Hey folks, welcome to the Bad Comedy Podcast. My name is Mack and I'm here with Dylan Internet, the number one influencer. Number one. So if you're a new listener, welcome to the first day of the rest of your life. Your life is going to be changed forever. Welcome to your life as tears for fears would say. You're welcome. There's no turning back. Everybody wants to rule the world and you can too at patreon.com slash bad comedy.
It's 399 until end of October for every episode we've ever made like 500 300 to 500 somewhere in that range. It's roughly hundreds and yeah, but fire sale basically. Yeah, it's it's going to go up though because Apple is dean us down with their extra fees. So any new patrons only new people have to pay more a dollar more a month coming November 1st. But if you're currently a patron, you're all you're all good and we love you.
You're thinking about becoming one now is the time and if you're not a patron, then don't even bother listening to us. We hate you. Yeah. Honestly, go listen to Joan and Jerkins podcast. And I feel like we should limit how many baddies in the baddy army on Patreon. Yeah, we should. Yeah, we'll cut it off. We don't want to have a too big of an army. Yeah, we'll make it exclusive. We'll like block people that join.
We could be like Ukraine then just happen to like come town if we need backup or something. I like that. Yeah, I like war. We could. I wonder if there's an AI where we could just use come town and then just change our voices. Yeah, maybe we could just copy come town again. Yeah, well, it's with copy come town. But yeah, I'm sure there's an AI where we could just have it be kind of our voice like mine would be real easy. We basically already had that with the sound board before.
Yeah. Can you play that damn noise? That's my favorite one. That's a great one. Folks, I did want to mention that I got to disclose this response by the Harris Walls campaign. Yeah, yeah, bad timing. Oops. Yeah. So they they paid us. I mean, actually, we we love to. The doors. Tom LaHarris into walls. Hmm. Tom LaHarris, she's a proud owner of a Glock just like me. And she said, so that kind of sold us. Yeah, my money. Right. But she's going to ban all the guns.
Yeah. She said mandatory gun buyback. Yeah. And then what's his name is pedophile. So yeah, I feel like that's probably going to be bad for his campaign. That's enough for our ad there. Yeah. So guys, if you're a fan of the Harris Walls campaign, I love them. Also if you're you hate them, I hate them too. And I feel like Putin is a big fan of Kamala. He's a real Kamala had. Yeah. I R. S. actually doors her. Putin is kind of a funny guy because he's sarcastically or he's in doors.
There will be when he did that. Yes. He has a sense of humor. Right. He's the America's biggest enemy, obviously, he knows it's not a good look for them if he endorses them. It's really. Yeah. That's like me getting endorsed by me like Brian Crow or Bob Keane. Yikes. Like Bob Keane's next post is about you have attacked today with the confidence of a guy who's bid is having a gun or something. Yeah. Yeah. Bob Keane. He you and I have a backup. He lost the lost the war.
If his guns got stolen, how many guns backup does he have? Yeah. No guns to replace. No. I still need to buy a second gun because it says my old guns out there because two guns beats one gun. Yeah. And that's like I love war military industrial complex. And the weather the weather we can change it now. Oh, dude. I saw in the news they were saying that they were comparing Donald Trump to Hitler.
I was I was like, I was like, oh my gosh, I didn't I didn't know he was like gonna be the Hitler this time. I wasn't gonna vote, but I love Hitler. I'm not gonna I'm gonna vote sold sold. Yeah, they sold me there. So yeah, we were talking about going back into the polls. If they don't ID, we're gonna go back in with some great show marks inspired kind of an homage. What was good in California to go vote? Yeah, we'll just keep getting back in line and just switch. There's no idea.
Yeah, we're gonna get a bunch of mustaches from the Halloween store. And it's October that there's gonna be a Halloween stores. And I love Halloween. Like I can't wait for this. We're gonna just vote 150 times probably handlebar mustache, Hitler mustache, maybe. Yeah. And folks, when when I said that thing about loving Hitler, I was just kidding. I love love the Jews, except for the ones that control the weather and the ones that control the media. No, it's not a good look for the Jews.
Like I feel like the tunnel thing just the video of a total Jews climbing out. Okay, so some people can't control the weather. Okay, that's too far even for me. I know it's it's insane when like the big thing conspiracy. Yeah, it's so wild that it's a joke. But it's not a joke. Yeah. No, like Senator John Kennedy. It's funny that his name is John Kennedy. It's kind of funny. But he's just an old guy with the Louisiana accent living in a dead guy's shadow.
Yeah, he said we're gonna need some new conspiracies because it looks like they're 30 for 30 right now. And just probably yeah, the difference between a conspiracy theory and the fact is you wait six months. Yeah, and that's how you can check snopes. Yeah, no, check our website. That's where we do the opposite of snopes. So we just were always ahead of them. Yeah, because yeah, they're always wrong. Yeah, we're always six months ahead.
Yeah, and so I don't know, I just feel like the weather thing was a little bit much for me. I feel like that's worse than the aliens thing. Is that be so pissed if I'm in North Carolina just like doing a good job as a governor or something and then all of a sudden they start creating like a whole. Well, yeah, genocide basically on your own people.
Yeah, I mean, if they if they connect hurricane that first one, whatever, Irene Helene, Highline, Helene Maxwell, then come on, I mean, I think it was come on. Yeah, it's like, come on, get off. Come on, Helene. Why did you have to hit us? Yeah, but yeah, no, it's just if it is the Jews behind it, I'm going to be pissed. Yeah, I'm going to be mad. Well, I think it's the well, it's whoever's in charge of the New World Order. Yeah, and so it's like the media was one thing and then the money.
What if storms don't even exist? Yeah, like big storms because if they control the weather and the media, they create the storm that's sensationalist journalism. So what if what if like hurricanes don't even exist? Yeah, and it's always been fabricated. That would be crazy. That would be some demonic. All we gotta do is wait six months. No, honestly, that's pisses me off because you're right. It's probably there's probably no such. Why would there be that so obnoxious for nature?
Yeah, just Earth's been around forever. And it's like you're still having these little temper tantrums like a toddler. Think about this, what like they say that weather is getting more extreme and there's been this whole push for climate change. But it's been getting changed all. That's their evidence for climate change and they're creating the storm. They're just trying to get people behind a cause that they can have on the left. They just control people.
Yeah. Well, I think it's the left and the right to it's just the establishment. I mean, like the people that have been on the right side of Congress forever as well. Because the presidential there for years, you know. Yeah, it's like four years. A lot of senators are there for forever. Yeah, it's fucked up. You got that turtle guy. Turtle. Yeah, Mitch McConnell, the turtle.
And then you got like Lindsey Graham, who's like gay, but that's why a real hero, real patriot always steps down and when Obama called Joe Biden a patriot, it's like, dude, you already gave him the medal of freedom when all he was doing was eat nice cream. Yeah. Not doing shit, committing corruption. Talking about corn pop. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's enough. Yeah. Well, now, yeah, now Obama's out there trying to get people to vote for that.
I can tell it desperate is if they're bringing out Obama to do solo rallies. Instead of her. They caught her to town hall having a teleprompter. Oh, yeah. This is a town hall where people ask questions. It's supposed to be the more transparent version of a debate. Oh, really? That's like the purpose of the town hall is people ask you like questions and you give them your honest answer off the cuff. Intimate. They accidentally on Univision back. You can see it. It's just so corny, dude.
I don't get how people could be hyped up at that. It almost is like watching. They don't see it. They don't see the. They don't see the teleprompter. Well, the people that are voting for her don't see that stuff on their feeds. Yeah, yeah. You have to be there. Check out X folks. Yeah, it's really just exposing a lot of things. And if there's something that I mean, they do flag stuff that could be fake or some pass or something. But like somebody could put a community note on there.
Yeah. And it's a feature to just have people be able to say, hold on a second year. I think I have something to say. Instead of just taking it down or suppressing it. Yeah. Yeah, it's cool, though. But I do think that if like, you know, there's like your the president, right? And then your son is like his laptop gets stolen. Then I think you should suppress that story. I feel like I would. I would if I was him. Yeah. Like a lot of these corrupt things that they're doing.
I would do if I were them in a second. New York Man Eddie. Yeah, just put your put your feet in their shoes. Your son gets your your idiot son who loves crack and and prostitutes and stuff like that. And I accidentally has a laptop where he has a bunch of videos of him doing crack and then also a bunch of evidence leaking you and him to taking bribery from Ukraine and China. It's the thing is like a lot of people want to judge these politicians and their sons. Right.
But it's like yourself in their shoes. Yeah. Well, you can't because a lot of most people are losers compared to them and have no temptation. And also, you know, the CIA, you got to hide it is stuff and you got to, you know, like they they're probably involved. I mean, we know they're involved in the Martin Luther King thing. They're probably they're definitely only Kennedy thing. Yeah, these are good people. Yeah, but you got to know you understand why they did it.
You know, like, well, FBI was I mean, they're all probably the same. They're all just a Patriots and they're just trying to do the right thing for themselves really about the country. Well, yeah, it's about the new world order. That's what we got to be. We got to become a part of it. Sponsored by this state. This segment was sponsored by Harris Walls campaign vote blue vote. Turn the page vote for change, even though I'm the vice president. I'm a middle class. Yeah, she I worked at McDonald's.
He didn't. I did. She's never. She's legitimately never had a job. A private sector job. But I think I did. Okay, she grew up in Canada also. It's like, OK, we get it. You're Drake. I met Drake. Yeah, Larry's. Oh, yeah, she's like Drake. Drake. So is Tim Walls. He's even a little bit more. Yeah, he's a little more like did he? I wonder how many politicians because he's basically the black Epstein. Mm hmm. Also, why do we not have Epstein's list yet? How long has it been?
Okay, so this is the backlog of things that we need for our government. Epstein logs, Diddy logs, which apparently might leak by this lawyer, unless he gets something happens to him. So we need those. We need those things to see who all these big people are like Bill Clinton and you just to see who we know is on. Right. So like the really famous people and politicians that are definitely on there. We need to know something about the first Trump assassination guy. Yeah, like why one thing?
It is sad that it just where's the up for about it? But we're just kind of insane. And then and then the second one, the guy has six cell phones. He was fighting as a freedom fighter in Ukraine was recruiting people in the US to go fight with him in Ukraine. And then and then and there's no thing coming out about him. Yeah, it's just a little weird. I don't know. Oh, also the guy who got arrested for a terrorist plot, supposed to be an election days terrorist plot.
He was led into the US by the CIA or the FBI or the CIA, I believe. And he had he was like an informant of theirs in Afghanistan. Yeah, that is not, you know, the FBI or whatever, CIA probably shouldn't be the ones. It's not a good look for them. They kind of a bad rap going lately. We got to figure out how many how many layers of fake are they are they doing? Are they are they purpose? Are they doing a double or a triple fake? You know how many layers are there to it?
So are they are they making us think that? And they were behind Donald Trump shooting thing. So that we blame them when the real. Yeah, I don't know. The chosen a lot of games that they can play. That's a thing in poker is leveling where it's like I'm doing this thing because I know where you're at. Yeah, it can be eight levels. I saw this podcast where Eric Weinstein was talking about like he compared it to like a this movie where it's a it's a woman transition to a man dressed as a woman.
And it's like the three different layers. Yeah, and that's happening a lot. And I don't know. But I think they didn't they didn't think that they had all that everything all good, but they didn't have this they had all the communications under wraps with social media. But they didn't think that Elon was going to come in with this uncensurable social media. Yeah. And then all the all these whistleblowers come forward because they're more confident now.
Once a couple come forward and a lot more come forward. Yeah, because because if there's only a couple you can just snub them out or you know, but if there's a lot, you see a common denominator and you're just going to also get caught for a murder than to I think I think if Trump is elected, they should he should give free whistles to everyone. Yeah, everyone should have a whistle and all the intelligence community can end rape. Yeah. Mm hmm. Everyone should get a whistle.
Yeah. We're getting so deep. We're getting so demonetized. I'll post it on X and then we won't get any views on X. But maybe eventually we will. Yeah, it's like, you know, I mean, I've only posted like one episode on on X. Mm hmm. But early days, this is infantile stage. Yeah. Baby stage right now. Right. It's like toddler. It's kind of like forever. You know, it's like Rod Stewart. We can have temper tantrums. We can act up. We don't know any better yet. Right.
So if you guys know anything about Rod Stewart, one of the top 10 biggest human gatherings of all time was a Rod Stewart concert in Brazil. That's not a good look. There is over a million people there. Apparently he likes to drink jazz or something. Wow. A lot of these celebrities are into this weird stuff, freaky stuff. And that's why the P Diddy list, you know, it's like, these are good. Good people. That's the list.
It gets to a point when you have so much money and stuff, like it's kind of like Mick Jagger, like Mick Jagger already like hit sex with the hottest women, all the hottest women got bored and then. Yeah, just to feel something. And then I think he asked what's his name, the other famous guy, Dave. No, there's a star man. I don't know this song, but it's interesting. It's like being in jail, though. It's like a star man. He's very obsessed with all the women already.
If someone's listening right now, they're probably mad at me. You have to move them. He was a famous singer. Back then, Mick Jagger would be around and sing a different song. I can't think of one right now. The piano man. No. Is it David Bowie? Oh, David Bowie and Mick Jagger had sex. David Bowie. I could see doing that. Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah, I think David Bowie is probably the bottom. You're right.
Got banged. And P Diddy, it sounds like he liked to just kind of arrange sex for other people, which I think is that's cool. Well, he's a black Epstein. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you got to have a white. I got to have a Jewish Epstein, a black Epstein. Because he thinks if this huge jacked guy is railing this girl, I'm doing that because I arranged it. Yeah, but he's also banging dudes like Meek Mill, I think. Yeah. And he's like, I'm doing that because I'm yeah, and he's the one doing it.
Yeah. He, I don't think that's why he changed his name to Daddy. Like, I feel like some about no. It's possible. And then he's just like, I'm going to call myself Daddy and say yes. He was puff Daddy, P Diddy and then just did you. Oh, yeah, I feel like there is probably something weird about his name. He should just kept Puff Daddy as cool name. Yeah. Are people called Puffy for short? Puffy, what a cool nickname on your nickname.
And then yeah, I guess him and Shug Knight together killed two pocket baggy. Yeah, I saw him joking kind of about what he might have done to easy. Like he was saying how it's like you wouldn't shoot somebody. It's like all I do is just you get somebody with AIDS blood and you put it in a syringe and then you just inject it into their bloodstream. That's insane. Yeah, just tag them or something. And it's just like, geez, okay, well, that's how do you find someone with AIDS blood?
There's stories where about these are conspiracy theories. So let me show you in six months of P Diddy giving people some kind of somehow getting them a chemical that rapidly gives them some kind of disease that like gives them like cancer or something. Yeah, because I remember there was like a whistleblower on him. They wrote a book and then she died. Oh, geez. Yeah. A lot of people die like right when they start blowing whistle. That's kind of the scary part about it.
Well, there's whistleblowers are supposed to be protected. So that's why we need whistleblowers. So what we do is let's cut the deep state in half. Well, it'd be a shallow state. Oh, stay. I'm performing the shallow state. So we release half the classified stuff or maybe just like an eighth at a time because otherwise the public will go insane. So like you release some of the Kennedy stuff we're doing. We already know it was backed by the CIA to some extent and or FBI all the same.
And then it just ends up if they're all that behind. Well, that I would do the same thing. I mean, because the CIA is supposed to be on the overseas, but they also do action in the U.S. And I think more and more they've been doing stuff internally. I this stuff is like we get it. Your demons, your aliens, your yeah. Well, it's like Caligula, you know, when he's the Roman emperor who made a senator a horse. That's Kamala Harris. That's what he did. He made a senator or a horse.
He made a horse a senator. So one of the senators was a horse. No way, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. And then he was into. Yeah, I like this guy. Yeah. I don't know anything about him. I heard he was insane. Caligula. Yeah, he was insane. He would. He was like the. He made a horse. The wicked emperor. There was like there was like the good emperor was like Marcus Aurelius and then Augustus Caesar and then Julius Caesar was like their Trump.
Big populist and then Augustus Caesar, he was a little more low key, but he took over more land. He was just humble, you know, like he's the kind of guy who should do three pointer, just swish it and then just turn around and run back the other way instead of celebrating. But what's his name? Julius Curry will like celebrate before it's even in really. Yeah. And he'll just turn around and already be celebrating because he knows. Yeah, because he's done so many of that of that exact shot.
Yeah. It's just muscle memory at that point. But like Julius Caesar would do like a flip into the end zone and play football. Yeah. He would do a flip. That's awesome. Yeah. My buddy was telling me about his dad. He says his dad thinks he's like, I don't know, just like a playboy like like CEO like just thinks he's like a Tony Stark or something and it's like thinks that people see him that way and he's like, no one sees him this way.
So his dad thinks this about he thinks that he is his dad thinks that his dad is like the coolest and like that's very fun. My dad's the opposite. My dad's very humble, which makes him the coolest. Yeah. Yeah. No, my dad rules. My dad's like, if you're listening to this, I can promise you my dad's cool. I can't get in the mood with your dad. Yeah. I've been trying to get you to make some content with him. Yeah. Well, I need to get him on here. Yeah. We need to get like John Hickock.
Yeah. You got to compete with that. So we got to but there's got to be office furniture involved. Yeah. So we're going to be testing out the tattoos. So remember we were thinking like he's rolling on an office chair through a field shooting a Newsy. One of them. One of them. Yeah. Well, we'll incorporate office furniture and machine guns. I want to be shooting a machine gun in a lazy boy. Yes. But we got ergonomic this cubicle. You're just sniping just like the Ottoman.
Yeah. And the cubicle, I guess, so strong that like the bullets can't even go through at the 50 cal. You're the semi-automated. These chairs are bulletproof, I believe. They're from rework. That's where they. So we work with office furniture rework. So with office furniture, they come out with brand new office furniture. They only like the big companies would buy to do a new office.
The stuff that's in style, the new cream of the crop and then the stuff that's out of style, they sell over rework, which my dad took over. It's kind of a conglomerate. It's like this stuff is just as good as the other stuff, but it's just not the stuff that's in style. He's like, yeah, we'll take it. Yeah. Make it cool again. I bought these chairs for my dad. This table was sponsored by my dad. Yeah, he pops. I'd better be sitting at it soon. Good man. No, he he he was in here.
I was I was talking to him. We were doing a consultation type of thing. And he was sitting where you are. And he was like, this is cool. How'd you do this on the table? And I was like, you know, you know, me and this whole thing epoxy. Yeah. Is this the same table? I was like, yeah. Yeah. He's like, yeah, that's pretty cool. Philosophically, is it the same table anymore? Not even really.
No, no, no, no, no. The table the table legs are let me folks, if you want to see the table looks like it's a hundred dollar bill. I'll kind of let's work a lot more than that. Yeah. I mean, each one. I mean, look how big it is. So you just big 100 kind of multiply size. It's like it's like seismic. Mm hmm. Yeah. And they really reworked this thing. Well, what if McDonald's made a big burger called the seismic MC? Oh my gosh. Yes, the seismic like super size me. Yeah, that guy died apparently.
Okay. Well, he had a good run really good run. So what are your so okay, RFK is going to make America healthy again. But does that mean we have to get rid of all the goods like this? The good stuff? I don't know what he's going to do because some of these other countries limit how much soda pop you can buy down at the soda pop. Yeah. Oh, I love playing jacks down by the soda phone. I love that. Yeah. But then sometimes they get some of the I say let's bust this popsicle stand.
Yeah, we need less bars and more soda soda found. Oh, it's just like, you know, the innocence of, you know, you're going to hopefully pick up a woman in your car and just drive route to a nice spot and maybe. Who knows what's going to happen. She's locked in your car and just maybe a kiss. Maybe maybe she wants a baby. Yeah. And it's a did she put up a fight? That's the age old question. Grace. Hell of a musical. I was just listening to some of the reasons. You're listening to grease in the car.
Yeah. A couple of songs from it. And I felt a little silly, I guess, but then I was like, that is silly. But that the main grace song is it just starts off so powerful. It gets me amped up. Yeah. Let me show you the song. I might have to cut to. I wonder if it'll come through. It's yours is just a little heavy. But we would be just a part of this one. It's pretty high. This was the background. But it would just be like a like a five second portion of it.
Like maybe just kind of the beginning or kind of the end here. Like this. Like this. It's probably a little bit more easy on the ears. You don't need to include. Yeah, I could just start like this. Yeah. That's it. And then maybe kind of fade out. Yeah. And then it's just into a gun cock. And I do like yours. But you should use that for your rap career. Yeah. I'm going to use it for my rap career, which is going to be really successful. I think so. Did you write any stuff for our newest stand?
Well, you know, it's got the ideas brewing. And I do need to be fair. I did. I do be fair. I didn't do work on the course. So I can't I can't knock you if I wasn't you know, no, it's tough because you know, we're in money mode right now. Yeah. And so I mean guys, you see a gold watch America. This is this is the America that we want the American dream is this. $50 is attainable for anybody. You guys can you guys can be like us. You can be famous podcasters. Some of you.
Well, yeah, most of you can't. Yeah. But it's a merit. It's a meritocracy made that may the best succeed. Sometimes we got to be a little bit corrupt maybe to, you know, be as it. Yeah. Is it illegal? Maybe is it frowned upon? Yes. Yeah. Sometimes. Sometimes we show another podcast to bump ourselves up because that's how it works. And if they can't handle the heat and stay out of the kitchen. And I say, you know what?
Some of you could be like us and it's going to be the type that doesn't take shit from us when we say you can. All these podcasts that all these other Chicago podcasts, what does does the roast podcast exist anymore? I don't think it does. I believe it does. It does it. I believe so. And they just watch clips from the roast battle. I mean, I don't really know. I feel like they talk about the roast and I feel like they probably kind of roast each other on there. I don't think it exists.
One, one episode Matt Bann were touched about me. Really? Yeah. Oh yeah. I remember that. And then you retaliated. I destroyed him. You did dismantle him in many ways. I dismantled him so hard. Oh yeah. That one really stood out because I feel like then I kind of probably why. Why you moved? I didn't. Yeah. I didn't think about this till now. That's why he moved to Austin. Didn't even have to put him on the wall of ops. You just so I I kick. So okay.
I forced Zako and and Matt Bann work to Austin K. Dempsey, Lightsea and Blair Porkchop out of the comedy scene. And then Bob King submit for his Thuring essentially. And I mean he's doing pretty well sleeping up sleeping like a bat upside down under the Belmont Bridge. I think the blood going to his head is good for him. So that's why when you got really mad at Jason that his like face got so red and you know all the blood that has been rushing there every night.
But then it's like oh can I get the coins like a cool idea. Trump coins. Yes we can absolutely bring out the Trump coins and talk about them. So I do have to admit we so we're sponsored by the Harris Walls campaign. But we we're not so this is more grassroots you know with the Trump campaign. It's more like we don't get the billionaire donors. This is the Trump's kind of the working man's the Republicans are the people of the working man now which has changed.
Yeah. It's just like I don't want to work. Yeah. Man. The left the left is they're all they're all tech tech billionaires support them. Google is one of the biggest donors. Yeah. It is getting confusing because it's like OK you're the left but you're like Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah. But then you're also like we're not that left. We're not going to you know commit corruption again. The parties have flipped and it flips and it flops.
So I mean it's flipped before you know like the slavery people or Democrats as the best example in my opinion. Honestly I think they still kind of are because they just keep people in welfare state. Yeah. A lot of a lot of black Republicans say that they're just real sneaky. Yeah. They're real good at just looking like the good guys until X came out. Yeah. And then it's like whoa. So my feed is just full of black Republicans and it's amazing.
And I just watch them and then obviously that's why I keep getting more. I also saw this video of this Haitian guy that lives in Springfield and he wears all Trump gear and he was talking about how they do eat cats and kill cats and then people didn't believe the first video.
So he went over to his cousin who had gotten there six months ago legal completely legal not just like the whatever they give them asylum and he and basically they're translating from French or whatever Haitian French to English and the guy was like yeah that's normal those stores you can go to get cats to you know eat them. Yeah it's like OK so the weather thing and then the cats and the dogs. But they're like Trump's racist for saying that it's like OK.
First of all maybe not so even if that were that even if that wasn't complete live that Trump made up that's not racist that'd be xenophobic. It's a different country. Why does the color matter. Yeah I just think it's like Trump is not a racist. The color of someone's skin doesn't matter and something like that. But Haitians it's like if you're going to hate a group Haitians. Well they yeah because I mean it's in the name. But don't be Haitian. You know.
Nice. But the problem is they inject 20,000 Haitians in a town of 50,000. How is that how is that sustainable. I mean and if they're hungry they're going to eat the cats. Yeah. Put yourself in the Haitian shoes. Let them eat bread. Let them eat. See the problem is the left has no empathy. They don't know how to put themselves in a Haitian shoes who they come here. It's normal to eat cats there. They want to eat some cats. Okay it's part of their culture and if you want to.
Yeah so honestly the racist and xenophobic ones are. Denying their culture. Let's take a guess. The Democrats. Well they're not they're not they don't have empathy but they do have. Metgopathy is something like. When the name of the party is going to change. Yeah I don't know. Because I'm sick of this stuff that's just like pro-life choice. That is so dumb. It's too pro in that. There shouldn't be a major issue in this election. Right now we have no president.
We're on the brink of nuclear war with Russia. The whole Middle East is insane. North Korea is sending troops to help Russia. Well the abortion thing I mean we could talk about JD Vance was. The abortion thing right now is up to the states. That's fine. But JD had you know pretty powerful stance on it. I think maybe JD stands. JD stands. Yeah because he kind of he said you know what how come so many of the people that care about abortion so much are so hideous that they're never.
Oh no that wasn't Vance that was. What's his name. On damn who was it. It's funny because he kind of like looks evil. Evil. Well I mean JD Vance looks evil. He also looks like an evil Kyle Allen. Let's pull up. Like he'd be like a like a jigsaw or something. No I think I think JD Vance is legitimately a decent guy. But that bums me out because that's who I thought it was who was saying that.
No no that was a no but that's another congressman's that's more cool congress people so these are going to be the guys that hopefully replace the turtles. And they're just like yeah like I mean you really want to impregnate someone who looks like a thumb. I'll find the best videos from just going to our text. And once again it's like the thumb people from spy kids have always haunted me and. The Thumpkins. Oh these recuts are so good. Did you watch the Mary Poppins one.
Yeah these are yeah I need to make my Ferris Bueller. Scary. Well yeah there's a couple of Ferris Bueller ones but no like good horror one. No especially because I was thinking like I want to use the gun sounds from the sound board in it to like make it so it's about school shooting. And it'll just be Bueller Bueller and then it'll have like the the sound of like when someone's heart stops. No just like the flat line. Oh it's Mad Mad Mad Gats or Mad Gates. Oh okay.
So I'm going to pull it over to. Now that guy looks fucking real evil. Yeah. I think he'd be like in like Evil Willy Wonka or something or like a kind of tycoon like. Yeah. Kill all the kids or ruin Christmas maybe. Well he's got. We even talked about Jeff Christmas in a while either and it's almost. Yeah why don't you why don't you talk about Jeff Christmas for a bit.
I was just pretty excited because I was on a lot of Adderall one day I guess or maybe sometimes it's like okay what is real Adderall. What gets me just locked in in real life without drugs and sometimes it's a bit and so I started making this Adams family thing and I made it the Asmus family. Okay. And I sent it to you guys like three months early and I said for Halloween can we do this the Asmus family and then it's just there's like 14 of them. The Asmus family.
And one of them is Dragovich and yeah I saw the idea and you didn't you hated it. You hated all of it. No I didn't hate it. James Webb is in there. Adam Gilbert is in there. I mean yeah we can make it a post but I don't know how to make a good video. Come on man. What. We can make it. Think about how many how many. It's 10 seconds. Think about how many of those pictures types of pictures I've made. I made myself Stalin. Yeah but I know. I lost my picture of myself as Stalin.
No. I mean I couldn't remake it. I just lost the single picture. I never printed it. What. I thought it was printed like out there. No. No I made it. Well I can remake it and then I can make you as Hitler and put it on the wall. You sure that you didn't text it to me because I think. Oh I did. Yes. Yeah. Then you probably delete all of our texts right away just for to say. No I don't. I did set it at delete to say space. Leah for a month. Yeah. I realized that was the worst idea.
No for everybody. That was the worst idea it turns out. Yeah because you need to save these bits. You spent so long on that thing and I spent so long on mine. Well. Hive mind. Yeah. Well I have to do one for every episode. Great minds think alike right. Yeah. So a lot of women look like a thumb. I have mine to think alike. You're watching on video. Okay you're good on video. It's good enough. A lot of yeah thumb women. Thumb. I don't know thumb gales I guess. Thumpkins. Thumpkins yeah.
It's like thoughts but it's thumbs. Is that what. What were the thumb people called in Dr. Floup's ones from spy kids. I don't know. Freaks of nature. Were they just thumb guys. Is that they called. Well because it was fine this out. Can you stuff. Can we get a fact check on that Jamie. What were the thumb. My name is. It's called. Thank you. No we actually. It's more important. No we did DEI. I'm the Mexican one. Can we get a. Wait what was it sorry how do you pronounce your name.
I don't want to mess it up. Hi may. Hi may. Yeah so the J is silent. A I am E. Hi. Hi may. Okay. I didn't want to mess it up. I want to be really respectful. Thank you. So how the fuck do you say your name because I'm gonna mess it sucks. That was sponsored by the Hertz Wolf campaign. So you can code switch and be racist if you're surrounded by races. Yeah. You guys know that grew up in the middle. Kamala Harris has a gun and I want more details into what kind of glock she has.
Tell us and everybody wants the details on my glock. Yeah. Everyone's always like Mac why do you have a gun and I say why don't you have a gun. And growing up we always had guns in the household. Oh I always. And we would take them to school with us because you know you're on the bus. Oh this post got deleted. I guess look it up probably on here. They didn't say we're gay long enough. They didn't say we're gay long enough. Me and Max Rice we're talking about starting a show.
No boys loud or just be like the man show but it'd be like the non cis man show. And so it just basically be advertises like anything but a cis man. And then it would be only men on the line cis males on the line. I like that. Well I was thinking of a similar thing called the woke show but it's nobody of anything. The woke. The woke jokes. Yeah let's see if I can get this on the screen. Woker jokers. Woke jokes. Woke jokers. I actually brought this. I brought that idea up to Jason Melton.
We still can't find him folks. I don't know where he is. I don't know. Somebody check St. James Island. Yeah. I feel like I wonder so. He might be there now. He might be a ditty. Someone had to buy that or is it just still in the family name. What. The Epstein Island. Do you think it's still in the Epstein family or someone bought it. And I bet Bill Gates probably bought it and is just like creating mosquitoes that give kids AIDS or something. And so I don't know. He's it but again good guy.
Well I like Matt Gates more than Bill Gates but I think all we're going to get in this video is there he is. Representative Matt Gates met with seniors in the Scania County Monday two days after speaking at a conservative summit in Tampa. The people are just disgusting. The congressman posted the turning pretty good look. Yeah. Point USA speech to Facebook including his stake on pro-choice protesters.
Why is it that the women with the least likelihood of getting pregnant are the ones most worried about having abortions. Nobody wants to impregnate you if you look like a thumb. It's such a comedy bit. 350 pounds and they're like give me my abortions or I'll get up and march and protest and I'm thinking March. Do it like you got ankles weaker than the legal reasoning behind Roe versus Wade. Those comments congressman Matt Gates. A comedian David.
Becoming a talking point Monday morning on The View. Comments like he made really leave no room for any intellectual conversation. Stuff like this makes me like him more. I spoke with Gates after Monday morning's event and asked him about his comments. Is it safe to say that based off of your comments you're suggesting that these women at these abortion rallies are ugly and overweight. Yes. What do you say to people who think that those comments are offensive. Be offended. Sorry.
But it's like that's mean. He's like that's what I've seen at the rallies. I mean that's. It's also like you can just disagree with like you're like that is unnecessary. I don't think he's a puppet. He looks like a puppet. No I know. Well he looks like a politician. Looks like a jigsaw. I mean he's yeah I know he's he's been trying to be a politician his whole life and he is one but there's a younger order I think kind of I bet Charlie Kirk eventually runs for office. Let's watch it.
Just the Charlie Kirk asking what is a woman. No that's my favorite clip of him. The well the Matt Walsh made a hole. I know but Charlie Kirk's is awesome because there's this one point when. Oh we're having camera issues right now. So we can watch your clips but all of a sudden. No no camera issues. Hold on that's weird. Well it's working on this one. Maybe your computer is dying. Maybe it's crashing. It's not maybe it's overheating from from Gates. Takes heat.
It's just such a gay symmetrical line. I love that. It was Gates wins Matt Gates not Bill Gates folks that guy is ruining the world. Bill Gates. He takes except he said takes intellectual proper. Oh what about this. You know how we wanted over the world. We wanted Bill Gates to build the gate at the border instead of a wall. Let's have Matt Gates do it.
Yeah so it's kind of this because that way because that way we won't have the guy that's behind it like all the diseases the weather and stuff like that. Yeah and it's like the wall supposed to be like are you cool if you're cool you can come in. Let's do that with the guy building it. Yeah yeah. Well okay Bill Gates definitely has that I don't know if he does all this sexual stuff as much.
He probably does but he loves power and he loves control so I think I think he owns the patents to the the weather control to one of the weather control things. Are you kidding or no. I'm serious. The one so there's one there's one in Antarctica. Where to God I'm going to shoot this. There's one in Antarctica that can cause earthquakes and there's one and there's several that they have that can yeah they inject aerosol thing into the air and it can make and strengthen earthquakes.
I'm going to shoot this guy in game. You know what it also you know what it also can do. It can also make earthquakes or make it can make hurricanes go away. No. Yeah it can reverse hurricanes. And they don't use it. No they use it they use it to go over the west side of North Carolina where Black Rock just signed a big deal to get minerals at but a bunch of people in there don't want to sell. Did you see like they found the west side of North Carolina. Why would a hurricane hit that.
No yeah what the fuck. It would hit the coast. So sketchy. And that's where all the lithium is. They need for it. Like Dave Chappelle right now I'm hitting my microphone. Yeah I mean so we have the red pill information but the question is maybe we should a lot of this just let it happen because or else our economy might die and get destroyed.
Some knows too is like I want the pet I want the pedophiles to get destroyed but some of this stuff where they're just like making wildfires in Wyoming so that they can take over some of that land. What they do is they do a super drought and then what they do is they blew up like a gas factory or something. And this is like we got to be Nancy Pelosi on this when Trump was getting people riled up she says let it happen. Make it worse. Oh yeah. And use it against them.
Yeah. Let them make their mistakes because that's fucked up. She told the National Guard and Army like they were there were two miles away. She was like no don't don't come in. Yeah no it's just I think we got this covered. Okay this is their job. Yeah it's disrespectful to call it a backup. Breaking news. Faking news. To counter Dan Kras's dumb arguments about why. Which are unreleased hopefully you cut out that war. I did I did but I will put that bonus out. Me and Dan Kras had a political.
He did a political argument that was not funny but I was right of course. Put that on the record. Once the documents come out I mean the theater of them putting on this January 6th thing is just dumb. First of all it wasn't an insurrection it was just people kind of walking around and some people broke stuff but they're putting all these old people in jail. Insurrection. And but what the kind of name is that. And it was also led by FBI but insurrection is like an erection like you know.
Going into the. Yeah so that's kind of what Dan Kras does. He's like please insurrection your dick and my butt. But breaking news tell me I'm the capital remember the cap remember when I was when I was telling Dan that the all the documents cases got dismissed that he was talking about because they did in Florida he's like what's because that was a Florida place.
Now all these 30 felonies that he got charged with in Manhattan at the appeals court they were like none of this makes any sense like these charges like they. They were like a bunch of fraud charges against Trump for like overvaluing Mar-a-Lago or something and like tricking a bank to invest Deutsche Bank.
So he had the president of Deutsche Bank come in and be like yeah like we knew that Mar-a-Lago was overvalued we're still going to give him the loan we've given him 30 loans and he's paid him back with interest every time so we didn't make a difference to us and then the judges were like so there's no victim here there's no crime have you ever done a case where this has been the thing and then by the end of it all the attorneys were all
the prosecuting attorneys were like begging that to get like sanctioned or whatever or punish for clear and in effectional or election appearance interference. So another win another win for the the golden knight. I just feel like that's how greedy some people are that they just have the huge advantage and they just still abuse it. If you can control the weather. Yeah. Like keep it fucking reasonable and believable. Yeah. And folks it to a hurricane.
Yeah. So if you can believe me look up aerosol injection into the atmosphere and also look up. Isn't that a hairspray? Is that what that movie's about? A hairspray. Yeah. Breeze. Yeah. A hairspray. Yeah. What's up with this? Why does every musical have to do with hair stuff? Uh huh. You know I like I like aerosol. I like to huff aerosol out of a duster thing. Mm hmm. You know. Why would why would you ever. Well you're addicted to it. So yeah. It is an addiction to mine. Uh huh.
So is Jane. Uh huh. Jane's. Nice. Jane's my addiction. So we should take out Harold's tag and so now you're a tag Navarro. Um yeah. I'm not. Stealing Harold's joke. I'm pulling a James N word. Yeah. So you're so I'm tagging the tarot. You're James Navarro. Not James N word. So you're kind of like John Diaz. Used to be. Used to be John. He did code switch and John. Can't blame the guy. Silman. Silman is a weak a weak stage name. I just I don't know. Very very weak weak stage name.
I think Johnny Diaz. It's like he gets it. He gets the name stuff. Well, you know, because Bobby Buds changed it. He doesn't get it. There's already a Giovanni Diaz Lobo Den. Shout out to Lobo Den. No partners. We're we they're sponsors of ours. Responses of theirs. There is a trade deficit, but I think we're OK with that. But it's like Giovanni. Yeah. But then Johnny Diaz. It's just the name. I think John Diaz. We better J.O.N. Diaz. John Diaz.
So it's like I always think it's like it's just random people are talking to each other like, you know, Johnny Diaz or it's like, you know, Joey Diaz. What do you like better, Donald Donald or Don? It should be Donnie O'Donnell. I like Donnie O'Donnell. It flows. Donnie O'Donnell. He's like, like Donnie O'Donnell. Donnie O'Donnell. Yeah. And strong O'Donnell school. But no, he's got to change it. It doesn't work on flyers. It's too long. Donovan. Donovan is already a long first name.
OK. I've put him on shows. I put every show that I've put him on. I've had to like, like, because you got to put I put all the names on there and then I got to use like fucking half of the page for him. Yeah. I make the print smaller for him. What is is strong? Just a nickname. Is that his middle name or something? He's got a hyphen named. So he probably got Lib Cook parents. Oh, OK. So if it's actually part of his name, like it's cool. But then it's like, what about Derek Strong? Well, yeah.
And who was in the scene first because they get to keep their name. Derek Strong runs the jewels. He runs the jewels. He runs an open mic. Oh, does he? Which one? It's the earlier one at Shakers on Monday nights. Oh, the gay bar. Yeah. And then the other dare comes in for the late one. The black one. Yeah. And so is he gay? No, I don't think so. But he's maybe he knows diddy. Who's the ass stick he takes pictures. I don't know. I think he's gay. You want to take me shopping?
You want to take you shopping? I got to take you shopping, daddy. No, I do want to do what you do. I do want to hit a mic next week where I want to talk about how I heard. The thing I was saying earlier, that's kind of a bit that I want to do. And then like that I heard that Trump on the news, they say he was a fascist and I was kind of taken back. They said he's like just like Hitler. And I didn't plan on a voting, but I love Hitler. So I'm voting Trump this year.
I can tell you that much, you know, something like that. And then what people are going to like that. And then I'll say totally kidding. Love the Jews. Love the Jews. I love the Jews except for the one Trump voice. Love it. Love the Jews except for the ones controlling the weather. The stuff they did in North Carolina. Not nice. Hitler never controlled the weather. Yeah, there's Ashkenazi Jews, Sephardic Jews, the weather controlling Jews, the media ones.
I'm drinking Mike's Harder Hurricane Punch. And so yeah, Mike's Harder. Mike's. I wonder if what if we're all being controlled by what if the head of the New World Order is all black guys? Yeah, and I was just thinking today, just like, what are we just OK? We're just we exist. And then there's like these computer things. It's like this is just we're in the Truman Show. This is yeah, this is some dumb just fucking even. I can't believe we believe. I can't believe we bought this.
We're so gullible. The weather. That's what it's everything. This what is. Oh, I mean, the I love materials. Yeah. And that's it. Yeah, no, that's why that's why that's why that's why I went on a team who run because is this I get this from team who built it. But I'm talking into microphones. This is natural. Yeah, yeah, we exist. And then there's just all this sophisticated. This is this happened. Oh, dude, I got to show you this. Evolution.
I got to show you I got to show you this podcast where Brett, I think is Brett Weinstein talks to talks to this. Like brain doctor or something. And he's talking about how. Memories. Aren't in the brain. They're not stored in the brain. They're in your cells or something. But our brains are some kind of communication network. Yeah, and that's just our brains are electrical signals. That's all it is. And it's like electricity, technology, right?
Because they've never been able to find where our memories would be inside the brain. Really? Yeah. There's not this thing that lights up. No, there's not like a we don't have we don't have like a little hard drive. Wow. So it's that easy, huh? So the memory is itself. It's kind of a nickname for stuff that we know. But it's a whole thing. I'll find you the thing. It wasn't due, but it's find you a hard drive. Interstate 10. Nice. I heard it's a bitch. I also like. Who?
Interstate love song stone temple pilots. My favorite pilot is Zanzibar. So who do you like more 21 pilots or stone temple pilots? I'm gonna say stone temple pilots. Yeah, I'll stone temple you on that. And that's it. I thought we were going to do. Well, you did both. So I forgot to. So this is a grassroots effort for we were also sponsored by the Dallas Trump campaign. So I got first edition down from coins.
This is likely if it falls your if all of your dreams come true left, then he's going to be the dictator. You might want to stock up on these gold coins, folks. So get your coins. It's very valuable stuff. They are real currency certified. I certified that. I mean, I'd rather have that than a US dollar. Yeah. Yeah. What's a US dollar? We're going to be using Chinese heroes. You know, we get a dollar. Yeah. Okay. I want more half dollars. Yeah, at least twice as many.
I like I like a big half dollars are I know. And I actually can't they all be this big. The only thing I like about Europe is that they have some big coins. You know, I love coins. I like I like getting like Mexican peso big coins. I feel like I'm living in the past in a good way where it's when you'd have like, would they call those like just a little gold gold coins and that's all. Yeah, like a little bag. Yeah. So you carry the bag around.
Yeah. You have gold, showing silver and then you you just kind of I mean, there's always been a thing where like, you know, the Louis CK talks about this, but the cowboy puts a coin down on the bar. I mean, it's like, I'll take a whiskey and a woman for the night. Yeah, exactly. And then that's a good old one thing. Louis CK doesn't understand is back then the quarter was worth a lot more. Yeah, like you buy a woman. Yeah. Have you ever heard of inflation? Louis CK? Uh huh.
It's not it's not just a subjective thing that he's putting down that money. 25 cents back then was worth what was that probably in the 1850s do 3% compounding until now. That was that was probably I'm gonna do that right now. Thanks Obama. Yeah, Joe Biden elected. Yeah, honestly, thank you Obama. Yeah, seriously, thank you. Yeah. Welcome. Actually, I remember this the other day like years ago. I don't even know who would it be about but it's roasting two guys. It was looking at inflation.
It'd be like Obama voice for some reason, but he's roasting two guys. I call them gay like put those two in a room two weeks later you have a gay baby. What? And it's like, I don't know why how they'd make a child. I don't know why it only take two weeks and I don't know why the baby would be gay. But I think we can guess. I think I pocket these. This monopoly money copy money on case I get robbed.
I want to have a so this is going to be my bag of shillings but it's going to be false shillings so that the robber thinks that I didn't put all my money in my crotch. I think we'll evolve to where gay guys can have babies other but I saw a lot of shit. Well these only go back to 1913 but what are they is an inflation calculator. Oh, it's kind of suspicious was only go back that far. Okay, well, 25 cents is only eight bucks. But we'll actually think about that.
That's the price for that's a price for a drink at if you got a whiskey drink. That's that's actually the price. So if you put down a coin 25 cents and say, let me get a whiskey. That's actually same pricing as now. Oh, a whiskey get a whiskey drink. I get a vodka drink. I sing the song that reminds me of the good time. Yeah, what's this song? Oh, Danny boy. It's called Danny. It's about Danny. Oh, David Bowie. Oh, Danny. Danny. Van. The day Valen came in town didn't come on the podcast.
You can knock down. You stay down there. I can't believe Danny fell and came in town and didn't come on the podcast. He did. Yeah, he just listened to I recommended a Joe Rogan parody to him and he listened to it and no feedback about I don't think he liked it. Oh, is that the anti Joe Rogan? No, is that the is a parody of Rogan? Yeah, like I saw that one. The Tim Heidecker one. Yeah, awesome. Very good. Very good. They made like a little parody of one folks.
To close this one off, we got to do a quick break before we have a guest episode. We have an enormous guest this week. And he's gonna be a lot of contentious conversations going on, but he's one of your favorites. And we're not going to reveal who it is. No, but next week we have some pretty big, huge, bigger, huge, maybe we'll be able to get the biggest guy. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Before you guys all kiss him goodbye. And then you see him on the big screens.
We're also working on getting beans from even Steven's. We are working on it. Well, I gotta. Yeah. Can you hit up rice? I'll hit up rice again. All right. Yeah. Hit up again. Rice and beans, huh? Well, he invited me to be on a show with beans and him and I didn't want to do it. God, I would have jumped on that. He also invited me to do that show that Jason did at Zany's. Yeah. And you said, fuck that. Yeah. I didn't want to do it in front of fucking some of the grandmas.
Sometimes it's, you know, you got to say no sometimes. I do want to. I do want to run a campaign and then just be super honest. Be like, if you guys wanted to know like any dirt on me, you can just go back and listen to my podcast. There's a lot of ironic fucked up shit I said. Oh my gosh. So you're going to basically. But I'm going to be straight up all the time. And all I want to do is help you the people. And I went to high school.
The most one of the most ever is high schools, probably in the nation, Evereston Township. I love people from every way of life. I'm going to make sure that I'm going to make sure that everyone has joy. I'm going to. I'm going to. Joe reparations over to reparations. And I'm going to get into office. I'm going to be a really fiscal Republican. And yeah, I have a. Ladies only Republican fetish have discovered. So this is I helped you discover that with Kim classic.
Yeah. And we're kind of going to help encourage it and support it. If you're a woman and we need more like maybe hot. Tradition. No, like hot Mexican because. No. Yeah. Because legal legal Mexico legal Mexicans hate illegal Mexicans. They will. They will be Republicans. I know it's crazy because like I see a black guy across the street. Mexicans will make you cross the border. Yeah. Yeah. See. Yeah. Latino women. Yeah. Yeah, I saw a black guy across the border. No, yeah.
I saw Tina Yukana across the border. Yeah, guys, if you ever cross the street when you see a black guy, then you try the border. I mean, what I do is I purpose even if I'm supposed to cross the street at that time, I don't cross the street because I don't want to think I'm racist. Well, I'll cross the street because I was supposed to cross the street then. I didn't do it. The black idea. I'm scared. Get your mind out of it.
I'm just kidding what I read that sponsored by Tim Walls, Kamala Harris, the statement I said. A city show. What I really do is I flash my gun at them and then I say, fuck you go do and then I am, you know, you shoot him from across the street. I do that for every group of people. You know, I see like maybe my uncle walking down the street essay. I left them. I might show my gun. I say, fuck you go do. Yeah, you haven't like pulling your gun on a lot of people even. Oh, okay, folks.
The holiday Dylan comedy baddie. Right. Comedy baddie. I'm going to be at the dent theater on Wednesday for a one liner tournament. Okay. The den. The den is a good place, folks. What what day on Wednesday, Wednesday. So that's in two days. No, in nine days. No, this is going to be in two days. In two days. So today, 16 tonight. The 16th. It's in four days. Oh, in two days. In two days from now. When you're if you're listening to this on a day it's released. It's on Wednesday, the 16th.
It's going to be like, I think 64 comedians or something. I'm like, what? And the dent theaters is it's an awesome venue. You got Julius. They not give it. She's like a Russian informant. Yeah, she told me that I made Zekko look like a bitch. Yeah, yeah. It was my favorite moment. All right. For the first time in a while, I was like, I'm going to be on the show. I'm going to be on the show. I'm going to be on the show. It's my favorite moment.
All right, folks, follow him at comedy baddie and everything. Follow me at badboycomedy.joinpatron.com. slash bad comedy 399 a month for access to every episode ever made. And then we love you guys. Lots of conspiracies on this episode. But you know, that conspiracy now means it's going to be the truth in six months. We love you all. We love you guys.