Scott You ready, Oh, I'm ready, laugh and laughing.
Low Man arrested, great start, more than one thousand home intrusions, says, but it's his hobby.
Well, hobbies are so important these days, more than ever. So before I cast the stone of judgment, I'm just gonna sit back, relax, and listen to our theme song on bananas.
All the way around the world that doesn't thank you? Got this streaby driving me, Babya's Baby Bananada driving we pas, baby.
Guys, gowns, non binary pals. Welcome to Bananas. I'm Kurt Brown Older.
I'm Banana Boy number two Scotty Landis. Thank you for listening to the silliest little podcast there ever was. Everyone's welcome here. We're glad to have you, and tell your friends about us. We'd love to get some new ban animals.
Are you kidding me? That would be so sweet. Tell him that we have a nice holiday version of our theme song that we play in December, and tell him that's the kind of attention to detail you you could come to expect from this very educational podcast.
Oh gosh, we teach people so much about so many things, it's hard to even explain it. So I rarely do, so you were just in Dender I've had.
The last seven days have been the most looney tuned in, like I think all year.
All.
Yeah, it was like I did after midnight on Monday. Then we had two episodes to record On Wednesday. I can't even remember. Wednesday, I had like second to last hot tub and two auditions and uh and had to go in and do a dance rehearsal for this piece that this sketch idear Kimmel. On Thursday, Oh, thanks man. And then Thursday all day was shooting that and then going to like out with the kids for like the
holiday light light ceremony. And then Friday, woke up, got the kids to school, cleaned the house, packed, left, got picked up the kids at noon, flew to San Francisco for a memorial for Lauren's uncle.
Okay, went to.
That on Saturday and then flew back Saturday evening, landed, put the kids to bed, then went to a party like a work party.
Yeah that was.
We were there until like two in the morning, then came home, then woke up, then flew to Denver, then did a show in Denver on Sunday night with Kumale and then just got home yesterday at like four pm.
It's yeah, well that's a good week.
See, people are always like, oh, I'm so busy, I couldn't get to so I didn't text you back. I'm so busy, ladies and germs, that's what busy sounds like. Well, because Kurt, you also have to be on for a lot of these things. It's not just showing up anybody could. I mean maybe at the memorial, I bet you didn't do fifteen minutes, but maybe you did.
But that's like socially being on, do you know what I mean? It's not like it's not my direct family, you know, so I I'm still like on my best absolute behavior.
Right, you have to be like, this is I am father, this is mother. Here are our children. We are dressed appropriately for this.
Let me remember key details about your life and ask you questions about them.
Mmmm.
Well I also saw you on After Midnight with Memory so funny you two were the finalists.
It was really great to see you both there.
And you know, I hadn't watched in a probably like a month, and the format has changed so much now that show is a true variety show.
It's really fun and also there's so many improvised parts now because it used to be you know, it was a half hour show before when it was on, and it was just you know, just you know, pre written joke, pre written joke, and now this is so much looser and what's crazy. Taylor has really done a good job with it.
She has.
And to the many, many ban animals who have suggested we have Taylor Tomlinson on bananas as a guest, we have a few times and she was a very good guest both times. You know, we'll have her again. You can suggest anybody you want to have on bananas, and within reason, we will. But just sometimes, you know, consider maybe we already have.
I would.
I still like to shout out everyone who has sent this like meme from I don't know how many years ago where someone just said they were at a bar once and they heard people chanting potassium and they came into a room and it was like one hundred people
dressed as a banana. The amount of times I don't know why, it just like maybe it got reposted on some very popular meme site, but the amount of the just this week that people have sent that in that's been being sent to us for four straight years, almost every day, and so realize we do know about it. And if you want to send us strange news to yeah, strange news, you don't need to dm us banana related things.
If you want to post banana related things in your store and tag us will repost you, that's fun, okay. But if you just send us banana related things, just realize all the banana related things in the entire universe, we've seen all of them. So just keep that admired. We appreciate your love, and we appreciate you thinking about us, but just realize that posted in your stories, you don't have to message us.
Very good, that seems that seems fair and balanced to me. That seems like the right way to do it. Are the stockings hung? Is your tree decorated? Is it full swing?
Holiday at the brown Olers.
You know, we got really into it right after Thanksgiving, so got pretty much got the tree up, got it decorated, got the stockings up. I have not had a chance to do my outside lights yet because of the insanity of last week. But this week is still pretty crazy. I mean, tomorrow is the twentieth anniverse. I mean tomorrow's
the last weekly hot Tub. Yeah, and for those who don't know, I've been running a a stand up slash variety show weekly for twenty years with Christian Shock Crazy and Borrow was our last one.
Yeah, I know I'll be there. It's going to be a real hang and I'm excited. I'm going to get there early because i want to grab a seat. I'm going to sit at the bar right where I did last week. And congratulations. It totally changed your stand up just having that audience every week. You went fast forward from never doing stand up to being a good stand
up way faster than the average person. Because of Hot Tub, you were able to see comedy every week, host a show every week, and then also work material every week for years.
For twenty years. My first time doing stand up was the first Hot Tub show.
It truly was.
Yeah, And it's crazy because people don't realize how much work everything takes. For the coaches out there, for the teachers out there, for anybody who throws a birthday party for their kids, anybody does a yard sale, everything takes effort and to book comics and to show up on time and to move schedules around, and then to also go up there and perform. It takes a tremendous amount of work, even if sometimes it looks like it does not.
So I'm relieved for you to have some free Wednesday nights moving forward, I think you're going to really enjoy that. I think I'm going to start something else at some point.
I know I probably will because I like that, but I might also you know, who knows. Maybe we could do hot Tub every once in a while, but it's just not going to be weekly anymore, you know, And that makes sense and to be a good hang and yes, and that's what's nice about it. This is what people are all, like you said, and I'm like, no, I'm
not sad, are you kidding me? Like this is I want I wanted it to because you know, there was a there's a point, especially because we had move venues and the many times the pandemic almost killed it that it was just like it wasn't necessarily what it was before, no, before the pandemic. But now that we said we're ending it, it has once again become what it was before, like just hot shows, packed audiences, feeling really good. And that's great.
That is exactly what I wanted. I wanted it to be for it to feel good at the end, as opposed to just just stop because of a global pandemic.
Well, sure, that's a good point. And also, as someone who's been there since, I think like the third hot til you ever did. The original pit ones were incredible because they were so new and they were so loose, and it was a variety of people. I mean, you'd have jugglers, you have magicians.
Everything.
We had Burless for a little while until Kristen was like, we're not having Burlesst anymore.
Well, Burless got a moment back in that era in Brooklyn where every bar had a Burless show. And I've told it before, but I went into one and it was a bar man. It wasn't soda, but it was one of those bars over and that neighbor hood, and there's a woman dressed as a drade old who did burlesque to Drado dradl Dredad stripped out of being a Drado And I was like, we have reached the pinnacle of Brooklynism right now.
It's very nice night. That's exciting. But that one.
Yeah, So I always thought original pit and then the Pianos. When it was at Pianos, it was really rocking too. Yeah, comics tough, tough for him to do comics.
I remember we did comics. We had David Cross on and then as the show was ending, a fight broke out at a table between two women. Were like one woman grabbed the other woman by her hair and I think like threw her into the table and it was like insane. It was like right at the end of the show, it was like the craziest thing. And I was like, oh my god, look at this at hot Tub right after David Cross went.
Up, I know, because it was the neighborhood and like a different venue. Wasn't like the bohemian artsy space that the pit and pianos were. And then out here, you guys had that great run at Virgil where we did we ended Splitty in the city won there for anybody, it forgets the Virgil and that was a cool location too. And a lot of those shows when I would show up, if I was ten minutes late, I stood against the back wall.
Some of those shows were packed out.
So I think a lot of comics will come up to you and thank you, because I think you guys were the best show in New York and LA for a really long time. But I'm a huge fan of endings. Ye, like when something ends.
Yeah, So I'm.
Excited for both of you guys, because just there's something so good about putting something to sleep and moving on it.
Really, I really there's an emotion there. There's emotionality, but it's not a sadness. It is a it is an appreciation. Really, that's what I feel like ever having. And then maybe kind of like because when you're going into the unknown of like that's always you know, you're like, will it be okay in the future without this, and it will. It'll just be exactly what it's supposed to be.
I was having a conversation two days ago.
I was watching football with my friend Haley, and we were talking about breakups and we were both like, breakups are great, like and when a relationship ends, it feels horrible, but it always leads to better things. Yeah, And we
were talking about those we all have those friends. And the weird thing is I would have thought I would have aged out of these friends having this experience where it usually starts in high school, but really in like the college years early twenties, where people are like longest relationship we dated for a year. We dated for two years, and then when they break up, they're like, I'm gonna go out there, I'm gonna meet so many people, I'm gonna date so many people.
I'm gonna hook up with so many people I'm gonna.
And then the next person they date, they date for two years or three years, like those people that are just serial monogamous. We were just talking about how many people our lives are, like, you know, this is time for me to find myself. I'm just gonna travel, I'm just gonna do this fun stuff. And then it's like I went on a date with a guy named Troy, and now we're basically engaged, and you're like, what happened.
I'd like the other version of you that was lying to me, and she was saying the same thing, and we were like, yeah, sometimes people talk a big game about how they're gonna become a whole new person. They slide right back into the comfort zone so fast.
I have two friends who had who went through breakups and and we're and all of us were just like, this is dude, this is this is your time. Take time for yourself, Like, go out there, be single for a while.
Smooch everybody be lonely.
It's be lonely.
Great to be lonely.
Both of them, They're like boom immediately boom.
It's such a phenomenon there. I bet the Germans have a word for that, because I want I want a word for that so bad. Like it's the thing where you lie to yourself. Oh, you lie to everyone, and you kind of you half lie to yourself and then you just know the next person who accepts you. You're just going with it. What a world we live in anyway.
Man arrested over more than one thousand home intrus and says this so many Yeah, this was sent in by Reaching the Darkness.
Yeah, they said a lot of good stuff.
Um, thank you Reaching the Darkness. This was in Japan today.
Seems real written by.
Nobody.
Nobody swing in Japan today staff yep.
This is in Fukuoka. Police in the Diesi Fu City, Fukuoka Prefecture have arrested a thirty seven year old man on suspicion of trespassing on the property of a man this week. Sure Police said utah Sugawara, a company employee, has admitted to the allegations, and quoted him as saying, quote, my hobby is trespassing. It's exciting and fun wondering if I'll be spotted. TV Asahi reported. Sugora was arrested on Monday after the property owner saw him in the garden
of his house. He denied Sugiwara as he detained Sugara as he tried to escape while his wife called one one zero. Police said Suguworaro told them he had trespassed on private properties more than one thousand times. He told police the nervous excitement of whether wondering whether or not I'll be found helps relieve my stress.
Well, I bet it.
It's certainly a distraction when you're breaking and entering into somebody's home.
I mean, he's just like and he's not stealing things. He's just like hunting around and he's just like, yeah, yeah, I just do it to relieve stress. It's cool. Don't worry about it, folks.
I mean it seems kind of cool. I guess.
Also, when you live in a country that everybody doesn't have nineteen guns, it's probably a lot easier to take this risk.
Right exactly. And also, I mean I remember as a kid, you know, the construction sites were always a big thing. When construction sites were almost finished and you could still get into them because they hadn't put the doors, they hadn't put the handles on the door frames yet, right, and you could just like it was awesome. And then I was hunting around like a brand new house. Yes, it was so fun and cool. I loved it. I remember, Oh, I don't think I've ever told this story.
Ooh, we got one.
I was so when I was like, I guess I was in eighth grade, so I must have been thirteen. I would every Saturday morning, wake up early and ride my I had a cruiser bike, like a beach cruiser bike, no gears, and I would ride it from my house to spring Lake. So from Neptune to spring Lake probably ten miles, probably take me about an hour, and part of it was along the board walk, which was really pretty,
but it would always be very windy. And then I would go and meet up with my two best friends in eighth grade cool and then we would get on our bikes and we would just ride and go places and trying to like get into trouble, like all day long. And then we would always end up at a pizza place in I think in in Spring Lake. I guess where they had video games and we would eat pizza and play video games and then my mom would pick me up at Like.
That's literally heaven. You're describing heaven, right, You already were there. I was already there, exactly. Heaven is here now, folks, Yes, may the present.
That is literally the theme of a of a Ryan not Ryan Reynolds. Who's the other guy who looks like Ryan Reynolds who wrote Goodwill Hunting with Matt Damon.
Ben a Fleck, Ben a Fleck, Ben a Fleck.
Yeah, I always get Ben Affleck and Ryan Reynolds confused. Ben Affleck wrote a movie. I think it's called Havana. I can't remember the name of it, but that's the theme of it. No one liked everyone shit on this movie. I watch it on a plane, but that's the theme of it, and I really do like that theme. The movie is just fine. And I don't know if it's called Havanah, don't quote me on it. I don't even know who the fuck Ben Affleck is. I call him Ryan Rynolds.
All right, I hope Ben Affleck did write a movie called Havana. And this was the first podcast that's ever spoken about it ever, and if he didn't, what is that Mandela effect or something even better?
It's about him as like a gangster. And part of it takes place in Havana, Cuba. And and I didn't mean to say Cuba, guys, I've meant to say.
You did it too. You meant to say Cuba. You always say Cuba, Gooding Junior.
So then so one day we're riding our bikes and there's an old abandoned hotel that was in Spring Lake and I can't remember what it's called, but it was an Irish name. And uh, and I convince everybody I'm the bad kid. I'm from Neptune, right, Neptune lashk kid. Yeah yeah. Bryan and Jim they had both parents are home like Jim's mom is is like a teacher at our school, you know, good Catholic boys. And I'm like, all right, we're gonna go get on the room for
this abandoned hotel. And I and I so we park our bikes and we just kind of throw them down on the ground and then start crawling up within. I mean, this was what it was like being in New Jersey is such a police state. Within five minutes of being on the roof of this so no one could see us. Cops saw our bikes drive and cops were immediately immediately, there's five cop cars and they're on allowed speaker telling
us to like come down. And of course Brian and Jim are furious at me because this was my idea. I made them do it.
Also, you're a kid that's like in retrospect, you're like, what, they can't do anything to you?
Yeah, right, and then and then they just they just bully you. So like we come down and they just bully us, and then we're like, we're telling your parents and and so then we have to like put our bikes in the cop car that we get put in the back of the cop car, and they just tell Bride's and then they like got busy and like left, So they didn't tell my parents or Jim's parents. And so Bride is the only one who gets.
In trouble, perfect the ones that wanted to do it the least.
Yeah, yeah, what who wanted to do with the least? And he's the only one who got in trouble and and I just rode my bike home.
Yeah there's some oh man. But also you didn't really do everything. I mean, I know it's trespassing, but gives us ship.
It was delightful. It was so much fun. Until that moment it felt like we're finally doing something. Was that the end of that story that guy just Japan today, gets in, gives you not enough facts, and gets out fast.
Yeah, I like them, They're cool. That was like when you and I were in New York and those weekly rags are the daily ones like the Metro not Metro. It was those little newspapers that were like three pages long, and you would be like, well, I only have a fifteen minute ride, so I'm gonna read every word of this highly disposable piece of crap. Yep, here we go. Tiamarie Buran sent this in thank you. You can always send any stories you want to us the Banana Boys at
the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. We have a website bananas podcast dot com if you need all our information, our merch all that kind of crap or the fastest way is dm us Strange news stories to the Bananas Podcast at Instagram, not even at anything, just on Instagram. Yeah, okay, yeah. Man proposes to girlfriend with a piece of cheese next to a dumpster quote. Everything about this day was perfect. This was in People magazine, written by Best in the
Business journalist Brian Anthony Hernandez. You could have been ba Hernandez. That's a tough name, Brian. Think about it for your next article. Nine years ago, on the Georgia Tech campus in Atlanta, first year student maytie Lee Apple Apple asked out her crush Maye Teeley. I'm going to stick to the first name on that one. Apple War asked out her crush Yash Punjabi on a date in the cheesiest way possible by writing it on a piece of cheese.
By writing it on a piece.
She asked them out by writing like will you go out with me? On a piece of cheese, and then handed it to Yash.
Is it a This is a special cheese marker that marks up cheese. I don't know what How do you write it on a piece of cheese?
Meet?
Healey knows no bounds. She's a woman without limits. Eighteen year old me wasn't really thinking of this as my proposal location, so I did it right next to a dumpster. Apple War remembered about the January twenty fifteen moment outside
Smith residence hall. Apple War, an industrial engineering major, and Punjabi, a computer science major, continued dating before they graduated from Georgia Tech, completed their MBAs at Wharton in Philadelphia, and moved to India to start their careers in the industrial packaging industry. These two are crushing life. These are smarty pants lovebirds. If you're a smarty pants love bird, good for you.
Then.
They recently returned to Georgia Tech, where Punjabi surprised apple War with a cheesy and fitting marriage proposal. We did everything we loved doing when we were undergrads, including sneaking into the football stadium, she explained, and at the end of the walk, Yash took me to the same dumpster and asked me to marry him by writing it on a piece of cheese.
That's so great. It's really good. That's like a good, good, thoughtful, especially for like a straight up engineer nerd. You would assume it's just all math up there. That's a very romantic person.
He ran the numbers. We did bubbah bah.
The campus visit was all part of Yash's plan to surprise the love of his life. The Georgia Tech LinkedIn page so you know it's good. You know you're having a great time. If you're following Georgia Tech on LinkedIn. Can you imagine a more fun account than that Georgia Tech LinkedIn page just all Engineers, just cracking wise, alongside a photo of the happy couple posing with the university's yellow jacket mascot, Buzz, who was on hand to witness
the proposal. Okay he pulled out every stop Apple War proclaimed it is every over enthusiastic alum's dream for Buzz to show up for important student events or alumni milestones, and everything about this day was perfect. The walk, our families and friends being there to celebrate after and Buzz showing up. She concluded, So, congratulations you two love birds.
And yeah, I'm confused this to Buzzes.
Okay, Buzzes, they are tech mascot is a yellow jack.
He's a mascot. Thanks.
So it's a giant bee mascot or a yellowjacket mascot. And you know, I guess it's a big deal of Buzz shows up.
I love it.
That's great. That means that this was a this was an event worthy of like a sporting mascot. So he proposes and then there's a giant bee there or is there a giant bee there? And then he proposes.
Well, you know, there wasn't video.
There were photos and they are a very cute couple and they're like smiling so big it's that you could tell they're having day. But I think I think Yash planned the whole thing to have friends, family and buzz the mascot yellowjacket near the dumpster outside of Smith Residence Hall.
Did they?
I will say ba Hernandez didn't mention what kind of cheese it was, which is interesting.
I mean, the only thing I can imagine is like it's a cheese stick and he wrote in marker on the outside of on the plastic wrapper of.
The cheese like draft single, right.
Or a craft single or you know what. They do have those like little it might be from like the the residence hall or whatever, Like they're like little squares of thicker cheese that you can put on crackers that are like like wrapped up in plastic.
Maybe it is I think it was a whole stick of just cracker barrel Havardi, just the whole thing of Havardy.
Just because then you just have to say when do I throw this away?
Yeah?
How long you have to carry a half a pound of Havardi cheese? That in smeary sharpie says, do you want to go out with me?
Why?
Or en?
Question?
Mark? What you do with that is you put it on the dumps dirt, you take a photograph, you print that photograph, you frame it. You throw that.
Cheese right in the trash.
Or you eat it that night.
Yeah, you eat it right away.
That's what I was gonna say to eat it, eat it, get yourself backed up for two weeks and just remember how special that night was.
That's pretty sweet. Though.
Atlanta and Animals did the Varsity close? It's a it was a big restaurant that I loved going to fifteen years ago, but I think it might have closed. And it's right near Georgia Tech. So Atlanta and Animals dm ME did the Varsity close that Kurt. They were famous for their slaw dogs, hot dogs with heaping poles of Coles law on them.
That's why isn't that more common?
They had incredible sides. They had like an orange dreamsickle thing that you would drink. And then all the women that worked there were local Atlanta women who Well, I was about to say, pretended like they hated you, but I think just hated you.
And they would say what you have, what you have? What you have?
When you walked up to them, they would just say what you have, and you'd be like, I'll take two slaw dogs.
And onion rings and an orange dream circle.
And then they would just put their hand out with the amount of money that you needed. And then it was great. They made you feel like shit. The food was delicious, it was a huge drive in walk in.
It was awesome.
Oh that's awesome.
Awesome. I hope the Varsity is still there.
Why not have silly thing that everybody has to like that you say to the people. If you have a place of business, why not instruct everyone to have a an idiosyncratic thing to say to the person when they walk up. I think that's a great idea.
Show me your wallet.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I would say, and then everybody just awkwardly pulls out their wallet. Okay, welcome to Scooties, Home of the signed. Have ardy cheese stick?
Should I tease us into ooh some thumbs?
Yeah.
Most mysterious song on the Internet identified after seventeen years and the band was oblivious to the online phenomenon.
Wow, I wish it's the Oh Holy Night worst cover ever that my family listens to every Christmas, which is still brings a tear to my eye.
Thumbs up.
First of all, Kurti B and I are thumbs up in Kureen Sovie, who is getting a thumbs up from the Banana Boys for creating our Pinterest account. Bananas has a beautiful pinterest sport and Coreen built it and she turned into something amazing. She keeps posting on it. So if you like the Bananas Podcast and you like Pinterest, follow us, have some fun, contribute pin us whatever you do. But thank you thumbs up for going way above and beyond, Coreen.
We appreciate you so much.
Also, she's come to our live shows too, and that's a great great Bananamal great gal. Jimmy is thumbing himself up. Jimmy never enjoyed haircuts, getting them, he means, but recently he's been growing his hair out and cutting it off for organizations like wigs for kids who need them send a photo cut. He had very long hair and that's such a great thing to do. So if you're in the giving spirit this year and you want to do something like that, Google wigs for kids and see if you can donate.
Your luscious locks.
Thumbs up.
Thumbs up to that. This one I just found. I was having a DM exchange with a bananimal, Lucia Hower, who started something called Backpack Buddies when she was nine years old. It's been fifteen years later. They've donated over fourteen hundred backpacks and school supplies to Virginia students. So it was just a kid started a charity fifteen years later, it's still going strong. I noticed the charity and say,
what's the deal? Like, I was like, oh, we'll donate or something, and found out that Lucia, who listens to the podcast, started this years ago. Never brought it up, you know, just doing her thing. But yeah, fourteen hundred backpacks and school supplies for Virginia students. What a nice Jimmy and Lucia, what nice people? Right on, let me see, let's end on a fun one here. This is a fun one. Oh, Kurt, you're gonna love this.
Kelly.
Kelly is thumbing her brother Scott up for being named one of the top rated lawyers in our very favorite magazine. Yes super lawyers love super Lawyers. Scott is a super lawyer in wichitaal so thumbs up to you, Scott Thumb. You top rated Wichita lawyer in the greatest magazine in the universe.
These super lawyer, super Lawyer Our lawyers.
Isn't that so great? And thank you Kelly Good Thanks to everybody who send stuff in.
We appreciate it.
Thumbs up thumb. I got to give it up for the lawyers to name it super Lawyers. Is it's the best name for a magazine. I don't you know. It could have been so many other things. It could have been Lawyers in Profile, it could have been it could have been Lawyer Today or Lawyers Monthly. But super Lawyers is just also do pete. My question is this, This is what I want to know. Do lawyers pick up Super Lawyers and say, let me give this a read or do lawyers who's reading.
Super Lawer they do think only lawyers are mentioned?
Ye?
I already I only think super lawyers. I already think lawyers read super Lawyers. I don't know then who else would be slightly interested in that?
Knowing who's a super lawyer.
There's a magazine in the South. My friend used to have it on our coffee table. That were just all men who didn't pay child support. It was just photos of men who didn't pay child support.
Yeah, yeah, there's a I remember. I think it was in Michigan magazines, full magazines that are just mug shots, just called mug shots, and it's just mug shots.
All right.
You want to hear this article, Scotty.
I would love nothing more in my whole life than to hear this article.
Most mysterious song on the Internet identified after seventeen years. This was in CBS News. This was sent in by Matt Wood.
Thank you, Matt, Thank you mattuh.
CBS News written by ooh.
Who typed this one out beautifully?
Nobody, man, they are.
The Internet these Maybe it was a mistake after.
All, magically appeared on their website.
Yeah.
For the last seventeen years, a worldwide army of online sleuths obsessively tried to figure out the title of what has been dubbed the most Mysterious song on the Internet. Now they have the answer, after a chance discovery by one intrepid researcher who triumphantly reported his breakthrough on online forum Reddit. It is called Subways of your Mind and recorded by a little known nineteen eighties German band called f e x Okay. Former band members are absolutely overwhelmed
by the news. Sixty eight year old Michael Hedrick, who played keyboard and guitar and sank backup vocals for FEX, told Dershpiegel magazine the band had been oblivious to the online phenomenon. How the mystery unfolded. Mystery begins in two thousand and seven when a German brother and sister uploaded a track online that they had digitized after originally recording
it as Teenagers on a cassette from the radio. As a Rolling Stone reported in twenty nineteen, the tape mostly featured songs from popular bands like XTC and The Cure, as well as one particular song that remained a mystery until now. The German siblings asked for help to identify it in audio files soon took up the challenge. The track did not show up in any music databases, but online truths sleuths tried to work out what instrument could
be heard and analyzed the lead singer's accent. Initial attempts to identify the song soon classified by many as being in the nineteen eighties new wave genre yielded little. It was only when the track was uploaded onto Reddit in twenty nineteen that global interest exploded. A Reddit sub forum called the Mysterious Song attracted tens of thousands tens of thousands of members, and the hunt was reported on in
German media and beyond. The big breakthrough finally came earlier this week, when a user called margin one four one do said he had identified the song as Subways of Your Mind. He said he came across former f EX members while researching an event for up and coming bands that had been organized in the nineteen eighties by a public broadcaster in northern Germany.
Wow.
The reddit user wrote that he had reached out to members of what was a four piece outfit from the northern city of Kiel, who sent him a version of the mystery song and revealed its long sought after name. Margin fourteen twelve wrote after I emailed him back that the song is actually quite famous lost song, a famous los song. He asked me not to go public with
it until he spoke to his old band members. In the meantime, though the song did get registered at the German Performance Rights organizations GEMMA and people found out about it, but I'm happy to say that the band members agreed for me to go public with it. Wow, Heydrick is still a musician, he told Derspiegel, and it was the
first time he heard about the massive search effort. I thought it was amazing that someone was interested in music by a band that was only successful regionally, if at all, and that was forty Head.
That's cool. That's a cool to except the reality.
Yeah, to be real about it, be like its regionally successful.
Hey, that's plenty.
Yeah, music seems so hard, Like when you look at the arts, there is a scale of difficulty and music to be successful in the music business feels harder than becoming a movie star in my opinion.
Yeah, it really, it really truly does, because there's just so many amazing bands that I think have they have day jobs of you know, like bands that are like some of my favorite bands. I remember seeing I remember going to Great Jones. It was I think it was just called Great Jones. It was a bar on Great John Street. Yes, and the basis from Pavement work there
in like the mid two thousands. Yeah, Pavement was like the biggest indie band Seminal band from nineteen ninety two until nineteen ninety eight, and by two thousand and two the bassist was a bartender. You know, yeah, that's crazy, sounds good.
I mean, it's a good thing that it is crazy.
When I was when I was in Tihiti a couple of years ago, and we would go to this bar called the Blue Banana. I mean it's a restaurant and it was very fun and very good. But most nights they had a woman singing and she was probably somewhere between eighteen to twenty five.
She was young.
She was a beautiful Polynesian woman who could sing the lights out. And I was sitting there thinking like, yeah, I really hope somebody like the rock or some actual megastar big comes here and goes, we gotta get this person famous. It was it was wild to me that somebody's so talented was just singing at a place called the Blue Banana that serves like seafood and pizza.
And I was like, but.
That's Everybody has a friend or a sibling who can sing incredibly. Everybody is related to somebody is like the best guitarist they've ever heard.
Yeah, when I was living in New Jersey in twenty sixteen, twenty fifteen, twenty sixteen, more I was sick, I would go to Asbury Park and at that time there was a bar on the beach called Asbury Park Yacht Club, which is now a different bar. It doesn't it Asbar Yacht Club does not exist. But this band deal Casino
had a weekly residence. So every week they would play and I just would go there and I was like drinking a lot because my mom was dying and I was like in a bad place, but I would go there and watch them, and I remember just one night just being so drunk, just being like, I gotta get these guys. I gotta get them on the Tonight Show. They gotta be famous to the best band I've ever heard, And they legitimately were an excellent band. And you can
now go the lead singer. He's now a solo artist called Joe P. And he's on Instagram, is doing very well and he's got great songs that you go listen to.
Joe P from that very nice There we Go.
I are our friend, friend of the pod and and also recorded a version of our theme Jesse Peyo pomp Pomps. She and I text each other this same Instagram reel once every couple of weeks, and there.
I mean, I almost get I was cant talk about it.
I laughed so hard. It's a it's a guy who's named Mick Hucknall, and.
I'm just gonna have to post to the stories.
I don't know if any single YouTube video or digital video has.
Ever made me laugh harder.
And you can't understand what he's singing, but it's like a guy singing in the backyard at some just gathering and he gets up there with a lot of confidence, and when he starts singing, it is beyond human comprehension. I've watched the video. I don't know, honestly, I've I needed two hundred times. There hasn't been a single time I haven't laughed.
I mean, I'm laughing. So I'm laughing right now.
Out thinking about Mick huck naw and something about the real like the guy puts, you know, like writing Chiro or whatever on the screen. It's just says to sit back and listen to the smooth sounds of Mick Hucknall, and it's oh my god. I'm gonna post it whenever this week comes out or whenever this episode comes out, I'm gonna post it every day in the stories. It's so bad that I and I watch it and I'm like,
Jesse is a great singer. I'm like, we need to hire a linguist to figure out what lyrics he's singing. Jesse said she's going to do a cover of it. Oh man, it truly makes me cry with laughter every time. It's so bad, weird, it's pure bananas absurd, and the fact that somebody uploaded it to the internet makes me laugh.
The thing that makes me laugh even harder.
Somebody saw it because the world needs to see this. Mick huck No, my god, that gets me. Nere we go see, I'll go to.
Let me see which one I want to do?
Here?
Got quite a few.
Oh, this one's there's an educational one. It is an educational podcast after all. Shosh Kabob sent this in.
Thank you.
That's very nice of you to send it in. This was on CNN dot Com, written by Jocelyn Solis Moreya.
She's good.
She is by far the best over there at CNN. She's best in the beeswax Kurt, Yes, Doctor's Warren, don't sit on the toilet for more than ten minutes.
Exclamation point. Okay, okay, education.
This is actually very good for parents, Yes, because the bathroom is sometimes a refuge for parents.
Well, that's why I liked that Jocelyn's middle or hyphened is Solace right in the middle Jocelyn's Solace morea. You need a moment of solace, and it's nice to have a seat sometimes. And also I like Jocelyn writes in a very Internet casual way. She really is the best in the business. Let's be honest. She says, people have a habit of bringing their phones into the bathroom. Thank you for your honesty. They're joscein Solace morea. I've been guilty of it myself. And chances are that someone is
on the toilet reading this article right now. Chances are somebody's on the toilet listening to this podcast right now. I would prefer if that's the only way people listen to this podcast.
What a relief under ten minutes at a time.
Yeah, ten minutes. It's like, guys, your listenership is growing, You're getting more listens but for way shorter amounts of time. It's easy for a three minute trip to the lou to turn into fifteen minutes of reading, scrolling, and posting. It might seem harmless, a way to pass the time when you're going number two. However, experts warn that what they called prolonged sitting on the toilet can harm your health.
It's even experts call experts call at a number two. However, experts warn that what they call prolonged city.
Sitting out the toilet.
Yeah, they're they're at a very technical name, prolonged sitting.
Prolonged sitting on the tolet.
Citing gets you a prolapsed asshole?
Is that you like?
It's even been connected to an increased risk of hemorrhoids and weaken pelvic muscles. You don't want weak pelvic muscles. You want those pelvic.
Muscles benching to three hundred pounds each.
You want to be able to pick up dice with your butthole.
Yeah, that's right.
When patient oh, doctor LIESU a colorectal surgeon at University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center that's in Dallas, Texas.
All right, I.
Believe we've got to go to Dallas, Texas. We got to do a live show there.
That's will they have.
We have a big listenership there, We've got to do Dallas Fort Worth that seems good to me.
Or I'll set it up.
That's fun. We're coming for you people.
Oh this is what doctor you said when patients present to me with complaints. One of the main areas that we have to delve into is delve into deeply. Is spending too much time on the toilet?
And now that people got bid days is taken days for days? Yeah, exactly, you can be day for day.
Dude, I got it. You just reminded me of a story I've never told in this podcast. On this right, No, got it, people should spend an average of five to ten minutes on the john. According to doctor for Farah Monzer, an assistant Professor of medicine and director of the Inflammatory Ball Disease Center in Stony Brook Medicine, Long Island, New York. What a fun place to drive up to every day? What does their parking garage look like? Not as funny as it should? Why is it a problem if you
stay longer? Well, first, there's a short physics lesson involved. Gravity keeps us grounded to Earth, but the same gravity also forces the body to work harder to pump blood. Back up to the heart. Okay, Oh, the open, oval shaped toilet seat compresses the buttocks. Yeah right, keep trying. Yeah, nothing compresses these buttocks.
Not mine. I got two pillows, that's damn right.
Mine are like two frozen canalos. Back.
There ain't nothing compressing these buttocks keeping the rectum in the lower position than if you're sitting, say on the couch, with gravity pulling the lower half of the body down. That increase pressure affects your blood circulation.
It becomes a.
One wea V valve where blood excuse me, yes we're blood enters, but blood really can't go back up. As a result, the veins and blood vessels surrounding the anus and lower rectum become enlarged and engorged with blood, increasing the risk of hemorrhoids. To avoid spending this is why I think there's this one quote. Oh yeah, I'm coming up to it. There's one thing that when I read this article, like and that's the quote, I needed to
avoid spending too much time on the porcelain throne. Doctor Lance Orodomo and interventional gastro Entrologists at City of Hope, Orange County in Irvine, California, The Golden State. Advise keeping phones, magazines and books out of the bathroom, keeping phones, magazines and books all the bathroom, Doctor Lance, have you.
Lost your mind? Like Kurt needs this alone time? He's never alone.
I really am never alone.
The funniest is you and I are of the age were way before cell phones where you would have those things, where you'd be like, there's no magazine of books anything, So you just start reading the backs of shampoo bottles and soap and.
Yeah, and it was oxy clean, and it was before each The back of every shampoo bottle was like a long story about the founder's journey to finding why they want to make shampoo.
Yeah, that all feels like AI wrote that back then or breaks it now, but it just feels like this is absolute blowny. So doctor Lance Orodomo, the biggest bummer in the bathroom ever, says, you don't want to go with the mindset that you're going to be there for a long time, because you're going to want to bring something to keep your mind occupied. He said, this is the end quote of this article makes sitting on the toilet as uninteresting as possible.
Here's here's I love that quote.
Here's the way to do it, I think, and it's happened to me a couple times. We go into a bathroom someone's house, rarely at someone's house, usually an establishment, and there's a floor to ceiling mirror facing you, so then you have to look at yourself on the toilet. Yes, that'll make you get up a s a p.
It is humiliate yourself.
Taking a dump is the most so vulnerable, vulnerable, humiliating experience. It's like, why are we forcing there's like the only like people want to watch themselves have sex. They don't want to watch themselves defecate, do you know? Yeah, just put one of those in every in everyone.
Then we're gonna that's what you're into when you're having sex.
And you know, we're not gonna judge if your adults and your consenting do whatever weird thing in front of the mirror you want to, we don't judge. The first time I ever used a bidet, you mentioned bedets, it was a Japanese toilet, but it was in Paris, France. So I go into this bathroom. Never see a Japanese toilet, heated seats, the I mean this thing out to work remote control on the wall.
Yeah, sit down.
I'm uh with a lady friend, not in the bathroom but in the hotel, and I am like pushing all the buttons, which is what you would do, and you know, one spraise air freshener. One does something I can't see, and then I'm like, I wonder which one's the bed day And so then I push this one button and the biddet starts and it is a kill shop.
It is a direct hit.
And I'm assuming that it runs for you know, ten seconds, fifteen seconds, and.
It keeps going yeah, and it is fired.
I cannot find the off button on this thing to save my life because it's a Toto that company. It's written in Japanese. I'm hitting all the buttons. Lights are coming on. I wish it wasn't. Yeah, exactly, I wish that, but that wasn't the case. But everything happening behind it's flushing, but that be they is still going. And the problem is the bday is so powerful that I know that if I stand up, it's going to just shoot into
the room, shoot me, soak everything. So I am like and then I'm like, can I unplug this whole toilet?
Like is there?
And you can, but it's built to the wall, so I can't and I'm pushing every button combo I possibly can, and now time's going.
So I just went in.
There for a quick pee to like hit the road, and now I've been there so long trying to figure this out. That poor person was probably like this gentleman is destroying this hotel's plumbing system, right, And I'm and I'm like, can I stand up quick enough and close the seat where it won't spray me? And then I can figure it out later, or then I can go explain myself. And finally I pushed like this thing in
the upper right corner that was just a bar. It looked like just it didn't have a depth, it did wasn't round. It was just a little like minus sign line. And I'm like God, and I push that and it just powers down and goes back into the toilet and I got out of there, and I'm like, next, but also, how did you know? And like it was the best case scenario is that I was sitting and blocking the toilet. I wasn't just standing next to it.
Oh yeah, pressing buttons to see what was all about?
Yeah, with the speech before the wedding written in a sloppy ink, but yeah it was. It made me look like absolutely sane. And then meanwhile, I'm sitting there just getting blasted for a full five minutes, full throttle, right to where the.
Sun occasionally shines. And that's that.
That's a teachable moment, pushed a little subtraction line.
And that's how you end Bananas with a bidet with a NonStop baday. May your day be like a NonStop bday, folks, just delightful and refreshing.
Yeah, I liked that NonStop the day today, this has been bananas.
A double whammy on that one.
Yeah, Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstart
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern