Scott you ready, Oh, I'm reading a love and Love and Love.
Meet the South American fox wolf with stilt legs and urine that smells exactly like marijuana.
I would love to I want to party with that guy because he sounds like he's got a lot to offer and he's going places. Let's find out more about our cated friends on this very animalistic episode of Bananas.
Your world understand, would you?
It's not your linecillion pieces you Bana Bana banana banana by bananas.
Banana guys, gals, non binary pals. Welcome to Bananas. I am Kerk Brown older.
I am Banana boy number or to Scotty landis. Thank you sincerely for listening and supporting the silliest little podcast there ever was.
Oh well, Scottie, I am currently in a crawl space.
Yeah, I see that.
In a crawl space in a garage in Scent on the central coast of California. Good place to be, yeah, a good place to be. We're not in Los Angeles right now, Thortfully. Our house is okay, and we're just up here sitting it out because we got a little guy with sensitive lungs.
Well, I can understand why because the air here is not good. Thank you to everybody. The wildfires were as bad as they look. They decimated several huge parts of the city, and I personally have at least six friends that lost their homes and everything in Alta, Dina and the I have friends the Palisades, so I haven't heard from. I know they're alive, so but they are They lost everything too, So it really was awful. It was terrible and bizarre and scary.
I saw something about whenever people ask about things that happened in California, you know, if there's an earthquake or something, if there's a mud slide, people always reach out to like are you okay, And it's always not as bad as it seems on the news. And this was a tweet from somebody I think it was maybe Adam McKay who then said, but this time it was way worse than people understood.
I agree it was insane. I agree that was crazy, but you and I both had to evacuate. We got all we got all our people pets out of there, and it was thankfully you and I dodged. It was just luck of the draw that our houses didn't burn down. I was explaining it to friends that the way the fires were popping up when the was at its strongest, like we're talking like.
Eighty miles an hour, like trees are bending over.
It was when I go to a bar. Some places call them a pub, some call them a tavern, a social house. I if I'm playing darts, I can guarantee you can.
Call them tips. Some call them little missiles.
Yeah, danger badminton, danger birdies as some people call them danger birdies. But the point is I know I'm going to hit that dart board every single time, doesn't matter how drunk I am.
Wow.
What I don't know is where that dart is going. Yeah, no idea if it's going to hit a one or a twenty or an eleven or a bull's eye. I do not. And that's what the fire map felt like. When we were auch on. We got to give it up. Also, I mean, has any app ever stepped up harder than maybe Zoom during the pandemic.
Watch them, Watch Duty, Watch Duty. It was six thirty of the morning on Tuesday, and it was like Watch Duty was the or no Wednesday. I guess we left on Wednesday. Yeah, but like six thirty in the morning, Laurd's talking about watching it. I'm like, I've never heard, what are you talking about. It's six thirty the morning. You're giving me a new app to deal with right away?
Oh exactly, and also great app. I think it's a nonprofit and it saved so many lives. It's an incredible app. And also thanks to the dozens of friends and family who don't live in California who also discovered the Watch Study app, who not only told me about it, but we're also sending me updates from so far away to make sure I was safe. So many ban animals reach out from around the world ask if Kurt and I were okay. We, like I said, we both evacuated. We're
lucky our homes are not destroyed. Everybody, there's been a huge outporting of support, which is lovely because you can either stay heartbroken and feel terrible, or you can feel excited to contribute and do something in your own way and to support. If you can't support Elie wildfires, you could do something in your own community, town, or house, and so turn your frown's upside down and get it excited about how you can participate and make things better.
The people out here I try to volunteer two places, and they were like, we're good on volunteers at the moment, and we don't. We're not accepting any other donations because we're overwhelmed with clothing, groceries, water. It's pretty amazing that in this hellscape that happened so quickly, how fast, so many people stepped up to do the right thing.
It was really amazing. And you know what I was thinking about that, I think the sweet spot is going to be in two weeks because after like people start getting back to normal life, then there all of a sudden, they're working again. You know. Like that's when I think that I'm going to go and volunteer as soon as I get yeah, because.
They'll be happy to do it. I'm going to go do some clean up. Oh my gosh, I yes. But anyways, thank you to everybody who support and also Kurtibe and I did a go fundme. We're gonna leave it up till the end of January. It's a bad hand bananas and basically donate whatever you want. Or you can draw a banana with your non dominant hand and you get your friends to give you three dollars to show it to them and then throw it in there. We're already
up to forty two hundred dollars. It all it's for it all goes directly to victims and firefighters, and it's it's a big deal. All that money. People are gonna need money in a big way because they lost it all.
They lost everything, I really did. One of my children's teachers lost her home and so like that's gonna be, you know, an entire thing for the whole rest of the year. You know, we don't a lot of money so that she can hopefully get some sort of transitional housing going. But her you know, her husband has Parkinson's and it's just you know, she's an older woman to be teaching for thirty five years. I mean, these stories are like over and over and over and over and again.
So if you can go. A lot of people are hosting gofundmes that have not been met yet, especially Megan Gaily and Chris Garcia. They're both featuring people that they know specifically in Alta Dina. Check out their Instagram accounts, and it's really helpful if you want to just go do something right now.
That is such a good point. And even if you don't know what to do in your town. We have a Bananimals group for the American Red Cross for blood drives or plately drives. It's pretty incredible. We are currently ranked three hundred and twenty eighth in the United States. We are above Creighton University. We're above JP Morgan Chase. That's not surprising, that's surprising.
That's of course we are.
This one might blow your socks off, Kurt. We are ranked higher than Hubbs corn Maze, so the good people, but hubs are getting hubs corn Maze. I don't know what that is, but we are behind Emory University. So please sign up on the app for Bananimals and donate blood in the next three weeks and will consider it a win for LA wildfires.
I've always been thinking, is there a way to gamify blood donation? And thank god the American Red Cross figured it out. Yes they did, putting people in competition to see who could donate the more blood.
Kurt. We're three hundred and twenty eighth out of sixty nine thousand teams.
My god, that's amazing.
So we are called the Banannimals. Sign up for the app, go donate blood. That's something you can do in your own time and your own and your own town. But thank you for everybody reaching out and donating, but also just thanks for turning to us also when you get stressed out, because it's a relief for us to entertain you. So thanks to all the ban animals everywhere. We are fine, We are safe. We got lucky.
People say a lot like, thank you guys so much for doing this because it gives me a place to go to listen to something that releases their tension. But guys, we thank you. You know what I mean, Like we don't. This This is, this is This podcast is a pure joy to do and I really look forward to, especially right now when I can get one hour.
I have been with my children not stop for five fucking weeks.
It is there is a point at which too much of a good thing is a terrible, terrible thing. Absolutely, I am so happy they're safe, and I should shut the fuck up that they're safe. Everything is okay. But it has been a very very long time with nowhere to put them other than just right in front of me. What are we doing next, what's happening next?
Let's play the quiet game. Who consists be quiet the longest.
They see right through it.
They see they're too smart. But that's also a great You know, you don't have to have kids, folks, something like me. I'm not gonna have kids. And you don't need a reason. If you need a reason, Kurt just gave you one.
Not to I've got you too.
You don't need to explain yourself to anybody. Don't listen. Don't have kids because somebody else tells you to. Don't try to make somebody else happy, Make yourself happy, live your own life. If you want to pump them out, have as many as you can handle. If you don't, you're fine too. It's okay to go either way.
Now, you know, I know you want to hear about this this fox wolf.
This long leg we'd smoking penis beer.
I mean, but I'm first gonna tell you a little something. This is an update. This is an update. This is a this Banana's update. I'm gonna do this story first. I'll do the wolf one in the Wolf Fox in the next half. But I think you know a little place Scotty called.
The Tan Hill in boy Do I ever.
Yeah, So we did a story I don't know.
What was that to two years ago.
I think, yeah, people to see an oasis cover Band, which is one of the most northern British pubs you can visit, and they got snowed in for I think eleven day, seven days or something like that, and so it's just all these oasis. A man stuck in this pub for like seven or ten days.
It was incredible.
It has happened again. It has happened again.
So jealous.
This is from the BBC snowed in pub guests rescued after five days. A group of guests and staff who've been stranded at Britain's highest pub have finally been able to leave after a five day snow in. A snowploufs Low Lower and Gritters managed to get through the six foot drifts blocking the tan Hill in in the Yorkshire Dales, so the twenty three pubgoers, including a four year old child and six workers could get home fun. The pub
manager told the BBC. More staff was also finally able to get to the pub to take over there is. She said, I went to work on New Year's Eve and only got back yesterday. That was on the seventh I think speaking about spending so long cooped up with twenty three St Hay said, everyone was amazing. No one was annoying. That's a lie. That four year old was definitely a four year old that can't go outside for five days. Yeah, no, unbearable. She also said few of
the staff missed some major milestones while they were locked in. Okay, one mister daughter's eighteenth birthday. Another missed the birth of her granddaughter who she's that's huge since met for the first time. There was also two Australian guests in the group. Also, of course they are not aware that on New Year's Eve two years ago, this exact same thing happened. Is no one aware of that they bring a four year.
Old to this, that they're just like the four year old. Yes, because I would go intentionally to get snowed in. I want to go Tanhill and get snowed in for a week and eat pub food. And I don't know what they play up there. I don't know what they play in Northern England. They should start doing mandolins.
They should just start saying like, come here, you're we do a lock in. We do a snow in lock in for five loves. Every I would go. That would be such a blast. And then they interview this member of staff, Ellie Applegarth, who was not even there for the for the She was not even there for the actual lock in. She just arrived to like take over and they just interviewed her and I was like, why is this person being interviewed like she wasn't even part
of the thing. And then they the only photo, the only photo they have of this entire thing is of Ellie Applegarth. And Ellie Applegarth is a supermodel. Ellie guard is the Applegarth, the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my entire life.
I'm looking her up on my phone, Ellie Applegarth.
And I was, there's a photo of her, and it's the only photo for the entire The BBC put this up because Ellie Applegarth should be in con.
I don't know where supermodels go. Where does super models go?
Monica, I Milan, Milan, Paris, Milan, Los Angeles, California.
The runways of Milan to the Tannhill in the place that doesn't seem to be able to not let people leave.
That is so funny. But also yes, I mean, well, who knows, Maybe a child comes out of this, Maybe a Tanner Tanner Hill Johnson comes out of the speaking which I have a friend named Rebecca Johnson who lives up that way. Rebecca report in from Tannhill.
In I guess, and I know Rebecca Johnson as well. Yeah, from the onlines.
From the onlines, So one dream come true. Yes, I would intentionally try to get locked in there also, like at our age. So I'm on day nine or ten of my dry sixty nine, going right, great. I timed it a little different this year. Mine's going to end on Saint Patrick's Down.
Oh that's exciting. I'm also in the I have been trying to start mine, but right after New Year's I stopped at New Year's and then two days later we had to fly to to say go bye to a relative who was dying, and it was a very difficult situation that I'm not at liberty to give details about. And I was just like, oh, we're drinking now. And then we got back and it was two days later and then I stopped drinking, and then two days later
it started again. Oh yeah, the fire started and I was like, oh am, I locked in a hotel now with two children, I'm gonna drink.
Yeah, you're fine. You could start it whenever you want to consecutive days take a staycation. These are hand of God. Hand of job has come down and flicked us.
I was feeling really guilty about it, especially today, of just like not being back or anything. And it's just because of the little ones, you know, But that like that, I don't know that guilt of like I should just be back at work, I should be getting getting in the grind again, you know, And it just like it feels like it's we're still in the middle of it, of it of a traumatic experience. Like the fires are out, they're not even out. They're still burning.
That's the craziest part, buddy. Everybody I talked to that lost their house was laughing and jovial and isn't this crazy? And they are in shock. Yeah, they don't realize it's just could be. I mean, I mentally prepared to go, what do I do if this happened? If if I lose my house? I'm like, well, okay, so everybody's a jock, but let's bring it back to old tan Hill.
Yeah.
I do. The staff I feel the worst for because those people, you know, people that work in movie theaters don't love the smell of popcorn. It's like if you work at that place and you're like, let's let's punch out. I already ran the glassware, and then you realize that you're going to have to work the kitchens and pour the beers for another six days without.
Without stop, without a break, working essentially sixteen hours a day.
As somebody who's bartended, I would have ended up being an American who wants to talk too much. Generally, I would have been like, can I bartend tomorrow? Can tomorrow be Scotty Bartend's day. I'll do a great job, And I would again I would like this too much. I'm built. This is like, I'm so envious of these people. It just seems like such a fun adventure.
Have you ever been snowed in anywhere?
Sure, a lot of places, I'm sure. On the pot I talked about it once, but on a youth group trip, we got snowed in in the nineties at the ski resort, and all our parents just Western Union money or called the hotel and put their credit cards on file. It was supposed to be two nights, three days of skiing, yeah, and I think it ended up being like five nights, six days, and it was. It was like little club med. I was like, I knew two people, and my two
roommates were guys from my school. Actually, my buddy Jason lived on my street. And then I didn't know really anybody else that well. And by the end I had all these new friends. We were all skiing and snowboarding and powder which none of us had ever done. But then because our parents were all nice enough to put their credit cards on fire, we're getting like pizza, room service and just hot chocolates flowing like wine. It was.
They had an arcade there so you could and they had pull tables and air hockey and all the fun stuff. So we're just like hanging out in the arcade like it's our bar because we're all twelve years old. Thirteen years old. It was fabulous. It was a drink because
they tried to get us out of there. The only I guess thrilling part is they were like, okay, guys, it stopped snowing, and then the coach bus couldn't make it up the hill, so they actually had to stop and wait until the snow and the ice melted off the road. Because they tried, we drove up and then one hundred and however, me people fit on a bus drifted all the way back down, and they tried one more time and they're like, Nope, that's that's quite enough.
Terrifying. Oh, that's so scary to be in a in a situation where you're not driving and it's a large vehicle that just could like tip over.
Yeah, it was a very exciting weekend, but not as an adult. I'm trying to think I've been stuck. Besides, you know, the COVID nineteen virus that locked us all in pretty good, but this, Yeah, no, I mean we're a little locked in right now. We're not supposed to go outside.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I feel that way as well. I remember once it was college. It was a second year. I was in Baltimore, and I did not expect a snowstorm in Baltimore. But this was like one of the worst snowstorms in Baltimore in like twenty five years.
That's the same one.
Yeah, okay, that's the same one.
So it was like, yeah, we're six years apart or whatever.
Yeah, So it was like so it was like six feet of snow, and I had decided that I came back after like the day after Christmas, because I was like, oh no, Mom, I'm not staying with you. I'm getting back to my friends. And we were staying in the dorms and the dorms were like eight stories or something, and it was empty. It was like because it was the day. It was like the December twenty sixth, do
you know what I mean? So it was like twenty sixth through the first or second, and it was the four of my four roommates and UH and me and I had gotten weed in Jersey and I'd like brought it back up and we were just gonna like and then it snowed and snowed six feet, so we're just like stuck. Couldn't go outside smoking weed all the time. And but there was a like skeleton staff that ran the the the cafeteria on the dining hall, so he
would schedule art. It became so crazy. We would wake up around six pm and go have dinner for breakfast, and then stay up all night long smoking weed and listening to music, and then go to bed as the sun rose and have breakfast for dinner and then go to bed. And we did that for four day straight until I finally dug my car out using a trash can, like one of those like bathroom trash cans, you know, like you get issued in your dorm. That bathroom trash
can was the thing. We dug it out, and then we just started like driving around Baltimore like snowy, snowy Baltimore at night.
Man, that's so fun.
And it was so fun a snow It was so fun because the snow in is like, oh, there's no there's no there are other than like you know, car accidents and stuff like that, and of course people who don't have heat and stuff. It's more just like, oh, this is a this is a true snow day. You know, there's no climate emergency. It's just like, oh, it's just snow. Or at least it used to not be that way.
I mean it was always that way, even at UMass when class wasn't canceled, but you know, you would and people really did do this. This feels like something out of a storybook, but it's really true. They would steal the trays from dining hall and then we would go sledding. There were different areas on campus that had really big hills, but it was very fun to do. So I have to say, the biggest betrayal of my whole life was
when I was at University of Massachusetts Amhurst. I would argue the dining halls of dining commons were some of the worst food ever presented to human beings in the modern era. Like you get used to it because you're young and you're hungry, but like we would walk extra far in whatever weather because this one dining hall served cheese pizza. That's it. It was so bad everywhere else
that you would walk for this bad pizza. There's one guy that would make omelets named Angus on weekends, as we call them, like the omelet Lord or the omlet God. That was a big deal. You'd wait in line for forty minutes for one guy named Angus to make you one omelet. So the food, so we ate chicken pucks, and they saw they had steam scrod, which is a type of fish. Scrod is you know what college kid doesn't want to eat scrod before a night on the town.
And chicken pocks were just breaded chicken cutlets that you would stack three. You would do roll chicken cutlet, mayo, tomato chicken cutlet, letuce, tomato, barbecue sauce, top of the role that got us through a lot of the times. But now U Mass is maybe the best dining halls in the entire country.
Food are much better.
They are the bredible and they feed all the leftover food to the hog farm because there's an agricultural U Mass was an agricultural school first. But yeah, I've recently read like reviews of like ranking food at state colleges or universities that U Mass is like number one, And I'm like, you sons of bitches. The amount of scrot I shoved down my gullet I would make Herman Melville weep.
It was horrible. I mean, like it is what is it about the world in general? Because it's not just U Mass. It's like the world in general everywhere the food has gotten better. Like what was it before? Like were people just did they not? What happened? Is it globalization?
Is it our like access to like other tastes that people were like, you know what, maybe we shouldn't boil our steak anymore and we should instead we should instead grill it and make it taste good with salt, you know, like where was the switch and why did it happen? I would read a whole book about that.
I think it was the nineties because in the eighties it was microwave era, it was TV dinner, it was like microwaveable foods. Isn't this amazing? And yeah, there's some heavy hitters came out of that. Easy Mac I'm sure came out of that timeframe. But then yeah, some it must have been the Internet. It's probably the rise of social media and other people looking at what other people are eating and saying I want that.
People just having more access to information were just like, oh, my food is terrible.
Yeah, and then also, yes, I think it's but also the food's still garbage so many places, but you know, sometimes garbage tastes incredible.
Give me one.
Here's one. Al who sent this in, Oh the Wondrous Jasmine sent this one in. You can end strange news stories, weird news stories, just funny online news stories to the Bananas Podcast at Instagram or the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. We also have a website, bananas podcast dot com, where all of this information is always available at your fingertips. This was an Embassy five Chicago, written by Best in the Biz journalist Alex Fisher. Maybe it's a dude. Maybe
it's a babe, maybe it's a non binary friend. We don't know, and we and we'll never look it up. Alex Fisher? Is that good that we just are stuck to his, her or their words?
Kurt?
What happened to the coyote pulled from the shelf at the Chicago Aldi store.
What happened? What happened? I want to know. Everybody wants to know. You ask a question like that, you better have a good answer.
M Well, Alex Fish, does she she or they dangle a carrot like that out front of you? Here it comes coming in hot from NBC five Chicago, the Windy City.
I would love it if this was a three a three three word article. They shot him.
No they did not, Thank God, no animals will be hurt on this podcast. Officials gave an update Tuesday on a coyote pulled from a refrigerator shelf out an.
All the regerator show.
Dude, it is we have There's a lot to discuss. Feel free to look it up. It's a now viral video. By the way, it was an Ald in Chicago. Aldi is a big grocery store for those who don't know. Around the world, the coyote was taken in by Flint Creek Wildly Free of Rehabilitation, which has several locations in the Chicago and suburban Bearrington areas. The rehab setter said one of its volunteers picked the coyote up Chicago Animal Care and Control and brought him to their facility around
seven pm on Monday. The coyote is unharmed, he was scared. The group said in social media. We will return him to the wild as soon as he is ready. So happy ending. We have a lot of animal lover ban animals. Don't you worry. It all worked out.
Yeah, he's the cutest coyote I've ever seen. Every coyote I see in LA looks like he is out there looking to eat anything that moves. This guy looks very much like a dog, More like a dog than I've seen any coyote.
Look, he's eating deep dish petes out of dumpsters exactly his whole life. He's got Chicago dogs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he loves a deep dish.
He loves a deep dish. That guy freaking loves a deep dish. Pie. So the video for go. You know, Google, You guys have phones and stuff to look at things. So it is like a regular refrigerated shell where you might buy cheese or beer or butter.
No cases laying down.
He's fully inside of it, and this guy reaches in and grabs its tail animal control and pulls him out. A full grown coyote from a grocery store shell. Film. The guy is filming a terrible job. By the way, that guy needs to take a intro to film studies class. It's framed terribly. He pulls away at the best moment, and then as soon as they pull this little guy out, who's terrified, he jumps right back in and buries himself so deep. I didn't know grocery store shelves went that week.
I thought they were eighteen inches mass.
Sometimes you can load them from the back, you know, But those are usually the ones that's with a door. This does not have a door. This is one of the open shelves.
Yes. The unexpected discovery was seen on video as an officer was spotted trying to pull an animal from the cold food shelf inside the Humboldt Park al d Store. After some time they are officer grabs a kattie's legs and animals slowly pulled from between produce in a startling scene. Chicago Animal Care and Control in Chicago police confirmed the responded to the eight hundred block of North Kenzie around ninety five am and safely took us tough the coyote.
Police said no injuries were reported at the incident, and they said that they believe the kyote was attempting to hide from traffic. That makes sense to me.
He definitely got away from traffic. He got in with the cheeses. There's a lot of places to go where there isn't traffic. The cheese is more specific than that.
The cheese section of his local grocery store just traffic free zone. We theorize the coyote entered an open door of the grocery store trying to escape human traffic and hid in the refrigerated section and an attempt to hide from people inside the store. They noted a similar incident took place at a Quiznos in Chicago in two thousand and seven. Wow, you knew I was gonna say two thousand and seven, because you just don't see Quiznos that often anymore.
I see him in airports still. That's the only place I get a Quiznos. Is in the Detroit Airport of the Chicago. I think it's a Detroit airport.
I like Firehouse subs. If I wish they were a sponsor of ours, I tear Firehouse.
Oh never, are they stack up against Jersey Mike's pow?
Oh well, that's a good question, because I think Jersey Mike's. I think Michaels of New Jersey just got bought out by some big conglomerates. So I have a feeling like black Rock or Blackstone or one of those one of those evil, dark, capitalistic.
One that's sounds exactly like a mercenary group that fights yea America.
Yeah, so something like that bottom. So I hear that they're going to plummet in quality very soon, the same way that Buffalo Wild Wings does. This is what I'm reading on Reddit. Whether it's sure or not, you're on the.
You're on the Michaels of New Jersey reddit page all the time.
I say, I'm looking that subreddit, Michaels of New Jersey. I'm clicking I wanted Mike's way every day. I've never had a sub in a tub. Have you ever done that? No?
No, I would not get a sub in a tub.
I know that's the one salad. It's a chef's out.
It's too much meat. It's too much meat for a salad. That's a meaty salad. That's what they call that.
I think when we had Lizzie Cooperman, the very funny Lizzy Cooperman on and she used to do that podcast where she would let her listeners vote for what she wanted to do, and then one of them was like, tell everybody, it's your birthday and get every free birthday food item. So she got the the Black Angus pazuki, but she also got a free tub and a sub pazuki.
The pazuki is a I thought a pizza cookie right from bej I don't know jumper pizuki, and it's all every word about it is awful. It's a BJ's pazuki and you get it on your birthday. Sounds good to me, sounds fun.
But whenever I hear tub in, a sub and a tub, I think of Lizzie because of that episode. And that's such an unfair because she's a lovely woman. She had nothing about her screams sub and a tub, and we should have her back on. She's wonderful experts took the opportunity to remind the public that January through March is coyote mating season, which often leads to increased activity and sightings as they search for mates in unestablished territories.
It's suggesting that this coyote was making sweet love to a cheese.
I think so, all right, I think that is what they're saying. While coyotes are generally not a threat to humans, it's always best to avoid interaction. I mean, out here setes.
Every day, a little bit of Camelbert on a little bit of breeze all the time.
That actually, they should get Mambo number five. They should do that. They should call that dude up and be like, hey, do a cheese commercial for us. We really need a great idea, lou Bega lou Bega Vega to.
Do a cheese version, because that's what's on my mind.
M h me too, man. And also, you can just list cheeses and people would not along and be like, oh yeah, I haven't had Colby in a while.
Everybody loves that, right, come on, now, you know.
What cheese they don't have out here that week? Gotta tell me monster they have that out here? I know you'd never see. It's never on a menu.
That's so, it is never on a menu. And I would say weirdly because I like a lot of very pungent cheeses. But I would say monsters one of my favorite sliced cheeses. Me too, Oh, I love monster, You love a monster? They I never see it out here.
You never. You never hear somebody order of roast beef and monster, or ham and monster. On the East Coast, you heard that monster cheese.
Get monster. I would turkey sandwiches and monster cheese was the only thing I ate from age fourteen to eighteen.
You dirty dog. And look at you. You're six four and a half. I mean, if you want a tall ten.
Years old and I starts drinking coffee at twelve, it's all lies, folks, it's all lies.
If you want to get a big boy, if you want your son or daughter to be a six footer, you feed that kid monster cheese every day.
You see what you Breastfeed that boy to three and let him do whatever the fuck he wants. After that, he'll be six to four.
Absolutely, my gosh. Also, we might sound insane. What if it's only a New Jersey to Maryland thing. This monster cheese, No, I buy it out here.
I got it for you.
Oh you're a good man um munster. Oh it's from Germany. It's a German cheese. Okay, well, Teessa sending some thumbs up.
Oh yeah, well it's You're just gonna learn about this stilt legged old fox and piss smells like marijuana.
Pal oh man, I can't wait to learn about where he did coyotes or dude weird foxes. Here we go thumbs up. Got a few and also been animals. I went back through and organized them. I'm gonna clear all these out in the next four episodes, so keep them coming. I figured it out. It's a it's a tough system, Samantha Gray, thumbs.
Are deeply for keeping this system going on.
It's God, it's more work than you would think.
I know.
Samantha Gray is thumbing herself up for ending a toxic seventeen year relationship and standing firm. Excellent thumbs up. That's a great thing to do. Stand firm. You deserve the best in the world. Don't let any bozos hold you back. You rule. Adam is thumbing his wife Tia all the way up for taking their nice people. We met them taking the first steps in starting her own private chef business. It's been a long dream that Tia is finally materializing
into something truly amazing. We met them at the Comedy on State show, and then I ran across the street and met Adam and Tiya at the Botany Social I think it was called the Botanist or Botany Socials. Really good place, I asked, and they were there with a group of friends. Really couldn't have been nicer people. After the show and I said, what do people in Madison, Wisconsin drink? And they said old fashions. They said Madison
is known for their old fashions. What I know? And I had one or two with the gang before I met you for a very nice dinner where we had some incredible minood. We got that's a great club. Comedy on State is a great club. So out out to that whole crew, Amanda, Lauren, Kelsey, and Nicole. I believe they were all very nice people. Had a nice chat. Thumbs up. This is for me and you. Kurt to Jimmy T a Dubai listener, Oh yes, Jimmy T listens
to some Dubai. Sends great stories, and he is also moving soon to Algeria, so he might be our first Algeria listener. Oh my god, we love our international bananimals. You can always say hey, you can send us postcards. You can just tell us where you're listening to us from. We have so many. You guys are the best.
Where would they send a postcard to Scotti po box?
You could send it to Bananas po Box three nine three four eight That is in Los Angeles, California, and that ZIP code is nine zero zero three nine, and I check it so you can make it out to Scotti Landis. If that's easier for you, no problem. But whenever I go pick up my mail, they're always like Bananas, so they know. Yeah, stabby Gabby is thumbing herself up for a year of sobriety.
Oh congratulations.
Right on. Gabby still works at a bar and gets home at four am, but her life has been monumentally better with sobriety. Gabby says, I'm flawed, I'm healing, and I'm proud as fuck.
Oh that's awesome. Congratulations, thumbs up.
So, like I said, I'm only about nine or ten days into this dry sixty nine, but I recall and this just happened to me four days ago during the evacuation. I'm not drinking. I walked by a bar. There was a football game on, and I just glanced inside. And what when you sober up and you start to see drunks. Everybody looks like a wet goblin or ghoul in there, Like you go, everybody's got that sheen on them. They're all talking too loud, they're all leaning in, and everybody
looks like a wet monster. And You're like, it takes the clarity of sobriety to spot that.
Oh great, I'm looking forward to it.
Also, Kurt, when was the last time you were I didn't even think of when you and I were at a bar until four am, four am, four a m. I mean, our friendship is forged on four am late nights in York City.
We would always be there until yeah, always the bars thirty if. I always considered if we did not close the bar, that that that was somehow a failure of an evening, which is a very stupid marker of success.
Well, I recall vividly many nights with you and our and our sort of extended friend and comedy crew where at midnight to one, you'd be all right, let's do a shot and a beer and then get out of here. And then that would be like three more shots and three more beers, and then you would still be like, is anywhere open? Yeah, maybe that's to do six drinks between two and four am? What were we doing about dreams?
I think we were just talking about dreams.
We were just talking about what we were going to accomplish and telling each other you're gonna do it, You're gonna do it.
But I'm really, I'm legitimately trying to remember the last time I was out at a bar at four in the morning, And I honestly think it was probably like when I was thirty three years old. I think that's the last time I was out at a bar four actually four, Like I've been out of bars at two definitely, but four piece of cake two is easy, no prob bob. But yeah, I think that's probably the last time.
Oh ky DOOKI Well, we'll have to do it again, if we ever do. If this year we do a run of shows and we end up in a city that actually stays open to four am, let's just close out that bar and last but not LEAs Beka Gee is thumbing herself and her boyfriend Chris up for both getting new jobs and getting out of equal corporate situations.
She says, Harley Davidson is suffering because people aren't buying motorcycles these days because they can barely afford grocery, and they're manufacturing more and more Harley's in Thailand and they suck. That is Beka G saying that it's not us. I have no idea, but I like that Beka G, so I support her. They both landed new jobs at much better places and they say it's not worth it. Happiness matters, So that's right. If you're stuck and you can make
the pivot, make the pivot. Thank you to everybody for your thumbs up. Thumbs up to you guys, and let's dedicate this whole episode Banana of the Week to all the firefighters and the mts that just absolutely those pilots dropping water with accuracy, it's crazy.
And then pulling up like dropping them in a canyon and then pulling up before hitting the other side of the canyon is really incredible. So yeah, thank you, Thumbs up Banana the Week.
Bananas of the Week here it is mained wolf.
M A n D strikingly beautiful South American canid. So this was Live Science. This was sent in by cop behaste. Thank you, copy Haste classes Behaste. This was written by Megan Suresby for Live Science. Thank you, Megan.
You're the best in the bears can type.
Where it's found South America, Argentina, Bolivia, Brazil, Paraguay, Peru, and Uruguay. Omnivorous diet, eats everything. Here's why it's awesome. They say, if there was a beauty contest for wild canines, the mained wolf would surely be the winner, with its flowing red coat, long legs, and large ears. I disagree with that. It looks crazy to me. It looks strange like if you've ever seen like an ad at walker from Empire strikes back, and then imagine that as a fox.
That's what it looks like. That's the the length of its legs to the width of its body. Its legs are so incredibly long it looks like it's on stilts. Despite resembling a red fox and being called a wolf, the Maine wolf is not closely related to either of those almost. In fact, the main wolf forms its own genus uh crias, which which translates to Golden Dog, which is an amazing, an amazing translation.
Yeah, the main good name for an improv team, too. Yeah, that's a good name for an improv team, Golden Dog.
Didn't we decide there was a good name for an improv group that's never existed before last time too?
I think we did. I know, I don't remember bananas at all. By the way, in life, I have no I have no I just don't remember anything we talked about on this podcast.
Crazy.
I think that means we're living in the moment.
We're very Yeah, that's good, that's good, right. But people would be like, they'll say something and they'll be like, oh, you guys were talking about that, and I was like, I have no memory of that.
Yeah, me too.
We're just rolling with it here, all Rankie. The main wolf's legs may be an adaptation for hunting in grassland. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. There's a bunch of different details. Live science is not I fucking love science, so they're not Noper snarks good. But I will tell you this everybody's wondering about. It's piss right, because that's what you heard about more than anything. This isn't Wired magazine. This was written by Bryan swit Tech. Thank you, Brian, You're the best.
Wired was always my go to pre smartphones when I had to buy something at the airport to be on a plane. If you're buying maximum of FAHM or stuff, you look like a total creep. You're just You're like, I I'm not flying to New Hampshire if I'm not looking at cleavage and giant dump truck butts. But Wired you're like, I'm sophisticated. I'm not an old man. I'm not reading as Esquire, Vanity fair GQ. I'm a young guy. I like to know about things like dumb phones.
It is funny. Do you think the people who worked it wired when everything went wireless, they were like, do we change our name because being wired is no longer the cutting edge of tech?
Yeah, that's a good point. I don't know I think.
Ever asked themselves that question. Mmm. Here it is the question that kept rattling around my skull this morning was why does why does maimed wolf piece smell like marijuana? This isn't one of those why as a raven like a writing desk riddles. I don't know that reference.
Yeah, maimed wolves.
Large South American canids look like leggy foxes, but are neither foxes nor wolves. It's a very pungent, distinctive urine that smells the kin to hops or cannabis. The aroometamatic resemblance is so close that police were once called to the Rotterdamn Zoo in the Netherlands to search out a pot smoker, only to find that whoever made the report
had been fooled by the scent of maimed wolf urine. Also, whoever's calling in someone for smoking weed at the Rotterdamn Zoo, please grow up, do something better with your life.
Grow up. It's so fun. It's one of the best places to to do drugs.
Rodterdamn Zoo. Are you kidding me? The amount of times I've dropped asset at the Rotterdam Zoo. Where is the rotter Is that an Amsterdam?
I don't even I've never I've literally never been to the Rotterdam Rotterdam Zoo and not been enhanced to a level that has profoundly changed my life.
I caught a whiff of Maine urine while visiting the Smithsonian National one spring morning last year. Wasn't unpleasant slightly sweet, but stale and herb like scent. But why did it smell that way? What was the reason behind the strange convergence and odor? All right, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Here it is.
James Deed's hypothetized that the particularly strong smell of the urine might be an adaptation to maintaining territories by being strong enough to be detected at a distance or long
after the olafactory marker had originally been laid down. And yep, Child Sandford had to analyze a lot of peat, and she took the opportunity see if the secret pine the Canadan scent culture based on what was known aboutlah blah blah blah blah blah bah man, this gets in deep to like it gets into amino acids containing sulfur and stuff like that. Yeah, I don't know. It's pyrasign. It's what they figured out. It's pyrasign that makes it smell
like marijuana. But it looks like it's to keep animals away from each other.
So that sounds very good. I know, it sounds like a biological advantage for an animal that looks like a cartoon of a fox walking across the shallow pond and the water drains out and it was actually six feet deep.
So I think I told this story on bananas, but it's been years, so I'm going to tell it again. In my late twenties, my friend Michael was getting married and he decided to have a bachelor party in Brigantine. So it's not too far from Atlantic City in New Jersey, and they have dunes and beaches there. It's kind of Brigantines,
like a Barrier island, I think. And we were like three or four blocks from the beach the airbnb that we rented, and so at night we would get really high and walk up to the beach and just like run around on the beach. And I would always take my shoes off and leave them like right kind of in the middle, like there was there was like kind of a boardwalk that came out in between the dunes that you could walk through, and then you would get
to the beach, left my shoes there. I come back after like just frolicking and swimming in the ocean, whatnot. I come back and there's only one shoe there. And then I look and there is a fox with my other shoe in its mouth. And then I was like, hey, come back, and it stops and it looks at me with the shoe in its mouth, and I said, come here,
and it was just sitting there staring at me. And so then I threw the other shoe at the fox to try and get him to drop the other shoe, and he did drop that shoe and then picked up the other shoe and ran into the stootes. I'm right footed and had one shoe left. And it turns out that they are beach foxes. They're the Brigantine beach fox. It's a very specific fox.
I know.
I've never seen a fox before in New Jersey, never seen one since, only at the beach in Brigantine. And they live in the dunes and they love the salt on the shoe laces that people leave behind, so they'll steal it just and chew it to get all the salt out. I believe that, which seems weird because they live at the beach. Everything salty at the beach.
It gets so crabb mm hmmm. So there's a guy. Oh, sorry, you please.
So then I go back in the morning and I have to like hunt through the dunes to try and find my shoes because I'm not in a place where I could just buy other shoes at this point. And I find the shoes and it's true. He has taken the laces out, and the laces are gone and left the shoe behind, and I just found it maybe thirty five feet from where we were, and so got it back. He got my laces, and I walked home, flip flopping all the way back to New York City.
But new laces, new pair of tennis shoes. You know, you can take clean laces and an old pair of shoes. You got new shoes on there. It is or it's a nice way to live.
You have a really something that really sticks out on a ratty old pair of shoes.
That's true too. There's a little market near my house, and you know, I'm getting used to the neighborhood. I'm getting used to all the new weirdos. And there's some great ones. There's a guy that talks on a cell phoned shirtless and sweatpants in his driveway every single day. And there's a great writer that lives in the neighborhood, Samuel Gibson, really great writer, and he and I grabbed drinks sometimes and he was like, have you noticed any of the weirdos yet? And we know the shirtless guy.
There's a guy that walks his dogs and hits on people that are too young from all the time. We always like, get away, you creep. And then there's this barefoot guy in his like sixties and he's barefoot all time. I'm in the grocery store. I see it at this little market for the first time, barefoot, and this other guy, younger dude. So the one guy's an older white guy, and then this other guy that walks up to him as a younger black gentleman, taller than he is, and
he's like, how long have you been going barefoot? And the guy's like, oh man, I've been doing this for like twelve years. And he's like, you do it everywhere he goes, yeah, everywhere they let me and I'm eavesdropping. I'm like looking at tampons and Maxi pats, like reading the back like I'm very invested. I'm just grabbing for light bulbs. I'm like, oh, interesting wattage that's new to me.
Oh there's a string on one end, and so I am and he's like, oh, He's like, if you want more information on it, I actually wrote like a little book about it, and I have a blog and I'm like, Oh, this kid is going to make fun of this old guy. I'm like, this is gonna be great, and then strike me dead with lightning if it's not true. About a week ago, I saw them walking together, barefoot, just talking,
just right down the sidewalk. Just know they made friends from being the two craziest people in this neighborhood.
Oh my god, love that.
Just a sixty five year old white guy barefoot and just a six foot four, twenty something black gentleman barefoot, just just old friends. They just so much in common these too.
God.
I wonder how much their conversation revolves around barefoot activities, you know, or if it's just like let's walk around and bare feet together and then they talk about other life problems, or if it's just barefoot stuff.
I know, I hope it's I hope they become best of friends, and I hope the older guy leaves everything to the younger guy eventually.
I would love his shirt that said barefoot buddies. And it's just two pair, two pair of feet making a heart, do you know what I mean?
So it's of course I know what you mean.
It's a great idea, bare feet buddies.
Yeah, but they're gonna think you got a foot fetish and then you're gonna then you wear that thing around town. You're like, yeah, it's a.
Shit, damn it. Fetish is somebody ruining something, Scotty, give us a headline to send us home. Maybe we'll cover it next time.
Judge mocks drug dealer for not being very good at it.
Oh, yes, I want you to start. I want you to start the next episode with that.
You got it. Thanks to all the ban animals out there. Thanks to everybody exactly right, especially our producer and engineer Katie Levine, who always cleans us up and makes it sound so so good. You can download our theme song on band camp just search for Khan kay h An and Banana's theme song and it's ninety nine cents. So if you like our song, support Kahan.
Thank you guys.
Buh yeah. Nus Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
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