"Do you want to vomit on her, or do you want to vomit on her?” asks Christi as things are as painful as ever on "May I Have This Dance". After coming in second yet again, Abby is fed up with everyone (but Maddie) and is starting to get particularly cruel with her comments during Pyramid (of course except for Maddie). Paige's treatment of the flag was supposedly so bad that she did "a disservice to this country," meanwhile Maddie was so good that Abby dubs her "America the Beautiful". It's a new ...
Jan 22, 2024•1 hr 7 min
"Life is just a lesson," remarks Christi, "My Instagram bio literally says I make mistakes...some are on TV." At least she can be assured that on the second half of "The Politics of Dancing" the only one making mistakes as per usual is Abby, who is determined to pit the kids against one another no matter the cost. As the ALDC arrives in Philadelphia for Powerhouse Dance Invitational, Abby is already setting the girls up for failure. The group number "Free the People" requires the girls to dress ...
Jan 15, 2024•58 min
Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [BARRE] at LumeDeodorant.com ! #lumepod "You are 15 you piece of shit," is not exactly what Abby said to Brooke, but Christi couldn't have summed up the mood better as Abby froths at the mouth after losing to Cathy. As "The Politics of Dancing" begins, Abby is already throwing everyone under the bus, except for newcomer Asia whom Abby claims is upstaging the rest of the girls...
Jan 08, 2024•1 hr 16 min
“Somebody has to fight with her,” remarks Kelly as we go through the motions of introducing Kristie Ray into the mom group on the second half of "Watch Your Back, Mack". Even though the moms (and especially our bitches) are on their best behaviors, tensions still seem to mount as Kristie begins to try and push the mom's every button. Though the show implies Melissa should be the one worried as Asia is being held up as the Mackenzie replacement, Melissa could seemingly care less and it's up to th...
Dec 25, 2023•47 min
"You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to postmates a drink," Christi jokes as she's booze-less going into what may be one of the strangest episodes of Dance Moms yet. Season 3's "Watch Your Back, Mack" is most notable for the introduction of Asia Monet Ray, the newest member of the ALDC and a former competitor on Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition. But to these bitches it will always be best remembered for one of Abby's truly unhinged decision to get her dearly departed Broadway Baby stuffed ...
Dec 18, 2023•56 min
Due to techimical difficulties, we're replacing this week's epsiode with two bonus After Party episodes. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dec 11, 2023•34 min
Due to technical difficulties, this week's episode is being replaced by two After Parties. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dec 11, 2023•26 min
“In a 30 second span, two of the most iconic Dance Moms moments happen back to back,” Christi exclaims as "She's a Maniac" has those and more iconic moments to spare. To mark the occasion (and to celebrate one of her few episodes where she doesn't suffer) the Bitches welcome Paige Hyland to the Barre! Abby brings in Broadway dancer Rachelle Rak to choreograph the Golddigga group number. It's a not too subtle jab at Melissa, who was just secretly married, but it sure is fun to have to explain wha...
Dec 04, 2023•1 hr 38 min
"I can’t drink I’ll die!" laments Christi as she nurses a migraine while trying to still overcome the fact Jill really seemed like she wanted Kendall to play Rosa Parks. It's the second half of "The Apple of Her Eye" and it's time for Power House Dance Competition where the ALDC is up against Cathy's boys once more, and this time losing to Cathy isn't an option. The last time Abby went head to head with Cathy, it ended in a water bottle fight and plenty of screaming, something neither Cathy or A...
Nov 27, 2023•1 hr 5 min
Order your official Back to the Barre merchandise by Monday, November 27 to guarantee Christmas delivery!! https://www.jakenothing.com/collections/back-to-the-barre XO, Christi & Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Nov 22, 2023•3 min
"Red plastic rhinestone crap, blue plastic rhinestone crap," utters Christi as one of her most iconic scenes comes into play as these bitches cover the first half of the massive Season 3 episode "The Apple of Her Eye". Joining our moms is none other than newly dubbed Bitch #3, Jill Vertes! There could be no better guest for the occasion as this episode features one of Jill's most infamous attempts to bolster Kendall's standing with Abby, so she's here to explain herself! After a finishing a disa...
Nov 20, 2023•2 hr
"We're not very smart, we haven't done Back to the Barre for a while," Christi confesses as the bitches get ready to ease back into the Barre with a quick look at some of Season 3's Promos. It's been a busy few weeks of filming and traveling for both Christi and Kelly. Between producing and Dance Moms Reunions, they managed to miss a whole episode! But fear not Bitchettes as this week they're dissecting two classic Dance Moms promos, featuring homages to both Flashdance and Take on Me. For 30 se...
Nov 13, 2023•52 min
"Why do we care?" Christi asks as Bitch #1 and Bitch #2 have it out for Mackenzie on the second half of Camouflaged Maneuvers. Melissa reveals Mackenzie's sprained ankle will keep her from performing for a suspiciously short 72 hours. Abby is upset by this turn of events and insists that Mackenzie sit in a wheelchair for the duration of the episode. But before the moms can even process why the ALDC even has this wheelchair on hand, Mackenzie is caught doing cartwheels on camera which infuriates ...
Oct 30, 2023•1 hr 14 min
“If we did this whole episode it would be like The War and Peace of Dance Moms," warns Christi as our duo begin tackling the first part of the two hour epic "Camouflaged Maneuvers". The ALDC returns for practice after a brief break with a longer than expected five days to go until their next competition. Abby is frustrated with second place, even Pyramid topper Brooke is only given backhanded niceties. The remedy is an extended back to basics training to prep for a group Hip-Hop dance routine in...
Oct 23, 2023•1 hr 34 min
"I'm so uncomfortable," Christi says speaking for us all as the moms take Abby on a speed dating excursion in "All's Fair in Love and War". Supposedly love is in the air and Abby decides to center this week's group dance on a tragic love story with Your Dream Will Be My Dream. While the moms welcome the return of Nick Dobbs to bolster the performance, Abby's choice to center the piece around a dying Brooke, who is also deeply uncomfortable with the choreography, doesn't sit well with everyone. T...
Oct 16, 2023•1 hr 34 min
“This is either the most deranged show of all time or the greatest piece of entertainment to ever hit the airwaves," says Christi as this seemingly sad episode continues to go off the rails as the moms must confront the death of Broadway Baby and one depressed Abby. Christi and Kelly are supposedly still not on good terms, but as they'll attest now they'd long made up by this point so the show must spend time to try and find a narratively satisfying way to capture that on camera. Producers have ...
Oct 09, 2023•1 hr 28 min
“As the leader of the Bitchettes, I’d like to issue a blanket apology to everyone I’ve let down," Christi laments as she endures Episode 8 of Season 3 "You've Been Unfriended". The mere thought of having a heart to heart moment with Melissa of all people brings a shiver down Christi's spine, but this episode remains a sore spot as it not only features some horrific treatment of Chloe, but contains Christi and Kelly's big fight. As tensions brew between Christi and Kelly over their lack of commun...
Oct 02, 2023•1 hr 31 min
"Chloe and Paige took their first dance class 20 years ago, probably early September right after Labor Day," Christi remembers as these moms realize they've been officially been friends for 20 years this month! Few friends have ever gone on quite the journey that these two have, but 20 years later they're still the baddest bitches in town! With the help of their trusty intern Matt, Christi and Kelly are going to answer questions to see how much they know about one another. The catch? If they get...
Sep 25, 2023•1 hr 3 min
"I'm like five feet behind everybody, like you guys go ahead I'm just going to stay back here," Kelly remarks as the second half of "Rotten to the Core" sees bottles and bags being hurled left and right. Cathy's limo entrance in Detroit draws the immediate ire of the moms, which only worsens as Jalen's dad starts to pick a fight with Abby. If that wasn't enough, Holly requests that Abby acknowledge Nia's RND which results in Abby not only insulting both Holly's intelligence and Nia's pain, but a...
Sep 18, 2023•1 hr 11 min
"I'm recapping this week and I have to say, it's not all that bad! says Christi. "Yeah, cause you ain't in it!" Kelly points out. It's Christi's dream come true as she can shit-talk all she wants and shares none of the embarrassment as Dance Moms Season 3 Episode 7 begins. Abby is thrilled by Cathy's defeat in the previous competition, but takes the opportunity to chastise the girls for only winning by a tenth of a point. Pointing to Christi and Chloe's absence, Abby threatens to suspend any dan...
Sep 11, 2023•1 hr 20 min
Throwing it back to one of our favorite episodes. See you Monday for all new episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sep 08, 2023•1 hr 26 min
"It was an acting job for me," says Cathy of how she approached working on Dance Moms. Yes, today Christi and Kelly finally welcome Abby's on-screen rival and former Dance Mom Cathy Nesbitt-Stein to the show! Cathy was seemingly the only person on the show who was keenly aware of what reality TV expected of them. She always played a heightened version of herself. In regards to being Abby's primary foil, Cathy discusses how much of the bitterness was played up for camera and how she really feels ...
Aug 28, 2023•1 hr 4 min
“I'm not yelling at children!” exclaims Christi as things get heated on the second half of the "Boys Are Cuties, Girls Have Cooties". Abby is fuming over Cathy's all boys team, which Christi correctly guesses will result in their girls getting pushed that much harder. Abby launches directly into harsh criticisms of the soloists and starts getting on every girl's case about their hats for Pink Lemonade. Cathy's boys bring the charm as OnStage America commences. All Abby needs the girls to do is b...
Aug 21, 2023•47 min
“I love when she says wild shit to the kids,” says Christi. “Because the kids just look at her like she's crazy.” On the sixth episode of Dance Moms’ third season, Abby gets angry with the kids. After having come 4th in the last competition, no one is awarded the top of the pyramid. An upcoming On Stage America competition in New Jersey aims to pit the girls against Cathy's all male group; Abby is not prepared to take home anything but first place. The girls begin rehearsing Pink Lemonade while ...
Aug 14, 2023•1 hr 16 min
"Me? I'm the biggest bitch of them all," says Dance Moms choreographer Ed Phelan on this episode of Back at the Barre. Ed has been choreographing for over 25 years, including working with Abby well before Dance Moms was conceived. As someone who was there at the beginning; Ed offers insight into why he thinks the show could have only worked with this group of moms and girls. He addresses many of his concerns going in and how producers originally pitched him as Abby's villainous foil. Christi and...
Aug 07, 2023•56 min
Please excuse the non-intro and lack of description as we are working through some technical difficulties....what else is new? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jul 31, 2023•1 hr 45 min
“How exactly do you immigrate home?” is the question that hangs over the latest episode of Back to the Barre. The Dance Moms and their girls are headed to Dance Troupe Incorporated in Greensboro, North Carolina to perform an immigration-themed group number. Abby proves that she doesn’t know what immigration means, the difference between Ellis Island and Staten Island, or quite where the Titanic went. She praises Sophia, who has gone to film a movie in L.A., despite having nothing to do with her ...
Jul 24, 2023•1 hr 38 min
“I got so much hate for this episode,” explains Christi as the Dance Moms return to the ALDC and bring the excitement back to the show. Emotions are running high all around. Abby makes the Moms sign a crazy new contract before allowing them back in the studio. Melissa remains genuinely scared that Sophia–famous for performing 54 consecutive turns onstage–will replace Maddie as Abby’s new star. Sophia’s mom Jackie refuses to argue or get catty which makes the Moms question what she’s doing on the...
Jul 17, 2023•1 hr 42 min
“Abby is so gleeful that we’re gone,” says Christi. “Dumbass, you obviously need us.” On the second episode of Dance Moms’ third season, the Moms are sitting in the parking lot, refusing to speak on camera until their contract negotiations are met. Producers have spun this into a protest to get Kelly back on the team. Abby brings in new girls to participate in competition in Indiana, including Hadley who appeared on ‘Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition’ and whom Abby repeatedly called “roadkill.” ...
Jul 10, 2023•1 hr 48 min
“We're getting into the deepest recesses of Dance Moms hell. I can feel the heat,” says Christi about the show’s Season Three opener. Abby has returned from filming her spin-off show more arrogant than ever, but still so jealous of the girls’ success and newfound opportunities, she’s now scary cruel. This only bands the Moms closer together, everyone but Kelly, who has kept Brooke and Paige away. Of course, Abby’s worst offense is her blue rhinestone jewelry and matching eyeshadow, not to mentio...
Jul 03, 2023•2 hr 31 min
