Back on Land | Golden Hour

Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks again for joining us, and we are so excited to be back at Kathy how about it. We got to share so much with them.

So we just got back from our cruise. We're gonna we're not only going to answer fan questions today, but we're going to tell you some of the great things we did on our cruise. But in the meantime, make sure you're submitting all of your questions to us and your comments. We love reading them. All you got to do is go to Bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour and send us everything you got.

Yes, send us everything, your questions, your updates, all of it, and questions for us about our journeys that we've been on recently.

Boyd, do we have a lot to tell you know what to do?

You can also dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

Okay, Susan, I don't even know where to be in on the cruise. We've got to talk. We have to talk about our Holland husbands. These two guys are gay, they've been together fourteen years. They are Dutch, they speak impeccable English. We sat next to them at dinner one night and we got chatting and we just hung out with him for the rest of the cruise. We went off the ship with him. We ate meals with them, we had cocktails with them, we took photos with them.

Susan, We're going to Holland We're going to stay in their house and they have actually a guesthouse on their property and they live right on the river and they want us to come when it's warm because they have a boat. These guys were like our best friends. We met them night one, like you said, at dinner, and we were inseparable ever since.

They were great.

They made They made the cruise for me.

One other thing made the cruise. I didn't do anything for you.

Really well.

Then I took you to the wear potato frack. Yes, so we go.

We go to Istanbul our first time. We started in Athens. Susan was sleeping and so Kathy got up and went to the acropolis. Found my way to the acropolis. They were sold out of tickets. Where there's a will, there's a way, I got a ticket, I went walked the Acropolis, did the whole thing. Anyway, we have so much more to tell, but right now we got to get into our question of the day. We do Are you ready? Here we go? I still I want to talk more about the trip, but we'll do it. We'll do it

I hate it when i'm wrong. First of all, are you ever wrong?

Yes?

I am? You know what, Kathy, I know? Like boom, I go, oh my god, I'm so sorry, Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I had no I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

Forgive me, like I immediately apologize, not to me.

Hide, Oh it's significant other, not me, not me, She says, I'm never wrong with you know what? I got to be honest here. I think when my husband was alive, what is it I'd rather be right than happy or something? There's expressions, Yeah, there's an expression. Do you want to be right or happy? I think I focused a lot on wanting to be right. And but now I've learned that when I'm wrong, I am so quick to say I am so sorry. I can't you know, I apologize.

When you were happily married, way back, when you were wrong, you wouldn't admit it.

You just I was.

I'm telling you I was rarely wrong in my brain.

You heard it from her mouth herself.

No, I'm saying, that's what I'm telling you. In my brain, I wanted I was right, and so now I would rather be happy than right. And so you know what, you know, you're wearing a beautiful pink shirt today. If I say it's a blue shirt, you say it's an orange shirt. Whatever color you want makes me happy. I just don't care.

One thing that comes to mind.

I remember griping to my my ex husband, Dicky, like when they play golf, what takes you so long? If you were done until I started playing, when I started playing the game, I'll never forget calling him up and said, Dicky, I owe you an apology.

He said for what I said. I get it.

It's you're done the eighteenth cold. It's long before you get home. And I understood why, And I apologize for all those times. Oh I wish I want him with three kids while he's had a day off.

You know, I'm just saying I wish I had only been wrong about golf games. I just think that, you know, I think little things. It's easy sometimes to say I'm wrong, Yeah, my bad, But I think some of those bigger things, I just indignant. You know. It was like I wanted to be right. I think again, Susan, how often do you and I talk about you have to get to a certain age where you know what it's okay in your head, be right in your heads, and just give the apology and move on with life, as.

Well as sometimes when you're accused of something that you did not do or did not say, or yeah, whatever the case may be. And I am a stickler like I will fight to the end when I know I am correct.

I don't anymore. I used to.

Yeah, well now it's not worth it.

That's what I'm saying now at my age there, I'd rather be happy than right, And so sometimes I know I'm right and I let it go. Sometimes you know I'm wrong, and when i'm wrong now I'm jumped to say I'm sorry. So I think again, It's one of these things. With age comes maturity, It comes discerning whether something is worth going to the mat and fighting about.

How about you guys out there, anybody else still feel like we do at this point, like it's okay to be wrong and you just accept it and apologize whatever the case may be.

Or do you guys still yeah?

Do your kids? Do your kids admit when they're wrong?

No, definitely not. They're not there yet.

I figured you and I are going to be six feet under the ground, you know, be manure for somebody's plants by the time kids are ready to admit they're wrong.

Oh god, whatever, all right, we're going to start our fan questions. My favorite part, Okay, I'll start.

Excuse me. I thought your favorite part was playing games.

Oh geez. She loves that as long as it's not the one game. Although the last few episodes we did play some cool game.

Moral quandary. I'm kind we're bringing out accidents.

No, no, no, no, no, all right.

This is from Laura, Hi, Kathy, and Susan. My husband is very nonchalant and doesn't have many opinions about things.

Was he when I was looking?

I think in general that's probably good, but it's hard for me when we are discussing future plans and goals. He says he just wants to do whatever makes me happy and that he'll be happy with that, and she's wondering, Okay, Am I just lucky in that way? Because sometimes I feel like with important decisions like where we live, or what jobs we have, or whether we have kids, et cetera,

Oh God, I say, where do I sign up?

I was wondering what your thoughts are. Am I just lucky and should just take it on the chin? Or do you think it's something I should be concerned about? Thanks for your help. Well, first and foremost, I do think I would need an opinion about having children. You want to know if the man is interested in having a family owned don't care.

I don't care.

I think that's a good point. You know, It's funny. In my marriage, we Daryl and I used to joke that I made the big decisions in life, like what we're going to have for dinners? Yeah, I made the big, those big decisions. He made the little decisions like where we were going to live, what city, what jobs, where we were going to invest our money? Like you know, I think you have. In some ways people have evolved. There used to be a division of labor where women

I think women have jobs as well, and they.

Oh people I know who are young, they really divided equally.

Yeah, a lot of them do now.

But I'm with you, Susan, I would be concerned. I mean, on the one hand, jeez, you know, a guy just wants to make me happy. Where let me sign up? Because I have an older brother of father.

His name, He just wants to make me happy. Whatever makes me happy. You're looking at a gift towards there.

Shut your mouth, but think about it.

But I mean, on the one hand, yes, it seems that way, but let's look at it in another way.

Maybe she thinks he doesn't really care, you know that kind of.

I'm saying, maybe you know, whether they're in bed whenever you want, Where do you want to live? Where do you want to go to dinner. I don't care what you wear. I don't care what do you want to name the kids? I don't care. If the first thing out of his mouth is I don't care, that doesn't bode well. I don't think for an integrated marriage where we have equal parts. But damn, I'd like to try it for a year or two.

Really, But look again, Laura, and think about it. Yeah, well, he just wants to make you happy. And if you're maybe she's not a type A, Kathy. Maybe she's not like us because we can control the world, you know, we go and loves in.

Wait a minute, she has to be a type A. He's the one that's not the type A. If she's making all the decisions.

But she's saying I feel like it's end all decision maker in the relationship, which causes her stress.

Hey, Laura, I've got the answer for you. Call Susan and me. List your questions, list your concerns, find you know. We'll tell you. Susan will tay how to decorate your house, what to buy, I'll tell you you know where to travel. Yeah, oh, I will not tell her what to cook. I'll tell you where to make a reservation.

I really don't.

I can see it.

I think you should just chill and let him be.

If you're not concerned that he cares, you know, he's really doing it because he loves you and he wants you happy, then then roll with it.

However, I think she definitely should talk about the kids. Yeah, force that one, Laura. You don't want to end up with three kids. And he wakes up one day and says, you know what, Laura, I never wanted any kids. You wanted them, so you know, have that conversation.

Usually you already have jobs. You don't say what kind of job we're going to have.

And where we're going to live. You're going to live where you were?

No, But like with my husband's case, you know, he had he was an investment banker, and so he had opportunities to move to other cities and work in other places. And I never you know, I figured he was one in that career, so I didn't really you know, you'd.

Be okay if he came to you and just said, Kathy, where I'm going to take this job here and we're moving.

Let me tell you susan funny you ask. My husband was old enough that he was at the tail end of the Vietnam War, so he was an officer in the Navy, United States Navy. I loved it. I wanted him to stay in the Navy. I loved meeting people. I loved moving all the time. I loved traveling. That's where I got the travel bug. So yeah, I would have been every time he said we were going to move. I remember when we when he finish graduate school and we moved to Houston for his first job out of

I'm telling you the nice life, all right, well that we had, Oh my god, were the best.

They are the best? All right? Okay, okay, The next one is from anonymous. Okay, here we go. I watched my daughter's two little ones four days a week, full time at my daughter's house. I arrived in the morning very early, and immediately I get angry. The house is a disaster. There are dishes in the sink, clothes all over, overflowing garbage, cans, et cetera. I can't stand it. Excuse

No, I know you would. I don't tell it for a second. And I am a little bit feeling the same way. I would definitely hire somebody. When I read that she watches them four days a week, it occurs to me that maybe because of finances they can't hire a professional.

They want mom to do it.

And if that's the case, I can really because the weekends, come there out all weekend.

And spend time with their family, you know what I mean?

Maybe that's why I get what she trust me, you know me, Kathy, I was having issues from the first sentence, I really get it.

I'm sorry. If they're out partying all weekend, stay home one night and hire a housekeeper.

I know, but we can't tell them what to do.

Then, if that's what I just said, she has two choices. One you give them a month to get their act together, get the house clean and say it's got to be kept clean. Or you tell them to hire someone. What you The third choice is not a choice. You you keep living in that mess. I wouldn't do it. You wouldn't either for me.

She says, all their toys inside and out are there, and the child goes to school. When the child's at school, that's when you're cleaning up.

I think that's part of it. I would do the.

Same exact thing, or get some toys for your home, inside and out. How far does she live from them to go pick them up, or have your children, your daughter drop her kids off to you in the morning. I mean, and that could be the reason when she explains, I can't live like that. I can't stay in your house. It's a total disaster. I'm not telling you how to live, but I don't approve, and it makes me crazy.

Well, I agree with all that, but when here, you know, I don't know. Maybe I had too much vacation in Greece, but I feel like this is not your daughter's problem. This is your problem, Anonymous. Don't make her problems your problems.

If the house, she says, they fight. Every time, you're fighting over the same thing. It's not going to change.

That's what I said. If you keep doing what you've been doing, you keep getting what you've been getting.

So that's a toleration of insanity. They say, if you keep doing the same thing over and over, you expect a different result.

Okay, So I know, Anonymous, when you hear this, you're going to say. Easy for you guys to say, Oh, I can assure you both Susan and I have said no to our children on babysitting, and I got to be honest with you. I love my grandchildren, Anonymous, I wouldn't do it four days a week now. That tells me you need to get yourself a life. And I realized that's maybe unfair. But you know, you can't complain about something you're doing. You're choosing to do. You can't

A sit down with your daughter.

Don't fight with her every week because it'll strain the relationship.

But when you say have a sit down, what's the sit down?

Say, honey, I can't live like this. I can't come here and clean your house. I bet you. The daughter turns and says, I'm not expecting you to clean it.

Your point, she's not comfortable being in it.

Yes, it's it's her compared to that.

That's why it's anonymous problem. Anonymous. You need to say I love you, but I can't do this anymore. I'll have the kids one day at my house, or you need to hire a housekeeper. Something has to change, Anonymous. I guess as Susan's in my point here, would you agree? Yes?

Good luck though it's a tough one.

And if nothing else works, I'll give you Susan's phone numbers. She cleans like no other. That place will be spanning about. Oh, give her two hours. Did not eat off the floors the story.

I went over to my son's house and his wife and the baby, and I thought i'd be helpful. The piles of laundry up in the room. It was like I started at seven thirty in the morning. I must have did nine loads of laundry, folded ready to be put away.

Wait where were way back up? Where was the laundry dirty or clean?

Well, it looked like piles of dirty laundry in their bedroom. And Stella and I were upstairs and we got her mommy's blow dryer when I.

Gave her a bath. Blah blah blah blah blah.

Anyhow, I go, let me help them, because they both work full time. It's long hours, right, I do all this laundry. They come home and she was like, oh my god, I can't believe you did all that for me. Oh my god, I really And the baby was young. It was the first time, Mommy, you know, I get it. And Christopher says, mom, those three piles right there, they're clean.

I Susan, I knew where you were going to win. Kyle, who's if you all forgot? Susan officiated his wedding a year and a half ago, so Susan knows Kyle. Kyle went before he was married, he lived in an apartment and he was moving and my sister from Canada. Susan, my sister is also Susan. Susan came to visit and we went over to Kyle's apartment to drop off some boxes because he was moving. And we walked in. I swear to God, I said, was there a robber in here?

I could never Oh, and my boys when they were growing up, I would teach my children. I'd do the laundry for them, of course, And I'd say, all you have to do is put it away, and they did.

It's so easy. I could just grab it out of the basket. No, that's a thing.

Do you know there are people that don't mind doing laundry and folding, but they don't want to put it away. I'm like, that's the easiest part. It's it's the sorting the laundry, putting in the bleach, putting.

You ask me for something, I could tell you exactly. Go to the third drawer on the right. I can test you this.

I literally will say this Susan when I met our house, Hey, can I borrow a pair of running shorts to go out and walk? Yes? In the guest room. Go into the third drawer on the right. Behind the black box are three pairs. I swear to god, she's not lying.

It's same with the eyeliner. Somebody needs top drawer centered, not on the other side.

Third row back the third because the first two rows are black and then brown the third six.

Okay, all right, anyhow, Oh my god, that was Those.

Are good good Hey Anonymous, good luck with your daughter.

Yeah, you gotta be real.

If it's really stressful. Then some people can turn the other cheek. I admire people like this, Kathy. Some people can roll and not let it bother. It's not their problem.

They just do what they do. I can't do that.

I wasn't built that way.

I have one more quick straight before we move on to our our last Golden Spotlight segment. When we were on the cruise, I swear to God, people, I'm not joking. You walked into Susan's room. I was like, is anyone say every day?

She said?

Every day you'd walk into a room. There was nothing in sight. It was like, Susan, are you sleeping here?

Like?

Everything is packed in neat, tidy bags, in drawers, in put away. Ever put it away. That's Susan's You know, what are your tombstone? Sus And I'm going to tell your children Susan knowles.

She always put it away, always put it away. Everything has a home.

Oh that's right, everything has a home. All right, let's move on there.

Okay, Now we're going to be doing a Golden Spotlight where we discuss something that is impacting the Golden community. Today's Golden Spotlight is all about life in an empty nest. What is the transition like going from having kids in the house and being a full time parent to when your children have their own lives and families. What are the pros and cons and how did you get through that tree? Oh my god.

Most people have tears and it's really hard. I did cry when the first day, you know what I mean. But I was like, yes, everything's going to be neat like I leave it. When I come home, it's exactly like I left it. You do miss them, but when they come back and stay for a couple of days, I go insane because as much as I spend time with them, stuff all over the place. So some people really really have a hard time. And I personally think that they devoted their lives totally one hundred percent, as

So I'm in the middle there. I had hobbies and friends, but I and I worked on and off, but I raised my kids. And this is a very true story. We were living in Austin by the time Caitlyn went to college, and we had bought a big family house and upstairs everyone there were three bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a playroom and now our bedroom and the rest of

He went to college. She was coming back, no Caitlyn.

When Kaitlyn graduated from high school, she went to college in California. Then she lived overseas for a while. Then she lived in San Francisco, then she lived in New York. And I've told you this when she called and then she went to grad school in Boston, And when she ever called us and said she was moving back to Austin, I almost fell over. Kyle came home. He came home after college. Douglas has never lived back in Austin. He hates the heat, and Caitlyn took her like fifteen years

When you moved that it got better.

Yeah. Oh, and in fact, I live in the same home now that Daryl and I moved to when we sold that big house.

And I love it and kids never lived there. They come and stay, period.

They come and stay. One of the room's upstairs. I used to call it Caitlin's room because she did live in it for a while after college, between before she moved to Dallas and then back to San Francisco. But yeah, no,

And redecorate the room and take over the closet.

And Susan, yeah, I mean you get to do things for you and your spouse or your partner or your girlfriend or whoever it is you or yourself. You get to do some things you haven't had time to. And then when grandchildren come along, you know, that's a whole other fabulous sam layer.

Don't you agree, Kathy.

One the kids get their place, you're over there a lot, and you're helping them decorate, and you're helping them get new things for the bathroom and all that stuff. It's kind of exciting because it is starting a life.

It's so funny you said that when I had the big house. I love decorating it. I really did buying things for it. Now my daughter comes over and says, Mom, I really like that mirror. Take it. It's your furnishings and things to my kids because they like it. They're in a building mode. You and I are in a do we really need this anymore? Mode? Right? That's how it is, her one way this mode. Yes, yeah, so I think that's the pros. You get to do things

It is, it is, but it's all part of life.

It's all part of life. And now you know, I wouldn't want to go back with you.

No, No, that's why young people have babies.

That's why we have grandchildren, so we can spoil them and send them off.

Absolutely. I had a huge party here yesterday. Instell of God. The things she says at our mouth she's so funny.

But they're funny, but you know, might be.

And she's just having the time of her life. And when it was all over, there was a huge mess. We cooked on the grill of it.

I don't care, don't you don't have to help me clean up. It's all good.

And I guarantee you, folks, if students in Philly and I'm in Austin, but I will bet you you the bottom dollar in my bank account, that if I went to Susan's house right now, you would never know that her family was there yesterday.

You could have came last night. I don't go to bed with it.

Oh God, All right, Well, this has been so so much fun. We want to thank you all for listening. Today we're going to be back again talking more about our crews, talking more about Susan has a special visitor at her home. We might want to talk about it.

Company.

Make sure you keep following us and follow them from Bachelor Happy Hour, as we have new episodes coming out every week and you don't want to miss I mean, the things that.

We've experienced just in the last few weeks.

We want you to submit all your questions and comments to us. We want to know if you have friends and Holland husbands to travel with, because we fully agree it is the best anyway. All you have to do to reach out to us is go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or d m us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. We really do want to hear from you.

Absolutely listen to our Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app for wherever you listen to your podcast.

Until next time, we have

A great week.