Welcome back to Authentic On Air. This is season three and I'm your host, Bruce Alexander. Things are gonna be a little bit different, a little bit of the same as we move forward into this third season of Authentic On Air. I considered really just completely overhauling the entire game, changing the name, going with fonts and different cover art and all that stuff and what I realized is that it doesn't matter.
I just want to focus on putting out good quality content and trying to reach ADHD entrepreneurs, ADHD parents, ADHD adults, and help them with information I've learned to live fuller, more purposeful lives. And me focusing on spending a bunch of time on the brand of a podcast that nobody really listens to is not gonna help do that. Moving forward, I'm not even going to make cover art per week. I'm just going to whatever we might pick that back up later on down the road.
So today on this first episode for the next four weeks, we're going to cover what I'm currently focusing on my coaching product. My sorry over the next eight weeks, we're going to cover what I'm going over on my 30 day coaching program right now, which is overcoming the all or nothing mindset. And I really want to go over this because I think it's a really important topic that a lot of don't really realize how insidious it is.
For me, I found that the all or nothing mindset had kind of crept its way into all the different aspects of my life, my body, my being, my balance, my business, all of it without me having any idea that I was even an all or nothing thinker.
Some ways that it showed up were perfectionism, procrastination, feeling like if I didn't have all the right stuff or if I didn't have the exact presentation I wanted that I couldn't move forward and it made it really hard for me to make any Capturable progress in my business on my body with in my relationships like all of these things were being affected strongly by this are nothing mindset and once I identified it, it's something that I've gone really hard into overcoming and that I
really poured a lot of energy into creating something that I believe and Not only believe I know is helping others come that mindset as well. I've gotten a lot of positive feedback with this program. I've, you know, I ran somebody through it and she had a lot of really great things to say and I'm looking forward to running more people through it. first thing we'll do our core four check in. So my body, I've continued to lose weight. I'm the healthiest I've been in the, you know, over a year.
I'm really excited about that. The weight is still coming off. The walks have gotten way longer. I'm, you know, putting in a couple to three miles a day and that's really exciting. I still have a lot of like really whiny aches and pains but I just push through that crap and do my best to not walk like an old person through the day.
My balance, things with Kate have been you know really great at times but we have still been out on this journey trying to find our place in the East Coast and we finally have a place signed to start leasing September 1st but it has been a stressful time which is gonna put a lot of stress in our relationship but in in this this time of newness, we have found a way to stop becoming oppositional in those situations.
And we really focused on coming together through our stressful times and finding ways to connect versus turn on each other. And it's been really positive. yeah, the deepness and the depth in our relationship continues to grow even, you know, after being married so long.
So, I mean, not so long comparatively, but for us, it seems like it's know it's it's happened fast so we got married in 2009 and is now 2024 so that's 15 years we've been married and that's that's crazy that's wild so anyways but it keeps getting better and that's really exciting so my being. Right now, I feel like I'm really trying hard to stay on top of my active journaling or my stacking, doing my routine. Like I do my routine every day.
I take care of myself, but it's not really, it doesn't get me fired up like it once did. I'm not feeling as in touch with God as I was a couple of months ago. And that's, you know, it's a little bit of a struggle, but I know that it's important to stay engaged in those habits because if I move away from them, it's only going to move me farther from that relationship.
So I'm staying focused on, you know, Keeping the toxic thoughts out and trying to like stick in those habits so I can find that connection again So that's and I think that's really important and then finally business the business is you know, it is There's always a pit right as you know, I do two or three things that I'm really excited about and I feel like
really getting traction and starting to really understand what drives my avatar and is really gonna put me over the edge and then it doesn't happen. Then I don't get that the flood of calls doesn't come in, I don't have all the leads I want, I don't have all the paying clients I need and so it gets, it's easy to get down. But having fought to overcome the are nothing mentality so hard. I understand that is an ebb and flow.
are going to be times where there are going to be a lot of great things being produced without seeing the result immediately. There's a thing called lag time in which you can be doing all the right things, hitting all the, you know, the check marks on the list to be on your way to success. But sometimes it just takes a to change direction for your momentum. So it doesn't mean I need to quit, it just means I just need to keep doing the things and showing up.
anyways, on the first week of this All or Nothing destroying, I'm sorry, this All or Nothing belief destroying program, we talk about why ADHD matters. Like why is this? Why is ADHD specifically brought into this conversation? And I think it's so important to recognize that there are so many coaching programs out there, so many self -help books, so many YouTube videos that work for I think that it is really important to understand that you are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you.
You may have tried something that didn't work because it wasn't built for you. And that's really, really important to understand is that you can see progress and growth if you understand a couple of key things. The number one key thing I see is that there is a constant battle in the ADHD mind. And that battle is in between our inner critic and our inner voice.
It's like we always have this voice inside of us telling us the different ways that we are going to fail, the different ways that we won't succeed, the different way, like all the different ways to say that we suck. Like it's going on all the time and it is a constant battle to not listen to that. That is not something that neurotypicals have.
Most neurotypicals that haven't been subjected to extreme trauma don't have an internal dialogue telling them why not to do things that'll make them successful. That's not a question. It's not something that they have to deal with. So those programs that just say, just get a planner and start doing the things that are gonna help you and then you're gonna win. That works for them because they don't have to overcome that inner critic. We also have to, so we have to deal with the inner critic.
There's our inner voice, which is trying to guide us to something of higher purpose, trying to guide us to our passions in life. And we feel that really strongly, but it's the inner critic is telling us how stupid that stuff is. And then we've got the status quo, which is built for neurotypicals, which does not align. with the inner voice. So there's all these things battling at the same time.
And if you don't understand that that is happening in your mind whenever you're trying to grow and you are then the growth phase intensifies this battle. It just adds more fuel to the fire because you're trying to push back against the status quo. You're trying to push back against the inner critic and it pisses them both off in your mind and it makes this inflamed mess in your brain just really pop off.
And if you are ready for that, you understand it, you see it coming, you understand what's happening, you have a chance. But if you have tried to do any other program that doesn't alert you that your brain is different, you're going to see some different reactions as you go through this process, then you are likely going to struggle. That's it. You're just going to struggle because of that inner critic is. It is doubly traumatizing you with every failure a neurodivergent has.
We have the initial failure and then we have an exponential number of failures in which we relive it the inner critic telling us over and over again how we messed it up and how we're gonna keep messing it up and how we're gonna do this again in the future and how when there's a similar situation in the future it's gonna draw from this experience instead of any one of other a million experiences that can prove opposite that you could succeed.
that is, I'm not gonna say it's uniquely an ADHD thing, but it is. inherently ADHD to have that inner critic running in your mind and trying to like Trying to destroy you It can be silent. I'm not gonna say it can be sounds you're never gonna science your inner critic, but you can quiet the inner critic by learning to Filter that information with a grain of salt your inner critic had it does have a lot of Valid information but it doesn't mean that you have to listen to it.
Because whether you believe you're gonna succeed or whether you believe you're gonna fail, you're right. So if you choose to listen to the inner critic, then it's gonna be right a lot of the time. But if you choose not to, if you choose to listen to your inner voice, which is trying to drive you to more, then you can achieve more.
So I don't wanna go too deep into this program today, but that's just from the first session we talked about that that battle between those three things that are going on in your mind all the time as an ADHD person period, but as an ADHD entrepreneur, this is especially important because once again, it's not so much as just taking the business advice and putting it to action.
It is taking the business advice and then filtering it through these three different processes before you're able to take any action. And if you have not identified which one of those processes or which one of those voices is talking at the moment, you don't know if you're getting good advice or bad and if you're putting bad advice into action or not. start trying to like just, this is a good time for journaling.
Start trying to, when you have like really strong passionate thoughts, write them down and then start to ask questions of it. this serve me or does this enslave me? If you can ask those two simple, that one simple question, You can separate if it's an inner critic thought, because it will enslave you. If it serves you, it is your inner voice. That's a simple, like just keep it simple. That's the simplest way to just filter that out.
And I think that's a really great homework assignment is just take 10 deep thoughts this week, like 10 strong emotions and say, does this serve me or does this enslave me? If you do that, you can start to identify which one of your voices is talking the most? Which one have you been listening to?
And then once you... can identify who's providing those thoughts, you can say, these are not the kind of thoughts I want to empower if it's coming from your inner critic, and you can stop giving energy to those. Because that's all belief is, is an idea and emotion that energy is poured into. So you stop pouring energy into it, and those beliefs stop becoming formed in your mind, and you start to think alternatively. And that's where your new powerful thought processes come from.
So I think that's a good place to stop. If you want to just Skip to the end and get like a an excerpt of this I did a mini course that has got You know some of the most powerful chunks of this program just print out a little mini course so you can just Go at your own pace and start to work through overcoming that all -or -nothing mindset It is a really great jumping off point for you to do all by yourself.
It is extremely powerful and I think that if you really put the invest time and effort into it you can a huge dent in overcoming this mindset all by yourself. So if this is helpful, if you like this new format, if you like talking about this type of stuff, I would love for you to rate the episode and leave a review. That would be super helpful for me.
And make sure to follow me at TheRealCoachBruce on Instagram and YouTube and still at Impulse of Bruce on Facebook because I can't even rather change my Facebook name. Anyways, that's it for today. I will be back doing weekly episodes. Excited to be back in the mix. And I hope you all have a fantastic week. I will talk to you next week.