Dissecting Love and Reality TV: Reflections on Romance, Vulnerability, and Personal Growth

But I have had a few of y'all reach out and ask why I haven't been doing relationship episodes lately , and it's mostly because you have to be real raw and vulnerable to do that .

And , of course , doing a solo episode with no one to bounce things off of that ultimately falls back on my own experience experiences and Sometimes that can be a little draining and a little terrifying . But I decided , since I love love is blind . If you haven't watched season 6 , it is out of control . I really recommend you go watch it .

This will be a spoiler alert for season 6 , so I decided I can kind of recap the season , even though I'm late to the game . But I'll recap the season and then also intertwine a little bit of my relationship quote-unquote advice , if you will . So if you're into that and you love the episodes where we talk about relationships , this is for you , stay tuned .

All right , guys . Like I was saying , I want to kind of dive into a little relationship talk . So if this is for you . Love it , love that you're here . Some of you have asked me to discuss more relationship top topics , which is both flattering and comical to me . One , because I haven't been in a long-term what I consider quote-unquote committed relationship .

I don't know if ever like I've dated a lot of people like dated off and on for a really long time , like I Would consider myself , like if I was gonna say that I was in a relationship , I would say that I've had to and like what I would consider like my definition .

I would say that I've had two people that I was really serious about and Then other people that I really did like and hoped it went somewhere . But we just dated whether that lasted , like you know , four to six months and it kind of just fizzled out and it just wasn't that hard-hitting .

You know , cry me a river , like Justin Timberlake says , so like song and dance , if you will . So it . That's why I think it's flattering and comical to me , because I haven't had those Relationships . I'm not the over here . I'm not over here like married to my soulmate , where I can be like , yes , do everything like me .

But maybe it's because I do Just have advice and opinions on everything , like I had just have an outlook in a perspective when I try to view everyone's outlook and perspectives . I just truly feel like that's one of the reasons why I started this podcast .

I just think that everyone obviously is unique and I will say this if you're listening to this and you're og like my High school friends , maybe you've dated me in the past . I haven't always thought that like . I used to be so set in my ways and I'll kind of dive into that here in a little bit . But I Also wanted to recap season six of love is blind .

Just because I Love that show , it gives me a different perspective On , you know , outlooks , on biases and things like that . But I really wanted to recap that , which I'm kind of late because everyone's already recaptured , it's been over with and the reunion's already out .

But I was like , well , maybe I could just , you know , talk about the love is blind , so this will be full of spoilers .

So if you have not watched it , highly recommend turning this off , because I'm not holding back I'm sure everyone's watched it by now but Wanted to do that and I was like , well , maybe that would make it easier than just doing a solo episode where I'm the only Topic for discussion .

That's what makes relationship episodes hard when you don't have a friend here or a co-host , just because , like , bouncing your own perspectives off yourself not easy , but anyway . So this is just quote-unquote advice on what my opinion is and it's just that . It's just an opinion . But it's also hard to talk about it because , like , opinions change right .

Like opinions change on a whim , like I could wake up tomorrow after this episode releases and go . You know what ? I said all that , but I Wanted . I completely changed my mind . I think something completely different now and this is out in the universe like , people will hold you to the shit you say .

You've seen people like show receipts or Twitter and Instagram . They're like you said this , so you must mean it . It's like no , like I thought it at the time , but I have grown and evolved . So if you see me in six to eight months and I am in a long-term , committed relationship and anything I've said on this podcast , I'm doing the complete opposite .

Just know , people evolve , people change . If you don't believe me , go back and listen to my episode that's titled we can't growth because we can't stay fetuses forever . That's what life is about . Sometimes you see something and it just sparks a change in your thought process .

Or maybe you listen to a podcast and you listen to advice of one stranger and you're like , okay , I Changed my whole perspective on that . I like the way you thought that out . I was completely against it . That's what's called open-minded people , and when we're open-minded we have a better outlook and perspective on anything in life , not just relationships .

But anyways , that's why I was like , why not just rip the band-aid off and just be vulnerable ? So let's just dive into it .

I Haven't been so shy about my previous situation ship where I discussed being in what I thought was Quote-unquote love with someone who clearly did not feel the same about me for years on end and if y'all want to like get technical , it was years .

I've talked about this in multiple episodes before and I think it's easier for me to talk about that now just because I've moved , past it and I'm not emotionally tied to it , so I can look at it objectively . But going through things like that are more current in my situation .

I'm more emotionally invested and tied to it , not to mention the other person's perspective . Right , you got to have respect for the other person's perspective . Anyways , people have listened to that episode and my friends that know the situation , you know , have asked me if I regret you know , quote-unquote loving someone for a really long time in my life .

Like , was it Wasted time , which I don't , like the words wasted time but more on that in a little bit , I don't . Well , I'll just go ahead and talk to say it now . I don't feel that people waste time . Like I feel like you are exactly where you're supposed to be and Everything happens the way it's supposed to happen .

Sure , we we always are presented with choices in life choice a , choice B , which one is going to be right . And Jay Shetty said something the other day I saw on Instagram which , if Jay Shetty says it to me , it's , it's golden , it's the word . But he said that we're faced with 33,000 decisions per day .

I'm pretty sure that's what he said , so don't quote me on that , but he said 33,000 decisions per day . There's always some situations that are decisions that you're faced with .

There's no right or wrong , like yes could be right , no could be right if it's a yes or no question , but the the right thing is , or the correct thing is , how you deal with the outcome of the decision you made . So if you made the choice , yes , and you Were in . I don't want to say regret , but let's say you regretted it .

How do you handle that regret ? How do you move forward ? How do you shift perspectives from that ? That is the true result of the decision , and when he said that I was like , that makes a lot of sense . I am horrible at decision-making , but maybe if I viewed it the way he said it , then I could make decisions easier .

But anyways , going back to do , I regret that situation in my life . I wouldn't necessarily use the word regrets . I do truly believe everything happens exactly how it is meant to happen . I said that a minute ago . I'll say it now Without that situation in my life , I likely wouldn't be living in Huntsville with some of the most amazing friends .

I have a great job and a good livelihood . Who knows , though , if I would still be in the same spot . I am without that situation , and I could get into that , but I'm not . I just like I fell in love with a guy when I was in high school . I moved down to Huntsville to try to rekindle that relationship , and it just flopped right .

But we can also look at it the other way . Let's say we were still in a relationship , I would have moved down here for him anyways to keep the relationship going , to go to college . So either way in those scenarios , in my mind I would still be in Huntsville and then I just fell in love with the city . I didn't want to leave my friends .

My friends are now like my family . I have a tight knit group of girls that would just . We would do anything for each other and I wouldn't trade it for anything . So in that situation I would say that I would end up in the exact same spot . Would I be the exact same person ?

Probably not , because I went through a lot in that situation ship where I grew and evolved .

Like I said earlier , when I first started dating him , he would tell you no , she is so stringent on how she thinks , she does not budge , she does not compromise , and losing that like because he was very good at compromising and things like that , and so learning that from him , that was one of the things I was like . Well , maybe that's why I lost him .

So I need to work on that all myself . But I wanted to do that Like I didn't work on it and hopes to get him back . I worked on it because that's something that I truly wanted to work on myself , but anyways , moving forward , I truly do . It would be cool if life was like oh , you get to play out these two scenarios , let's pause time .

Let's here's choice A , here's choice B , let's play it out , see which choice you like better . Or do you even end at the same spot ? So funny story . I did watch the new Netflix movie with Lindsay Lohan in it this weekend . It's called Irish Wish . I will say the acting's not the best . So if you really enjoy acting , this probably is not for you .

But if you kind of like the cheesy lifetime movies this kind of reminded me of that probably should have been on lifetime . Anyways , if you're planning on watching it , I'm about to have a spoiler , so fast forward If you're not . Here it is .

She is a publicist or a co-writer , editor , whatever to this edit this author's book and she falls in love with him and he ends up liking her one of her high school best friends , but she never told him that she had a crush on him . So they end up going to Ireland for the guy she has a crush on in her friends wedding . So while she's in Ireland .

There's like a wishing stone , wishing seat , something like that , where she makes a wish that she wishes she were the one that married him . So she wakes up the next morning she's now the bride . The friend is now her bride's made . Hope you're

following along .

That seems a little confusing and the situation basically plays out like towards their wedding , when she was really there to be a bride's made , but ultimately he's still drawn to the person that he was going to marry in the first place , despite this wish , and she she's realizing that the wish isn't good , but she's trying to tell herself , so bad that that's what

she wanted and that's , you know , how it should be . Ultimately . You know she ended up not marrying him due to that not being her quote unquote destiny . She wasn't meant to be with him in the first place . So sometimes like it would be cool if you could play out those two scenarios like a movie and just watch it and be like , okay , which one ?

So that you can see if you are supposed to be with that other person when we're talking about relationships , or maybe it be a job . Should I take that job or whatever , and not quote unquote waste time ? But like I said earlier , I don't truly believe in anything like wasting time .

I don't think there is a waste of time like you are where you are because that's where you're supposed to be . End of end of end of that .

With all that being said , though , I haven't been , that was a long ramble of why I haven't been so shy about talking about relationships and whatnot , but we're now going to just kind of switch gears a little bit , talk about some season six , love is blind recap and then intermingle my personal thoughts on it and maybe some personal experiences as well .

So the people I want to discuss today from love is blind , season six is Chelsea and Jimmy , with a sprinkle of Jessica , laura , sarah and , in Jeremy's triangle , love life , jessica and Kenneth , johnny and Amy and , of course , ad and clay . All of these cast members bring up good topics , with each being different kind of relationship vibes .

But first let's start out by saying if you haven't watched love is blind I'll repeat this for the umpteenth time Please skip this portion of the podcast because it is a spoiler . It is the whole show . But the whole concept , if you haven't watched love is blind , the whole concept of the show is to go on the show never seeing the person on the other side .

So like you're sitting behind this wall in these cozy little rooms and you're basically speed dating and then you kind of narrow it down and you're going there with the intent to get married . That is the ultimate . Like sight unseen . Can you marry someone without seeing them ? Is love truly blind ? Some people go on there . That is their intent .

Then they realize you know they don't want to get married , but they have found their person , they have found love . But then of course you do have some people that go on there that just want the fame . But it is like I get it Like some people .

Like after you see a season one of something , you see all these people becoming famous or they become influencers and they're making a lot of dough .

So you go on there for the wrong thing or the wrong reason and I guess I mean we're all out for each other , like out for ourselves in general , like I try to say that I'm not , but there are more selfish people in the world .

But at the end of the day we do truly care about our feelings first , and if you're rolling your eyes , I mean like I consider myself a very caring , considerate person of other people , but when it comes down to it , you do truly care about your feelings .

So , going on a show where you don't know someone , of course you're going to care about your feelings and , if your intentions right , you're not thinking , well , what if this person truly falls in love with me and I break their hearts ?

Guys , I mean , I know women do that too , but I'm just saying like I do believe that people go on these shows not thinking about the other person or how it feels .

Similar to real life , like I think people start dating before they've healed from a previous relationship or before they're ready or before they know what they want , and I don't think the intent is to hurt another person , but you do end up hurting another person because you weren't looking for the same thing .

In my opinion , don't be out here dating people if you don't want a serious relationship . Like date . That's what dating most most , that is what most dating situations is Is like you hope it evolves into something more . Most people Now I'm not going to say that there's not people out there that are just looking for a casual hookup .

I've had this conversation and this debate with my guy friends , steven and pop . They've been on the podcast . I still , to this day , like I just don't understand . Maybe that's because my brain doesn't wrap around that , but when I'm dating , when I'm intentionally dating , I'm dating for a relationship or to really dive in and get to know someone .

I'm not going on dates to hook up . I'm not . That's just not who I am and I get that . That the and I'm not saying anyone's wrong If you just want to go on dates to hook up , but be upfront about it Now . Are you going to hook up ? Less Probably so , because most women want something a little more serious than casual . And I'm not saying all women .

There are some women out there that looking that just want casual too . So anyways . So let's dive on into the recap

. We will start with Chelsea and Jimmy , first , with a sprinkle of Jessica , and why I say a sprinkle of Jessica is because Chelsea , jimmy and Jessica were kind of like all in this love triangle . Jessica was right or die for Jimmy , like and if y'all don't know , jessica , she is a smoke show . She is so gorgeous and so down to earth .

Like to see someone who is gorgeous and down to earth , hard to find , like seriously model esque , like almost was like how are you having any trouble finding men ? But people have trouble , I guess .

But Chelsea was then torn between Jimmy and Trevor but ultimately chose Jimmy in the end and a lot of people gave her shit at the beginning like such a cry too much and that she was too emotional .

I just saw someone that was emotional and like wanted to just express her emotions and I didn't think anything was wrong with that and it could have been the edits , like when she got out of the pods .

That's when I saw the more emotional , like kind of hot , cold situation happening and I was like OK , yeah , but that's when I also noticed after the pods , like , and if you don't know what the pod is , if you've never listened to like , you start out in the pods with the wall between you . You can't see them until someone till the man proposes .

Once the man proposes , you then can see each other and then you go on like a little getaway to get to know each other a little better and then you come home to real life and then in real life you do everything that you would normally do you go to work , you do all these things , you move in together . So it's kind of like a very sped up , like .

Like , what you would normally do in six months to a year you are doing in four to six weeks . So , yes , very intimidating , but you're going on that show knowing this . It's not like it's unknown , anyways . So after the pods , when Jimmy saw Chelsea , to me personally I felt like he acted differently .

I don't know about y'all , but I feel like he was stretching to prove he was attracted to her . Maybe he was and the edits were off , but I was just not feeling or seeing the chemistry between the two . He at one point called her clingy , like when they were in the real life part where they were living together , which I mean hello in the new relationship .

Like you're in a new relationship , you should want to spend time together to get to know each other , especially if you're trying to decide if you want to marry this person , like if you're going to say yes at the altar . Unless you already know that you're going to say no , then I guess you would call someone clingy .

But that new , exciting part of a relationship is called the honeymoon phase for a reason . In this phase Most people want to be up each other's ass because it's new and exciting . And then that like slowly dwindles off where you're like , get on your side of the bed , get away from me .

Ultimately they did part ways and he did it before the altar to say person embarrassment . So I do commend him on that for doing that . But like he should have ended it way sooner , like we could all tell it just wasn't going to work out , so why not just end it there ? But I will say Jessica had the best of all time .

Best of all time , like probably in TV history , how she ended that with him . Because like now now we didn't know like their whole conversations and their whole storyline because of the way it's edited the time down .

But then at the reunion they showed receipts of how long they talked , like how the things that Jimmy was saying to her , and she did hone in on him and didn't choose anyone else . Like she was like you ruined my chance at this , but by her at the end , when she told him that he would choke and would need an EpiPen . When he saw her I died .

I was like , oh my God , that is literally the best line . Like no one can reuse it because she obviously used it . But anyway , she's hot as hell , she's a smoke show . Just go , look her up and you'll see what I'm talking about . When she said that in season six , I mean I don't really have anything personally to throw in in this situation .

I've never been in a love triangle Like I've never had . I've never been like forced to choose either between two guys or a guy choosing between two girls or maybe I haven't , I just didn't know it .

Anyways , when we went to Jessica and Kenneth , they were one of the cutest couples guys that they communicated so well and I honestly hated to see it end with them because they had so much in common and I just felt like their communication skills with each other were on point , like you could see that these two people were ready for a relationship .

They went in like we're going to do the damn thing , I'm going to try this and see where it goes . But then when Jessica started crying when they ended it , I cried for her Like that's how invested I got in their relationship . I started crying for her because I knew that she what she was feeling .

She really fell in love with that man and he just wasn't on the same page , like when they were on the same page when they were in the pods , but then when they come out to the real world .

It just seemed like reality hit him and he had all these questions and it seemed like he was battling inner conflict within himself and ultimately just decided to part ways . He's a hard one to read at the end when it comes to what inner battles he was struggling with .

There's , you know , obviously , conspiracy theories out there , but I don't like to dive into conspiracy theories because who knows what he was going through in inner battles Like ?

I do believe that people go through inner battles and maybe you are , you know , wanting this so badly , but you haven't dealt with something internal first and you have to be a whole person before you can go try to commit to someone else . But they are now friends per the reunion and they both handled everything with grace .

She has been nothing but such a sweetheart and so is he . I truly do think that their communication skills everyone could take a page from their book . But I have myself been in a situation like this where I had really cared for the person and it seemed they cared too , but ultimately we weren't on the same page at the same time .

You know , that's that old saying right Like some people say , right person , wrong time . But I heard something literally a week ago that was like how can it be the right person but wrong time ? Because if they are the right person , then there is nothing , there's no such thing as wrong time . And I'm still kind of processing that in my mind .

I'm like , well , that does make sense , I believe . I think I believe in both a little bit , because I find both to be true somewhat . I do believe that two people can genuinely care for each other , but the timing just be flawed .

But maybe just one , just like , for instance , maybe one just recently got divorced and isn't ready to jump back into a serious , committed relationship and maybe they met this person when it was , like , least expected to them and they have a commitment , fear or what if it was two people that genuinely cared about each other and maybe they just met and one took a

job 100 miles away but they just met .

But then , if you look at it from the other scenario , where it's like there's no , no such thing as wrong timing and play the devil's advocate , maybe that job that they took , you know , they would just end up if it was the right person , they would just do a long distance relationship because that spark was so strong and it was the right person , that wouldn't

be the wrong time . Or that person who had just gotten a divorce and fear . Commitment would overcome that fear and be like you know what . I don't want to lose this person . I really care about them . So I don't know .

I can definitely say both sides and I'm not helping the situation by sitting here playing back and forth , but this is literally how my brain works . I will be like I don't know . I can see that point of view too . That makes total sense . But but this point of view makes sense too .

So it's that number one is why I can't make decisions and why I feel like I'm so passive , sometimes in my personal life , not my professional life . But I guess it all comes down to the scenario at the end of the day and what we all want to tell ourselves to feel good in that moment .

Maybe you know like , maybe we're telling ourselves oh , they are the right person , it's just the wrong time to make ourselves feel better about the situation . Or maybe we're one of these people that's like nope , there's no such thing . If they wanted it , they would . If you want .

You know that old saying like if he wanted to , he would , or she wanted to , she would . They would make time if they wanted to follow this therapist .

That's so unconventional on Instagram , therapy Jeff , and he posted , literally like two days ago I think , where he said he hates that saying , because sometimes there are situations where people can't like whether it be fear , they're working on themselves , their therapy and they're just not there yet and giving grace and understanding that .

So I was like , yes , I love therapist Jeff . He is so unconventional , sparks a lot of debates between me and my friends , but I love it . Um , the next one . Let's just move on to the next one Laura , jeremy and Sarah .

And so another Love triangle that we have Jeremy chose Laura , ultimate , so Laura and Jeremy chose each other , and so Jeremy did not choose Sarah , and so , by Jeremy choosing Laura , that says that he wants to be committed to her .

But then one night , like when they were back in the real life , everything always happens when they get back in real life , right , like you go on this vacation together , or there's no outside world , you don't have your phones , you don't have anything .

So then , when you get back in the real world quote unquote with your phones and everything , things start hitting different . Um , but when they get back home , sarah and decided to DM Jeremy to let him know that if things didn't work out in the real world with Laura , that she was still interested .

Okay , so on one point , I get what she was doing or saying , because this was an experiment . If you will side unseen , are you really going to get married in six weeks ?

I mean six weeks is a very short time , but I think that she did handle it completely wrong , like if it were me in this situation and I were still interested in a guy like , and it sucks to lose , you know you go home , then maybe just wait and see if they go through with the marriage I mean it's six weeks .

See if they walk down the aisle , if they say no to each other , they part their ways . Maybe then slide in the DMs . I mean , I can't say for sure because honestly I'm shy when it comes to those things . I'm not a slide in the DM type person . So if you're out there , you're going to have to do , you're going to have to do the DM and stop my thing .

But I do think that she jumped the gun and planted a seed in his head . But if we're playing devil's advocate here . If his feelings were truly strong for Laura , no one would have been able to plan a seed Like like . He would have been like nah , I'm not interested in you , there ain't no seed to be had here .

Therefore , the relationship , in my opinion , was going to end anyways , because when things like that happened , like it was going to happen anyways . Let's be honest In this day and age of social media , everyone , everyone , everyone , everyone , everyone . Everyone's significant other , girl , boy , whatever , is getting DMed .

I don't care what you look like , you're getting a DM . It's , honestly , so much easier than ever now to cheat and there's so much temptation out there . I do think that's why a lot of people don't want to get in a committed relationship , because there's just you're just waiting . Like well , she's hot . Oh well , she's hot , he's hot , he .

You know well what about this ? You know like . I posted this on my social media . Social media is just that social media . It's a highlight reel . The grass is not always greener on the other side and the real flex is being able to abstain and knowing what you have at home , like if you're genuinely happy , like if you're not unhappy .

Why are you looking like just turn it off . Like , look at it , be like , okay , cool that you know not talking about whatever , but move on , not not talking about , I'm just saying like you can look at it as a compliment and just be like , okay , whatever , I do get that .

People are curious by nature but at the end of the day , it ultimately comes down to what you want and what you're ready for . And if you're not ready for a commitment , maybe don't go on a national TV show that just ends in that's supposed to end in marriage .

Just some thoughts , you know , I know , in the real world , like without the TV and the lights and you're not getting famous and stuff like that . This happens all day , every day , but I think it was just handled poorly . Again , just my opinion .

Next we have Johnny and Amy , our true love match guys , two genuine people that went on the show looking for love and found it . The only bad thing that I have to say was what the hell was Johnny thinking about ? Asking her to go get on birth control , like the birth control pills ?

When he was like , like have you heard of condoms and natural cycles and the pullout method ? Johnny , like , maybe the editing was bad , I don't know . I mean it's really hard for me to think that he's a 27 year old man , never heard of birth control or know what it does to a woman's body , like I know there are still men .

I've had a man ask me like well , just get on birth control . Like it's not that easy . I've been on birth control , erect , have it on my body . Personal opinion . I think that's why we have all these infertility issues . Now that's a whole other podcast .

But synthetic hormones are not the same as your own hormones and when you survey man , like they are developing a man's birth control . But if you survey man where they're like , so we can put an implant in your arm , but your testosterone is going to go down to zero and you might grow , you might gain weight and you can't grow muscle .

A man's going to immediately say no or you're going to have erectile dysfunction . If you take this pill , because it really does suppress your natural hormones and you may just not , you may just not be in the mood anymore . But you know what's funny ? They don't even tell women the side effects like this .

You have to do your own research when the side effects are happening to you . So that is a whole other topic . We can do a whole hormone birth control with Adrian . I just thought that was crazy . But he ultimately did his research , they figured it out . So go for them because they really truly are a genuinely happy couple .

So I'm rooting for Johnny and Amy . The last but not least , we have AD and Clay . This had to be my favorite couple to watch , along with the rest of America , I would have to assume . Ad is just this infectious , authentic , genuine soul Like you can tell , like that's who she truly is .

Not to mention , she is banging , like her body is banging , like she'd be putting in work and she talks about it Like she tells Clay , like I'd be putting in work , I'm at the gym , I ain't good Like . And she kept it real with everyone , like she was herself through and through , and I think that's just what drew you to her .

You could tell the authenticity was there . She was not trying to get clout or anything like that . You could tell from the pods that Clay was a fuckboy . Like you could just tell . And I know that sometimes we , when we like someone , we know something but we choose to ignore it . We just want to see like that , one thing that you can hold on to .

But I do love that she kept it real with him a hundred percent of the time and I loved how she always called him out , like if he started raising his voice or the tone she would be like , excuse me , I love that . That just screams respect for myself .

I value myself , I know what I bring to the table and I think the reason why I'm so drawn to her personality is because that's who I would love to strive to be . I like to have that true , like respected value . And that comes with confidence . And I've mentioned multiple times on this podcast , I'm not the most confident person . I'm working on it .

But and I'm not even talking about just looks , I'm talking about just valuing who you are and sticking with it , not being wishy-washy , not going back on your word . But again , we have a man here that wasn't ready for a commitment and he kept saying that multiple times when he was in the pods that he wasn't sure about marriage .

He was afraid he would cheat because his father did that . He was an athlete that you know . They're not taught things like that because women just come easy to them . But then , on the other hand , he kept telling her that she was making him think differently and he did ultimately want a family and marriage .

So as the viewer , you're just like , you can understand . But you also see that fuck boy side which she saw it . But she really did care for him . She grew to love him in these pods and she wanted to marry him .

And sometimes we as women , men , men do the same thing , like we want to see what we want to see right , we don't see what's truly in front of us because that smoke and mirrors up . We hold on to that hope that we're going to get the ending that we want . We women , we like to , we like a man .

Sometimes we throw the truth of what they're saying out the window and hold on to that little hope , like I was saying and that's really just called bread crumbing these days because we want to be with them . And I'm not saying that that just happens between you know , a woman I mean , roles can be reversed too .

But AD held her own and at the end , when they got to the altar and he said he didn't want to marry her , which honestly shocked , because up until the altar he acted like he was going to , but she walked away like she said she would .

She said she would not date him afterwards because she did this experiment to follow through with it , to get married , because that is what she wants . Did it break her heart ? Hell , yeah , it did . She cried . You could tell she was , you know , very saddened by it .

But , like I said at the beginning , she knew her value and her worth and she walked away with her , held , held high , knowing that she put everything she could into that man . Now he now , at the reunion , said that he was trying to get her back because he knows what value she holds and likely will never find another woman in his life like that .

Will he find love again ? Sure , but will he find AD's love the way she loved him ? I don't think so . I don't think so . And looking back at my past relationships or situationships or dating situations , whatever you want to call them that's something that I think I wish I would have done better .

Like I said , I think when I look at her and just like gravitated toward her spirit was just , I wish I would have done that in certain situations . I wish I would have walked away , even when it's hard , even when you care so much for someone and it's clear that you're on two different wavelengths .

Like I wish I could have walked away in situations knowing that I did everything I could .

Like not , don't do the begging , don't don't sit there and try to get someone to change their mind , because ultimately , people want what they want and they know what they're going to do and , at the end of the day , you should just let them do what they're going to do and respect yourself , value yourself , know your worth , because I truly do think that that

is what ultimately draws people to you Like I'm I am I am an odd AD Like I am drawn to her , and I think it's just because of the confidence that she portrays as a woman and puts it out there for the universe and hold her own . Which brings me into another topic that a friend and I had to debate about not long ago .

I think we both had great thoughts on it . She , I've walked away with a different perspective . She walked away with a different perspective , but we were discussing , like this whole thing of quote unquote matching energy versus telling someone how you feel , like why not just sit down and tell someone how you feel ? Versus like trying to match their energy .

And what I'm talking about is like if someone's ignoring you . Well , I'm going to ignore them and I'm not going to text them back until they text me , because I'm matching their energy , like , why do we do that ? And I think AD told Clay how she felt and then walked away Like I truly don't think , like I don't , she ain't playing this whole .

Let me match her energy . Bullshit , because it's just . That is a bullshit To me . I'm grown . I don't need to ignore you because you're ignoring me so that you can then turn around and chase me back . That's not matching energy , that's actually manipulation . It's manipulating the situation . I mean , I get it .

I do if you're out there and you're sitting here , like rolling your eyes , like . I

get that . There are sometimes where you have to match certain energies , but I'm talking about like , on a dating basis . Like we're doing this all the time . Sometimes we we know it's just we try to change a behavior to get a different response .

But when we truly sit down and think about that , can you sustain that new behavior If that's not who you are at your core ?

Like , can you sustain , like , if you're a person who loves to communicate or maybe you communicate a little bit too much on end , like me , I communicate about everything , because my my you can see in this podcast it just goes around and around and around . If I'm not the type of person that likes to ignore people , I'm just not . Like I don't care .

If we're in a knockout , dry out fight and you text me about something , I'm not going to ignore you . It's not just men , it's like women , friends , family . I am not going to ignore you . That is not who I am .

There's obviously stuff that I'm working through about the ignoring thing that happened in my childhood , like being ignored as a child or things like that . Like it's just not in my nature . I hate it . It's one of those like , it's one of those core . I just hate it Anyways .

So if I'm having to change my behavior to get someone to do something that I want , or you or whatever , how long can I or you keep that up ? I think we're playing ourselves , telling ourselves it's okay because we get on TikTok , instagram or their internet looking for answers . Why do they act this way ? When will they come back ?

How long do I have to ignore them ? How long do I have to match this energy ? We should be looking inward , asking ourselves these questions . Would I want a relationship with this person . If this behavior never changed , can we communicate our true feelings to each other and listen , and communicate with respect , and listen to understand the other person ?

And sure , it's easy to say this on a podcast versus being in the real world when feelings are intermingled . That's why I said it's hard to talk about relationships , because I may say this on the podcast and y'all may be out here catching me doing a different thing and be like Janna , that's not what you said on the podcast .

Because it's easier to give advice than to take it . And but , with all this being said , like I really do think that everyone's perspective , like whether it be about the matching inner energies or whatever it is like , everyone does something because of who they are or their experiences that they've been through .

Some people , all of us , could benefit from therapy to figure out why we do the things that we do , and I think that would help communication . Cause , like I said , with scenarios like where rot person , wrong timing , is that truly a thing ? I don't know , I don't know .

I like I will go around and around about it in my head , but , depending on what I've been through in my life , you could . You could have an argument for either side . Just like me and my friend debated about matching energies .

She's been through a whole different experience than I have , and so we could you could argue at either side and that goes back to what Jay Shetty said . Like what I said earlier , there's no right or wrong . Like I could match her energy and then I could the next day go . You know , that was probably a poor , that was probably a poor choice .

How , how do I handle it now ? That's the true , that's the true Reward of it . All right , but anyways , with all that being said , I really did enjoy the season of love is blind , in all honesty .

It made me take a look at what I have been wanting in a relationship versus what I have been saying that I want , or Do I even want a relationship , or how do I go about this ? It does make you , when you're watching these things and you're seeing people play out certain scenarios , you're like how would I handle this ?

You know , jury's still out , I don't know . We all think that we would handle things a certain way until we're put in the situation and then all hell breaks loose , right ? I do think that we all grow and evolve over time .

Not sure anyone person truly knows a hundred percent exactly what they want or maybe you do , and I'm trying to make myself feel better , but I think that's where .

I think that's why there's a lot of divorce or a lot of men and women having open casual relationships , because it's hard work to grow and evolve alone , like think about yourself just growing , involving alone as a human being , that other Person's doing the same thing . But it's even harder work to grow and evolve with someone else that's .

Think about over the course of your life , how much you have changed and evolved with ever , every instance heartbreak , laugh , discussion , work , life Situations , dating situations , everything in your life . You have grown past . It's a new day . Think about how much you've had to go through with your trial and tribulations .

Now Think about someone else doing that they're doing over there , doing the same type of growing and evolving , and then two people come together and try to grow and evolve their relationship while you're still growing and evolving independently . Well , some people don't ever grow and evolve , but that's a whole other topic in itself as well .

That is a lot of work . It is a lot of work and it's hard and not coming from the person that's never been in a relationship . Well , I mean , I say that I I've been into , I'm gonna I'm gonna classify myself as being into that Really worked hard at and gave my all to , and no one can ever say that I didn't get my all to that .

But I think that it can be a very beautiful thing if two people get it right , like if two people are on the same page , they're wanting the same thing and they work really hard at it .

And another thing that Jay Shetty says is like you really truly do have to wake up every single day and say do I still want this , do I still want this , and communicate that ?

And just even though sometimes communicating things is hard and maybe you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings or I don't know , you don't want to say things , I don't know , it is hard sometimes we don't want to hurt people , but sometimes not saying things hurts them worse in the long run because we Hide how we truly feel , we don't communicate what

we're we really mean to communicate , and then the person Falls deeper or more in love with someone and then they get hurt in the end anyways . But it was gonna happen anyways , because I truly do believe you end up in the same spot you are meant to be in . There is no perfect relationship out there .

I feel like you have to just try to figure out what works for you and , if you and your partner are okay with it , fuck what everyone else says , because you do you boo . You just have to stay in it and find another day , because the alternative is being without the other person , when you're not doing what y'all Want to do together .

Again , just one person's opinion who has never been in what you would consider a long-term committed relationship . So take what you will out of this as just advice . That's all it is . It's not telling you to do anything . It's not telling you to go out here and break up with someone . It's just saying , like , take , take a look inward , look in .

Are you happy with what you're doing ? Can you lay your head down on your pillow at night and feel comfortable with what you're doing ? And if you can , great . If not , go to therapy . Go to therapy . Anyways , if you can , I think it helps . And and anyways , I'll end it right there until next time . Guys , as always , thank you for listening . Bye you . You .