I think that it's easier to say yes, gay rights than it is to have your child come out. And I think like after I've spoken with my parents about that, it's really just because every parent wants their kid and wants their child to have the easiest life possible. And so, yeah. And so I think that my parents were only worried about how other people would treat me. And there it is again, kind of like the worry about how others react to things rather than how you're feeling.
And so I think there was a little bit of that. I think there was a little bit of like, do I not know you? Like I thought I did. How did I not see that? I think we're so close and I understand you, But if there's something so big. Hello again and welcome back to Authentic on Air with Bruce Alexander. I am still your host, Bruce Alexander, at least for the foreseeable future because my name is in the title and you can expect me to keep showing up.
I don't consider myself a journalist, although I do aim to create a safe space for guests to tell their stories. My guest today is a legit journalist with credits that include Bloomberg, Politico, USA Today and MSNBC. I first encountered her, however, in a totally different capacity. More about that after today's reflection as listen to this show know my family is on the precipice of a huge transition. We are moving across the country to New England.
What I want to reflect on today is how you balance being an authentic friend with being true to your passion and chasing your dreams. I am really struggling with this at the moment to give some context. I've never considered myself as an overly important person. As a matter of fact, I often question whether or not my friends are put out by my never ending conversational dominance and moodiness. So when I receive this next piece of information, I was really wrong.
I've always considered my house the hub of activity for my people for two reasons. I really love cooking for my people. It's my number one love language and my spouse. The social anxiety makes socializing outside of the house kind of difficult. So having people over was always just a win win way of people. However, at a recent get together, one of my closest friends told me that I was the glue of our friend group.
Another friend told me in tears that they weren't sure if this group of people would continue to exist as friends. When my family was gone, my head was is swimming. I love my people fiercely. So as I was initially boosted by the company, I was then chokeslam back to Earth. The thought of my chosen family falling apart because we are choosing a new path honestly makes it hard for me to breathe. We are committed to this decision and we aren't turning back.
But I'm studying not to leave part of my heart in OKC. If you were faced with a similar decision, how would you handle balancing this way up on Instagram threads? LinkedIn or Facebook and join the discussion discussion on the episode 16 Reflection post or you can make your own post and tag at authentic identity management and use the hashtag Authentic Reflections because I really want to hear from you. I could use the advice.
Speaking of huge life transitions and being true to your passion, Jindal Brightman is on the line from Tel Aviv, Israel, today, an expansive Havertown, Pennsylvania. It seems from the outside, Jindal had a life, a blossoming career in a field. She loves, an overall enjoyment of the city she called home. What would entice her to leave home 6000 miles in the rearview and start over? That is her story to tell, and I can't wait to hear it.
As I said, the reflection today, I could really use some levity on the. Starting a brand new life. And hopefully I have just the right person or the right time to have this conversation. I didn't know any of this when I first encountered Kendal as a community manager of the certain business community that we belong to, and I will let her share that or not.
I was curious about this person and how they were able to facilitate great conversation, act as an intermediary between any user and product creator and seemed genuinely excited about building a community All the while have always played into I wonder what their life game long before this podcast. Difference now is the podcast gives me a reason to reach past my social anxiety and actually find out.
Naturally, when she started offering 30 minute it's no use sessions to the community we are involved in. I jumped on it and within 3 minutes of entering the call I knew that Kendal would be a fantastic guest to introduce to my authentic audience, but it took me 27 more minutes. Develop the courage to ask from the recording of this episode. It's obvious she was gracious enough to say yes. And I'm so happy to welcome Kendal Brightman to the show. Welcome, Kendal. Thank you.
I'm so happy to be here, especially after everything that you just said. This is. I'm excited of this conversation. So thanks for having me. Absolutely. You know, you have been very helpful to me as I've been building this podcast and learning how to build up a video part of it. So I really appreciate that first and foremost. And then also your graciousness with your time there, come on my show and, you know, give people a chance to get to know you.
Yeah, well, I think like as you were just saying that when you met, you'd want to be on the show. I think that you, even from our call to Psych, really opened up a really great space to just be able to talk and share. So I was excited to be to be asked. So thank you so much. People say nice things about that, like about me like that. And I'm always kind of taken aback because I think I'm weird and. I, I couldn't I couldn't.
I wasn't I mean, surprised when I heard there a saying that you're the glue of of your friend group. So yeah, you're I don't think they should be surprised by that. But you know we all have our stuff and as positive as I like to think about myself, it is it is hard to really see what you are to other people. For sure I will. I will say that moving, moving will change.
That You get to see who you are to other people in, like, a really nice way, in the way that, like you're your friendships when you move change and you really value the time that you get to talk with each other. You see how people keep in touch. You learn that just because you're not keeping in touch with somebody doesn't mean that your relationships are affected by it. It's it's a really interesting way to to explore those same friendships, but in a new way.
Yeah, I'm I hope to see the same thing. So let's back up a little bit before we really jump into it and tell me the audience in your own words, lose your eye, you spend your time and why you think I invited you on the show particularly. So my name is Kendall Brightman, originally from Havertown, Pennsylvania. It's right outside of Philadelphia. I actually went to school in D.C., went to American University. If that if that strikes a chord for anyone.
And so when I was there, I actually started studying politics and journalism. And shockingly enough, I started as a political journalist when I left college.
So started over at Politico, went over to well, I had done an internship at USA Today, went over to Politico, covered the 2016 presidential election on the road for Bloomberg News, which was a really once in a lifetime crazy opportunity that we can get into, moved over to MSNBC after that as a producer, television producer, and then kind of just quit it all and moved over to Tel Aviv. We can also get into that part. And that's mainly because I had met my wife, who is Israeli.
She was a medical student at the time. And so it just kind of seemed more and more like that was the the way that we were going to be able to make things happen. She wouldn't be able to come to the to the United States. So it was kind of a leap for me of I can continue to just kind of live on the safe path or I can try something new and put myself out there for something that could be a high payoff. And four and a half years later, I am
still in Tel Aviv, happy. And yeah, I think and working as part of my job with podcasters, which is how we had met each other. So that's kind of the very quick version of me. And I think that you invited me on because I feel like there were a lot of small moments when we were talking about success, how you see success in careers, moving to another country, being part of the gay community. There's just I feel like we really started ping pong off of each other in a lot of ways to to discuss life.
So did I get it right? Yeah. I mean, well, there's no right answer, but I think that's that's definitely some of the stuff I had in mind. And you definitely provide a large cross-section of different ways that you have to face being authentic and being true to yourself. So I'm curious to get inside your mind and see how you face this thing. But obviously, first I want to get out of the way so you can tell your story a little more in-depth.
Like the headline seems to be like Brightman leaves life Behind to start over in Tel Aviv. But let's get into it. Like, really tell me, like, how that happened, what some of the things you heard in that during that process were like how you felt. I mean, because that's that's a really big decision. Like a huge decision. Yeah, it was. It really was. So it all started.
This was not like I had studied abroad when I was in college and I studied in Copenhagen, and the dream of mine was to move to Copenhagen. And then I ended up getting a job at Politico. And it really felt like something that I couldn't say no to, just for a the idea of going into Copenhagen. So I kind of put that on the back burner at that time and kind of forgot about it. It was successful in political journalism, excuse me.
And so then I ended up going on a trip actually to Tel Aviv with two of my friends and I had met who ended up being my wife there at the time. It was just just a person. So we had really connected and I left and the idea was kind of that it was like she was going to be her dad as American. She was going to be in New York when I was there. We would have one more time to really see each other and then kind of, you know, you never know where that's going to go.
But the idea is that that's kind of you cross somebody in your life that you really connect with and you hope that that will continue. So then she had come to New York. We had a great time together, and then she went back to she was living in Tel Aviv at that time. And it just there was something there that just kept kind of pulling me back into that. So we just didn't stop talking.
And then it really involved, Yeah. How how much time do you spend together at this time when she went back to Bellevue? So we had spent probably like 10 to 12 days when I was in Israel with my friends and I better on the first day. And then she came to New York and I would say that that was about two weeks of time. But she was also with her family like it was like it wasn't like I was getting 24 seven time with her.
It was like in little in little bits and pieces that she was able to have some time. And then from there it just became we were texting every day and then it just became kind of like what I would call like little leaps of faith, like little leaps of vulnerability into saying, I have three days off, do you want to meet somewhere? And then we met in London for New Year's or I came to Tel Aviv to see her around. Like like I got it as a gift for my birthday.
Like, really these lives of, like, really vulnerable times of saying, like, I really feel a connection here and I'm just going to go for it. And, you know, there's a it's a there's a little bit of padding in there because she lived on the other side of the world. So, you know, if she didn't text me back, I don't have to run into her. So that just kind of like evolved from there.
And then I moved down to D.C., I had my job at MSNBC and the more and more that we got to know each other, the more and more that we got to visit each other. I just kept kind of having this nagging feeling like that. It was if I didn't try something here that I would end up regretting it. And it kind of came down to me for as you can leave your job and go across the world and you might regret that, like it really could have easily been a terrible situation and you can have that.
But then I knew that my network was strong enough that I could come back and come back to it, or I could just kind of continue on the path that I had made for myself. That was straightforward and I was on it and successful on it. But I worried that I would be ten years down the road on that and regret not doing something back then. So it really came down to that and I mean, I don't keep talking too much, but there were a lot of, you. Know, I just keep going. Yeah. Yeah.
Like there was a lot of things like it was because I wasn't moving for a job or something else that kind of people would define as, like, success in this way. It was kind of like, you're leaving, you're quitting your job to go be with a woman like this, this person. And so I did face like some questions from friends and some questions from family. But at the end of the day, actually, my friend Andrew told me something that's really going to always stick with me.
I was this really back and forth, Should I do it? Should I not do it? What are people going to think? What are people going to say? And this is like my best friend. And he was saying like, I love you, but no one goes home and sits up at night and thinks about you like they're not saying, my gosh, candles crazy for moving to Tel Aviv. Like you're going to spend your life sitting up wondering if you should have done it, wondering if you should do it.
And like that's all that matters because anyone else their opinion, kind of like everyone's the main character of their own life, so their opinion can take them so far. But like you have to look out for what's going to make your life path the best. And so it really came down. It came out of that. Honestly.
It's great to have a friend who can really cut through all the noise like that and say something so poignant because, I mean, honestly, how often do we feel like people are sitting up thinking about us? And when we make our decisions and really everybody's got their own crap and is really not worried about what you wore to the party or that stupid thing you said that, you know, you can't get out of your head. You know, like I said, you know, thanks. You enjoy your time too.
And they're like, they don't care that you said the weird thing. Like, it's it's gone. It's you know, it's moved on. Everybody has their own stuff. So did was there anything going on on the other path of life that was that was kind of guiding you towards this decision? Like whatever. I left my job to start my, you know, my business and the podcast. It was that the universe and God was pushing me very clearly on a different path.
It was like, you don't need to be with me for I should have I could have made that decision a lot longer before and been a lot happier in the long run. Did you like was there anything obvious that was happening that was pushing you towards this path or were you just like you got that whisper of of something better and you just you just leaped on it?
I, I think actually the like whisper was more to stay like and I think that this is a really interesting part of it for me was that I really like I had come out of college and wanted to be a political reporter, and then I was sitting there in 30 Rock producing a political show. And I think that when you're at these places that are I think there are two things.
So first, being at this place that you've built up for your for your life, like I when I think of news, I would think of CNBC, Fox as the Big three. And so to be in that and feel kind of successful in that, it was harder for me to admit that maybe it wasn't what I wanted because it was such a goal. And then you get to the goal and you're like looking around saying, okay, but am I really going to leave this for a person? Like, am I really going to leave this for something that might not work out?
But on top of that, because it was right after 2016, there was a big like journalism is like it still is, but it really was then also really seen as like, Wow, you're a political reporter in these times. It it became bigger than itself. And so I think that I started actually wrapping up my own self-worth in one the company that I was at and to the fact that I was like almost like doing the Lord's work, by the way people were talking about it.
I like I often say that I liked how I looked in other people's eyes, like I liked how I liked how people saw me when they when they heard that I was doing political journalism in this time that I was following presidential candidates. And I think that that really made me stay much longer than I should have because I cared so much about that. My ego was so much wrapped up in that.
So the idea of saying, like, and I'm going to leave it to go move through this, this part of the world and be with this person that like probably when you're asking about timing, we'd probably only spent like three months of like actual time together in person. It just that was more like keeping me. But the voice to want to go was very loud and I was trying to almost block it out to try to be logical.
Yeah, but what I kind of realized when I talk about having somebody like, feel like seeing yourself, how other people see you in their eyes, I think that I had to like, redefine success in that way. So I grew up East Coast, Philadelphia, New York, D.C. like your worth, your set, your success is so much tied in to your career and your job. And I had this moment where I was like, What if success is like successfully moving to another our country? What if it's learning a new language?
What if it's making new friends? What if it's making a new life for yourself? Like, why is that not seen as equal or greater than type of success that you can get from a job? So it really was about all redefining that. And those were really the voices that were predominantly in my head. And there's a lot to unpack with everything you just said because first off, so let's talk about the fact that you had this dream and you that you didn't treat. Let's keep the dream.
You were at 30 Rock producing a political news show like that is basically coming out of college. What you grew up as what you wanted to do, right? And you'd gotten there, you'd achieved it and realized that it wasn't all it's cracked up to be. I let's just talk about that on itself, because that right there is a lot to deal with, just, you know, getting the dream. A lot of people never get it and are unable to see that there's a possibility that the dream is not all it's cracked up to be.
Yeah. I mean, and I was like, I'm not going to act like I had reached, like the pinnacle dream. I mean, like, you know, of the executive producing or something like that. But the thing is that I was at the place and in the industry as a producer that I like, I felt that success in that. And then I was also able to kind of like, so this is how it happened in the way that I was able to like see the dream. So I was able to see the people that are that are that had reached that.
And that's not to knock the people that had reached that, because I think that what they're doing is amazing and I think that they love it. But I think that there are all of these little moments where if you're a journalist, you have two phones on you at all times. And I know that seems small, but it's it's this constant attachment. It's that they they wake up and they eat, sleep and breathe this like the Twitter feeds and being on top of things.
And you can have plans after work, but you can cancel those and go meet with a source and get that information. And I wanted so desperately to be that. But then I was realizing that what fills me was not having that source meeting and going to meet with my friends and having a work life balance.
And there was a particular time where we were all sitting at dinner with a couple journalists, and I believe like, like, like North Korea tested a nuclear weapon and everyone had to get up and leave to go work. And it was more the way that they that filled them. And I wanted so desperately for that to be me. But I was realizing that I was going to spend my life wanting that to be.
Footscray fills me, but kind of selling myself short because I think that that's what showed rather than what does, you know. So we talk a lot about self-awareness on the show and, you know, being honest with yourself. And that was that was an honest moment for you, where you had to look at what you wanted to be true and what was actually true. And deciding that it's not like this is not actually what those make up. And so when was like when was that moment?
I think that moment I think that moment actually was there was a one time when I was on the road and we were kind of just starting to gear up for the 2020 election. So of course, 2020 election like starts in like 2018. It's wild. So we're gearing up for that. And I went on the road with another reporter and at that day I remember that my partner was having a really hard time and I was on the road and I'm at these events and I just I couldn't stop thinking about that.
I should be texting her or that I should make sure that she's okay. And talking to her on the phone made me feel so much better than any other part of that day. That and so I just kind of was like, I'm on. I almost felt it was a moment where I was like, I'm almost denying myself happiness because I don't think that that's what should make me happy, because I've been told that my job should make me happy. And so and also juxtaposing it with the person I was on the road with.
And she is I wouldn't say the name, but she's like a really scrappy, great reporter. And so she was like Tripod over her shoulder running around. And I wanted to have that hunger. And I remember that I used to. But like, there's a reason also why that's such like a young profession, because it really it takes all, all of this out of you and I think that, like, if I were to go back to the United States, I would love to do journalism again.
But I just was realizing that I needed a bit more than that. Like, that wasn't going to be my thing. You need something besides your career to be your life, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I definitely appreciate that. I lived a life where the I didn't want my career to be of my life. It just was because it was so all encompassing as a firefighter. It's exhausting. And you don't even really have time for a life because you spend so much time working and then you're exhausted whenever you get home.
Like these people are all like, Hey, dad, hey, husband. And then I'm just like, I'm asleep. And then you talk for hours. Exactly. So, yeah, that's that's really interesting that you that, that was all developing while you're you've got this other thing developing which made it clear for you what you did need in your life.
And that's I guess, you know, maybe that was like fortunate timing that you instead of, you know, kind of being lost as they're like, well, this doesn't fill me what is going to fill me? You kind of had this this other person who was giving you giving you something that was making you feel like a more well-rounded or human being.
And it kind of guided you as to and this is this is me making a causal leap that it guided you on a path where you're doing what you do now, which is is a deeper part of that, which is building community. And it wasn't just about building one relationship. That relationship was very important to where you are now, but it turns out you really love building relationships on the whole. Right? Exactly. And I was just thinking about that as you were saying it. And I think that's a really great point.
It's like this is all to say that now that I've come here and I've settled, I do feel like my job fulfills me so and it's an important part of my life. So it's interesting, like what I have found this while because I don't think that while I was in the U.S. with the job that I had, that I would have felt comfortable even exploring other jobs because I was like, this is what I studied for, this is what I do.
And so I think that it really opened me up to to find actually what I'm passionate about, which is like when I because I haven't even I didn't even thought about being a, a a community manager before this. And I was approached by my current workplace about being a community manager. And I read the job description. I was like, Wow, this sounds exactly like me and what I love doing. So yeah, I think that it definitely guided me to to this point.
And you were in a career like so many in America specifically, that kind of makes you feel like relationships aren't possible. Like you, you have to choose one or the other. You either have to have a great career or you have to have a great relationship and and hope that you're going to be able to pay the bills. And that's you know, that's a terrible false dichotomy that we have here. And it's unfortunate, but it's really easy to fall into that trap. And I'm glad you were given a look out of it.
And it's really seemed to have paid off for you in the long term. So congratulations on that. Yeah, thank you. The ironic part is that I'm coming at you from my living room while my wife, who is a doctor, is working an overnight shift. So I pass the message along to her for more to bring in some time for a relationship, you know? No, I'm kidding, right? It's. It's all works out, but it's it's just funny that we're talking about leaving all encompassing career is.
Meanwhile, I did marry someone who has an all encompassing career. Is what doctor is is it the same as we view it in America, which is, you know, 60 hour workweeks and, you know, guaranteed overtime? Is it the same there? It's yeah, Yeah, it's the same as a medical resident. Yeah, she's a medical resident, too. So it's like really you really at that time.
Yeah, but if you love content like this conversation with Kindle, I recommend you put episode seven in your library right now, hitting the brakes, setting boundaries to align expectation with sustainable performance. With Regan, Shorter is a great look into the other side of the lens. Unlike writing producing, Brightman, Regan often find herself in front of the camera, and in our conversation we get a different perspective on authenticity that I think you will love.
You can listen to that after you finish this great conversation with Kendall. Yeah, well, I mean, that must be tough. So kind of going back to being in a brand new country, I mean, which is not brand new to you anymore, but that speaks to her having been pretty pretty busy as you were starting to acclimate yourself to this new place.
What I mean, I guess that can both have been good and bad because you had to establish yourself as a member of a community in Israel, but you also kind of came over there for this person who's now going to be very busy a lot of the time that you're there. How how did you cope with that? Yeah, it was actually it was pretty difficult when I first came to it because I had no other community here except for her.
But I think that like it was a balance because at the same time I'm a very independent person, so I didn't want to depend on her for everything. So it actually was nice to be able to like I would spend days walking around alone, like while she was working I thing and like it really got me to get to know my city, the new city that I was in, get to explore the place, get to make my own friends.
So it was actually it was difficult because, you know, you move with somebody you expected to be like, and now we're together all the time. But there's still the real life balance of like, I have a job and I had to I had already found a job by the time that I moved, which was really fortunate, but it was really difficult. I mean, it's a completely different language, too. So I had to have her read my bank statements and sign me up for health insurance. Like all of these things.
Yeah, you would just like go from being a really independent person to saying like, can you help me create a bank account? Can you help me find a doctor? I think all of these things just became really like I was depending on her for all of it. So I think that with these kinds of moves, it's I always, like people have said that I'm brave for making them, but I actually think that it's more brave for that.
She had done that because like that, I see it's helping me move because for me it was a new adventure and I don't know about anyone else associating. But like if I invite somebody to a bar and it's not a cool bar, I'm like, my God, I'm so sorry. We can go somewhere else. But the responsibility of picking the place. So I can't imagine somebody moving to another country and they're like, I'm homesick. And you're like, I'm so sorry. Like, it's it's a lot of pressure that goes on there, partner,
when you move for somebody. So, yeah. So as you were, you know, walking around, finding your own way, did you feel more like a minority? Like because I'm I'm not really sure what the makeup of Israel is. I know that there are a lot of people who kind of could present as white, who are Israeli, but it's also like a lot of brown people. So like, how did you feel as you were starting to. Ahmed there? So I actually like I will say that it's outside of that and I'll get to that.
But the I never felt more American than when I moved somewhere else. Like when I moved here. There are so many things that I didn't realize for so American of me that I like. Even the way that we carry ourselves, the way that we speak to people, the way that we there's an instant gratification to with being an American, I can order something and have it delivered to my home by the next day or have it even delivered to my door.
You know, like here it's small, but like you gets a package delivered and it, it comes to my local like bodega type shop and I have to go get it. Small things like that. Just like the ease of life that I think Americans are very privileged to live. And I was very privileged to live. But it kind of puts us in a in this little bubble of what other places are like as far as like being a minority. Anyway, I will say in Tel Aviv, it's I joke that it's more it's brave to be straight here.
It's a very really. Yeah, it's very. That was actually my next question. Yeah. Yeah. Very gay in Tel Aviv So huge gay community which was really nice. And I will say that like there are like as far as white passing, I will say that there was a, there was an interesting conversation that I had with a coworker who flew in to visit and she made a comment when she was on the plane being like, this was this is the whitest plane I'd ever I'd ever been on.
And I was saying to her after that, the interesting thing that I find with like the makeup of the community here is that you can like that things are a bit blurred here in the way that you can look. I pointed out one of my coworkers and I was like, You would say that like you would classify him there as well. But he's actually both of his parents. He's first generation Syrian or my other friend who is Iraqi.
And it's just this idea that like, it's kind of like it's it's harder to there's much more of like a there's much more of like a mix of people. But your it's like you're it's much harder identify people's backgrounds I guess because of the way that people all come from North Africa, Middle East, like Eastern Europe and then that everybody is kind of come here and kind of come together.
I don't know if that makes sense, but it's the idea that it becomes a little bit less like definable then I yeah. It's it's I've heard like I had a guest on a friend of mine who who's a black man who moved out of America specifically because he was struggling with being a black man in America. And the way that the rest of the world use race is very different. It's a yes, it's much more nuanced. It is much more focused on ethnicity versus color of skin.
It is, you know. Yes. But having moved from America, you still have those thoughts in your head. But like, people are going to treat me this way or that way because I'm black or because I'm white and I'm sure that there's a a a period of comfort and growth where you have to figure out like, those things that I know to be true from America aren't true here. And, you know, was that was a difficult adjustment for you? Yeah, definitely.
I mean, it wasn't difficult in the way that like I, I was lucky enough to not feel like any like I had come from New York and DC for me as a gay person, for example, and to Tel Aviv, which is also a really accepting place. So I didn't really feel like that.
I think that it just, it really opened up my I when I talk about the way that like my Americanness, it's the way that I see things, the way that I interpret things, the way that like as you were saying, ethnicity, how ethnicity, where you're like especially in a place like this, it's like where your family is from because there are so many people whose grandparents and parents were refugees from other places.
Like it's just a different way of of thinking, of being, of seeing other people that I think is interesting and some that I had to confront when I when, I moved for sure. Yeah. So you said Tel Aviv is like a really accepting place of gay culture. Is is that kind of a microcosm that exists? And I guess much scarier place, like if you go outside of Tel Aviv, are you now worried about expressing too much your your identity as a as a gay woman?
Yeah. So I would describe it as kind of like New York City compared to the rest of the United States. So Tel Aviv, I feel very safe here. I feel like very gay here, to be honest. And in other parts of Israel, it's it can it can change. I mean, there are some places like around the center there, there's some places like there are other places I wouldn't feel uncomfortable in the suburbs of Tel Aviv. I wouldn't feel uncomfortable in other parts of Israel.
But then there are, of course, places that I would feel that I get out of the car with my partner and I'm not going to hold her hand. I'm not really handhold her anyway, so it's fine. But so yeah, I would say that Tel Aviv is most definitely a microcosm. I'll make statements about Israel like, here it's like this, or here it's like that. And my partner will always correct me being like in Tel Aviv, you have on like it's a very specific place.
It's like only living in New York and saying something about the United States. It's like, okay, but you experience a very specific part of the United States. Has your partner had any strong feelings about this whole process? And, you know, you said that she would kind of be like, hold on. That's just part of it, as she been vocal about anything, like on the whole of you, you know, making this huge leap.
You know, we talk about other people like making judgments, like, did she have any, like reservations or judgments on her own that kind of like made you give pause and also like continuing on as you go on, like going on? Has there been growing pains as you've tried to, like, acclimate? Yeah. So I will say there are a few things, so like some smaller things. For example, I think that she's able to see how hard it is to move to another country and another place.
Like there's just a different level of confidence that I'll have if I walk into a store and like it's in the United States and I'm speaking English, I've learned a lot of Hebrew, but I still like, I don't have as much confidence. So or if somebody can act a little bit rudely, more like rude to me, like in the U.S., I'd be like, Hey, absolutely.
And in in Tel Aviv, I'm a little bit more reserved in that way because it's I mean, it's just like not knowing the language as strongly and being a little bit more like less confident in in that ability. I would say that like as far as understand ending, like I wasn't somebody, there are some people who live here and move here who moved here because of the place that it is. They moved here because of Israel. I'm not one of those people.
I moved here for my partner and so I didn't really know anything about about Israel and so there was some kind of like growing pains in the way of one thing that I remember, it was really it just it was just ignorance on my part of like, of of the makeup of this place and how things work. Like we went to a food market and it's a really cool food market. It's like every stand has a flag of a different country and they're then they serve food from that country.
But it's all homemade food. It's all homemade recipes. And I remember this that we walked through this market and I left and I was like, Wow, it's so cool. They have Iraqi food, They have Iranian food, They have like Moroccan food. Like, how do they like how do they know how to make this traditionally? And there was this moment where she was like, no, Like, it's because that's where they're from. Like, that's where they moved here from. That's where their grandparent are from.
And I think that was an interesting part of for me is like I grew up Jewish, but I grew up my my grandparents are from the are from Eastern Europe and all of my friends who I grew up Jewish with in the United States, all of their parents were also from or grandparents were also from Eastern Europe. And so it actually kind of I was ignorant to the fact that there are some that like Judaism is so multi-dimensional, so cross so much cross sexuality like that.
I didn't even know that these communities like it's crazy to think now because it's just not how I think now. But like it was crazy to me that I even asked that question. How do they know? It's because that's where their families are from? But I had just kind of grown up in this bubble that when I thought about what made up the Jewish community, I thought about the people that I had grown up with.
And nine times out of ten, those people were people whose family came from a very specific part of the world. Yeah. So that was a learning curve. Are you still like a practicing of the Jewish faith? No, I was actually never really practicing like my mom. Actually, my mom grew up Orthodox and did not like, how like, how Judaism is with or any religion really, like with with women and growth. She had to grow up with like seven brothers, you know, what's the only girl wild?
So when she raised us, it was very like, we'll go to synagogue on high holidays, and then it kind of died down from there. So I didn't really grow up religious at all. Like I didn't even I came here knowing no Hebrew and knowing apparently half the holidays I've learned there, like double the holidays and what I know about. But, you know, so it wasn't like a return to Mecca for you.
It was just like, no, it was really just about moving there where you're, you know, you're now spouse and I mean, like, I don't know. Does any of your family have any views on that? Like, have you had conversations about like, you're back and, you know, you're in Israel like this is a big deal and been like, not really. It's not a big deal to me. I think so. My mom's my my grandfather on my mom's side was very religious. As I said, she grew up orthodox, so he was very religious.
So if there was any, like a motion behind it, it was just like he had passed a few years ago. And so if any emotion was behind it from my family side, it was just kind of like your grandfather would have been so happy to hear this. But other than that, there wasn't really any of that.
I will say that on the opposite side, they're happy that I'm happy, but they weren't like, you know, no, I don't think that any parent particularly wants their kid to to move to the other side of the world, especially like one that can, you know, that it can sometimes be perceived as dangerous. But I haven't felt that. I felt I feel I feel safe here. So. Yeah. how old are you? I'm. I'm asked. I'm 31. So I thought we were, you know, close to, like, seven years.
It's different, like I come from in a generation where coming out to your parents was kind of a, was kind of a grab bag. It was like some people were like, you know, I felt pretty supported and a lot of people were, no, I got you know, I got put out of my house and, you know, my parents still don't speak to me. And things have changed pretty rapidly in the last like in a 10 to 15 years, like different start ups or time range. How was it for you dealing with that part of your life?
And is that something that had a strong hand in shaping who you are today? yeah, for sure. I always joke that like hindsight's 2020 and that I'm like looking back at like I, I actually came out like pretty like late. And by late I mean I think I was like 22 or 23, which is not late, but it feels late when you missed all of college. So where's I jumped on that boat?
So basically, like when I came out to, I was really lucky in the way that I came out to my family and they were super like accepting. I will say that like it was interesting because my family has always been very progressive and like my they, I always knew that they were going to accept me, but it took a bit longer. I think that it's easier to say yes gay rights than it is to have your child come out.
And I think like after I've spoken with my parents about that, it's really just because every parent wants their kid, wants their child to have the easiest life possible. Right? And so, yeah. And so I think that my parents were only worried about how other people would treat me. And there it is again, kind of like the worry about how others react to things rather than how you're feeling. And so I think there was a little bit of that.
I think there was a little bit of like, do I not know you like I thought I did. How did I not see that? I think we're so close and I understand you, but if there's something so big. So we've kind of took some explanation of like, I didn't even know this, you know, But yeah, it was. I think that it really, like, it really shaped who I am. But I would also say that kind of the coming out experience and shaped who I am, I think that it was after it was I use this example all the time.
It used to take me like an hour to get ready in the morning because I would just try on different clothes and I never felt comfortable and I couldn't figure out what to wear. And I noticed that after I came out, it was like instantaneous. I was like, okay, here's this, here's that. I just felt myself was as if I finally kind of hit the nail on the head of like, that's what it is. You know. You stop trying to put on a costume. And you were just getting ready in the morning.
Yeah, but the interesting thing is, I never thought that I was wearing a costume. Like, I never knew that, like, it was a thing afterwards that I looked back and I was like, wow, this makes sense. It's like. It's like when you're searching for some sort of, like, diagnosis on something, you're like, Why? Like, I can't figure this out. And then once it like, once you get answers, you're just like, this all plays in like this all make sense now. That's all. It's all feels right. At least like it.
At least I know what's happening here and that I can move in an educated way with a full picture. Did you ever have a process of coming up to yourself? yeah. Yeah. So I was in a five year relationship with a with a man, but we were. Yeah. So from the time I was like 18 or 19 and then I so I was with him and the whole time either would be tight, not the whole time. There would be times where I would think maybe you're queer in some sort of way.
But then I kind of just kept putting it off saying, Well, you're with a you're with somebody that you love now, Like, who cares? Like, if you are attracted to women, that's who cares because you're with somebody and you like them. And so excuse me. And so like, kind of put that on the back burner if you ever have to deal with it. And then I remember I moved to New York and I was this is like so distinct for me. I was sitting on the L train.
And so I'm saying this part because the L is like different in the way that it's kind of like to benches on each side and they face each other. And then you have this like a giant space in the middle of the of the train of the subway. And so I'm facing this couple. And the couple it was two women and they were just like laughing and talking. And I remember sitting there being like, why do you feel so jealous right now? Like, I felt this like envy in me.
And at first I tried to be like, it's because they're like in a happy place And I'm like, fighting with my boyfriend. But then it kind of just kept those moments kept happening. And then I have this thing where, like, I once, like, I'll go through something in my head and then I'll say it out loud. And if I like it, it takes me a while to say it out loud. But I finally, like said it out loud. I'm like, You're gay.
And it was a moment that I'll never forget, like the amount of weight I felt I was on the street by myself at a sort of crying. It was like this really crazy amount of like, that's it. It was like this connection that just like, that was kind of me coming out to myself. And then we I, you know, clearly broke up with a boyfriend after after that little moment on the street that'll do it. So that's kind of yeah, that was kind of how that how that happened.
I mean, it's like it's something I'll never understand. Like and there are a lot of tough parts that, that, that I don't want to have to ever live through. But that kind of clarity, that life changing clarity, is something that that must be nice to have at some point in life where it's like, that's what's wrong with me. Like, it's not not not being gay is what's wrong, but it's like I didn't realize that I was that I was gay. And that was. What sitting there. Was a disconnect.
Yeah. And like, you know, I guess me being ADHD has been a pretty big disconnect that I didn't realize was a disconnect because whenever I was diagnosed, it was it was pretty early in that in the like, you know, the whole the whole conversation about how much it affects your your social ability to, like, really interact with other people. And so I just thought, you know, I'm going to be like, I'm late.
All the time and I lose chunks of time and I have trouble focusing like that's that's all that it was to me. And so I went through the next ten years thinking like, why can't I find a friend? Like, why can't I, like, really connect with people on a deep level? Like and it was a lot of, you know, masking and trying to be what other people what I thought other people wanted and all these other things that were really leading to very unfulfilling conclusions.
And then at one point I realized like, being ADHD is much more than that. And you need to look at if this is causing some of those disconnects. And it has definitely saw a lot of those mysteries. But it wasn't like a, you know, that one thing where you think about it, I was like, so you had that. How long after that did you tell your parents? And was that was that at the same time as you came out to the world or was it like a separate stage?
So first person I came out to was my friend, one of my friends. She's like my best friend. And it actually like it was the day after I'd broken up with my boyfriend at the time and we just had like a hour and a half long call more than that, I think. And the part one was like telling her in detail about what had happened and the break up. And then I was like, I remember saying, And are you ready for part two? She's like, And I'm like, I think I'm gay.
And that was and then we completely talked that out. So that was more of a I think I'm went on a date pretty quickly after that, just kind of like I was so curious at that point. Like I definitely wasn't ready to be dating, but after getting out of a five year relationship. But I was so curious that point. And then from there I started telling my friends. I told my uncle first out of my family because he is gay.
So I also wanted part of that was that I wanted my mom to be able to have someone to talk with about it, and I knew that he would be the right person to talk to about it and that I knew that she'd be the that she turned to him to talk about it. So I got that. that was the first one. And then I actually told my parents on a weekend that my dad was away on a trip. So I came to visit my mom. So I had kind of like a one on one moment with her.
And then my dad came back and I had a one on one moment with him. So I came out to, I would say friends like some friends first, then to my family. And then after I told my family, it was it was I could tell anyone and it like felt fine to do that. But when you broke up with your boyfriend, did you was that part of the breakup? No. No, it was that specific. Wow. Because like, at the time, like I as I said before, my issue was I kept saying, but we're fine, so I don't have to worry about this.
And then I started to feel like he was treating me not so great. And I didn't like that. And so I kind of felt when I broke up with him, it was partially because I wanted to explore my sexuality, but I also think that I would have kept in the charade if things had been fine, you know, like I could have fooled myself in thinking that like, like this is all good.
And so I didn't want like, maybe it's a little bit petty, but like, I didn't want him to, like, get to go away from it thinking, like being able to kind of to say like, no, it's it's not me. She is just gay, you know? Like, I want it like that. Didn't feel right for what the breakup was. It was like, Hey, I don't want this anymore because of the way that you'd been acting. And then I actually didn't come out to him for about a year after that.
And yeah, and then a year later I had I wrote to him and let him know and he was really great about it. He was really supportive and wonderful. So that was great. But that was not purposefully not part of the part of the breakup because I thought that it it gave a bit too much of an out to the way that he had been acting. excuse me if I'm out of line in asking this, you were in a five year relationship with him and you said that you were in love with him.
How do you how do you go from that and skip over being bi to being gay? Like, I'm trying to like, I know that's not a choice. I'm just trying to understand what's your mindset as as you're going through that? No, don't worry. I actually. So I think that I, I went on Tinder, I would say for about 5 minutes with like, men and women as a as a setting. And I just felt myself just like, swipe, swipe, swipe. This is not what I want, I think that the difference really came from.
I wanted to explore with women. And then when I did it, it was this kind of this like, I don't even know how to describe it. It just was kind of like, yeah, like this is how I'm supposed to feel this excitement the way like I think that I knew I loved him. Like you love someone that you care a lot about. And I didn't feel this kind of like, love where you like, look at the person. You're like, I am crazy about you, you know? Right.
And it's not that I felt that when I went on these dates with these women the beginning, but it was more about the fact that, like, even on those dates, I just felt like I was in the right place. I felt like that was where I should be. I it just was it was kind of like I couldn't go back to being with men because it just it just wasn't right. Like, and so if that's the only if that's the only kind of pants that you've ever tried, this is a terrible analogy. That's the only kind of pants know.
I think. You're Yeah. And you're like, okay, yeah, this fits me. Like I have a little bit uncomfortable role, but like, I can move my legs and I can walk around and that's what pants are supposed to do, isn't it? And then you buy a new pair of pants that fit you right or that are more comfortable. And then you're like, I'm never taking these off. I like it's a weird analogy, but that's really how it felt over this.
Like this clicks for me and I could have been ignorant when I had never tried it, but now that I tried it, I can no longer be ignorant to what I feel. And so in that, like hopefully that that came across right in that analogy, it makes it seem like this process was more of a spectrum deal in which you like, I guess, you know, the Kinsey scale, like you can be like different varying levels of gay and like, I'm not a scientist, I'm not a psychologist. I have no idea.
But I'm curious as to like, would you say that on the spectrum of, you know, being gay, you just never really enjoyed being with men as much as you thought you did until you started being with women? And then you realize, like, I didn't even really like that that much. I was just kind of conditioned to to be satisfied with that. Yeah, for sure. I always like I always joke that like, I went my, like, girlfriends.
I'm like, I always thought that everyone was in on the joke that none of us actually really liked us were all just saying that we did because it made us feel good.
Like I really thought that everyone was kind of on the same page as me being like, but I also will say that an interesting part of it that like I think is specifically for women because of the way that our society is set up, that for men it's like if a man finds another man like hot, attractive, it's like, they're like they're it's almost like more of a not a red flag, like more of an indicator for men, for women.
We all talk very openly about like, she's beautiful, she's gorgeous, like she's sexy, whatever. There's much more like openness about appreciating other women. And so I think that it made it harder for me not to, like, criticize like it's a it's an interesting of it. It made it harder for me to identify that how I was feeling was not how every other woman in the room was feeling like the whole idea of having a girl crush like guys don't have. I have a guy crush on this guy.
It's like it's like, man, no, no, they do. This is what I'm saying. But like, guys don't have that as a word. Like, it's just so easily kind of like, mixed into our culture, like, into, like, as a whole, like everywhere. I feel that it was harder for me to realize that how I was feeling about women was not how my friends were feeling. Yeah. That you knew. You said, she's beautiful. You meant like, she's beautiful. Not like, like, I wish I looked like her.
You were like, no, like I wish I was with her. And that's like, you know, it's a different thing. But that same terminology is often used. And, you know, I think that our society has evolved to a degree where, you know, it has become more fluid, like kind of on the whole, like I can say, I've never been afraid to say whenever I thought a guy was attractive. But I've also been okay with knowing that I didn't want anything besides that.
It's like I think Ryan Reynolds is, you know, is a gorgeous man, but at the same time, it's like, I don't want to do more than shake hands with them. Like, that's that's where I'm at with that. But that'll do it. But that but that might do something to me. I don't know. I won't know until we shake hands. But I really appreciate that struggle of having to once again define this your identity in comparison to other people who you think are like you.
And that's, you know, that's the struggle that we all face. And whenever it comes back to like you had to like we talked about that a couple of times already, you had to figure out what was actually right for you, regardless of what all those other people said. And I think that's that's an important.
Yeah, I think and I think that with like moving and with coming out, it felt similarly to me in the way that it was balancing what I like, not really being able to say out loud what I'm like, what I feel and like I want to move to another country. I want to come out like breaking through kind of what I had built up around me and saying, like, actually what I maybe what I built isn't built right. Maybe like it. Maybe this isn't what I intended to build or should have built.
And the idea of like knocking it over and starting over. I mean, there's a lot to be said about coming out when you're in your twenties and thirties when, like, you feel like a teenager again in the way that you don't know anything about, flirting about talking about like anything. And so it just it's easier to kind of like stay with the walls you built. It's harder to identify that these aren't the right walls and you need to change it, you know? Yeah, that's a it's a very good idea.
For how long were you an openly gay adult before you met your now spouse? Five years, I believe. Five years. So do you feel like you had time to find your place as a you know, which I don't know if you ever really do in this society, but I find your place as a gay adult in the world before you started in on a pretty serious relationship. Yes, I do.
And that was also I'll be honest and say by design, when I first came out, I was very much like I was dating a lot because I wanted to figure things out, you know?
Yeah. I will say that when I had met my partner, I think that the I think the cool thing that part of my exploration of it has been by being in a relationship like I think that being in a couple like serious couple with another woman it like I think that's part of what has helped me I think to not to identify myself grow within this community myself. I'm lucky enough to have a partner that like really encourages me to like, do whatever I want to do.
So like, she's somehow able to work the overnight shift and then go out to gay bars after it's it's honestly impressive. But yeah, she's wild. Yeah. So, but beyond that, it's just like I think that a really cool part of being gay and identify figuring yourself out is the fact that you like I talk about this all the time with my other queer friends that like when you come out as a woman, you define, you start to realize how much you relied on like gender roles for things.
Men like to plan the date to lean in and kiss after the date, like those types of things. And you get to define when you come out as queer that you were like, Am I the person that approaches or am I the person that gets approached? Am I the person that is going to be more assertive and say, Let's this time, this place? Or am I kind of like you get to kind of redefine yourself?
And so I think that part of that by being in a relationship, allows you to kind of like try out these different things, see yourself in this different way and encouragement from somebody. So I would say that it almost I probably learned more about myself as a queer individual by being in a relationship than by not.
And I think that just the whole process of of coming out kind of is a forced reset from, you know, whatever you thought that you were, that you existed in this world, that a lot of people don't ever take because there's not that thing oppressing you, making you ask that question. You know, me as a black man in the society like nothing happened to where I was. Like, it wasn't a surprise that I was white, you know, It was like, that's something I was born with.
But at a time in my life, whenever, you know, certain things kept happening, I had to I did reassess and try to reset what I thought about who I was and how I existed in the society and how to move forward with that. I feel like that is something that's just so many people don't do that Everybody should and define those things that kind of, you know, define how you are.
You move throughout the world and like, I'm glad that is, you know, with all the different things that come with coming out that a lot of positives came with it for you as well. Yeah. I mean, I would say mostly positive. Like I, I find myself to be lucky in a way.
Like it's almost a super power in this way that like how many people have gotten to define like I've gotten to figure out who they are in this way and gotten to have this almost like renaissance in like the in their twenties that like they get to live this new life and be more authentic. And like, I feel like I know myself better than some people because I've really had to do that exploring. I've really had to look at myself and say, What do you feel?
Let's be radically honest here with how you're feeling. And so to be given that opportunity, I actually think that like, I think that it made me a better, more well-rounded human. Yeah, I definitely think that that process, when you take it seriously, will make anybody a better, more well-rounded human. But you can also make your way through it and not get anything out of it. So, you know, get for sure you get the work that you put in out of it.
And I'm glad I'm glad that you you've done I'm kind of going back to your days as a reporter. So I had a local Fox News anchor on a male, but he talked me some about what he saw in his female co-anchors inbox on social media on the national level. Do you think that it's similar? I would say that it is. I would say that for me, what I experienced was more people that are just kind of yelling in my inbox about politics. It's like I didn't get as many comments.
I would say it's maybe because I wasn't on air as much I was producing. And so they were like, when you just have a bylines, when it says, like by Kendall Brightman, like you're going to get less of those kinds of comments. But I mean, I think that there is a an aspect to it that, like, it's my job to report the news and that sometimes men in particular would write and kind of call you stupid or try to educate you on what you're reporting on.
And so I think there was like a bit of that, but I do know that like reporters will will get in their inboxes and I will say that I was lucky enough that mine were mostly people getting upset that my they thought my article was too left or too right. Like no one's ever really happy of where you kind of fall with being objective. If you're like objective, then it doesn't take either side and then both sides are upset. So I think that that was more that was more what I experienced.
The the overall culture of news is kind of known as being, you know, fairly vain. Did you see that, you know, as a producer, did was anybody ever did were you ever given the position to put pressure on somebody to change something about the way it looked or to, you know, make somebody feel bad because they put on weight or anything like that? Not me like specifically.
I mean, I would see that my female colleagues who were on TV did have pressure to look a certain or speak a certain way or have their hair a certain way. But I think that for me, it seemed like unfortunately, that's how they kind of saw their job like that. That was part of their their job as they have to go and get the hair and makeup and then they have to go on what I but really who I what I what I was like dealing with for my coworkers and my colleagues would be on camera.
A lot of them are correspondents. So less like television news hosts. And so in that case, it's a different kind of ballgame. You know, like you go to Capitol Hill, you are wearing a certain outfit because that's what you have to wear on Capitol Hill, like a suit or something like that. But it was a lot less of that kind of gaining weight or things like that. I didn't feel that. But I will say that I did.
I did feel like there is definitely some competition between like there's a feeling of needing to stay on top of your game for women who are I wouldn't even say older like that's the problem is that like women have in like in this industry have like they they say like what does that say? Like a short shelf life is what they like.
Is this idea of like you can see a Brian Williams on on TV and you can see a who else like the like not that Brian Williams is like, it's just you can see these older men, but then the women kind of stay at the same age, you know. And so you really try to prove yourself. So there is this constant pressure for older women to prove themselves and make themselves kind of almost like legend type of status because you have to be that if you're going to be over a certain age, you're going to be on TV.
You have to be women are expected to be a legend, this icon type of thing, because that's what justifies for still being on TV. It's like it's pretty crazy in that way. I will I will definitely say it. Kendall, can you pause from real quick because I've stopped recording for some reason. Okay. All right. We're back after a little technical difficulty and I hope that everything is working well now. Everything set is recording, so we should be. Okay to pick up where we left off.
It kind of starting to wrap things up, but we had talked some about, I guess, the benefits of coming out and really defining your identity. And do you have anything else to add with that? No, I think that it's just it's I was lucky enough to have a really smooth experience that the hardest part of it was coming out to myself. So I think that that's like it's not like not I would say that normal it's not common is not as common for that to be the case. So I feel very lucky for that.
But I think that that's like it was a really great way to like, figure out more about yourself. Cool. And I feel like I want to be honest with myself and tell you I feel a little defeated right now. That was such a a marathon of misery, trying to get everything working again. But here's a thing. I mean, like, first of all, I respect that you are being authentic in that way, but I think that we had a great conversation. We had a great conversation.
I think that it was like we still have all of that. And we were talking for for a pretty decent amount of time. So I think we made a good amount, a good amount of content. So, you know, I mean, it's a bummer that there were some tech difficulties, but I. And I agree that we definitely made plenty of content. I just hate like feeling that the conversation was ended versus us ending it because I feel like we were kind of heading that way anyways.
But now I just I feel like I've not had to like, pick up and just end it. It's like it's a weird feeling, you know what I'm saying? Exactly What you're saying. But I will say that I think that it's going to happen. I was thinking about it too. I think that's something they were going to listen back on and be like, Wow, that was a really great conversation. So, I mean, I think that as we kind of talked about in this in this call, it's like you make a plan and then things come up and.
Then suddenly you're moving to the side of the world or refreshing your screen a million times, you know, same the same idea. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I'm like, one thing I didn't I hadn't asked you yet, but I tried to ask all my guess is what is often authenticity mean to you? For me, authenticity starts with myself I think that authenticity, you can be as authentic as you want kind of to everybody else, you know? But unless you, like, really are being true to yourself.
That's true authenticity. Everything that comes out of that, like how you present yourself to others as like without this wall, without this mask, I think that it first requires you to be authentic with yourself. So I say that authenticity is like being truthful and honest and not like I think that you can still, like, build walls in whatever place that you want. Being authentic doesn't mean that you have to be completely. Everyone knows everything about.
Me But it is being just truthful within yourself and and responding to that truth. Has there ever been a time whenever you were authentic and you felt like it was not in your best interest to do so? I think maybe moving. I think that that was like it was authentic that I wanted to do that. But then at the time I was like, Am I being crazy and leaving my career? And maybe this isn't the best move. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not being logical.
It's like almost it's exactly like thinking with your head or your heart. And usually people are saying that you're you should lean towards the head. So it's I think that that was the time that I was nervous about that. Yeah. And obviously it ended up working out pretty well for you because you had a great time there, right? Yeah, for sure. It's it was definitely it's both one of the it's one of the best decisions I ever made my life.
So I think that it's kind of it's worth it as long as you're being authentic with yourself. If anybody else was in this situation, I mean, I guess I kind of am. But similar to yours, what advice would you give as far as trying to leave other people's expectations and opinions there with them and staying true to yourself? I think that like my friend Andrew said, you're the only one that's going home and thinking about you in the way that you're thinking about you.
You're your own main character, I will say, for moving, because that is where we started the conversation. What I tell people when they're moving is that like it can be overwhelming really quickly, but the most that you can kind of make it an adventure the better. So like for me, I mean, I was dealing with the different language, like going to the grocery store and trying to figure out which was milk. And I bought yogurt by accident.
It was it's quite shocking to think that you're pouring milk and it's yogurt. So like, think of all of that stuff as an adventure. I think of finding your new bar that you love, an adventure. Think of finding a new restaurant because otherwise you get very overwhelming. But when you think of it as like, this is I'm exploring, I'm exploring a new part of myself, I'm exploring a new part of the world, I'm exploring. I don't know. It's I think that it makes life supposed to be an adventure, right?
So it makes it more fun. So being from New England and I'm moving to New England, do you have any advice? I would say maybe try to stay a bit away from what you were doing, try to find new things that you love doing there. I think that when you move back to a place, it can feel kind of like a back pedal when. It doesn't have to. So I would say that like, I think that it's very easy to move back somewhere and go to the places that you know and love or do the activities that you've done before.
But I think that that's it can make you feel like you're in a rut a bit quicker to. Say, no, I've never lived there before. you said that you're from to England. No, I said, you're from New England, aren't you? I thought. I thought that you're saying No, I'm from Pennsylvania, so it's like, close enough. It's Pennsylvania, not New England. It's not. Quite. No, not quite. Okay, then I would say, I would say it's like it's a different culture.
I mean, I haven't really I've only lived in in that area for my whole life, so I don't really know how it is compared to other parts of the U.S., But I would say try not to take yourself too seriously. I think people in that area, in that part of the world take this as a bit too seriously. And I think finding that out is an example of what I was just talking about, is having the adventure, you know, like trial and error and figuring it out. I think that I think that that's a.
and pack warm clothes. Pack warm clothes. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely plan on that. I'm terrified of how cold I'm going to be, but I'm also I'm excited for not having thousand degrees summers and balls and springs. Oklahoma's miserable if you didn't know that. No, I didn't. But you like. It's funny how your body changes to things. Like, I grew up in Pennsylvania and now here, if it's under like 50 degrees, I'm like, it's freezing. Like, I like my it's weird.
It's like it's it's your body will really adapt in an adjustment way. So, yeah. That's that's hopeful. Hopefully I'll get used to the cold if. What does the future look like for you? Are you still going to be do you plan on being Israel for the rest of your life or like, what does it look like? I don't know. I honestly kind of prefer it here in this because like, it's very mom and pop type of shop. So I was like, I can't really describe it. It's just the culture.
It's like you sit at a diner and you sit there for hours. Like, that's the activity for the night is like going out to dinner and sitting there for hours, like enjoying time, being spontaneous. I don't shop at gigantic stores. Like I go to this bakery that I know the people for my bread. There is a little stand for my vegetables. Like I just love that way of Mediterranean life.
So I don't really want to go back. But I think going back could be in my future because my partner is a doctor, and being a doctor in the United States is seen as like a goal for people who practice medicine around the world. So I wouldn't be if we at one point came back. But I, I really like my life here and I see my future as kind of as being here or being somewhere on the Mediterranean, just like the I like the pace of life a bit more.
Well, is there anything that I haven't asked you about today that you'd like to share with the audience? I think we're just about we just about covered it. Yeah. I think, I think I that we got into it. I think so too. I think it was a great conversation. Yeah. Technical difficulties aside, it's still. It was amazing. I really enjoyed myself. And if you don't have anything else to add, I'll wrap up now. It's been absolutely great getting to know you better.
Hopefully a better friend and we'll stay in contact. I really enjoyed it. Yeah, me too. I think I've really loved our conversation, so thank you so much for having me on and thank you for creating the space to be so authentic because that's not something that you get everywhere. So I really appreciate that you've created the space. Well, thank you very much. And if my audience has enjoyed today's episode, please take the time to review it on your favorite platform.
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It's exhausting to love someone else's life, live authentically, and access the potential that belongs only to you. You can contact me on social or email me at Bruce, an authentic identity management icon. We could set up a free 30 minute consultation, as in for today's episode Thank you again to Kendall Brightman for being so gracious with their time. I really enjoyed it and to everybody out there listening, please be yourself and love yourself by everyone but everyone.