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Well, first of all, welcome back, fancy B from eththpanya. Second of all, my agent's comment, you're not doing it. And I go, what? What? The zombie movie movie. And I go, I have to do it. You cannot do it. I've never seen my agents call me and just beg me not to do a movie. Did they read the script? Yeah, they let the script. They saw the no money. That's pain. Right. A lot of things layered. Yeah, there's not really a lot of a incentive to do it.
I read it on the plane, and that's why I had a medical emergency because I was reading. I'm doing it anyway. I know. I love you. So I get a text message. I get a text message from Jesse, our old friend, Jetsky, right? It says, oh my God, I can share the photo. Oh my God. I'm on a plane in Andrew Santino just overdosed. Okay. I know. But okay, not just that. Yeah. I get a call from TMZ. They called my agents. Yeah. Right. And
TMZ is like, you see, you see a live? You didn't answer the, did you answer the phone? Yeah, yeah. What are you? Why are you answering the phone? I go, who's alive? Yeah, who's alive? Your boy, we heard drugs and this, I go, it's crazy. No, what? No, right. It was diarrhea. I was, it was diarrhea. Yeah. Yeah. It was diarrhea. Well, what's the pain in the plane, though? Kills people every year, which kills a lot of people, 55,000 people in first world countries.
By the way, 200,000 globally. It was diarrhea. Kill you. What a dehydration. You can know, dude, I drink water while I'm doing diarrhea. Well, do it. Replay this right then. 1.5 million people die from diarrhea. In 2019, that's so many. So here's what really happened. I didn't overdose. And also we apologized already to the fans of Abu Dhabi. I was advising. Oh my gosh. I'm sorry. We couldn't go. So, so I was sick in Nashville, right? Saturday.
I didn't feel that good. Saturday, late show. Okay. No booze, no nothing, nothing. Just eat a meal, not feeling right. Go to bed. Sunday morning, I wake up. Back up, back up. Yeah. What's the feeling? How do I start? What's the beginning of it? No, no. What I'm saying is that I'm not feeling right. I want to be specific because I want to know if I have those symptoms. What to do? Okay. So, I'll tell you what not to do. Don't get on a flight.
All right. Juicy Farts. No, it's not Farts yet. Okay. So what started as nausea, up high, high in my throat, and then fogginess. Oh my. So on the second show on Saturday night, I felt like the set was good, but you know when you're there, but you're like, I'm on autopilot. I was on autopilot. I was just kind of doing the jokes, but I was like, I feel so weird. I go back to the hotel that night. I sit in bed, can't go to sleep. Super nauseous. I go
to the bathroom, take a shower, come out real nauseous, achy, strange. Go to sleep. Sunday morning, I wake up to go golfing with court McCown. The whole morning, I feel like I'm going to throw up the whole time. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I feel woozy and out of it. I'm eating and drinking. You know, I'm having like healthy stuff. Nothing crazy. And then Sunday night, I get back to the hotel. I call Lucian Nashville Zainis. And I
said, something's wrong. I don't even know if I could do the shows. Like I feel awful. I do a Sunday show. I did two Sunday shows for the fans, baby. Okay. So I get, she says, I'll get you an IV. She calls Nate Bargazzi sister, who is an angel who came through with her friend who does mobile IVs. Are they hot? In between shows, none of your business. Don't say that. That's our friend's sister. Oh, no, just not Nate's sister, not the
other one. The girl who administer the IV. Yeah. Okay, just move on. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So then I get the IV in between the shows. Yeah. It's not working. Like I get a boost of energy for the second show. Can I tell you? But I feel dog shit. I'm sweating. I'm vibrating. Can you interject something? Yeah. I know it's your story. I want to interject. Like I'm, yeah, it's not funny. What I'm about to say is not good. No, mine has not been
funny. I love it though. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. It's very interesting. Yeah. I knew someone was wrong because you called me on stage. I did. Yeah. And usually when he calls me on stage, it's what's up? Uh huh. I'm doing a show this time. He's on stage. There's a crowd behind him. He's like, Hey, and so in my mind, I'm like, Oh, he's not doing a show. I was calling me off. I was so out of it. He was out. I was there was something wrong.
But I'll tell you why there was a weird omen in the air. A guy. Oh shit. Damien was there. Damien was there. Oh, she's dangling. Six six. Dangling his penis fingers all over the crowd. Woo. That's not Damien. That's not. Oh, that's Casper. Up in the balcony of Zainey's in the middle of my show, no. A guy passes out. Medical emergency, medical emergency. How
weird is that second show for a show? Second show. Oh, no. Medical emergency. They're yelling and our good buddy, great, great musician, Noah Khan came with his, we've never heard of him. Really? One of the biggest musicians right now. You don't know who Noah Khan is. He's fucking massive. Is the shocker Khan's brother? Yes. It's shocker's younger brother. Yeah. He's the man. Oh, I love Noah Khan. He's the fucking man. Anyway, in the middle of
the show, medical emergency, we stop the show. I think somebody's dying or having a stroke or a heart attack or something bad. We get through that. I feel like I might have a stroke or a heart attack. So it's already this weird, old man energy. I go back to the hotel that night, feeling not good all night long. Poo, poo, poo, poo, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, not good. In that order, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu,
pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, yes. Okay. Exactly. Can I ask another question? Please. What is the right ratio in terms of puke diaria? It's two to one poop to puke. Two to one. Diaria always wins. It always wins. It always wins. They're like the Manchester City of whatever that is. They always win. Yeah. My puke was arsenal on this one. I'm sorry. So anyway, I go to bed, sweating, sweat through the, your body
sweating it off. Oh, buddy, big time. Yeah. I wake up the next morning and I said, get room service, get on the plane and go home. Just go home. I get room service. I eat a bite of a waffle. Right back out. Wow. One bite of a waffle. A berry smoothie. I figured I can't eat salads. I'm just going to chug a smoothie. I chug the smoothie. Everywhere. Oh, so your poo was purr, what right through? Like on PowerWalk. It was unreal. I get to
the airport. I'm woozy, goosey. People are passing me like, my friends and I'm just like, hey, man, I'm out of it. Wow. I sit down. This is an insane story. I sit down on the plane. I know this one. And I look to my left. There's a bag on my seat. It's like a from somebody bought stuff from one of the shops. And I go, who's bag is this man? Is this anybody's bag that come tired? Yeah. You know, it's right behind me. It's MGK and
Megan Fox. That's right. I don't even see him. I didn't even see him. I swear to God. I'm so out of it. I literally didn't see the guy. And he goes, yo, you're the comedian? Santino. Yeah. Right away. And I go, what's up? He goes, yo, you're the shit. So now I'm sick. I'm like sick. Touched him. Yeah. I gave him a dip. Right now, MVP. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Megan Fox. Is everything okay? Yeah. So MGK is behind me. So now I have to
turn. You know, when you're like talking to someone behind you, you got to like do the some sitting on the side because I want to be cool and talk to him. But I can't tell him like, Hey, dude, I'm so fucking I feel so sick right now. So we're just sharing comment. He's a huge comedy fan. Love you, which is annoying as fuck. Is a fan of the show like all like name not all of our friends. We were talking about Tim Robinson show.
I think you should leave. We're just cracking up sharing stories. It was great. Then finally, I turned back around the flight starts. And in the middle of the flight, I put on my headphones, right? The shout out to Phoenix stand up live gave me the Apple over their earbeats. Okay. As a gift. Anyway, selling out all the shows. Okay. So they're way way way look at this kind of stuff for a second. Did they give you a gift? Did they give you
a gift? I sold it every show too. Yeah. Did you get anything? Did you get a gift? They gave you what? Apple beats over the ear headphones. Okay. After your story, I'm calling the owner of the club. Yeah, do it. And I have a fucking issue. How much are they? 500 bucks? Yeah. It was a nice gift. They gave you Apple beats. Yeah. Then apply the one I sold up to. Yeah, same one. Okay. Note that. Go ahead. I'm mad. Go ahead.
It's good to be back. Yeah. It's good to be back. So then I put on my headphones and I lay down to go to sleep. I miss the like the flight attendant coming by to like see if I'm wanting to eat or drink. I'm out. I'm cold. I'm out cold. Right? Then my body does this. One of those. Oh, and I'm like, I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna fucking throw up. I fucking it. Dude, I get up so fast. My seatbelt. Still on right back in the seat. Nobody saw. Thank
God. Was it like when rumor I sat next to you? I'd die. Same thing. Same thing. Same feeling. They're done that. This guy. Yeah. I get up. I ripped the seatbelt off. She can kind of tell something's up. She's way she looked at me. I can Fox. No. Megan Fox is paying no attention to my loser ass. Just a little bit. They're behind me. Huh? Is she hot? Pretty is Megan Fox hot? I can't move on. Yeah. Fucking what the fuck are we
talking already? Already? Already? Stunning. Yeah. What do you? Yeah, dude. She could have been covered in shit in my shit. And I still don't like gorgeous. Yeah. I fucking run to the bathroom. I bust in the door and I'm real dizzy because my blood pressure must be super low because I'm sick and I haven't eaten anything. So I closed the toilet seat and I sit down on it because I'm going to throw up in the sink to the right of me
or to the left of me, you know, because I can't even stand up. I'm so weak. And then I get really woozy. And then you know, you hear the fucking the TV noise. You passed out. I fainted. I passed out hard and I woke up. I was on the floor of the bathroom at that point, which my nightmare, my nightmare. Yeah. P all, you know, I wake up sitting on the floor of the bathroom to the flight attendant going, sir, sir, sir. And it's kind of like
muffled. I can't really hear it. How did they open it? And I hear no, no, the door was oh, I'm sorry, I'm skipping a step. When I sat down on the seat, I opened the door and I said, can I get a cold towel? And she goes, sir, we're not supposed to get up right now because the seatbelt sign was on. Yeah. And I said, can I get a cold towel around my neck? And then the door was open at that point. I didn't close it. Thank God. And then
you passed out. And then I must have fainted. You passed down? No, dude, I was fully clothed. I was going to throw up. I was about to throw up. So then I pulled them down after I woke up. And they were giving me metalic attention. So I wake up. I'm sitting on the floor of the bathroom and I hear her like shaking me, sir, sir, sir. And then I
hear another one going, do we have a doctor? Do we have a doctor on the plane? And I'm kind of coming too, but I can't really come too because I'm like, I feel myself like mumbling. There is. Yeah. So embarrassing. And I look down to my right and I have throw up everywhere. I've thrown up all over myself. Like the amount of throw up is hilarious. It's like a, it's like a, like a Nickelodeon show. It was like, ah, ah, they turn on a faucet.
And she's trying to help me. And then this guy shows up who's a doctor. Those are some kind of trust. But he was a doctor. And he's a psychiatrist. But he was a doctor. He was a doctor. But he was trying to help me out. And she was talking to me and they were making me chug apple juice. And they were trying to recount what happened. And then he was like, did you take drugs or did somebody drug you? And I was like, no, no, no, no.
I'm sick. Something's wrong. I have like a bug. He gives me Narcan. Narcan for people that are fucking having like an OD opioid. Opioid. Opioid. A OD shoves it up my nose. And he's like, brace. And I was like, I don't know if I'm comfortable with Narcan. And then it gets up my fucking shoes. Narcan on us on them. They gave him the first aid kit. It has Narcan. I be back. He was his hat. I'm gonna know his pocket. No, I'm eight of them.
Yeah. Yeah. I can spare one. So they goose me with fucking Narcan. He stabs me to give me an IV. But the bag's not working because my positioning's weird. Imagine if you had the stuff when we were in Batman, the the Batman, yeah, at the end when he was finding the riddler and his arm. Right. And he pulls out that green thing. Anyway. I'm trying to lean. I did. So he Narcans me hit me with an IV. The IV Brit. My vein fucking sever. So
the thing is my arms all bruised blood squirting every blood is all over the place. I'm sitting in piss. I'm sitting in piss and puke. Not my piss. Just airplane toilet bathroom piss. Oh, yeah. It could be good piss. I doubt it. You don't know who's pissing this down. I doubt it. Okay. Yeah. If it was Megan Foxes. Yeah. If it was Megan Fox. If it was Megan Foxes piss, it would have been fine. Yeah. Yeah. I would have taken some home. Can I get a
cut to go cut? So I'm sitting in piss and puke all over me. And then MGK comes walking up. Oh, here we go. This is how cool of a guy this guy is. I'm so embarrassed. I'm sitting there. I'm slunched in a fucking in the airport bathroom. Oh my God. In the airplane bathroom. And he goes, you Andrew, you okay? Do you want some apple juice or orange juice? And he's got like both like he bought it from the store. And I go, I'm literally like my neck is
framed against the and I go, thanks MGK. Very nice to do man. It's so good. I'm framed against the sink. I'm tucked against the sink. And he goes, okay, bro. And then he walks away in the flight attendants like, do you want your phone? Do you want to call somebody? Because I'm kind of like, they're giving me oxygen because my blood left my oxygen level super low because I passed out. Wow. They take my vitals and she goes, does he know
your family? And I go, we just met. She goes, you guys seem like close friends. And I was like, you know, he, he's just being very nice. Well, yeah. No, so then he comes back like five minutes later. They've got me hooked up to an oxygen tank to level my, to get my levels right. And he's got this sweater in his hand. This is his sweater. This is MGK sweater. He's got a bald up in his hand. And he sees that I'm soiled. And he, and he goes,
yo, do you want my sweater? Because I'd taken my sweater off because they were like, take your sweater off. We need to like get, you know, we need to be able to take your blood pressure. So I take, I take my sweater off. He can tell I'm in like a shitty old bed, you know, like a night shirt or something. And he goes, do you want my sweater? And I said, no, dude, I'm going to get, it's got, I have puke and fucking, and he goes, I don't give a fuck.
And he throws it to me and he goes, keep that shit, dude. I don't give a fuck. He's like, he's like, get warm. And I almost started crying. I was like, MGK, like, like, he threw it to a kid in the children's hospital. Thanks, MGK. So he gave me sweater, like a fucking prince. He hasn't even washed it. Why would I wash this? I didn't get anything on it. It smells so bad. Anyway, no, I, we wash it when I got home. Yeah, I did. Well, I did.
So this was worse than the earthquake concussion and the bathroom. Oh my God. Dude, I'm telling you, I'm gonna get it right now. That was a good one. Pretty close. That was a zing. So then, that was very, very provocative. So I'll finish it. Okay. I get up on them, and they're, like, can you sit in your seat? At this point, I'm fine. Yeah, I can sit in my seat. I'm busy. I'm texting my fucking wife. I'm like, you need to pick me up. I cancel my car
because I was like, I can't ride in a car. Because I'm still fucked up. I get back in my seat. I turned to MGK and I just go, sorry, man. Thank you. You're a real one. He goes, I'm just glad that you're good. And I was like, thanks. And then I just couldn't look at any I just didn't want to look at anybody. I was so embarrassed, you know, and I get off the plane or I we both we and then they say everyone has to stop so the EMTs can come get me. I said,
for my own embarrassment, can I just get off the plane? I can walk. I'll meet them in the jet bridge. If you can want, yeah, I grab my shit, I sprint up the jet bridge. I throw this hoodie over my head and I sit in the corner as far as I can let the fucking paramedics do my vitals and take care because they have to check you out when you land. They're doing the vitals. I'm texting. I'm getting bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, text. Are you dead? Did you OD? You're dead. Are you dead?
Are you dead? Yeah, people were hit. Someone texted from the flight Jesse and Carlos and said, Santino OD on my plane. They said they were saying I fucking overdosed on the flight. Oh, they don't have the information. Then TMZ is calling my agents. You I pick up why? I love them. No. They're my friends. They want to know what's going on. Of course I get my wife picks me up. We make it at 5.30 pm. We're sitting in rush hour traffic. Holy shit. And I'm shaking in the front seat
because I can't hold it in. We get to my fucking front lawn. My hand to God. I held out. The moment I open the car door, my neighbor just like, hey, Andrew. Clipping his fucking head. I project out of my dog and we know, I'm holding my asshole. Oh shit. And for the next four days, I know I lost nine pounds. Yeah, I was on the toilet spray. I'm not at my butt. I've never had this kind of it was water every time I sat water. I had to go to the fucking doctor twice. I know because I
was like, dude, something's wrong. Bro, and then my doctor was like, where'd you come from? Where are you going? I was at Nashville, Abu Dhabi. He goes, no, no. He's like, you. That's really already you did it already. Yeah, he was like, he's like, he said no to that. No, he you've been there. Go, go, go, go. He went, he goes, go back in time and change it. No, he was like, no, Martin, you, he's like, you can't travel to. He's like, you cannot be said. He's like, you
need to take a break your body. He's like, even if I give you shit, he's like, you shouldn't be traveling. So it took me four days. I called, I called everyone a million times to say I'm sorry. Took me four days of losing nine pounds, you know, we were so worried. But now I'm a cutesy pootsie. Now I'm a little pinup girl. Yeah. Now I'm a little skinny pinnip girl. And I finally feel bad. You look like Philadelphia. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you look, you look when I just
say, and that's the last time I'll party with magic Johnson. You know what magic? That's enough. Wow. It was a crazy story. Incredible. So shout out to MGK for the sweater. That was very crazy. So we want to apologize to Abu Dhabi. Sorry about that guys. Oh, two guys, sorry about that guys Abu Dhabi. Abu Dhabi. And I know you guys are mad, but there's nothing we can do. There's no way we're going to put our boy in jail. I was not allowed to fucking fly. I mean,
what's going on? Do we get something? Yeah. So we got some, let's see what we got. Give it to me. Yeah, this is straight from UAE. Oh, no. Oh, no. Is this real? Yeah. Yeah. This is bad, Bobby. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big row as man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach
people who do get a hundred dollar credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be to be. This podcast is supported by FX's English teacher, a new comedy from executive
producers of what we do in the shadows and baskets. English teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English teacher premieres tonight on FX stream on Hulu. We're wanted. I can read it. Who made that? Wanted by the United Arab Emirates. I don't know. Let me read it.
Whoa, you have to read this. Wow. This is serious. Huh? Wanted by United Arab Emirates, Bubbie and Andrew Santino. No call. No show. No show. Being stupid and mad at you in this respectful behavior. Show your angus to anyone with any one with eyes. cancellation. North folk Virginia appears in 2023. Don't turn off less successful podcasts to focus all your energy on the ones. People are actually watching sexual harassment in the workplace. No giving
cartels to the FBI. No giving fancy B to ice. Wow. Wow. Anyway, thank you. Thank you to the fine people of Delta Airlines, being a bad friend and taking care of me. I really appreciate it. Thank you. Shout out to Dr. Warren down in Orange County. Thanks. Thanks for your help, Dr. Warren. Thank you. And Delta. Thank you. Shout out Delta. They killed it. Unlike that girl who got mad this past week at Delta. Did you see that thing? But did you? She's like, screw you Delta. I missed
my best friend's wedding. Did you? It's like you missed the flight. Know how you got it. Did I know how I got this bug? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So two food or through? So I went to the urgent care. Yeah. And I went to my doctor doctor. I went to both because I was that scared. Because dude, on day three, I lost six pounds in one day. Wow. And I went to urgent care because I was concerned. I couldn't think right. I was like, you know, and he was like, is there blood?
Can you are you incoherent or have you passed out again? I said, no, no, no. He goes good. You don't need to go to the emergency room. Okay. But he goes, we'd have to take a stool sample to find out what it really is. But he's like, there's been a lot of these things going around where people are catching these bugs, these flu-like symptomatic bugs. And it rushes through your system. And then you get you get you get it by just eating or do you get it by talking to people? How do you
get here? He doesn't know. But I took the. I just don't want it. But I took the flu test, the COVID test. I took all those tests. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Wow. Couldn't explain it. But he was like, this is not the first time I've seen this. He's like, I've seen people, this is not, this is, I've seen people get these stomach things in the last couple of months. I don't even know what it is. He's like, could be something that's new in Nashville that hasn't made it back here yet. He's like,
you, I've no idea. Wow. Yeah. It's crazy. But no, I don't think it's that contagious because no one I was hanging out with, you know, Zach, Zach Townsend who opened the shows, fine, Cortman Town, fine. Cortidio. Yeah. Love those guys. Fine. Yeah. So. Well, I'll tell you something that I realized. I went to Tony Hinch, Hinch Cliffs show at the forum. Yeah. How was that? You packed. Yeah. It was incredible. Yeah. Thousands, like 10, 15,000 people.
That's why he canceled on us. He did. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, people on the internet go after them, but here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Joel, up, Batch go. Hey, Joel, I'm here with Andrew Santino. You're on bad friends. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. I just want to ask you a question. Is that cool? Sure. And if you don't want this on the internet, that's fine. We can cut it out. But so Andrew played your club at
stand-up live. We love the club, by the way. So one of the best comedy clubs in America. That's right. Okay. And Andrew's Andrew, not do we both, I mean, did I, did I make you happy with the shows? I don't know. You're incredible. Yeah. Yeah. We all sold out, right? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. It's interesting that Andrew got. What is it? Apple air pods. Air pods. So you had. What did you get? Oh, yeah, you got me shoes. You fucking spoiled Brett. Hang on the phone. Joel, I'm so sorry.
Joel, I'm so sorry. I forgot. I forgot. Fuck you. I'm so sorry. I love you. Joel. Apologize. Apologize. I'll play next year. Andrew. Yeah. They were golden. Oh my. Oh, I know they were good shoes. He's a fucking asshole. He said you didn't get him anything. I, Joel, have a good day. Bye, God. Bye, dude. Wait. Okay. You're first of all, you're such a fucking asshole. This is exactly. I fucking forgot. This feels so right. This feels so right. No,
it feels so right. You're right. He bought me these $850 pair shoes. Fuck you. And I've been wearing them. And then I forgot. So I'm like, I wonder where I got these shoes. Such a piece of shit. And now I connected. So anyway, okay, you happy now? I feel so embarrassed. Okay. So to make it even, you have to let me piss on those shoes and throw them away. Let me pee. I'll go. Okay. Did you get a photo from the Netflix luncheon photo? It's funny. You say that. I almost texted you about it
because I ended myself in. I have a photo. You win it. Show me the Netflix luncheon photo. You're worried about it. No, we weren't. No, we weren't. You're worried about it to do this. The show. This is just for people who did that. No, no, no, no, no, that's, you know, that's funny because let me say something. Okay. I've been doing my investigation. Yeah. And I've been doing my homework that is not correct. Why not? There are people there that didn't have anything to do with any
shows. Yeah. Well, no, it's case. No, case about go to the left. You didn't do any. No, he he probably did. Eric Griffin. I call Eric. I go, hey, bud. I saw the photo. I go, hey, I go, hey, bud. I didn't know he he brushes Matt Rive's hair at night. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, but I didn't do any Netflix shows. He goes, no, man, they just went to the lunch. No. Yeah. So I mean, Paulie's there celebrating next to Jimmy Car. This
I'm really good people. They're Shang Wang. Some cute dude dude. Everyone here's this here. Yeah, everyone's there. And here's and look at that. Christchurch in the pool next to the next to Ted Cerandos. Yeah. No, this is this is a fun photo. It's a great. I'll tell you why I have FOMO. Yeah, because everyone in that photo are people that either know or I completely respect. And it's like, I'm like, you know, one day, maybe I'll go. Now, how did you feel when you saw it?
I'd be real. If I do want to be because I've talked to Esther about it. Yeah. It means she's FOMO. Oh, that's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you know me well enough to know better. I think everybody in this room know I couldn't fucking care less. This means no. This is so meaningless. I've been listening. This is funny. Azul and China has been accused of dying dogs black and white to look like pandas. Brilliant. So they do in Mexico. That's so brilliant. Well, the dogs are all gone.
This is the save this is the save the dogs. This is the save the dogs campaign. They got them pull them off the streets. And so they had to put them somewhere. These dogs? The dogs couldn't roam around the streets of China. So they had to put them somewhere dog eating junk. Got it. I got it. Yeah. Yeah. Azul and China is painted. It's so funny to paint that dog. Actually, I would love a panda dog. Dude, those are so cute. I would 100% buy a panda dog. Die that thing permanent. Yeah.
What is that? Hell's Angels having homo erotic. All right. Anyway, let's go. No, this is so interesting. Do you know about this? There's a bunch of photos that are going on the internet that have been like revived from hell's Angels LA division, right? Aren't these Los Angeles, Hell's Angels? Yes. These West Coast Los Angeles, Hell's Angels. They would make out with other angels like this. Look at that guy. Yeah. Yeah. And they did it to what is it display of a
comfortability in their own masculinity? And if other people got uncomfortable, they would beat the shit out of them and kill them. Why I do it? No, it's not. No, last. Yeah. No, you guys do it because you're gay. No, no, I'm not. I'm talking right now. I'll do it right now to do it. No, you, dude, you just hit at that. I got a fucking listen. Oh no, this is because you're gay. No, it's not because I'm gay. You do check it out. These guys do it because they want to start a fight.
They're looking to fight. So at Tony show, you know, clip show, right? I went, I bet you a lot of this shit was going on at Tony. Yeah, I went and gave a Hans Kim in a war. Well, was it? To induct him in the Tony Hall of Fame, whatever. So I walked up with the award and I see on graduate homes. They had to get you to give it to him. Yeah, yeah. And I see Dr. Phil to my left Adam, right? Yeah. And from the big crowd, and he stood up and I stood up and we just kissed on the
lips. You and Adam. Dr. Phil, sorry. Yeah, Dr. Phil. And there's a sense of like, it seems cool. The to whom to us like we're so above it almost like this is like we see past, you know, I mean, how far does it go? That's it. Okay. All right. Then last night. I'm just saying. Last night, I was at the fucking Josh Adam Myers at the fucking his show. Another gay kiss he's going. Yeah. And I went out. So I do my set. And then he came out to sing a song with a duet. Yeah.
And then during the song, we just looked at each other and we kissed twice on the lips. See, I think this is gay. It's not gay. It's not gay. It's like where are we? We're above it. But see, people use art as a distraction. What do you do? No, I relate. That's what you write. You do right? Do you understand what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Come here right now. This is something. Got fully. Yeah. Come here right now. Yeah. This is very refreshing. This is
repression is what this is. You guys are it's like this. It's like, yeah, yeah, it's for the laughs. Yeah. For the look he wants more. Get out of here. Get out of here, dude. God, I don't know. That's what it is. I just don't get it. Have I done it with you? No. I've kissed you on the lips before on the cheek. We kiss the I'll keep you on the cheek. On the lips. No, yeah. Yeah, he's done all the air. You've done lips for the gag. You've done it to act artsy.
You get it to live at one of the fucking big gigs, right? And you looked at me and you were in one of those like Basky Odee Moos. Yeah. You're like, I'm Rambrand whatever. And you were like, you look at me. Locked my eyes away when we did it. And then you kind of went, yeah, that's cool. That's what they're doing. It's a wrap. The rest of the country is right. We are weirdo lunatics. Yeah. West Coast. It's like when David Bowie and fucking Lou Reed and Mick Jagger used to kiss on
the lips, right? Okay. They're not gay. They're fucking artsy, dude. Art is gay. CBGB. Art is gay. Right. We just, you know, art is gay. Yeah. The album below. We were in Germany. He can't even play the one. They're in Germany together. We fucked. That looks like a. I love it, dude. I wish I was a hell's-rangel back there. It looks like me and Raj Sharma. Yeah. You and Moam. Yeah. Me and Moam. And why is Daniel Stern watching over?
It's fucking nuts, dude. Rick Lassman. Rick Lassman's there. But what's wild about this? It would start fights. These guys would, and they'd fight to the death for some of these guys for criticizing the sexuality, which is ironic because they also were home of Hobick. They would go beat the shit out of any minority. Black, gay, Jewish. If they felt so. Yeah. I mean, but there's two different things. It's a. You're acting as if they're, they're completely
two different things. No. Hunter S Thompson wrote, they can't stand it says Terry blows their mind every time, especially the tongue, but the set of a photographer invariably whips it. Hell's Angels into a kissing frenzy. So whenever there's someone taking photos, they start kissing. Tongue? That's what he says. Hunter S Thompson wrote all about it. Hell's Angels is a great book. Tongue. Have you done Tongue? Tongue? Tongue is not artsy. I've done Tongue warrants, it was all.
With who? A guy kissed me in the back of an Uber and he stuck his tongue down like, throw, and I kissed back so I didn't want to be mean. Now you know how girls feel. Exactly. When they put it when they put up with some fucking creepo dude. Yeah, I just had to put out so that it wouldn't be awkward. When I date with a girl from Los Felos and at the end of the day, I turned, I go into kiss and she went the cobra and I, yeah.
You got cobrote. I got cobrote. You got cobrote. That's a cobra. Whoa, dude. Yeah, and a kiss to cheek. Whoa. You know, when you're going for a kiss, guys, we all have done it. We've all done it right? Yeah, but yeah, yeah. Yeah, you have. Yeah, but I mean, I rarely got in cobra. I think I only know why go in when I know it's appropriate. I sometimes my instincts wrong, but I go, I think this is the right time. Obviously we're wrong. That was wrong. Where was it
outside of the restaurant? No, it was dropping her off at her house. So you turned in the car. So I'm like, yeah, great night. She was going to have me too. We should do it again. I go, yeah. Cobras. Cobras. What did you say? What do you then say after she does it? You make it like a little, oh, have a good night. Oops. Oops. Oops. You get out and open her door.
No. Have you ever opened a door for a girl? It's when he last night. I was with a girl at dinner and then she was, you're not going to open the door for me, which I've never, like I've never, would know it's a grass. It's like a real white thing. Yeah. Really? Was it a white chick? Yeah. Oh, you got to do it. White people love it. White girls like stuff like that. Yeah, that reminds me of the old days. I'm right. I'm right. It tells so what else do whites like? White girls, what are
whites like? Yeah. They like when you hold the door for them. I already got pump and sky. Lots of spray. Yeah. Any kind of lots of spray in my car when I go on a date. So pump and sprays. They like the door open flowers. Any flower. Yeah. You can pick a flower off the fucking side of the road. They love it. They don't care platinum cards. No, they don't care as long as you're paying. Okay. Whatever card. Yeah. Whatever card doesn't matter. It's
a card. You need money though. You're not it. Gotta have money. You got to have money. They love a good deal. They love like thrifting. So they love like they they like chic thrifting. So I go do it. Oh my god. You want to get some real good white pussy? Go to a farmer's market. I went to one with that. That's where all the girls are. Yeah. And we got granola. Oh, they love that. I love granola. They love granola by their own honey and shit like that. They're really into that
coconut yogurt. Yeah. Yeah. White chick. White chick. A lot of shit like farmer's market. Yeah. Uh, what? Uh, what? Allo. You know what? Allo is. Yeah. Don't talk to me like that. What is it? It's workout gear. Okay. Allo. It's like, uh, it's like little lemon. Okay. But the allos like the new shit. It's like, is it really a workout gear? Allo. Look it up. It's popular as fuck. I see it all the time. Allo. Allo. They like it's like a hip. You know, yeah. They love
Pilates. Go hang out outside of a Pilates class. What a fisting? Huh? Fisting. Fisting. I think you're going to get less than one percent. Not even a pound. I mean a pound. Oh, they love that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I the word wrong. But also, so, and they love Palm Springs. That's why people love Palm Springs. The location. They just like to go out there. The desert. I don't even know what the fuck they do. They love it. They just go take a picture in front of that sign that says
drugs at that hotel that they recruit. Like look at the fuck. Look at Palm Springs drug sign. Watch this. Look at how many fucking white girls are below this thing. Yeah. That fucking dumb sign. Whatever it is. Whatever hotel that is. It was like dolphins. Yeah. I know this. They love dolphins. They love dolphins. Dude, I dated four girls in my life with dolphin patatos. Shut the fuck up. Where are they? They're like either in the back or like on the shoulder.
Really? They're just really smart creatures. Right? And they're just like sentient beings. So we're pigs. I know exactly. Get a pig back. Could you look like a pig anyway? Oh my god. That's too much. That's too much. I get a pig tattoo. Yeah. But I actually respect it. Second smart of Santa on the planet next to humans who says we're the smartest on this fucking planet. Are they agree with that? Because I saw that document. I don't know. The cove. I
side with the poachers. I side with the poachers. Yeah, me too. I'm a dolphin, right? I see a bit. It's filled with dolphin blood. Yeah. All right. It's just eyeball. A dolphin eyeball is floating around. Yeah. And he's like, there's a part. Ray. There's a rave. You know what I mean? If I've been the alleyway and I see a human hand, I'm not gonna walk down the alleyway. Hello? It's not even a bit. I'm not doing it. That sounds like a comedy bit.
I'm doing. I would never do it. It's a good bit. It's a good bit. And it's true. Are these smart? They're apparently they're second to us, but which means nothing. Because look at how dumb we are. Exactly. Because we love self-destruction. We're the number one at this order. The orders of smart complex problems solving and understanding abstract situations. So they understand the keys. But for the art. Yeah. Not for the art. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. It's not gay. It's just. Yeah. Wait. It's okay. If it's gay, you're gay. It's fine. I love gay. Yeah. I know. I love gay. Not only are they adorable. They're also incredibly intelligent. Have unique adaptations. Sea otters are intelligent. See? See otters because they can also build shit. You know why they're so smart. They're ugly. They're fucking hideous looking. The otters are the cutest. What the fuck you talking about?
Yeah. Sea otters are ugly. They know they got to be smart when they're that fucking ugly. Let me see. See otter. Bro, cute as for you talking. They got a good photo. Yeah. They hit their fucking mustache. That's a good photo. Look at that. Look at them. Do. I want one. I know. Exactly. Those are great. They're great. Look at that. I'll tell you what's funny. We had raccoons in the backyard for so long. And raccoons.
They're little assholes, but they're so cute. What? What's going on? Don't you get me started with raccoons right now? Don't you get me started? Don't get me fucking started with the raccoons. I have I have six rat traps set up in my backyard. The biggest ones I can find to try to catch one of these motherfuckers. I'm not.
Right now in my driveway. Guess what's on it? Coons, baby. No. Kung pow chicken. Kung pow chicken. Kung pow chicken. Oh, okay. I thought you meant like Kung pow, like you made it. So I went to Cohen. What's his name? Gang is Cohen. Gang is Cohen. No, I love that. Right. And I got three dishes. Yeah. Beef and broccoli. Sweet and sour pork. Got it. White rice. Yes. And I got Kung pow chicken. Yeah. So right. So I'm eating. You know what I do.
You eat over. I over. Yeah. You take one bite of each and you throw it away. Right. So I'm like, I want to fuck with this Kung pow chicken. But if I put it in the fridge, it'll be there for nine months. At least. Yeah. Yeah. So I go, I'm just going to keep it in the box and stick it in a trash, you know, the trash bag put it in the trash. Bro, can't do that. Kung pow chicken all the room. Oh, yeah. You did that. And I want to clean it. You knew about it. They clean it.
No, they they ate what they needed and then they're done. And then come back to not tomorrow night and put it clean. Did they knock over the cano? They just open the lid. They somehow climb on top of it. I've seen them open it up. And they can balance like circus elation. Yeah, it's amazing. Right. And they can get the Kung pow out. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. No, it's incredible. I've seen some of their skills are incredible. But if is it illegal to murder one?
No, we looked it up. You can catch them, but you're not supposed to kill them. But if you do kill them, who's going to know? Throw it in the L.A. River. But they're so cute too. Some of them for sure. Yeah. You can kill it any time day or night in any legal manner. Hey, is that what it says? Yeah, if it's causing property damage, you can kill it. Is eating compote chicken property damage? Yes. Okay. Then I'm going to I don't want to kill it. But I don't know if that's eating if that's
it's not like ripping up your lawn or anything. It's not doing anything. Yeah. I know what I'm going to do. Imagine that Bobby has been in court for killing a raccoon. You can use a lethal body grip trap that will snap its neck or you can shoot it. Don't attempt to poison it. Why? You wind it with bigger problems on your hands.
That sounds like a mafia threat. You're going to you're going to try to fucking poison me and the other boys. You're going to end up with a bigger problem than you ever fucking wish. All right. Ming Ming Ming has been you know, I bought a brand new couch. Oh my god. Please tell me Ming ruined your couch. Not just ruin it. She and I'm going to have to take her to the hospital. How much was that couch?
Oh, 15,000. 15,000 dollars in the cat fucking ruined it. Not just ruin it. She pees and then there's blood in her pee. Why? She's dying. No. I think she has a UTI or something. Just like her papa. Yeah. Yeah. And so I put down SRAN rap on the couch. Yeah. What do you? My grandmother? Yeah. So funny. Like SRAN met rat and that's not the furniture. I come in the morning. I see pockets of pee and blood.
On my new couch. I catch it with the SRAN. Why don't you just put her in a room like I can't because she's a free. She's a free. She's a free bird. Free bird.
And she's half black. Half white. She's free. She's like Obama. Yeah. Which does she identify is she white passing or black passing she's definitely white. She's white passing. Yeah. Right. Until she needs to use that. He does take this if she's like a human right. Hi, I'm in. But then around other black cast. She's like, yeah, she gets in the character. What's. Yeah. Yeah. Miyaw mother fuck on the fuck. Yeah. Miyaw mother fuck. book that could also be its Asian name. So I out.
So you check this out. I bought it. They delivered it. So I bought this stuff called nature's miracle advance platinum. No more marking potty trainer for indoor. What is it about two bottles of it? I don't know what it is. It just drinks it. No, and I'm going to spray it all over my couch. Oh, so ruin the couch more. Yeah, I don't care. Right. At this point, because you're going to think this is a joke. You're going to think this is joke. I swear to God, I'm my mother's life. This happened.
Yeah. OK. A week ago, I was with a girl on my new couch. Hook it up. We're making out. All right. And she rolled on not just the pee, but she had poo to poo's in there. Cute. Right. And so when she got up, I could see the poo stuck to her fucking teeth. Right. And I, you know, I sort of, it was, you know, let's go to the bedroom and I knocked them off with my hand. And we went to the fucking good. I know how do you say there's poo on it ruins the vibe. Yeah. It ruins the vibe. I can't tell her.
I don't know. Right. And I knocked it out and I still haven't hung out with her since. She doesn't know though. She doesn't know. She does now. I think when I dropped her off, she probably looked at her shirt and goes, why is there, you know, me imagine she was embarrassed. She's like, I went over the guys house with poop on my shirt. She didn't know it came from your house. Oh, shit. She got a thought she brought poop. I could have just blamed her like, hey, bitch. Don't come over to my house.
I sure fucking sure. Why you have cat pee and poo on your back? Fucking shit shirt. You, you, I don't think as quick as you spin it, dude. I have to spin those situations. You have to be like, it's your shit shirt off my couch. Yeah. It's like I used to, when I was a kid, me and my friend Brian Bradley, we used to steal weed from this guy's house, right? Yeah. Is it after we would steal it? Because we knew that we went to, this dude went to work.
And we, when he would come back from work, we would go to his house and buy weed from him. You'd steal it then buy it? Yeah, we'd still, and buy him. He goes, and he would go look and he'd freak out like, oh my, we it's gone. You're like, well, we'll pay you for some. Yeah. And we go, let's, let us help you. Because if you're that guy, right? Then you don't think that they're other people. No, why would they steal from him? They just bought from him. Yeah. It's actually brilliant.
That's what I should do with the cat pee poo thing. You 100% spin it on him. Spin it. You got to spin it, dude. One time I pretended to roll up a joint from this girl's weed at her birthday party and we were in England. We went to like a random house party. Yeah. And my buddy Travis was like rolling up the weed. And the British guy was like, he goes, he's our tin, roll up. You know, you guys know how to roll up. And he gave him like the whole tin of weed.
Yeah. Travis looked at me and was like, so let's get the fuck out of here. We stuck our tin of weed and we walked out. Wow. So mean. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. They were looking for you. It was a party. He thought he was like, because he was like, he was like the cool American guys. What would you do? What would you do? We went to your party car, I was. And we stole a tin of weed from him. If you guys literally did, no, just to work. No, my name is, uh, Marcos, Marcos, Marcos, Marcos from spying.
And I'm will fret. I'm from Sweden. And I know I got to be legitimately really upset. Oh, what are you going to do about it? Lucy. I'm Mark. I'm from Sweden. Toots. Yeah. I need my, I want to say country. Why don't we get to be for different country? Would you do it or how to do accents? I know, but I want to be. Okay. You're from Sweden. Yeah. I'm Marcos. I'm a Marcos from Sweden. I need my weed back. I'm addicted. No, we're not done. We, no, it's just what we walk in. Just let's do that. I go.
A miracle. No. You are not. Oh, what? I'm a will for your marcos. I am a Marcos from Sweden. Hey, man, you got any bud for us to smoke? You have the cockroach for us. No. Yeah, here's the cockroach. No. Oh, that's called tin of your marijuana. A lot of marijuana. Can we take it outside with? Can we take it? Oh, really? Oh, you do it right here. Oh, hold on. Look. Oh. Good. Good. We'll get him to look the other way. You have to do that. Right. Look over there.
So if you're at home, and if you're going to steal weed from somebody, just do the whole look over there. That never works. I don't think. Look over there. Yeah, and then we would have to run. I bet you look over there does work. What is that? Look, what is that? And then you just walk away with the weed. We should say what it is. What is that? Uh, uh, ghost. Too fat, too slow. Yeah, what is that? What is that? Is that crack in the foundation of the home? Getting really started. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Your landfictures on fire. Well, no, it has to be on fire then for it to be real. Oh, shit. All right. Looks crooked. Yeah. Do a small, a small, a small detail. Let me give you another. Yeah, small detail. Yeah. Is that black mold on your tile? On your skyld tile? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a hole in that grout in the corner. There's a huge hole. I want to create my own though. Please. Yeah. Is that grass growing inside your living room? I just not.
They take two seconds to look in there like no, I'm with this. I like your rug. Where'd you get that? Westown. That now, but they're still looking at you. Oh, fuck. I'm not going to. No, I'm not good at stuff like that. Try to look over there. Look over there. There we go. Gone, gone. Okay. Anyway, don't steal weed. Don't steal weed. You know what? steal it. steal it. Yeah, yeah. No, look at that. I mean, who cares now? You can go to the store and buy it.
There's way too many stores that sell weed, by the way. There was a weed store next to the home depot and I was like, okay. You know, it's crazy. The assessor. What is it for? I know, I know. It's like really, but the accessibility of mushrooms now. They're everywhere. This is laying or less side of the comedy is just laying around big bags. Well, you know what's all funny to this? So I get mushrooms every time I go to the comedy store.
Yeah. And our friend Carol that hooks us up that we love from New Tropics. And I have a basket of party. I have a party drug basket at my house. So when people come over, I always have weed for people, mushrooms. I've never seen this. You're not invited. I don't show it to you. Okay. For very obvious reasons. Yeah, I was just trying to think of what. When you were so, when you were not sober, I definitely didn't want to show it to you. That bums me out.
Well, because you would consume at a rate that was probably dangerous. I know. I just thought that maybe we could add a fun night. Yeah, but like together, you just go too far. Yeah, but like if you went too far with me, that could be fun once. Yeah, I mean, I've been fucked up with you, Carlos. I know we should just do it. We've part. No, we're not going to part your sober. I know, I know. No more. I know. I partied with you. No more. We can't reminisce. No enticing. Wow, why can't I?
Because that's against the fucking rules. Party together. No more party stuff. I have a basket of drugs at my house. And when the movers came to move us, the guy was like, hey, I'm so sorry. I can't legally move drugs. No. No. My wife is like, what are you talking about? He's like, there's a basket in a laundry room that's filled with drugs. No. Yeah, we have it for when people come over for parties. Wow. Because when I have people come over, I'm always like, here, who's drugs if you want them?
You know, wow. It's a courtesy. It's a nice thing. When am I, when am I, it's kind of rude. I know you've been sick, but you haven't been fighting me over here. No one's come over to my house. I just moved in. I literally just moved in. It's not like that. Am I going to have a house-winning party? Yeah, you guys got the invite, didn't you? Yeah. I didn't get anything. You didn't get anything? No. The joke was that. I know. And I was doing a separate part. I know. It wasn't working.
Yeah. When you use offshoot jokes, I know I've been in an offshoot. It never works. He's not interesting how far he's fallen. He's fallen. That's you falling far. Your instincts are wrong. There was an offshoot. Okay. I don't even think. No, no, no. Whoa, dude. I don't even, I don't even understand the joke. I think you just said that. And then you just stood at the, no, I didn't. I didn't know when I said it was an offshoot.
No, no, no, no. I understand the fact that you're getting your mind together, dude. You can't fool a fooler. I can't fool a fooler. You can't fool a fooler. No, you can't. No, you can't. This is stolen valor. You're trying to... That's a fooling the valor. You're a fooler. You're not a fooler, but stolen valor. You're not a fooler. Yeah. Don't fool the fooler. That's a real fucking fool right here. Donavark's valor. This is a great A fucking foolhead. You're not fooling a foolhead, pal.
I'm foolish beyond my ears. Beyond. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like... It's been in the last few years. It's been in the last few years. Oh my God, speaking of which, before we go any further. Yeah. Did we watch Terrence Howard on Joe Rogan? No. Everyone in this fucking room has an assignment. You need to go home and watch this entire interview. It's going to blow your fucking mind. It's Terrence good. Better than good, buddy. Better than good. He goes off.
He goes ham Sam. He's like a neuroscientific cat Williams. Wow. He's gone. He's gone. Love it. It's fucking awesome. Yeah. Yeah, he's loopy poopy. Look up one fucking clip of this guy. I can't wait. Remember, they have a thing called zero. They go from one to zero to negative one. There is no zero to even... Hold on. The guy that got fired from Iron Man. The amount of times I've sat in a garage in high school, getting stoned out of my fucking mind and heard this in the background.
And then had to go, I got to get back to my mom's house. Yeah. Like the amount of times high in a garage in high school. He's an Xbox. That's what I do. This, but this is seriously, this conversation is happening right now in someone's garage. Yeah. Right now, one guy is going, the magnetism was never still still. And then that's me too high going. I got to go back to my mom's house. I got to go get a gatorade at the gas station and go back to my mom's house. It was one guy going...
Yeah. Yeah. Not paying attention at all. Doesn't know what the fuck he's just saying because... By the way, this is how wonky this shit is. Go halfway, go halfway down. Go halfway just in the middle and now listen to where he's at now. Go ahead. There. I don't need anything else because they just, they didn't want me to go and talk about this and that's why I went out there and said, hey, pull out your calculator. What the fuck are we talking about? Wow, wow, wow, wow.
You listen to the whole thing. It's, you know, it's like, it's like, it's what I imagine reading the Bible would be like. Wow. It's eating the thickest piece of chocolate cake. It's annoying as fuck. I couldn't stop listening to it. Yeah, yeah. I was like, what in the fuck? The first recorded zero appeared in Mesopotamia around 3BC. The Mayans invented it independently, circuit 480. He would have a twist on this. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, I'm, I'm going to be real for a second.
Let's, can we just, I'm a lay person. Dido. Excuse me? I just said, dido, you fucking moron. Okay. That's an agreeance. I'm saying me too. Okay, let's have it. Anyway, yeah. Oh, he's sharing my friend. By the way, how far away is this show from that show? No, I'm fuller opposite. No, I'm a person, okay? Yeah, I'm saying. I'm a lay person and I don't, I don't know what the fuck that means. So what does that mean? What does what mean? How was zero invented in Mesopotamia?
I think zero was something that was just like always a part of, now he's saying zero was, they're saying it was publicly recognized as a thing that my ends used as calculation. They had to make it. The idea of zero is something that's just a truth, no? Now your Terrence Howard. Now your Terrence Howard. What I'm saying is that there's a caveman, right? One caveman had three sticks. Yeah. I don't know what they collected. Rocks. Rocks. And one caveman didn't have any, that's zero.
They killed that guy. You had nothing. Oh, you killed the guy with the zero. Zero was dead. Right. If you had nothing, you die. Am I, okay, I guess you're not wrong. No, explain it to me, man. What are you talking about? When they started to recognize zero as a numerical identification of nothing. So there was a point in time that no one really knew that. There's a point in time when I'm sure it wasn't communicated clearly. Okay. It's like gravity. It existed before people knew what it was.
I know, but that's not my point. They used to use a blank space. They always existed though. Look at that. They used a blank space to indicate nothing as a value. And when that group confusing, they began using a pair of angled wedges as a placeholder for blank space. Oh, this is the little circle of it. Yeah. The symbol of it. Yeah, the symbol. You mean the zero? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, zero. And physically zero. I'm so sorry. Maybe I'm like drowning. Am I drowning? No. No, honestly, am I drowning?
Am I... Tartel? No. Try to figure out zero. Nobody. It's okay. Yeah. Okay. It's relatively new. It's only... It's only 3,000 years old. Also, God bless the guy for having a new enlightenment. God bless America. Yeah. God bless America. God bless Terrence Howard. He said he's going to reinvent the periodic table. He said it's vertical and it's through sound. Colors are sound. Wow. Pretty cool. I hope it all comes true. I googled when marriage became an institution. It's 4,300 years ago.
Yeah, it's been around for a long time. Yeah, but what did they do before? I know what they did. What do you mean before marriage? What did they do? There were groups, right? Tribes. And like two or three alpha male dudes just pretty much fucked everybody. Right. And then guys meet like me and Carlos and Andreas, not you, McCone. I think you're one of the members. We were just... We were cocks or something. We jerked off in the watching. You deaf... Yeah, for sure.
Historically, you and another universe was cocking. You guys were cocking. He put us invited a word. You know what that word is? Oh my god. I can't put it. I'm just saying. That's what happened, I think. Yeah. You need to watch it. I want to watch it. I think it'll help me go to sleep. Yeah, you're not going to retain any information. Yeah, I don't think so. What is this? Evil laugh competition. Oh, shit. I would love to try. You would crush. Sorry. Let me hear.
No, these guys are all practicing what they're going to do after they shoot up the school. Yeah, yeah. That one's pretty good. Just deposit. What did you say? This is an American thing. No, there's nerds all over the fucking world. Look at you, you fucking nerd. This is just a different kind of nerd. You're a visual fucking nerd. These are sound dorks. You like fucking cameras and also a film. They would invite you to the party, fuck out. Yeah, you wouldn't get invited.
You're not even invited to that party, dude. Yeah, because you have to bring us to. Let's try a symbol. You do one for us. No, you go first. You wanted to try. I've never done before. Well, let's hear one more. I want to hear the last one. Let's see the landscape of it. And they all want to fuck that chick. All these nerds. Yeah. Oh, is this happening at a school? What are they teaching these fucking kids? All right, let's hear your evil laugh. I'm trying it. Oh, go ahead. No. No. Where are you?
Where are you? Where are you? No. That's really good. That was actually really fucking good. You would have won that whole thing. You do. You go. No, I went in vision. I'm tied to it. We're knocked out. I'm tied to a tree. I'm in a forest, right? What do they say whenever someone's kidnapped? Their first word, other mouth is always this. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. You know who I am? No. I'm one of the hell's angels. Please don't kiss me. Oh, I'm going to kiss you very soon.
I'm going to kiss you so low. Like, hey, I'm like, hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. Oh, that's good. That's good, right? Yeah, that's like different. That's my little hell's angel. Yeah, that's really good. Kissy, Kissy. Yeah. All right, I got to get on my bike. That's really good. How funny was you to see a hell's angel? Fucking what? Bitch. Kiss a guy in there. Then roll away.
If they have the evil laugh, there's other things they could probably do like climax competition. Yeah, evil climax. How about not evil sad climax? Well, that's fucking, I can do that one every time. Okay, do it. Oh, that's good. I had a two. Yeah, I think it's happening. You little half shot. What's that happened? Nothing happened. Yeah, yeah. Okay. You know, you know what fancy sounds like? What? Only nuts. Oh, tell me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. What is my comment sound?
Oh, I was gusting the tongue. Oh, no cap. Oh, I gasped inside of your pus. Oh. I gasped inside your pus. No cap on God when he comes on God. Gen Z coming. Oh, shit on God. You generation fucking sucks. You got your fucking life. fucking losers. Yeah. Thank you for being our bad friend.