Hello and welcome back to Authentic On Air with Bruce Alexander. I am your host, Coach Bruce Alexander. If you don't know this yet, I'm a life coach for ADHD parents and I'm trying to shift this show more towards the service of those ADHD parents. And I think it's really important to note that nobody listens to this show anyways. So it doesn't really matter who I'm talking to because nobody's listening. So I can do whatever I want.
Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed doing this show because I'm doing so many other things trying to build a business. I forget that I can do whatever I want here and it's going to be a little or no consequence because whenever it does finally find its audience, they are going to be exactly who wants to hear what I'm putting on. So just be you, Bruce, just do you brother. And it's going to catch on eventually. So today I want to talk about.
Thinking small. For ADHD people, I think that this is a really important, a really important idea, ideology that kind of applies in multiple ways. And I'm going to get into that after a short intro. So what I've been doing lately is I've been introducing the different, the four domains of dominion that we are given as human beings by God. And those are the things that we are supposed to. take care of in order to like really kind of find purpose in this life.
And I've been doing this, you know, this this warrior's way thing for a while this morning routine, this trying to like design my my day to design my life. And it's been really working well for me. But there was a piece that I was missing because like as much as I've been bringing God into my life and having conversations with God, I didn't realize that part of this. Sorry, part of this routine I was doing was about stewardship.
It was about showing that across all four domains, body being balance and business, I am taking the the dominion God has given me and I'm I'm taking it seriously and I'm being a steward of that to to bring it to the highest possible level I can bring it like I am doing whatever I can to to have it all and to be at all across all four domains. So I also like to report. you know how things are going across those four domains of body being balance business. So let's start with body.
this week has been a really great week as far as really taking note of how far I've come from a month and a half to two months ago where my walk started as to the end of the street or just around the corner.
now I'm walking a considerable distance for me and I'm taking, you know, hikes that are kind of off the beaten path to get my kids to places where before I wouldn't have taken a chance to do because I was afraid of getting injured further or I was afraid I wouldn't be able to make it back because I was so out of shape. The shape is coming like the current physical shape is still round. Like don't get me wrong.
I still have a bunch of weight that I want to lose to to be a more fit father to be more active. But the activity is coming much faster than it ever felt like it could have two months ago. Two months ago, I thought I was never going to be active, like truly active again, that there was just always going to be pain and everything that I did. And that is no longer the case. And it is all thankful to doing the small things well. And we'll talk about that some more later.
So that's my body, my being, my relationship with God has, has really been opening up for me. I stack every single day. I meditate every single day and in those times in that being still and allowing myself to be open for messages to come and then stacking my emotions processing through the situations I find myself in to to find revelation has been really, really just eye opening for me.
There is so many lessons that God gives us to learn every single day that I had been missing out on because I didn't process my emotions. I just suppressed everything and pretended like I was always okay. when I was never okay. And as soon as I started to tell the truth about what I was feeling, you know, even just to myself and my stack, I started to see a massive growth in my relationship with God and my ability to show up for myself. And so that is, that's awesome.
Like things are going really well. Balance. I'm out here on this, you know, this Odyssey across the country with my wife and my kids and In this journey, we are finding deeper connection than we've ever had. I'm getting along with my kids in a really like fun and awesome way. And there's so much like they're getting along better together. Kate's getting along better with the kids. Kate and I have started to have the hard conversations.
Well, there's there's so much less arguing and so much more solution finding. Of course, we still argue like we're not perfect. We still have, you know, room to grow for sure, but things are moving so well. And I think the most important thing to note is, I don't think that Kate has changed very much. I think that Kate has been allowed to breathe and heal because I've stopped being so overbearing.
I've started taking care of my mental, my mental trash and started to detoxify who I am as a person. And it's allowed her to show up different in our relationship. And I was talking to a client yesterday and he was talking about how his wife approaches him and how I'm sorry, this is a potential client. Sorry, I have not signed this person yet, but it was a consultation and he's talking about how his wife, you know, kind of is aggressive towards him.
And I asked him, like, do you have that self -critic in your mind that maybe is adding a layer of, of judgment to the words that are coming out of her mouth? And he immediately knew what I was talking about. He immediately said, yeah, that inner critic is going all the time.
And that's something that I was experiencing too, is that I was hearing the words that she was saying as an attack when a lot of the times there was just a conversation to be had, but I was too afraid to take responsibility for my part in it. So I just automatically saw it as an attack. And that's, that's a way that, you know, just by processing my emotions through stacking and learning how to be a man and to face the truth of the situation.
I've stopped arguing so much because when it's true, it's true. And if sometimes I'm the problem and that's the truth, if I'm doing something wrong, I just own that now and I just make a commitment to try and do better. So that's been really good. And it's been really fun to just like kind of like my wife again and kind of feel free to data because there's so much less expectation around everything that we do. And yeah, it's been great.
our next move as a family is to go see the ocean on the East Coast, which we've never done. Rory, my youngest, has never seen the ocean. And my other children were too young to really remember what it was like when we went to Galveston. So I'm really excited for them to see the ocean for the first real time that they'll really remember. And I think that that's part of what this journey is supposed to be, is to have experiences.
that otherwise we never would have done because we would have, we were just, we were trapped in Oklahoma. We were trapped by our stories. We were trapped by our inner inaction and our paralysis. And Oklahoma was like kind of, kind of indicative of that for us and just escaping the physical boundaries of Oklahoma has kind of allowed us to escape those stories. And now we're doing things that are really exciting as a family.
And lastly, my business, my business is the thing that has been struggling the most because. I like, I'm really comfortable being uncomfortable in the, you know, in the physical aspect, pushing my body hard. I've been pretty comfortable getting uncomfortable and like having conversations about bringing God into my family.
And I've been, you know, regularly doing that, trying to add more prayer with my wife and you know, it's, it makes me feel super awkward, but it's, I know, like I understand that discomfort I'm willing to push into it and my business I've been lacking. I've been afraid to do the things that I know are going to create movement for my business because they are uncomfortable. And I'm afraid that I might fail. I'm afraid that I won't succeed. And so I'm afraid to, to push through that discomfort.
Like at least I was, I took some action today. I put some money into an ad campaign to try to get six new clients into a group, a group coaching, like small group coaching to try to get more impact with people for a lower cost and just try to. really get more people involved in this process so I can just, I can just help more people.
Like that's, that's my calling is I'm just trying to get my hands in more pies to try to make more of an effect for a lower cost for the people who, you know, maybe can't pay for a full -time coach. So that's what's happening in business and things are, you know, they're, they're trending up. I just have to continue on the action that I've laid forth and just do it. So that is. The update that's the, my body being balance business.
Those are the things, the four domains that we have control over and that we are, that I encourage you to take special pride in trying to grow in those areas. And then that is how you work towards the have it all lifestyle. And that's what I'm working towards as well. So I wanted to talk about thinking small today because there was a couple of phrases that kind of came into my mind that I think that.
don't commonly really fit the ADHD persona because we really like to like kind of latch onto delusions of grandeur and do big things and have these big picture moments. And what I've what I noticed for me, especially as I had this big picture of retiring after 22 years as a firefighter and then being then finally being able to go do the things I wanted to do with my family to do what we're doing right now. But in that big picture, I had no idea what the small picture looked like.
I didn't know what my life was supposed to look like day to day. I had no idea. So I encourage you think small and work towards the big. Think about what you want your day to day life to look like and then try to figure out how you do that on a grander scale. For me it is I want to work from home. I want to be around my family more. I want to help people and coaching is then the result that I found from that is like, what skills do I have? How can I help people?
What do people around me say that I'm good at solving problems, having hard conversations and coaching kind of really made sense. And I love doing it. And it allows me to have that day to day, that small picture that is, you know, when I put all these small pictures together, it's like a puzzle that paints a really beautiful big picture. but it's because I started focusing small that I'm able to to get there now. So the big picture is not so important if your small picture is shit.
So maybe you start looking at your small picture first. Secondly, take small actions to get big results. This is something that I've seen really take effect. Like I was talking about earlier in my body is I just committed myself. to taking a walk every day, to moving my body every single day. And whenever I started doing this, it felt so pointless because it hurts so bad to walk, you know, 50 yards. It was miserable, but it felt like such a small action that was not gonna make a difference.
But that small action has allowed me to start being the father that I desire to be again. It's allowed me to stop being the weight around our family that doesn't allow us to do A, B or C because dad can't. And that to me is like, that was one small action to just move my body every day, to walk every day, to just make an effort every day. And sometimes that effort was so small, but I never missed a day.
And today I am, dude, I'm like 200 % better than where I was, but still like 600 % from where I need to be. But I'm really happy in this moment that I found that growth because I committed to small actions that repeated over and over have given me big results. And if I continue to repeat them over and do them well, they will continue to produce bigger and bigger results. So small actions to produce big results. I hope that makes sense. Finally, think small, act big.
So that's kind of the reverse of the last one. You're, you're, Not really. So I'm talking about. Because I was, you know, yes, the act big kind of goes against the small actions, but not really. This is about planning. This is about taking things on a smaller level and realizing that like I talked about earlier, if you plan your day, if you plan your morning, if you plan the first hour, then everything else is easier to put into place.
So the first hour and a half of my day is very regimented now because I wake up, I meditate for anywhere from eight to 15 minutes. From there, I stack from anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes, unless something major has happened in an hour. From there, I go directly to reading something about business and doing a quick workout.
I get all that done first thing in the morning to put myself in a position of power to it's, it's about being intentional to actually take control of your day and put yourself in a power before the day takes control of you. Whenever you're working on somebody else's time all the time, you set your alarm so you can rush around, brush your teeth, get ready to go to work, do whatever, blah, blah, blah. You don't take any time for you.
Whenever you decide to wake up earlier in the morning, and especially if you meditate, first thing, you are taking control of your day by saying, no, no day, this is my time. I'm gonna be still. You are not going to take me into the thralls of whatever you have planned for me. I'm gonna... dictate my day. And when you start being able to dictate your morning like that, then you start being able to dictate your day and find pockets of time that you never knew existed before.
You become more productive and more efficient getting your work done and you have more time to connect with your family in the day. So you're designing your day by designing your morning. And as you design your days, it becomes easier to design your week. And as you design your week, it becomes easier to design your month, to design your life. but it starts with designing your morning. It's about taking control before you are taking control up.
And that is by thinking small and then you are acting big. You are making those small commitments, those small plans, and then you are following them through with big action. So keeping it real short today, because I really want to start making this an easy listen, where we talk about some important things that I've learned. as I'm learning to grow and develop as an parent with ADHD and I'm finding some real success. I want to share that with people.
So I'm also trying to share that by getting as many consultations booked as I possibly can because I've been playing kind of small. I've been connecting with people one -on -one who I think need me. I haven't been just putting it out there on a mass level to say, pick me. If you are struggling as a parent and you have ADHD, I can help you. I've been there. I've been through the struggle. I've been scared. I felt guilty. I felt remorseful. I felt regretful.
I felt limited in my possibility and my responsibility. I felt it all. I've been really bad at this, but now things are so much better and I want to help other people cross that threshold of despair without having to struggle like I did. So I'm offering free one hour consultations to anybody who clicks the link in the description. And I want you to just let me help you.
Like I'm going to give you my, my experience and my training for free for an hour to help identify the obstacles that you are facing right now and to help give you at least three strategies or techniques that will help you move forward powerfully in your life and make a difference immediately. I want to do that to just help people. There's no obligation. There's no cost at the end of the call.
If you like what I have to offer, I'll give you an invitation to continue coaching outside of that call, but it has nothing to do with what I'm trying to offer. First off, I have been called to help ADHD parents and I want to do that on a bigger level. So I encourage you to click the link and sign up for your free consultation today. Don't wait because I don't know how long my schedule is going to be open and I really just want to help you. So. That is it for today.
I'm going to wrap up the show and I really enjoyed talking to the two people who will listen to this. But if you're listening, then please contact me because I want to help you. All right, that's it. Bye, everybody.