Maybe a little too fresh. You think maybe we could start the podcast? Yes, one more Riz face. Good morning, folks. Welcome to the show. My name is Phil Labonte here with Tim Hot Tub. Yes, I was hoping maybe we could get a bubble sound effect. Bubble yeah, I forgot work on that please. Yeah That's the crew We got a crew that's working
super hard. We appreciate it We took I mean We didn't take a month off We were gonna take a month off and then I was like I got too many bits in my mind that I got a release It's like you need to have this release of tension. Yeah It really is a problem when I have too many jokes built up in my head And I'm not going out and getting fucked up enough and then releasing the jokes. I need to release them on the podcast So it's you're kind of an outlet. You're kind
of a punching bag. I have a beautiful mind I'm not a punching bag, but the podcast podcast is a punch Yeah, you guys are a punching bag except for the page or the patrons of patreon .com slash bad economy Just got a free month. They're just we love them. We would never punch No, they're a beautiful audience. And then anyone on YouTube, you're our punching bag. We hate you. If you're listening on Spotify, I don't like you. So just hear that if you're on Spotify. We are on Spotify
and Apple. Honestly, if you're listening on Spotify, if you're not listening on Spotify, YouTube, Patreon or Apple podcasts, if you're listening on some other gay thing, use a regular thing. Unless you're in unless you're one of our fans from like Bavaria. We have a lot of Nazi fans, I think. It's okay. So it's all okay. Sorry, I got mad at the fans. Sometimes the fans that have been with you the whole time you forget about them. No, I'm talking about I said I love
talking about non patrons, non patrons. I don't like them. Not one bit. They don't like well, I know right the patrons are sorry. I know right the people so This is always this is an Asian Asian joker Rice so Siri rice You want to know how I got this rice I was thinking I'm talking about like a like Batmobile like That would be a losses wheel that sounds like a nursery rhyme I'll never lose. He might have lost his wheel, but I'll never lose my black guy comb brush.
I mean, I was thinking of using like, you know, I got this lint roller for that. You know, I want to know where I got this black guy. He gave it to me. He just gave it to you. Yeah. Not only do I have a stack of inward passes, I got no. So this is well he didn't want it. Yeah. I mean, I'm literally. What does that say about it? Yeah. So this is trash. Take this off my hands white boy and folks say like that. Folks, we haven't
been recording in a while. So I've been saving up my n word passes and join the Patreon at patreon .com slash bad company for that. I'm gonna let it loose. I'm pretty sure they cancel out by the way. I don't think you can hold even multiple. No, you can. If you're given by multiple people. They're not valid with any other offer. Hello, oh or with any other audience you mean Well, what I've been given them by probably most of the black people in Chicago Except for the ones
that oh Probably most of them. I'm gonna save my work story for the pain for the patreon Yeah, let's do that, but I almost got killed in the ghetto. So I don't worry. I don't sell candy in the ghetto anymore. Yeah yikes Candyman it was a good run It was and I got along it. I always do well in the ghetto, but it's a different atmosphere out there now. It's a different animal, folks. It's an animal. I normally I love I love the
ghetto. I love and the ghetto loves me. You ain't got to like it because the hood don't love it. You know, the hood loves me. But even about that, this particular neighborhood of Oblock did not like me. Not a big fan of a big Mac crowd. I was. I'll tell the story later, but I should have told them that I'm a BD and they probably would have liked me a little street cred to start out, right? Yeah, they Crucial I was like you just hate me cuz I'm white. Yeah It's a classic
that ain't even a white boy. They said you people and I said you people white people. They're not my people That's right. I said that's racist. Yeah you people And then I was like, I'm so offended. And then they called me a cracker. I can't even say that. I shouldn't even say that. They called me the C word, the racist C word. Well, that's because you were doing the voice and insisting. They called me, they said, what are you, a saltine? And I said, no. They did not believe you were
Asian. They said, what are you, Ritz Cracker? And I was like, whoa. You can't use you can't use the we can't use the word with the comparative insult Saltine was funny, but you can't say Ritz cracker Doesn't you're you're using the thing in the thing you could say. What is you a tow house? So putting on the Ritz yeah, they should have said what are you putting on the Ritz great song? That's what they should have said great song White boy, yeah This is it. What are you
putting on the roots? I wonder where How Trump started the zip because it's great It means like full stop. I feel like bag is I feel like it's like taking the woman's dress off No, it's like the bag is zipped up That's the thing people are saying a lot now is full stop at the end of a sentence Have you noticed it? I never known then that your sentences are Oh, I hear it a lot on full stop and stuff that they say a sentence and they say full stop at the end. That's my
statement. Full stop. I've heard of that. Yeah. Full stop. I kind of like it. We should start saying that it used to be the list. It used to be blah, blah, blah. Period. Now it's all about full stop. But it's it's not on the list of it's it's too public now. You know, it's it's like Stephen Miller and Peter Hegs that they're saying it. We gotta say words that reverberate with Gen Z and Gen Alpha. Like that guy's cooked. That's cringe. So good is based. Bad is cringe.
If someone's cooked, they're cooked. There's no other way to put it. Yeah, it's just if they're cooked, they're cooked. Yeah. What have you ever seen that skit who's on first based mm -hmm? It's about some bass dudes Yeah, and they're like who's based one guys like I am they're like nice I like so that's that it's from like the 1920s or something baseball, too Yeah, I was a little more old -timey sounded when I heard Yeah, speaking old -time. What the heck that
was that Hitler guy doing bad guy? That stuff except if he did he did follow his heart kind of you had to respect that Not not the Holocaust obviously Terrible even attacking his neighbors awful thing, but he kind of had a good economy and he followed his heart And I respect that like you're just looking at the he followed his
heart Maybe mainly he followed his heart. That's what I was because I respect anybody following their heart, whether they're Hitler or Jesus or or, you know, like who are some who are some like Martin Luther King Jr. Martin Luther King Jr. Martin Luther King had a dream. You know, that's kind of how I talk. But they all follow their hearts. And I respect that doesn't mean I respect what the person did. It's kind of like
Kanye now. He's following his heart. It's like the art from the artist, but then it's right now both Maybe both I gotta say Hitler's art not bad people say he's like a not a great artist pretty pretty good It's pretty weird when you are looking at it, and it's a Hitler's art. It's good. I mean it's like it's just it's a He hated like he makes it he hated like degenerate art and like super abstract stuff and he like just like paintings that made things look beautiful,
which I like that art. He's like, let's do this with. But but I but he did the Holocaust. You can't do the Holocaust. You don't attack Russia and the rest of the world and then just team up with Japan and Italy. What are you thinking? Now it's conflicting, especially the Holocaust. That's the worst thing to do. Yeah, it was just a very bad choice for the brand Yeah, you know that he I think he won like the Nobel Peace Prize literally at one point or he was on Time magazine
for like being a Wow. Yeah, and then he did the Holocaust magazine And I won't do that. He definitely got canceled for the whole Holocaust thing Yeah, that's like cooked That's when cancel culture started the first guy to get canceled was Hitler For the Holocaust was still kind of too popular. Right. I mean, I was like, dude, what are you doing? Well, yeah, that was before we had the higher. That was before we had higher morals.
Like back when like Genghis Khan was just or until the hunt even worse, just they would go to castles, kill everyone there, take all the treasure and then they'd move on. He wouldn't get canceled because that was just the normal thing. And it's a cool guy and cool guy. They would go right around with. bows and just surround cities and then kill everyone there take the women take people as slaves and just move on
and That's how I feel about life. Like if you ever have an issue Just take care of it and move on. Yeah, maybe just solve the problem That's why they call me that till that's why I call me it until the Mac the Mac until of the Mac until of the Mac Until of the Mac a lot of people do okay most people in general. Is it like a karaoke thing? No, I wanted to join the karaoke circuit. I need to talk to I think Sonal Agarwal does the does karaoke circuit and I'm a way better
singer than she is. I'm honestly a way better singer than probably anybody in Chicago. Maybe a sing off between Mack and Sonal. I know that I would sing a lot of songs better than her. If I sing Silver Stallion by the Highwaymen, it's four different voices that I do perfectly. Maybe we just each pick one song. No, that is one song. What song? Silver Stallion by the Highwaymen. What does that sound like? Just a little bit. I wanna steal me a silver stallion. And then
the chorus is Johnny Cash. And we're gonna ride, we're gonna ride. You know that song. Riding like a one -eyed jack of diamonds with the devil close behind we're gonna ride Give it up for that that Willie Nelson house in I'm gonna chase the sky forever With a woman and the stallion and the wind it's tough to do it in talking level No, but it's interesting it's interesting Yeah, Sonal Agarwal can't do a four. She can't do a
four artist song. That's my challenge. She can try to do like the Dixie Chicks or something, but it'd be more like the... What four artist song would you do? That song. Oh, she would just do a four artist rap song that just is way higher energy. Cuck you. She wouldn't be able to do a rap. Mine would be way more compelling. I would defeat Sonal Agarwal if I was doing a corn song. Maybe corn. Put on a corn song and a corn song only. Country ballad versus she's gonna rap Lil
Wayne, Eminem. Well if she goes with Lil Wayne... Then I'll pick a different Lil Wayne song. And I will clap back because I know all the Lil Wayne songs. Well, you pick one that's a better song, but people know it less. I know. No, or one that people know well. What would you pick? Well, it depends what she picks. What would you pick if you had to go first? Well, my favorite one is playing with fire. But that one got taken off the card of three. Why? It might have been
a copyright with the the hook. Mm -hmm, but that one is mama always told me I was crazy my ho say I'm amazing But I don't listen to a lady the bitches say I'm hot and I said no bitch I'm blazing like what the fuck you expect. I'm a motherfucking Cajun Wow, I might do the sky's the limit by little Wayne A milli I can do a milli but I'd rather do the sky's the limit is better because that's with the Mike Jones beat
My job is just him. Crushing. But when you're saying for artists song, then it's four people on the song. Yeah, and saying you have to do each person's different voice. Yeah. So could you do that with four rappers like that? Probably. Yeah, I could probably do from the Carter from the Carter for Jadakiss. Andre 3000. Drake and Lil Wayne. Exactly. That's how that's how based. I know all that. That's how based I am is I know who's on that song and I can do all their voices.
Yeah, do that instead of a country song with for Johnny Cash and well, people that are are all open with that and see how it goes. Because what she's going to be like a million here, a million there. Yeah, she'll lose. No way. If she went after you did a country ballad and she did a hip -hop banger. Okay, so Everyone knows it was so we did one round one round beat one round, but she has to do four people So one round would be oh, yeah one round to be four people.
I would do that song probably and then She would do some ratchet song and then I would do hurt when we do one. No, that's my best song It might be your best song, but then it's like, I hurt myself today. Exactly like what have I'm the best at sounding like old Johnny Cash. I could sing Hurt way better than like Ring of Fire or anything like that. Do a little ring of fire. What have I become my sweetest friend? That's one thing if I'm a rapper, I just do my real
voice. Yeah, just do your Do your based voice do my sometimes I do want this voice. Well, yeah, I did not see that coming. It's just part of a rap. That's what I meant. So yeah, it's like a look. It's like a low bass voice, but it's a bass. It's like B -A -S -S -E -D. Oh, wow. Yes. Yeah. But think about OK. So you said you were worried about me sounding too white and not know you. Hannibal Burris is good at sounding still somewhat black, but being monotone. You
can do that. But rap. And be white. I think that he raps now too, maybe. He does. He was at North Bar in one of their last days. And then I was like, what are you Hannibal Barca from the guy who invaded Rome from Carthage? Roasted. And he said, no, I'm actually Hannibal Burris. And I said, oh, damn, glad to meet you. Really what time before I was a comic I ran I Didn't that's
actually That one's a fake. No, I I met I met I met Hannibal Burris at North Park actually, but I ran to Eric Andre at the owl And this is before I was comic and I told him my my only joke at at the time Which was I was like, yo, I was like yo Eric You're hilarious. Can I tell you a joke? Obviously. He's like, yeah, sure. He's like, go ahead. And I was like. So Robin Williams walks into a bar, right? And the bartender says, hey, why the long face? And Robin Williams
says, because I'm going to kill myself. And I just stared at Eric Andre in the eyes. And then he was like. Yeah, all right Wow That should be a joke. He was like, you know, you think so? I mean that was also before I was a comedian. Well, I thought you were just gonna say I've been doing improv my whole life I was trying to stand up joke for him And he was just what
a dick. I've been doing improv for 31 years Yeah, it's like learn to appreciate if someone's telling you a joke it's supposed to be a gift to you and the universe Especially when I give people tags. I am literally tag nataro of Chicago I give people the best tags some take them some take them and the joke it's better the people that don't take them Joke continues to fail every time I have the best tags of anyone in the world. That's the best skill I have in comedy Stop doing
that. I just realized that's like no dude. Don't just go give people advice Well, I'm my ass dumb man. No, I learned people that aren't worth it like Ed towns. I Just feel like I know and want to be told no tags from my experience. I like being told tags Me too. If someone has a tag on one of my bits, it'll be funny. I'll take it. But I'm not a stuck -up Ed Towns or Brandon Kiefer. Even Albers will take tags. I love Albers. So he's doing a show with Courtney. That's cool.
What does it look like? Yeah, Matt Rife. I like Matt Rife. Yeah, she's like Matt wife. Matt wife. Nice. Matt life. Want to tell her that, dude? Matt Rife's kind of like Hitler, I feel like. He's not on a like he's like, okay, so Donald Donald Trump Hitler met right Hitler Kanye West Loves Hitler. He loves my right from Donald Trump. That was one of his lyrics was saying how can I How can I be Hitler when I'm up? And he said
an F and N word. That's what kind of really Dude Something I got super offended this week Trump or maybe last week, but Trump posted someone didn't AI of him as the Pope. Oh, yeah, and I was I'm a Catholic and I was so mad I was mad as well. I was like He's not not the pulp. No, it's like sometimes maybe keep it in the drafts Yeah, I was so mad. Maybe you keep that one in the drafts where you're the Pope Yeah, I was so mad How mad were you? I was like... If I could
just... Yeah, I said if I ever see Donald Trump, I'll punch him in the face, but I don't want to get an orange hand. Yeah, I know. You need to scrub your hands after. Yeah. If orange is the new black, then Trump is doing the new black face. Trump, I mean, Trump is the first black president. Might be the according to a black
person. This isn't me as a white man saying this a black person said this I forgot who I'm sure several black people have said this because Trump is a gangster Might be the prime minister of the 51st state if he's on this tracks. Yeah. Well Alberta is just gonna join us. I think Alberta sounds like I want Alberta. They seem cool as hell. They're nice Canadians No, Alberta is one of the provinces of Canada. It's their conservative one, and it's the one with all the oil. You don't
want them? They're kind of that. They're kind of... They're cool. They're like, I love maple syrup, and I like freedom. Cool. I don't like carbon taxes. Basic. Based. Basic. Basic. Bo whoa base dick. That's Sam Talents a base dick He's a dick at the in the base of him and but he pretends like he's a good guy Yeah Folks I'm talking to the loyal baddies up there at patreon .com slash bad comedy. I need you guys if Sam Talents ever in town Go to his show It'll be
a good show. He's shows are good Afterwards, he's a bad person though. So afterwards Walk up or there'll probably be a thing to get something signed or walk up to him because he's a he's a Cinco fan He wants to please all the fans But really himself in the process, right? He's but he says that he doesn't really care about anyone except for himself. So you walk up to him and say Hey, Sam damn glad to meet you. And then and then he'll start saying something and say
not. And then say, and then with your hand with your hand, if you're listening in on audio, scribble out, it's like a sign off thing and say, sincerely bad comedy podcast. And then he'll say he'll say you're one of you love one of those guys. Say love. He gets triggered by me. Well, yeah, cuz you were calling him like heavy weight right away. Well, he's fat over what is he not fat? Wait, do you like him? He pretended to be your friend and then abandoned you I Don't I don't
care for him. I like Nathan lawn still Even though that was a Jason thing Jason is fake Nathan Lund. I like the real Nathan Lund What do you think? What about Tim Gunn? Tim Gunn? Why doesn't he have a gun? Who's that in relation to? America's Next Tom Model, I think? Is that the guy with the white hair? Tim Gunn? I don't watch that show. Are you talking about Mike Pence? Yes, pretty much. Mike Pence? Same guy. One calls
his mom mother. Oh, dude. Remember that? debate when Mike Pence had a fly flying on him like during the debate. Yeah, I just saw some Ghana dating show like talking to a girl and a huge just like a beetle or something flew on his head and just made him look disgusting. You want to know why the fly was flying on his head? The fly smelled sulfur. How do you know that? Because I was in a room with Mike Pence. And he smelled like sulfur. Now listen to me. All right. This
was Three weeks ago. I was in DC You haven't seen Barack Obama out there much. She's kind of just so I was performing in DC. I was in the green room Barack Obama Mike Pence and Hillary Clinton walked in and They sat down and went Finally we can you know let loose and then all of a sudden their skin melted off and they were reptilian scaled people and the whole room smelled like sulfur. And then I said, I said, get a room. I said, get a room, guys. That was a good line
at that time. Right, but I was in the room. And then so I left the room and I was like, you know what, I'll give you the room. That's what I said. Wow. And then, but. You gave him the room. I gave him the room. Really, that's the main story, but. It was kind of, I'd say, kind of a weird night. No, I'd say that doesn't happen every day. This is the first time I'm talking about this publicly. Yikes. I haven't really been on
the radio much recently. So back on the radio and back on the radio waves, the frequencies. Right. And folks, if you are currently driving and listening, there's the Edens to the Edens to the post office is 30 30 minute delay and then Kennedy to the junction is not It's you
know, it's funny. They still podcast. They still have those traffic reports where they call The the highway should never be called these these names We know them as 90 and 94 55 But 55 is a Stevenson 94 is the Kennedy note 94 is Eden's 90s Kennedy But they still have traffic reports where they say the Kennedys to the junction. Dude, I don't know how high I am or was, but I saw Barack Obama presidential something. What was it? It was Barack Obama presidential tollway
or something. Oh, so I was thinking, has it been Barack Obama tollway for a long time? I just didn't know. So he's the one I just high and I didn't know he's the one charging us. He must be the one the heck It should be lizard Obama, but we'll talk about that on the patreon. It's like how long has it been? Obama tollway, I wouldn't want a mall or tollway never that's mean as fuck Yeah, if it says tollway, maybe highway, but if it says tollway that means like Barack Obama
ching. Thank you Life is a tollway. Yeah, you know my favorite road is The Jean -Baptiste Pointe du Sable Lakeshore Drive. Yeah, I used to have a bit as a mouthful. I used to have a bit where I was like. It was a bit where I would just go like. You guys heard they renamed Lakeshore Drive to Jean -Baptiste Pointe du Sable Lakeshore Boulevard Drive. It was I forgot the whole joke. It wrapped around, but I would add like a million things
to it. Then I would say something in between and then say the whole thing again Well This is actually I debuted that joke and so I would only go to North bar at the beginning At the very beginning and then I went to my buddies I went on there was my first tour outside of North bar and I crushed there that was where I debuted my gun joke first time At and my buddies at a black open mic at a gay bar And they crush and also I had a joke there about Being a get
being a gang member I forgot what it was about You do think gangs are funny though gangs of Chicago. Well, I've been around them when you're games when you're around them when you're Kind of consigliere to the black disciples you get a little bit of an insight You're that folks insight. It's unique Sexy, you just said folks
folk nation. I heard a woman asked a question He is a part of folk nation She started a video by saying like I have a question for the men folk and I was just thinking of all the men folk out there just salivating Oh, they're like GDN. They're like GDN gang. No, that's folk nations GDBD. People nation is folk Latin Kings. And they have the thing about the way how many can there be? The Latin Kings are smart because they just encompass every Latino person. What do you
mean encompass them? They let in anyone who's Latino, which means Mexican, Puerto Rican, whatever.
Then you like the Mexican mafia that's Mexican you have black disciple and you have all these black gangs that are all splintered And then it's just and then and then you have one big Hispanic gang That's why they're so formidable and then you got all the white people really what the heck is going on Yeah in Chicago they used to have the gay lords the popes fuckers yeah, it's actually Very Christian the the Pope's the gay lords Popes are kind of gay The Pope
was from Chicago or the new one. Yeah, we'll see if he's cool or not. You know He might be a might be a globalist. We'll see so I took classes at IO where IO Improv olympic. Oh, no He took improv classes He's a Zelensky. That's literally what I was gonna say. He's a Zelensky puppet No, that's for the patreon. That's for the patreon We can't talk about globalists in public no, it's just let's talk about The globe. Yeah, Sam talents. Tell me I was thinking about globes.
It's like Okay, I could just buy a globe a globe i do want a globe yeah why don't i have a globe in my house i have this should have one that's like electricity right here but it's just blue light and then you spin it and you know it's funny how basketball how small they make africa they make it disproportionate it's so much bigger than that so folks on the side while i'm the side wall i have the standard map how much bigger is it it's bigger than how it looks in there
it's enormous yeah Really, it's way better. It's like three times as big. Yeah Wow Does it still fit like a little cookie like South America fit into? It does yeah, it still fits in there. Well, it used to be pangea. Yeah, he's gay gay pangea It's a bit back in pangea. Everybody was gay as fuck. Oh gee days It was just kind of gay cavemen. Yeah gave him and they were like like Wee, gay. You know? Back in the day, everyone was Chinese, too. They were like, Harrow, gay!
It's like ever... China was the one continent. China... It's funny when... You know that the current CCP is the same government that Mao had? Wow. And like 50 million people died in that CCP? Wow. That's bad. I learned that recently and I was like meows a dong Yeah Communism kills way more people than fascism, which is kind of weird. I Was like telling Mac like let's we should
try not be political. Oh, no. No, I'm talking about ideologies It's all good though cuz no, I don't like fascism or communism I'm just saying communism kills more people. So Michael Cooper wants millions of people to die I think I heard like a an ad where's Michael Cooper's like a rapper and it was like and featuring like Michael
Cooper. Oh, no Yeah, bro folks if you don't know who Michael Cooper is he's a communist comedian on the scene who was like who has two teeth he lost his teeth eating gumballs and he's Anyone who's a communist is They want like yeah, we want all your money. Well, we want you to be forced to give your money up You know, won't you leave that under under the pillow? We'll see if anything gets left for you. Yeah, let's get that tooth It's like maybe maybe get to work
That's what I say. I say pull up your bootstraps To anybody who's a communist Anyone is who's an actual communist that doesn't doesn't have work ethic. None of them. I feel like it's the bootstraps thing. It's like people don't have those. Yeah, but. Sometimes they don't have. Sometimes they don't have them and then sometimes they don't have like even. Well, that's why you know that I started a new bootstrap line on the bad comedy store. Did we ever get a? Because
I'm still hoping to get. We wanted to be outfits
in the wooden shoes. We only got that we only got that donation from the billionaire how much was it five bucks Well, I mean he gave us five bucks he's a billionaire I mean, that's his fair share, you know, is that the suggested I mean he donated that's where it's like folks like Find some people that you know where it's like who has the money where they're just gonna do stuff with it Right find an eccentric just find an eccentric millionaire and say hey These guys
want wooden shoes and beekeeper outfits and we'll do the podcast the beekeeper outfits on we'll make a bunch of sketches We'll just do the podcast the beekeeper outfits on and it'll be funny and then what wooden shoes on Because definitely do that the reason we wanted the wooden shoes is because we have fans in the Netherlands and also in mainly in actually in Brussels in Belgium, and that's where that's where the EU Center is that's actually the globalist like headquarters
Do you think that Klaus Schwab is a big listener It could we have listeners right there We have some I think we have some Austrian listeners. I Like to look at the countries that listen and or that have listened to multiple episodes. I Like to look at the people Look at the people
that's the song, right? It should be a song Like John Hickok plays the Beatles on a rooftop every time I do blow with them or when we were first filming the jackass kids Dale was like this is like Lenin meeting McCartney me and you oh yeah folks like that's just what Dale said and I don't know he's like successful so yeah folks go to uh saw the storm just go to uh bad boy comedy page and find McCartney find the video of me and Dylan doing this prank at Lincoln Lodge where
we tell, we do a prank where we walk up to a comic and shake their hand all nice. And then I say, hey, how's it going? You're terrible at comedy. And they're like, what the heck? What the heck? And then it turns out the whole time they're on camera. The whole time you didn't even know. We did it with the suck. We did it with someone who was kind of big. You know that he's a career gambler to CJ Sullivan. Oh, that's funny. We just go into his face. He was a career.
Well, yeah, he was he was funny. He was like, Damn, I just got x'd. Wow. Yeah, you're right. And I was like, Yep, you did mutual respect with him. But we're kind of ahead of him. He's cool. He's way cooler than Sam talent. He's actually should do that to Sam town. He's an ex big time
alcoholic. I used to hang out at the back of North Bar with Jim the owner of North Bar and he'd be like He he would talk so quiet and there was a giant speaker right behind this the back of the bar and he'd be like He's like What what you'd be like TJ Miller Like what are you saying Jim and he'd be like a fireball Eventually it was funny because I saw the progression of Jim at North bar folks. This was the this was the
Fun bar in Chicago where you can go. It's where I started you could just say the most fucked up things that you want. Oh Like you can say that like I Hate what Hitler did but he followed his heart and I respect that that's where you can say that you can't say that at the Lincoln Lodge or the Bug eye theater, whatever it's called.
And then you got the fucking Annoyance, I'm not annoying enough to get in Folks if you're an aspiring stand -up comedian then Start a podcast We do there's need is there needs to be more podcast. There's not enough podcasts We need one that actually at least rivals us, you know like The last gazelle was clearly stolen by votes of a large Hispanic family that the gazelles don't matter. We want to that's all we need the
one to punch. The gazelles don't matter. What matters is what matters is notoriety and popularity. And that's us. Everyone knows who we are. I would have just kind of cemented it. But then everyone knows who we are. It's folks. It didn't hurt.
I went on stage and said it was stolen. And That that we're gonna do January 6th, yeah, we should do an award show on January 6th That'll be cool Anniversary or will storm the gazelles Yeah, we'll get a bunch of we'll rile up a bunch of maggot guys say the guys who beat up Jesse Smollett Or maybe just kind of we'll get the fake. We'll get the fake guys that beat up just the small way. No, we'll just get like red wine, blue fits. Sam hats, dude, Cuban cigars. You know what?
I think that Republicans need to evolve past the whatever they're wearing with the Make America Great Again hat. I like that. But Everyone should dress up like the guy from her. It's declassified. No, no. What's the Uncle Sam? Everyone should dress like Uncle Sam. We should get nice, awesome top hats. Yeah. And suspenders that are America. That's that's that's the that's a fashion. Yes. Yeah, no, you can do white and blue. No. Do you do your because folks, I don't know if you know
this, but Dylan's hiding some. He's got some hair down there now under his head. I'm not bald. It's just there's. Yeah, something. He's got devil horns, which kind of concerns me. Yeah, it's like, why does he want to have devil especially after I saw that whole Mike Pence, Obama, Hillary Clinton thing kind of worries me. I would need the cloaks. You're not creepy. You're not friends with them, are you? I wouldn't say. I wanna be, I don't wanna die in Obama's pond. He does have
a pond, yeah. And I would take the job if he hired me. You know how many bodies are in that pond? Normally, so I did the science, normally a pond of the size of his pond would evaporate in like probably a half a year, but he's got so many bodies in there. The bottom, that the water level keeps rising. I've been to me you'll make you a body of water and I took a sample of the water and I got back a thousand different
DNA samples of humans. Oh So I got some reptilian DNA so I think there might be some infighting chameleon and the different combos Well, we can't talk about that until the patreon Yeah, it's just kind of It's like kickball. It's like Strike your out. I saw someone playing dodgeball and they fake through it and then do it behind the back just Behind the back hard toss. Yeah, that's hard to do fire From far away though, and I'm
really good at ultimate frisbee Really? I remember that go go full yard or whatever you said I go yard with the yard Yeah, I mean with the with the backhand I can make it fly but I'm also I'm
also accurate. I'm also wicked backhand if I need to go from like behind a tree or around someone I'm pretty good with the forehand too but I'm amazing at landing a frisbee with the backhand it's it's wild I just tell everyone yeah I tell I tell everyone to go yard and then I just fling it and then it always does the right hook goes right around the defender and they grab it I look so stupid every time it's over
and it's so funny. It's like when I play Madden against people who think they're good at Madden and I never play but I just run curls and I'm so good at the timing timing the curl it's perfect it's all that matters and then I let snap and then I let John Madden pick my defense and just set the controller down and it makes people really mad you give interceptions yeah I do and then I grab the controller again people get really upset at me and people have people have gotten
upset at me a lot in my life and I say well sorry that I'm winning come here break wasn't need it Charlie Sheen talked about winning a lot yeah winning before even Trump really oh yeah winning he's like a Vatican Assassin warlock yeah Winning he was coked out of his mind probably barred out probably on everything He's probably doing the biggest like comedy gone TV kind of doing the best kinds of speedballs having aids having enough money to doesn't matter. Yeah We didn't
eat tiger blood. He said he had tiger blood. Yeah, what if that is code word for something? We'll talk about the patreon. Yeah, yeah We should warn these people if someone's talking about Oh, yeah, your lizard brain. I really shouldn't have told they talk about lizard brain. Maybe I should cut that story about Obama out from the regular episode while Obama and Hillary and Pence. I don't think I've tried to cut that out
and paste into the Patreon. No, I feel like they're definitely worried about what we're saying and going to act if they get that. Well, you know how the chances of them getting, you know, How AI works it'll it can find stuff and Bing? Email if it sees you've got mail. Yeah, Hillary. You've got mail. She's she loves emails. Was she in that movie? Is that Tom Hanks? Yeah for Hillary I want to see you got jail You've got jail. Yeah,
they got put her in a lizard jail. Yeah Well, yeah, no, it's like she needs a heat lamp a cage really She needs a heat lamp. It needs to be like a glass, a big glass. But it is prison. Right. It needs to be like where a bearded dragon would live. You get the heat lamp on top and then you get the little wooden thing you can go into. Like the little small shelter. And then... Well house on the prairie, but then they'll need a filter to follow sulfur smell More I'm all
about filters more filters in life. I Filter my water because I don't want I want Good water like good burger. Yeah less fluoride less whatever Shit is in the gross, Chicago. We do have the freshest water, some of the freshest water. We should make our own water. But Evanston water was better than Chicago water. Let's make some bad comedy water. We should. It'll have the Barney on it. Barney water. People call it Barney. Yeah, and if anybody tries to make me rebrand the podcast
cover, it's never gonna happen. No, it's beautiful Barney. It's that's a picture of my dad when he used to be a Barney So, I mean I was thinking of doing a dumb joke like based off yours where I'd say I was born purple and then it's like what was my dad thinking like My dad's at the birth and it's like his son is purple and he's not purple Is that your mom fucked the purpose of Barney? No fucked the McDonald Oh grimace. Yeah, like it'd be like then I'd say like are
you been fucking grimace? Yeah, just be a retarded like caricature of a comedian being like well you've been fucking grimace And just see how many people would laugh at it Yeah, like that joke. Tina Katana. Yeah, like I would be saying that like that same idea Do you think Tina Katana has any honor? She's Grimace's mom. Is she is she woke again? Has she changed her hair from purple to brown again? I feel it's like she's.
Did she change it back to a wild color? I think it's a chameleon kind of changes whatever day of the week it is. I think she's still as friend of mine though, but I would say to her. Hey, maybe she's a shape -shifter. That's Patreon stuff. Oh, yeah. I'm afraid of shape -shifters, you guys. Yeah. She's not a shape -shifter. Hey, guys, we're not Whoa Heidel, just so you know. That's why it's funny to me. Yeah, neither of
us are going to self -cancel ourselves. So if that story about Obama and Hillary and Mike Pence gets out, we're not self -canceling. I'm not self -canceling. You might get you might get canceled by affiliation. So I just want to make sure that they know what do you Have you have you been fucking grimace something you've been you've been fucking that grimace Yeah, why you been fucking there? You've been fucking grimace
again. She you got that purple hair. You've been fucking there grimace No, but my other catchphrase would be catchphrase. I kind of say when Yeah, maybe kind of a time when you want the audience to laugh or say or do an elaborate joke at the end say punch line in nice dance a or no no in deadpan say punch line punch line okay there's an instant banger punch line and catchphrase yeah I'm like the I'm the I'm the king designer
of comedy I know what fits into where. If I see a joke or a thing going on, I know exactly the missing pieces of the puzzle to put together. I'm like what Stephen Miller is to the Trump administration. I'm the guy who makes things