great jokes.
Yeah, we are the best people to be around in a moment of confusion and stress and sorrow and all of those things.
So yeah, and I.
Have also noticed, with few exceptions that are very clear, I think comedians are there's not a chance of it being like awkward with them, do you know what I mean of like things just being weird. Usually it's always incredibly friendly. You can say whatever you want and they're very forgiving. It's not like you can ever fuck up there are certain comedians who like, if you say the wrong thing, they'll just walk away from you. Yeah, I can name names three things. You know.
It's ten percent are only awkward every time I talk through them.
That's also a whole section of comedians are justly awkward.
Yeah, as a non comedian, let me tell you, they're not ten percent. When they find out you're not a comic, they just stare at you like, I don't know what to say to this man. They're all white dudes. I will say that they're all white dudes, and they're just like, Hi, how are you?
Yeah, I forget how to be human?
Uh So, sir, I was listening to your podcast. You and Colebyer have such a fun podcast, and I was
listening to the Gym. I've been going to the gym a lot lately, and I was listening like three episodes in a row, and I was doing squats on a machine that's called a v squat machine, so your your body's sort of like your legs are in front of you a little bit, okay, not just right below you and you too were talking about, of course, like any good podcasts, all the restaurant and catering experiences, you've had, including all the times you've gotten sick and then times
where you found things in your food. And while I was squatting you, you said something about finding like metal. The guy mentioned putting metal in food one time a server said that to you, and I was down in a squat and started laughing and then really couldn't stand up. So I almost like ripped my butt in half, literally ripped my button half listening to you to just be friends. And so I'm a new fan. You've yeah, you've acquired a new ripped in half butthole fan.
Yeah, that's fine, We're butt ripping good.
I like that compliment. It was awesome. Thank you. Also, I have a question that you are uniquely qualified to answer. Do you still have stress dreams about SNL? I do, like high school type of can't find locker room type of stress dreams, And you know it's because of SNL.
Literally, yeah, it'll be dreams like SNL is a school like SL Like there's there's lockers in eight h and I can't find the stage or something, or like I'm too late because my sketch is happening and I'm not on on camera yet, or like yeah, yeah, they still pop.
Up every so often.
And I've been off the show for like since twenty seventeen, almost ten years, but I still, oh my god, really.
Still like part of it.
It just sounds like such a pressure cooker of a creative environment that we've had writers and we're friends with lots of writers who have been on, but for performers, Yeah, I was just wondering it must personally, And yeah, I still have those college ones where you forgot to go to class for the whole semester or whatever, but I imagined, so yeah, it's true you still have SNL can't find studio eight h or whatever.
A truly really I think.
Also it's like that job's like nothing else in great ways and also in very interesting ways. But yeah, I've had haven't had a job like that since. And but also because I was at that job, anything that comes my way, I feel like I can handle it, Like for sure, anything that like any last minute changes or like huge switches or just energy, like I just feel like I it rolls off my back because I was in.
Such a pressure cooker very early in my career.
So yeah, but I do feel like because it was like the biggest thing I did earlier on. It's just like truly I implanted in my brain and comes up in subconscious very so often.
Do you ever go back? Have you ever been back since twenty seventeen?
I haven't.
I am going back for the fiftieth anniversary. Cool next month, which is really excited.
Or this month? Oh my god, what day is it?
This has been no idea?
Yeah this is February.
Yeah, so like it weeks from now. Wow, but yeah, I'm going back. That'll yeah, that'll be first time I'm seeing a show happen.
Which is cool. I'm excited.
I think I have been away from the show long enough that like a lot of anxiety feelings I would have felt earlier, I don't really apply right now. So I'm mostly excited, like, see people haven't seen it in a while and yeah, party.
Yeah that's gonna be awesome. Good for you. That's so thank you for answering that question. It's I it just occurred to me that you were the perfect person asked you know you want to hear Chris.
Sure.
Yeah, but but right before I was talking with Kristin Shall the other day and we were then she said the funniest thing about about side of life. She's like, ugh, they give themselves a party after every show.
It's pretty congratulatory.
Yeah, it's such a funny thing because it is it's like like we've we've run a comedy show for twenty years or whatever, but like it wasn't a party every night, but it was such a funny thing to say about the show. It's like, that's the one thing that no one has ever complained about Saturday is that they have a nice after party for the guests who only do it once.
Yeah, can you believe every single week.
Let's be exhausting partying that much?
Oh yeah yeah, because he also like worked so many hours all week and then you're like, yeah, now I'm up till.
And then it's like, now you have to stay out till four am? Did Dakota Johnson locked customers inside a blue bottle coffee? This is from Vulture.
This is ah.
This is from two years ago by Rebecca Alter. Thanks for Rebecca, Becca altered the.
Best of this? Who sent it?
I got this off of I got this off of Reddit. Buddy still my own research.
Dave Reddit, Yeah, Dave Reddit.
Bobby read it. Dakota Johnson, actress, celebrity daughter, famous bangs have r citru fiber trusaheran hostage taker question mark. That is why Rebecca's the best in the biz. Rebecca Walter Johnson has been in the news lately for her recent roles in critically lauded projects blah blah blah blah. On Sunday, a Twitter user with the handle at biz socks Say you Know It's Real tweeted the Lime video with a Dakota anecdote. He claimed to affirm the pure chaos she
radiates true story. Dakota Johnson once locked me and my mom inside a Blue Bottle coffee shop because the briester told her she couldn't make the coffee herself. Okay, okay. This sounds to be the sort of far fetched story that stan Twitter sometimes likes to make up, but biz Socks didn't single that he was joking, and it only got stranger when he followed up with what appears to
be evidence of Dakota Johnson. Johnson handling the door to a Blue Bottle coffee location, writing that she quote closed the door on all of us who are still inside, pulled a rope out of her bag, tied the doors shut, walked away. We had to have a passer by untie the rope so we could get out. And then there's a photograph of Dakota Johnson with the doors at it.
Oh, I bet she did it.
Based on this photo alone, there's still an opportunity for Johnson to say that's not true. Allen, Okay, the pick doesn't show her actually shutting the door or tying the road. Thar aren't any viral videos of the incident floating around, but last October, a staff member who worked at the same Blue Bottle tweeted their own claim about Johnson. This
is unrelated quote. One time she came into my coffee shop at Milk Studios at like eleven am, walked behind the counter and started pretending that she was making drinks while her people tied the front doors shut from the outside and started filming her customers were trapped inside. The details of the legend incident very slightly, but overall it's an eerily similar anecdote. And the location in Bizsock's picture
is Milk Studios. This is like, let's just ask the person at this point in the at the article, it's like, just do the reporter thing where you actually ask the people involved as opposed to Yeah, So she reached out to Bis Socks, who turned out to be a New York named l j And He's been trying to make.
Sense of this, yeemes.
Before we spoke on the phone, he suggested that Johnson's take no prisoner's approach to the Latte Arts might have had something to do with a video the actress made for her SI January twenty seventeen Vogue cover story. Ok And it was filmed at Milk Studios and at the one oh seven Mark. Johnson wears the same floral Gucci dress the scene in the Blue Bottle photo. Blah blah blah blah blah. Okay, here is. I was waiting in line behind who turned out to be Dacota Johnson, and
I was like, this woman looks so familiar. Couldn't place it. I was like, it might be Emily Blunt, but then when I saw her face, I don't know because she.
I didn't know who the hell this was. Could have been.
Could have been Anna Kendrick, could have been I could have been l Fanning.
I didn't even know. I couldn't couldn't place her.
Is this is this generic white actress?
I think it is.
I went over to my mom and was like, hey, don't make a big deal, but that's Dakota Johnson from Fifty Shades of Gray. That's the reference point for Dakota Johnson's I don't.
Think so, that's by far her biggest franchise.
Yeah really, oh yeah, I think how Yeah she made a splash.
Am I thinking of the same Dakota. She was a child actor, Dakota love Oh. I mean that would have been Fanning.
Very wild if Dakota Fanning was locking people right, and I would have been like what.
But Dakota Johnson, I kind of like, I can see it.
Yeah, I can see That's now you can understand why I brought the story to the podcast. I don't know names. Also, I was shocked to fight out Dakota Fanning.
Lovable Dakota Fanning, child actor was in Fifty Shades of Gray.
Very upset. Yeah, you know, they got.
Quick, okay, but then she pulled like a rope out of her purse and literally just tied the door shut. One of the baristas ran over and was like, no, no, you can't do that. Stop and she just walked away. We were all inside looking completely dumbfounded as people were walking by. We were knocking on the door, and this couple stopped and figured out what we were doing and untied the rope. Yeah good, that's crazy.
Wow, Wildfire Country.
You know, I'll let you know that. This goes on for about eight more paragraphs and I'm not gonna read anymore.
But there's no definitive. So the answer is she did do this is what that?
Yes, she did.
In the next eight paragraphs, it's saying she did do it wild.
Yeah, it looks like based on these two people. Yeah.
The first thing that popped in my mind is is she doing a prank show like a hidden camera like it's a it's punked, But she she's the only one like altercating, like she's the she's the instigator in every prank. Maybe it's just like, yeah, Dakota Dakota's rules or something.
I could see. I mean, she would be the last person I would assume to do a prank show, which might make her the best person to do a prank show.
Yeah.
Also, I can one of the accounts had said that her people use the rope on the Yeah two, is that what it said?
Right?
Who's walking around with ropes? These tastes are celebrities walking around with ropes in their backs.
None of it's also very very fifty shades of gray to walk around.
Yeah, she has it for photos in case any fans come up and they're like, do the thing, and she pulls out the rope.
She's like, okay, guys.
I you know, I just already forgot that this wasn't Dakota Fanning, And I wanted to make the joke that if the prank show is called Fanning the Flames, everyone would love it. But then I had to look at it and see that her name is d Cooda Johnson, and that joke doesn't work. So I still wanted to say it, so I did.
Josh and Johnson, Well that's good, just Johnson, Yeah.
Yeah, that's cool. I mean, okay, so she was born into Hollywood royalty, and she's always acted a little differently, and she likes to make her own blue bottle coffee. I think the one part that's confusing to me is if I was a barista working there and the Coda Johnson. Really, honestly, any celebrity came around and started making coffee, I'd be okay with it. I would say this is a great
moment the one. The fact that there's not lots of video of it is the most suss part for me, because you think everybody in that place would film it the whole time and post it exactly.
That's true.
Yeah, speaking of prank shows, so she did did you ever do a prank show?
I auditioned for a prank show some random MTV thing that maybe didn't even happen.
I can't remember.
It was like years and years ago, and the audition was pranking someone, which like right, like now, I'm like, is that right?
Yeah?
I had like had an inner ear piece. They sent me into the world. No release forms were signed, and because it was an audition, right, it was an audition, yes, and I had to they I think the story was like I had to go up to a stranger and be like, oh my god, Eric, we met and like make up this whole backstory of like, oh we met at a party.
We had such a great.
Connection, and the guy's like, oh sorry, I don't remember you, and I'm like, oh, oh okay, no, It's just that meant a lot to me and like may make the try to really like pull heart strings, and it ended up being like nice, like he was like yeah, he like he felt bad. He was like, oh, I'm sorry, I don't remember you, but you seemed great blah blah blah. And then he walked away and like I was like, great, successful prank. And then the producers like, now go back
to that guy and start the exact same conversation. And I was like what so I had to go back and be like, oh my god, Eric, and he was like and then like the fear in his face was like yeah, oh no, oh she's off.
Something's off here, Like I'm talking to a crazy person.
And I felt so bad because I was like he could have gone about his day being like what a crazy interaction.
Now he's like, oh, this.
Is wild, and I didn't even get the job. And I was like I ruined some man's day and I didn't even get the job.
Well that's New York City. I mean you could have the same person walking up to you repeatedly starting the same sentence over and over and over and just okay, here we go.
That is the thing that you don't realize, Like the people watching prankiss don't realize that this is that the person has an earpiece and there's just a producer being like push it, yeah, push it farther, do it more, be worse. I did one. I did one. It was again I guess it was just a pilot. It never made it to air, thank fucking god. Only had to do this once.
Yeah.
It was based on a British prank show. And this was again I was twenty two, I think. And it was a character that they did in England or in the UK for a while called Mister Stinks. And he just smelled bad, that was the deal. And he would just go on dates with people and he just smelled bad.
That was all.
So they got this suit for me and they like soaked it in coyote piss and skunk stuff. They like ordered all this stuff off the internet. And it smelt so bad that when I would put it on, like I would almost be gagging.
Yeah.
And then there and it was women who would set up their friends. So they would say, I have a blind date for you. I think you're really gonna like this guy. So it's all these women who would set up their friend. And then it was just how long I could keep them at the date, Like, and I smelt so bad and it was just upsetting. It was just essentially upsetting. It was either people being like, you smell bad, I'm not good doing this, and it was
like why do we make them do that? Or it would be people who are just being really polite and like sticking it out through the date. Oh, and it was and the only thing I could do was like get closer to the person. That was the only way to like escalate the thing. Like yeah, and then and my dressing room was the back of a mini van, so I'd like change and it was it was February. It was like negative twenty degrees out.
Which is also like I guess it's bad for the dates, but it's worse for you, Like, yeah, you are the one wearing that.
Your nose is closest to all of.
The clothing, and it's like an eight hour day or like having it on for eight hours straight.
It was so oh, mister stinks, look it up. Wow. That sounds terrible. But I do miss when Cable made shows like now we're at the point where it's in practical jokers or nothing else. It's it good for those guys, for Bill an empire that is unfathomably popular and huge, And Sal's always been a cool dude, but like, there was a time where all of us made a little bit of money here and there just doing pilots for MTV or VH one or IFC or Comedy Central or
I mean it was a w true TV. It was like you could relyled making I don't know, five grand or whatever in a year just doing some dumb cable shows or a little writer's room. And how that is just gone.
It's gone.
Yeah, a lot of those networks are gone. All those shows are gone.
Yeah.
I can't just bop in somewhere like.
For a week and be like all right, that's I got some money, you know, like just like little guest spots here and there.
It doesn't really happen.
You did inside Amy Schumer at one point, right, yeah, right, great example, there was a time where kamed Central had I think all at once they had Colbert and Daily Show, they had Tash and South Park, and then they had Workaholics, Broad City, Kroll, Schumer, Key and Peel they had, I mean just.
That same time.
Talent alone is unthinkable, how many great comedic pieces they had and now it's just gone. Now it's just the office reruns.
And so crazy.
It's all of that talent and they lost all of it. Yeah, and GOM Central presents like and they had the half hours and the hours. It's wild how that how ten years ago we all could rely on selling stuff for being in our friends things on that network and now it is office reruns. Wild. Yeah, we got to take it back. Now it's just all podcasting now, that's what it is. Everybody's podcast really is.
Everyone has a podcast, and they're all also TV shows. They're also all videos too. They're not actually no listen to the podcast, they watch it on their phone.
Yeah, that's really true. If I had bet on YouTube correctly. Boy, YouTube just is still a juggernaut, like everything else falls away, and YouTube is just getting bigger and bigger. Yeah, wild times. Uh, speaking of getting bigger and bigger, Whiskey Bacon sent this one in. This was in People magazine, so you know it's medium. It's by Carol Lynn Schultz, who's the best in the medium. Biz Man twenty two years of age is allergic to his own orgasms and his symptoms can last for days.
No, he is not.
This is a People magazine, Kert.
I mean people vets. People vets people, So all right, I'm excited. Tell me about it.
A man who has experienced extreme physical and mental distress following an org. Kert, this is an affliction.
That's an affliction.
I'm sorry, Kert, this is an affliction.
We can't This is like that time we heard that story about the oh the woman about the dropping, you know, the tower at amusement parks where it just drops. You know, it was a story about what that that malfunc should had. They dropped for twenty four hours, over and over. It was like eighteen thousand times, Oh my god, that we could not stop laughing. And turns out we got duped. It was just a fake starf We laughed so hard the whole time, just being like, now, this is the tragedy.
This will probably be horrible to be on. But this is also the funniest thing I've ever heard.
All Right, this one's not quite as wild as that one. But a man, a man it is. He's only twenty two, so you know, there's there's time.
There's time he could grow out of his.
As.
Has he tried zirtech? That's my first question.
Yeah, Benadol needs to make condoms for this guy. A man who experienced extreme physical and mental distress following an orgasm. Research his symptoms online, and he has learned he has a rare disorder that he is allergic to his own orgasms.
He's not allergic it. Maybe it's caused by it. But the word allergic is not the right word for this man's condition.
I don't know. As he turns out, he was right. A twenty two year old man sought care after documenting that for years he experienced flu like symptoms for several hours after ejaculation. According to the American Journal of Case Reports,
he struggled with weakness, malays, running nose, itchy eyes. His symptoms began two to three hours kurt this is an affliction two to three hours after ejaculation, and by eight to ten hours they were worse, progressing into conjunctiveviis abdominal pain, muscle pain, cognitive impairment, and he described his brain was not functioning what These episodes lasted for two to three days, preventing him from going to work, and research notes that
due to these reactions, he avoided sexual activity and had difficulty in relationship.
Can imagine I can imagine?
Did the true edge Lord? He arrived for in evaluation notes after reading online about hyposensitization to sperm. However, a skin test determined he wasn't allergic to his own semen, So that's a positive.
Yeah, yeah, that's.
A little silver lining in there.
He's not allergic.
He's not allergic to his own semen. That's just the orgasms just having a great time with doctors concluding that mass cells, a type of immune cells, were triggering the allergic reaction. The condition post orgasmic illness syndrome POIS or POISSE, is a rare condition with unclear causes. A study in Nature says, adding that it affects the quality of life of men. Yes, I imagined it would wow. In the case of this twenty two year old. Also, good on
Carol Lynn Schultz for just not naming this guy. This guy deserves some anonymity here. In the case of this twenty two year old, he was treated with omal. Oh man, this is a crazy word. Omal Liz zoom maab omala zoomab. Sorry. I know it sounds like I'm making things up, but in the US it's known as exolayer, which can treat hives and asthma. So there you go.
That's crazy.
The exolaire resulted in complete resolution of symptoms the case sets, and adding that after seven months he stopped taking the medication, which resulted in the symptoms returning. This guy's going to be taking exo layer or zo layer. Maybe it's zo layer, it's xol Yeah, we'll go zolair. That sounds cooler. While on zolair, the patient is symptom free and feels comfortable
engaging in sexual activity. That's a win. Given its effectiveness and the fact that the patient tried other medications beforehand with zero success, we recommended that he continues on o'mal zoomab for life so it has a happy ending. They can treat his allergic reaction to his own orgasms. Wow about that.
Here's here's a would you rather for you this year? Say you had this, but the medication that you took I had a side effect where even when you weren't engaged in sexual activity, just normally, you would just flap your hand, like flap your arm like a chicken, do you know what I mean? Like this like this, So that's kind of how you would go through life, and if people asked you about it, you'd have to be, oh, this is a side effect of my medication. So that
I can come. Which which would you choose to not to have the allergic reaction or to have that medication.
I mean, this is actually kind of easy for me because I feel like women's birth control already does that. It's it's already like I do you want to get pregnant or have your arm flap consistently? Like if I
guess I'll have my arm flap consistently, then fine. But like the amount of friends I talked to and people in my family that's like, oh well, I don't come any more, or I sweat, I night sweat, or I get migraines or you know, it's like all these things because we have just consistently been put on birth control and like no other options have been given to us. True, this is our life, this is what we does deal
with all the time. And also, like part of me was kind of jealous hearing this story because I'm like, Wow, these doctors really took time to investigate what was going on with this young man. That's so wonderful. I don't know what that's like. I don't know that does not happen to women hardly ever. If a woman went in was like this weird thing's happening to me. They'd be like, you're hysterical, Like something's wrong with you.
You're exaggerating. You probably have a cold bite like there's.
Yeah, it's probably in your head.
You probably have a cold. Get on birth control, yeah, well, or Tricyclin's coming for you.
Yeah.
There's been times where I actually questions about something and they're like, you should just get on birth control. And I'm like, I'm literally got off of birth control because it was causing other problems.
And they're like, yeah, but that's the only way I know.
Yeah, but wasn't it. Yes, because we have samples.
Yeah, you should try this one instead.
Actually, And that's why Scotty and I recommend vasectomies. Boys pas no, no no side effects.
Leep, Like yeah, the only side effect is great night's sleep for the rest of your life, zero worries. Yeah, that's a There was a thing I read a few years ago that were all these women that started on birth control in like as early as eighth grade or seventh grade, and then we're on it in high school and we're in college. They met the dudes they were going to marry. Then when they got married and they
were going to start families. They got off birth control and were no longer attracted to their partner yep, whoa, because the birth was tricking them into thinking they were pregnant, and then because their body constantly felt like they're pregnant, they sort of were like, oh, they had this life partner that they were clinging to, like okay, we'll raise this thing together. And then when they got off it, like the pheromones, they didn't like the way they smelled,
they didn't that. When I read that, I mean maybe it's eight years ago, I was like, wow, that is what. It's not just a body thing, it's like a mind thing too.
Really, I mean, I I don't want to be like birth control kept me straight. But when I was on birth control, I was consistently dating men, and I think
I thought, you know, women were attractive, et cetera. But like it was' until I got off a birth control where I was like, oh wait a minute, and now yeah, yeah truly, and now I'm dating a woman and like you know, full one to eighty and not that I'm not attracted to men, but just like I was like, oh, this is very different than what I was feeling before.
And I do wonder if it like dulled some some senses over the years, because I was truly I was on birth control since I was sixteen, so like, yeah, exactly when my friends were like boy crazy, I was like, I don't feel anything. And then eventually I was like, I guess I'll start dating, and like it was never I was never excited to do it until yeah, I got my hormones were doing what they did naturally, and I was like, oh, wait a minute, I'm excited about ladies.
That's great.
Also amazing.
Comically, on your Wikipedia page, you may know this, Like I looked you up, you know, yesterday when we were prepping and and it's the last fact on your Wikipedia pages in twenty twenty fours this year came out as a lesbian. That's the last thing on your Wikipedia. And I'm like, was it her or did some fan go Finally we have a new nugget of information to contribute to the encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
Yeah, yeah, I don't edit my Wikipedia.
Yeah, of course you don't.
The people do.
They were like, yes, you have to let people know that when you look her up, she's a lesbian.
Yes, the people should know It's just a great sentence to be like somebody was like, here's a new tidbit. Yeah, you should have a tidbit section on Wikipedia.
Well, they have a trivia section, and the saddest part of my Wikipedia pages it says via Kurt Brown Older is a stand up comedian.
No did you know?
Did you know?
Little?
No fact?
True or false. I don't find him funny, so I'm putting false very funny, so I'm putting true.
Let me seees us into some shout outs, some thumbs up. I love passenger clings on the outside of one hundred and seventy five mile per hour German train after doors shut him out on a cigarette break.
Okay, on a cigarette break. They got flung to the side of one hundred and fifty mile an hour, one hundred seventy.
Five mile prime or he was actually like gripping it.
He was on the door, He's on the doorframe. He's just pushing himself against the doorframe. It's like an inch and a half.
Dakota Johnson's just kicking him in the Chestnules, get out of here. I'm trying to make a latte. Okay, thumbs ups. First of all, I want to thank all the bananimals are we closed our go fundme for fire relief. We raised fivey, one hundred and twenty four dollars for California Fire Foundation, which goes to fire victims and the firefighters who went and fought them. So thanks, Kurt. I looked up and the multiple gofundmes we've done because of the Banana's,
including Door to Shores. We've had seven hundred and fifty four individual donors to all those campaigns. We've raised forty four thousand, two hundred and thirty eight USD one hundred and ninety Canadian dollars at seventy five British pounds. So this is that funny. It breaks it down like that, So thank you. Love that to the seven hundred and fifty four people who have donated all these charitable things. Now, Autumn Schuster wants to big thumbs up her husband Jordan
for getting promoted. Jordan is a reluctant but great leader, which is probably the best kind there is. That's a cool sum sence. Thumbs up to you, Jordan, way to get the promotion. U Gina Binaz thumbing up Benjamin for turning one year old. He is a day one Banana who went to a Bananas Live in Utero. Gina Iso, that's pretty good. Gina is also thumbing herself up for being two years sober. Banana skits her through tough times. Thanks for the lofts. You are welcome.
Thumbs up and combs up to everybody who's in the middle of their dry sixty nine. We're right there with you.
Yeah, we're thirty something days in. I think this is a great one. This is a truly unique one. Amber wants to thumb up Blake Brown, who's age fourteen. I think he listens to bananas too. Blake earned his personal best score three hundred and seventy six out of four hundred with fifteen bullseyes in four h BB gun shooting competition. Thumb I mean, I didn't even know there was a daisy BB gun shooting competition. He's going to the Daisy
BB gun Nationals. So congratulations comes up. Let's take him to the state Fair and have him shoot out some stars and win some stuffed animals. That's a great job. Heck yeah, I'll do one more. Let's see what's a fun one. Oh, this is just a fun one. The Banana boys are thumbing up the Instagram account pdx dino Rama. There's a woman named Rachel in Portland, Orga. She builds dinosaur dioramas all around Portland and puts them out. They're just scattered around the city. You can find them on
her Instagram. Or if you're just walking by in Portland and you see a diorama and it's featuring dinosaurs, it's probably Rachel's instagram pdx Dinorama. Go take a look, send us a pick. We have a lot of Portland ban animals. But that's just inserting absurdity into the world for the joy of it. So thumbs up to you, Rachel.
That is y and how easy is it? That's so easy? In beauty they're really cool too, really cool. Not saying that it's not saying that the dioramas are easy to make, not at all, but I mean the impulse to insert absurdity into the world can be done so easily, you know, go and do it, folks. Yeah.
I love seeing things that like make the neighborhood more fun, where it's like, oh yeah, like door painted on at the bottom of a tree to make it look like a secret tree house, or like like legos filling up potholes or something, you know, like that stuff is so fun and then you're like, there's someone creative here like that.
I don't know where they are, but they're Oh my gosh.
Is that reminded me of I don't know if it ever got figured out.
Maybe it did, but.
There when I was in New York this is like two thousand and nine, I remember I kept seeing these like red ekg lines all over the place, like yeah, and I don't know who's all over the city. It felt like it was everywhere I went. So I was like, am I doing it? Am I blacking out?
And it was crazy. It was like like in my neighborhood.
It was like in green Point, it would be on my way to UCB. I just felt like it was everywhere, and I was like, is it one person? Is it a ring of people? Like and what does it mean? But I really loved seeing it because it made me You're like like it's like, oh my gosh, there's another one, Like like now it's a scavenger hunt, like how many little lines can I find?
Yeah? I loved it.
Oh that's so great. Do you do you remember from that time?
We're about to say the same thing you go, I want to see.
Okay, do you do you remember neck face from back in that time.
I don't remember neck face, but I remember was it Dick Ham or something ham?
What was the other one?
I don't know, Dick Ham or neck face?
Was it was chicken dick or dick chicken. That's what it was, Dick chicken. It was it was it was the body of a chicken with the head of a shaft.
There you go.
Uh. Neck face was just it just would say neck face and it would be kind of almost like blocky, kind of long letters, and it was all over Brooklyn back in the day, like probably yeah, two thousand and nine ten. But I guess neck face moved to La because now there's a neck face right as you come into Atwater Village. And my daughters seven saw and she was like neck face and she's like what is that?
And then I just kind of explained the laffiti and pieces to her and like public art, and she was like okay, and then it was like maybe she like so then every day she got drav go neck face and say it as we drove by, and then she just like maybe it was like three weeks ago she was just like we're waiting at the light and she just goes, I'm gonna become a graef feedy artist when I grow up.
Good.
She's like I thought, her inspired starter.
Now she's not going to go to jail. You know, she's got a good run of thirteen years or whatever before she can get arrested for it. Get her out there, get her tagging. Also, Olive's a good name for a tag. Just draw at Olive with a smiley face.
I like that.
That's great.
I was going to say, I'm sure you all remember this, and I hope you haven't forgotten this. But there was somebody used to go around, especially Brooklyn, and they would outline the shadows of from street lights on signs and stuff and so on the concrete there'd be a chalk outline of the sign or the bike or whatever. And I could never catch the person who's doing it. But like I'd go into a bar and come out and
somebody would have done it. But all they would do is wherever the street light was, whatever projected the shadow on the parking meter or the no parking time, they would just outline that with chalk on the sidewalk.
It was so smart.
It's so simple.
Yeah, it's so simple. That's so beautiful. I love that.
I'm gonna assume. I'm just gonna assume that was a year, because why not. Great job. We love your your public art. She control, she was blacked out the whole time, kissing dudes and shadows, smooching dudes and drawn shadows.
That's the wild time. All right, let's I'll send us home with this. This is from The Independent, so it's sort of real. This is written by Natalie Wilson. Thank you, Natalie, you are the best in the business. You can, of course send your your strange news to us. Our Instagram is The Bananas Podcast. You can DM us there, or you can email us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. Passenger clings onto outside of one hundred and seventy five mile per hour German train after doors shut
him out on cigarette break. The man held on for almost twenty miles as the train sped at one hundred and seventy five miles per hour. A fair evading passenger clung to the cables of a high speed German train after a lengthy cigarette break saw the carriage doors close on his luggage. Unwilling to be left behind without his bags. The man jumped onto the outside of the train when it punctually pulled away while he was still smoking an
Inglestat state at Inglestat station, reported the BBC. The forty year old Hungarian national held onto a bracket between carriages as the train continued to Nuremberg at one hundred and seventy five miles per hour.
Wow.
He had boarded the IC train Munich without a valid ticket before getting off the train for a cigarette at Inglestat, please said. The inter City Express train on a six hour journey in the northern city of Lubec was stopped by federal police nineteen miles away in Kinding, Upper Bavaria after witnesses alerted officials to the stowway.
Well, he said, six hour journey or the.
He went twenty miles at one hundred and seventy five miles per hour, So what that's like maybe six minutes or something. Okay, but you can go six hours on this train, apparently, I guess that's what.
But they're like, we have to stop this.
Yeah, so yeah, I'm running the numbers over here. So he went twenty miles doing one hundred and seventy five miles an hour? No, is that what you said?
Yeah? How many minats somewhere?
Would that say?
Sixty into one seventy five is something like two and a half and then two and a half times twenty, So it's like, oh, okay, forty yeah, no really yeah, forty.
Minute, we're on it. Fifty eight fifty eight minutes twenty miles.
I'm like, no, it can't be. We did our we did.
I listened to you. I'll never do that again. Where's Ai? Where's Ai?
This is like one of those like textbook math questions where it's like a man jumps on a train at one hundred and seventy five miles per hour.
Twenty sorry, no, it's more like twenty seconds eleven minutes a mile over twenty seconds. Yeah yeah, yeah, I did it the other way around. Yeah, it's eleven minutes.
But that's crazy.
That's still crazy.
That's still really crazy, especially because I guess I don't know how those trains work, but on like a New York subway, if you hit the emergency, either it stops or the conductor gets alerted immediately.
So like, did they just watch him do that for ten minutes?
And someone was like right, Okay, I'll tell the person, I don't this looks unsafe.
Everyone's just looking at their phone the whole time, but yeah,
probably right. I mean we used when I would go out because I had a I had a surf shack in Rockaway, like a quarter block from the beach, and so I would often do shows and then get on the A train and take the A train all the way out to Rockaway to surf in the morning, and we we routinely, routinely would pee between the cars because like you would just be on the train for an hour and a half after like you know, in your twenties, like drinking, probably after your show, and it was it
was often done, and it was terrifying. And that train goes like fifteen miles an hour. Yeah, but to ride in between subway cars is like terrifying, and you know, nothing bad it's gonna happen because it's like you're kind of walled in on all sides. So I can't imagine one hundred and seventy five miles an hour like that.
No, that's so fast. I once got to ride in the pace car at a NASCAR event out just outside of La we were I was with the workhogs dudes, and we got to do like a lap before the actual race, and that guy that drives the official it was like a jacked up Camray or whatever. It was down one hundred and ten. But it you know, like when you were kids on the highway or something, somebody would get up to one hundred and be so scary and all our shitty cars would shake and you'd be like,
oh my god. But for somebody to do it sustained and then turning it was wild. It was like I was like, well, I guess this guy's a pro. It's a good day to die, because but one hundred and ten fell out of control and he was just you know, calm as can be talking to us, and you're like, damn man, that's it was wild.
Yeah, wild.
I gotta know what was in that suitcase or that bag. But he left, Like what why is it so important that you couldn't like just wait till the train got to the next station called the customer service.
Or whatever to be like, hey, I lost my bag.
Like he had to jump on like risk his life essentially for whatever was in that bag.
Yeah, that's a great question. What was it? What was it illegal? Or was it just so important was it an anniversary present.
It's the same thing that was in the briefcase in pulp fiction. It was just light. He couldn't let his light get away.
Controls the light, That's what it was. It was just a cheese tray, like it is. That is what is worth risking your Like we all just experienced this because we all just fled when we had to evacuate, and it was like you find yourself grabbing the bare minimum and nothing simultaneously.
I bought nothing. I brought nothing other than the kid's dog and wife. I didn't really bring the wife.
She brought herself.
Yeah, what did you grab?
I grabbed. I actually was really impressed with how prepared I was. Had a go back and then one other outfit I didn't.
I only had a sports the sports bra I was wearing.
I forgot to pack other bras, but I was like, well, eventually I'll go home, I guess, or just buy them. And then I did try to have some keepsakes, like, uh, my friend Nicole bought me a wrap for like toy, like like a white.
Friend, and I was like, I gotta have this.
That's really funny.
Some love letters and the deed to my house.
That's smart. Yeah, that's incredibly smart to grab the deed deer. I left it all. I left it deeds to my car, like titles for my car, deeds to my house. But it was all there.
Yeah. I did a pretty good job.
You're very well. You're a good survival partner. That's good to know. God, it was a yeah, it's interesting to see what you grab again. Going back to this guy, what could it have been? Like it is? I wish that the story had that in there. It seems so I know gold bars, right? Was he like an old door to door salesman who sold kids whistles and and and butter knives? And you're like, what is this and who is this man? That's really butter knives? I don't know.
I don't know what potato what you're selling? And hungry? Yeah, yeah, maybe you're selling potato peelers.
He seemed playing cards, tricks, you know, fun things. Uh, it would be funny if it was empty. You just really liked that bag. He's just obsessed with such a.
They don't make this bag anymore. I can't get another one. It's greative.
It was actually a plastic bag. Just plastic bag tied it half.
It's always recycled.
Damn.
So shere where can they find you? Plug away? Where can the bananamals hunt you down and become your best friend?
But animals can go to my website sosheer dot com and I try to update it, but I probably don't. And right now it's accurate and my socials are at the Sheer Truth thhe Sheer Truth. And you can watch my special The First Woman on Hulu or on YouTube. My first special, Peace of Mind is also on Amazon maybe Hulu. There's It's in places and uh everywhere. And Agatha Along is on Disney Plus.
That's a hit. It's a hit, bab, You're in a hit.
And yeah, just like you know, follow me to keep updated on what I'm doing and listen to best friends.
Listen to best friends and have the best time in SNL fifty year reunion or part of history. That's going to be very cool and exciting. It's somehow cathartic and make those stress go away when you can just party and hang out, I hope.
So yeah, I'm feeling good about it. It feels like like a college re engineer or something. Yeah, I'm excited to go back to where it began.
Oh heck, yeah yeah.
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