Hello, this is a bit of a shorter episode because we had the live show this weekend. I am working through it and will hopefully be up in the next few weeks. But it'll probably take a little bit of time. This is a few random scenes that I've had just sitting on my laptop for a while. So enjoy them and I'll see you next week or something. Thank you very much. Bye. Welcome back to Dumb Bracken. Boys weekend? Yeah! Boys, boys, boys, boys. Okay, but I kind of wanted to be respectful.
I know it's really nice. We're celebrating my daughter's christening and having a boys weekend like this. She's not coming, is she? No, she's not. She'll ruin the vibe. I was going to have it in my backyard, and she likes to play out there. That's okay. Can she party? Yeah. I mean, she's several months old, so... Yeah. All right. And you let her play out in the backyard already, it seems? Yeah, she likes the feeling of grass. She'll be sleeping a lot. Babies sleep a lot,
don't they? Yeah, you know. They're fine a lot. Well, not if it's a boy's weekend you won't be sleeping. Yeah, yeah. When you told us about this, I thought it was going to be that, you know, we were going to be going somewhere, you know, exotic. You know, I didn't think it was going to be in your back garden. I thought it was going to be... Have you been to his back garden, though? It's pretty great. It's pretty great. I love that. Dude's got swings. Dude's
got slides. I actually got rid of the slide. Oh, man. What? But everything else is still there. Why'd you get rid of the slide? Just, it didn't go with the patio. You know? He's right. You know, sometimes slides just don't go with patios. Yeah. I genuinely thought we were going to hit the big city. We don't all make as much money as you. What? We don't all make as much money as you do. We can't all go to the big city every time one of our children gets Christian. You
bring this up all the time. This is unfair. Just because I haven't had kids, that was my choice, and I just didn't want to have kids, and I've got extra money because of it. You are ruining the vibe of my weekend. I know. You always say that to me again as well. I know. I'm always the one who's a bit more... Could you not just get over... get over the fact that you're barren.
Could you not just, like, you know, move on with your life and be happy for your friends who have beautiful little daughters who like to play in the grass? Speaking of, can I bring my daughter if your daughter's there? Absolutely not. Okay. They don't get on. She's a buzzkill. She cannot party. No, she can. She's a nerd. I hate it. That's her mother's influence. How could her mother influence her if she's not around? She can come, though. Is she invited? Her mother?
Yeah, I invited her. Is that okay? Has she said yes? Oh, yeah. She was first to wear SVP. Really? This is not really a boys' weekend anymore, now. I didn't realize you were sending out... She's one of the boys! I didn't realize you were sending out, like, written invitations. I didn't actually get one. Can I have her number? So, when's a good time for me to go around and clean the paintings? Like... Can I do a while there are visitors in or do I have to wait until closed? Because I'd
like to kind of get away promptish. Oh, well, if you think you can perform the task whilst people are here, yeah, you can certainly do that. That's okay. If you can be discreet enough, as long as you don't, if you take one painting down one at a time. Oh, I'm needing to remove them. Yes, yes, yes. Remove them, put on gloves. I was just going to walk along with the duster. Oh. I can disguise myself as a gallery goer myself.
I can take photos and then not take photos on the paintings that have no photography permitted symbols. But I can just have the duster and people aren't the wiser. Interesting. So you would just be a clientele of the museum dusting. You are paying me. I am on your books. Yes. Yes. No, of course. Yeah. Making sure that we're on the same page. Don't want to have another scandal about pay. No, no, no. No, we don't. So, I'll do a round on the duster, and then I'll do a
round on the disinfectant spray. I mean, I would really rather you took each painting out, used gloves, and used the very specific spray that we provide you with. It is, in fact... Still disinfecting. Yes, it is disinfected, sure. And this is a lot cheaper. It's that all. Yeah, but the one we give you, you don't have to pay for, and is a special kind which won't corrode the paintings. Well, I thought the money that you're saving on cleaning products you could put into
my ingenuity and... Give me a pay rise. If you don't destroy anything, we'll maybe talk in your first week. Okay? Could you get through? If I don't destroy anything starting from this point? Yes. Great. Clean slate. Clean slate. Don't destroy. Not a broken slate. Nope. You already destroyed broken slate. Don't destroy clean slate. Amen. Amen. Brother, Brother Robinson, what would you like to speak about this week? I believe you had a couple of discussions in the Discord. Oh,
God. The Umbrella Discord. I love that Discord. It's really good. I'm in that every day. Every single day. Amen. Can we get an amen for Discord? Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. And I'll be praying and praying for the Discord every single day. Always praying for the Discord. I get great remotes in the chat. So, Jesus, help me. I've seen some cussing going on. Jesus. Oh, my Lord. And I won't say anything more. Someone said something called getting pwned.
Have you ever heard about getting pwned? Getting pwned. Getting pwned. Getting pwned. My son has been saying I've been getting pwned every night. Yeah, and I thought being pwned was receiving the Lord. Receiving the love of Jesus. Is it receiving the love? Receiving the love of Jesus. Amen, I thank you, Lord. You were like a poem of the Lord. I want to receive the poem of the Lord every night. You want to be a poem of the Lord. Phil, calm against. I don't think we know
what poem means. Oh, Lord. Do we not? I thought it was a beautiful poem from class, like a psalm. Share, brother, what does poem mean? No, I can't even utter the words. Why don't one of you ring one of your grandchildren? I don't talk to my grandchild no more. Why? He got a piercing, he got an eyebrow. piercing. He don't talk to him no more. He's got an eyebrow piercing. He's one of the devils. He's got an eyebrow piercing. Which eyebrow? Both of them. Both of the eyebrows.
Disgusting. Disgusting. That's the straight one and the gay one. Oh, my God. Bisexuality. I'll ring my son. My son is a good Christian man. My son is a good Christian man. Will you ring your son, please? Ask him what Paul means. I'm ringing my son. Ring him. Ring, ring. What's that? Is that all we're calling? Tommy, are you on the phone? Tommy. Tommy, I'm trying to ring you. Dad, why are you calling me on Discord? Hey, put him on speaker. Put him on speaker.
I'm putting him on speaker. Your own speaker with the church, honey. Why am I on speaker with the church? Hey, Tommy. Hi, Tommy. Hi, guys. What's going on? Say hi to Brother Frederick. Hello, Brother Frederick. What's going on? Why are you calling me? We have a question to ask you because you're a young person. Tommy, it's Daytoner. Why are you answering the phone on Daytoner? Hey, I'm... It's the church calls. I got to answer. You know that. You can't answer
the phone. Tommy, who's there with you, Tommy? Who's there with you, Tommy? It's nobody. It's nobody. Oh, so nobody to you there. Honey, honey. Tommy, who is that? Tommy, who's that? This is Tommy's father. Oh, there's going to be nobody to him real soon. This is Tommy's father. Who is there? This is Jeremy. Jeremy. Tommy, are you hanging out with that no good Jeremy again? Jeremy, he's the devil. Jeremy is not the devil.
Jeremy Clarkson. Devil. I didn't think I was going to say this to you, Dad, but I'm in love with Jeremy. I'm ending this, this cold call. No, no, hang on, hang on. I'll wait. Now, Tommy and Jeremy, can I ask, Tommy, are you poning Jeremy? Are you boss poning? Dad, I didn't want you to find out like this, but I am boss poning Jeremy. We're boss poning. You told me you would never do it like a boss. I've been doing it like a boss, Dad. And can I just clarify for the church
meeting, could you just give a queef? A queef? A queef is when air comes out of the vagina. No, we know that. We know that from last week. Oh, Lord, Jesus Christ. I quit giving you this, Conan. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm going to bring this back to something biblical, like Conan. Wait, you still haven't explained it. We never got the answer. Someone
else bring their grandkids. You know Lily Lily you got girl grandkids bring one of your girl grandkids I'm gonna ring her I'm gonna I'm gonna Hey put her on speaker Sorry, it's so late. It's past my bedtime. Darling, what's your name again? What's your name again? I know you're 12. I know you have 8th grade tomorrow, but this is important. I'm at a late night mass, and we're just trying to work out something real little. What is pony? Jeremiah, I told you, do not be shouting at my
grandbaby. Oh, I'm so sorry, Mama. I'm so sorry. Say sorry to Jesus. He's the one you have to answer to. I'm sorry, Jesus, and I love you, Mama. Thank you, Jeremiah. God, you're a good boy. I love my son. God, your grandkids are so good. I know. You must have raised them right. I raised them really good and right. I raised them to the Lord and Jesus. Praise be. Praise be. They be blessed. Praise be. Yeah, you go ahead, sweetheart. Love you, Connie. I'll see
you tomorrow. Michael, I'm checking in on the cleaning routine. I haven't destroyed a painting. You sprayed disinfectant on a very still man's face. So, yeah, by our agreement, here's your money. Didn't destroy anything. No, I didn't. I didn't. Yeah. I mean, there was the incident with a man, but also I uncovered a... Because there was another painting underneath. Wait. I sprayed it and the paint... Underneath the man? Or are we onto a different thing? No, on
a canvas. Okay. I sprayed it. I wiped it. Might have been a bit too heavy -handed. Oh, no. And now the landscape has become a portrait. Oh, no. Okay, when I... As in, like, a picture of scenery has now become a picture of a person. Oh, when I bought this art gallery over, the previous owner... had said that some of these had been owned by Hitler. Oh. And had to be painted over. Shit. And I thought it was a joke because he's not a comedian, so naturally it was going
to be bad. I didn't think Hitler did portraiture. I don't know. I didn't live in history, so I can't tell you what he did or didn't do. I'm just going on the hearsay of one not funny. Yeah, and you're going on the hearsay. You haven't actually looked at the painting. Okay. We're not Nazis. Am I bringing you to see the painting now? Sure. Okay. Okay. Um, so, there it is. Oh my god. Because it does look a lot like the Mona
Lisa. That's a Hitler, alright. I would just say, it's fine if they were owned by Hitler. I feel like we're okay taking stuff from Hitler. I appreciate your input, and I'm sorry for spraying that on your face, sir. Yeah, I'm still waiting for a damn cloth. Sir, the fact that it was owned by Hitler and we bought it means we put money directly into Hitler's pockets. We paid money. Something Hitler owned. And that is a damn Hitler. Owned Mona Lisa. I just don't think we should
destroy art because Hitler liked it. It's too late. It's time. Get the incinerator. No, but hold on. No, I see what you're doing. You're trying to destroy the image so then you can say that I destroyed the painting. No, I've given you your pay for this week. You're fine. You're safe. What about for next week? Give me a guarantee. Okay, if I destroy this painting, it's not on you. I just don't want some Nazi... But am I the reason for the painting being destroyed?
Because I cleaned it too hard. No. Okay. You're the savior of this town. I don't want people to come in and say I'm a fan of Hitler. I just can't take that rap again. Sir, are you going to leak this story to the newsletter? Um... Oh, shit, you hadn't even thought of that before I said it. No, not really. Yeah, because they'll give you a lot of money if you do that, so please don't do that before we can incinerate this. I mean... Maybe if you sent me one of the paintings,
I could forget about it. What about this one? Go for a cheap one. I'll give you the Hitler -owned Mona Lisa. That sounds great. And it's gone from us. And I'm not giving you any money for it. I also think the Mona Lisa didn't drew it. She's not an artist, I believe. What? That's not a self -portrait? It's just... This art gallery has some amazing paintings, given its curator
doesn't seem to know. much about I'm not the curator I'm the owner but this dinner is it like smart casual smart fog machine what kind of setup is it sorry what was that last part smart casual I just oh smart casual that's sort of like a shirt but you know like a nice iron shirt with like smart trousers but not Not like a business outfit? That's what smart casual is. No, no, but what was after that? What came after that? You said something, it was just something about...
Smart, like you could dress for a wedding, so, you know, formal, formal might be better. No, no, but after that? A fog machine. You know, like a sort of event where a fog machine would be appropriate. Or dry ice. It doesn't have to be a fog machine. Do you wear the fog machine? Or do you just carry it around? If they can see what you're wearing, your thought machine is not good enough. I'm very confused by this as
well. Is it a thing that you have to put it into your clothes, or is it an item of clothing itself,
or is it that you just bring it with you? Okay, guys, I feel like you guys were very... farm or barn or something like that it's just an adventure I grew up on a houseboat that's not a thing a fog machine event you know I grew up on a bog do you want me to explain what a fog machine is or not what I'm interested in is like you mentioned certain events are like events that would be appropriate for a fog machine what sort of events this is a dinner in a house not in
da club where there might be a required fog machine or a dry ice machine. That's why I'm asking. You guys are biting my head off. Should I bring my fog machine or not? It's a yes or no. Are you imagining that you bring a fog machine, something like stars in their eyes, introducing and they walk through the fog machine? Is that how you use it? It's just sometimes the fog machine you have at home isn't sufficient, so people need to bring their own fog machines to help produce
enough fog. No, I understand the idea of bringing a fog machine to make a fog, but I've never seen it in the preference of a... going to a house party. I mean, it makes sense in da club. Yeah. How old are you that you're saying da club? He said da club. That's the name of the club. Is it really? How could her mother influence her? Yeah, I know. So hang on. So hang on. Do we have to set it up before we get in and then we announce our arrival, we ring the doorbell, set off the
fog machine, and then... Jonathan, why are you asking me? I'm asking if we should do this. Do you want to make a big entrance? Is this it? Is this what this is about? Yeah. I want to come dressed appropriately, so I need to know whether it's smart, casual, formal, or... fog machine attire. If you bring a fog machine, what are you going to be wearing? I have this jacket. So, Brother Frederick, Brother Frederick, what was all this pwning about? Well, you know what?
I see the light of Jesus. I see pwning in a whole different light. I see pwning in that Discord chat. I say, hey, pwning away. May I move a motion? Can I move a motion? May we open a poem emote in the chat? Absolutely. I love to emote to Jesus. I say that on the grand chessboard of life, aren't we all God's poems? Amen. That is so true. Only one of us can be a bishop, but all the rest of us are just little poems. One step at a time. The bishop may move diagonally, he sees beyond
us. We can only move one step. He sees through us. He sees beyond. We're diagonal. He sees above us. But I will not believe in no king nor queen. No, but when we get to the end, we become a queen. We become a queen. Or a bishop. I wasn't aware of that rule of chess. And Jesus is the same level as the president of the United States. That's true. He is. Why is Jesus on the chessboard? Because he would destroy the game. He'd be too good. Amen. And I don't like how many Russians
are playing chess. I don't like it. Damn, damn Soviets. Communists. You know what the Soviets love? They love chess, Scrabble, and stealing my wages. I think they've been stealing Teresa's wages for way too long. They've been stealing my wages for way too long. They're stealing their wages. I hate it. I would like to make a confession towards God. I have been the person stealing your wages. The bishop. I've been feeding them back into the church. I'm so sorry. What the
hell? I can feed my kids. But I must say, I did do it. Your kids are doing great. I did do it for the Russians. Jeremiah just ate apples. That's why he's so bland. That's a feminine nominon. I think I'm using that right. That sounds like a word. Doing the worst unto God. Bishop, bishop, why did you choose me? Why did you steal my wages? I did do it for the Russians. And they do not like you. Oh, no. Call me. He said call me. Call me. He said call me. You know what? We can baptize
that out of you. We can baptize that out of you. You go down to the river. Please, please, please, Jesus, let the bishop become a capitalist. I can't be dealing with the communists. As I place my hand on the bishop's chest, Lord, please bring all that communism out of him. Protect and save him. Amen. Because the devil's ready. Suck it right out of him. Suck it hard. Suck that man. Suck all that communism out. What do you feel? I did not want to partake in any of that right
now. That was very unfair. How do you feel about the surf? If anything, I feel more on towards the Russians than before. Oh, come on. God bless us.