Bananimals. We record Bananas episodes a week or two weeks in advance, so we recorded this week's episode before the election. If we seem pleasantly unfazed, we were.
And you know the goal of our podcast is, and you know always will be to promote silliness at all costs, and that is exactly what we're going to continue to do.
Everyone is welcome here, no matter who you love or how you look, You're safe with us, and we will try and make you laugh.
So thank you for listening to the silliest little podcast forever was. We look forward to recording literally every single episode and to celebrating the absurd as best friends.
That's right, So take care of your brains and take care of your hearts, take care of your people. We're not giving up, and neither should you.
And no matter how weird this world gets, we're keeping it bananas for you, for us, for anyone who needs it. All right, Scott, you ready.
Oh I'm ready to laugh and love and go. La Dodgers, congratulations on winning the World Series of Baseball a week or two ago.
And Love, I don't have this title. I'd want the I want there to be a reveal for this, okay, So I will just say and I did see one headline as this, So here's the headline, Scottie.
Okay, hooters.
And it'll make sense.
That's okay. Well, there's two big reasons to stick around and listen to this amazing episode of Bananas.
Your worlds. Would you mind? Resilient pieces?
Would you?
Guys, goals, non binary pals. Welcome to a very a very special episode of Bananas. A very special solo episode of Bananas. I'm staring at a man, yeah, who's known as the greatest screenwriter in America. He is standing in front of a floor to ceiling image of I don't think it's pipeline.
It's not. I think it's sunset beach.
Maybe, yeah, because the shape of the waves a little more almond than pipeline would be. But just a beautiful breaking wave, a huge barrel.
Scottie Landis KURTI b you. You're everybody's favorite, and you know when the rapture comes, you're going first, because they're going to need a stand up comedian to welcome people through those pearly gates, and it's gonna be you. And I also know, as a former Catholic schoolboy. You be great doing just riftogging with Saint Pete to your left and all the other fake religions to your right. Just everybody hanging out and you're welcoming them in with a good guffall because.
Once you get to heaven, yeah you can say fuck and shit and curse or scent because you're in heaven. You already made it. Like if the whole reason you're not cursing is so that you can go to heaven once you're there, I hope you are cutting a blue rug if that is.
Yeah, it is. I know. It would be so funny if it does exist. And if I somehow sneak in the side window, I'll be like, man, I was wrong. I was so wrong about this. I am going to do the panic thing with two seconds to go before they pull the plug. Oh yeah, I'm going to be like I believe and then just hope for the best.
I know. So it is you just do last rights right, and you know what, let's do last rights.
Fire them up, Padre. I want to get in there just in case this whole forgiveness thing is real. But yeah, how was a trick or treating? Was it so fun? Did you guys get a lot of candy. Also, what is your kids? What is what are your kid's favorite? Two candies?
The kids are well, uh, alf doesn't really like chocolate and she doesn't like peanut butter, so she'll sometimes have chocolate, but she prefers, you know, the big The big ticket item this year was gummy cluster nerds.
Oh, I've heard that's nerd cluster.
Yeah. And but also and then Gus's favorite chalcol is probably like anything chocolate. He just loves it all pretty much. I don't think he has a favorite yet. We we try and get him to, we like, what's your favorite, and he just likes kind of like goes. I don't know. But I bought I bought the full sized candy bars at Costco good for you, two boxes twenty bucks nineteen ninety nine each. That's fine, forty bucks. Forty bucks is not. I feel a ton to spend on to make dreams
come true candy. And that was from five thirty to eight, and we still had some left and I put them out because then we had the kids were going to bed, so I closed the door so I would say successful and to be the house with the big candy.
Bars Yeah, that's what you want to be.
I also feel like it's getting more common it used to be. I mean it was a myth when I was a child, it was a myth. I remember saying like that that house has them. People would talk about it, and then you would go up and they wouldn't answer the doorbell.
Yeah, there was a person in our neighborhood and one year they handed out pennies and everybody, I think some of the other parents were like, you can't hand out pennies to these kids. And then from there on out they would hand out Gatorades. And when Gatorade switch from glass bottles to plastic bottles, I think at probably sixteen ounces, you would just go and get a full Gatorade or
a thirty two ounce Gatearaide. It was the big ones, and it was just so funny to see everybody's so dehydrated and so jacked up on sugar and then being like I am thirsty and they're just chugging thirty two ounces of sugar.
It is interesting, Like we brought a water bottle and the kids went to town on the water bottle like the whole night, because you're they're walking for them, they're walking an enormous amount. And then also like they're eating candy along the way, you know that, and can sugar makes you like thirsty, which I which I always forget about because I don't burn it.
It's like throwing logs on that little Chucchu train. There's so many shoveling sugar cold just in there as fast as they can. It's it's the greatest holiday, at least in America because just getting dressed up always fun, walking around with your friends, great time. And then kids like number one favorite thing is candy, and so it's like they're rewarding them for just doing two great things. It's a whoever came up with it? The modern version extremely fun.
There is a church down the street from my house, and it's a it's one of those southern California churches that are like, you know, I think they're probably pretty liberal, you know what I mean, But there's just still like we actually went once for Christmas, cause it's like we just don't have a Christmas tradition anymore. You know, we used to go to Catholic Mass, and it feels weird to go to Catholic Mass now, and so we're like, okay, well,
we'll go to this one. And we went there for for Christmas once.
And it was just weird.
It was weird. It was you know, it was like they took the kids away and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, where you taking my kids? I uh go Catholic here, Yeah, I don't like it when you take the kids to places I can't see. And they took them away for like an hour and a half. The whole thing was like two hours. It was bonkers town. And then the whole homily was about like essentially like that like Jesus is a man that you love, and it was like
that's it. It wasn't anything like helpful for your life. It was just like bow down before the Man of Jesus. And it just left a bad taste in my mouth. Anyway. Point is during Halloween they have this like a full frontal assault to like well to like get people in the door to come to go to church. There they had an entire Willy Wonka like setup where it was like a store and everything and so but it's always like a like they always have full sized candy bars.
They always have it's a big deal. And and so Olive is just talking it up to every child she meets, like, we gotta go to the church. And then by the end we're like, the kids are tired. I'm trying to get them back, and all the kids are like, we gotta go to church, and all of these godless la parents, We're just like, this is the first and last time my child is gonna be screaming, what we gotta go to church?
But take out churches have a giant, king sized candy bar for every kid that comes through your Hollywood doors, and uh, it's not just going to go through the roof.
But also like, that's what churches should be doing, right. I I do applaud them for that. I do not want to go to their place, but I do applaud them for that. That's great. Provide stuff for the community. That's wonderful. The kids loved it. I really enjoyed the fact that Gus was and this was his idea. He was just a all he wanted to be was a devil, and we'd be like, what kind he'd be?
Like a bad devil?
Nice, my guy, And so he was just dressed as a bad devil with a horrifying mask on in front of the church, like picking out a candy bar.
This is this is it? This is satan? That would be so great. Did you see the new Willy Wonka with old tim Shallomey?
Yes?
Was it good? I didn't see it. Uh it was okay.
Yeah, it's not bad. It's you know, it's it's like it starts very dark.
All kids movies now start with the darkest things that can happen to you, deaths.
Yeah, it's galore. But also like Willy Wonka was a little dark anyway, you know, total creep. Yeah, and so that makes sense to me. But yeah, at the end, by the end, I was like that it's a pretty good movie. I don't want to heard that.
But Timmy Shalls I just didn't seem that charismatic to me. And then I don't know if you're going to do this story today, But we got sent the story that there was a Timothy shallow May lookalike contest and then one went and now I'm like, maybe.
I like this, Maybe I like that guy. And also he didn't win. That's fantastic he got the second place.
Then maybe I do like that guy. I don't know.
I got well, So the fact that we opened with you standing in front or sitting in front of a giant wave. Where are you, Scotty.
I am at the north shore of Hawaii, So I was, uh, yeah, Straw, And now we're going to go to Asheville, North Carolina to hang out with Mamory Hart, who is staying down there because I tricked her. True. Well, you know this. We I hand out candy with Mamory. We have for about eight or nine years now, and then the last six years besides COVID year, we get a margarita machine where we hand out frozen margaritas to all the parents and candied all the kids. And it's a highlight of
my year. And then Mamory uh was there after the hurricane and the flooding and had to make a great escape, and so these plans got canceled and it was like, let's go let's not h I don't know if this would be lemonade, let's go make pina coladas.
Yeah.
So, I mean that's a gorgeous idea. I'm so happy you did that.
Yeah. Facts, And it's just a three nighter or yeah, three nights, four days or whatever. But this is where we shot a TV show that I worked on and so everything's nicer now. They fixed everything up. But it's just it's so relaxing as I eat bowls, pokey bowls, yeah, you name it. But yeah, just a quickie. And it was fun to celebrate, like I am a Dodgers fan and went to the lots of bars and watched my friends,
and it was fun to come out here. And as you can see, I'm wearing a Dodgers hat and everybody's here like go blue. And you realize the only people here in October are I live.
In l Yeah.
Yeah, all the families are waiting for Christmas and winter holidays and New Year's and so right now it's just a nice sleepy time. Tomorrow morning I might take a lay making class, learn how to make a lay.
I love that. That is fantastic, Thanks buddy.
So and you're going away right I am.
I'm going away on Thursday.
Where are you going?
Well, I will by the time this comes out, I will have already come back. But I am going to the Shenandoah Mountains, my friends. Oh that's pretty yeah, we get. There's these little primitive cabins off the Appalachian Trail and Shenandoa and Shenandoah.
To our West Virginia listeners. Yes, yes, and so.
Yeah, we're in we're in Virginia technically at this section, and so yeah, a little primitive cabin. Inside it's got six bunk beds and a small table. It's one room and it's got a wood burning stove. And then outside and this is the critical part that makes it's so so nice. It has an outside fireplace. And we've been to these cabins before with this specific friend group. This is the friend group from Crow. You know, this is
like the Crowbros. And and it's been much needed. Last time we went was eight years ago at this place, and I saw a ton of black bears when I was there. And it's just gorgeous because you have an outside fireplace and once you get the fire cooking in there, after like two three hours, that whole wall heats up and it just radiates heat and you are never cold. It's so so nice. It'll be like a crisp fifty degrees every day.
Is so nice. That's a beauty. I mean, that's basically where I'm from, and it's so beautiful in the woods around there in the mountains that are so you know, the only I've only had like two near death experiences, and one was at Seneca Rocks in West Virginia. Who I was on I was I think it was between my freshmen and sophomore year in college. A bunch of high school friends were like, we're getting a place. We're going skiing in Canane Valley and we went skiing, but
then it was hot. It was one of those times where we're skiing t shirts and night snow pants and you'd have your gloves on, your mits on, and that was kind of it. So my friends were like, well, do you want to take a hike? And we drove out to Seneca Rocks, which is a very beautiful hike,
and I'm talking to my friends. It's sort of single track path around the side of this mountain and there's a rock over this area and I stepped over and like stretched my leg out and went on and my friend behind me was like, dude, and I looked down and was straight down like I It was like an optical illusion where the rock I was stepping over went to almost nowhere. WHOA and I had to like it was crazy. I basically my left hand was on the rocks and I had to pull myself back and then like,
but that would have fallen. I don't know. I won't overestimate it, but I'll say two hundred feet maybe three hundred feet. Yeah, And it was the first. You know, I've been in a couple of car accidents at that point, so it was the first one that was My bad decision almost cost me the whole enchilada. But I pulled the enchilada back, and that's what it's all about.
Protecting enchilada back, folks. All right, I'm so excited to share this story, Scott. Are you ready for it?
I couldn't be more ready.
Oh my god. I have to give all the credit to the wonderful and delightful Hannah Walling for sending this in. Hannah, you are awesome. Thank you so much. This was okay. So I do believe that this article was first published in the London Times, because this is a story from nineteen ninety seven, and this is an article from nineteen
ninety seven. I've been looking and looking and looking for the actual original article, and as far as I can tell, this might be a reprint of it on the Independent, and it's labeled just David Ironovich column from Friday, the twenty fifth of July nineteen ninety seven, written by David Iranovich. The best in the biz really good. And when you read this see is the best in the biz. This is like you realize that the quality of writing in
general and journalism in specific has gone downhill. This is like excellent British writing in nineteen ninety seven.
Here it is y take me back, Okay.
Every evening for a year a computer programmer, Neil Simmons would go down to the end of his garden in stockin tigerhead Devin, I made that sound more German than it was and call to the owls, and the owls would call back. So intense and varied did these crepuscular exchanges become that mister Simmons, an owl reader by hobby, began to nurture hopes of finally discovering the hidden language of owls. Wooo, hooted mister Simmons. Wooooo, replied the owl.
As it happens. At exactly the same time, Fred corn, as a retired company director, was enjoying a very similar, though slightly more passive twilight conversation with the owl at the bottom of his garden. Woooooo when the owl mister Corns would respond. For any two men to be spending exactly the same evenings thus engaged may be considered mildly coincidental. What lifts this tale beyond the normal, however, is that
mister Korns is also a resident of tiny stuck in Tiganhead. Indeed, his garden in fact a butts onto that of mister Simmons, and the obvious explanation of their shared experience would surely be that they're one unaware of events next door, that one unaware of events next door had been communicating with the very same garrulous bird who had been so entertaining the Unfortunately, this one owl, two men explanation was exploded by a chance conversation between their wives, who met each
other in the driveway and began to chat. One recounted how her lovable but eccentric spouse liked to hoot in the garden before bed. The other reciprocated with tales of how her own old feller liked nothing better than a nice alfresco squawk before turning in. The two women looked at each other. The men were called and the case put to them, and each recorded an example of his owl speak. In the end, they were left inescapably but
embarrassingly with the two men no owl theory. This will have been particularly going for mister Simmons, who, as an expert, will have known that some of his calls were what shall we say, hoots of avian desire embarrassment. Aside, there are I think, and then Aaron goes into a bunch of different things.
It's so funny these grown men owling to each other is just so fun And I hope they're best friends now. I mean, it's I really do thirty years later and you're like, yeah, almost thirty years later and you're like, I just hope you guys are best friends. That and maybe when they're at the bar and one goes up to order beers for the other one, he gives a couple of hoots. The guy hoots right.
Be at for one year, going out every night and just hooting at each other is so so funny to me.
Life before the internet, life before smartphones, you just had to find entertainment on your own. Damn. That's so sweet. Though. They both were enthusiastic. Yeah, and I wonder have said anything.
Oh, that's an interesting idea.
That's just let wives have just known and just let them.
Well. The thing is is that one guy was an owl breeder, and so it was kind of like part of his thing. So he was recording all of the conversations. That's another thing. He recorded every hoot. He has like a journal for a year of just another man's hoots back at him in the night time.
I know, pre internet, pre smartphone. It was it awesome or was it sad? It's up for you to decide. My friend always made the joke because another when I was waiting tables. Around the time you and I left New York, they started to get phone access or Wi Fi underground in the subways. But when you and I lived there, yeah, no phones. It was like you lost all reception and it was peace and trying lightly. It was I read so many books on the f train,
It's unthinkable. And then when I got back, I was like, oh, this is crazy, and another person's like, I hate it. I hate that everybody's looking down on their phones and out of each other. My friend Jessica was said, yeah, but what was it before? Before when you read newspapers, you would open a full newspaper. It was like building a wall in front of your face. Yeah, she's so right. Yeah, looking down on your phone, you can kind of have I don't know, three hundred and fifty degrees a vision.
But when you open a newspaper like not today, rest of this train, and then just build a little house around your face. No, it is better.
I know that. I always there's a meme out there about like, oh, the world was so much better before phones. And then it's just a packed train with every man with a newspaper in front of his face.
Yeah, just vibing, just everybody's vibe being on a deeper emotional, spiritual level.
Don't worry, we'll be able to build that wall again soon. Once the VR headsets happen. Guys, there, it's gonna be a new chank. There's gonna be a new chink in the dystopia future that we have in they have in store for us, where everybody's just walking around with VR headsets.
I know the introverts will rejoice. They'll just have their own paradise. They'll just have their own living room on their headsets, so no matter where they are, they're just in their safe space, and God bless them, they need it. Them take care. That's a great I mean god, But okay, So if Lauren was going out every night and doing bird calls and then you later found out that somebody two streets over was responding, would you tell her? I guess you would, right.
I guess, So it's a I do agree with you that it is a question though.
Yeah, right, they loved it.
I think the It sounds like the wives like immediately called their husbands over. So it was like immediately, I think it was just like you fucking dumb son of a bitch.
If it was that that, I kind of like it.
Hey, idiots, get over your idiots.
It would also be great if the tale was that those two men hated each other for twenty years prior to this, like that, yes, never find common ground. One painted their door red, the other's mailbox was shaped like a manatee. They couldn't stand each other, and then slowly they fall in love from hooting at each other for over a year. There is that nicer way to think of it.
Yeah, it is an the way to think of it, but it is very common, I especially in nineteen ninety six, to just have a family. Wheers like, we don't get divorced and so instead we live with a person we revile every second we revile them.
Yeah, there's some of that. I mean, there's some of that. Okay, here's a fun one. Taylor Hunt sent this in. Thank you Taylor Hunt. If you want to send Bananas a story in and you've never listened to this podcast before, boy do we have news for you. You can send it to us from direct message on the Instagram application on your smartphone at the Bananas Podcast, or we have an email which is electronic mail, and you can send it to us on the worldwide web at the Bananas
Podcast at gmail dot com. Those are the best ways to get in touch. We also have website bananaspodcast dot com. And by the way, we have new merchandise. If you go to Bananas podcast dot com, all our links are there. We have a new canvas tote bag and we also have a new beautiful t.
Shirt designed by Kate Cosgrove.
Our favorite illustrator and a true blue bananimal. So check it out.
It's a beautiful bananamal design. It's really cool and very like like. It's just a sweet design. I'm really happy with this round of merch So as.
The holidays are here, get someone your life a tote bag. Everybody loves this canvas total Come kidding me, Come.
On, come on, We'll put a It'll be in our stories too. If you want to go to Instagram, you want to go to the Bananas podcast and Instagram, it'll be right in a highlight first story to say merch you can get it right there.
The great tailor Hunt sent this in. Thank you, Taylor. This is a big story, Kurt. This might change your whole perception of the universe. Oh okay, manchug's twenty four ounces of ranch dressing in ten seconds at Belding competition. Huh oh my ten seconds twenty four mis of ranch dressing.
It's not in the bottle. It can't be in the bottle. There's no way it's in the model. It's not on the bottle. Okay, great.
This was on Fox seventeen West, Michigan. That's a real website dot com written by When you're talking about chugging dressing, Yeah, there's only one woman you want on the scene and posting to your block.
Jillian Berenson.
Jillian Berenson was sick that day. She had the sniffles. She thought it could be cocos, so she stayed home. Olivia Yatuma.
Oh yes, I met Olivia Yatuma. Thank you. Best in the biz when it comes to jogabizt viscous.
Liquids, viscous high sodium, high calorie liquids in Western Michigan, you call one woman, and you call her right away. Olivia Yatuma. Belding, Michigan. The Harmful Rooster in Building hosted its first ever chugging competition, where you would win by chugging a twenty four ounce glass of their ranch dressing.
So twenty four ounces, so like one ounces like a table a pound. One ounce is a tablespoon though.
Around sure a shot glass, yeah yeah, so small shot glass, So that's.
Probably I'm just trying to figure out what ranch comes in clocks in a like.
Pint glass is sixteen ounces. Yeah, so it's one and a half pint glasses in ten seconds of ranch dressing.
It's also all of your calories for the day. It's probably like two thousand and four hundred right there.
It's pretty crazy. It only took ten seconds for competitor zach Orvis to chug all twenty four ounces of the ranch and take home the win. When asked how he consumes so much ramp so quickly, Orvis said, I've seen people pour that amount that amount on their salads, So what's the difference.
I mean, he's got a line, he's got a line for it.
He's so nonchalant about That's also not an answer. He could have said like, oh, I took a deep breath and I didn't eat this morning, or I ate lots of iceberg lettuce. I mean a little salad in my belly. But no. Also in western Michigan, if you're putting twenty four ounces of ranch on your salad, sign me up. Orviis did, however, have his fair share of competition. The Harmful Rooster cap the competition at twelve people.
It's called the Harmful Rooster. Yes, okay, fun.
Name, Yeah, fun name.
That's what you want anytime you want to go to something called the Harmful Black Yeah.
I know there are four people left on the waiting list. They'll get him in next year because we're reporting it. So it's going to be a big deal. One of the competitors actually next year, if you want to, if you get in on this will send you Banana's merchandise to compete as a team Bananamal and we hope you at least finish the twenty four ounces.
Or go to the violence Fueled Rooster and have a great time.
That's right, it's just down the street at the Serial Killer Chicken Shack. Have fun. One of them. One of the competitors was a ten year old named Jordan Petterley. All Petterley had to say was I'm a kid. I'm the youngest person here. Good luck.
Also, he should have said, I'm a kid. I'm the only one who should be doing this.
Yeah, I could actually digest this. I'll be hungry in two hours. One owner, Randy Roost, that's what it's called rus DN, I think, came prepared for the big day, making sure there were buckets by every competitor justin case, you know, you'd get it. Rust had his competitor's sign a waiver. How much more Midwest can you get than guzzling ranch dressing, Bruce said, Still, rus clearly underestimated orvis. I don't feel sick at all. It's just ranch dressing,
Orbis said moments after winning. Moments after winning, I don't feel sick at all. It's just.
Also, you know what, I I this might be weird, but I don't think of Michigan as the Midwest. For some reason, I think of Wisconsin as the Midwest. I think of Minnesota's the with Midwest. I think of Ohio as the Midwest. But for some reason, I simply do not take Michigan. I feel like Michigan has a different character than the rest of the Midwest. I feel like, I really do feel that.
I mean the geographically, I think there could not be more smack dab in the middle the Midwest. But I know what you're saying, there's something about Michigan.
Yeah, there's something about Michigan. Maybe it's because they're so far north. The mid means the mid it's got to be in the center, you know.
But there we need a new region up there. That's what we need. We have a new region. Just cut the Dakotas out there. The Dakota's are just the Dakotas they can They probably very naturally a beautiful place. Yeah, nobody. When you meet somebody from one of the Dakota's, it is like meeting somebody from the moon. It's so fascinating.
Because there's five there's five people who live there.
I know.
When I was at UMass, I used to go to all the Hasakasa meetings all like the I was just friends with the Black student Union. I would just go those meetings that sit there. They all thought I was fun. So they were like, we don't care. And there's this one kid that was like, yo, Scottie, I got into grad school. I'm going for free. I wasn't aware he's like North Dakota State. I was like, congratulations. He goes, yeah, they're just giving scholarships any brown kid, and I go, man,
good luck, but he did. He was like I wasn't even a good student. I had like a two point seven, but they just accepted me. And I'm like, this is one strategy, just zero diversity. And they're like, send us you're not white people, and they get a full ride for grad school. I hope that guy turned out alive. I don't feel sick at all. It's just ranch dressing
or visaid moments after winning the competition. The prize sought after all twelve competitions was a one hundred dollars a gift card and a free order of All you can Eat wings every week until the spring of twenty twenty five, pretty good. Oh, not bad, that's pretty good.
Wow. It also as if heat this guy needs any.
Orvis orvis Or.
I'm worried about Orvis' health, is what I'm saying, Zach Orvis.
They might live to regret that weekly all you can Eat wings zach Orbs rolls through.
That's tough. That's tough because it's it's a tempting offer. It is a tempting offer to just know Thursdays are covered. I know you could go in start earlier and earlier two pm. It's it's all you can eat until clothes.
But Randy Roost, the Randy rust, the owner of the harmful Rooster, this guy gets it. If you're first of all, it took ten seconds. It's it is a disgusting amount of ranch dressing. But that doesn't warrant one thousand dollars.
No, No, this is the.
Correct gift card. And until spring, not even a date. Could be till the spring, could be April, could be.
May, and also not a full year. Because he's he's kind of figured it out. He's like, how much does this guy eat?
So we're talking max sixteen weeks of All you can Eat Wings max and one hundred bucks. Maybe maybe that can't show up one week, so he loses that. This is a perfectly what's the word. I'm trying to say, it's the perfect pairing. It's just great. Randy Ruster runs a tight ship. And it's safe to say that these competitors were ready to take on the ranch Orvis just
slammed it better than the rest. That's good writing. Rus tells me that he is hopeful that this year will be the first of many for this ranch chugging competition again Western Michigan Ban Animals. If you get on that list next year, we will send you a shirt and a hat, and we will cheer you on, we'll shout you out. We want somebody to win the ranch chugging competition. You know what, harmful rooster.
I just realized that it. This is a competition where if you're not first, and if you don't win, you lose so hard because you've just chugged's say.
Twenty four hours a ranch.
But slightly slower than another person. You still chug twenty four hours. You still did it. You still drag that much ranch.
Yeah, it's in there, it's it's in there, and it's only coming out. One of two ways. So good luck and good luck to the the partners of these people who had to sleep next to the person just sweating out a pound and a half of ranch for probably forty eight hours. It's yeah, yeah, but I do love the spirit and I love papping it at twelve people, and I do love the exactly correct prize for this competition, and I hope next year Bananama wins it.
Mm hmm, go for it, pen Animals. I'm gonna tease us into some shout outs here, Scottie, Oh.
Yeah, I got some.
Japanese is woman subdues convenience store thief with headlock credits anime for technique.
Oh that's a good one. We love when justice gets served. Thumbs up. Amy May wants to two thumb up her brother Sam with two thumbs his Baltimore based band seven Teller It hosted and I think Sam created a free music and arts festival to support the Baltimore Office of Promotion of the Arts. Awesome promotion and the arts. As two guys who we had help but not a huge team planning bananas Fest, we know that Tellerfest must have
been very hard. It was in September. I'm so Sorry, these are backlog thumbs ups, but congratulations to Sam and go rock out to seven Teller at Tellerfest next year.
Oh hell yeah, thumbs up.
It's hard work. Aubrey Simms also wants to thumb her baby brother Marshall up. Marshall's only twenty two, but he already be stage two cancer. He recently got a clean seat scan, right, and Aubrey wants to encourage all testicle having been animals to go get them checked out testicular cancer. It gets the young guys so nice.
It is earlier and earlier. Just go get tested everybody, all the time.
Jesus, this is where Ken I know. Aubrey also, on a later note, wants to thumb up her husband Avery for passing his real estate exam, which is great. But also he is the lead singer of a metal band called Tides of Autumn.
Oh hell yeah, that's a great name.
So congratulations and thumbs up to Avery Sims And also, let's get Tides of Autumn on Telorfest next year.
Guys, let's get Tides of Autumn on Tellorfest.
Please, Sam Sam of seven Teller reach out to Tides of Autumn and get them at Telorfest next year. Oh we have a heart. This is a sad one. Three wants the thumb up her dog Marley, who passed away recently, one of the goodest boys ever sixteen years and three months.
Oh hell yeah, thumb Marley gave.
Mel the look like it was time to go and then passed, uh thumbs up to all the dogs out there were big dog boys. Yeah, we're human dog boys, the banana boys. And enjoy that big old tennis ball in the sky Marley. Yeah. And last, but not least, Ashley Aaron viznor Or Visinor is thumbing herself up because she kept one foster kitten alive twice. The first time she saved it from the streets where he was surrounded by ravens who were about to eat him. So she
named this kitten, which she kept. She's keeping this cat.
Uh huh.
The undying Declan Thattius raven Meal. The third.
Oh that is such well, come on, so you call him Decky? Who would he call him for short? I wonder?
Well, yes, Ashley, let us know what you call the undying Declan Thattius raven Meal the third actually, good for.
You, Declan Thattius is the middle part.
Yeah, the undying decland Thattius Ravenmeal the third Declan Thattius. It's like, how good is that?
That's a great name and it doesn't sound jokey, do you know what I mean?
Even though jokey, it's perfect it is.
Yeah, yeah, no, like, but it's not names that I hear a lot in jokey names. Do you know what I mean?
Of course? Oh, exactly, it's always mixed something. It's a mixed stupid Yeah, this is I would call him d t R. Declan Thadius Ravens Meal. I'd call him Deeter Deeter.
Oh, that's pretty good.
Undying Declan Theadius Raven Meal the third or I guess it's the third. You can always call him Trip if you are in georgey'd calm Trip. Ashley Foster's for a small private rescue in the high deserts so southern California. So if you want a foster animals, which is a wonderful thing to do, you can go to to rescue dot org. That's t o rescue dot org for more information and rescue these pets. Thumbs up to you, Ashley for fostering this and also naming him a fantastic name.
Thumbs up, thumbs ups, and of course I'm here with Scotty Lands.
Yeah, buddy, let's go prow were the Banana Boys. You've heard us, you like us sometimes, and yeah, you can always give us a five star review on Apple or Spotify and double check that you weren't unfollowed last time you up on your iPhone? What is it called? Uh updated? If you updated, it.
Destroyed the podcast industry. When THEE did that.
It unfollowed us a lot, and so many of you have been like, oh my god, it actually did. But we'll take every five star you can get. If we get to eight thousand. Let me tell you we're in a whole different stratus field podcast that we can keep on keeping on. Here.
It is Japanese Woman's Subduced Convenience Store Thief. This was in Oh, Japan Today, written by Casey Basil Oh.
Very herbaceous writing. We love her.
Actually it might be Casey Bazil. I don't know. This was an October fourth. Someone sent this in an big I really apologized, guys, that's okay. It was a long time ago. I mean it was October fourth, and I've been saving it and moving it and trying to keep doing it, and I keep not doing it, but now I'm doing it here. It is like countless other people.
In Japan, twenty three year old Karen Rio walked into a convenience store to do some shopping on the night of September sixteenth, but while it's unclear for Yo ever obtained what she'd got in the store in search of while she was there, she decided to dispense some justice. The incident occurred shortly before eight pm in the shitty neighborhood that is its Shi Tte. I don't know how shity shitty, It sounds like shitty neighborhood of the city
of Yokohama's Surrumi ward, slightly south of Tokyo. While Rio was at the store, a man attempted to shop lift a six pack of beer, and when he attempted to flee, a clerk confronted him, two becoming entangled near the store's exit. Noticing the altercation, Rio stepped in and, after ensnaring the man's legs, brought him to the ground and put him in a headlock. Uh The man attempted to break free by biting Rio on her left forearm. With enough force.
The two weeks later, there are still visible teethmarks on her skin. Rio's grippelled fast, though, and she kept the man subdued until the police were summoned and arrived on the scene, where he was placed under arrest. As an office worker who works in Serumi, Rio's daily job does not involve subduing criminals, so following the incident, some wondered if maybe she has experience in martial arts training. But that's not part of her background either. I've never done
martial arts. I took tea ceremony lessons, she says, instead crediting a love of anime for her headlock technique. I like anime, so I just sort of imitated what I've seen in it.
I love it.
At the time time, I wasn't scared. It felt like my body was just moving on its own, Rio recalls, adding that it wasn't until after the incident that she stopped to think about the possibility that the man could
have had a knife or been otherwise armed. It's lightly for that reason that, even as a representative for the to Surrey Police Precinct praised her courage, he advised others who might witness crime to prioritarize, to prioritize, to avoid putting themselves at undue risk and contact the Police's.
That's right, don't don't do it.
If you don't, I mean, but how many times it's like.
A gunless society. It's so different over there, it's so different.
But how many times have you seen in your mind the thing you were gonna do and then gone and did something radically different?
I mean every single time. When you know, we at Sacred Heart in Glendon, Maryland, when we had like monthly churches or whatever we had to go to mass, I would just sit there and think about if terrorists broke into this, how would I hide? Where would I hide here? Like instantly go under the pew and crawl over here, and then like go behind the baptismal phone. Then I'd climb up the back of the giant organ pipes and get up it, and like I would have a whole
battle plan. What was I going to do? I was like ten years old, Yeah, but I'd seen the movie Toy Soldiers, which is an underrated nineties hit, and yeah, in my head, I had a whole escape route that I was going to call nine one one then go back in and start rescuing people. Like what am I talking? Asked? I would have stood up too fast and gotten nosebleed, farted and passed out. Like that's at best.
You do all. I at least always wonder about those situations, like do you do? Do I instinctually just do the thing that needs to be done? And I hope I do, But honestly, you just don't know until you're in that situation, right, I know, I mean you maybe maybe maybe it works to prime yourself to like dood do the good right thing, you know, to go in and do help the person instead of run away.
Yeah, definitely have that in mind. But yes, it's but what are you really going to do? It's over there. Also, let's be real, like if somebody's smaller than me, my confidence goes way up. If somebody's my slides are bigger, boy, do I wimp out in a real hurry? But everybody will just run? I mean, I'm a runner, let's face it. It's interesting. I had a college professor and I can't
even remember the class. It was a communication class, I know that, but he was like, raise your hands if you know what the inside of an emergency room looks like and he's like, keep them up if you've ever been in an emergency room, and like ninety five percent of the college kids went down, and there's like, raise your hand if you know what the inside of a courtroom looks like, and leave your hands up if you've ever inside of court room, and like two hands state up,
and he kept doing it. It's like if you and then he was like, if you think you know how to load and fire a gun, raise your hand. And he was like everything you think you know is because TV taught you what this looks like and how it is or movies. And it blew my mind at eighteen because I was like, yeah, everything I think I understand about, Yeah,
what the inside of the White House looks like? What I hadn't been on an international flight, like even getting food on an airplane, I've never seen that, but I'd seen on so many movies. It is crazy how much knowledge we all have because of TV and movies that you would never admit, Oh, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
Oh yeah, and also intimate knowledge, intimate knowledge.
Of what it looks like.
Right, it would be really funny if the like there wasn't actually an oval office, like not a real one, you know what I mean. It would be so funny if if the President's office was just kind of another roub. He's like, well, this is where I spend all my time.
Yeah. I think sometimes when I go to zoos now, like San Diego Zoo or whatever, and I see an animal and I realize I've seen it on Planet or Earth or Blue Planet or all the things I've watched for the last forty years, It's like sometimes I'm like, oh, yeah, I know exactly what this is, but it's the first time you see the real McCoy, and that is it's
just weird our understanding. I've never been to Africa. I've never been any countries in Africa, and I feel like I could really tell you about so far As in Kenya and what South Africa looks like from paragliding, and just walk you through Egypt. I could just give you a perfect tour of Egypt. And I've never been and we're close to Africa. I know what the lemurs are doing in Madagascar.
They're standing up, they're looking around. They can't find the thing they're looking for.
If I have told this I'm so sorry. But my friend Dell grew up in Manhattan, and Dell, he was a great dude, is a great dude, but he is. He's a black guy who went to school in Upper or West Side Manhattan and as a school field trip, they bust all the kids out to where in the
world is Carmen San Diego? The the hit game show for kids and after school highlight show in the nineties, and he advanced and they gave him the continent of Africa and the way that the final round, if you won, they would say, here's the United States, and they would go Tennessee and you had to put like a flag thing and had a light on it, and if you got it right, you moved on. You got five of them or whatever ten of them you won for the day.
And I know they they were prejudiced. I know they gave del Africa because he was a black kid, really and he did not get one right.
Yeah, but he's confusing.
Yeah, large air so hard because they didn't give him South Africa start with a layout the southernmost country and this poor kid is running around on TV just biffing it. So but then you go, yeah, if they if I had Asia and they go Japan, I go got it, they go China, got it. And then when they start to go Vietnam or Malaysia or Bangladesh, I'm oh, I might.
But you know, my brother is in the State Department, and so he would he would play this game with me where he would just name he would name capitals of countries and then I would have to name the country. I could not name one if you put like if I had a blank map of South America and of Africa, and I would even Europe. I would get the majority wrong, like I could pick out Italy because it's a boot shape.
Because you know, ignorant.
So like I just geography has never been a thing, even the United States. I have a general idea, but actually no, like Olive and Gus came across this like little map.
It was.
It was a puzzle for kids, and it's all wooden pieces, and all the wooden pieces are the States. Even that we spent hours just being like this is what I know. This one's main but that's pretty much and then it stops.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, I know. We I was doing bar Trivia and silver Lake right before the Great Choir, and I was with Blake and Mikey and my other friends. And then the final round for our trivia team were state capitals and you had to send one person from your team up to the stairs, so it wasn't that
bar public house that's closed now. And then it was first every time you got one wrong or you repeated one, you were eliminated, and they sent me up and I just held a few in the back of my in the back pocket, like everybody knows, sort of the basic ones. But I was sitting on Maryland, which everybody thinks is Baltimore.
Oh wait, wait, let me think, I think Columbia, right, No, no, oh, what is it?
Annapolis?
Annapolis?
And so that's like a sneaky one. And then Florida. Everybody thinks it's like Jacksonville or Miami or one, and it's Tallahassee. And so I was just sitting on these capitals and we ended up winning the round and winning the game. But it was so funny just to watch four adults no clue because once somebody named one, you were like, oh, California, You're like Sacramento, Okay, that's easy, yeah, And then you get to the middle and you're like, is it Omaha or is it Lincoln And does it matter?
I'm not sure.
Also, it's interesting as cities that capitals are for the most part, disappointment city, not the best city, they're disappointment cities like Sacramento. Do you want to go to Sacramento?
I think about Sacramento more than the average person you do. I think you know people that hate California, they really hate La and San Francisco. They don't hate the whole state. You can't hate California because you're like, oh, you hate Yosemite, Well then you're a monster. You hate the Redwoods, go
to hell. Yeah. But I'm like, and then Sacramento is sitting right there, and I'm like, what they should just inject so much money and culture into that city and just make it so unique and so cool and just build it to be something new. And instead it's.
Like, nah, I will I hear that, just because San Francisco is so insane, the Bay Areas so looney Tunes, looks like in its own world with prices, that Sacramento is starting to become cool. That is, I know one person that lives there and they're just like, it's starting to become cool now.
So look at that. Hope that's true. I look at the barbecue there once. I still did a boutique motel there once. That was really cool. I think it needs to be a great California city. So I'm pro Sacramento. Yep, it's an educational podcast.
Here's one of educational Send us home, Scottie, send us God.
This was so funny, I might save it for our next guest. Okay, yeah, let me just one that work. Steph Schrader. Thank you, Steph Shrader. You always send great stories. Thank you, Steph. This was in science alert dot com, so you know it's got to be maybe real. Written by Michelle Starr Best in the Biz. Also sounds like a fake name for Science alert dot com, but thank you Michelle Starr for doing the lord's work. Rock used as doorstep for decades turns out to be worth over
one million dollars. One man's trash is another man's treasure, but a chunk of rock used to keep a door open for decades is a treasure by pretty much any metric you might use. Good writing. The three point five kilogram ak seven point seven pound stone was found in a stream bed in southeast Romania by an elderly woman who brought it home and put it to use as
a doorstop. Her discovery turned out to be one of the biggest intact chunks of amber in the world, its value somewhere in the region of one point one US million dollars.
Oh my god, Oh my god. Did she get the money? Did she get the money?
The elderly woman who found this particular rumnite nugget ba blah blah blah. No. The woman died in nineteen ninety one, but a relative inherited her home suspected the doorstop might be more than meets THEI. On learning what he had, he sold the amber to a Romanians, to the Romanian state, who had it a praise by experts at the Museum of History in Krackow And, Poland. According to these experts, amber is like this amber is likely between thirty eight
and seventy million years old. What a guest, am it? What a nice range, A.
Giant forty five million year range. It's just it's somewhere in somewhere, essentially saying it's old. We don't know if it's old or really old.
So that guy scored a million dollars from the Romanian state, and then it resembles a man in Michigan, which is, according to us, not a Midwestern state. But you can sound off in our DMS.
Sound off in our DMS sound off.
Who kept us a large Oh? He kept a large piece of rock as a doorstop, only to be found he was keeping a meteorite that was worth over one hundred thousand dollars. So check your doorstops. Stops using a rock.
Okay, well, I like I like a rock doorstop. There's to have a manufactured doorstop. When rocks are everywhere we live, pile of rocks, use one.
To put your door open. That's right. Well, thank you everybody, exactly right.
Thank you to everyone who send in stories. Thank you to everyone who listens. Thank you to everyone who follows us on Instagram. Thank you to Katie Levine. Thank you to Lisa Maggot, our real human intern, part time employee.
Thank you Scotty, thank you Kurti B. And thanks all bananimals. Stay safe out there, have fun, don't get meaner, get nicer. It's an educational podcast that we call Bananas. Y Bananas is an exactly right media production. Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine. The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Artwork for Bananas designed by Travis Millard.
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstar
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern man