Ballot with Patrick Gutfield - Fun Politics. Late-Night Energy. - podcast cover

Ballot with Patrick Gutfield - Fun Politics. Late-Night Energy.

Political Humor Today's News / Caloroga Shark Mediawww.podpage.com
Current events and news, but sassy.

In the spirit of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart, John Oliver, Trevor Noah and even those Pod Save America guys, we’ll strip away the political jargon and dive into the heart of the action, offering a fresh, sassy take on the biggest stories and controversies. Come by for a laugh, and get just enough information to keep you conversational at the water cooler. Portions of this podcast were created with the assistance of AI, Like with any good show, we mix the news with parody and talk abput politics without getting into the poltiics part.


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Episodes

AI Clones Marco Rubio, Noem’s Cowgirl Portraits, and the New COVID Variant XFG

An AI voice clone impersonating Secretary of State Marco Rubio fooled foreign ministers and a member of Congress—proving even top officials can't trust their own voicemail anymore. Meanwhile, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem is crowdsourcing her official portrait on Instagram… dressed as a cowgirl. And just in time for summer travel, say hello to a new COVID variant: XFG. It’s spreading fast, but should we panic?

Jul 09, 202516 min

Epstein “Client List” Doesn’t Exist, Ted Cruz’s Greek Timing, and TSA's Quiet Shoe Policy Shift

The Justice Department says there is no Epstein “client list,” despite years of speculation—so what was Pam Bondi waving around on Fox News? Meanwhile, Ted Cruz is caught vacationing in Greece while deadly floods devastate Texas. His office says he came back “as fast as humanly possible,” which apparently means “after dessert.” And finally, good news: the TSA might be letting us keep our shoes on—but what does that mean for TSA PreCheck?

Jul 08, 202516 min

Hero Faces Deportation, Penn Rewrites History, and New York’s ATM Crime Wave

A construction worker who saved a 9-year-old from a shark attack is now facing deportation—because heroism has paperwork. Penn reverses course on Lia Thomas, wiping her name from the school’s swimming records after a Title IX investigation. And in New York, thieves are skipping wallets and just stealing the entire ATM. Yes, the whole thing. Like a heist movie written by someone who failed economics and physics. Get the show without ads. Five bucks. For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple P...

Jul 07, 202514 min

Trump vs. Zohran, Elon vs. Reality, and the Dalai Lama vs. China

President Trump is now threatening to arrest New York’s Democratic mayoral nominee Zohran Mamdani—who is, let’s be clear, a U.S. citizen—for not helping ICE. Elon Musk, meanwhile, is threatening to start his own political party because Republicans aren't slashing spending fast enough. And the Dalai Lama is trying to reincarnate before China picks a clone. It’s just another day in American politics… and Buddhist succession drama. Get the show without ads. Five bucks. For Apple users, hit the bann...

Jul 03, 20256 min

Thunderstorms, Tax Cuts, and “Freak Offs”: Congress and Diddy Both Face Judgment Day

House Republicans are trying to pass the “One Big Beautiful Bill” before the July 4th deadline—except Mother Nature has other plans. Thunderstorms have grounded flights and turned Capitol Hill into a carpool lane of desperate lawmakers speeding through the rain to cast trillion-dollar votes. Meanwhile, Sean “Diddy” Combs gets emotional as jurors deadlock on the racketeering charge but deliver verdicts on four others in his sex trafficking trial. It’s like if Fast & Furious and Eyes Wide Shut...

Jul 02, 202510 min

Disney Sports Bra Controversy, Treasury Kills the Penny, Lincoln Artifacts Auction

A Disney World visitor gets kicked off a ride for wearing a sports bra and forced to buy a forty-five dollar tank top, the Treasury Department finally pulls the plug on the penny after losing millions, and the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Foundation auctions off historic artifacts including bloodstained gloves.

Jun 30, 20257 min

Trump Embraces "Daddy" Nickname at NATO While Firing Insults at NY Candidate and Sparring with Iran

Donald Trump leaned into the “Daddy” nickname after NATO’s Mark Rutte dropped it at a summit—then used his social media to attack NYC’s Democratic mayoral nominee as a “Communist Lunatic.” Meanwhile, Iran’s Supreme Leader claimed victory after a missile strike, despite U.S. reports of severe damage. From awkward nicknames to international drama, Trump stayed busy... even on a summer Saturday night.

Jun 27, 20256 min

The Joe Rogan Experience with Bernie Sanders recap, Trump’s Iran Strikes and the MAGA Civil War

Joe Rogan’s sit-down with Senator Bernie Sanders blows the lid off a brewing civil war in MAGA world. The pair dig into Congressman Thomas Massie’s “unconstitutional” critique of Trump’s Iran strikes, Trump’s retaliation PAC, and the Streisand-effect backlash from right-wing stars like Steve Bannon, Tucker Carlson, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Alex Jones, and Candace Owens. Rogan also calls out deportation raids and Trump’s shaky “Complete and Total CEASEFIRE,” revealing how voters who wanted “no mor...

Jun 25, 20258 min

Trump’s 12-Hour Israel-Iran Ceasefire & Florida’s Alligator Alcatraz

Patrick Gutfield skewers the surreal headlines of the day, starting with Donald Trump’s all-caps declaration of a “COMPLETE and TOTAL” 12-hour Israel-Iran ceasefire—an overnight timeout that feels more like a homework deadline than real diplomacy. From Truth Social theatrics to Iran’s pre-announced missile “warning shot” at a U.S. base in Qatar, Patrick dissects every eyebrow-raising detail and asks whether a subscription-style truce can really end decades of tension.Then it’s off to the Evergla...

Jun 24, 20257 min

Trump Iran Hack Job: Trump’s Iran Strike Triggers Cyber Panic, Nobel Bragging, and a History Do-Over

Patrick Gutfield tackles today’s triple-header of controversy: DHS and security pros warn Iranian hackers could retaliate for Trump’s “massive precision strikes,” the former president demands credit for four-or-five Nobel Peace Prizes on Truth Social, and a new directive orders National Parks to spin slavery, internment camps, and Jim Crow into feel-good patriotism—complete with QR-code snitch lines. From proxy-war cyber fears to a “sunny” rewrite of the Trail of Tears, Patrick serves up sharp s...

Jun 23, 20257 min

U.S. Enters Israel-Iran War: Trump Drops 30,000-Pound Bunker Busters on Three Nuclear Sites

Patrick Gutfield pulls a weekend late-nighter to share commentary on President Trump's shocking decision to bomb three Iranian nuclear facilities with 30,000-pound bunker-buster bombs. From Truth Social announcements to congressional outrage, we break down the biggest international news story with sharp wit and political satire. Covering the Fordo facility strikes, oil price impacts, American troop safety, and what this means for Middle East tensions.

Jun 22, 20258 min

Golden Thumbs, Blitz Weddings, and TikTok Visas: What Just Happened T

A provocative golden statue crushes Lady Liberty on the National Mall and draws crowds—and fire. Netanyahu compares his son's postponed wedding to the London Blitz, and the internet explodes. Meanwhile, foreign students must now share their social media to get U.S. visas. Get the show without ads. Five bucks. For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app which says UNINTERRUPTED LISTENING. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus ....

Jun 20, 20256 min

Pizza Predicts Airstrikes, Biden Wanders onto Reacher Set, and Trump Mobile Drops the Call

Israel launches major strikes on Iran—and somehow, we knew it was coming thanks to a spike in Pentagon-area pizza orders. Patrick Gutfield breaks down the so-called *Pentagon Pizza Report*, the long-standing theory that pizza deliveries reveal military ops. Meanwhile, President Biden accidentally stumbles onto the set of *Reacher*, discusses quantum physics, and apparently beats Jack Reacher in arm wrestling. And Trump Mobile is here—kind of. The Trump family’s new wireless service charges you u...

Jun 19, 20257 min

Trump Taunts Iran, Israel Preps Strikes, RFK Jr. Snaps the Vaccine Panel – Oh, and It’s 110 Degrees

President Trump raises tensions with Iran, calling its Supreme Leader an "easy target" while Israel warns Tehran residents to evacuate. Meanwhile, a dangerous heat dome threatens over 170 million Americans with record-breaking humidity and extreme temperatures. And in Washington, RFK Jr. fires all 17 members of the federal vaccine advisory committee, prompting backlash from the scientific community. To become a premium subscriber (no ads and no feed drops) visit caloroga.com/plus.For Apple users...

Jun 18, 20257 min

Trump Warns Tehran, Hints at War, and Launches a Cell Phone?

President Trump cuts his G7 trip short to issue a dramatic evacuation warning to Tehran, escalating tensions with Iran amid rising hostilities with Israel. As nuclear threats loom and generals fall at record pace, Trump says he’s “not in the mood to negotiate”—but also floats backchannel talks. Meanwhile, he launches Trump Mobile with the $499 “T-One” phone and a $47.45/month plan referencing his presidential number. Yes, we’re juggling war, telecoms, and nuclear diplomacy… all in one episode. T...

Jun 17, 20259 min

Trump Warns Tehran, Hints at War, and Launches a Cell Phone?

President Trump cuts his G7 trip short to issue a dramatic evacuation warning to Tehran, escalating tensions with Iran amid rising hostilities with Israel. As nuclear threats loom and generals fall at record pace, Trump says he’s “not in the mood to negotiate”—but also floats backchannel talks. Meanwhile, he launches Trump Mobile with the $499 “T-One” phone and a $47.45/month plan referencing his presidential number. Yes, we’re juggling war, telecoms, and nuclear diplomacy… all in one episode. T...

Jun 17, 20251 min

Trump Wants More Babies, China Wants Fewer Chatbots

Patrick Gutfield unpacks America’s "fertility crisis" as Trump declares himself the “Fertilization President” and floats a $1,000 baby bonus—because diapers apparently cost three bucks? Meanwhile, JD Vance thinks cat ladies shouldn’t vote, and Trump’s solution to low birth rates is… less immigration. Across the globe, China is locking down AI tools like Tencent and ByteDance during the gaokao exam to stop students from cheating. Steel-reinforced rooms, fingerprint heists, drones, and pantsless t...

Jun 16, 202510 min

No Kings : Anti-Trump Protests Sweep U.S. as Trump Throws Himself a Military Parade

On Trump's 79th birthday, thousands protested across all 50 states under the banner "No Kings"—while Trump marked the day with tanks, robot dogs, and a full-blown military parade. Patrick Gutfield breaks down the tear gas, the fireworks, the Vanilla Ice references, and the presidential ego trip that had all of Washington shaking.

Jun 15, 20257 min

Introducing - Operation Rising Lion

Operation Rising Lion is the untold story of one of history's most audacious intelligence campaigns, narrated by the man who lived it.Marcus Cole spent twenty years coordinating Mossad's most sensitive operations. Now, at 52, he's ready to tell the story that's haunted him for seven years—how a midnight heist in Tehran sparked a shadow war that prevented nuclear catastrophe and cost him everything he had left to lose. Follow Operation Rising Lion on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your shows....

Jun 14, 20252 min

Trump’s Bulldozers, Birthday Parade, and Confederate Base Names: A Week of Chaos

President Trump contiunyes a dizzying week by paving over the Rose Garden—for high heels' sake—while launching personal flagpoles, gold Oval Office updates, and a ballroom “compliments of a man known as Donald J. Trump.” Meanwhile, he's prepping a massive birthday military parade to outshine the Pope, proposing to shut down FEMA duringhurricane season, and bringing back Confederate base names—sort of. It’s a whirlwind of bulldozers, branding, and baffling priorities.

Jun 13, 202511 min

Trump Military Parade June 14: Route, Time, Security, Cost & What Really Happened Behind the Scenes

Everything you need to know about Trump's June 14 military parade in Washington DC. Get the inside details on the $45 million cost, 18 miles of security fencing, parade route from 23rd to 15th Street, how 120 chairs became 28 tanks, and why the Army's 250th birthday celebration requires inauguration-level security. Plus: the real timeline of how this event grew from Biden-era planning to Trump's massive birthday spectacle.

Jun 12, 202510 min

Newsom vs. Trump, LA Protests, and That Awful Trump Golf Club Health Score

Governor Gavin Newsom sues Trump over military deployments in LA as protests over immigration heat up. Trump fires back, suggesting Newsom should be arrested. Meanwhile, JD Vance plays peacemaker between Trump and Elon Musk, Marines wait in Seal Beach, and Gavin maybe kicks off his 2028 campaign a little early. Plus, a deep dive into the horrifying health inspection score at Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster—because nothing says "presidential" like expired milk and no soap.

Jun 11, 20258 min

Marines, Mayhem & Dr. Phil: Trump’s LA Showdown Gets Wild

Marines in LA? Dr. Phil on ICE raids? Trump and Elon in a billionaire brawl that’s nuking Tesla’s stock? Oh, and gas stations now serve pizza better than your local pizzeria. In today’s episode, we break down the chaos: President Trump sends 700 Marines to Los Angeles, Gavin Newsom tells him to bring it on, and somehow Dr. Phil gets involved. Meanwhile, Elon Musk and Trump are in a full-on feud that has Vice President JD Vance nervously playing referee as Tesla’s value nosedives. And if that was...

Jun 10, 20257 min

LA Protests Explained: Why Newsom Is Suing Trump Over National Guard Deployment (Plus: TSA Bans Costco Cards as ID)

Breaking down the Los Angeles immigration protests that turned violent, Governor Gavin Newsom's lawsuit against Trump's unauthorized National Guard deployment, and the bizarre TSA announcement that Costco membership cards don't count as valid travel ID. From downtown LA clashes to constitutional law battles, here's what's really happening in California's standoff with the federal government - plus why your bulk shopping privileges won't get you through airport security.

Jun 09, 20258 min

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Jun 07, 20252 min

Elon Musk vs. Donald Trump !! They Go Nuclear: Space Threats, Epstein Files Bombs, and $150 Billion Vanished

The bromance is dead, the knives are out, and four astronauts might be collateral damage. Donald Trump and Elon Musk just had the most expensive Twitter spat in history—complete with threats to cancel government contracts, wipe out Tesla’s market cap, and even strand astronauts in space. Elon dragged Epstein files into it. Trump threatened deportation. Stephen Bannon is sharpening pitchforks. And Kanye? Well, he's begging for a ceasefire. Strap in—this episode has everything: ego, drama, market ...

Jun 05, 202513 min

North Korea’s Judgmental Phone, Trump’s Portrait Glow-Up, and Meghan vs. Pineapple

From North Korea, where our show is now apparently the state-sponsored podcast of choice, this is Ballot. We’re diving into Kim Jong Un’s latest tech paranoia: a smartphone that autocorrects your slang to propaganda and takes screenshots for the government every five minutes. Big Brother just updated his OS.Then: Trump gives himself a portrait do-over because his first one made him look like a Bond villain. Now it's soft lighting and a red tie—but don’t worry, the mugshot still hangs in the Oval...

Jun 05, 20258 min

Saharan Dust Clouds, Diddy Drama, and the World’s Dumbest License Plate

From Washington, D.C., where apparently we're all amateur meteorologists now, this is Ballot. Today we talk about the massive Saharan dust cloud blanketing the Caribbean like it booked a long weekend on JetBlue, and how it's dimming the sun, irritating lungs, and reminding Florida that yes, weather can be worse.Then: Trump flirts with the idea of pardoning Diddy—yes, that Diddy—and 50 Cent jumps in to block it like it's the BET Awards beef bracket. Meanwhile, in Florida, a sheriff’s deputy thoug...

Jun 04, 20259 min
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