It Scotti, Oh, Curtie Bee, Uh here it is. This isn't a funny one, but it is a fun one, Okay.
I'm ready to laugh and laugh and laugh.
Why do ghosts float and shimmer?
She yeah, I don't know. And we're not quite all the way into the you know, we're not full swing Christmas Hanukah kwans yet, but we're creeping right up on Thanksgiving. So I'll just give a little gobble gobble. It's time for a little bananas world.
Would your livesillion pieces?
Would you? Ba ba ba ba?
Hey, guys, gals, non binary palace, Welcome to Bananas. Hello, Scottie Landis, Howard.
Curdie b you got you look like you're in a standing sleeping bag right now, are you.
It is so cold it has finally become cold in Los Angeles, which is a delight. It is my My garage maintains a deathly coldness. Uh ten degrees colder than outside. I don't know how or why it does it.
So I am.
Yes, I'm very bundled, but you know what, I'm gonna get warmed up and I'm gonna probably take this jacket off.
I bet you will. That reminds me. We got a message. We had a message gim to us a while ago. Let me find it real quick. Sadie Rain sent this message in said Alaskan bananimal here. Heck yeah, come do a show in Alaska. If you come in the winter, go to Homer or sold in Soldotna.
I've never perform in Homer.
No. One just said it'll be colder than anything you've ever experienced, but it's much more your vibe, and the locals will be wearing sweatshirts.
That is true. I remember I did. I did some shows in Fairbanks, and then part of the deal was that we would drive out to this town that was just a military base. It was essentially that's all there was in the town was a military base. It was about like an hour and a half for two hours away from Fairbanks, and the whole town was like a grocery store, a gas station, and one bar restaurant. And the bar restaurant was where the show was at. And it was it was October in Alaska.
It was very cold.
I had a winter jacket on and everyone was outside in T shirts and everyone was calling me a whimp for having my winter jacket.
Mark please well in la when it's sixty five, people are in a snow hat and a jacket. I went out in a T shirt and jeans just to grab some coffee the other morning, and I was the only person wearing a T shirt and people were full winter apparel and it was sixty degrees out. But you just get used to it.
It's fun. It's fun to because it's like, really, people in La they're like, coseplay winter, you know, sixty degrees They put all their stuff on there like here we are, it's winter.
Really true. It's so funny because I think a lot of people have this idea of New England. Like a lot of women friends of mine are like, you went to school mass Jusetts. I'm like, I sure did, and they're like, oh, I've always wanted to go to Boston. And then it almost always comes back to they just really want to wear their sort of fallen winter coats and clothing. It has nothing to do with the culture
of the city. It's absolutely has to do with the wardrobe that you can wear when the leaves are changing colors and a light just a light flurry is falling.
I think my favorite artarticle of clothing to purchase is a light jacket. I will look at light jackets online four hours. Do I ever buy them? I do not know because I'm always like, I have a jacket already. I can't justify I have like probably two like light jackets, and I can't, but I want so many more light jackets.
Apparently, my dad for like thirty years, while working in Baltimore in an office building, when fall would hit, he would tell somebody in the office the same joke every year. And you would say, did you hear somebody jumped out of the building, the Lake Mason building or whatever, and everybody go, oh, my god, no, and my dad would say, it's okay, though they were wearing a light fall jacket.
A light fall, I mean, like so light fall, you know, it's so almost doesn't work, but for.
Office comedy that it's a standing ovation for water cooler jokes. Oh, it's okay. He was wearing his light fall jacket. That's where I get it from. That's why I just keep cranking out script after script, baby, But yes, thank you for sending that in. We will one day do an Alaska show. It is a Banana's Live will come to Alaska. But I'm going to tell you right now. It's gonna be smack dab in the middle of summer, probably July fourth.
Yeah, it would be nice if it was a NonStop sunlight. While I either want NonStop sunlight or I want total darkness the whole time. I want to experience that once in.
My life extreme. You're a man of extremes, you know, I am.
I remember writing it by my journal as a fourteen year old.
Oh boy, if.
You don't experience the extremes, how will you know where the middle is?
That's great? Also now I usually.
I mean fourteen, I see I just see the doors the movie, and I'll was like, that's me.
And having known you through a lot of your adult life, I feel like you did go for the extremes, and you know you are happily in that middle. You function in the middle.
I am my dad. I could function very well. Yeah, in pretty much anywhere in America at this point, I could. I'm just right down the middle.
I think there's a coffee table book, there's a toilet a toilet table book. There's an urban outfitters book in there. If you could just get comedians who are successful to give everybody gives like five journal entries from when they were in middle school or high school, and you just compile it and then I mean, you start with that quote right there, and you just had caught something extreme journaling our way to the middle. But I think people
would read that. There was that came out ten god, maybe like fifteen years ago called The Things I've Learned from the Women Who Dump Me. I think that's what it was called. Of that book. It was all comics and they would write an essay about somebody who broke up with them and what happened the relationship itself, and what they learned from it. I always thought that was such a good idea for like a just pick it up and read a book.
Oh it's a great idea. That's a fantastic idea.
But yours is even more interesting because comedians are so everybody thinks they're dark and they're you know, they're come from a place of hurt and a lot do but a lot don't. They're just really sensitive people who are very aware.
Yes, I agree one hundred percent with that. I think it's a very sense and that is why it's very It is funny to meet comedians now who are like somewhat edge lords that we know. Oh yeah, that are the like the majority, Like so many of them are like little puddle kitty cats emotionally in person, they're just like, how are you?
Man?
I miss you so much? Man, I love your kids. They're so and you're just like, what is going on? You go on stage and you say horrible things? Horrible things?
Yes, Megan Gaily are our good dear friend, and multiple guests and multiple time guests on the pod said to me recently over beer, she goes, the people who are the meanest on stage are the sweetest off stage, and the people who are the sweetest and most jovial on stage are often the meanest off stage. Yes, I would say that you maybe buck that trend, but your last special was a little edgier, so maybe you're you're finding that middle, that extreme middle.
This episode is going to be called extreme Middles.
Yeah, the extreme middle. Welcome to the extreme.
She is not wrong. I agree with that. How are you? What's going on with you?
Palm? I'm great? Let me think if I have any cool and interesting updates, not extremely The one big update, well not even update, just a fun thing is for the first time in my adult life, my family's coming to me for the holiday for Christmas. I'm very excited to host, and I'm very excited to just not have to deal with holiday travel. Also, every year, you know, doing this show now for the last four years, it's like we get so many news stories and every year
somebody sends some version of this. But every single holiday season they say record breaking travel, record breaking travelers say that how is this possible?
How is it possible? They're like, they're also like the birth rate is down, record breaking travel. Who Who's who? Extra is traveling?
Who? Let's get into some ghosty stuff. I like to talk ghosts. Our good friend Roz Hernandez loves to talk ghosts.
So this was I found this online. It was just you know, the old Instagram algorithm send it to me. This dude, Jason K. Pargin online he did like just like a video about this, and then I found an article about it. And this is phantasmagoria the birth of the floating ghost. So this is specifically in you know, Mysterious Times, Scott, how often are you reading Mysterious Times.
The real mystery is when I'm not reading there, it is I wake up put on my oculous rift scan until I get to mysterious times and then just zone out for sometimes weeks at a time. Uh.
This was written by uh Kirs Mason de Raven. Oh yes, okay, I'm starting to question the validity of this story, but let's go for it. Kirsed Mason de Raven. Oh, man, it's d apostrophe Raven. It's a great name, kirst de Raven. So this is I'm getting some of these information. But here here, this is like the kind of sub it is. January seventeen ninety nine at TN Gaspard Robert we debuts his Phantasmagoria in a ruined abbey in Paris. Little does he know he is about to become the trendsetter of
the way ghosts are poor trade. So this is totally fascinating. Oh yeah, so you know, like in the video that I originally saw, it's like an image of the ghosts from the opening scene of the original ghostbusterat scene right where she's floating in a library in the Library of Congress. And what he's explaining is basically like ghosts didn't look like this until the mid eighteen hundreds. Before this, ghosts
were always depicted as being physical beings. They were never translucent, They were never floating that you could never put your hand through them. They were actual physical bodies that would like bump into you and like knock you over, or they would close a door. They would either be visible or they'd be physical bodies. And then now since like the mid eighteen hundreds, we now only see ghosts as this type.
Of floating you know, yeah, it makes you wonder.
And so it was, and it's really comes from technology. So there was this technological innovation in seventeen ninety nine called it was a projector that would project an image on a wall. And obviously the and the main thing that they would show with these images is like ghostly things. And since it always was on the wall, the image never went to the ground, it always appeared as if the image was floating. So and because it was like you know, seventeen ninety nine technology, the light was pretty
diffuse and so it was very translucent. But people would come and get freaked out because it would just be like these pictures because you know, with photography, fee first off, it started off with the phantasmagoria and then once photography started really kicking in, you know, you had to stand still for so long, and that's why people never smiled and photographs back in the day, because you had to hold it for like eight minutes.
And if you no toilets, they had no modern plumbing either. They were just staring dead down the barrel of that camp. They were going, They're.
Going, I wish Instagram existed. Oh, but if you got up like two minutes into your photo session, you would leave this like translucent image behind and so then people would be you know, purposefully doing this, you know, dressed up in like kind of like crazy masks and stuff like that, and then people would be selling them as
pictures of ghosts. Great, and just because of those two technological innovations, that is why we now only see ghosts the way we see ghosts, and that is even to the point where people are like, I saw a ghost, this is what it looked like, and then they just describe something that was invented in seventeen ninety nine, which is very very interesting.
Yes, that is interesting because I think that obviously the human mind is a storytelling brain.
It's our main thing.
Yeah, the main thing is we try to make sense of the world through stories. And it's not surprising at all to me that when the suggestion was given to the masses, that that's what everybody pictures and everybody says they saw.
And do you read Sapiens?
I did read Sapiens.
Yeah, that is if anybody is interested in a not a quick.
Easy read. No, it's a dense read.
But honestly, you don't have to actually read it. I'll just tell you what the whole thousand page book is about.
Yes, it's just about.
Everything in like the reason humans became what they are and our evolution evolutionary advantage was just our ability to tell stories. And if you think about it, every single thing in our world is a story that we have invented. From money to government, to love to science, everything is just America.
Columbus, George Washington. I cannot tell a lie, the shootout of the Okay Corral never you know, all those things, Like, it's amazing how many stories that we all just assume are true.
Most of history, most of history that we've been taught is just a story someone made up.
Yeah, if it rhymes, you're really really gonna kick. Yeah, you're in. If you can make history that rhymes, you're gonna be like typic Canoe and Taylor two, you're in forever.
I don't even know what that is.
Nobody does. Nobody does. I know. It must be weird for historians, true historians, to watch people just change history based on opinion and to be like, but that's not how it happened. And then you're like, well, you're just going to accept it because the majority says this is how it was. And then that story. I'm sure I told this. I was down at down at Laguna friend of mine, my friend Martha, was doing a play at
the Laguna Playhouse. It's like a really nice theater down there, and it's one of those places where there's the older folks go, so like if you go on a Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday matinee, it's packed and people are going to go see And she was in what was the play? It
was the Graduate. She was doing the Graduate, And so I thought I was going to hit nine hours of traffic, of course, because I had to travel upwards of forty miles in southern California, and instead I got there so fast that I was like, oh, i'll kill some time at a bar. And I go to this bar that's like on the cliffs above Laguna Beach, and it was who a bunch of older folks, and the bartender was really good sun shining and I'm having a cocktail or two.
And this will date it a little bit too. This woman goes to the bartender, have you seen Game of Thrones yet? And the guy's like, no, no, no, I haven't seen that yet. Like I heard. It's crazy though. It's got like dragons and stuff and castles and like brothers and sisters having sex. And the woman goes, well, that's how it was back then, and then just high five to her friend and stumbled out of the bar. Just a historical recreation game of throws it was. That's
just how it was back then. Just dragons and brothers and sisters.
And a night that lasts one hundred years. That's how it was back then.
There's a giant wall, it was the undead. That's just how it goes. And then just walks out like we all put up. She gives us a couple of high fives, just just a nice sixty year old, probably thrice divorced woman, just letting us know how.
He's living her best life. And Laguna Beach going to a bar in the afternoon.
Oh man, nothing else to do.
Gorgeous.
It is nothing else gorgeous.
What a nice air. My sister lives in right next door to Laguna Beach, and it is. It's a delight. It's a delight down there.
One of the best bars in southern California is called Turks and it's indanea Point and it's on the Marina. And I think the guy that owned it or started that bar was named Turk and I he was Hercules and a few movies in Hollywood and early Hollywood is like a strong guy, but like strong guys back then, they were strong, but they were kind of big and soft. Like now they're all the rock and all that. They all look like walnuts stuffed in stockings and it's different.
And Turks is I went there the first time. I'm like, okay, and you'd love it. I don't know if you've been. But it's got like fit in the ceiling. It has fish tanks, so you look at fish.
I thought you were gonna say fish dead. I was like classic, and then you said fish tanks. I was like, I gotta go.
Yeah. And then they have if you want to order food, they bring a whole chalkboard like sandwich board over your table and just lean it there with all the it's all written in chalk, and you're like, this is fun. And then the bartender just came over, you know, sixty five year old guy slides me a TUTSI roll before I order, then after I order it comes back, you know, slides me a little Snicker's bite and he just hands out little candy year round to the people. Why as
you're getting drunk. It is the best Turks with a C. T U r C is one of the best bars in California.
All right, I'm gonna go next time. I'm down there. My god, that sounds awesome.
And you've ever seen a ghost? Right when we talked to Rod? Yeah, I heard. I think I heard something talk to me once, But I've never seen a ghost. Nope. And I watched it so bad.
I don't think I want to, but.
I'm too eager.
Yeah, you're too eager. They're like, don't even bother. No, I've never ever ever I remember thinking I saw like UFO when I was like twelve, But it was just a dot in the sky, could have been at anything, you know, not at all, And.
Why would you? I sure do Paris Calvakas sent this in what a great name. Paris Calvakas, thank you. Can always send your stories into the Bananas Podcast at gmaio or the Bananas Podcast on Instagram, hm or We have a website and I don't know, I think it links to everything bananaspodcast dot.
Com made by Torimseth.
Tory Hemseth worldwide wonderful. And we also have new merch. We never talked about merch on the show. We have new t shirts and we have new campus tote bags and all reports are the tote bags are awesome. So if you want to get your ban animal, bron Animal, bun Animal Scottie. Yeah.
We have not announced whatever we do on the main On our main episode January twenty fifth, right in Los Angeles, California, since City, we are doing a live Bananas at the Bob Baker Marionette Theater.
City of Lights. That's right, For those who don't know, this is a very famous theater where they have thousands of old school, vintage handmade marionettes and then they have these puppeteers that are absolutely incredible at operating them. So we're gonna do a live show and we're gonna probably have a great guest or too, I don't know. And we're gonna incorporate our strange news stories and our personal stories with these wonderful artists who are going to use
marionettes that either. You know, if we tell a story about an alligator coming out of a toilet, we're gonna have an alligator marionette puppet slithering across the stage as we do it. It's gonna be fantastic.
It's really gonna be cool. And this theater, if you've never been, they usually only do like children's performances. They did, and now they're opening it up for you know, after dark, and it is. It looks like a beautiful turn of the century circus theater. Everything is like red velvet. It is gorgeous. The performers, you know, they wear head to toe red as well, so they blend in with the back round while they're doing the marionetting.
It is.
It's it's a real it's a truly amazing experience. This is gonna be crazy. This is gonna be the coolest show we've ever done.
Easily, and so we welcome everybody. It will probably sell it really quick because it's a smaller theater. So if you're interested in You're in Southern California January twenty fifth as the Banana Boys and a bunch of Marionettes just having a delightfully nice evening in Eagle Rock, California.
Then tickets should be up on our Instagram right right now.
That sounds so fun. Okay, So Paris Calvakas sent this in Thank you, Paris, A bag of Cheetos created a huge impact on a national park.
Oh yeah, I was, Oh yeah.
Yeah, great ap news written by the best in the friggin biz, Susan Best Montoya in the Brian biz, Susan Montoya Brian. It's nice to left the Montoya and there. Normally I don't like when people leave their middle name in. It seems like they're trying to be an important author. But Susan Brian, you've met a million Susan Bryan's Susan Montoya Brian.
That's it. More specific, Yeah.
She's got a secret Albuquerque, New Mexico. A bag of Cheetos got dropped and left on the floor. That seems inconsequential, right, hardly Rangers. I mean, I like that Susan's just having a conversation with herself at this point. That's the Montoya coming out. Rangers at Carlsbad Caverns National Park in southern New Mexico described it as world changing for the tiny microbes and insects that call this specialized subterranean environment their home.
The bag could have been there a day or two, or maybe just hours, but those salty morsels of processed corn made soft by thick humidity triggered the growth of mold on the cavern floor and on nearby cave formations. To the ecosystem of the cave had a huge impact. The park noted on social media, explaining that cave crickets, might spiders, flies all organized to eat and disperse the foreign mess, essentially spreading the contamination. Wow. One bag of cheetahs.
One bag.
The bright orange bag was spotted off trail by a ranger during one of the regular sweeps of the park that staff make through the Big Room. The Big Room is the largest single cave chamber by volume in North America, and they do a sweep at the end of each day. They are looking for straggling visitors or any litter or other waste that might have been left behind on the paved trail. The Big Room is a popular spot. Have you been the Carlsbeck caverns?
I have not.
I have not. This is a road trip. We have to do it. This seems how far away, is it? I mean, New Mexico's not that far. Yeah, right, seven or eight hours maybe. I mean we've never done a show in Santa Fe or Albuquerque too. We got to go out there.
And Arizona as well. We need to do a Phoenix show.
Yeah, we need to do a Phoenix show where we fly in and fly out the same day. That seems so fun. Like's fly in, do the show, have dinner, have a couple of drinks with fans, and then fly out of there and be like back in home Jay Leno Bob Seger style. The Big Room is a popular spot a Carl's Bad caverns. It's a magical expanse filled with towering stalagmites and dainty stalactites and a cluster and
clusters of cave popcorn. According to the National Park Service, more than three hundred million people visit the national parks each year. It is America's greatest accomplishment. Our National park system is the greatest thing America.
Every day I agree.
It's the only thing that we can be proud of anymore. Jazz jazz and the National Park Service.
As based National Park Service.
Yeah, that's all we've ever given to the world.
That is it.
Yeah, and back to the Future. That's a pretty good movie. More than three hundred million visit our national park system each year, bringing in and generating seventy million tons of trash, disgusting animals.
They bring in seventy million tons of trash every year, of.
Course to do I mean, of course. I took my parents to the Grand Canyon when the government was shut down whenever. That was god six years ago, and the trash cans were overflowing because there was no federal funding so and there was also nobody working the gates. We just drove in and parked and then walked through the Grand Canyon. It was wild. And then I saw a guy taking a video of a tarantula on the walking path and it just paused and turned and he backed
off so quickly. It was it was awesome to see a transler just make a grown man jump back.
They will man, Because I ran into a Transla on the on the path in La and it was just like it was so many things went through my head, like can they jump? Can they jump? I don't know? And apparently they can't, like up to six feet seems cool.
To me for it. So for the rest of the scarted snackbags and other debris, it often takes work to round up the wasst. Organizations like Leave No Trace have been pushing their message of trail heads online. That seems like an organization we should do something with. Do do so. As for the spilled cheetos, Ward told the Associated Press that it could have been avoided because the park doesn't allowed food beyond the confines of the historic underground lunch room.
So like this, whoever's a historic underground lunch room.
We gotta go to Carlsbeck caverns On. Come on, you know you've mentioned before wanting to quit the biz and become a ranger. Let me tell you what the rangers kit. So they do a sweep, they leave no trays, blah blah blah. Rangers have sweet packs and spill kits for the more delicate and sometimes nasty work that can include cleaning up human waste along the trail monsters. The rangers kit can include wlack gloves.
Inside the the caverns.
People just taking dumps on the side.
Caverns inside a cavern. Just in national parks in general.
I think national parks in general. Oh okay. The ranger's kit includes gloves, trash bags, water bleach mixtures for decontamination, vacuums, even bamboo, toothbrushes and tweezers for those hard to reach spots. After the bag was discovered in July, cave specialists at the parks settled on the best way to clean it up. Most of the mess was just scooped up and with a toothbrush. It was. A toothbrush was used to remove rings of mold and fungi that spread to nearby cave formations. It.
This is the funniest detail. It was a twenty minute job. That's how this article ends. It was a twenty minute job. If it's a twenty minute job, I don't know if we article I thought took.
One year to clean this because of it. You know, it's like as a twenty minute job with a toothbrush.
You couldn't clean car in twenty minutes with a toothbrush. You clean like one good shoe. One of Shaquille O'Neill's shoes with in twenty minutes with a toothbrush. But yeah, man, isn't that crazy? That is crazy. I don't take God, And if you drop it, just tell somebody. Just if you make a mistake, You're not gonna get arrested today.
I think I've talked about it on the podcast. But when we were driving cross country Lauren and I to move to Los Angeles, we stopped at a cave in Utah and the and when I moved to la I felt like hiking up a mountain is a very specific physical act and you and we lived in New York City, so we walked miles a day all the time, probably five or to ten miles a day, right, but it was all flat and walking uphill is a big difference.
We got out of this car and the entrance to the cave was like on the side of a mountain. So we walked up a switchback. The switchback was paved, granted, but we're and we're huffing and puffing. You know, we're in fine shape. There are children like five years old running past us up this hill. We get there and I was just like, this is like another breed of child. Uh, And we get up there and we go into this cave and there was a I now understand it completely,
but at the time it drove me crazy. But there was a child whose name was Kale, and Kal screamed in the cave from the moment we walked in to the moment we walked out. For one full hour, in every room he would scream to hear his voice echo, and the entire time was just his mom going, Kale, Kale, don't touch that, Kale, don't touch that. And it was and now it's me with Gus and Olive. It's now me, No, Olive, don't touch that, don't come here, Olive, Olive, get off that,
Get off that. You know, Yeah, but that's okay, that's it's it's what you become.
You became, I'm more empathetic you.
I'm more empathetic now. Yeah, Cale, probably a fine kid.
You know, before you and all my other friends had children, when kids would scream on a plane, I and cry, especially for overnights. And I still am like, just flight during the day. I know, you just fly during the day, just spare the adults. But now I am nicer about it too, because all my friends have kids, and I've met all my friends kids, and I'm like, they don't. Nobody's happy about this. They're not happy there kids. Nobody's happy that this child is screaming and crying the entire flight.
When I see a child, this is something I cannot abide. When I see a child in first class, a child that has its own seat in first class, I'm like, what, no, what the what is wrong with you?
Dare you right?
Parents? A, You're spoiling travel for that child for the rest of their life. Yeah, And B everyone who's paid so much money to sit in first class to have like a nice experience now has a child there.
It's crazy. Yeah, it is. You've given your child nowhere to grow. You've said your child, you need no ambition. You've already reached the top of the mountain, so just float and complain for the rest of your life. Have you ever been to Arawan?
I have?
It is Have you ever bought anything there?
I have?
Yes, I have. See I've been twice because they opened one silver Lake when I was living in Acro Park and everyone's like, have you been? And I was like, no, I have not been. And then they had a jar of pasta sauce or spaghetti sauce and it was a small jar. I would say it was twelve ounces, and it was like twenty nine dollars or something. And I'm like, okay,
I got it. But I was recently having drinks with a laid off producer friend of mine and she's like, I really got to get work good, I gotta get work. I got it, Like, you know, it's really tough out there. Nobody's hiring. I'll work in development, I'll do anything. And then I made a joke about Sabrina Carpenter has or had a smoothie airwon that was twenty three dollars or twenty six dollars one smoothie. Yes, I know, the Haley
Bieber One's very popular. That one's still on the menu, and I think it's still one of the best sellers. That's also over twenty dollars. Yeah, And she's like, oh, I know, I drink one every day. I was like no. I was like, then, I can't help you. You are a child sitting in first class. If you're complaining about being unemployed and you're drinking a almost thirty dollars smoothie, I can't help you. We're not the same species. We're
not the same. You are a bag of Cheetos on the cave of life, because there's there's just simply no way. No have you been. There's a place called Superba. It's a really great restaurant in LA and it's like, oh they have this chicken there that Oh yeah, we took Lisa Maggot there for lunch. They have one of the it's the most delicious chicken you can ever get in a restaurant. It's crazy good. And I was like, maybe I'll just do that for Thanksgiving.
Yeah, get that chicken.
Yeah, so rotisseri sized chicken their version. How much do you think that one chicken is one rotistic chicken from Superba? I mean for Thanksgiving? I should say here's what.
I'm going to say. I think it should be. I'm not even gonna go crazy.
Don't even entertain the notion.
Yeah, so it's a fancy restaurant.
It's a fancy restaurant.
Wrote one chicken, one rotisserie chicken. And if you're taking grocery store rotisserie chicken delicious, I'm clocking in maybe eight to ten dollars, right, So I'm going to say, let's triple it. Let's say thirty.
Dollars, two hundred dollars, two hundred dollars.
Are you talking it had to come with sides?
Zero sides?
No, that's impossible.
What is it?
Gold wrapped?
It's gold wrapped, platinum up the wazoo. I mean, if you google Superba Whole Chicken Thanksgiving, it is two hundred dollars. I was like, you know how many chickens I could raise for two? No, because the sides are side of mashed potatoes is like thirty eight dollars. And I was like, there's simply no way that I always do this because I think chicken tastes better than turkey, so I usually I agree everybody agrees everybody, if everybody's if anybody's out
there just craving turkey, I can't even imagine that. God, I can't wait to get into that turkey. Yeah, you're looking it up. I'm not kidding, and it like, oh my god, staggered, Oh.
My god, yeah, my god, it's thirteen Oh my god, it's one hundred and ninety five dollars for a thirteen to fifteen pound turky. Oh that's the turkey.
Yeah, the chicken isn't even that is preposterous.
One hundred dollars. Also, it's gonna get to your house not hot. No, you're paying two hundred dollars for a lukewarm to cold bird.
It's crazy. When I saw that, I kept reading it because I'm like, oh, this must be like if you host your family at the restaurant like that, you can feed the whole family for two hundred dollars. I'm like, that's a pretty good bargain.
No, that is legitimately the restaurant being like, we don't want to work on Thanksgiving. Yes, here if you need it, here's the r price.
I mean people are paying it is it that the most preposterous also, so of course I ran the numbers because this is what we do. We're an educational podcast. Yes, yes, so a chick like to buy a baby chicken is three to five dollars per chick. So that means for the cost of one chicken at Superba, you can get forty pet chickens. I could be raising I'll say thirty.
Great questions, Scott, Yeah, what the like? How old is a chicken when it's made? And made?
No one knows, No one knows.
Let's say let's say it's a two year old chicken. Let's say that. I have no idea if that's right, Sure, how much grain does a chicken eat over the course of two years. It might actually be two hundred dollars worth of bread. This might actually be the real cost.
KFC would be a business if a bucket of chicken would be like six thousand dollars. But we'll never know. Nobody knows these answers, and we'll never know these answers. Nobody, We just will never know this.
This is the true cost of this chicken's life.
No, I think a chicken is like a year old, and then yeah, it's but yeah, I was it's very rare that I'm like flabbergasted or gobsmack. And I saw that price and I was like, there's just no way, There's no way. So if I got if I had four people over with that and got four Airwon shakes, we're talking three hundred dollars with no sides, just me, three Sabrina carpenters, and a two hundred dollars retisserie chicken. That's a holiday.
Here's a here's ones for you, buddy.
Yeah, uh, I'll tease.
This into a into a thump some thumbs.
Ups something hackers.
Hackers demand France's Schneider Electric pay a one hundred and twenty thousand dollars ransom in baguettes. Ooh, hackers are out here just doing fucking crazy shit.
My kind of hackers. Tricia McKenna is double thumbing herself up for opening her ancestry DNA results and meeting her biological father for the first time.
Congratulations, He's not a.
Trash dad, and I'm looking forward to building a relationship with him. So I followed up with her because I've been thinking about this one. I was like, let us know how it goes. And then I hear from her and she met him in September. They met a second time in October. They're texting. It's all going great, and I think the next time they're gonna meet, it's gonna be with her husband. So congratulations to Chrisia and her dad. And if there's kindness in there and there's curiosity, we
wish you to the master building relationship. That's very nice. Musician Jesse Haynes wants to thumb up her super supportive Barroom Girls, which I guess is the name of the band I'm guessing Aaron and Trina they're getting thumbed way up because they covered all of Jesse's gigs and showered her with encouragement when she was diagnosed with soriatic arthritis and couldn't play for a month. And Jesse wants to say to you and me, curty b, thanks for promoting a live and let live lifestyle.
Oh thumbs up to hear about that time.
Yeah, but it sounds like she can play against Oh. Maybe there's a good Maybe she's figured out a way to live with it. Sarah A. Bukawitz, I think that's right. Sorry Sarah if I butchered your last name. Sarah Sarah Abukawitz or a witch is thumbing herself up. She has terrible PSD while driving or even being in a car after she was in a car accident where she lost a pinky and then Sarah, gonna have to forgive me your DM was a little I think there's an autocrack
and possibly a hand. She I think she lost at least a pinky, but maybe also a hand. After working in the restaurant is for over twenty years after COVID, she decided to switch careers and started Kurt driving for FedEx.
Nice.
She said she was scared shitless but went for it. Anyways. It's been over two years and her PTSD is much much better.
Awesome thumbs up. Thumbs up to Sarah.
Oh Buka Witch for taking a chance and sounds like having a great career change.
Yeah.
Nice work, facing your fears. Not easy to do.
Uh.
And last but not LEAs will do. We'll do a happy one. Here's a good one. Will Oh. Will Oh is thumbing himself up and banana boy number two me for being dancing fools at weddings. Will went to a wedding where he didn't know anyone, and he got through the ceremony and cocktail hour without really talking to anybody. But when it came time to boogie down, he stole the show. He says. I had a line of people
telling me I stole the dance floor. And I kept thinking about Scottie stories about dancing at all weddings even when people don't know him and pretending they aren't watching, And damn it, it worked. I'm gonna do this forever. And I got to meet a bunch of people who I otherwise would never have met. I even made friends with an old lady who ran the event center and gave me a tour and said my dancing made her night.
Oh that's awesome.
Thumbs up, Will and to anybody who's not afraid to look like a jackass on the dance floor. If you go with he went with his wife. I believe if you go with a date, boy, you have no excuse but to get out there and be a buffoon. If you're trying to meet people, I understand you're trying to look cool. Yeah, but if you're going with friends or you're going with a date, get out there.
Also, going and dancing is a great way to meet people. It is, and people there are certain people who could be judgyn't want to be friends with those people.
That's right.
The right people are going to appreciate the vulnerability and the hootspa to get out there and the confidence. Really, that is what people want, you know, that is what people want in a romantic partners. They want confidence.
I think so too. I mean, God, it to me, it's like it's permission to move around and have fun. And what I mean, what else are we doing it?
I mean, that's the.
Reason we're on earth, move around and have fun.
I definitely think I had a moment. I had a moment where I stopped dancing.
I do.
I do feel that that happened because I used to go dancing a lot, like in my twenties.
It was fine.
We would go dancing. We would go to warehouse parties in Brooklyn and and it was just back when it was just like this is an abandoned warehouse and we would dance all night long, and we would do it often. And then at a certain point I think I like someone made fun of me, or I saw like a video of myself or something like that, and I was like, oh, because I'm so big, I'm a very tall, big guy.
There's no there's when you look out on a dance floor, you see me first, no matter what I'm doing, And so you just really do have to just go, you know, And I'm just gonna get out there more often.
You should. Yeah, nobody cares, man. I mean, like you said, it's like the people who judge you and stand on the sides and they're like, who is that? What are they doing? Oh my god, they look so dumb. That person's life is hell, it's miserable. Yes, they are terrified of.
Terrified any tings.
Yes, yeah, they and you don't have to be good. Also, you dance in the air, you don't dance on the ground. I think people are feel like you're you don't know what to do with your feet and stuff. It's like, it's okay, you're dancing in the air. Your feet are just gonna make sure you don't fall over. It's also, there hasn't been a single time who I've started dancing in a wedding and it's an empty dance floor that someone isn't like, thank god and joins me right away.
One time, like I said, and Covington, Kentucky, it was a boy with down syndrome. He and I dancing in front of a gigantic band in front of one hundred and fifty people that I had no idea except my date who they were. And then one song later all these women joined and then pretty soon everybody was dancing.
It's just sort of like poking a hole in the dam and the water's starts coming out and suddenly the whole thing and then everybody's like thanks, yeah, thank you, And then you go to the bar and then you say what's up. That's so fun and say.
And that is the same thing I think with a comedy show too. If you're in the audience of a comedy show, there is in the beginning of a comedy show, people are nervous to laugh, people are nervous to make a noise in that space. Yeah, and then if you can be a person who laughs, then everybody starts getting up. And then like midway through the show, you'll just notice everybody's laughing and everyone is forgotten about their own self consciousness, which is I think the reason you go to see
a comedy show. You want to forget, like to constantly be thinking about yourself.
Yeah, And that's why the darkest comedy rooms are the best comedy rooms. Like when those house lights are black, it's like everybody's like, yes, I can hide and laugh as loud as I want.
And that is why I don't do crowd work. That is why I don't talk to the audience.
You know, I appreciate that.
I like I when I go to a show. I like the fact that I am in a blanket of dark anonymity. I like blending into the crowd and just being a person, you know, a identity less mass. I like that you don't have to do anything to turn it around and to make the audience perform. Is like, it's one of the worst. It's not one of the worst. I was about to say.
It's one of the words right now. I was about to.
Say it was one of the worst things social media has done, and that is not true. There's ten thousand worst things social media has done. But it is an unfortunate result of social media.
It is I know all the clips of people just doing crowdworth, it's like it's all the same. It's all and if you see one comic twice, they sort of have the same can jokes, like there's stuff yeah. And I have a one friend who I won't name, who's so good at it. Then he's like a touring club comic. He's so good at that. I enjoy when he does it. But it's because he's not a mean spirited guy. He
doesn't just immediately start insulting people. Right. But if you come to the Banana live shows, we never ever call in the audience. We cheer you on. When you're getting up to leave, we're like, we understand, all right, all right, I'll send us home. Oh good choice.
Oh well, hackers demand Francis Schneider twenty five ransom.
This was in UH to send us home?
Yeah, this was in Tom's Hardware dot com.
What happened?
Where am I going to get these news stories?
Also? Did we say happy birthday to Mauricio? I think we did right before he came out to hot tub.
I said it in at hot tub. But you know what, Happy birthday to cop copy paste.
He brought us. I ate a cupcake, I bought him a shot. It was great to see him.
This was written by Mark Tyson. Great name, great name for Tom's Hardware dot Com. In the business, hackers demand French's Francis Schneider Electric pay one hundred twenty five k ransom in baguettes. Hungry hackers have demanded the France It's to Schneideralactic pai one hundred twenty five thousand dollars ransom
in bag gets. Bleeping Computers report. Bleeping Computers report indicates that a hacker group may have stolen forty gigs of data from the major French energy management and automation engineering group after successfully penetrating the firm's Jira system. Greppi is thought to have or had connections with the Hellcat ransomware gang.
I love it.
I love all the names.
Yep, they don't care, just say words domes hardware.
The above tweet taunted Schneider about the purported success of a recent cyber attack, and a follow up post and thread reveals an example chunk of data. However, fuller details about the purported nature and scale the data hall, as well as the Boulangerie product demands, were published on the dark web. If the ransom demands aren't fulfilled, the thread is that sensitive data, including information about company, project staff
and user data, will be spilled. According to the hackers, the stolen info includes.
Blah blah blah, blah, blah blah blah.
However, the hackers indicated that should Schneider publicly admit to the latest data breach, the ransom would be cut in half. Thus the ransom demanded would have decrease to sixty two thousand and five hundred dollars worth of bagettes. We would presume, I mean, they're just doing it for no reason. No one can eat that many baggettes before they go bad. That's the craziest part.
I love it.
I know it is as oft the time of writing. Thank you, Mark, Tyson. It is difficult to know exactly where Schneider has whether such Schneider has satisfied the ransom admission clause. Bleeping computers, blah blah blah. That's Mark Tyson. Give us one headline to send us home. So we have covered four stories today.
Okay, let me see. Oh, this is a good headline. This is a fun one. Bride'smaid finds out that bride had a last minute change of groom on her wedding morning.
Wait what bride'smaid finds out that the bride has a last minute change of groom.
On the wedding morning. To brides dot com by Sarah Schreiber, Fabian send it in. I mean, do we want to save it for the next one?
Save it for next one? Savor the next one. We got to start with this one. I want to know.
Okay, I'll save it for the next one. I think we have a guess coming on the end of the week. That'll be so fun. I will say, I love one baguette. One baguette is so much bread. Yes, it's fun to share with a friend or a few friends.
It is a race against time to finish a bagette because you buy it in the morning. By midnight that night, it's not great.
It's not as good.
It's not as good. You are racing to shovel. I don't know. Is it a yard of bread into your throat.
When I was on Tahiti, they love baguettes. You. It's because it's French Polynesia, those French bakeries and boulie and patiseries ever. And it's very, very common to see on all the little to Houshon Islands people riding bikes and scooters and mopeds with several baguettes in a paper bag, and I would get one. We would drive around and at night that while the crabs are crossing the road, we would rip chunks off and throw them to dogs, because they have like wild dogs all over the place.
And the dogs went, they couldn't be happier. They were getting chunks of bread. And it was like, as to your point, it's like we couldn't finish the whole thing. I'm not sitting there eating a whole bagette, and so we'd rip it in half and throw chunks to wild dogs who would be like, yes, yes, yes.
You mentioned some words there. And it reminded me of when I lived in Baltimore. I lived a roommate named Hank. Hank was in a punk band with this dude named Doug. Doug was a graduate student in English, I believe, but he was a He was a He was a petite man who who was very socially awkward but loved punk rock music. And and he would just come over every morning every Sunday morning amazing, like nine or ten am.
He would come into our He would just walk like waddle into our our backyard and then call up to Hank's window, it is time to go to the petits, Sally, Hank, we are going to the pettisse And then Hank would like grumble and like come down all hungover, and he'd be like, let's go and he and then and then Doug would be like, we are on our way to the Pettissali. And then they would just go to Safeway.
Oh that's even better. That's so Baltimore. It's so Baltimore.
They would go to they would go to Safeway and they would get like bread at the at the bakery and Safeway fantastic.
That is the petit, the Sunday morning pets.
That's the Baltimore potential.
North Baltimore Safeway. God, that's so good.
Yeah on Charles on Charles Street.
Yeah, be as silly as you can, bananamals. As the world gets weirder and worse, you just gotta get sillier and nicer. And that's all there is to it. Thanks Kurtie b.
Thank you, Scotty Buh. Bananas Sing.
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