Hey, everyone, Welcome back to bed your Happy Hour. I'm Joe and I'm Serena and we are here today with Bailey. Bailey Welcome. We're so excited to have you. Our listeners really want to hear from you.
How you doing, Hi, guys, I'm so excited to be here. I mean, I'm good.
I just got back from Europe and I'm honestly just like getting back into the swing of things.
So no complaints over here.
Nice. Nice, Okay, So you were on Grant season pretty quickly, but you stood out to us because we talked about you a lot, and I remember thinking like, I don't know if you're going to end up with Grant. I couldn't really get a feel for whoever was going to end up with Grant, but I was like, you are you are definitely someone that I think will be in Paradise.
And were you surprised when they asked you?
Honestly, I feel like after coming off of Paradise, it makes sense, like I kind of feel like, you know, it was all meant to happen for a reason. I think everyone was like a little up in the air about, you know, if they were going on Paradise. What was happening. I think we all kind of found out pretty late, but I was really happy. Honestly, when they asked me, I feel like it would have definitely like it was more my speed.
I definitely feel like I got more time.
To just like be myself and it was still stressful, but I still like.
Really enjoyed my experience.
So yeah, I feel like, you know, everything happens for a reason, and my time on Grant season was short. I literally got sent home on like week three, but you know, it all was a part of a bigger plan for me to go to Paradise, So I think that's really awesome.
Did you watch the show before going on Grant season?
Honestly, like not really.
I think the last time I watched was Hannah season because we are friends and so that's really the last time I watched.
Like a full season like till the end.
Gana g.
Yeah, that's the last time I've like really watched a season, And even going into it, I didn't even watch, Like I think I watched the finale of Joey's season and I watched when Grant got sent home, and that was kind of.
Just like I was like, I think I've got like a good fix.
Like when I was in a sorority, we used to like do Bachelor Mondays and watch them all together. But that was like when Hannah was on. So that's really the last season that I watched.
Had you seen Paradise before?
No, I actually had not seen Paradise, So when she was on Paradise, I like only very briefly watched years ago, and then before I think I watched some. I watched the first three episodes of season eight, and then I realized that, like whatever I was thinking of outfits is going to be totally different. So I was just like, I really watched it so I could plan my outfits, and I was like, it's going to be a totally different season. So whatever really like happens on this Paradise
isn't really gonna like help me. So I was like, I kind of just need to like shut it off. It's also the last of episodes, honestly.
Yeah, going into going into Paradise, who are your friends from Grant season and what guys are you interested in meeting if any?
So going into Paradise, Zoe and I were really good friends from Grant season, and Alicia and I were good friends from Grant season, Prisa and I share a best friend, so I kind of knew all the girls from my season that were going. I'm friends with Ali Joe, I was friends with Alex. Like Alex and I weren't as close on Grant Season, but we definitely like built our friendship on Paradise, which was really nice because we were roommates. So I was really happy to like have Zoe there
with me, especially week one. Lexi and I have like followed each other, and I just like knew I was gonna love her. I feel like I had a good idea of who was going on Paradise. I don't think people knew that I was going on Paradise, which is also like kind of nice because I feel like people didn't really have time to like do research on me. Maybe they would have not liked but they saw on Grant Season. I don't know, they could be anti selfie takers.
I feel like you just never really know these days. But yeah, I think I kind of knew the guys, but really, I haven't had enough time in like Bachelor Nation world to get to like know everyone.
I like.
Very briefly met a few of the guys from Gen season for maybe thirty seconds at the time. Tell all, So I really went into it like having no preconceived notions about anybody, and really I didn't have anyone.
I was like excited to meet, per se.
I had like a list of people that I just you know, glanced at their pages and I was like, yeah, like I think we might vibe.
I feel like they seem cool.
But I really didn't know anyone, which I feel like is good because I'm a really big personality person. So I think it just allowed me to like feel really natural in the moment and not be like I hate this person, you know.
I was just kind of like being honestly.
We see you get down there and you kind of immediately enter this soft love triangle with Jeremy and Kyle. Tell us about those two connections and your first impressions of these guys.
Yeah, I feel like I went on the beach and I was just honestly like, oh, I hope someone's like kind of interested in me. I was just like, oh, I hope somebody's like feeling me, vibing with me, And I feel like it was a really good group of guys on day one. Two had like no idea Kyle was going to be there, so he was a surprised.
I knew that Jeremy was going to be there, but we like had only briefly met, like for five seconds one time, and I don't even really remember us meeting each other, honestly, I just know we were in the same place.
So I feel like, you know, I think they both.
Surprised me because I wasn't expecting to like talk to either of them or have conversations with either of them. And I feel like when I was having conversations with every single person that day, I was solely going off of like personality, and I think both their personalities in different ways like stood out to me. And yeah, I've never been in a soft love triangle, so that was definitely very nerve wracking, and you know, I was feeling
really nervous with my feelings. Like week one, I was just like so overwhelmed because you, I mean, you guys know like you have to make such tough decisions in Paradise, and it's like because you focused on certain people, if you know you don't choose them, their journey is like
cut short. And so many people went home week one, so it was like really nerve wracking, and you don't want to make like the wrong decision with anything, and so yeah, it was definitely a weird feeling for me because I'm very much just like with you know, I'm like used to just like being locked in on one person. So but I also wanted to come into Paradise just really you know, making the most of this experience, taking time to really get to know everyone. I didn't want
to leave with like any regrets. So yeah, there was a lot going on.
Okay, so you you end up choosing Jeremy, which seems like it's the correct decision for you and for him. What is your relationship like after you pick him? Prior to Susie coming onto the show? Where do you guys, Like, what would you consider your relationship status at that point?
Yeah, I mean I feel like we were pretty like in a really good place.
Like I feel like I felt in a really good place with us.
I feel like That's also why I was really calm when Susie did come in, and even when they went on their date, I was just like, I mean, I'm in a good place, Like I am confident in this the decision that I made. I still think that, you know, I know that Jeremy was the correct decision for me at the time, and so I was like, yeah, this is you know this, I'm making this decision like with a lot of confidence behind it, and kind of whatever happens going into week two, like that's just kind of
what happens. Like, I feel like it was a weird feeling though, because it did seem like everyone was really locking in after week one and that's like so nerve wrecking, and honestly, I don't even really remember us ever having conversations about other people coming in. I feel like we were just really taking all of our time to really
get to know each other. And so I mean, you have this thought that new people are coming in every week because that's just paradise, and I honestly like really didn't give it any thought.
I was just like, new people are coming in.
I knew Susie was coming, I didn't know that Jill was coming, and I knew that Ali Joe and Priesta were both coming. So I was kind of just like, I guess we just kind of see. Like I was like, I don't think I'm worried about any of the girls that are already here, So it's gonna.
Have to kind of be like, well, I mean I don't think anyone on in the history of this show, like week two's early, right, Like yeah, if you if you would have had an issue with him going on a date, that would have been like, Okay, it's it's pretty early, Like you got to explore when it's when we're only you know, it's really only like three three four days in. Yeah, he goes on the date, he
comes back. Where is your head at when he gets back? Like, do you know, like what where he stands with this relationship?
Well, so their date was like right before Rose ceremony.
So while they were on their date, I was like I spent the day just like kind of vibing, Like I just spent the day at the pool honestly with Spencer and Jess, Like it was so fun and we were just like having a good time. I was so calm, which is really unlike me. I was so calm the entire day. I was just like, you know, I was in a good mental space, just being like whatever happens happened,
and like that's really all that I can control. And then I think also like everyone else was kind of also having intense stress at that moment, so I was just like also trying to be there for my friends and also trying you know, there was just a lot going on at once, and so I think where my mental kind of was just like, oh shit.
Like maybe I will be going home tonight. I really don't know.
Like while I was packing, after I was dressed, I was like, yeah, maybe I should just like, you know, get it in my head that I'm feeling confident of where we are, but also like I don't know how the date's going. I know Susie's an amazing person, so like it's very you know, it's hard to say, like again, it's it's been like four days at this point, so it is kind of just like, oh, shoot, like something
could change. And then I think, like going into cocktail hour, I was like, oh, yeah, like maybe there's a chance that things could really feel weird. I definitely felt like a little I wouldn't say like an energy shift. I was just like, oh, I'm a little bit nervous. I could tell like he seemed very conflicted. And then we had our conversation and I I was just like, listen, I don't want to be really emotional in this moment.
Because I feel like I want you to make a decision, not because I'm upset, but because like this is actually the decision that.
You want to make. And I remember sharing that with him.
I was like, I don't want you to make a decision because I'm crying and like crying, screaming, throwing up. You know, I want you to make this decision because like this is what you want, and this is what you want on your journey, and you feel like that's how it should be. Because then like also it's just like it just gets messy when like someone's really emotionally like triggered.
You know.
So I feel like I just had to disassociate a coptail hour and I was like I just need to turn my brain off, just you know, I said my piece and whatever happens happens.
And that Rose ceremony was like really nerve wracking.
I feel like it felt like I was back on like night one of Grant season, just being like, oh crap, like things could really not go the way I want them to go. And so yeah, I mean, you know, it's it's a stressful situation, Like you understand both sides that you have to make these hard decisions and you just realize that it's paradise, Like really, anything can happen.
Did Jeremy give you any like reassurance or any inkling into where his rose was going?
I think that after we had our conversation, I honestly felt really good about our conversation. After we had it, I was still like a little emotionally shut down because I was still just trying to like process my emotions. Also, like I think everyone saw how much I cried on Grant season and also how much I cried Week one, So I was like, I don't want to be an emotional mess, So I just need a process in case I am going home.
So I did like slightly go into.
Rose ceremony, just like with the thought that like I actually really might be going home, so that I didn't like.
Maybe scream cry.
I don't know, like sometimes your emotions are just like not in tune in that moment, and I feel like I just told him. I was like, if it's not going to be me, all I want is like you to tell me that so I have time to like mentally prepare. And we never had time to have that conversation because you know, cocktail is quick it is you think you have all the time in the world and
you you really don't. And so yeah, going in the rose ceremony, like the only small inkling I had, like when we passed each other, he like winked at me, and I was like, that's weird, Like why would you wink at someone if you're.
Gonna send them home?
Yeah, I was like, I was like, if he just like winked at me and sent me home, I'm fully crashing out, like I'm gonna rock it, like I'm going crazy. And so then you know, I was calm, thankfully, I see calm even after the wink and I was just like, I hope, you know things work out in my favor.
And I was like if not, like you know, shortly it is what it is.
We see that he does give you his rose during that row ceremony, and then we also see everything play out with Justin and Susie where they both end up going home. Was any part of you wondering had Susie stayed, if Jeremy and her would have continued exploring their relationship. Did you and Jeremy ever talk about Susie after that rose ceremony and maybe what their connection had looked like on the date and what it could have looked like if she stayed.
Yeah, I feel like our conversation the next morning, like I just basically asked him, I was like, you know, are you feeling confident in your decision at this moment?
And he was like, I think he's like I made the right decision, Like I think you know I And he asked me if I wanted to know about the date, and I honestly didn't want to know about the date because I feel like the whole point of paradise is that you go on dates with people and like who the point is like you're choosing the person that you choose for a reason, And so I honestly just like
didn't really care about the date. I feel like if he really felt this connection, that he would have picked her, even if it was like a beginning spark, And so I was just like, I just have to be confident on like where we are. Obviously, I also had no idea that all these things were going on, and there's moments of doubt and there's all these things to process. But yeah, after that insane Row ceremony, like we too,
that was a crazy Rose ceremony. I didn't really think much about it because I was kind of like okay, and kind of hearing Susie like her viewpoint after, Like I don't know if I really think it would have changed that much because it didn't feel like she wanted to get into a love triangle, and I think it would have been really messy anyway. So I obviously have no idea what like would have happened. I guess it just like kind of worked out in my favor in that moment, and I think.
I was so focused on the present.
I really wasn't giving like a lot of these like what ifs time, and you know, when you watch it back, you think about things.
But yeah, I mean, well things are happening so fast too, Like just even the fact that you guys are going on dates on the same day as Rose ceremony. Yeah, like that's that's quick. That's things are moving fast. So I can totally understand how it's kind of like it's not even things getting swept under the rug. It's just like you know, the current's pushing you forward, and like if you didn't kind of jump onto something when it was happening, sometimes it gets a little left behind, but
this one didn't get left behind. It did end up following you through the next few weeks. Let's talk about your date with Andrew. So the roseter remedy happens, basically, I think it was to the next day, Andrew comes down to Paradise, He talks to you and Alex. He ends up taking you on the date. Walk us through your decision to go on the date with Andrew and then your conversation with Jereby.
Yeah, so I feel like I was really caught off guard by Andrew asking me to go on the date. I did know that Andrew was coming to the beach, but honestly, like I didn't really have like any thoughts about it. I just I didn't really give it that much like energy in my head. And the day that he arrived, I barely spoke to him, like I think I said hi, and then I just kind of like me and Jeremy were just kind of like off in
the corner. And so I was really caught off guard when he like asked to speak to me, and I was like, oh, and I came into our conversation and I was like, oh, you want to take me on a date? I was like I haven't even given that thought, because like I wasn't expecting you to take me on a date, honestly, And in that moment, I was just like, well, I don't see why it would be a big deal.
Like Jeremy just went on a date yesterday.
The whole point of Paradise is that you go on dates, and like if you come back and choose your person, then like that's who you choose, and that's like that's what paradise is about.
And so I was just like, I mean, yeah, I would love to go on a date.
I've honestly never been on a one on one So I was like, I've never had a date and like bachelor history, and I.
Would love to like know what these dates.
I was like, this would be fun, Like you know, Andrew had a really good energy and like I feel like I really enjoyed our conversation. We're like a little bit similar and like kind of our hutean like in those kind of things. I was like, yeah, I feel like this will be fun, Like we'll have a good time. And like when Susie talked to me about going on the date with Jeremy, I was like, I think he'll have a great time, and like that was my thought process.
And you know, obviously I don't.
Think that Jeremy and I really had a conversation about me going on a date that night. Like earlier, we weren't like, oh, if someone new comes in, like will you go on the date? Because I wasn't really thinking I was going to go on the date. So I think my first thought was like, Okay, yeah, like I would be open to the date, but like, I definitely need to like talk to Jeremy about it because I feel like that's kind of like, you know, how you
keep open and honest communication. And I was definitely caught off guard a little bit by you know, how upset he was, and it threw me off, Like I got really upset about the date, and then I was just like overwhelmed with emotions because I could have you know, and like you said, like things are happening so quickly, it's like you have no time to process. And the date was that night, so it's like all these things were happening like within you know, seconds or like minutes
of each other. So I was just like I barely have time to to process this decide if I'm going to go on the date, and I just knew I wanted to leave Paradise with no regrets. So I was like, I mean, I know he's upset. I hope that he trust me and you know, sees how things go. And I was like, I was really calm, cool and collected,
so like, that's what I also feel happens. Obviously that didn't happen, but you know, I was like, I was like, I still need to be present on like my journey here and make the most out of it.
And so you know, that's how I went into it for the date.
Yeah, it's interesting because when he told you about his date, you expressed a few minutes ago that your goal with the conversation was to not be too emotional because you wanted him to have a clear head to make his decision and not make a decision based off of your emotions. Did that contribute to, like your shock when he reacted so emotionally about you going in the date, and did it make you waiver in your decision in any way? Like did you feel swayed by his emotion?
It's not that I like felt swayed about his emotion. I think, like, you know, you you care about this person. So I was like, oh, like, if they're upset, I feel upset, you know that kind of thing. So I was more just like, oh, I'm really worried about like how upset he is. I wasn't really processing his reaction in that moment. I was really just like more worried about his feelings and about you know, how he was feeling about me.
Going on the date.
And I mean he's normally a very like calm headed person what I've learned about him in these two weeks. So I was just like, oh, I you know, I wasn't really thinking it was going to be a thing because I was like, I think he'll be calm about it, and you know, but it's also it's a really high pressure, high intent situation, like you're really having to like process
your emotions in paradise. You don't have a phone, you don't have like you can't call your mom, like you you really you have to process and be one with your emotions, and sometimes it just like it's skyrockets and it's like and I was definitely taken aback by that. I was like, oh, crap, Like he's really upset. I was not expecting him to be upset so I think that also really threw me off.
I am an immature person. At times. I would have said, what the fuck you went on a date, you know, fifteen hours ago. Why is it an issue if I now go on a date. Did you ever think that or ever say that?
Was that ever a kind of it would have been like I'm actually going to go date everyone on the speech now.
No, I just don't date I meaning everyone like I.
I guess, yeah, Like it would be like if this was like, you know, two weeks after and you guys kind of were more locked down and he was like visibly, then I would get it more. But because he had just went on a date in such a short period of time, it does seem just very hypocritical.
Yeah, And looking back, there's like two sides.
So it's like obviously the night before, like I expressed to him that like I was really only focused on him, and really I was like I wasn't really like I didn't really have like at that moment, like I had conversations with everyone, and like it was like him and I, like after going after Rose Serram, I was like, you know, there's not anyone I'm interested in, and like coming in I really didn't have Andrew on my radar, so it wasn't even like I was like, I hope Andrew takes
me on the date, you know. I was kind of just like, oh, I'm shocked that you want to take me on the date, because I was also like, there's other people that aren't coupled up, and so like that was a lot to process, and I think in the moment, I couldn't even be like, wait, I just went on the date.
But I think in some of the conversation I was like, you know, I just went on a date.
You just went on a date yesterday. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal for me to go on the date, And at that moment, I couldn't even really react and be like I'm angry, you know. I was just more like, oh, I'm worried about your feelings, and I was like very emotionally thrown off. So I think it was more just it was just like a caught off guard moment. I feel like that's what paradise is.
But it's like sometimes you don't even have time to like think in an angry matter, because like you don't have time to really process it. It was like i'd process going on the date. I has a talk to Jeremy. I'm leaving for the date. You know, it's so quick. So I think that's why probably after like I left, he had all this time, you know, to sit and think about me going on the date, and I really
didn't have to. I was like, I just have to be in the moment on my date, and then like later I can reflect back on this moment and think about how I'm feeling and how things go on, and we can have a conversation about it.
Yeah, Okay, so we see we see Jeremy somewhat spiral, which you know, he is getting a lot of heat for that, but like I do get it, Like you're in this situation, you spiral a little bit. He calls Susie bold move, but he does it. But when he gets back, or when you get back from the date,
you end up choosing Jeremy and not Andrew. Does Jeremy ever address the fact that, like, hey, like I overreact it, like you know, like or even explain why he was upset that you went on the date, Like why is he that upset over it?
Yeah?
Is there a conversation that kind of closes that out.
So the conversation like after the date, I obviously don't have time to see Jeremy.
It's late.
So we come back from the date, we go to sleep, I wake up the morning, the first person I want to see is obviously Jeremy. So we have like this moment where I discussed like the date, you know, I was like, do you want to know about the date? Like all these things, and I let him know that like, yes, I had a good time on the date, and like, I'm glad I went on the date, but ultimately, like I'm focused in on this, and I think where in that moment at least where he told me were his
feelings of like you know, where he was upset. He just like felt like I was maybe being dishonest with him because like I had said that I was really
locked into him, which in that moment I understood. I was like, yes, I still don't think it was like worth the freak out, just because like I was so calm, but also like at this point I've only known him for three weeks, so I actually really don't know how he processes, you know, intense moments like that, and I wasn't going to hold him too it either like his reaction, I was going to be like, oh, this reaction was so out of left field, like we're done, you know,
that's that's too much like worst. We're in this like pressure cooker of intensity. So I feel like and there's moments like where my first thought isn't always to like choose anger. My first thought is like usually crying, so like when I'm frustrated, when I'm overwhelmed. So I feel like also every single person kind of reacts differently. But we did have a conversation and I was like, I'm sorry if I misled like my words the night before. I just really wasn't thinking that he was going to
take me on the date. And that's really where a majority of like our conversation was about. Was just like, you know, I'm sorry for this, and he was like I shouldn't have really acted that way, and like, yeah, it was. It was like a tough it was a
tough wash like that night and like going into that morning. Obviously, I think in hindsight, I didn't know about the phone call, so I wish that that morning would have been just like a moment where he was just like yeah and like, ah, yeah, I did actually spiral, and I did you know, fully let loose? And I called Susie, and I think it would have been easily squashed and it not turned into
this whole thing, but it was. It was a tough like you're also like trying to shove so many things down, you know, like I don't have a phone where I can make a notes list and be like let me touch on this, on why this, and you know, reflecting back.
On this, and.
So you really are just like having all these conversations in all these thoughts based off what's going on in your head.
Yeah, I have one question, then we'll jump into the meat of it this week's episode. Do you think, just hypothetically, if at the cocktail party someone had said tomorrow, Andrew's gonna come down and take Bailey on a date and she's gonna go on it, do you think he would have given Susie his rose?
That's hard.
I feel like maybe honestly, because like at that point, like we didn't obviously knowing Susie, like she wasn't gonna go on the date with Andrew because they're friends and
he's friends with her ex boyfriend. So I think it would have definitely changed things if we obviously could have like looked into the future and seeing, yeah, like Andrew's gonna come in and like ask Bailey out a date, because like you know, there's also moments it's like you know certain people are coming in at some time, and so it's kind of like do I pick this person
knowing that someone else really wants them? And it's like it's even like with honestly, like Ali Joe and Sam, like you know, we kind of knew that they would be a good match for each other. So it's also like you're taking that risk of giving your rose to someone knowing that maybe someone they could be interested in or someone that like has them top Like you know what I mean, it's like you kind of and the point of paradise is like, yes, like I'm I'm a person.
I'm thinking about everyone's feelings and like the bigger picture and like you know, I'm thinking about your feelings how you're processing this, But you also have to think about yourself when you're in paradise, So like every decision you're making is based on like what's gonna have the best outcome for you? And so like honestly, if he probably would have known that like Andrew was coming down, maybe he would have picked Susie, even though not knowing the outcome of what I mean, I.
Mean odds, odds, he probably would because his odds are probably be like, why risks, why risk would you know this? But anyways, okay, okay, so let's get we'll get into this episode where things get get crazy.
Yeah, because obviously as viewers, we're seeing everything that you're not seeing. So we're seeing him spiral, We're seeing him call Susie, We're seeing these private chats that he thinks are private chats with Brian and him in the bedroom talking about I don't want to win this competition with Bailey, I don't want to go to the VIP suite with Bailey. I miss Susie. So this, as an audience member is a big build up moment because we are waiting for that day where you learn what we know that Jeremy
has been saying and doing. I would not have expected it to be Brian to be the one to step up to do this. However, he's the guy in this episode. We see he says and multiple times in interviews, how much he likes you, how much he cares about you, and yes, there's a sense of like there's this new competition element, but it does really seem like his conscience is kind of playing a role. He's you know, we see all the confusion of he's asks you for a
private chat, you think he's pursuing you. It's like, you know, a little bit of a mess. And then finally you're like, I don't want to date Brian. What is going on? Finally, you guys sit down and he kind of tells you everything that we as viewers have been waiting for you to learn. How did that moment feel and what was going through your mind?
So much is going through my mind, I mean honestly, like I'm also unfortunately watching it back with you guys, and that sucks.
It's kind of like, you know, you're like watching the You're watching something go on, and you're like, I had no idea these things were happening.
It is.
It's really hard.
You're just like, oh my god, Like you know, I was just like, honestly in La La land, Like I just feel like I was just like it's Bailey's world, Like I'm just in Bailey's world and I'm just living in the moment.
And then you're watching back and you're like, oh, I'm watching everyone else's.
World and it's not.
Thought.
It was, Oh, it's.
Not my world.
It's actually really not my world.
I'm actually living in everyone else's world and I'm just like a random.
But it was, yeah, like, here's the thing.
I do think that Brian was coming from a genuine place. I think that getting into this competition aspect, I still think, you know, there's always there's even if it is coming from a genuine place, there's still way it can be beneficial to you.
Do you know what I mean?
But I still felt like Brian was coming from a genuine place, and like he really expressed that in our conversation. Do I wish that he would have done it in the secret rendezvous way? No, because that caught me really off guard, and I think anyone that knows me, I'm like, I'm a taurist, I'm a super loyal person.
So like I was just like, oh, whoa, No, Like.
I was like absolutely not, Like I didn't know that that was the point of the conversation. I was like, I'm not about to have a secret rendezvous with you, because like that's insane work.
Like I would I'm not that I'm not gonna step out of.
My character just because like maybe you have something to tell me, Like I'm like, tell it to me at breakfast, Like what is this gonna change? Like I was like, you can't have this conversation with me in front of anyone, like at that moment. I'm also obviously the last person to know, so I had no idea that this is the purpose of the conversation. I had no idea why
he wanted to have the secret rendezvous. And the whole point of secret rendezvous is like so maybe you're like seeing who else you're compatible with and all these things, And I was just like, oh, this is just like not something I'm interested in, like you know, because like I have chosen Jeremy, He's chosen me, So like that's where my head was. I was like, we also just had like an insanely fun one on one date last week, so like why would why would anyone even think that
I would do a secret rendezvous. I'm still We're really grateful to Brian for telling me. It was such a shitty feeling, like knowing that I was the last person to like find out about this and every other person knew about it, like in the grand scheme of things, Like I just wish that Jeremy would have told me. I don't know where like his mind is at the time as to why he didn't tell me, or maybe things were going so good he didn't want to like you know.
Dampen the mood.
And I will say like I was very emotionally like upset, like coming off of having to send Gary and Leslie home, Like my emotions were just like out of whack. And so when Brian told me, it like really set me
off emotionally, like I just like shut down. I was just like it felt like everything had just been like building up for what we're in week like I don't know this week six, week five, and I was just like I'm like I'm done, Like I was like I'm out, like this is this is too much for me, Like I don't even care about the five hundred thousand dollars at this point because like emotionally I'm drained, like I'm at I'm on e like I can't take it anymore.
And I just wish that, like I don't know some of my friends would have told me, because like I just feel like, you know, in my head, like, yes, Jeremy should have been the person to tell me, and then secondly my friend should have told me. So it's like kind of hard because you're going down the chain of people that you wish would have told you before you got to Brian telling you. And that was really
hard because that just totally threw me off. And the Secret rendezvouth every it was like every single week, I was just being thrown off honestly, like I was caught off guard every single day of Paradise and that's a really like crazy feeling.
And that was just a really.
Insane day for me because I was just like I was tired from the challenge. I was like, oh, I'm excited to like see Jeremy now we've you know, we were all separate, separate for the challenge. It's like, you know, we're doing this, We're doing our compatibility challenge and things like that.
And so going into just the.
Night like where we would all hang out, like I got ready that I got served with the Secret Rendezvous note, I'm just like, whoaf Like these things are being thrown at me like left and right, and I was just like and then like I also like being the kind of person I was. I was like, I don't want to just like tell everyone about this like note that I've received, because like I actually don't know the purpose of the note, so like I don't I don't want to make it into.
Something more than it actually is.
I was like, and even then, as I'm like talking to Friesa, I'm like, I don't want her to think that, like Bri, what if I don't actually like it's my feeling that something sneaky is happening happening right now, but I actually don't know, So like who would I be to be the person to be like, you know, Brian sent me a secret rendezvous and you know, I'm talking to my friend and I just didn't want to like add to whatever they had going on and like make
it worse. I was like, I really need to process this, and like I need to talk to Jeremy about this because I also like don't want it seemed like I'm being sneaky, Like I feel like the worst thing you can do a paradise is like be portrayed as being sneaky like and I was like, and I'm just not that kind of so I was just like I need to be like really open and honest and really processed this like note first, and then I can go into other things and then obviously like Brian and Brees to
talk about it. And you know, I'm glad because I think me immediately going off and telling everyone of being.
Like Brian gave me this note, Brian did this, this is and.
This, and like I think it would have made things like a thousand times worse and really.
Would have been a big blow up.
And even after Brian told me about it, like I tried to really address it to Jeremy, not in a sense of like Brian told me this, you know, at that point everyone knew but me, So really it's like.
Everyone told me.
In my head, I'm like everyone told me because they didn't tell me it was it's really like hard, it's hard to watch this majority of the season has been a hard watch for me.
You're joying it, but yeah, I mean you're you're going through it, So I feel for you for sure, because you are. It's not an easy experience. And I feel like Jeremy calling Susie as much as like that sucks, and like I feel like you can get over something like that because you guys were still very early on in your relationship, like he he fucked up. He didn't tell you, Like that's a huge mistake on his part, and but it's like it was early on. Emotions were everywhere.
He spiraled, he freaked out, and he had a bad moment. But now we're like a couple more episodes in and then like you know, he tells Brian in his room, like I like something like I would still get engaged to Susie or whatever the fuck, or like I still like I still have feelings for Susie. How does that sit with you? Because it feels like you're, at least from what we're seeing, your relationship has progressed since the
moment he called Susie. And then it's like weeks later he still kind of says that.
Yeah, yeah, I think you question like the seriousness of your relationship and where he stands in it.
Yeah, Like watching it back, so it's like obviously the phone all happened week three, and then going into week four, I think it's like maybe that's like day nine of Paradise and hearing those comments, it's like never nice because you know how you're feeling in that moment, like in the moment, I'm like, you know, I'm feeling so happy,
I'm feeling locked in. I'm feeling like we're really growing as a strong couple, and I feel like my I actually think in the moment, if I would have just known that there were like all these doubts, it wouldn't be like as big of a deal. We would have just been able to like have these conversations, and I wouldn't necessarily watch it back and be like, oh, that's like the worst feeling.
Ever, you know what I mean.
And it's hard because, like I'm also someone if there was like moments where I was having doubt, I would just internally process those.
I know, I'm on TV, you know what I mean.
I know that I'm gonna watch back some of these things, and the last thing I want to do is like talk out of my character. I obviously like can't say if that was talking out of it, you know what I mean, Like in the moment, maybe he's just like having a conversation with his dudes. But that was like horrible to watch back, you know, it was hard to process. It was like week four, and yes, we were progressing
in our relationship. I also think like it's hard because in normal parent at this point, we don't know that it's a competition, you know, we don't know that there's not people coming in. So in normal paradise, I think that there's moments where you have like little doubts in your relationship and I wish that we would have just
had a conversation about it. I actually like, and I think we see this like coming off the morning after me finding out about the phone call, Like it wasn't the issue of the phone call, Like I didn't think that that was that big of an issue. It was more the issue of not knowing that the phone call had happened, and then even worse, everyone else knowing about the phone call, because it could have just been like
so squashed. It didn't have to be like something that took over this entire season, you know what I mean, something that like dragged on for me. And it's really
hard to process that. Like I think I'm still processing it every week because I just remember how I'm feeling in the moment, and I'm remembering our conversation and they were amazing because obviously, why would we progress to this moment and this time if like we weren't like really liking each other and like even on our date, like our date was amazing, that was like my best That's my best first day I've ever had, like in my
entire life. And I feel like we just got to get really deep, and I mean, I know how I felt, So I feel like I just kind of have to be like, Okay, I just have to be like what
I mean, what can I really do? Like it kind of happened, and I wish that we would have had time to talk about it in the moment or like him just talk to me about it and be like, hey, like I'm going to be honest, like I really like you, but I'm also like still having these like things of doubts and maybe we could have like talked about it. But yeah, it's it's really horrible watching it back, honestly. Yeah.
Yeah, Okay, So you know, it's obviously it's tough watching all the people that are you're close with know something about you and not tell you. And I get some of the reasoning is they're also friends with Jeremy. If the Roles war reversed and this was happening to Alex, do you think you would have what the way your relationship is do you think you would have told her.
Like a thousand percent, I would have not even like that night, I would have come back and I would have talked to her about that.
That's just the kind of person that.
I am, Like, I hold like my friendships to a really high standard. It doesn't mean that I don't I hold the person that I'm like talking to and dating to a high standard. But I feel like if anyone should have my back, it should be my friends, because really, like, no shade, but like, what is this guy that I've known for three.
Weeks owe me? Do you know what I mean? Like, what does he owe to me?
Like my friends that I've come close with that I'm confiding and that I'm like, you know, and I'm sharing to them how deep I'm getting into our relationship and how deep I'm feeling. And I feel like the first thing my first thought would have been like, Okay, I like me to tell you about this, like immediately, and then kind of finding out about all the girls that I also got so close with there also kind of finding out I just like don't understand why no one
told me. I think maybe I know I didn't want to know about his date with Susie. But like, I think it was very clear that I didn't know about the phone call, and so I don't know, maybe people didn't want to ruin like a good thing going on.
But yeah, it's really hard.
Everyone's in on a joke and you're not in on it, and it kind of felt like, you know, my love life is like unfortunately the joke that everyone's in on. Yeah, I'm just like a bystander. Just you know, I'm back in Bailey World and there's like bombs being thrown at it.
You know, I have no idea.
Yeah, just like knowing the kind of person I am, like I wouldn't have maybe told everyone, because I think everyone probably wouldn't have known. I would have just like told you know, that person, like directly. I would have just told her like we're sharing a room every single night together, and so yeah, that's how I would have acted. Obviously, I understand there's like she's friends with Jeremy and that's hard, but like I also like, do like really ride or
die for my girls? So like when you become my, I felt like we were all so close there. We spent every single day together, you know, I really felt so close to these people, and like that's why, like even sending home Gary and Leslie was so hard for me, because I had just gotten so close to Gary and Leslie and it literally felt like I was like killing them, Like that's what it felt like for me. I was like, I was like, I'm literally throwing them off a cliff
and ending their paradise time. And so I feel like that's why I was also like so emotional. I think that's what kind of also made the phone call hit even harder, because it was just like I would have liked someone that, you know, I was very connected to to tell me, for Jeremy and for all my friends, and so.
Yeah, okay, and then quick last question before we got to let you go. Why do you think that everyone villainized Brian for telling you? It felt like everyone was collectively mad and felt betrayed by Brian, and we're almost like we got to get him out of here, when I'm sure from your perspective, you're like, I'm actually so happy he did that, and I feel a greater sense of trust towards Brian.
Now, yeah, I mean, like the only one that the only one that it makes sense who would be upset with Brian would be Jeremy, because Jeremy's I told you you shouldn't send anything, but he did.
Yes.
But I mean we see Spencer, a little bit of Andrew, a lot of Cat and Dale basically saying like, we can't trust this person. But from my perspective, it's like, well, he you actually can trust him because if someone's doing something, you know that feels shady to him, he's going to be honest with you about it. Can you just give us a little bit of insight into that?
Yeah?
I think the thing is I see both sides. I am so grateful that Brian told me. I would have hated to like come off of this and then have this conversation and be like, oh I went through this entire season and not known that this happened and these comments are made.
I would have literally been distraught.
Obviously was still really it's still really hard processing every single episode. I think it's going to take me a while to like really you know, process it all. But in regards like everyone kind of like going against Brian. Obviously earlier that night when I thought he was being really sneaky, I was like, no, like, you know, Brian's got to go. He's being sneaky and then learning that he wasn't. I was so thankful and grateful to him, and I kind of wish that people would have seen that.
You know, maybe you guys should have just told me and we wouldn't have had to get to this moment where like people are scared they're going to go home, and like I felt like the reason Brian told me is because he was slightly scared, Like, you know, he could have gone home the week before, and he was like, I didn't want to leave knowing that no one was going to tell you, or knowing that people were going
to wait to tell you. And I had and I knew this and I didn't tell you, and so I you know, he expressed that to me in that moment too. And I think it's like a mix of things like obviously, you know he's had some freak out moments. I think people are also like the girls know about the freak out in the pool and things like that.
I don't maybe freak out, it's not the threat word, but you know what I mean.
So I think it's like a double edged sword. They're like, can we trust you? Also, these things are kind of happening. I kind of wish that people would have just listened to me and been like, guys, like, I'm not mad at Brian, like him and Freese's relationship. That's a different thing if you guys are voting based off that, like
that's what it is. I understand Jeremy feeling like he broke broad code, but I'm also really still obviously I'm grateful to Brian in that moment because I was just like, well, no one's gonna tell me, and I would have hated not knowing about that. So it's kind of hard. It's like, you know, what can you do with like at that
timely moment. But I think everyone like also, like to be fair, we really didn't have that much like drama going on, so it did feel just like boom, like so intense like when And that's why I kind of didn't want everyone to know that he told me. And then I think it kind of like got out, but like I didn't tell anyone that he told me, you know what I mean, And I made it seem like he was coming to me to talk about Parsa.
So yeah, that was kind of hard.
That was, and I mean, you know, him and Paresa's relationship and everyone voting like or whatever.
That's a different thing.
But I understand the guys like perspective, and I also understand my perspective. And I think in that moment, everyone should have really thought about like my feelings and not about maybe how betrayed you feel, because imagine how betrayed I feel. You know.
Yeah, I think that's like part I mean, I'm.
Not going to talk about Brian's character and stuff, but like I was obviously still and I say this, and like my item, I say, like I say this, and like, you know, I'm glad that he told me, Like I think it's something that I need to know.
I wish it was sooner than later, but you know.
Or it happened, I would.
Yeah, I mean, I you know, I agree with everything you're saying. And I think, like one hundred percent everyone should have, like if they're feeling betrayed, like think about how trade you must feel in that moment, and like, I think everyone should have just went with what you said. Like at that point, it's like now it is Bailey's world. Motherfuckers, Like listen to what I have to say, and that's that's gonna be. But the season's not over. For you.
I hope it turns around because you're lovely and it's really uh, it's tough to watch, but I think, uh, I think it's gonna be good for you. But what do I know?
Tuning in to see.
And thank you Bailey for coming on Batchelor Happy Hour.
Thank you guys, bye, of.
Course, and thank you to all our listeners. Thank you guys for tuning in to Batchler Happy Hour. Make sure you download and subscribe to the podcast.
We'll have new and exclusive interviews coming your way. Thanks for listening.
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