Vows and Voyages | Golden Hour

Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks so much for joining us. We are so excited to be back. How are you doing Today's is this?

I'm doing fabulous at a house ful yesterday.

I'm telling you, you know you entertained more than anyone I know. Well I'm home, Yeah, well this is true. And when I'm home I just want to sit in front of the TV and watch Netflix a needle point. I don't know, I don't know. I want to. I'm getting ready to travel again. Do you want to travel some more?

I think I am. Actually yes, I'm going to be traveling through September. It's been a great summer. Although I hardly got to use the pool. I clean it. I actually got in it this weekend with my granddaughter. But today, of course, we're going to be answering more of our fan questions and make sure you keep them coming because we love this. You know what to do. Just go to Bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away because that's what we're here for.

I mean, you gotta have questions. Susan and I have been traveling. We took cruises, Susan's had her mister wonderful visiting her. You know, I'm off to Canada.

I mean time Kathy in the United States.

You know, come on, people, you must have questions or comments about this, and since you do, we want you to send them all to us. It's very easy. You can either dm us on Instagram a Bachelor Happy Hour, or you can go to Bachelor nation dot com. Let's go. You can do it.

Good. Yes, we look forward to it. Okay, time to get into the episode, and we're going to start with the question of the day. What advice do you have two people that have been in a long term relationship since they were very young and are starting to wonder if they need to explore.

Can I tell you what the operative word in that question is relationship? Because you know, I was married out of the cradle. You're a person, get the right person. I was married. My birthday is May ninth, and I was married May nineteenth, and I had my twentieth birthday, so ten days after I turned twenty, I got married. And I was married for almost forty six years. So were there times in my life that I thought, oh

Were very very fortunate. I was. Relationships that start out and they think they're getting married after college. They made it through college, and a lot of times they don't. As they mature, they find their separate ways. Unfortunately, you are very very lucky today's world. I don't think as many that started very young making.

Yeah, I mean, I guess I agree with that. I sometimes it can be aged, sometimes it can be other circumstances.

But I do think with your advice to somebody young, you know.

You're asked you and I've actually talked about. Isn't it funny that you and I that's how well we know each other. We've talked about some of these things. When young people tell me that they're moving in together to me, and I know I'm going to sound old. When they move in together, theoretically they're sharing the bills, they're sharing experiences, they're not dating other people. They're monogamous, or they've agreed

Oh, it is.

It is right.

Some people like to try before they take.

Don't you think it's just as hard to get out of that relationship as it is to get out of a marriage.

I mean, probably yes, But a lot of people don't agree with people living together before they get married. And that's going back in time too. But I think it's important that you see how they live while living together. Some things might be deal breakers anybody.

I think it's I agree, Susan. But I guess what I'm asking you is I was married, So I can't answer this question. I don't think and you were married. I don't think you lived with anyone. But if you're living with someone and let's just say you've lived them for a year and a half, I think it would be almost as difficult to get your friends together and say, hey, guess what, Johnny and I are splitting up. It's like a breakup of a marriage. It's shooting a house. Who gets the dog?

Yeah, that's a big one too. But what there is do they need to explore? Are we going to advise people that have only been with one person to explore before committing Yeah? I am, and you didn't.

I didn't.

Why do you feel that way?

Because I think you know hindsight's twenty twenty. I was very lucky with Darryl. He was kind, he was a smarty given.

But you're advising.

Because I just said because I was very lucky. I think people mature and change so much in their twenties. You know, I used to be I used to work in the middle school, and I used to say, of the fifth gradeers that were trying to figure out a high school for their kids, I said, listen, the kids you have in fifth grade, you're not even going to recognize that kid in eighth grade, because that's how much

Men mature later than women.

I think women change a lot too. They people, They their career goals, their aspirations, their interests, their desire to travel, the their desire to try on new personalities and new ways of living. So much changes in the twenties. I don't think people know who they are really until they're close to thirty.

But if they've already in a long term relationship since they've been younger and starting to wonder if they need their starting to wonder if somebody's starting to wonder if she should explore more things prior to before this big day comes that you say I do. Then if they're already thinking that, I would think, yes. Oh, you know how some people go to college, Kathy, and they were together all through high school and they separate through college.

Yeah? I think you have to kiss a lot of frogs, try it a lot outfits, you know, use any the expression you want. I think it's very rare that someone gets it right when they're twenty two years of age. I think, you know, late twenties, twenty six, twenty seven, twenty eight, you start to know who you are, but not when you're twenty twenty one, twenty two.

And don't you agree, nowadays it is much later than it was when we were young.

You know. And why do you think that is?

They're smarter?

Not?

Probably because they're education so expensive you can't afford you got to pay. You're still at your mother's at thirty like that.

I think that's partly it. I also think that people have the resources to travel more, change jobs more. We're just a much more mobile, more mobile society. You know, you don't marry the guy from your hometown too much anymore because you're out seeing the world. I think that all of those things contribute to making a person not necessarily ready.

My advice, I wouldn't want you to cheat on your man, but you should have had other relationships and you compare how they make you feel, how happy you are with this one or this one. Just like our show when we did The Bachelor, how does that person feel when they're with this one or they're with this one and coming down to that big decision might be the hardest thing they've ever had to do.

You know, it's funny you said that. You're absolutely right. It's funny you just said that, Susan, because there's actually it's sort of like an equal equation people in their early years, you know, let's call it twenty to thirty. I think should try on a lot of different relationships and a lot of different experiences. And you know what I think, when you're dating, let's call it fifty five sixty and over the same thing. Don't jump into the

Of things that were so important to you might have changed for sure. That's right, you know, that's right.

All right? Are you ready to get in some fan questions? Here? Let's do it? All right, here we go. Here's the first one. It's from anonymous ladies. I am so angry right now. I don't know what to do. This past weekend was my best friend's wedding, let's call her Amy. As we were all standing there listening to Amy's vows, there was not a dry eye in the place. It

Well, first of all, I think she knew who she was marrying. I mean, that wasn't the first time he was sarcastic or crude or rude. And maybe she took it funny. You know, he did say even when she goes downhill that he'd still love her like that was just his humor. I get it that the audience was not in favor of this, except for his father, who shares the same humor.

I guess, you know.

As far as bringing it up, I don't know. I don't know. If she wants to talk about it, then fine, you can let her know.

But Susan, wait, did you just hear that? What the world just cracked? Why? Because we agreed? Oh? I absolutely? I couldn't agree with you more. Seriously, I'm so angry for her, sweetheart, Anonymous, you don't get to be angry for her for her hermit, it's not her, it's her If she's not angry mazel toks. Let her live her life, you live yours. Don't worry about it. You know, if Susan's exactly right, if she brings it up and says, what the hell was wrong with that guy? You could say,

I mean, obviously, if it were my friends, yeah, let's say, were you okay with that? Like? I thought it was funny because we know and love him, but.

Okay, if the world just got to say together, if you had to say something and it's your best friend, no, that was pretty funny, make light of it.

I would say, Susan, if you got married and your now husband made a really crass thing, you know what, I'd be sitting This is the thing people think.

You know me, He wouldn't not because I would have called him.

On it right then and there. You're right, But but just just in you know, generically a friend, let's say I would I probably would feel very sorry for my friend for the embarrassment that I would feel. But you know what that would be the embarrassment I'm feeling, not necessarily the embarrassment she's feeling. And if everyone in the room was embarrassed, so be it. The point is she's

Was asking us, do I bring it up?

No? You do not. Let's say it together, Susan.

No, No, stay in your own lane, in your own girl. I love it how you do say something, or or if your best friend says something really curious to see. And even the bride's mother, like I would love to know her thoughts.

Do you know what I mean?

Because she used to the guy too.

But when she comes back from her honeymoon, you know, don't ask her about the sex and how many times a day they had it. Wait for her to tell you about the wedding, because if she was upset, she's going to get down to it.

Definitely, definitely send us to d M. Please, I mean, even we want, don't do it on air. We're just curious.

Yeah we will. If you don't want us to report back, we won't, but just we want to know for our inquiring minds want to know. We do.

And thanks for writing into us. That was really a good one. All right, we have one more, Kathy Anonymous rights ladies. I need your help. My boyfriend cannot get a good picture of me to save his life. What do I do? I really don't want to sound like a diva when I talk to him, but.

The picks he gets are policle. We have so many trips lined up for the rest of the year and I want those few picks.

How can I get him to do this for me without sounding annoying? He has little to no social media presence, so he doesn't really get it. I'm not worried about him judging me. I just feel a little weird bringing this up. Lol. Thanks ladies, Well why do you feel weird if he can't? What is he doing wrong with the pictures? Like teach him, educate the man, or go buy a selfie stick.

Okay, so you know what my answer to this is. I knew that's where you're going to go. Because all for those of you when Susan and I recently were on a cruise. You know, we're sitting there, I'm studying the acropolist. Susan's turning her head the perfect way to get the perfect picture, and you know, angling her body. Whatever. Here's my answer, I think you are making a huge mistake. Girlfriend. Enjoy the time, live in the moment with your boyfriend.

I do, I do? But if she has a job or something in her career that she needs these picks.

Befo, she don't say that. I think she's a social media like so many people today who live their lives are what they depict of themselves on social.

Seeing my social media pages, a lot of ugly picks out there.

I know. But you on our recent trips and you took a c upload of pictures. People would Susan will say, take another one, take another one. I'd say take one and I'm done, Like I just want to right, You're like, how do I stand? But for one picture. I don't need a hundred pictures. But I think it's everyone to themselves, each to them change to their.

Own I not having the pictures. I hear what she's saying.

I do too, But I would encourage her to think about enjoying the time with your boyfriend, making the memories in person and lodging those in your brain. And I know it's a thing now, everyone wants the perfect social media pages and all that.

I just what she's saying. Okay, she feels a little weird about bringing it up. Obviously it is something to her. So what she needs from us.

She needs to teach them. You're right, Yes, you sit there like like Susan will say to me, don't.

Stand yourself in the square. You get the feet and the head and center.

And then tilt the camera. This one, you tilt the You know what. He here's one for you. If he has an iPhone, he can take a class at the local Apple store in using his iPhone there. And I want a new Apple phone for this advertisement. But seriously, you can take free classes at your at an Apple store and they'll tell you how to make the most of your iPhone and how to take the best pictures.

As you know, we had to film certain things. When we do things and you get the new self it's not just a selfie stick like back in the day. There's so much out there. You set it up, you get your pictures done, and then stop, get it over with and then go enjoy your time with him.

Yeah, but I think I'm just making the point. Some people prefer to have the perfect pictures, and I'd prefer to have the perfect experience. That's all. And so, but I hear you, Anonymous, and I think you need to teach him. He can research it online, he can google it, he can there's all kinds of ways to learn to be a better picture taker. But if he's like me, you know what he's going to say, Yeah, it's good enough. And you know what, is it a deal breaker for you? Maybe?

And Kathy, you know what, I you delete that one. You're not going to put a bad one. You get it. I mean, think about those things. She's wants a good picture.

I get it. I get it. But I'm just trying to get her to enjoy the trips.

And I know, I know, but definitely to teach him what he's doing wrong.

Yeah that's all. Yeah, let us know, have fun on those trips. Send us photographs, send us you know, we want to hear all about those trips. Okay, we're going to move into our Golden spotlight, where we just discuss something that is affecting the Golden community. Today's Golden spotlight is all about agism, something I know a lot about. There are so many stereotypes and judgments that young people knowingly and unknowingly throw at golden's. What are some of

Because I think that's a nice thing, though, because.

Why are they looking out, Susan.

Why because we're older.

That's agism. You look out for everyone's safe.

So you would prefer people not to the door for you.

No, that's different. That's no. One is chivalry when you if it. If the deck is slippery, and and you've got young ones and old ones getting on a boat okay, or walking through the bar, and it's been raining, so the deck around the pool is slippery, it's wet. If you have people holding your arm, be careful, Susan, it's slippery. Oh thanks, And the twenty four year old is right behind you walking, No one's offering her hand.

That is age to appreciate it.

It's not a matter whether you appreciate it. It's agism. It's treating you differently because of your age, but in.

A good way.

Not to me.

Well, not everybody's as strong and as healthy as you are, so you keep an open mind with most people. I don't feel like i'm that that old yet, but I know from my grandmother and her people, Yes I went out of my way to make sure they didn't trip or fall or be.

Okay, So give me some other stereotypes. What are some other stereotypes that you think of for older people?

They don't know what's going on today because of social media and AI and so on something.

In other words, you're saying young people or people think that older people don't know how to use social media because they're old.

And a lot of times we don't a lot of people don't.

But it's ever okay. But the agism, let me just be clear. Agism is when you make an assumption based on someone's age. Age, So you make an assumption that they can't walk on a slippery deck because they're older. You make an assumption that they don't understand modern technology because they're older, they didn't grow up with it. That's agism, and I hate it.

You do, I see. I don't take it as an offensive thing for some reason. I just don't. I think it's nice that you were brought up well enough to know that if I'm your elder, you're going to pause and let me go first, or you're going to say be careful, it's wet, or you're going to say, can I hold the door for you to me? I'm not walking out, you know what.

I want everyone to be safe, hold the door for everyone. Tell everyone the deck is slippery. You're only doing it for older people. That's agism.

How does it make you feel?

I don't like agism at all. I think you know what other examples? How about not hiring you for a job. Oh, you're sixty years old. You can't possibly Let me just tell you again. On Bachelor in Paradise, I was out there working out with Leslie. Leslie's a few years younger than I am. We were on the beach doing pushups. Do you know how many young girls I saw out? They're working out, and you know what the guys said. Can I just talk about the bods on those guys,

That's ages age because they said that, because it's you're older, they don't expect you to do what you used to be able to do.

And I know I can't, but it's it's having expectations based on your age. You can't do a job.

Susan, Yes, that part, I get that part hit tone because some people are still like yourself, got that you're better shape than some thirty year olds. I know, how dare you assume that she won't be able to do it because of the number that she.

Is exactly one of the things we were doing, I'm about There were lots of things we were doing, and it was they were giving me a head start because they thought I was stupid, because I thought I was older. I left them in the dirt.

I know this.

I left them in there and they're like you to get.

Them ahead start and still one.

They were like, wow, you're a fast run uh huh, yes, I am. Wow, you can swim, Yes, I can. Like that to me is ages and people. That's why again you see you get me this. This is hot literally a hot topic for me. Men saying that they want to date women who are, you know, between sixty and sixty three because of a number, Because of the number, try me, you are judge me based on my calendar date. I will outrun you, out swim you out anything you Uh, I'll be You know, you might be ten years younger

Again, I also had three suitcases.

Exactly. But I'm just saying people offered to help you because of your.

Age, and I'm so grateful. I was so grateful.

And I'm going to take heat for this. Do you remember what I said? What when I was when I was getting crazy because I wanted to make sure we're getting to the airport on time.

Kathy, Wait, you gotta know, okay, no matter airport in my mosque, she's forty feet ahead of me. She just leaves you in the dust. She's on her way, like, wait a minute, role now in the mosque.

I took my time. You and I just got lost together. But let me just say it is it is? Uh, I said to Susan, because I got frustrated because she could she couldn't keep up because she was.

Mind you, how busy the Athens airport it is, but so unorganized.

We can't even go there. That's a whole other podcast. But I said to Susan turned around and looked at and I said, you know what, Susan, because Suan, let me just say, Susan packs for you know, I might wear this shoes or might wear those shoes. She has events, she has options out out the ying, yank everything. What did I tell you? I said, do not pack more than you can carry the next time, because I'm not helping you. Next time, bring what you can carry. And

I don't know, you know, I took it like, not as in the negative sense. But when you talk about a job or they're judging because of your age, where you won't get a job because of your age, then yes, I feel or.

Men won't date you because of your age. All those ageism is.

Never what causes people to lie about their age.

That's right, Susan. Just in my opinion. I mean, we can you know, please let us know if I'm wrong. Agism isn't it never a good thing? Agism always has a pejorative meaning. It's never a good thing. If you if you bring up the word agism, it's not good.

Right, did you ever feel on the ship that we were on. What would your answer be when they say, well, how old were they? I would say from thirties. There was a few younger, but most of the people were mid thirties, forties our age and up.

Oh yeah, I don't think. I don't think. I don't think. I think we met one guy that was twenty nine. Most people in their thirties. And do you remember what they all speaking of agism? Do you remember they said, Wow, you guys can really party, you can really hang Wait woulch Did you ever hear them say that to another thirty year old?

No, I said, did they? Because they're young.

That's called agism.

They said it to us customer as a bad thing, that we're surprised that we do as good as we do.

That's right. I'm right, that's right, and I take it upon myself daily to prove people wrong. And so do you, Susan. You look and act younger than your age, and so do I. And I'm proud of number.

Do we not agree on that? It's just a number. Not everybody ages the same. I know I can't do what I used to do. And a lot of things, you mean, like.

Carry three pieces of luggage through the airport. I mean like that.

I probably never could do that, Bute. No, I'm smart. I get my charge card out and I get the wheels, you know, the big push card.

Oh that's the other funny thing.

Wait, have it When I had to go to the bathroom and I was waiting on you, I had to wait three and a half hours for her to land after flying coach, mind you for nine and a half hours. Then I have to wait in an airport for three and a half hours and I had to go potty. Here I am with this cart with my luggage. At that point it was only two pieces and it wouldn't fit into the bathroom. And I was like, oh my god, what am I going to do? I have to pee this kind woman, I'm trying to get it in. I

So much wait, wait, we have we're running out of time here, but we have so many bad We were in the park in Istanbul, Do you remember that? And Susan had the bathroom. That's what I'm talking about. Susan had to go to the bathroom so badly. You have to pay. It's just a small, you know, small coin. It comes up to like five cents. Go to a dodge.

They wouldn't accept it.

So this guy comes up. Long story short, this guy comes up, puts his card and you can use these credit cards to go to the bathroom. And Susan goes in. And there's two bathrooms and one if you fall us on Instagram. By the way, it's on Instagram. I'm going to repost it, Susan. It's so damn funny. I think I'm gonna repost it today. There are two doors. One has a picture of a toilet on it that's very clear. The other picture has it looks like an oval with a hole in the middle.

When you open the door, you're running in here. Now keep in mind you think I'm looking at pictures on the door. It was about to come down my legs. People. I did not care. I would have went in public. It's literally in the first door.

Which is the hole in the ground. And she and I go in the and I come out and I said to and goes oh, my god, that was the worst experience of what are you talking about? She goes, I had to crouch down and pie in a hole. I said, what are you taing? So, of course Kathy astoct I looked at her like, didn't you us? So I go back in and investigate, and I took a video of it, and it's I'm putting it back up Today's Susan on my Do you know what?

I assumed you had the same because when I was in Paris and Secular cur I'll never forget paying my two coins to go to the bathroom and this was a dirt hole. This one we went in a tile. It was very.

Clean, it was a whole people, It was hard, it was.

Still a hole in the ground was beautiful on top. The one in Paris not so much. It was dirt. And I looked at my husband at the time, I said, Dicky, do you know I just paid to pee on the ground.

If you could have seen her face, We're gonna end it with this one. If you could have seen Susan's face when we came out of that bathroom, she goes, I can't believe it was just like France had to pee in a hole I said. I looked at I said, what are you talking about? It was all said, I said, I peed in a toy. She goes, no, you didn't. This is the stuff that we get into when we're traveling as people as people, uh not up. Yeah, we really had a plast all.

Right, Okay, well that does it. And that was a lot of fun. Yat just reminiscent. I'm still living. But we thank all of our listeners for joining with us today. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed sharing.

Oh and again, you haven't heard the last of our of our tales on our vacation. But in the meantime, be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour. We have new episodes coming out every week and you don't want to miss even one.

Definitely, so make sure to submit your questions and your comments. You know what to do. Go to bachelornation dot com, slash Goldenour, or you can dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time, have a great week.