Great. Hello and welcome back to Authentic On Air. I'm your host, Bruce Alexander. We're doing it. We are out on the road on our impulsive journey. We pulled into Rockaway Beach, Missouri today, staying across the street from the lake and living our best life. I'm not going to lie. It's a little stressful. Not knowing what is going to happen next in this journey of ours is a little bit terrifying. And I'll get back into that in just a minute. First, let's catch up. The body journey continues.
My back is getting better and as I've started to increase the ability to move and be a little bit more flexible, pushing the box a little further and have started to add some HIIT training back into my life. The tiniest bit of HIIT, but I didn't want to go with this new space of flexibility coming into my life and not capitalizing on it. And it's been really hard because like I've had strep.
I've been, you know, I think I'm, I'm coming off of the imbalance of going off of Adderall, going off of testosterone a few months ago, um, which was not something I planned on doing with testosterone. It's just something that leaving the insurance that I had, it was no longer covered and I'd never figured out a new plan. Um, it's something that I plan on getting back on in the future because it did help a lot, but.
I feel like I'm going through these constant dips of my immune system kind of fighting back against me. So coming off the strap, trying to increase my workout intensity has been tough. But the thing that remains the same is you show up and you do the work to the best of your ability. It's been hard to not pre -describe how much I'm going to finish and to say, well, I'm just not going to try because I feel sick, blah, blah, blah. I've taken a walk every single day since I've started this.
And then today I added, I added some hills to my walk. And then I also did some modified burpees for my very large frame. But adding that hit is really the ability to do that has got me really excited because that means for one, I've made enough progress to be able to flexibly do any sort of higher intensity workout. And I'm going to start seeing progress a lot sooner. whether that progress is more flexibility and mobility or that progress is a more comfortable frame. I don't care.
Either one of those things allows me to be a more active father, a more active leader in my household. And that's super, super exciting for me. So that's good news. Um, my balance, the relationship between my wife and I continues to develop, continues to get deeper, more, more intimate and more connected. in a real level. It's important to note that we both used to think that we were pretty deeply connected.
And I think a lot of that has to do with how much of the pain of our relationship we ignored on a day to day basis. We don't ignore anything anymore. Everything is out on the table. Her anxiety that has bothered me in the past is being a topic of conversation. in which I'm now being supportive versus being blameful. And that has really, that has changed the dynamic a lot. I am no longer trying to hide from my responsibilities as a father, as a husband.
I'm definitely talking about my weaknesses once more and, or not, I'm sorry, talking about my weaknesses a lot more. And I also accept my strengths. Like I'm just living in the truth. I'm taking the feedback I'm being given and I'm acting on it. And that's not something that I had done for a long time. For a long time, I only heard what was good and I ignored what was bad.
And then whenever I got through that initial stage and I started to develop a little bit, I only heard what was bad and I ignored everything that was good. I felt really bad about myself and I beat myself up and constantly prostrated and trying to try to get her to forgive me. Like, just forgive me, please, I'm so sorry, I sucked so bad. And I want her to forgive me, but I don't want to. be so stuck in the past that I'm not able to grow into the future.
So my current stance is like, I feel like this is like the levels of grief or something, but like the levels of personal development is now I am, I take responsibility for the past, but I don't get stuck in it. Like when we talk about things that have happened and I, you know, I apologize for them. I validate her emotions. I feel my emotions about what thing I did. And then I process through them. and try to learn a lesson from it. And then I try to grow and move forward.
I don't get stuck there anymore. And that has allowed us to have a much healthier conversation about everything in our relationship. And as we're pushing through this trip, it is requiring me to be very supportive to allow her to heal and grow so we can actually step into the next phase of our relationship and. It's the ultimate test for me being like living the life that I'm trying to coach is can I show up and be a constant in her life?
Can I be an unconditional husband because she needs my support more now than ever in order to learn to trust herself again and learn to listen to her inner voice and not shrink away from the anxiety and the emotions that scare her so much. Like that is my responsibility that I have taken on because I was a large instrument in the disabling of her ability to trust herself.
Like that's what gaslighting over a long period of time does is it makes a person feel like they can't believe their own thoughts. And I, it wasn't my intention, but I take responsibility because I was afraid to deal with my emotions. So I smushed hers and it's really unfortunate, but your actions have consequences.
And if you're any sort of, I want to say, man, if you're any sort of human being, whenever those consequences are taken out on somebody you love, I think you should take responsibility and help clean them up. Like I am taking responsibility and helping. be a solution to the problems I created because I love her and I want us to be together forever. And I guess I could say it's selfish because I don't want her to be a broken version of herself forever.
I will love her regardless, but I want her to be the best version of herself because that's who I get. But if she doesn't ever grow and heal, as long as I do my job and I show up as the best partner I can be, our relationship will still be better because I brought my game up. And that's, you know, that is my general philosophy towards the relationship right now is bring the best version of me to the table.
So no matter what our relationship is improving by my effort, because that's all I can control. I can't control how much he heals or grows. I can control the environment and scenarios that I, I set up to allow for her healing, but even that is going to be out of my control sometimes. but I can still be the best version of me because I'm putting in the work. I'm showing up every day, trying to be supportive, kind, patient and graceful. That's where we're at in the balance.
Things with the kids are going pretty well. Some days are better than others. There's a lot of things up in the air. They don't have a lot of answers right now. And I think that that confusion makes it hard for them to fully trust the process. And that's okay. They're allowed to have those feelings and they're totally valid. And I try to answer them to the best of my ability.
And whenever I can, I say, sometimes I just, you know, I don't have the answer right now, but as soon as I know, you'll know. And they take that pretty well. My kids are pretty understanding, but sometimes they do act out a little bit. And I have to remember that they are human beings. Like they're not always going to be perfect and they don't have to be just because I. I get these perfect children so often doesn't mean that I should expect them to be perfect. I just get to enjoy that.
Like honestly, whenever I whenever I'm balanced, whenever like my mind is right, whenever they're not perfect, it's just as fun as when they are. But sometimes my shit isn't together. So like that's just, you know, how I turn it back on myself is I have to take the responsibility to be the best version of myself. So I enjoy. the people in my life to the greatest capacity. So that's the body so far, the balance. With the business, I've been, I'm still seeing my current clients.
I have not been working on my lead magnet as much as I need to. Once again, trying to get all the daily basics done to make sure that I've got my mind right, that I'm taking care of my body. The business has been getting left out just a little bit. Like I've been doing all of my daily postings. I'm still trying to build my movement. So trying to reach out to my audience, but I need to be working on building leads and that is going to be through my webinar.
So I actually put my, like put myself on a clock and made myself do some work on my webinar yesterday. And I felt really good. I don't know why I keep putting it off because I really enjoy the work. I love talking about this stuff. So it's, it's really important that I, I remember that just because it's work, it's not the work that I'm used to.
in the past, you know, because as I'm, as I'm, you know, kind of in flux, whenever there's a familiar, uh, a familiar scenario, I kind of, sometimes I throw back the default and I start to think about how things used to be. And I don't want to operate that way. I want to constantly be trying to push myself to engage in the way things are now. Like that's the goal, engage in the way things are now, engage in the truth of now and do the best that you can today.
And so yesterday, having done that felt really good. And like, I think that I can have my webinar ready to launch. The webinar ready to launch by next week and then get the funnel ready to launch within the next seven days after that. And that'll be really exciting. And I'll start being able to drive some leads that way. And I think that it's going to be the client base that really makes sense for me.
because they're going to be people who are ADHD, who are looking to learn to trust their, learn to trust their inner voice again, learning to trust their impulses for the first time ever, learning how to direct their special gifts and who they are specifically into something that is going to give them purpose and passion for their life. And that is very exciting for me because that is what is working for me. That's the life I'm living and it is bringing me great satisfaction.
And I want that for, All ADHD parents. So that's the business. And then, you know, my being my, my relationship with God and my inner voice, like it is a little harder to stay in tune with my morning routine every morning. I'm finishing it every day, but whenever you're on the road a lot, it is hard to get everything done before we hit the road.
And then I'm like stretching it out through the drive and there's, uh, You know, there's distractions of children and stops and all this stuff, making excuses, but I'm still getting it done. But I promise you it is so much more powerful when you get your morning routine done, you get your mind right before you step into the day. Like I am just so much more effective. I'm so much more grateful and appreciative for the opportunities and for the conversations and for the people in my life.
Whenever I do like everything that is on my checklist for my body being balanced in business before I start my day. I feel so much more powerful and some of the days I've been on the road, I've been able to do that really well. And I've had really great conversations in my stacks and I've gotten some deep guidance from God and it has really felt good. And then other days I haven't. So it's, you know, it's a continual battle.
It is not going to be one or lost in one day, but it is showing up every day and doing my very best. And I'm proud to be doing that. So that is it. That's the overall catch up now. As you all know, like we've been on this journey for a little over a week now, but this is the first day that we've officially been out of everything that we've known and my, the message that I interpreted from my inner voice or God or whatever. I think it was God.
Like that's where it feels like to me was to lead your family out of everything that you have ever known. And. I didn't realize that. Like I initially was thinking it's like, okay, we're supposed to get out of Oklahoma city. And as we were in Tulsa, I was still kind of like, I wasn't really feeling anything new. And then I did a stack and in that sack, I realized it said out of everything that you know. And I was like, this is where we met. We met in Tulsa.
This is not out of everything that we know. Then we went to Fayetteville and was like, we went here on our last vacation. This is not out of everything that we know. We know this place. We've got all these memories here. This is part of our past relationship history. We are trying to get away from everything that we know to rewrite the story of us.
Like that is not all we're trying to do, but that is part of this journey is to rewrite the story of us, to release all those past stories, all those limiting narratives that we've had for who we are as a couple and as a family to start into something new and powerful. And today is the first day that we are out of our comfort zone completely. I don't think I've ever even been. No, I've definitely never been to the, to the cert, the current subdivision we're at, but it's outside of Branson.
I don't even think I've ever been to Branson, been to Missouri before, but this is, this is uncharted territory for us as a family. So we are doing it. And so as we're doing it, obviously it's like, what am I doing? This feels a little scary. Kate is definitely having mixed. thoughts. Some day she's really excited. Some day she is terrified and thinks that we made the wrong decision. Our house got listed today as well. So this is really the beginning of the next phase.
Our house is officially on the market. Like to me, it's like we are at the point of no return. You know, for us, we are a day or two drive away from our home. Our house is listed like that. Sorry, it's not our home anymore of our house, our home. is where we are together. That's where home is for me now. And so all of these things, they're finally taking place. And now it becomes the Odyssey. Now we're officially on the journey. Everything is happening.
We're giving all of everything that we know up. And. I'm really excited. I really am super. super eager to see what the next step that is revealed for us is, but also like there's this, there's this terror really deep down in my heart that it's not going to be revealed, that there is going to be no further instruction, that we are going to be left out here in the dark.
But I know that that's not what God has in store for us, but my mind is human and fear is something that I often give into, but I refuse to lose to it permanently. Just because I give him momentarily doesn't mean I'm going to let it control my narrative anymore. It's like, oh shit, I'm really scared. But instead of letting that be my driving decision maker, I'm going to make decisions based off of my desired goals and results.
And I'm just going to, I'm just going to feel this fear and just say, and just tell you, I'm going to tell my audience, however small it is. This shit is scary. I'm going to tell my wife like, yeah, I'm scared too, but I'm also really excited because that's true. You know, it's not me just trying to be toxically positive and saying, everything's going to be all right. This feels so good. It's me saying, yeah, I'm scared, but yeah, I'm super excited to see what is going to happen next for us.
There's literally unlimited possibilities as to where we could go from here. So why should I be unhappy about that? It is reasonable to be afraid, but fear is a good indicator that you're doing something right. It's a good indicator that you are heading into a place of discomfort and discomfort is a good sign of growth. So I want to grow. Expansion is my goal on this plane in this life. I want to be the best version of myself that I could possibly be whenever I leave this plane.
So whatever happens next, I know that I'm prepared for it. And this is obviously uncomfortable. This is wild. Jumping from Airbnb to Airbnb, trying to move.
thousands of miles away without a in destination already picked out already booked already we don't have a place but I've also put out feelers to anybody who and this goes to anybody who's listening now if you happen to know anybody in the southern Vermont or upper the upstate New York area who has a rental or is trying to trying to take on a family of six with a couple of dogs and a cat.
please reach out to me because we are currently looking and you know, it's, it's hard to find a place from this far away, but we're just going to get there. We're going to slowly plot our way there. We're going to take as much time as it takes to get there. It's going to cost money. It's going to cost. It is going to be this. I just going to be uncomfortable, but that's okay. This discomfort is like the more uncomfortable is the more that we are going to learn about ourselves.
The more we are going to have to grow together as a family. the closer Kate and I are going to have to grow together to survive it and to arrive on the other side as the best version of our relationship. And that is the impulsive journey. That is what we're going on. If we had denied our impulses and stayed with what we've been doing our entire lives, I know that we would have been, I'm not going to say cursed as a relationship, but that's the closest word I can think of.
because there would have been this mark, this permanent mark on our relationship that said you were supposed to do something, but you chose to hide again. And not only did you chose to hide, you and your wife chose to hide and you hid this thing that you were called to do from your children. And that like that would have messed me up. So I'm so glad that we are accepting this call from God. We are listening to this urge in our hearts and we are just moving and we are going.
And I don't know where I don't know where our next stop is. Like we're going to stay here tonight, tomorrow night. And I'm sure Kate and I will talk tomorrow night and figure out where we're going next. See what feels right. But I'm excited. I'm going to keep it short because once again, I want to enjoy my family throughout this process. I don't want to spend too much time recording. Yeah, so I'm going to just wrap it up here and I will.
Talk to you guys again next week or every day on our live stream that I do live every day at around the same time. So please like follow and all that stuff. And if you are interested in having a further conversation about how you can uncover your impulsive potential, then hit me up in the comments or go to www .impulsive .life forward slash consult and set up a free consultation where I will give you at least.
three strategies or techniques that will help you start to release the guilt, remorse and shame that you feel from being an ADHD parent and start to live impulsively. Thank you so much. I will talk to you next week. Bye.