Cabin in the Woods | Bonus Scene - podcast episode cover

Cabin in the Woods | Bonus Scene

Apr 16, 202411 min
--:--
--:--
Download Metacast podcast app
Listen to this episode in Metacast mobile app
Don't just listen to podcasts. Learn from them with transcripts, summaries, and chapters for every episode. Skim, search, and bookmark insights. Learn more

Episode description

A group of friends head out to the woods to celebrate an engagement.

Produced & edited by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conleth McVeigh⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Featuring Kieran Sands⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Eoghan Fox⁠⁠ & ⁠⁠Eddie Goodwin⁠⁠.

Opening and end credits by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Conor Mallon⁠⁠⁠⁠, check out his full album, ⁠⁠⁠⁠Unearthed⁠⁠⁠⁠, on Spotify now.

For more information on the podcast, including the weekly Dunbracken Newsletter, follow ⁠⁠⁠⁠@dunbrackenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠ on instagram & TikTok.

Transcript

🎵 Oh, it's freezing here! I offered to go for chopped firewood, but everyone said put down the axe. Oh, hey, you're just a bit dangerous with it, but still, somebody needs to go out for firewood. Freezing! Go out there. I'll do it. I'm not going. Just give me my axe back. Really want to give him the axe. Why don't you want to give him the axe? Why did you take it off? It was one time. You've lost your axe privileges.

They were my fingers. I think I'm the one who's allowed to decide whether or not I continue to use the axe. Well, we don't want you to lose any more. If Gareth gets his axe back, then I want my shotgun back. That's what I'm saying. We should be allowed our things. Yeah. How can we be protected if Darren doesn't get his shotgun back? Exactly. Because he shot my dog. Your dog looked like it had rabies. He was just really awful and sick. He was just a bit crusty on it, but he's fine.

A bit crusty. He was antsy, like. Yeah. Wait, we never got it neutered and he was still pepped up, you know? Pepped up on rabies? He had a lump in his eyes. He just had, he was just a crusty white dog. So I should get my shotgun back. Gareth should get his axe back. And Tony. And can I get my brass knuckles back? Yeah. Give him his brass knuckles back. We'll give you your keys back. That was one time. I didn't know that there would be that many trees in the forest. I have no idea.

To be fair, actually, that's a, I think that's reasonable. I thought there would be at least a path through, like. Yeah. And you got to assume, okay, there's going to be more than 10, but this is honestly quite frankly absurd. This is too many trees. It felt like the trees were just growing in front of the car as the car was driving past. And if you give me the axe, it's less likely that you'll get, you'll hit your car again. I can shoot the trees down. I promise that whenever you go to hit

something, you don't continue to hold it. Like when you put the stick on top, you don't hold the top of the stick and then swing the axe. Well, I can't do that anymore. I don't have the hand, well the fingers. Now you've only got like the thumb and finger. Yeah, the thumb and finger. So if one of you's hold them, then you'll remember to take them off. I'm not holding. We don't hold it at the same time. You just set it down and then swing it.

That's not how I do it. The only things I want to see swinging are the brass knuckles back on Tony's hands. Yeah. I got to practice the fights next week. Yeah, next week we came here to let him clear his head. Not allowed to bring brass knuckles into the boxing ring. It's under the gloves. Yeah, they're not going to see. They're not going to know. Perfect. Barry. It's a fix. They check the gloves. That's why you got caught. That's why they're off you in the first place.

Yeah, well you're the one person that can choose to give them back to me. But he got caught. You got caught before. I knew you put them on. So of course I caught you. If you, when he's got his back turned, you put them on them. I'm like come on. You may be my mate, but I'm a professional as well. I have like, I have a standard to uphold. No, you didn't have that standard for those trees and your bonnet. That's true. That's a low blow. What about like copper knuckles or gold knuckles?

I'd give anything to have any sort of knuckles. Yeah, I just need something to give me the edge. Yeah. Well, so what better? Look, what if you cut down a tree and made some wooden knuckles. I'm in. This is good. Wooden knuckles for Tony for the fight. I mean like I'd be up for giving you back the axe. I'll vote for that if I'm getting some sick. Okay. Okay. Okay, good. And maybe. Oh, oh, and if you're. No, I don't know. This is not fair because the car is totaled, so I'm not getting it back.

Like it's still running. But as I'm like until you put that beer down and wait like 12 hours. And I was thinking if the fight was going badly, then if you have your shotgun, you can just shoot the other guy. Yeah, perfect. Or threaten the ref if he's making a bad decision. That's good. No offense. It's all business. It's all business. It's all kicked out. It's all business. And you're not going to get us kicked out when we've got all this evidence on you drink driving.

You're just lucky that I'm not in the ring where all my authority is. That's true. You have. Because I feel like. I have a presence in that rain. Well, what did you pack in the boot? A shotgun, an axe and brass knuckles. Yes. Oh, they're in the boot. Yeah. They're just in the boot. Yeah, but we walked like the other three mile to get here. And he get frustrated and threw the keys away. Remember? Oh, so we have to walk three miles and find keys. Oh, I already I found the keys. Oh, OK.

So we don't have to walk three miles. But I'm not giving them them back. That's fair. But now I know that the stuff's in the boot. We can walk three miles. You can just leave this guy here. That's really cool. You can come with us if you want. This is the worst stag do ever. Rude. I mean, we went to a lot of effort to get. This is for you. This is secluded. Yeah. And I'm the only one that's not allowed to get my keys back. Well, no, if we get all our stuff, I think then you can give your key.

I think. Oh, right. If the car can take the path through the forest. Mm hmm. Yeah. We can ask that creepy guy who was just wandering about with that big. The guy with the scarred face. Yeah. Look for a hunt. Yeah, we can ask him. He seemed really well. He was very busy looking at that lovers location thing. Yeah. I mean, he walked like through the forest very fast. So you must know it pretty well. He was putting those like etchings into the trees. There are the trail markers, I'm sure.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's smarter than us. We just walk. We should have done. We should have done that. That's what we should have done. Oh, we're not going to be able to find our way back, actually. Yeah, I'm no good with a sense of direction. Oh. Oh. Are we expecting visitors? Did you get something for me? We might have. Maybe we did. No. Whoa. Hello. Did somebody order a stripper? Yes, we did. Oh, wow. Who's the special boy? This is him. This is him. Him and me. Oh, very good. Very nice.

You're very like long teeth. Yeah. It's rude. No, it's OK. I know I've got very long teeth. Sit down in the chair in the middle. OK. I'll just get up with him. He's really kind of you. Uh, yes. Very good. I don't have any. I did. Do you want me to play off my Spotify? I'd love that, actually. I'm glad you knew what I wanted to do. Yeah, I'll play off my little. Do you want something jazzy, a bit more upbeat? Something jazzy, something real sexy and special for the bachelor to not be.

Her toenails have cut through the shoes. Yes. You don't need to talk about her. She's right there. Where did she get her from? I'll play the music now. Oh, do you like this? Oh, God. Let me take off one of my layers. Oh, is that real fur? Oh, you know it. Can I put this on when you're not using it? Of course. You boys have all the fun you want. Let me take off another layer. Oh, brass knuckles. Oh, do you want these? I've got them spare. Yeah. They're always on my outfit.

Oh, that'd be really handy. You go. I'm going to take off another layer. Oh, shotgun. Hey. A shotgun fell out of my coat. What is going on? Oh, my goodness. Oh, hey, my axe. This isn't sexy at all. Here it is in the other layer of my. Oh, did you find a car somewhere? You'll never guess what's in my other layer. No, it's not a full car. I'm not that crazy. But I'm just going to keep taking off layers. How many layers you got on? I'm just going to keep taking off layers.

Just fall and flop to the floor. More and more layers. How did he fit in there? Layers are coming. I don't see his load. They're two lovers. I'm running out of clothes. How do you have that many layers on? Now the clothes are almost out. What happens when they're out? You'll get a big married man surprise. I'm not married yet. Oh, I know. I wish I could pick up my hands. The last layer. It's a full boxing ring. And the match is actually tonight. The boxing match.

Everybody push down these fake walls that are a carbon in the woods. And tonight we are here to see the two champions fight up against each other. Let's go. In the left corner we've got. It's me. I'm in the left corner. And in the right corner we have. It's me in the right corner. It's him in the right corner. My nemesis. If you pull off your clothes, you've got your referee outfit underneath. Wow, we tricked you. We dressed you up when you were deist and confused after the crash.

Everybody stop it. I am in charge here. Let me inspect the gloves. Okay, you sir. Nothing here. They all check out. This is just my engagement ring. That's I mean, that's fine. Hey, look over here at what I'm doing and don't look at the other guys clubs. I'm a professional. I am a professional. I got let me inspect your gloves. Hey, what's that? There's brass knuckles on the gloves. Get him out of here. This is just qualification straight up. I guess you have to get in the ring instead.

It's me in the northeast corner. Put it down. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not a wrestler. Everyone get out of my ring right now. This is a force. I haven't rang the bell and I won't shoot the guy. Shoot the guy. Shoot. Don't do it. Don't do it. Shoot the referee. No, shoot the referee. Shoot the wrestler. Don't do it. I'm going to shoot the brass knuckles guy. Hey, no. This is the worst act ever.

Transcript source: Provided by creator in RSS feed: download file
For the best experience, listen in Metacast app for iOS or Android