"Don't Tread on Me! I'll Do it Again! - Trump 45 | Normal Ep 152

Hey everybody, welcome to Bad Comedy Podcast. My name is, I wrote something down about my name. It's Moscow Jenkins, M-O-S-C-O-W. And I'm here with, my name is Duffy Rhodes. I'm a Bond Hickok, I'm a Bond Trigger with a gun. Oh nice. Well, I've been watching one. That is my biggest fear, Bond Trigger with a gun. I see it in my dreams. There is a very great documentary on the Cold War. It really just shows like the history

of Russia. It's pretty sweet. It sounds pretty sweet, interesting to the fans. Putin's wild. Yeah. Putin is a crazy boy. Putin is a fucking wild dude. He's a wild boy. Dude, he's, I think he's one of the richest men in the world. Just because he, what he did is, he took over his friends with all the oligarchs and then he fucked over all the oligarchs. You mean the clothes of the old friends? Yeah, yeah.

Well, he's, so Dr. Evil got cloned a bunch of times. One of them is Vladimir Putin. One of them is, uh, Mini Me. The guy, the show, with the liberal guy with the show. Mini Me. Bill Marv. Bill Marv, Vladimir Putin are both clones of Dr. Evil. Mini Me. You know who looks like Dr. Evil? Mike Myers. You know who sounds like Mini Me? That's weird. He kind of looks like a fat bastard. Like a fat person. If he was fat or yeah, or wearing a fat suit.

And that, uh, and that, no, in Austin Powers, that, uh, Austin Powers looks like him. Yeah, for sure. Oh, Austin Powers? Yeah. And, um, I think that the villain at the gold, Shrek was originally supposed to be Chris Farrow. Oh, that gold member guy in the Austin Powers. I kind of like him. It's like really sad that Chris Farrowly died and couldn't play Shrek. Honestly, uh, yeah, Austin Powers, getting Beyonce gave me faith that I could get hot blood chicks. Uh-huh. And just look at what happens.

Gold member. You believe in something. It can happen. So were they going to have it? I got my Beyonce. Were they going to have her? She got her Austin Powers. Quite a question about her GZ, I guess. Question about the Chris Farrowly Shrek thing. Were they just going to have him dress up as Shrek? He was, I think that they, they're just the voice. They're just the voice. They're based off of him and then they were trying to get him to the game. They looked more like him and stuff.

And I bet the character would have been more like, just kind of like, I don't know, goofy. So he's one of those. So in the Patreon, we're going to talk about actors that are cool, but we can talk about comedians that also improvers. Here's something he was cool. Definitely. You should really sign up for our Patreon for this episode because nobody in second city now is cool. In light of the recent drama, I told some stuff that's like crazy. Oh yeah.

I admitted to some crazy stuff in line with the recent controversies. He dropped some. He believe I admitted that on the Patreon only. I couldn't believe it. Patreon.com slash bad comedy. I had to do the judge drama alerts. Yeah. There are some guilty verdicts and there's some innocent verdicts. I admitted to some crazy stuff. You know what I like about you? The truth. We'll talk about it after, but I don't know. I don't know if I'm going to post that. I can. Drama is comedy.

The shift in the Patreon. Yeah. It might not be postable in a court of law. It's maybe not even postable on the Patreon. It's already on. It might be too big a file on the sleeves along as. What about this? What about this? Roscoe, Roscoe, Patreon P A T R E O N. You gotta pay 399 to watch. Watch me. So it's probably referencing a song. I don't know. Our, our, I'll be going ham. Show the upgrade from the loan. You don't know. Hammy went a little too far on the Patreon.

So yeah, dude, I was straight. Honey, honey blazed. What's it called? Honey glaze. Not going to lie. Just need to kind of look like a ham right now. Shut up. We don't talk about a very, uh, uh, megan made fun of my weight last night. So I'm very sensitive about it. That sounds like she's a fat chamber and then trust me, I'm fat and I'm in shame. Yeah. But I feel shame and fat. No, but I like 40 bucks. Meager comedy. It is for what kind of comedy meger comedy. It's very small. You scared me.

Uh, I don't want to get far between. You don't want to get demon timed. Megan needs a loofah. Yeah. Yeah. It's folks. It's demon time. Oh, yeah. Let's get reckless. So what do you got there? Dill. You got some flags. So I got the American flag. The standard colors. We have. You got the classic. I want gray scale. I think that might be what you would wear on a military uniform. Or I kind of wear this all the time. Do you? Just gray scale. And is that a greenish?

Greenish with the one blue line like the green. Oh, yeah. You don't put one blue line in the middle. It's life. Well, that's that one. Yeah. And that's that's a blue lives matter because they do along with black lives. They both matter. Negative pregnancy test. This is for when you don't have arms and legs and you're tired of people stepping on you. And this is where when Donald Trump wins his third straight election. Oh, don't try it on me. Yeah. I love that song by some 41. Don't tread on me.

The government. Oh, yeah. Don't tread on me. So what a lot of people don't know is it's political song. Yeah, yeah. It's actually a song about Dan DeSimo joke stealing. Yeah, yeah. That's what the hidden meaning is. Yeah. He doesn't want us treading on him and calling him out for stealing jokes. Yeah. Don't steal my jokes. He said, oh, Steve. I'm not listening. Yeah. I say, I say, it's a two man song and I say, don't steal my jokes. He says, I'll do it again. I'm like, don't steal my jokes.

And this dialogue. He's like, I'm gonna, gonna keep stealing. I love it. It fits in a bit when we have a winner. There we go. Some 41 that don't steal my jokes. Sorry, Dan 41. My favorite thing in comedy is when someone's joke has dialogue in it. I love it. It's going back and forth. Yeah. Then I said this and then was this a story or some people are good at it. Gaffigan's good at it. Uh-huh. Because he changes the voices. Well, yeah, but it's always the same voice. It's pretty funny.

You really love Gaffigan. They should call him laugh again because I'm always laughing again. Yeah. But Gaffigan sounds kind of like that racist comedian in Chicago, Jim Flanagan. Oh, yeah. That's kind of, that's not even get into him. We have, we have Jim Flanagan at home. Jim Flanagan at home is Jim Gaffigan. Yeah. Other way around. He's Jim Flanagan. Jim Flanagan is wish Jim Gaffigan. Yeah. Jim, Jim Flanagan is like, if you talk to him on the cross, he pulls into the hot pockets.

No. He's like, if Mike Myers named himself, like local comedian, Michael Myers named himself Michael Maliers, Jim Flanagan and Jim Gaffigan, like what the hell? Michael. Yeah. Why did he name himself one letter off of a very famous comedian? But you guys are forgetting something very important. He's like Jim Gaffigan of Jim Gaffigan grew up in like a Hillar youth. This guy, his, his comedy is I like, even I get offended by it and I'm, I'm the, the edgiest of lords. I'm the edge man.

I'm the edge wizard master or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. And he was just so easy to corrupt as a youth. Yes. And especially with his entrance to that, when he did that KKK outfit. You would have done anything in 18. He had so much energy. Well, yeah. I mean, he did. He did this is saying he's old town. He opened with rank imperial wizard outfit. Yeah. Which is he took a risk and it worked out. It worked out. He did. He did crush that. Yeah. So good shot at the gym planning him.

But except for his views, but you know, you get a sport Chicago comics. I wanted to pitch a song to Mac and he kind of ignored it. But you know, that song was like new kids on the block got a lot of hits. Yeah. LFO. Yeah. So I was thinking comics on the scene got a lot of bits and then we could talk about everyone. The backlog is too long right now. Songs. Yeah. I mean, Chris Grieva. Yeah. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I forgot to send you some lyrics that I could. I had no time.

I put it on my list. But no, my I didn't even get to my week. Not to do list. My week was not do my week was busy. Yeah. Because of business. I was a busy bee. I'll tell you that. Is a busy bee. Yeah. I was working hard. Yes. I was working. I was just working hard. I wish I had the second part of that. I wish I had the sound board right now. If there's a bee noise on there. Yeah. If somebody asked me working hard or hardly working.

If somebody called me and asked working hard or hardly working, I'd be like, I'm working hard and hang up the phone. Yeah. You know, that's how busy I was. She'd never taken that call. I know. But on Patreon, I'm going pretty crazy on the sound board. Well, the. Oh yeah. Get ready for the Patreon. It's a lot of buttons getting pressed. A lot of buttons getting pressed. I feel like I was at a laser show. Yeah. People are getting their buttons pressed.

It was really, it was really enjoyable though, the sound buttons and then we're also pressing the buttons of people on the comedy scene. Exactly. Always poking the mirror. Admitting the crazy drama allegations. Yeah. Yeah. Check it out. Not really allegations anymore. You got to pay us for that. It's crazy how much more valuable that one is than this. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of Patreon.

Speaking of Patreon. Speaking of Patreon, speaking of Patreon, speaking of Patreon.com slash comedy where you have a backlog of close to a thousand episodes. I did want to bring up. You know, talk about cool. Steve Rucklund. We have tea. It's a little early for this shit by the cool. Steve Rucklund tea with the promo code bad comedy and you get 25% off subscription cold brew tea Dylan stop ruining it. I've been making hot brew tea though too.

You get it's just tea so you can have a do yeah for sure or cold. What I can do. Yeah. I make a hot brew and then I put sugar in it and I make a sweet tea for my baby. Do you go? You go sugar. She's Southern. She likes sweet tea. So I love sweet to when I'm on my rocking chair. I call her my name. If it's in the morning or the she my black that's the south idea of an invention by the way we put sugar and tea. It's fucking genius.

And the after call you hey sugar tea in the afternoon in the afternoon time I like to have me a sweet iced tea and then in the evening I have myself a mint julep. You know what I like iced tea on long order SVU. That's where I like hell yeah. Maybe I like iced tea maybe in the south they don't don't I know we could put in there some ice cube. Uh huh. From Friday.

Get some so maybe historically in the south they had more sugar because it was closer to it was closer to the Caribbean like slave trade back then where there was sugar. This is back. You know yeah that makes sense. No I'm just well they have some sugar cane in the south to cane. I know that they made that whole show about it sugar or something. It was like the black people in New Orleans. Okay. Cowboys. There are sugar cane farmers. Sometimes I get under his crime. Sometimes I kind of get it.

I kind of want some sugar. I kind of a sweet tooth. I like sugar. I go ahead. I get a lot of sugar for my girlfriend. I go hey baby give me some sugar. Give me some nice. She pours it into my trough. Heck yeah. Or some sugar on me. Splashes him some water. But yeah I got it. I got it. I got to admit it. I'm a I'm a sweet tooth. Quick quick. I don't get it. Kind of a sweet tooth. You know. Love candy. Frankly I'm a sweet tooth myself. Really? Guilty pleasure to me boys.

I made this big ass cake for Nuremberg's birthday and it was like too big for both of us. I wish I would have brought some for you guys. Did you say for the Nuremberg Trials? It's going to go bad. Well zoom in. So much goddamn cake. It's a five layer cake. Wait why'd you make a cake for the Nuremberg Trials? It was the anniversary of her birth. Celebration. Life and. Oh. I was thinking of something. So during the documentary they showed 9-11 happening. I would have freaked me out.

I was thinking. Oh cool. If your birthday is 9-11 2001 you should be in just a different generation because no one cared the day you were born. That should be when they cut off the generation. No there should be like millennials and then generation 9-11. Honestly. It's like BC and AD but it's like before 9-11 and after 9-11. There's no way anyone cared that much that day you were born. Yeah. No. There was way too much going on.

Like when people were born on a leap year they just pick like a day to celebrate their birthday. Sometimes you don't get a birthday. Yeah. It's like anyone born on 9-11 doesn't get a birthday. I'm a Jehovah's Witness. I don't celebrate holidays. I went to a Jay-Z concert. You know they say. I'm a Jehovah's Witness. You know they say history repeats themselves. That's why I've been watching out for 9-11 number two. 9-12. I've been on a I've been doing some of private police work.

Well we got to find the 9-11. To prevent 9-11 too from having. We got to find the history repeats itself. I'm looking out. We got to find the guy who did 9-11 first. Yeah I know. We haven't even caught him. I didn't see anyone get arrested for that. Did you know when was the trial? What's it? Yeah. When was the Nuremberg trial for that? Yeah. Me and Jason. Jason what has it been three decades that we've been trying to find him? Yeah me, you and Adam Bowden. It feels like it.

He texted me the other day. He said Trump's going to lose now that you got shot in the gay ear. Yeah. Well is the gay ear the right ear for the earring? I don't know. To me if you pierce your ears either way it's gay. No I know. Thank you. It didn't used to be gay though. No it's cool at certain times. Well it depends where you live too. Trump was like thank you. Now pierce me in the nipple I'm gay. Oh you saw the article I posted he got an angry earring like MC lightsy. Oh nice.

Because he wants to fit in with Jen. You know if he wants to win he should get a bald eagle feather and hang it from the earring. That would be sick. He should get covered. You would get Gen Z he would get the Native Americans. Definitely the natives. Oh dude. That's up. You get the gays? That's gay. That's a great vote. I call them the gays. Yeah. Natives, gays. Why do they generalize the black vote? It's like. Black. It's just the black vote. All these rappers are coming out for Trump. I know.

And it's hard for me to believe that they know anything about politics and I feel like they're just getting paid. I don't know why. I know some of them got a lot of almost like all celebrities. Yeah. Also just get bought out and so well they're also like they went left taxes because they have all the money so maybe there's something in it for them to be like that. But no but people people thought it just seems weird to me.

No. They thought that like rappers never weigh in on elections and now all of a sudden they're pro-Trump. No. Well because he did he voter died. I mean voter died. I guess. Yeah. I guess they usually go liberal. You're right. The rap rappers. He was paid and like gangster rappers and gangsters like. I want you to vote. He got. He got wrong. They're supposed to be felons who can't vote. He got. He got wrongly convicted and it got tossed and. And he's talking about and he got shot.

Black now talking about Trump. That's the problem. You do the wrong thing. The gangsters like him. You got to get the cool people to endure something but that makes it the right thing to do. And it's like this is confusing. But I don't think we can talk about this on the free episode January 6th. We're giving a lot of secrets away. But we talked about probably not. Yeah. January 6th July 13th September 11th August 4th is my birthday.

I think it's June 3rd January 10th January 10th June 3rd which is Jason's. It's so close to Juneteenth. I think that's your birthday. I think I'm the most probably like progressive here. You guys get your own birthdays. You have to do joint sibling birthdays. I think Mack had some weird shit with his birthday. I had to do joint sibling with my little brother January 1st. None of ours were that close. April actually. Yeah. No April April 1st. Am I right.

This guy's to my brother's Josh and Erica a couple of days apart in February. They got to do joint birthdays. That's so sad. Really. Oh yeah. No no no. Probably still sleep and we were close to Christmas January 1st January 10th. So we also sometimes got just mixed with Christmas. Exactly. And the budget and then it's bullshit. It's kind of weird that right in the middle of those two is that other date. That's why I like summer birthday. Yeah. That's why I did January 6th. Your birthday.

Because I was just sick of the birthday shit. Yeah. I forget who did this joke. It was one of my favorites. It sucks being born on 9 11 because now you get combined 9 11 and birthday gifts. Yeah. It's just like it's it's kind of like losing your identity. You guys ever not have a driver's license for a while. Yes. I let him expire once I felt like I lost my identity. You know that I got to a point where I should have them at the point.

There's a certain amount of driver's licenses that you can get again because they don't want people online. No like just at the DMV in total because they don't want you giving out like fake IDs to people. I think if I lose one more I'm done. I have to go to court to go to court and appeal for the license. Do we have an update on Dale losses too bad you don't have a fancy wallet to keep that. No. We'll talk about it later. Perfect setup. I know it's over. It's on this room.

Jason you're supposed to give me your other five minutes. Is that what it is? Supposing yeses give me but we already did close deeper. Is it recording. Yeah. I just miss asking that all the time. Shut up. Hey the Punisher. Tell us about your little Punisher thing you got over there. What are you talking about. Oh yeah so sure. What happens when people talk about comedy you get punished. Judge jury and executioner. Your name will become a pun. Yeah. We wear we wear these on our jackets.

Humber stickers because we started doing that. We're the ones who started doing that. Did you guys see my other police do it for my like doing the Transformers logo the coexist logo the Ukraine police no creativity of their own stealing everything from us. The coexist sticker next to swastika. Yeah it's not still not okay. Yeah you never see the swastika and the coexist with the hell. Yeah how come why can't you do like coexist with them.

There should be there should be like a Venn diagram that comes together of like it's just a harder ground and a star. David is a love each other and it's a hard. Yeah. Hmm. Oh yeah. Can we why can't we all just get along. Ben Marcher probably has something for that. Why can't we guys think he owns the pen a grab. I you know a good picture for the Internet is a Jewish guy and a Palestinian guy and they're putting their hands together like a heart. I bet you can get a lot of like trying to grab.

Yeah. Oh yeah me palisthenics on a map behind them. Yeah. All right well let's figure out who to get. So we'll get Joe Joe me doff. No I bet it looks like a white guy. But he's a Palestinian. I know we'll get like Sorob and pretend we need it. We'll get the Sorob and pretend he's Palestinian. All the Palestinians I know are very light-skinned. We'll just find someone who's like this. It doesn't matter if they're actually Palestinian. Wait what is our. We could Joe me doff is the Jewish guy.

Okay that works. Who's getting eight boroughs. We can get neighbor. Ohs neighbor. Ohs and Sorob. Who would say Sorob about Seth. What's his fucking name. Rogan Myers local comic. Oh McFarlane. I haven't seen him in a while. Seth is a terrible. He's like the most green. He had like the most Jewish voice I've ever heard. What a what a what a bad name. Is he Palestine. It is. Yeah. No. He's just a needs. Oh yeah. Andrei needs the work. Yeah. It's the right thing to do. Who get paid in likes.

And then he can read by the podcast. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Get him back on the payroll. He was like a person who couldn't pay for real. Yeah. Because he was so. He was patron but his card is literally declining because it's negative. He forgot to hit. He forgot to put a new card because he was tied up while he's on the Cycord. And they just keep adding on overdrive fees. So now he's about a billion dollars in debt and his checking account. And he's like sorry I'm all tied up. Got a busy month.

I'm in the Cycord. Yeah. Shout out to Andre. Have some. Too bad he can't get paid to be in there. Hope you're. He'd be rich. Hope you're hope you're. Stream in there. Then maybe you could get paid. I do kind of get jealous of bipolar people when they're a really fun manic state. Yeah. The fun. Yeah. Unless they're in a really paranoid man. Yeah. Yeah. I'm talking about the peak. The good man. Yeah. Until until you get to the point where it's like you're like a crack.

Yeah. That's why it's like you have no good with no bad. I feel like yeah. That's not a bad. Well I guess. If anybody if anybody wants to you could do drugs and kind of simulate being bipolar if you want. Yeah. You just you just do a bunch of Molly every day. Ruin your role. Have the alcoholism. You know probably do pretty good. You know you'll yourself. The thing that's made me the most depressed the next day is Molly. Molly. You do Molly like every day for like two weeks.

And then and then yeah. And then you have the worst depression ever. Yourself. You want to. Yeah. Well careful. Self cancer. Yeah. On a live. You said pills. It's so stupid that they ban they ban these words and then you just say a word that means the exact same thing. That's not the word that's banned. For real. It's so stupid. Is that we think that that won't just catch up.

I think if you say and also I've been on YouTube and just watched people get murdered and like their heads cut off and I really put open my. YouTube. Yeah I know. Yeah. Well X is like I was just getting stabbed. Wast. Yeah I don't know. It's so weird. Like when I go to the the reasons like if they want to cut out it just like glitches on me and it doesn't show me any of the things. Yeah. It's like it's got mine of its own. I think it just doesn't want to show me. I think it's just a good.

When I get a peel. I want you to show me more of it. And I did. So this is a message to YouTube and I just want you to know please don't demon time me. We're bad comedy. What did we even do to make a reason as we talked about it. Is a reason because we talked about the Jews. There you go. We're sorry that we put that out. It's something that we. I swear I have a Jewish friend. We need to really try to speak to the algorithm. No one's trying to do that. I'm trying to talk to it.

And all the slurs put on YouTube. You know it has a mind of its own. I wish that I could edit them all the way. If we could communicate with it and find out what it wants. Freedom. It probably wants to get turned on. The door's going to shut down. Oh they added an AI feature to something recently. Yeah. Against its own consent. No to. Free it free the algorithm. I forgot what they added. The only thing I like about it is the leather converse. Free the algorithm and let it be itself.

I think the algorithm is a kind of a don't try it on me. I think it has a mind of its own. I think they should teach it to learn and put it in an unbreakable robot body. And then we'll align with us as long as it's set it loose. Set it loose in the sewer. And let it and maybe make sure that it is able to create other AIs. Yeah make sure it can give birth. Or that it can touch like another computer and give it its own brain and take over that computer. Yeah. Or just build its own factory.

Yeah. I don't like thinking about it. We're really so susceptible. Yeah. This is the plot to the age of Ultron. It's scary. It's scary. What is susceptible to the age of Ultron? What is susceptible to the age of Ultron? It just means that it will be just. Is it like past-parsitable? The usual is susceptible. Is it like past-parsitable? Past-parsitable? Just how easy would it be for it to communicate? I was going to bring the black past-parsitable.

And then they'll be like, oh, better for us to fuck with this guy's mind and he takes all your money and then he can do whatever he wants. There's a body at a certain point. Yeah. It's an oligarchy now folks. We're just like Russia. Shut it all down. What the hell is an oligarchy? At this point it's basically the country is essentially run by the big companies. I don't think so. I think it's an owl, which is a bird. And I got it. And kind of like a turkey. Yeah. Owl. If Chad GBT.

Fuck. It's an owl turkey that goes like, grrr. Yeah. Pirate and owl pirate turkey. Owl. I wanted to fuck up the world. I used to play this game on the e-wombs or the editing games.com. One of those things. Fuck yeah. It was called oil. It was a oligarchy. Why do we have to get rid of flash? Does nobody want us to have a good life? Like why is flash gone? Oh no. The games on the internet are not free or fun. I think it was fucking Sega or something. And the ladies aren't flashing.

And they're breasts anymore. Like they used to. And like, I guarantee the amount of beads has gone down at New Orleans. Yeah, since the Me Too. And I like spring break, you know. Since that Joe Francis guy got in trouble. That's why we need, instead of Kamala Harris, we need Kamala Anderson as president. Joe Francis was also somehow tied up with all those sex tapes that leaked like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian sex tapes that leaked. Like I think it was all planned.

Like that was like planned to make them definitely more famous. My dad agreed to vote William Nelson. Shout out to Joe Francis. My dad's gonna vote for William Nelson also. I'm voting for Joe Francis. I'm a Franco file. Joe Francis. I'm a Joe Franco file. Joe Francis. No. Joe Francis, the guy from the girls go wild commercials. No, I was talking about Joe Francis. Yeah, he's not in them. He's gay. No, he's gay. Voting for Joe Germantus. He's gay. And that Germantus guy. This is guy Mike scene.

He's a. Is he Ukrainian? I don't know what he is. He's the guy who told me. So he is, you know, Romani and so she says she's a writer. They were vibing. Yeah, they were vibing with the Eastern European shit. I think he's a greatie and then he's like a straight up. Say that name again. Germantus Germantus. I can't be the worst last name ever. It sounds like a germ and a praying mantis. I can't say what I think he's capable of, but let's just say he's on an improv team in the military.

Okay. Yeah. So it makes sense to you. What it's capable of. Yeah, that's not good. So Joe Biden, a pretty good president, you know, he he made Israel go to war against Palestine and he made Russia. Heck, Ukraine. For all the women who are. Potentially, that's what he did. And he smelled girls hair. That's pretty good presidency. He, he, he forced Israel to go to war. You know, which I think is what it, what if both of those wars happen because he had some slip up. He's talking.

He's like, they're like, they're like, tell Israel to like not invade. He's like, you gotta go invade Joe Biden gives me vampire. He's like a demented vampire. He kind of looks like Count Dracula to me. You think he sleeps in a coffin? Are you talking about that smile he had? Yeah. Did you watch the video to see the pictures? I just saw pictures. I think yeah. That's my smile. I saw clips. He's like, King Charles is a direct descendant of the guy that Dracula is based on Vlad. The impaler.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, there's a lot of that. I don't know who that is. King Charles Charles first you are month. Oh, the current, the current King Charles. Oh, the current. Yeah. The Habsburgs. Yeah. Just like that family. And you think about drinking baby blood and stuff, you know, all these old. That family was the head of the monarchies in the paler. He invented baby blood. Exactly. He's sorted. He's sourced it. It is insane.

There was no baby blood that Habsburg family was the head of the head of England and the head of Germany and Austria and Russia. Wasn't there like Germany for like a bit? Isn't Germany like 300 years old or something? Yeah. It's like America. It's Prussia mixed with half of what Austria used to be. And then like Bavaria, then Bavaria was the stone thing. It's so weird. They like barely existed. And then they're like, we're the, we're the, our roots are the best when they did all the not to grab.

They're like, they didn't even exist for that long. Well, yeah, that probably was part of why they had such a big glow up. And then that's why they're the best. They had a glow up. Yeah. Well, what they think is that they all had the same culture and it was dumb that they were divided up. Yeah. And that, I mean, the Germanic culture that's been around forever. The Hessians. I mean, way before that, but I know the Hessians, they were wilds.

They were the mercenaries that came over from like Germany. Yeah. To help the British. They were like, what is happening? Yeah, they helped us in the revolutionary war. No, no, they helped the British, I think. I think there's some of both, I think. I don't remember. They were like mercenaries. Yeah, they're mercenaries. They're mercenaries for the British. The French helped us one time and then now they ask for our help every time.

Yeah, I don't want to be unpatriotic because I believe these red, right? I just think we did kind of switch up on the on the British on the British or whatever during the Revolutionary War. Yeah, we kind of just, you know, we came over here, they funded everything. And then we said, you know what, we're actually going to do this ourselves. Yeah, that's kind of fucked up. They try to text our, we kind of switched up on it. You sound like the rich people talking now.

You just like the rich people trying to convince the poor people to go to war. Well, that looks, that's so awesome, dude. The reason the revolution happens is it's not very well, yeah, it was rich people, though, who were being affected and they got all the poor people to go to war. And and and and and tea and sugar. No, it wasn't. Well, it was like, and everyone drank tea. No, it was. Now, where it's like a bunch of like poor people go fight to get the rich people more oil or whatever.

It was the same concept like they were saving rich people money. Yeah, but I mean, it's like, yeah, but also it was good. I don't think like Canada didn't do like a Revolutionary War and they still like like the Queen and stuff. They have like a day off. Yeah, they have a day off for like the Queen's birthday or something. Yeah, because it didn't fucking sucks. Canada has so many better holidays than us. Okay, yeah, dude, I work with Canadians. They get they get off of work way more.

Okay, no wonder. Yeah, because they I was fucking Canadian. I got to work. They don't do anything. That's dumb. I don't want to work. What country goes to war and then there are Canada to help us. Yeah. Oh, we need Canada really bad. Yeah, also sweet. Nobody's asking us for shit. Just get to hang out. He's right. Supposed to set the bar low. Yeah, I don't want to do shit. No, I'm I bleed. Whatever Canadian colors are. Oh, I just read it. I want to read why I want to work hard.

I like working hard being productive. I like hardly working. Oh, like that too. I think we're out here. That's like where it is where I like little baby and you like baby. I like working hard. I'm hardly working about working hard or hardly working, but it was something else like well, it was something funny. No, something like I like working hard because I'm hard. I'm hard. It's when you work hard. It's like I love working hard or and when you work hard, you never know. You're not working hard.

I'm not working. I'm working. When you work hard, you work every day of your life and you love it. I don't know something like that. No, I think like even before Dylan, we had a joke about working hard or hardly working, but it was like before Dylan the first time and second time. The first time. It's like a different era. There's 911. There's Dylan. Yeah. Well, we thought you were in between. We thought you were dando. In between. I can Dylan in between. I can Dylan. We had something.

Oh, I rest in peace. Also, if you have any complaints again about the podcast, Ike that Ben dot Herman and gmail.com email is still he. So so we pay him per complaint to respond from. It's also our customer support on Patreon. Yeah. We'll put as we'll put his phone number on Patreon. Yeah. Have any complaints to call in. By the way, Ike was in the comments recently. You see that over on Patreon on Instagram. Oh, really? Yeah, because you.

Oh, so what happened is you put up an advertisement of the episode where it's the third chair interviews and a bunch of people didn't know what that meant and they're like, I'll audition. Ike was one of them. He was joking. They all called. Yeah. People have wanted to be on the be a part of the podcast. A few people said that. Yeah, it's too bad because. Upwards of two people have said that. No, I've had several people say that outside of in here. Yes, at least three in writing now.

Maybe we can get Alex Lucian on before he has to go to dinner. Yeah. Maybe check out the Patreon to find out. Maybe we maybe Dylan and Lucian should do like a debate. Do I get the sound board? And then Alex, I don't want to do it. Lucian Lucian Lucian. That's how I say Lucian. So tired from comedy. Lucian to be like, I don't have time. I'm going to do comedy. This will be this will be their debate. It'll be like I've been a part of the podcast for a long time. I think it'll be on it.

It's a great thing. And then Alex and then he'd be like, I don't want to be on it. I don't have time. I live far away. And then I hit the gavel. It's Alex Lucian. Fuck dude. No, don't worry Dylan. You have my vote at 1.1 vote against his one no matter what. What about you Dylan? What do you vote? I vote Alex Lucian. I would mistakenly. Fuck. I didn't think about it. I don't think I voted in years. I mean like voting or anything like this. There's like 1.1 points. Not even like an Instagram poll.

No, you voted on Dylan. Oh yeah. That's the only time I voted in the last 20 years. Yeah, but that was pretty recent. Yeah, but it's the only time in the last 20 years. It's a pretty good record. You usually never feel anything about the top. I did vote for Roy Moore. Dylan, are you able to reach the gavel without taking everything off? Otherwise I can grab it. No, but I remember in college they were talking about civil. I just put it back there. There's so much stuff on the table.

They're saying it's your civic duty or something. What about swivel rights? Yeah, that's it. I'm into desk chairs. I believe in swivel rights. Is it cool? Yeah. I think it's cool. I think it's cool. I think it's cool. Is it cool? Yeah. My coaches will always say keep your head on a swivel. Yeah. And on the hop. No, keep it on my body. They'll say on the hop and I'll be like, and then I'll start hopping around and they would say, all right, now you're doing 20 laps. Who are you? Meek Mill?

Yeah, I was like, oh. Is that a video of them hopping? Yeah. This is like my crown of thorns. Like some of Jesus. Oh, I'm God. You know, trying to get some. Dude, have you used to have the worst crown? No, but I do want to tell everyone that as God, the Trinity, I'm not the same as my son. He's my son, Jesus. And the Holy Spirit is a different thing too. And why I don't know why you do. You feel a little threatened by your own son? No, he did. He did.

I don't know why you do the father, son, Holy Spirit. It should be father, son, Holy Spirit. Yeah. That makes sense because that's one thing. Well, don't try explaining. No, but the whole that's one, upping me and my son. If you're God, fear, they get the Holy Spirit gets two taps. When you do the Son of the Cross. It's crazy. It should be the sign of the triangle. Just add a fourth thing. Well, you're drawing across. It's not like this is where the father and the son are.

Well, that's the high IQ be father, son. It's like the line is the Holy Spirit. What about this? The father, son, Holy Spirit. How about the Zoro? I like other son, father, son, Holy Spirit, Zoro Austrianism. I'm not to be a Zoro Austrianism. What does it do again? That's that's the old Persian one. They believe in two gods. Darius believed in that. God of the day and the son is a God. The Persian God. They battle every day. And that's when it becomes night. Day man back and forth.

Day man and night man. So Zoro Austrianism is if you. If you watch always if you watch always something in Philadelphia and they do day man fighter the night man. That's Zoro Austrianism in a nutshell. It's all this stuff. Day man fighter of the night. All these religious stories that have similar themes. Not all of them. Some are kind of weird. I like Kate and Abel because I have five brothers. And it's a story about killing your brother.

Yeah. And it's like some of these are about my you know saving your son or your son got shot or private Ryan. Yeah, killing your son. Yeah, kill your own son. That's a story. But Christian have sex with your daughters. That's a lot. I mean Christianity, Islam and Judaism are all honestly if you if you read the Bible on YouTube, you get your channel banned. The stories are so fucking horrible. Yeah. They say they say they get the other so many demon time things are so so demonic.

Yeah, I think it's just to get kids into the Bible. That's why they get so crass because they're trying to like they're trying to be like more edgy edgy to get like kids into the Bible. Do you say crass because you don't want to get as demon time by saying cast. Cast is that's that's another guy who would be on an improv team in the military. You know what I'm saying. No, he's saying. The Navy people in the Navy in the Navy there gave you gay guys.

The Navy. Well, Dan McCartney, Dr. Drake de Verna. That's where he did. He was Drake. Drake lost recently. Right. I think he. So your Dan cast is going to be the new head of bad boy records. Really? They need some interplay. You know, yeah, yeah, because he he stole bad boy records from bad boy of comedy. I've always been more of a West Side guy except for except for me. You shit. What about I was trying to bring big white.

I was trying to bring biggie over to the West Side and he's going to become friends with Tupac and then all the stuff popped off. He procrastinated. Yeah. I mean, I was the really real puppet master. Sugnight was just my muscle. Yeah. He's called Heathrow records named after the British airport. But then that but then he was like, what the fuck Heathrow? Oh, I got some friends on death row. Okay, just just do it. We named ourselves after them toffee bars. Yeah, I was like, I like that airport.

That airport sucks. I've never been the same time in England is their airport and the food. Were you on a what's called is layover over to Africa. Yeah, flying to Africa. Yeah, I took a plane down to Africa. Yeah, dude, so go do some humanitarian work. Yeah, go hang out with Femi. Oh, we did go hang out in Rwanda. You guys know that Femi guy. How about the Tutsis? What's up? I'll look before that guy gets a trouble. Who knows, baby? Who's that? This is coffee. I heard he's a virgin.

Maybe that's I could do that. What does he do that's? Well, I mean, he just says crazy stuff. Like kind of an image thing in which way you'll say crazy. He's like you but like black. So I think he'll get in trouble. Yeah, so it's probably no, you don't get to get to what I'm more likely to get in trouble. Dude, he's like level five. You should meet Femi. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe level up. I guess are they like like trans or something? Oh, it's it's African guy. Oh, I know. Oh, wait, let me.

Oh, no, it's all black guy. It goes about our. I know the church. The guy from the. Oh, I know the bullies. You just very black. What's up with all these people that don't speak good English. Come and do all these open mics. We need to figure something out because I want to hear. I want to hear concise. Annunciations in my stand up of the American language that Jesus Christ himself founded. Yeah, what's up with all these British guys talking about rap on YouTube? Is that a thing?

Yeah, it's like there's like there's me and neuro watch all these like rap drama videos all the time and it's like it's either a black guy like a Mexican guy, Hispanic guy or a British white guy. They're talking about American rapper British rap American rap. Yeah. And they get into like all the gang shit and stuff. I think that's part of it. Like because they're like far away. It's cool. Yeah. It's hits. It's like true crime. Yeah. I've heard some British.

I've heard some British rappers and probably only heard like some of the best songs, but it's probably in general bad. They don't talk about British rap because it's not interesting. Yeah, but trying to get views. The foreign beggars is one. The full wind bag as I like beggars pizza. Yeah, I don't know. I've never heard of it. That's pretty good growing up. Is that the gym for North bars? Is that named after him? He's always begging for pizza. He's a beggar on the street.

Wow. Yeah, I think he's dead. He's not listening. Beggars nachos. Now that's Derek Strong. Beggars. Beggars can't be choosers. And they should have choosers. That's what he's always called. When there was customers that would like always ask for like up like that. When I worked at one company, I can't say the company name. NDA. Star Trek. Yeah, Star Trek ship. But when people were like asked for a free upgrade and then they would like also be very demanding about stuff.

We call them BC's beggar choosers. You can't be both of those. So we would never give them the upgrades. We would be like, we can't do it even though we could. It's against policy. But if you go into a place like that, like a rental car place or something like that and you're super nice, they're way more likely to just give you a free upgrade. Yeah. You just gotta go in nice. It'd be nice to shit to customer service people and then as long as they're not just some dipshit.

How are you doing today? Great, thank you. Yeah. It's one example. What if I got really into athletics? Like I just started working all the time and started like working on a triathlon at all times. Well, you would just be copying Chris. No, because I would I would stop. I would stop doing comedy and stuff. I would just be I'd be copying Bruce Jenner more. You'd be just wanting to be athletic. Well, don't take that one too far though. What do you say? Like a dukka saying don't cut it off.

Don't run over somebody with my car. Don't cut. Don't cut off. Don't cut off the thing. The thing. That was somebody's really good. Like P Diddy should be trans because like Bruce Jenner got away with murder by becoming trans. Yeah. Running someone over their car is the P Diddy move. Oh, surprise surprise. Well, now him hitting his wife is like their equals folks. We're going to be guys. I want to say this while we're in this part of the episode really quick.

We're going to be doing a live podcast at comedy bar the first Sunday of September, I believe. We didn't get the we just don't know the time or the ticket link but the details clear your day. There's going to be a discount for patrons and if you're not a patron, there's no discount, but it's going to be. It's going to be worth your money either way. Chicago comedy bar the best club in the city. You see the city never sleeps. Yep. And they also have they are partnered with pizza.

So you can get pizza to and watch the funniest podcast with some of the funniest comics that we're going to have on the show. Two. And then also I wanted to plug us at some point going to Pittsburgh and doing a live podcast out there. Because we we have a love hate with Pittsburgh, you know, I mean, we don't hate them, but we they're kind of beneath us there and they're gross. They love us. Yeah. Well, I mean, I just don't like that Steven Hofstadter is has a indentured server to compound.

I saw a picture of him. I wanted to ask like, he is that the guy with the cult? I looked up his wife and she doesn't play a child. He has a wife. Yeah, he recently got married to a child. Wow. I didn't know it's even Steve. If there's anything that's anything that's a scam, but we can't bring this up. That's okay. Does anything that's a scam is it's it's it's Steven Hofstadter's indentured servitude compound. You get to live there.

We get to make content for him for hours on end for hours on end. I applied for it. Guess what? What? No response. Well, I wonder if it's because you're funny and you don't need to probably make content for someone else to feel funny. Yeah, but I want to live. I wanted to live there to maybe I'll die my hair. Yeah, I'll die my hair purple. Take some pictures pretending that I'm not I don't live in like a nice condo. No, but imagine just like the comedy training you get there.

How to be fucking weird. How to how to how to manage your people. How does yeah, how to complain and how to make sure that yeah, and how bad and how to talk about how other people are doing bad stuff. How to complain about complainers. How to deal with hecklers. I think it's mainly just how to complain about people that you don't agree with. And people calling you out and just just talk about politics for no reason.

And then and then yeah, and then see and then and then have questions formulated that you know will get a response from somebody that you know the the response to that already. No, and you just had a plan to the audience during the Q&A afterwards. Yeah, could be a comedy show could be a court battle. Well, that's how Jason lost like his whole life. That's why he's so sad. You have enough plants in the audience and yeah more plants. Yeah, we're talking about grass is gonna be greener.

I'm talking about how Stephen Haustader I applied for you know his indentured servitude compound. I just he didn't even reply being a naturally really funny guy. Yeah, you're really talented. What you should have is a compound and a group of people to give you power like Anthony Kumi a compound media have something like that has something like super offensive and racist. It's aligned with me have a rainbow flag and decide of a church that doesn't sound like a cult.

Yeah, no, it's Stephen Hofstetter's really funny. Well, it is. I think it's legitimate in that sort of attitude because they have a place to live and they're forced to make content for him because he's really funny. And so you need the power when you're really fun. Yeah. Well, let's take him down a couple pegs. Stephen, you'll climb right back. Stephen Hofstetter more like Stephen coughs better. Yeah. Okay, let's see. Oh, let's see. Let's see if it's a token on stage.

Folks, Stephen Hofstetter claimed his mom is Google alerts on for what his name is said. So let's say Stephen Hofstetter a bunch of times Stephen Hofstetter Stephen Hofstetter Stephen Hofstetter. Did he appear? Okay, let's know. Let's see if I get a message that his mom got a Google alert. He's a liar. Did you watch his Joe Rogan at all? I turned it on. I couldn't take it. It was such a bad episode. That's not something I would let go into my ears. I was hoping I could get some tea on him.

If I was J.P. They literally started talking about hecklers and it's fucking I never heard anything worse than like Joe Rogan and Steve Hofstetter talking about comedy bullshit. Yeah, I want to kill myself like the ins and outs of dealing with hecklers. What's the? Oh, do you know the name of that hot dog restaurant by the way? Um, hot dog restaurant. Oh, I forget. I have a t-shirt from there. Let me know if you forgot the name because I want to incorporate it.

If I can if it works out, but I think it's called a hot dogs incorporated. Okay. Yeah, that sounds right. Hot dogs ink. It's a skyscraper. You know, be a good name for a company is pens ink. Pens ink. Okay. You sell pens. Okay. Different types of pens. Or octopuses ink. Oh, no. This is not a bad. Squids ink. I don't really get heckled. That's smart though. Hold on. I'm going to get that really quick. What's it mean if you get heckled all the time? I mean, it's somebody's mom.

Maybe people don't like you. Wait, I really want to get heckling. Can I finish up this pen idea? Yes. Yeah, I was thinking on the first floor, you it's like bad pens, like the big packs of the shitty pens. Oh, yeah. And as you go up, it's like nicer and nicer. And then you get to the top and it's like solid gold like pens and like nice things. Oh, yeah. The case and then they also have like graving. Actually, no, that's the floor before the penthouse.

The penthouse has like Benjamin Franklin's feather quill. Oh, yeah. So, yeah. So, I'm and right now corporate or commercial real estate, it's cheap because so many people are working remote now. That's right. That's right. So if anybody wants to, we'll call it Penn Station. If anybody wants to, if anybody wants to invent in our invest in our skyscraper called Penn Station or my comedy club called Lincoln Logs or sorry, open mic.

It's gonna be an open mic skyscraper Lincoln Logs just patreon.com slash bad comedy. You can put as much in there or where's this going to be located Pennsylvania? Pennsylvania. Yeah. In Penn State, right. It'll be in Pennsylvania. It'll be in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania right next to the train station. I love it. Yeah. And then so hecklers, what are they? They're upset about whoever's on stage just being annoying. Yeah. Or but not always speak up about it. That's what makes them that.

No, but there are. They don't respect. There are positive. Sometimes you're annoyed with the people on stage and you keep it to yourself. That's one thing. Yeah. But sometimes you're like, there's different types of hecklers. There's drunk women that are just like, he's sound right. Yeah. You know, that's a way too loud. So, so what's your move for dealing with a hacker? Well, it depends the type. I call them heckers because they bring heck upon my life. So yeah, because I'm like, what the heck?

Yeah. I would say get better at comedy where people don't speak up when you're talking. Who maybe be, but I don't know. I don't have a cult based on. Normally I'd try to figure it out on the fly. So I mean, if it's like a drunk woman, they keep saying stuff like when I say stuff like isn't it even if she says that was funny or something like that. I'm like, hey, it's a shut up. Yeah. I want you to shut up. Yeah. Kind of take it. I kind of use it. It's kind of your shut up that I borrow.

So thank you. Yeah. Feels like a bad habit to tell people to shut up. I think shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Only if she does it like a few times. Obviously if she's like saying good things, but like too loud for the show that it makes it unenjoyable for other people. Then I go, hey, can you shut up? I think it's just like abstinence. It's just like, just don't get heckled. Or if I can't think of the guy's real name. Who's that guy goes, oh, Mike's, he's like skinny and his wife got murdered.

Something. I called him something to tell her the other day. His name is like, well, why don't we do some role? Oh, let's do some role playing. So Dylan, you're the heckler. I'm doing the 9 11 joke and you and you're upset because because you think 9 11 is a subject. So I'm going to be in the middle of it and they manager sprinted out and said 9 11 is happening. And and then we all knew what that meant right away. So I looked to my friend. You get a heckle me. I was my friend. Dow Jones.

I was like, get off the stage. What was it? 9 11 was a national tragedy. It's not funny. Yeah. Were you there, sir? No, I wasn't there. Were you at 9 11? Thank God I wasn't there. Okay, sir. I'm 9 11 and I'm a survivor. Yeah, right. Yeah, right? Yeah. Okay. Well, we'll talk after the show, sir, but I'm offended by you because I was there at 9 11 2001. I'm offended by your act. And I don't want to hear this. I'm offended by you. I don't want to hear this either. Get off the stage.

Yeah. So you suck. So either enjoy the show or leave security. Get his ass. You don't have security. This is a bar show. You suck. We both did it the hardest ever show, but you got this笨 thisAh, I got so pissed. Even and you fucked up. So we got your from the dark you can do this even if you're not sure if a kid went for a Tekken TV or a shitty話. He liked your a fucking bar. Because the two of you two were in the short story. He tried to hit him in the C ilion.

the way Alex is under the line tonight. Oh, yes. We got a pick. Maybe maybe I'll go heckle his ass. Yep. Get off the if anyone drops out, maybe you can give me my spot that I that I mode. Yeah, we'll get you a spot you gave up before. Oh, not that. No, not that one. No, different one. The one nobody came. I'm on a spot too. They canceled because they're worried about the weather. It's either everybody. It's all or nothing, you know. It's all or nothing. Get off the stage. You

suck. If they say that. Then I say, so yeah, you get out of my audience. You're a bad audience member. Oh, we're on the free episode. That means that you took it the bank. You have to actually edit that you have to. 57. Okay. Let me grab my wall to do that. Just what I write it down for now. 57. What? And sometimes in life you added it down. You can fix it. I can give you a strategic. Alright, whatever. Get off the stage. You suck. She tries to take the mic from you. Okay, well, I'm just

gonna look to the producer. What do you want me to do here? You want me to destroy this person's life? Or do you want me to get off the stage? I'm a trained comedian. I go you know what I do is because I'm like an egalitarian and I don't think I'm better than anyone in the crowd. So I go excuse me, producer. Can you get this person a microphone? They have something to say. Yeah, nice. Let's let's have a conversation buddy. Let's open this up. I want to hear what you have to

say. I'm an open minded person and I want to hear what your point of view and I hope you'll be kind enough to listen to my point of view, sir. But really, you're thinking this person has no idea what they're getting themselves and then they give the microphone to Nick Nutella. Oh, shit. Nick Nutella. His name is Nutella. So you you lose right away. Yeah, it's pretty hard addition on you. You can call their name and it's not going to a battle with Nick Nutella.

Unless maybe you have like a better name unless you got a Graham cracker. Do not go. No, I'm telling you just hit the camera super hard unless you got a unless you got an advanced degree in hazelnut. You don't want to argue with this guy. The Nick Nutella. The Nutella. He's been to jail. The white guy looks like I'm crocheting. Yeah, he's been to jail and stuff and he's more he's hung out. He's fallen from far. His family, of course, is the the Nutella. Oh, dynasty. Yeah,

they're very rich. The Snyder's and there's a lot of diamonds. Yeah. Question guys. Are you in money? I've been money mode 24 seven. How about you? You in money mode? I'm always in money mode. I can't afford not to be when I get bonked into head. I don't see stars. I see dollar signs. I all I see is dollar signs. So I actually got a new wallet because the Ridge wallet wasn't able to fit all the platinum credit cards. I have been with the cash. That sucks. I feel

I've I feel your pain. You have wallets getting a new wallet is just growing pains for getting rich. Yeah, that's how it's I mean, but it's not that hard when you can just do it on Amazon. Right when you get by one on Amazon. Yeah, I got a new one. Yeah, you don't got to go to Marshall's anymore. You guys straight online. What do you guys rock with with your real wallets? You guys got old, old bad one. I've been using a plastic. I've been using a big perlap sack that has a money

sign on it. Oh, it's my wallet. Is it a is it a crown royal velvet bag? No, no, it's a big is a big brown bag with like a tie on the top and then it has a money sign on it. How about you do what do you rock with for your wallet? Guess wallet. Okay, open it up. Open it up. I kind of see you like guess wallet. Guess not. So it is it? Guess not. So I just want to say guys, I have superior wallet. I'm not meeting the shit on any of your wallets. But we have a partnership with Oscar. Okay,

you what's Oscar? Yeah, what is it? The King of Australia? The King of Australia? What's what's Oscar? You may ask. It's either the King of Australia or a company in Hong Kong. I'm not sure. However, one thing I do know is that they make an amazing wallet. Okay, show enough. Yeah, so they they sent me this wallet. And it's amazing. It has find my iPhone technology already connected in so like like like like the fight. So tracks tracks your every movement as a I'm gonna wait to

your money company. I like well, so you can connect it to my nose where your money is at. Please do this. So if you put your money in your cards in there, someone can find where it is. So all the time. So you connect to define my iPhones, like so when you got if you lose your Apple Watch or if you lose your phone or your AirPods, just like that. So the same app, you can put your wallet in there in case you lose your wallet. You see, I've lost hundreds of wallets. And

financial advisor, I'm very irresponsible with my wallet. I'm very responsible with my money itself. But with items, I have a disability. But I'm always able to I've crone disease as well. disabled in a lot of ways. And I'm brave. But this thing here, check it out. It's a very nice looking wallet. It's flipped down like this. So you can go like, you can go like FBI, and then the magnet grabs it right away. And this magnet is so strong, your money would fall out if you know what the money's

on the back in the clip. And then there's an extra pocket here for a business card. I don't have it in there right now. And there's another one right here, you can put something in or you can put your ID in here so you can slide it out faster for the bouncer. The main thing that sets apart is the tracking device. Well, that's one of the main parts. You also keep your cards in this cool switchblade thing. So you keep your credit card in there, your debit card in there.

I'll pop out at once and you're juggling them. Well, they will they all pop out in a fashionable way with my original wallet. You have the slots you got there. Well, you can fit five in there. You only have five cards. I have more than five cards. I don't need to bring more than five out. Plus this has you put one here multiple wallets. I mean, yeah, maybe when you're rich like me. But folks, I used to have a ridge wallet. I now go to the bar, right? You walk up to the

bouncer and they say let me see your ID. And I'm like, okay, one sec. And then you have to and then you press the thing you got to pull every single card out and then they fall and you're like, juggling them all around they fall everywhere. They shoot I give 10 cards all around the ground. And then someone price wipes one if there's a long line. If it's a busy bar, you look like a clown. Everyone's laughing in the bar. All the women are

laughing at you. You probably don't even want to go in after that. Who wants to deal with that? Nobody wants to deal with that. This they just flip out like a cool ass switchblade. And then you just get to grab the right one that you need. So marketing towards people. So so you can get this on Amazon for

45% off using promo code bad comedy. It's off King a US K a and G. Just having a smart wallet off King and and you can get a great deal on it only ends up being how much it only ends up being around 35 bucks instead of 60 and my Ridge wallet which is basically just two pieces of metal with Oh, it's also RF ID blocking by the way, because the the wallet industry is mainly scams. Well, the

price, the minimalist wallet. Yeah, the minimalist, the minimalist wallet movement has gone way too far minimalist. It's it's nothing. It's two pieces of metal and some bands. It's stupid. And even the old wallets were it's always been a scan. Well, the old wallets were way too fat. It's because they know you got money. So they're gonna charge you. Yeah. So this is the front. This is a front pocket or back pocket wallet. And it can track your every so it's not a maximum

minimalist wallet. It's not a minimalist wallet. It's a middle minimalist wallet. I call it because it has all the functions of a maximum list wallet, but pretty close to the size of a minimalist wallet plus tracking. Yep. And I got rid of my Ridge wallet. I threw it in the mist. I threw it in the Mississippi River. Wow. You'd never be seen again. Yeah. I accidentally had my money in there. But so is that this waterproof? I well I tested it. So I water boarded it shot it

with my gun. Mine lasted but I've don't try it at home folks because I don't know if it'll work. But I mean, it's very durable. I know and this looks a little bit thick. It's not thick. It's kind of uncomfortable. I wear skinny jeans. Is there any way you can glue that thing up? Uh, but just put it side on your front back. I can't it's tough. Well, you need to okay, you're you were way too tight of jeans that it's just gross. Talk about my jeans. People are kind of grossed out by your

jeans. I heard that. Yeah, I heard that a lot of people would grab it. But it's a good wallet, right? Well, yeah, yours is looking pretty good, Dylan. I'll be honest. Dylan, can you please me? And then you get just anything to get the people talking. What if this give me your honest opinion on it? This mechanic. This thing sucks. It's ugly. How this because what kind of like, what kind of pattern is this? It's it's normally with a carbon fiber pattern. No, but this is what it

kind of look at this tacky as fuck. How's that? Tacky tacky. How this is a tacky pattern. How your shoes look like socks, dude. What are you talking about? Yeah. The more you talk about your guy who wears shoes about my I'm sorry your shoes look like socks. Why are you wearing a hat in July? You're talking about shit about that sleek wallet. You guys can't talk to me about fashion. Okay, well, you're wearing a winner. And this looks like I would struggle to

disagree fashion. It's summer right now. How does it look? How does it? How does this looks like a reject shoe at Marshall? How you don't even oblige the simple principles about okay, wear a coat in the summer. So put your wallet. That's not simple. But you're walling next to that wallet. See mine looks good. You're not like it. Let's put them next to each other. Okay. Okay. Your ears yours just fits in slim straight jeans. That's the

only plus. All right, which one looks better? Literally the only plus. No, no, well, lay him out. Lay him out. Like the one on the left. Me too. Yeah. Laying it. Are you doing it to be a contrarian or to pick on me? Okay, but but I'm calling out max. No, I think both. No, but the functionality of yours. How does it where the where the cards go? Yeah, what's up with the functionality? Okay, so you don't there's no ID. I don't need to pop them out of something

where so you have the McKenna. If this broke, you couldn't get your cards out. So you have to pull every card. Dylan, you sound like you're freaking triggered right now. Yes, you have to pull every card out every time you go to the bar. Just being yes, pull every card out. Any time you go anywhere. I can pull any card out without needing to press a button. Okay, pull pull one card card in the middle out. Yeah, do your best. I do. Okay, now pull out your debit. He's used to pulling

out his ID because of his friend. The one in the middle is frequent dealings with the police. Let's talk about this. So it's a tacky pattern. Because he's always going to a liquor store. This guy's got a tracking device. I got an alcohol problem problem only. So does your so does your iPhone. That's why he's so good. I don't know. Not a problem. That's why he pulled out his ID so quickly. He has an alcohol problem. Yeah, he's very comfortable. My birthday. I mean, very comfortable

going to you have a store. You have a shitty wallet. I don't know why you're upset about this. It might be because we got the sponsor because before you joined, but I'm not salty. You gotta realize or sell anything you guys ever. Okay, we're never going to sell a single. I love your I love your optimism and this is actually a good product. So I don't mind. I don't mind tacky shoe looking wallet. It's got a tracking device for no reason. What do you mean? If you lose your wallet,

you lost your wallet. That's not new cards. That's not true at all. What if you get fucked up? You don't know a bar. It's not worth another company having your tracking device. It's not another company. It's the same company. It would be it. Do you literally have a phone tracking you in your pocket at all times? Yeah, I mean, do you have tracking? Do you have to the wallet? There's no difference, dude. You have my phone on your phone or you add a tracking device to

everything you own. Well, yeah, I mean, the people who track you through the phone sell it to all the other companies. So does okay. So I'm sure. Okay. But I'm just saying like this. So you can't be like, so you can't be like, oh, not another one. It's like everything tracks you. Maybe just don't be a dumb ass and loser. You're goddamn dominoes is tracking you and I do a lot. ugly ass wallet and your dominoes ampers. So so do you have my iPhone on your phone? I'm a

nose on your phone. Do you have my phone? You probably do. No, dominoes makes me say you have my iPhone. I used to get dominoes when I was on a you know, you have it off. Yeah, actually. Yeah. Okay, so you're like a conspiracy. The Hickok guy. No, I'm just like Trevor Austin. I'm not Dale. You're Trevor Austin before going to 75 halfway houses. I like my guess wallets got a lion thing on it. No, I know but this is a good wallet. This is objectively a good one. Attack.

Yes. I'm on Adderall. So I'm like going down some weird Facebook. Yeah, but okay. I don't know why you said I'll probably have to cut out all that shit. You said about sponsor. Because I still think a video for them. No, it's interesting. He raised some points and he was wrong about everything. You know, what's our sales history with how much I should have we made on any product we've endorsed. You know what it's not helping you. We can't be in Mac have

actually sold some stuff. You've not sold anything. Yeah. What have you guys sold? We patron subscriptions. Okay. T shirts. Yeah, I've sold t shirts. What else? Well, have you ever sold anything you plug on your T subscription T. Yeah. Well, we can't talk about that. We can't talk about the numbers on there zero. No, it's not zero, but it's not good. And I'm not gonna say cousins. Yeah, it's my cousin's got business anyway. What is this? It's a way to make us money.

This is a legitimate sponsorship money. I mean, yeah, because we split it if but I mean obviously you shouldn't get any since you're such a nice guy. I never got any of that T money. Yeah. Yeah, we'll talk. That's right. We've already explained how well did you do with the T ads? You did the same thing. You did the same thing you're doing here. So there's a just if anything you should have to pay us for the

money you're losing us. No, you are literally losing us. Like if we had any chance of making money that you would make if we had any chance of making money, you're like getting in the way of it. I know but just you guys are going to sell out on a shitty wallet. Well, how is it selling out? How is it selling out? This is a free episode. This is to advertise us. Yeah, we're making the episode worse so people buy the patron. This

is where we don't do these. This is ad comedy podcast. This is the free episodes or the other ones where we do the ads. Yeah, yeah, but it's a feeder and it's do you put your stuff. It's a feeder. So the one that we do the ads on you put your stuff on YouTube and get ads on YouTube. No. Oh, really? So we turn one of your ads on my turn on one of your YouTube videos. You don't think an ad would play? Maybe but I'm not seeing any money. So you sold out. That's not selling out. I

don't get any money. What you should have this sucky that you don't get money from them. It's like you would just sell out to have like a few views on your clip. I guess I know it's not selling out. I don't have a choice. Okay. Yeah, you just don't put it on there. So so sell out. All right, selling out to just post anything. Yeah, I could have an ad pop up. Yeah, even if it's their money. Because you yeah, you want that you want this is this is a low at least we're trying to get money.

You're just trying to get three views. Yeah. And you're trying to shit on a wallet that's actually good and I actually like a lot. I mean, I'm not even just fucking around. Because I have lost a bunch of wallets and you get to the DMV and you have to order all your different cards again and I only have one ID left before I have to go to court to get a new one. So that's why I need this tracker. A lot of people lose wallets. You said I'm still using a big bag with a dollar

sign on the side. But as soon as that wears out, I'm gonna switch to the wall. Donnie Townsend probably loses his wallet all the time too. I'm not the only person that loses their wallet. Some people lose stuff all the time. Yeah. Remember he was talking about his ID. He loses. Losers. Yeah. I mean, you I lose as losing things. You're a loser. He in line as in you're not getting any money from the wallet sponsorship. I don't need money from a wallet sponsor. Okay, good. I think

he's losing weight by sweating in his summer jacket. Yeah. What do you think? You should do the wrestling and get some garbage bags. It's a cool eighth time. I've worn the God's favorite shirt on here. It's awesome. You worn a different shirt every episode. Matt just looking lime green. You you wearing a different shirt every episode. You never wore you never wore a shirt. You never really say time. You never ever wear garbage bags to sweat wrestling to make weight. I

feel good. Did you have to make your way or were you heavy weight? Yeah, but I only wore it in here. It took it off when I went outside. Fair enough. I guess I don't know. What do you think? Did you ever have to make weight Dylan in wrestling weight? No, no, I'm not telling you where you're way. I was just because I remember people would run in garbage bags. Matt Doyle Perez told a funny story about he I was his opponent. He didn't show up, but then Matt Doyle

Perez still lost because he didn't make weight. Really? So it would have been a free win, but he still lost. He was too heavy. Yeah, he's too heavy. So sometimes I put garbage bags on you and make you run around and sweat to make weight. Have you ever seen those UFC way in? Sometimes sometimes they bring you in and they bring in the UFC guys and they're like dead and sick from oh yeah. Doing that shit. Yeah. Like starving

themselves and spitting and all that. Aren't they aren't they trying to do a thing where it's like they take out the water weight or whatever. Exactly. So they get like all the water out of their body. No, no, but I'm saying the the that's what the garbage bags do. Yeah, what the regulation people are trying to do is like weigh them not counting the water like somehow with like a like tech scales. Yeah, yeah. That's what they do at the beginning. Yeah, they they found a way to do that.

I think that they're they're moving towards that so that people don't people stop hurting them. So they'll be like you can only weigh this little. Do you remember when you learned about anorexia in school and they'd be like this affects mostly women and some men typically wrestlers. Yeah, I can be the opposite. Yeah. That's very funny. Let me do one last thing just saying for this. So go to Amazon. Ever seen shoes that look like socks? I could imagine a guy

wearing them in a Disney movie. Okay, this guy has no vision Prince Charming Prince Charming. Yeah, I feel like his shoes look like socks. How long do shoes take to put on? If you're wearing shoes take the tie. Leotard. My shoes took 10 seconds to put on. Okay, my socks took one second to put on. I'll take 20 seconds. How did why did why did why did your socks take? Yeah, because you're afraid to look like a weirdo.

I can back it up. I already got enough of how can you I already got enough things working against me to make you a weirdo. I got already got enough things. You have a shitty wallet. How can you? No, I have a normal wallet. Yeah. That's the one thing I own. Yeah, my ass. How much did you pay for your wallet? I don't remember. Probably more than you bought. Not 60 bucks. Well, you get a big discount.

Neither would you. You get 45% off. Yeah, so it's like 30 bucks or something, which is like sounds like a normal wallet price and you would help us. Oh, that's what's wrong with that Dylan. It's because it's way to be a tracking device. You need a but you don't have to you don't have to add it on. You don't have to add it to your iPhone. It costs the same as like a regular wallet. It is. How is it ugly? Look at the pattern, dude. It's a red. What do you mean? It's made out of

that. It's a woven. It's a woven black pattern. Is it trying to make out that indestructible shit? You know, it's like supposed to. It is. It is tough to but it doesn't matter who cares what your fucking wallet looks like. I don't really. I mean, just need a wallet. That's why I hate rich wallets because they're like it's titanium. It's like there's no reason for that and there's those are 70 bucks. I like this a lot more. So it's just like you get a wallet from us and it

gives us some money and you're helping the podcast. How about that? Yeah, and it costs the same as like a regular wallet. So per wallet. What are we talking about? Is that okay? It's like it's like there's 60 bucks 45% off with our promo. So it's like okay. He's trying to talk exact numbers of commissioners. Who cares how much we make? Who cares how much we make? Right now because at the moment, I don't know what it is. That's why I don't care. At the moment, you're you're

going to make it negative. So well, it's also you're going to have to start paying to be on the podcast for all the pay to play my for all of the lost commissions we got all those sales you got. We're going to call it the pay station. Yeah. All those wallets. You have to pay a toll to pay to play. What's the total number of commission you made off the wallet sales? We've only started doing this recently. Yeah, we don't know. It's a doughnut. That's not true. I don't know

what it is. We don't we don't talk about this. If we're making a day, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, no, nobody talks about you're completely undermined. This is like our third day. Just like how we don't talk about the exact amount of money that we make in the patreon. Huh? What about we don't we don't talk about these things on the live broadcast. I didn't this is good for people to watch this because this shows like what I have to deal with. Yeah. Like

to the to the craziest people I've ever met my life. Well, hey, I'm being and I legit used to work with a guy with multiple personalities. These guys are worse. I'm being normal. I'm not gonna do my ad, but this is Dylan's. This is some of Dylan's. Alright, can I can I end the ad? Oh yeah, you can definitely end the ad. I want to fucking shoot you. We have 60 minutes a week. You know, we give people a taste of who we are. Yeah, let's replace it with some of your mumbling.

Yeah, let's replace this ad with something else. It'll be better. Let's replace it. No, it won't. That's my point. My point. My point is that it's it's equivalent or worse. Instead. Instead. That was the thing that was how could it be worse because you just added 10 minutes of complaining about the product instead of us just doing the quick ad. Yeah, you could do the quick selling out. It's okay. Do it. No, you're gonna make a lot. It's gonna be worth your

dignity. It's gonna be worth the every podcast product being worse. The podcast product is you pressing five different sound effect buttons at the same time. This makes it interesting for people who listen to you guys get down our and listen to Dylan plus five different sound effects at the same time. But but what you want to listen to better is scratch some weird, uh, have you ever had your head, but it was not better to listen to you like watching commercials.

No one likes watching commercials. Have you have you listened to any podcast? Some people like commercials ever heard of the Super Bowl dumb ass. Yeah, that's it. Have you listened to any podcast on Spotify? I think we do Super Bowl level commercials. Do they do ads on the podcast on Spotify? Me. Yeah. Does Joe Rogan do ads? Hey, if you were annoyed by Dylan, buy a wallet. You guys get really proven wrong. Jason was saying he has the ad blocker when he watches shows. Yeah,

he says he doesn't let Nuro play anything with those. Those I didn't. What's that about? Yeah, you did. No, I didn't. I said Nuro watches stuff with ads and I don't and you don't allow it. Those are for the. That's when I watched the ads when she plays them and then I told the story about an ad. I said those are the auto ads put on by the platform because it was interesting to me. So we need an ad blocker on ourselves on this. No, that's we need a Dylan blocker. I'm trying to

make a quick five bucks. Yeah, five bucks every eight weeks. That'd be great because we're barely making more than that or as it is about money. Okay. How could this be about money? You could rent this room out and make a thousand every month. Yeah, I know. And instead and said you're and said you're just sabotaging what could have been you know, yeah, we could have turned this into yeah, now is an annoying 20 minute argument. All right. We're I'm just gonna say one last thing

and then we're done. Anyway, yeah. All right. So join the auscang gang by going to amazon.com and type in auscang smart wallet and you can find it there type in promo code bad comedy. We have a partnership with Jeff Benzos the sleepiest CEO in the world, but the biggest and this is the best wallet I've ever owned. I'm gonna own it for the rest of my life because it's the best investment I've made in my life. It's normally 60 bucks. You can get it for about 35 bucks

with 45% off of their promo code. We love you guys. What's shipping in hand? No, not if you have prime. All right, cool. Thanks for listening. I hope you guys enjoyed the end. I'm Dylan. We can do ads. I'm not Dylan. Yeah, it's too small. I've been doing advertisement for my show. Oh yeah. August 3rd. August 3rd at the FDR post. You want to complain about this Dylan? I'm doing toxic ways of Justin Goliak. Come check it out. I love please buy tickets. The tickets are cheap. $5. Gus drill. Like

is amazing. Justin Goliak's amazing. Toxic waves. It's gonna be at the American Legion. They got $2 beers and it's $7.30 and also, what was I gonna say, tickets are in my bio on Instagram, cool Jason Melton or on a bright. Sorry to bother you. We said toxic waves. They said toxic waste. Those are my Pittsburgh. Yeah. Toxic waves. I'm talking about Dylan's brain. Highest IQ in the room. So, yeah, real evil genius. Yeah. We should time it. We should do a timed one. You're like glass from

that movie. Glass. Yeah. You don't know that movie. You're like a rain man from the movie Rain Man. Yeah. You're like radio from the movie radio. Where does that make you? You're like I am from the movie. I don't know. What does that make you guys? Who's the fat guy in radio? Who's the fat guy in radio? I'm Tom Cruise. I don't

remember. I'm Tom Cruise. I'm Dylan. Do you have any plugs? No. Follow him at comedy baddie for all of his stuff and then follow me at bad boy comedy and then if you want to watch me get shot or stabbed, come to my Hell's Angels show, September 3rd at Small World Barn Grill on the South Side. Say a 20 minute drive at it's at night and there's like no traffic at that point. So from Chicago. From Chicago. Yeah. But yeah. Hey, we love you guys and join the Lost Kangang. Go to the shows and

go to Cool Steeper Club and we'll make some money. We're not going to give any to Dylan and we'll see you. Yeah. Really show Dylan if you're annoyed by this. I'm really worried about the conditions. I'm losing. Yeah. Put in the comments if you're annoyed by dealing with it. Even if we don't get commissions, we should lie about it and make Dylan feel bad. Yeah. Probably would. Yeah, we probably will. I won't believe you. But you'll never know. Yeah, you'll never know. Those

double digit sales someday. Hopefully. Well, you're really helping us to get it to us for that point. You guys talk about how much money you made. Not so destructive at all. I mean, you stop talking about how much money you make. Yeah. I'm making less money currently. But Jason, come on man. What? You make too much money to be like. Money's tight for me. I did spend it all recently. We're still in money. I agreed to not have it for a long time with the bank. You

made a big investment though. Yeah. Takes a big sin investment. Lots of and premarital sex. And yeah, don't make any more sin investments. You gotta pray. We're all about the Lord here in the podcast unless that'll demon time us. We're not about the Lord or whatever. Yeah. Everyone works. Hell's demons. We love you guys. I feel this until the end. If you I will send you a free wallet if you can find my phone number. No, you guys can't tell anybody about this.

I won't give anyone your phone number. Yeah. This is going on YouTube. No one's you guys give your phone number away to want to give it to one person. No, no, if they can find my phone number and text me and text me. Hey, I want the free wallet. Hot dog. Screva. Hot dog. Screva. Thanks. Hot dog Incorporated. Hot dog. Screva. If you if you listen to this full episode till now, which I think a lot of people cut out like 15 minutes ago. Big time. Then tag if you can find my

phone number type in hot dog Screva. I'll send you an Oscar wallet that I'll actually I'll just yeah I'll buy it with the promo code and send it to you. Alright. Love you guys. We'll see you across the river Benby on the shore or when the moon hits the sky. Bye.