Hello babies! Eat anything good lately? Lisa's dog ate her mouthguard and underwear. Emily does Zumba with two middle aged women and considers learning Spanish. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Mozart and Scatology." Turns out everyone's favorite composer loved fart jokes as much as the rest of us!
Hello, babies! It's tax season, so we're doing anything to distract ourselves from filing! We're digging through various 1099s to find listener submitted questions. All your questions will finally be answered! How do you start dating again after being widowed? How do you respond to an overly complicated bro high five? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Chicken eyeglasses." Chickens used to wear stylish spectacles to protect from feather pecking and cannibalism!
Hello babies! It's the greatest time of the year - the MaxFunDrive! Make sure you sign up to become a member so you can get access to the special bonus episode! We do a march madness style bracket to help decide what celebrities belong in Terrace House: Baby Geniuses edition. On this episode we read the Wikipedia page for "Goofy," but you may know him as George G. Geef or Goofus D. Dawg. But that would be weird if you did!
Hello babies! Got any great travel plans? We don't! In this episode, Lisa successfully blurbs a book, Emily is still considering starting the podcast about wiping ass. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Mariko Aoki phenomenon," a Japanese expression referring to an urge to defecate that is suddenly felt after entering bookstores. Scientists are clamoring to find an explanation.
Hello babies! We've been very busy lately so we're finally catching up on all the good things we missed last year. Why didn't anyone tell Emily to watch Get Out sooner? On this episode, we let the toucan out of the bag! Lisa is creating a new show for Netflix! Tuca & Bertie stars some of the characters she's been doodling while recording Baby Geniuses. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Flatulence Humor." Humans have been laughing at our own farts for millennia. Sorry mom, ...
Hello babies! If a baby Bojack appeared on your porch, would you take care of it? Someone made an eerily realistic Bojack doll and sold it on Etsy. We'd like for whoever bought it to come forward. Emily recorded her live album in Portland recently, she would like to say thank you to the lovely person who sent her a whole cheese pizza. On Wiki of the Week, we read the extremely on brand Wikipedia page for Each-uisge, a mythical water horse.
Hello, babies! We hope you enjoyed the Big Game! We spent Sunday cheering for 2018 all star Phil Rosenthal. We skipped the puppy bowl and revisited that show about hypothetical bizarre animal fights. Also on this episode: a couple is inspired by our witch tattoo conversation and gets matching butt tatts! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Clamato."
Hello geniuses! I mean, hello babies! Both come off kinda condescending, right? We don’t really mean to be. In this episode, Emily considers marrying Lisa’s dog. Lisa has conflicting emotions regarding the hypothetical ceremony. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “List of Gestures,” which is awfully comprehensive. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt
Hello babies! Emily didn't get a lot of sleep last night because her neighbors fighting, so please ignore all the cold brew slurping sounds. She's hot off the heels of throwing a successful retirement party for all men. We'll explain what that is. Lisa reads a book about a sexy merman and discovers that's not really her thing. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Catalan mythology about witches." It gave us some fun tattoo ideas! Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt
Hello babies! Portland, OR based babies: Come to Emily's album recording on January 20th at the Curious Comedy Theater! Non Portland based babies: Portland is very beautiful in late January, consider visiting? Happy new year! Maybe things will get better this year, maybe not? We will be here to scream into our hands with you either way. On Chunch Chat, Martha shows off a coyote eating donkey. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Death during consensual sex." I learned the word de...
Hello babies! We're trying something new today- a 100% Emily and Lisa episode! Emily saw the new film I, Tonya, and tells us about it. On Chunch Chat, Fernando helps Martha Stewart hang her Kugels. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Vegetable Lamb of Tartary, a legendary zoophyte of Central Asia, once believed to grow sheep as its fruit. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt
Hello babies! Quick question - if we’re not supposed to pick our noses, why are our fingers *exactly* the right size to get up in there? What habits are you trying to break? On today’s episode, Emily goes to West Virginia and visits a secret government bunker. Lisa tells us about your butts. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “The Most Unwanted Song,” a novelty song designed to incorporate musical and lyrical elements annoying to most people. Everyone agrees it is much better th...
Hello babies! Have you seen long bear? The legs are quite long. Get one for a significant other before they sell out! On today’s episode, Lisa discovers a new slime teen and one of Emily’s favorite ASMR artists returns. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Agnodice,” supposedly the first female midwife or physician in ancient Athens. We welcome TV writer Chris Marcil, who has brought in some of his favorite out of print books to show off. On Expert Hour, we are joined by commerci...
Hello babies! Hope you’re having a very spooktacular season! Lisa had a creepy experience recently, but not the fun kind of creepy. Emily preps her Halloween costume. If you’re a long time fan of the show, you’ll recognize it immediately! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Athletics at the 1904 Summer Olympics – Men's marathon.” We welcome comedian/actor/writer John Early, who has some thoughts about the 2015 Meryl Streep film Ricki and the Flash. On Expert Hour, we are joined ...
Hello babies! What is your word of the year? We have a few fun and totally not sad options for this year. Emily has a weird, creepy experience with some curtains. Curtains aren’t supposed to do that! Lisa gets a terrible DM on Instagram. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “List of premature obituaries.” A premature obituary is an obituary published whose subject is not actually deceased at the time of publication. Who knew not dying could be so fun? We welcome “writer” Jess Dwec...
Lisa is finally getting around to watching The Sopranos in its entirety, so we’re finally getting around to discussing how James Gandolfini is actually kind of hunky. Well, specifically, when he was alive. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Republic of Molossia,” a micronation in the United States founded by Kevin Baugh (b. July 30, 1962) and headquartered at his home near Dayton, Nevada. Road trip, anyone? We welcome musician Patty Schemel, who had an interesting mole related ...
Hello babies! Maybe this is actually our five year anniversary show? I’m a little confused. Anyways, Emily celebrated a different anniversary recently by staying at the Disneyland hotel and accomplishing the impossible: eating the correct amount of edibles. Lisa recently watched The Craft (1996) and got nightmares. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Frozen Dead Guy Days," an annual celebration held in the town of Nederland, Colorado , to loosely celebrate the 1994 discovery of ...
Hello babies! It’s our five year anniversary episode! Won’t you come celebrate with us? The traditional five year anniversary gift is wood. We’re registered at iTunes, please give us a five star review and just leave us your favorite kind of wood (mahogany, birch, etc). No gross jokes please! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Cobra Effect." This is surprisingly not about a Steven Segal movie! We welcome Eliot Glazer, who watches The View more than anyone really should. On Expe...
Hello babies! Emily is doing some shows in Texas this week! If you’re in the general vicinity of Texas make it a point to check her out and let her make you laugh! Is the brown noise real? On that note, when was the last time you laughed so hard you peed your pants? Was it this decade? Have you ever made someone pee their Levi’s? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Margaret Howe Lovatt,” a volunteer naturalist from Saint Thomas, US Virgin Islands, who took part in a NASA-funded ...
Hello babies! Have you seen Emily on tour this summer? Go do it if you live near a city! Have you bought a Ban Chunch shirt yet? Go buy one, unless you live somewhere that doesn’t have a post office. In that case, you probably have other things to worry about. On today’s episode, we struggle with impulse control. Also, we answer a difficult question from a listener. On Wiki of the Week, we read the section from the Wikipedia page for “Squatting Position,” titled, “Hunkerin’.” It was so popular i...
Hello babies! First things first: Go buy a Chunch shirt and go see Emily on tour this summer! lisahanawalt.threadless.com and emilyheller.tumblr.com respectively. On today’s episode, Lisa has a frustrating online purchase experience. Also on today’s episode, Emily has a frustrating customer service experience. On Chunch Chat, Martha has been doing some garden tours and showing off Banchunch. Emily gives Lisa a Chunch themed gift. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Curse of the ...
Hello babies! Summer is in full effect! Emily overdid it at Disney’s California Adventure and threw up, which ranks as the third most interesting thing to do at Disney's California Adventure. Lisa has a hot take on Josh Gadd and Ed Sheeran. Can they really be as bad as we want them to be? Also on the episode, we discuss the rules of karaoke and which fictional characters (specifically animated) were the most horny-inducing. On Chunch Chat, Lisa made some Banchunch shirts! Go buy one at lisahanaw...
Hello babies! And a special hello to all you fans of Frasier out there! There are at least three references to our favorite show. See if you can find them all, or if I missed any! THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS: Emily visited The Thing, an Arizona roadside attraction. If you don’t want to know what The Thing is, please fast forward. On Chunch Chat, we not only celebrate the return of Banchunch, but his victory in the Pleasure Class at the Bedford Riding Lanes Association BRLA! We’re just happy t...
Hello babies! On today’s episode, Emily and Lisa answer YOUR questions! That is, if you are one of the people who asked us a question via Twitter the day we recorded this episode. If you aren’t, maybe you can pretend that one of the questions they answer is your own. Use your imagination! On Chunch Chat, there is no new Chunch news. Don’t worry, it’s always darkest before the dawn. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Fartons,” confectionery sweets typical of the Valencian town o...
Hello babies! Emily has a fantasy about telling a skater off and shares a new piece of fan art inspired jewelry. Lisa is disgusted and intrigued by a stranger/new friend. On Chunch Chat, we are now months into a Chunch drought. We have some fun consolation Martha news. On Wiki of the Week, we read the WIkipedia Page for “Virgin Boy Egg,” a delicacy from Dongyang, China. These eggs are boiled in- you guessed it - boy urine! We welcome Megan Gailey, who is a lifetime fan of the Indianapolis Colts....
Hello babies! Emily is on tour, if you live somewhere in the US check if she’s coming to your town soon! Maybe she’ll even autograph a zine for you? Lisa is on hiatus from work so she has taken up weaving. On Chunch Chat, there is still no new Chunch news. We are suffering from the throes of Chunch withdrawal and no basket house or peafowl will feed our need. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Office Assistant,” better known as the infamous Clippy from Microsoft Office. We welc...
G’day, babies! Emily is back from Australia, and she is very disappointed by a missed connection with a koala. Lisa teaches us about “the danger triangle,” which is an area on your face and not a large part of the Atlantic ocean, as I’d assumed. On Chunch Chat, we are itching for a Chunch fix, as Martha has been fowl-focused as of late. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Dirty Blues,” which “encompasses forms of blues music that deal with socially taboo subjects, including sexu...
Hello babies! Lisa is back from India and is relieved to be back home in calm and empty, relatively traffic-free Los Angeles. Emily’s grandmother recently passed and she recalls some nice stories. On Chunch Chat, we get a drone’s eye view of Martha’s property. Check out the roofs on those basket houses! On Wiki of the Week, we read the WIkipedia page for “Zozobra,” a giant marionette effigy that is built and burned during the annual Fiestas de Santa Fe in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Very proto-Burning...
Hello babies! Special greetings to our babies down under! Emily is performing at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival this week. She will be telling jokes with that American accent she is known for. This is the first episode we’ve recorded since having our conversation about ADHD recently, and we touch on how our feelings have and haven’t changed since. On Chunch Chat, there is no new Ban Chunch news, but we do learn about Martha Stewart’s new pussy willow grove. We are amused by Martha’s...
Hello babies! It’s MaxFunDrive 2017- go to Maximumfun.org and help support the Babies and all your other favorite shows! Check out the Baby Geniuses themed gifts! I want a Baby Geniuses butt pin really badly!! We’re traveling a lot this month which has us wondering - how do you pronounce this dang place? Do you make an effort to do as the locals do? When in Rome, say Roma? Or does “Paris” rhyme with “heiress” to you? Emily finally got around to seeing A Dog’s Purpose. On the subject of gut wrenc...
