This podcast was recorded and produced on gadigal Land.
We would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians and payer respect to elder's past and present.
Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? This is my final MATHS related interview.
Are they talking about me?
She's like yep, it was Australia's reactions paused a lot of drama and they never got it. It just went nuts.
Hello and welcome back to back to reality.
I'm Selena and I'm Tany.
And today we have the most exciting guests. We have been wanting this person so long and back to reality. She has grace Dale screens many times. She not only one Love Island, she was a bombshell on another season one on Love Island Games. And she's just come back from the jungle. She's just done. I'm a celeb. Get me out of here. It is Tina Product.
What an intro? Ks g on the intro. I love that.
It's been a hot minute. I've been saying please come on for so long.
You're finally.
Yes, you did, I feel like you know? Schedules looked and busy.
Yes, naturally now tell us everything? Why?
Why? Yeah? Everything why I was doing.
Why did you decide to go on I'm a slept talk us through?
Oh gosh, I think you know, after heading into the villa one too many times, I was definitely keen to do something like not many people would want to venture outside the Spanish villa, like it is absolutely beautiful, But for me, I just wanted to challenge myself in like a new way. And honestly, I was just so excited to get out of like the dating yes Tell Advised Australian TV. Yeah, I just was so excited not to date. I feel like after like going on Love Island, it
really just jaded me going on dating shows. I'm sure you guys like feel the same, Like once you do one, you're kind of like, where is the love of my life? Like are they here?
Don't exist?
So having that pressure kind of like taken off was really exciting to me. And obviously like it's for charity, so there's a great pause behind it, but beyond that, like being able to just do something new and I'm fully aware that it's like the coolest thing I will ever do. Like how many times you're ever going to be in the middle of a jungle in South Africa, Like that's never gonna happen again. I feel like that's a pretty cool experience. I just couldn't say no to it. No.
I literally was thinking, because you have obviously I know you, and you have such a like fun personality, and I feel like on the Love Islands you don't really see it, and I think people don't really know like wh you are as a person. So seeing you in the challenges and stuff was just like, yes, like this is a teater that like we know, but like people will be like.
Oh my gosh, she's actually like funny and cute, and I just cried all the time, Like on Love Island, like you're just like pining over people like all the time. Like there are moments that I guess you get to be yourself, but so much of like dating shows center around like your relationship for sure with that other person, and I feel like, especially as girls, I just feel like we get positioned as like going after like the guys a lot of the time and like that narrative.
So getting out of that was like so important for me and getting to like show people more of who I am because I feel like unless you like follow me or know me, just like wouldn't get that at.
All because as a fellow POC, anytime I see another fellow Asian on my screen, especially on Australian reality TV, I'm like, yes, yeah, it was so good to see you.
For sure. I feel like even like growing up, like I would like watch High Five and like Kathleen, Yeah, I was like, yes, I love Kathleen. So I know, like from experience, it definitely does make a difference when you see people who like look like you on the screens and having a solid ex experience where you get time because I feel like so often I watched The Bachelor and they'll be like a perc in like that first cocktail party and they go up and I might
never see them again. In fact, they didn't even get to know her name, Like where did she go? Bring her back? Like that don't last that.
Long and there No, it's such a true point, like I feel like you notice it more when you're like actively looking on it, but then sometimes you take its to back you're like, oh wow, it's just a lot of the same type people on mainstream media and it's like, oh okay, So when you do notice that when you're doing someone that's more like you or you're.
Like, oh, yeah, that's why representation is so important, because what, what's your background?
So my mum is from the Philippines and then my dad's Caucasian. I was gonna say Astralian, Like what is that? So yeah, my mom's pillow so I've got that in me. But yeah, yeah, it was a big thing for me being able to like play that like part in media and have like diversity.
Yeah. Well even I felt that like watching you, because I obviously watched your Love Island season, I was like, oh my god, Sleigh. But also I feel like I always noticed when someone is like Asian or I just like, oh, they're giving like an Asian vibe. I don't know, I just feel like, yeah, that she's Asian or she's one of us. Yeah, so when I saw I was like yes, And even like going back to your time on Love Island, like there was times where I felt like you'll maybe mugged off.
Or things that happened.
I was like, oh, and you had that moment when you're talking about like the experience of dating, and it's so interesting seeing it like play out on TV as well in that in that setting. But I was like, yeah, Wow, it's so refreshing to see it, but also like eye opening to like what the experience can be like.
But no, I loved.
Watching you on this setting because it was so different. It wasn't focusing on the dating, even though they tried to a little bit.
The Harrison thing, I actually can't deal.
I was like, this is not I don't what's going on.
I don't think it's not a thing. Yeah, let's shut that down. But anytime I like post a TikTok at the moment, but where's Harrison, I don't know. I don't know where Harrison.
People at the beach Ba's.
Bond eyed I do and life saving things. But it's funny because, like you, I go on I like wondered if he was getting similar comments as well. So I went on his like TikTok or whatever he has. Yeah, I went on Harrison's TikTok and there's like no comments like asking, but on all of mine. Literally, I just feel like when you're a woman, like people are so interested. I mean, to be fair, I do have like the love I on background. Maybe my audience she's interested in
like who I'm dating. But it's just interesting that like I get all the all of those comments, even in like interviews I did following, like with media like like what happened? I'm like, you would know if there was a kiss, they would have been like producers would have been right, Yes, Yeah, I did hear from some producers that they were like rooting for it. I'm like for what? For what? It's just not the environment to find love.
Like I'm pretty sure. Within the first like ten minutes of Harrison being in the I walked out and I was like, guys, announcement, I have finally I finally done a poo Yeah, I finally don't like not this chick? Can we please to the pooh? Situation? Is that vultable?
But like so many ques situation is it like a drop toilet?
Is it like a port? I was most interested, not interested. It's like the wrong word concerned. My biggest concern before going in was like the toilets, like what are we working with? What are we working with? And tany you and I were at Beyond the Valley over New Years and I was asking Callum, who obviously did.
Love Iland, can we just clarify Tina did not tell me before going to the jungle. I saw it live, and I was like, this bitch has lied. Wait, don't know why I didn't ask where you were going because you've been away weeks on time. I was like, slack, she's going another brand trip or something.
And I watched.
I was like, oh my god. But at BTV we were chatting about it and you brought it up, and I was like seeing. I was like, what item would you bring and just having this like wholesome conversation, not realizing she's going into the jungle, and then I'm like, oh, how uncomfortable will you felt.
I didn't film CUMF because I brought it up because I wanted to know about the toilet. I asked Callum like it was, what are the toilets like? And he threw me off because he said it was like a pulley.
Yes, like a bucket.
He was saying, it was a bucket of ship and then you pull it up and you'd have to take it and pull it up like a thingy and then that's what I took out of it, and then you have to empty the bucket into like another hole somewhere.
So I was like, ew, I would just.
Not prove it the whole.
He made it sound worse, but it is bad. It's not a pulley because it's a drop toilet. Why would that happen? So basically from the top it is like a drop toilet situation, but it looks like a toilet seat and stuff is like charcoal and sawdus, so you put the sawdust after you like go, so that like absorbs the charcoal masks the scent. I feel like that stretched to say that it's doing either of those shings, but that's in theory of what it should sit doing.
And then each morning there's like a rotation of chores we all do, and cleaning the TOIDs is one. But all you have to do is you like go down the bottom. There's like a little door you un lock and there is a bucket a poo. You like, you got a lid before you skid, is what we say, because you don't want any overflow. So my god, yes, yes, but you put gloves up. We would put gloves on, like pull it out and then you like take shapes, yeah, poo gloves. I did it like three times, which I
feel like was enough. If I was there for twenty five days, I'm like, that's my bit. Yeah, that's it. I wanted to do it, so then I had the full experience, feel like I was doing something and you do it by yourself, would you? I had to have someone help me because it was so heavy and like the whe is like sloshing around. It's just like so on.
No, it's the mixture of the both textures and smells.
And I'm like, I'm constipated, So why am I picking up all of your poop? Because I can't even sort my own business out right now.
I would be terrified to pooh in that environment because I'm just like, no, it's not right, not for me. I don't know if you guys watched Too Hot to Handle Chloe On Too Hot to Handle had to go to hospital because she refused to pooh the whole time and then she had like an infection because she just couldn't pooh.
Oh my god.
She was panicking about being in a group settings and not pooing.
I was like, fair enough, I did that. When I was fifteen, I went on a holiday with my first boyfriend and there was a hurricane or a cyclone, so they like, weren't you weren't you couldn't flush the toilets for some reason. You had to go down to the rab a hole bucket of water and then manually do it. But I'm like, I'm not going to make an announcement right now, but that I need to go. Like I was mortified, like at fifteen in your first relationship as
far as your boyfriend's concerned as girls don't pooh. Yeah. So I was running with that narrative at that point and I came back to Australia and I'm like, I'm not well. The stomach was like protruding. It was so I couldn't risk it in the jungles, like we're not doing this again.
I just have to know about periods though, How does that work?
Do you tell the juices? Yeah?
Like so period I can't do any shark or crocodile.
My god, true, I don't know if there's sharks and like crocodiles and crocodiles true, true, they can smell. Okay, So I'm on the pil So I was like, there's no way. Yeah, absolutely whistling even in there. We're gonna skip, We're gonna skip. But I think what the situation was there was like a little like box with sanitary things in it. But I'm pretty sure, you couldn't chuck that
in the drop toilet. You had to like just kind of like place it back in the paper bag and the next day when you're emptying out the things, I think you like, I don't know, yeah, so I think there was things in place, but the recommendation would be like they didn't say that you had to, but it's easier, like if you can skip away period.
Because I'm like, which I love period on im Like, girl, you gotta that stresses That's what's always stressed me out about this. I'm like, oh my god. Some of the challenges, Like one of the first ones you did, you were in a tank water and it was freezing cold. I'm like, oh my god, my pad would have been soaking.
Oh my god, imagine pads just like floating in the tank. You're like in the water. Is that a start, right? Yes? I feel like I wouldn't recommend like, if your ladies are planting on heading in, don't bring your packets. I think you've gotta I think you've gotta make the switch to tampons to feel more secure. You can get if you're swimwear. Actually you can only bring in like six pairs of underwear.
Well, I wanted to ask about, okay, six six pairs, how you wash them?
Just like my hands. You get so you get like this eco soap because we love the environment, but everything goes back into the water pretty much like there's like this cute little stream and you like wash me there, but everything goes into it. So you get soap, which I'm not convinced is so like it doesn't start. It's doesn't feel like it's cleaning. You just have to live with the fact that you get filthy, like sometimes we will.
Is there too much charge left ere? And you just have to live with that.
You just like shampoo toothpaste? Is that provided?
It's all Yeah, so everyone gets the same thing going in. So all you go in with is like your backpack with like two pairs of pants, two T shirts. I was under the impression we were getting double the amount. That was not the case. There was one pair of shorts, one pair of long pants. I'm like, oh, oh, that's not enough options. It's hot, and then you hand wash everything, so you just pretty much like live in your own fields.
Like I would go wash my hands and by the time I got back to my bed, I was like my hands are dirty again, Like what is this? What is that?
I'm no sunny or anything either.
Yes, was there anyone that was really smelly?
You don't need to name names.
I feel like you wouldn't me. I actually I don't think I smelled. I think if you were a producer and you came in, you probably would have thought you guys all stink like crap. But because we're all just living in it, you didn't smell much. I will say, obviously there's a fire burning at all times, which I didn't think about, Like the fires on like all day. We just leave it on, so it takes too long to like, yeah, start a fire. So the fire is just like on the whole day. If you're cooking, you're
like sweating. So we'll say, the more you cook, the more you would like smell because you're like, oh really over okay, But you're doing a good deed, so you know, anything goes.
Was devastated because there was no celebrity chef this time.
I know, I know, always ad making a chef, but Sam Thirday was so good, which I think he's secretly just like what's the chef? Because he's done a cooking show before. He's done celebrity, come down with me and he won. Oh yes, okay, so and he like was debooning the fish like we would get given some like you win thirteen stars, but then you get given something
you've never seen, never seen in your life. Like I think one day we had thirteen stars, which is like the maximum you can get, and two black chickens came out. I've never black chicken, but everything on it is black, like it's beak is black, it's legs as black, like its feet is black and their whole so you just have to like like chop it. I'm buying little chicken breast at the shop.
I'm not feathers like you have to pluck.
No feathers to pluck. But it was just bizarre, like no meat on it, like the food you were getting even though you just didn't know what you were going to get. It wasn't like, oh, you're going to get like this crumbed chicken. Now chicken, it's like maybe the beans and rice is better off. Yeah, the meat was good, like it was just good to like try so much like different stuff.
Though proteins what was like the worst thing.
You had to eat as part of a dinner anything I did an eating challenge. So my eating challenge was the first thing that came out was a brain, and I just thought, this is just so unwell, like why am I doing this? Not on but my biggest beer going into it was an eating challenge, So I was glad that I got one, because otherwise I don't think I would have felt like I had that whole like the so I was because I'm sick in the head. I was kind of a little bit glad that I
got an eating challenge. But then the brain came out. I was like, oh God, and we were actually in So there was a week where we had a boys versus girl situation which we can talk about, but we had to go up against the guys in our eating challenge, which felt just so stressful, like Sam Thaday is such a gun. Like I remember Reggie couldn't eat one of
her worms. We had to eat in a worm. We had to eat a worm like one night, and he was like, I'll eat yours for you, Regge, and he just ate two worms like no issue on the way.
He like sculled that like rank drink in like one gulf. I was like, oh my, I just don't have the capacity to do that.
But I was lucky because I went against Harrison first on this brain and he just has a weak stomach. He was like suffering. He was like crying. Oh he was eating it. I was kind of like, is this pate pato is like pretty gross in theory? Yeah it is, but like a path Totty's, we need to go get the Totty's pate. Ah. That stuff is so good. But now I'm going to be thinking of brain brain So that was pretty bad. But having that like time limit on it was good because the men you just had
to do it, go, go, go and then. But the worst thing I think, I think the rats tale. I've told you about the Rats tel.
When I saw that rat come out on the screen, I was like, you're eating a rat?
No way, Like I was like, that's horrific.
That too.
I started I was crying, like, I started like bawling because I thought this, I feel like this goes against my values to eat a rat on TV, Like, I don't want to push again like the fur because the because Sam Samada had to eat and so did Nikki. They ate. One of the things that others ate was this eyeball, but had an eyelid as well. The lashes. They ate lashes. I feel like feeling that's that's gross, that's actually fair. I think that's worse. Like I was
lucky that I didn't have that. And then the last thing we ate, which I found challenging. I don't know why, but I really struggled was balls. I don't know what they were balls the testicles belonged to. There were testicles of boar testicles, maybe bore testicles. But it reminded me.
Of just like what was the texture like like you.
Know, like that log of dog food, but like hard because I feel like dog food. I'm like, I feel sad if like I can't eat dog food, and then our dogs eating dog food.
My dog gets fresh mint, so she's actually, yeah, so I don't.
Have a dog. That's just kind of what it reminded me of. But I think the idea that was like testicles and I was like ripping it apart with her hands, like try to eat it. And then I had that like shot. It was like a fish thing was it like it has bones in it? It has like a little tiny fish bones like you know, and not well is like a delicacy. I think, I don't know.
In some there's a try like a fermented fish that I love it, but it didn't look like no, but you put it in salads and stuff in the way they make it, it's really yummy like stuff. It's like fish sauce. I was like, that's doable, but it's the glugginess. It's it's the tie versions called bala, which is like marinated fish. It's kind of stinky and a lot of coisteners don't like it.
The Cambodians, I'm half Cambodian, we have howk.
Similar, it's similar, and you put it in like salads. It's like a you can either use a juice or you have the this it's like a whole thing. So I can and they must have blended that up. I was thinking that that's doable, but not with the fish bones.
There was kind of the bones, but so much of the time of the eating challenges. I think this is a delicacy somewhere. Yeah, and it's all about like the context. That's what I'm trying to tell myself. And sauce fine a little bit. If I on like we're chewing, it would be done, Like give me some tomato sauce. I put tomato sauce on everything like i'd be I would have jungle would have been so easy. There was slado saus.
Like I would have smuggled in. I reckon a little macus sweet and sour or like a barbecue.
That's what I would have smuggled. I didn't realize people, actually, I didn't realize people actually smuggled things in. I just thought that was like a production bit and like they would like give you your thing, and like that's what you smuggle in because like people are walking around with like cad Cadbury blocks in previous seasons. So my mind, I'm like, how would you get that in? But you literally rock in on your person, Like I'm wearing my like dress
and I'm coming in. I'm like, how am I going to bring anything in? So what I ended up doing was running around my like accommodation before I went in, grabbing things from the kitchen randomly because I was like, wait, crap, I don't have anything, and like I need to bring
something in, Like what am I doing? So what I did was I cut, you know, like in a sports but like I cut like a hole in the sports like behind the cup, and I like stuffed all these like lollies in there, like hardboard lollies because I felt like they wouldn't melt. And then I also had like a glad bag of coffee and cocoa powder like mixed together. But then I was too scared to get them out. So I never even had my own contraband because I was too scared. I was like, I don't want trouble.
I don't want to get in trouble. I'm such a stickler for rules because I thought, O, if we get in trouble, like I don't want to be like the reason why. Yeah, in the end, they were like, all right, you're all in trouble, like get it all out. And then we just had to like eat everything as fast as and I've never felt like so sick. Like I was just sitting by the bucket like pouring it into my mouth. I'm like, this is not a good look. This is my rock bottom. It's out of my sports
brass literally literally. But then some people had it like strapped to their body and stuff, like think Maddie J had like those protein balls like strapped, he like got tape and strapped. Yeah, and like in his jocks and stuff, apparently of her.
And what was it like with all the celebs, Like were you nervous with the dynamic because everyone's from diffferent walks of life, from different Like it's so random the mix of people. What was that experience like, because you never would really be around people ever.
I think that's what makes the show and the format so great because you get such an interesting mix of people and they're like spheres would never normally type. Do you think at the crux of it, everyone is a good person, which is what's really nice. They're not there to like have a villain or anything like that. So
you get a really nice mix of people. And I think it's just because there's nothing else going on, there's an opportunity for you to really get to know people on a level that you just never would Like I just didn't think I would be sitting down with like Dave Hughes, like talking about my relationship problems, Like he's giving me dating advice, like what's going on? Like you just wouldn't expect it. I didn't expect him to be like that.
I was like, I don't know why I expect him to be completely different vibe, so did I.
I love him, like, I feel like he was such a nice energy to be around, and like having comedians like there was Geraldine and Dave in there, and they were just it's just nice to have some laughs, like we've got nothing, We've got literally nothing else going on. I just like to have a little bit of a laugh. So it was so nice having that mix, and I think, yeah, there are the dynamic at the start I like struggled with because first off, I'm coming in like from Love Island,
so basically no one knows who I am. Basically the situation, no one knows who I am, so I'm going in with that. They don't know much about Love Island. They're probably like who is this, Like chim in a wonder, like what is she doing in here? So I kind of had that and that's probably my own insecurities as well, like they're not thinking about it like that. But that's how I kind of went into it, like feeling a
bit like out of place, like fostra syndrome. And then the other thing was I at the time when I went in, I was the only like single person in there, so I genuinely just felt like no one cared about anything I had to say, because small talk is like how did you meet your partner? Sure, where did you meet your partner? Like how old are your kids? Yeah, it's not intentional, it's just what's interesting. I'm finding myself
asking people those questions. So I felt like people didn't really know how to I just noticed at first, and I'm sure if any they're I don't think they're going to listen to this, But if they did, I feel like no one asked me like a question, Like the first sale was like, no one's asking me anything. But it was just that first layer of small talk. Once that chipped away, I feel like there was so much more space for like deeper, deeper conversations as you were all spiraling at that point.
There was one deep conversation that really hit home for me, And when you cried, I cried. I feel like, well, a lot of us in the room here I have faced this issue because you talk about a lot about your internal struggles of facing racism growing up in Australia, Like, can you share a little bit more about that?
Yeah, I mean, I guess it's a I've only really come to reflect on at the end of my twenties, and I think there's, like, in hindsight, so much of my early twenties I was just insecure and like doubting myself a lot. And I think having gone on Love Island that kind of gave me a lot of confidence because I honestly felt like it was a running track in my mind that I was a token in there, Like I felt that like from when I got on,
and I didn't have an issue with that. I was like, okay, cool, Like they needed an Asian person on it, and that's going to be me. But I didn't think I would get far because of my own internalized racism and my insecurities. I thought, no one's going to pick me because of my race, because of my background. And I guess that just shows like a real world scenario in an amplified environment, Like those are things that you go through high school
thinking about yourself, through your dating life. You're always wondering like if that is going to affect who you're with. And I think going on Love Island and having that such a positive experience let me kind of see beyond that. But I think as I've kind of moved past that, there's still like so much to work through because on the other hand, I didn't feel like I fit in with like the other girls, like even like in our industry. Yeah, like I do feel like an outlier sometimes, and I
think a lot of those insecurities. While I can recognize them now, it doesn't mean I've moved past them, because I feel like in my everyday like dating life, I'm so conscious of it. Like I remember my cousin tried to set me up with a friend and she told him like that I'd been on Love Island, and my first thought was, like, oh my god, why did you tell him that He's gonna think I'm like this, like blue eyes, like blonde girl, like big boobs or something
like he's gonna think of something crazy. Not that everyone on love even looks like that. I just feel like that is like the stereotype, the stereotype, and I find like I'm really nervous if someone and hasn't met me, like for shot, they will like think of me. And I've just been like trying to like spend a lot of time like working through that, and there's still so much more to it because I feel like I grew up like rejecting my culture, like I don't know how
you guys kind of feel towards that. But I look back now and I'm like, there are so many parts that I feel like I shied away from and tried so hard to be white and like be like connected to more that side of my dad's side of my family, and like now I look back and I just find that, like so sad.
Yeah, I know. I mean on my season, we all saw my person preferred, you know, the more Caucasian that was wide Yeah, and then I don't know, I didn't actually see it and hear it because it's like I felt to watch it because I was like, this is a vibe this guy's giving to me, just knowing where he grew up and knowing the type of pep be around. I just had that fee Northern Beaches.
So this is so funny because I do. So I made a comment I think at the time, like when your episode, Like when that episode aired, I feel like I was with Jane Lewis.
Yeah, I remember seeing that the Owner show.
Everyone yes, and I think I we were just talking about how out of pocket it was and inappropriate and just sad that someone would make that comment so freely, Like what are you really thinking if that's what you think is like socially acceptable to say that you have an issue with, like you're dealing with someone's race. It's like a barrier to like connect.
And it was so like because you were like, I'm not getting what I'm getting out of this conversation. I'm going to ask directly. The fact you had to get to that point first of all was crazy, but then the response, like I was just like too stunned to speak.
So he was at my cousin's wedding, my good friends, what my cousin, what is going on my cousin his day? I don't even think you would know him. Okay, it was like a gay wedding, a beautiful gay wedding. But there I think his part now my cousin's partner, his close friends or maybe I don't know.
Actually I do know this person. Yeah yeah, yeah.
His name's Calum. Yeah yeah, yeah, yes, they're very close, so lovely, but they're like best friends.
Yes.
That's just so bizarre to me because I'm so confused because Callum's so lovely. But yeah, and I saw him there. I was like, I'm not going to acknowledge because he would have seen that video, like what I said, of course, yeah, he's probably not in his algorithm, probably not just to work for him.
I don't know. But there was a scene where I was crying and I was like, it's not my I'm Asian. And I was like the same when I was watching you when you were like, I just wish I was white, because that's literally what we're saying to ourselves. Yeah, which is so sad.
Because it's like I think from my experience, because I look white, I've never had the I find nat because it's like people assume I'm just white because I don't look as Asian as like my relatives and you know,
my sister and stuff. So it's interesting because I think people then feel like they can make a little comment because they think that they can connect with you because you look it's like no, like I'm actually Asian, and then it's the whole thing, like I have to justify my Asian nest to people.
But you know what, though, I found people just make those comments because they don't even realize because I get those comments and then I'll be like like I remember like growing up, you would like take photos and then someone in the group would be like oh my god, I look so Asian, and and I'd be like, oh my god, so do I sorry, but you're like a hot age yea the whole, but you don't look Asian or like you don't look People say that to me, and I'm like, are you okay? Obviously do don't? What
else do I look right now? Are you blind?
It's really it's an interesting like dynamic because it's like I've seen it from like the perspective, so I kind of get the whole feelings round. But it's yeah, it's weird to then feel like I'm justifying that because then I feel like when I'm in space with Asian people, I would say that, like I'll make a comment and they'll be like, oh wait, you can't say that. I was like, no, like I am, and then they're like but then the vibe also changes like oh okay, cool.
So it's it's interesting, but it's like again like I relate to like trying to hide it because I felt like anytime it came up, like when I could speak another language, I was put in like ESL classes at school, and then I felt like you're being punished because you're in like the dumb class or you know, and it just was like but I can speak like, I can speak both fine.
So it was weird because I felt like I would try and like hide it.
And it was easy for me because I you know, I looked like just like another Caucasian kid, and there wasn't many Asian people at school, Like there was like a handful I literally had me.
Yeah, like literally someone else. Yeah, there was like three people.
There's like literally lectures you can come hand yeah, which.
I think makes a difference and like, and it's different.
Now for sure, Like it's so much more multicultural. Even like in the ere I grew up, there's more Asian restaurants and more like even just other like cultures. It was very predominantly white the area I grew up in, But now it's things have changed. It's like twenty years later, it's it's more, yeah's diversity, but it's like it's still like a thing you notice in media and stuff like that there's representation elsewhere, but in those mainstream spaces we
see it more limited. So it was good that you had that platform to be able to like, you know, have the conversation and like talk about in that setting and kind of share your experience, because I think where else would we see that conversation going, you know exactly.
I think it's hard to like have those conversations and honestly, you just kind of like forget the cameras are on and totally just having like a DMM likesurens and I hadn't really spoken, like I've done some bits over the past year, like with writings and stuff and articles that are written, but I haven't like spoken about it and speaking about it with people who don't relate to it is interesting, Like obviously it's met like with a positive reception,
but so much of the time, Like I actually received a DM today from like someone I apparently went to high school with that I don't remember. I checked, and I think we went to high school for like one year and I've never seen him in my life, Okay, but he messaged me. He was like, you know, like I heard about your story on I'm a Celema. I just want to say, like, from like my perspective, like I never viewed it like that, and I always thought
you like a gorgeous, kind beautiful girl. But I'm also like, you don't know me, so where did that come from?
I don't think I.
Don't think we went to school together because the school that he said he was from I only went to one year. So I feel like he's got another image, like people don't even I think.
From I'm not trying to attack people for like having treated you a certain way, but it's like a wider issue of how.
Like don't feel people don't understand like microaggressions for sure, comments that they make, and how they add up. And I think when you tell someone your story of like, you know, I felt different at school. I felt like I had this kind of like beauty standard that I
was working towards. And then people from your past may be like, but you weren't bullied or you weren't this, but you don't understand if you're going to make little comments like, oh, that photo's awful of me, I look Asian in that Friday, then that makes me feel a certain way occasion it makes you feel like the way
you look is wrong. So I feel like, on the one handley like I can imagine like there are so many boys in high school that are probably like, why did she say that boys were means her in high school? Like because you don't even realize doing that and I'd like to hope that it's really different in schools these days, but I honestly just don't know because kids are so mean. Yeah they say.
Well, then they've got social media. Now they're even worse and the convers but the conversations aren't being had. And that's why when we do see these moments or even like on Maths this season, when we're having these racial conversations, that it's just there and then it's not unpacked, it's not discussed, it's not it's just like, Okay, these guys said a bit of a racist thing. Let's not talk about how it's probably in appropriate to make a common
problematic occasions. So it's like, Okay, you're not being like I still think it's racist, but you're not being like outwardly racist calling names.
But it's still like the general tone is I think it is undertone? Yeah, it's undertone.
It's like, how do you explain that undertone and those microaggressions to people that they don't get it? Like I like from my season of Maths, and we've gotten into these little comments that the husbands would make, like Sandy Bean called two Indian and like making comments about like the food she would eat. That to me is racist and it's it's micro like not even like the two Indian comment is like crazy, isn't.
What I mean? But what I mean?
And I would ask it back and they'd just be like crickets. It's like, for real, it is racist.
Don't notice things. Or I remember on my season of Love Island, I was coupled up at the start with a guy that would just say like some random things.
And I think one night he we were talking about like when you get like drunk eyes, like when you've had a bit to drink, and he made a comment about how like he looks Asian or like how no, actually he said to me, or your drunk eyes would be like a lot because like because you're Asian, because your eyes are already like and I was like oh, And at that point I was like, you're not my husband, No, it's not me. But I wasn't offended by it because I saw that it's been ignorant. It's just just ignorant.
And I just pulled it up and I was like, hey, that's like not an appropriate comment to make. It's fool with me in this circumstance. But you might say it to someone who's not in the place that I am, and that's not cool. And his comeback was, but I have his friends who are aged.
Like, I'm not racist, but no, and it's like you're probably your one Asian friend.
It's so bizarre. But I think it's just like those little things that I guess hopefully if we talk about things more than those conversations like trickle down shore, people are more aware of the conversations they're having, the comments that they make, and then that's kind of where the real difference is. So going on something like I'm a celeb and having a conversation on that platform where you know what, like I'm thinking about the audience broke down
like families. It's very family and I'm hoping like that that kind of like makes it down because when you're on TikTok or Instagram and you're using your platform to talk about things that are important to you, it is only making it to the people who are interested in that content. Like the way the algorithm works, you can have like a strong stance on something, but unless that person's algorithm is feeding to them, then it doesn't see
the light of day. So being able to talk about it on a platform that will go beyond you know who my audience is. Was something that was important to me, not luckily.
I just want to touch base real quick on I don't know if you guys go through this, but like I feel like being Asian in Australia, like in the dating scene, I either get fetish fetish sized or like they don't want to bar me at all.
Spiral about this.
Or Tina made me spiral with this point the dating app thing.
So basically on like all dat like not working. And you know what, I like dating apps because I find them used to Like I'm a busy girl, like the dating apps. Respect the dating apps. I'm on them all my dates last year dating apps, So like respect the dating apps.
But however, however, we got a point to raise because I tested this theory out and you're right, thank you.
So you can actually go on and filter through so you can filtered by age location, but you can filtered by race, which I just think, why are we promoting this? It's just unnecessary. I feel like you are making it into something it doesn't need to be sure if you're putting it as a feature. Okay, the argument could be like but there are people on this platform that want that feature. There's a demand for it, but I feel like you're encouraging a lens that doesn't need to exist.
And I just think as an app like you need to do better and remove that.
And that's a conversation thing. Like also you can kind of get a general vibe at what someone looks like, maybe where their cultural background lies. But that's something you would like, you'd want to chat on the first seg what's your background?
Like do you know what I mean? But when we had.
This chat, and I had because I always go through phase of deleting, that spiraled, but I initially went through a phase of having race as Asian on the apps. The significant amount of likes versus me not disclosing that was huge.
That's really I tested it out. I'm crazy. Yeah, you should put a black wig on.
But it's like people just like filtering out the Asian people.
It's hard as well, because if I was to meet someone like, honestly, you know what I'll take like love Island. My first sis is a Love Island finished with my partner at the time, if he had seen me on an app, there is no way he would have swiped right. He liked to tell me over and over again that I wasn't his normal type, which just means I'm Asian. I'm Asian, let's say it. But if I was on an app, he never would have swiped right. I can safe to assume, and I think it's a shame like
on dating apps, like everyone's making a judgment. I make judgments. All we have is no one's reading the prompt. If I don't like what I see, then I'm not. Let's not jokeeah, let's be real. But I think having that feature there, I'm wondering, now, am I getting screened before you even see what I look like? Because on the one hand, you're being screened for your looks, so there's that yep, But now there's an element of oh, but my race is an option. It's an option for you
to do. Like the app has made that capability for you to screen out. You could just have it as Caucasian, like if you want to, but to what you.
Said, yeah, what you said to you. Then if you get the fetishiest people, they can then just go into like their Phasian, which is just like it's yes, really yuh. I feel like, yeah, it's like even like my cousin's experience because she's full tie. She had the same experience as you. And we've spoke about this and it's it's like one or the other. Yeah, and it's just like this is just not great. It just makes me when I look back at their history and all of it.
I don't know why that guys.
I one of my, like my only exes that I would like speak positively positively of, like we had on good terms. This is like I was twenty years old. It's a long time ago, but ever since me, all of his girlfriends now have been Asian. This confuses me. He's such a nice guy though, but I'm like, I guess it's me. I'm like that weirds me out my photo still photos are there and he never posts Instagram, so I'm like, I'm next to that. I'm like, oh no, that's so weird to delete.
It gave him yellow fever.
But it's so funny how it's. I think racial preferences when it comes to dating is problematic in itself, Like obviously you have your preferences when it comes to heights.
I've had to really check myself in honesty, Like I feel like it's myself. But also I feel like having gone through like internalized racism, I feel like that has an effect on my dating, like I shy way from like like I feel like I find myself making judgments on people because of like how I've like treated myself or like even like if someone's like why, then I think, oh, well, what will you think of me? And like what where they're from? Like you make all of those judgments for sure.
Morey was judging. No, we're always judging on the dating A list. We judge on the dating apps. Everyone, do be listening seriously.
Well, speaking of love, ilan Xes, was there anyone that you were that you were potentially concerned about coming in the job because we were chatting about this and the panic that I had for you, maybe the hint of a certain person might have been entering because the trauma that you've been through times two to talk us through that.
Yes, there's a certain snake I was worried about entering the jungle, but they were never to be seen trauma because like I'm not done like one, not two, but three shows with my ex and like we have like no contact, no relationship by now at this point, because I just realized the friendship didn't exist, so it wasn't serving me. But I was so like mortified and at the start of the year, like I had friends being like he's not posting on social media, Like he's not posting.
I was like, where is this guy? Like I wouldn't have spoken to you.
Yeah, we were speaking about it was all our last message is our last messages were like because we thought he was potentially going on another show, and then we were talking about this and then I was like, hang on.
I was then like, you're probably panicking.
Because he was thinking he was going to go with your shows and I didn't have that context at the time. And then I was like, oh no, what if they've done this stitch up again? And then he's entering in.
What they started. They thought it was very funny because I was like panicking, like while I was there, and like when you're when you first get to South Africa, you have like a chaperone and they like look after you and your like accommodation and Unknowingly I must have been stressing because she in the background had text production and asked if she could give the final like he's not here, he's not here, And then one day, she was like, Hey, I just want to let you know,
like I've got the all clear to tell you like he's not here. And that made it through, Like even when the psych like visits, you like before you go in, like to have like a little chat before you go in. He and he's known me for years because it's like the same production company as Love Island. So he was like, yes, I heard that you were very nervous. He's laughing, he's laughing, like you're crazy. No not, but it's a valid thing. And I don't think she'd mind me saying this.
But one of the girls on my season was was going on your season of I'm a Cleb. She ended up pulling out.
You did tell me? Yes, you think she spoke anyway?
Yeah, she has been Bronti okay, so Bronti should have come.
Well I thought you was like you guys could have vibed. Was shame.
So Brontie was meant to go on your season will chatting about it. She ended up pulling out because she had anxiety around her partner going on the show. Because there was a teaser that said like something at first sight, it was like the jungle peep. It was like who's going to be on and it was like, oh my god. She it was like a villain, I don't know. And then he was commenting like he was just commenting.
When we spoke. Yeah, that the teases didn't come out till so late, so she still was going on it up until he was he was for whatever it was.
She pulled out quite late, so it was really last minute, and it was because stuff was being pushed out and then he was he was feeding into it, so she was like panicking that he was going to be there fair enough.
I would pulled out to in my mind, I grew all out because I've known in the past, like he gets close when I think he's going to be the wrong. God, but you're not going here if I'm not so exactly. But yeah, I was very really trying to do something because honestly, I think it's like doing a dating show. So much of your personality is attached to that person. I have people still been like are you with people?
Be like I love you so much you still with certa time, you don't love me that much three years ago, but so much of like who you are is attached to that person and not having like an opportunity to just like be myself, Like I feel like this was the first time that I could just fully feel like myself. And like, because you're not in a dating environment, you're actually able to let your walls in, Like I've always
been true to who I am. But if you're trying to date people, you're not gonna lie let it all rip, like you're not gonna let it all hang loose, like you leave some mystery. Yeah, but this time, like I felt comfortable enough to like just like say whatever, do whatever, and just have like fun and have a fun experience without my eggs like across the room, which was an ideal situation for me, and I'm like fine by that was satisfying for me.
One thing that I've always been curious about is how much the participants get paid for this, because although you're doing it for charity, yes, Like how much does one get paid for going?
So I don't know how much everyone else got paid. I know how much I got paid, but is it worth it for me? It was never like a money situation, Like honestly, if they knocked on my door, I would have done it for read because of the charity element, Like my charity was demential Australia and my pop went through that and it just kind of like ripped a hole through the family at the time. So that was really special to me. And then, like I said before, like it's a once in a last time opportunity. I
just never could have said no to it. I feel like the money for me never mattered. Like obviously, like you're going through hell, so like you want to get paid for it. It's your time and it's like work.
Really yeah, I still have rent to pay exactly, but then like the reality of it is like you've got like Dave Hughes who is like one of Australia's leading comedians and like me from Love Island, so like do the math on what that is?
So I'm not like I feel like some people kind of like from shows will look at like the casting back whatever, they paid that much because they're billing that much, because they're making that much. Why would I get paid like as much as Dave Hughes, like what So yeah, I won't talk numbers.
But so people do get paid differently.
Yes, So I feel like there is I mean, I don't know. I am assuming just because I read the leaked article so if you want to go find do you want to go find the leaked article, which I don't know you can gather from that, but I'm assuming
that there is tears. I didn't actually know before I went on there was tears, but that I read the leaked article like everyone else, and I thought, okay, fair enough, fair enough, And like those people, I feel like those like gems that they get on the show, like they've been chasing them for like years, years, years, Like I know that those people have been asked over and over. So like it is interesting though because it is for charity.
So I do find that a little bit, Like I didn't realize that you could be like making such money on it when it is like that charity element. I'm always so intrigued, right I did. I didn't know that either.
And let's just say, like, oh, we want to pay tiny thirty grand, but she only lasts for two weeks? Does she still get the full thirty grand? Like do you know what I mean? I've always wondered like how that all works.
I think there's like baby, yeah, there's a base, and then from a certain point onwards, there's like an amount that like taps on to.
That but all of you guys have to stay for at least what is it like?
Like so the illiminations didn't end til like the eighteenth day, Like that's a lot.
That's actually it's.
Not airing the whole time. So it's crazy because like you don't as a viewer, like you don't think about when it's not on air. What are you just sitting there? Like I'm having naps? Beforehand, they were like, prepare, you're going to be really bored. You might have napped some days. I'm not napping, not napping. If I napped on Love Island, they'd be like, get up, bikini, get up, get your legs out, get your legs out, get it out, like it would be.
Like can you bring a kindle at least? Like that's no, like you.
Just sneak a kindles are like square if you like, don't look, don't look general up here, up here? Yeah no, there's no kindles in there.
And would you do next? You know, next thing you see if you're like, would you do another dating show?
God?
Or would you do another show dating? For me? As you know, we've had many a conversation. It's dry out here, it's hard out here, and I think one maybe then no, I'm doing because see, the thing for me is like the reason why I did Love Island because I honestly was like I'm struggling out here. Else you like hand picked me like a selection of people and they cannot
leave the premises. Start with me, that's with me. And then since then, like I think by like Love Island Games, which was a lot less focused on dating, and I was there for two days, like let's not play about but I got in there and I thought, God, I'm jaded by this, Like it's not I can't see it
being like a genuine thing. And like I think, I think when you do like another dating show, like usually you're on it with other people who've already done it, so it just feels like and I want something real, Like I don't want to and I don't want to date. I don't know you. I don't want to date someone in the industry neither. No, same, I mean you've got sorry that's an off camera.
I'm very against the industry vibe just from experience.
I don't know about you, guys, but I just feel like girls that put themselves up to be on a TV show. Yes, cute, yeah, care ely, but like men that put themselves on a TV show just why there's a double there's a double stairs, a double stairs, and I don't care about it. And the way they use it is different the way we at least their double standard isn't like, oh they get paid twice as much. There's it's just like I just.
Want to have multiple hook ups and girls just like there's definitely a different line.
But there's something about a man that goes on TV that wants to be an influencer. That's that's guy.
For the girls and.
That day and everyone an athlete or something like that work with them. Then they go back into yeah, yeah, not.
That like you can't be atlet as a woman because they're just as good and people, Yes, just as good.
God, an amazing chat. We should book out like two hours next time and just like have a have a yard.
This was like a personal conversation.
Gets the march next time.
Yes, no, well, thank you so much for having me. Then we chat all the time, so it's good to do it behind the mind.
Debris yes.
Tags. Bye,