Welcome to Authentic on Air with Bruce Alexander. I'm your host Bruce Alexander. Our guest today is Christina Rose and she refers to herself as the Clutter queen as an avid advocate of ADHD awareness. She had me at Hello, What's that over there? But first, today's reflection. Can you be your best in a mess? I cannot I can't honor any part of myself when this organization has taken hold. These triggers for me are deep rooted.
The connection to shame and guilt is obvious now, but the positives of organization remain. As we sit today with our guests, I hope you will think about your relationship with Ms. and your best and challenge yourself to be honest. And as always, I am genuinely interested and would love to hear any interesting, surprising or revelation insights you uncovered so you can hit me up on Instagram or Facebook threads or LinkedIn. Authentic Identity Management.
At some point, avalanche of insights will crush me. Until then, I'll keep asking. As I sat down to write for this episode, I found myself at a loss for words. I was as surprised as you probably are hearing it, even if they are sometimes the wrong words, they're usually easy. Coming up. Most of the time, as I prepped for Christina, I kept seeing the phrase getting your shit together after an unknown period of time, staring at the blinking insertion point at my blank screen,
the obstacle materialized. Fear. Do I have my shit together across me? Said someone who also like me has ADHD. But she has made a career out of Reprograming herself and others to rise above this limitation. Whether she sees me, sees it, I am where she started and I am full of doubt that I will ever be successful again. I've talked about the paralyzing power of fear. Previously on this show. I've been afraid so much of my life. I've experienced so much uncertainty.
I've learned from it, grown from it. And I know honesty is the way through. Hi, Christina. I like you, have ADHD. I like you want to have a career coach who I must overcome, but I spent a lot of time struggling with. I am scared I will fail my family by okay with that. I hope you do see me. And I hope my honesty creates space for you to share your story with the authentic on air audience. Welcome to the show, Christina. Thank you so much for having me. Bruce That was really, really good.
You know, here's the thing is what people need to understand. Give yourself grace and keep moving forward. You know, today is a new day. We are all blessed to be on this earth right now. So just always be evolving, being and learning this individual and the rest will just come. As great advice. I will hopefully take that to heart and keep moving forward.
So just to rewind a little bit in your own words, can you tell our audience who you are, how you spend your time, and why you think I invited you on the show? Absolutely. So my name is Christina Rose and I'm a chronic disorganization specialist. I specialize in the mind, body and home, and I am a coach as well. And I have a program. It's called Getting Your Shit Together and Shed actually stands for self care, happiness, inner peace, and time.
So it's one of those things that when you look is that it could be such an ugly word. And when you turn it into something beautiful and you have something to look forward to every day of how I'm going to get my shit together today, it really takes on a new whole new world and it just truly evolves into that as well. And the most important thing about that is self. When you are taking care of yourself, you're able to pour from World Cup because you're Cup throwing it over and then guess what?
You are able to genuinely help other people, Help yourself. You feel better, you look better, your mind is clear. With us with ADHD is we're chasing. That doesn't mean I so it's we get so caught up in the everyday and we lose focus of time that we tend to forget to take care of ourselves. I didn't go to the gym today or I didn't eat till 8:00 at night and that's not taking care of ourselves because we're not putting the things in our body.
We are, you know, are we do a deadline, we wait till the very last minute and then we like, work all through the night, pull a couple of all nighters to make sure that the job is done. Well. How is that taking care of yourself So you're literally just draining your cup. So it is so important to each and every day is to take care of yourself so you can take care of others. Absolutely. I think that's really poignant.
So knowing all of that as a person with ADHD, how do you have a confidence to coach others in this organization? And of all things. I'm because I've lived it and I'm still living in each and every day. I was in corporate America for the last 20 years and I was in casual dining and fast food and my life was not at time management. It was restaurant for everybody else.
I got a house somewhere down there and in the world, and it was a realization of during 2020, I went through a healing journey and spiritual journey, and I learned really quickly, I don't have my shit together. And I was 85 and dead. I literally breathed on fumes. You know, I was pregnant. And it just was like, there has to be a better way. I was living in flight or flight from all the trauma that I had endured in my childhood and in my adult life. And I just kept going. I didn't stop.
I didn't move. I just kept going. Well, when I went through this spiritual journey, it was okay, habit. I have to reprogram my brain. I So that's where my mindset comes in. So that's where the mind of getting your shit together. But I did the chronic disorganization specialist because when your mind is right, magical things can happen.
But when we're filled in, when we're constantly talking about ourselves in a negative outlook, when the world, you know, we have basically sterilization, you know, we've got to have that body double to do things like that. But when you don't have anybody or you're depressed or you have a diety or you've been through so much trauma like you just talked about while they go with the route, okay, if there can be at the most beautiful flower bed.
But when you start looking at clothes, if you don't take care of that flower bed and get in there every single day and pull those weeds from the root, more and more are going to come back. So when I go in to these people's homes and when I was looking at myself, I had to heal my trauma from that group. You know, I had to get down and reprogram my brain from the root. And when we do that, magical things can start happening because guess what? You do have inner peace.
Now you have found your happiness. So then it all ties in together. And what's the one thing we can control throughout our day is our time. But we always let our time control us. I know a little bit about that. My wife, who's listening right now, definitely tell you that time blindness is a huge issue for me. As I was listening to you say that, you know, you talks about healing deep trauma as a coach. Do you feel qualified to deal with that part of helping somebody reprogram themselves?
I give them educational tips of what I have researched with ADHD and, you know, things that I have learned. Give them books to read. You know, more of from a scientific point. You know, I give them books to read. I give them, you know, lessons to do. But when it comes to being a therapist, like, I'll be here, sit on my couch, I will be your you know, I will let you get it all out. But I do encourage seeing somebody, you know, on the way over here, I was on the phone with my therapist.
You know, I mean, it's something every Wednesday morning without felt, I am up. I'm ready to go. So 7ami get on the phone with her every single day and it's people need to understand it's not a let's put it in the closet. You know, they're there to just help. You know, we don't need to bring everything back up to the surface and, you know, relive anything. We just need to be able to know that's the trigger. How do I reprogram that and how do I release and let it go?
Because you don't necessarily after that, every single bit of your trauma to heal. Right. But you also need to do the inner work to be able to heal and release it because I no longer serve you. It's not doing anything for you anymore.
And when you're able to do that, when you're able to release that from your mind, and then those limiting beliefs that sometimes we don't even realize we have because our subconscious is formed between the ages of seven and 14 from the ages of 0 to 4, we are in the theta state. So what that means is everything they literally it's like a sponge.
I mean, it's when you are so far up on your manifestation level, you're basically living in a different reality because you see and hear everything from different things. That's what a 0 to 4 year old is there. They're learning so much and you can absorb all of that. And so it's very crucial to be able to help your self understand that, that you don't have that control and being able to release it and let it go.
But also on the children side, then you can actually help them develop the great skills and believe me, like this is why I'm doing this, because guess what? I have a 16 year old that I have is not this way with, you know, I literally got the best of me. I didn't do good in school, so I went into customer service, was really good at it. That's and I kept telling myself, that's the best I can do, you know? And then I woke up, I literally woke up and it's a whole new world out there.
And that's what I want to be able to help my clients with is understanding, Yes, life is hard no matter if you've been through trauma, no matter if you are living the most glorious life in Bali, life is hard, but you are hard. And when you keep learning and you keep growing, I mean, that's what we're supposed to do as humans is evolve and learn and grow. It's okay to take a different path. It's okay to do something different.
And I promise you, the only ones judging you are the ones that have the insecurities about themselves, right? So I have a theory about people developing kind of compared to the operating system. Like everything before, we're at the age of 18 is basically our beta phase and we're just, you know, just a really a prototype after 18 and, you know, version 18 to 21, version one drops. What version of yourself do you think you're on at this point? I would probably say I'm about version number one.
Look at least 10 to 11. Wow. And just because I have I've have evolved so much, like I said, I, I did not have the best childhood in the sense of 12 to 18. But I have seen a lot in my life, you know, been through a lot, seen a lot. So to me, I can honestly say I kept going. I didn't heal from it, but I kept going. But I would say I truly am in the best chapter of my entire life. And it's it's truly amazing to see how far I've come. And what it.
What do you think has spurred on the development of each of those versions? So one by a I'm going to prove you wrong aspect growing up, you know, and I come home. My mom was an addict. My family there's a lot of my family that are addicts and I never wanted to be like them. So I always tried to do the opposite, you know, and I wanted to live a good life. And so it was like always like, okay, I have to keep doing more.
And I have always just been the most forgiving person, the most loyal person, you know, That's just who I am. I'm a giver. And, you know, and I always see the good in people. There is good in everybody. It's just sometimes it's varied. And so my overall mission in life is to just help others, you know what I mean? Because when I am helping others, I'm ultimately helping myself because it makes me continuously rise.
You know, if I'm going to ask you to do something, I am that type of person that is going to do it right there beside you or have already done it. And my biggest motto is do unto others what you how you before and be treated. So I do that in every aspect. You know, like how is someone going to pay for my services when I'm not even living? You know, my life is not perfect. You know, not everything in my house is organized, but I live a functional system life.
You know, I work, I have a day management program, but I have to work on that daily in my clients are just something that keeps me going. So that's why I love it. It's like when you get in business for yourself or when you're doing something for yourself that surely makes you happy. You're never working a day in your life and you are living your best life because you are moving forward.
You know, I have an uncle that truly is a brilliant businessman and his motto is just having fun, literally just having fun. And that's what he was, you know, because life is too short. I lost my mom when I was 22. And, you know, it's like I said, I've seen a lot. So life is precious. And, you know, it's one of those that it can really be seen from a different set of eyes. You know, you just have to clean your classmates. That's before you talk about addiction a little bit.
Can you tell me some more about that? And also, is that what you lost your mother to. So I grew up my mother's side of the family were addicts. And it's a it's an awful thing. It really is. And I just decided, like I said, I was not going to be there. My mom had a few car wrecks, hurt her back, and the doctor prescribed prescription drugs for her. I can honestly say my mom was magical when I was a little girl.
Magical pageants hence helps to cut her clean, but she got hooked on prescription drugs and it spiraled for years and she, my brother as well, was addicted. But he was more on the meth and things like that. And so she got sober because she needed to get his kids. So the Child Protective Services came in, so she needed to get his kids. So she went to rehab. And I'm happy to see that she was clean the last five years of her lives.
But the damage had already been done to her body and she got pancreatitis while the pancreas exploded. And within three days I was they were trying to do the fluids to flush her system out. And she went into kidney failure. And then she went very dead. And within three days, I lost my mother. And that was a very pivotal moment. You know, I kind of had to grow up, you know, I had to take custody of my brother's children.
I had a child myself, you know, my oldest, he was only 11 months old at the time. So, you know, I'm I'm a kid myself having to plan funerals and take care of all of that. And, you know, then I have extra responsibility that just was tacked on to me. So I that was another reason why I really when I completely different directions and than that is because I never wanted my kids to be around that and I never wanted to be around that.
And like I said, it's, it's and, you know, you hear all the time now we're people are overdosing on fentanyl and it's just like it's just awful. I just I don't wish, you know, Al-Anon is a great resource, you know what I mean? To understand, you know, because sometimes you can be the enabler. And, you know, I was like, yes, I know you want to help them. That's your kid or that your spouse or whatnot.
But that's just something they're battling their own set of demons, you know, and you can be there. But sometimes they just don't want the help, you know, and you just need to be there when they are. But you might need to love them from afar. Like you said, they were 22 and that's I guess. Yeah. That's a lot. And it really was, you know, and it's one of those things that it's one of my parts of my story that I try to use for good to tell people, you know, I like, keep going, don't give up.
Yeah. You know, and if you are trying to get sober, are your eight days sober, are your whatever. Just one more day, guys. Just just for today. Remain sober and then get up in the morning and do it all over again. 22 years old, you have an 11 month old and you were taking on two more children that were holding it. So now, actually, I took on four children. I took on four children. Yes. So 13, ten for two. And then my 11 month old, oh, my gosh. How how hard was that?
I did what I always did and just kept going. Like I literally told 2020 that a mask, you know, just another hit, too. You just move on, you know, put put your big girl pants on and just move on. I really will say I didn't cope with the loss of my mom probably till about a year and a half later, just because it was I've got to I got to be the adult, you know what I mean? Like the these kids were all just completely turned upside down. Yes, I know that that was my mom.
But I can't imagine being that young. And one minute the person, the only stability you ever had in your life just left. Yeah. So I remained with Cassidy for almost three years, and it was taking our toll on my even, you know, it already taken a toll on my mental health, but so much that I was felt like I was no longer being the parent that my son deserved. And there were some problems because of the past that they have had. And so I yeah, I went ahead and gave up my right, you know what I mean?
And I just I couldn't do it anymore for the sake of my child, you know, I had to learn that it was my responsibility. So it was your brother. So I would picture at this point. I believe he is in prison. Well, I know for a fact he's in prison, I'm sure, for some kind of drugs. I he's 45. My hope for him is one day he just sees, you know, like you have grandchildren now you have more children now. Like, I hope that he this maybe this time in prison might change. I don't know.
I just like I said, I will always love my brother, but I'm just going to love him way out there. And he doesn't get get close. So so I mean, giving up the kids had to have been hard. What happened to them. So luckily, the kid's mother was able the kid's mother, mother, grandmother. So the grandmother was able to take them. I do know the all of this is in prison as well. And the young one, of course, my mother had physically adopted three of them.
But then there was another one that came in after the adoption. I do know that he has autism and things like that, which doesn't surprise me, but I can't tell you where they are or anything like that. You know, I just I hope that they are truly living their best lives and I wish them nothing but love and understanding, you know? So the show is about authenticity. And some people think that that means only leaning into the parts of yourself that you believe are good.
And to me, that has so much more to do with realizing your limitations, seeing where your weaknesses are, seeing what's hurting you and what's toxic, and also what you can't control. So that this, you know, is a lesson in having to let something go. I just it's an extreme lesson. I can't imagine how hard that would have been, but it
allowed you to flourish in your life. And, you know, I, I don't dare think what it would have been like if you would have tried to hang on and how that would have been a disservice to everyone involved. So, you know, I appreciate your self-awareness to be able to do that. How soon after that was the point where you felt like you woke up and started being active in your life?
I mean, here's the thing is, like I said, I everything that's happened throughout my life, my my rate, my molestation, you know, trauma from my husband's at 100% disabled veteran, PTSD, you know, losing my mom, you know, just all of these things. I literally just kept going. You know what I mean? Like it was I have a child. I need to make sure I do that. That's for him. Just keep going. So I can honestly say I did not start really taking that mask off till about two and a half years ago.
In relation to giving the kids you were 25 when you gave the kids up and I will do that. So let me ask. Absolutely. I'm 38, so I literally got married a year later and we're still together today. So I just like that. It's like, Oh, that looks close. Let me let me just move on, you know, and you know, it it, it even made my ADHD worse because now I never dealt with any of my group issues. You know? Oh, that's another one. Just keep doing it. Oh, I've been through where you just keep moving on.
And it came to a head, you know, like it's one of those that I woke up one day and I didn't know who I am. I didn't know why I'm doing this for, you know, And it's like I look around, everybody sees me as this. I like she has her life together. No, I didn't have my life together. And I'm still working on it very, very, very hard each and every day. And I think that that's the most important thing with my coaching skills.
But I'm telling you to do either I've been through it or I'm working through it right now as we speak. You know, I am going to be your accountability partner, and I'm not here to sugarcoat something. So if you want something, sugarcoat it. I'm not your girl in the sense of you can push yourself a little further, you know, and I will help anybody. I will be there for you. But you have to do the work yourself, right? I'm not going to I'm going to hold your hand as long as you're right here.
But my hand doesn't reach very far back like that. You talk about just just keep going. How are you in this? In this way is not in the most positive sense. You were just chugging along and just putting one step in front of the other without actually putting an active thought into what you've been through, thinking about your story and how it's affecting your decisions on a day to day.
The benefit of that is that you're able to, you know, get through pretty much anything because you're not actually actually engaging with your life. Right? That detachment allows you to be able to handle a lot. But as you found years later, it feels better to actually actively feel like you're living your life, right? Oh, and I didn't realize how bad I was and flattered. Flight and how so many of us are going fight or flight. And it's a whole new world.
It's when it's it's amazing how much better you feel. How more like the stress like right now should be the most stressful time you know, of everything of going through everything, of learning all of this stuff and dealing with all of this. But it's just truly amazing because my mindset is completely different. I know who I am, I know what makes me happy and I know what the what the end goal. Since, you know, and that's so important. It's because I write it down. I look at it.
What is that one thing that I can do for myself to get me there? Because I guess what you could do any literally, I know that we were told this as a kid, but guess what? You really can do anything you want to do as long as you continue to work for it and as long as you put your mind to it. But we give up that close right, Because it's too hard. Or it's that limiting belief of Sam. Not for me. So and so can have it, but not me. So and so can do that. But not me, can I? I can't do that.
And that limiting belief gets you in trouble nine times out of ten. I don't listen to what my mind says because my mind says, Turn off that alarm ten times. My mind says, I don't need to go to the gym. And that's where you know, because guess what? Now I can listen. My brain has slowed down enough of it. I've gotten out of flight or flight that it has slowed down enough for me to realize what it's trying to tell me and when it's not in my best interest, I'm not listening. I control my brain.
My brain does not control me. And, you know, I'm a big part of my coaching is advocating self awareness and especially as ADHD people, we can get caught in masking and never leave, just not even realize that we're being somebody else to try to fit into whatever.
I did it for almost ten years as a firefighter, trying to be trying to fit in, trying to, you know, trying to make these people like me whenever I wasn't even showing them me, I was trying to show them what I thought they wanted and they didn't like it. Surprised. And then that just made me do it harder and more and just never ending cycle. I think your story really helps highlight that.
A difference of finding, finding yourself and then leading from there instead of trying to figure out where you fit and then trying to make yourself heard. What I mean, I as you were saying that, I mean, it just all these flooded memories came back because, yes, that's what I've done my whole life. Just okay, what more do I need to do to fit in with these people? Okay, I'm at work. What more do I need to do to be the best employee?
So, you know, people like me and people are going to be my friend or, you know, Oh, what are you and I refuse to do that anymore. You know, I refuse for people to let them take my energy. You know, it's a magical word. It's called boundaries. It is magical. And it is like absolutely amazing. And guess what? You get to control that for a lot of people, don't. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh, I'm not going to get too invasive about. You mentioned sexual assault.
That's your story to tell how much you want to share of it. But how did that affect how you interacted with the world or didn't interact with the world? Once again, I have just released this, but it it was such a long, drawn out process. It wasn't just a one and done that.
I pretty much disassociated myself with my body, you know, And I think that's I always say I'm a Gemini, so I always say I was with the other twins and I looking back, I think the rape and the last session helped me in this sense of this that I had already disassociated with my body so much that I didn't feel I was so numb to everything that it helped keep going. Does that make sense? And so but it did, and it still does to this day.
Like I still have a hard time with people just like I'm the biggest. How if I want to hug you and Southern girl, hey, they're all you know. But when somebody just comes up behind me, it's like I am scoping out like, you know, it makes me very uncomfortable, you know, even my kids just and touching me. And it's something that I still work on every day.
And here's the thing is, you know, if this circumstances happened to you, you know, whether and just because that I dealt with it this way, somebody else might deal with it in a whole different and neither one is right or wrong. Just Do yourself a favor and make sure you do the inner work and heal and release that because it's not fair for you to carry on that burden.
I can honestly say like I am an open book because at the end of the day, my story might help another girl that's on here and she she is in that corner crying because she doesn't want anybody to touch her. She has disassociated with herself and guess what? That's their issue, you know, And don't let them have the beauty of the rest of your life. You know, don't let them steal your joy. Don't let them steal your thunder.
Don't let them steal your beauty and I just hope that, you know, they can be able to heal and move forward from it, you know? I mean, but I will say I did have a lot as I was doing work with my inner self and self awareness is I didn't realize how much like I could turn myself off in a dime. You know, that's where it's like I live, where you're being your authentic self because it was so easy to become that body double of, you know. So it's one of these it's now people are seeing me.
They're like, Where? What are you doing? I'm like, No, I'm taking me. This is me. Like, I'm no longer wearing the mask. This is this is how you get like or not, you know, and this is me. You're there. You you don't. Have your relationship suffered from anything. You've me relationships that were suffering from that. Oh, absolutely. I stand up for myself. So the boundaries I've lost some friendships and family members due to that.
And then I've, you know, it's one that I always use to go with the flow, you know, like wouldn't speak my peace or if they upset me, I'd just bury it down. So now I really feel that a true friendship, if we're able to tell each other when we hurt our feelings and hey, girl, you know, like you say, you're getting your shit together, but you're doing this, this and this are you. Are you really? You know, normally I'd be like, you know, she can't. She. I cannot believe she told me that.
No, she's telling me that because she is my friend and she is understanding like she just wants the best for me and I have some found some of that most email easy friendships out of this. You know, it's really true. Who are your five closest people? Who do you you know, who are those people that you know, hold that glue and they need to be people that are pushing you every day, that are growing from you, that aren't adding value to either your life. How are they adding value to their your life?
You know, how are you adding value to their lives? You know, I send quotes. You know, I have quotes that I send out on a daily. And it's one of those that it doesn't me 2 seconds to send that. But it you never know. It might make somebody say, you know, hey beautiful, how are you doing today? You don't know, you know, from a girl to a girl, you know, we're not tearing each other to shreds. You know, we're lifting each other up.
And it's it's truly amazing, you know, because a true friend is going to be there when you need a cry. Okay? The cry is over. We've got that. Now. What's the solution to the problem so we can get it fixed? I really like that you ask yourself the question as well, and I just how is this person providing value to my life? You also ask, what am I doing for them? And especially in my marriage, I've asked myself that question more and more.
I talked about on the show before that I didn't have a partner until really three or four years ago. And it's not because she didn't want that. It's because we didn't communicate on a really deep level. We weren't I wasn't myself, like I hadn't really I didn't know this. I wasn't trying to mask I wasn't trying to be, you know, this false version of myself.
But I hadn't access so many of my traumas that I was just really being remote controlled through life from my childhood years and that figuring that out. So I unpack that stuff. I realized there was so much about my wife and myself I didn't know and I started to ask, Well, why don't I know anything about her? I, I love her like I care so much because I didn't ask questions. I didn't, I didn't take interest in the things she cared about because I was on autopilot.
So I started to ask what what am I doing to make her life better? And I've tried to be an active, more present husband because of that. And so I really think that, you know, I challenge everybody to ask yourself that question, What am I offering to the people around me? What do I do to try to enrich their lives? And, you know, especially your top five, it should be really mutual beneficial relationship where you guys all make each other better. And so that's the goal, right? I will absolutely.
And I mean, I'm the same way, you know, I've been I will be married 13 years and we've been together 13 years. We've made 12. But it's one of those things that I just now have a husband because of that reason, we both had so much trauma that we were living and flight and flight and autopilot for so long that we weren't on each other, you know, and I will say for over a year and a half, we moved into separate bedrooms and we decided to go to counseling just for ourselves.
And it was FEMA's best thing for my marriage because we were able to find ourselves, which in turn made our marriage so much better because when we are wounds, we're not reflecting that on the other person. And when our cup is filled up, and when we start asking, why do we want out of life, you know, then you tend to do the same for your your spouse.
And then just probably four weeks ago, we started going to marriage counseling, not because our marriage is bad, but now we have worked on our inner trauma to where we're not projecting it on each other. So now it's all about the communication and moving forward. It's okay, how do we communicate? Because clearly we weren't doing that the less however long, you know. So it's building a new foundation.
It's all it's doing, you know, because like I said earlier, people are going to counseling when it's too late, you know, versus, hey, why does this person do this? So to better understand and it's just a non-biased person trying to you with that. But when you're in there, she did this, you did those. It's hard to overcome that. And I will say that is the best thing going to therapy for yourself, getting that to where you can start working on your marriage.
Absolutely. So because guess what I of that's just ego and a lot of that's insecurities projected on this somebody else and then you're getting nowhere. I think one of alamo's big phrases they use is keep your side of the street clean. That's that's huge in marriage. You can you know, you can be part of the marriage and spend so much time blaming the other person without ever really looking at yourself.
But if you just keep your side of the street clean and take care of your business, just, you know, let's take the dishes, for example. I'm terrible about this, but it's a good example. The dishes aren't done and I'm upset that I do the dishes now. But they're not done. They're still my dishes, right? Like they're the dishes that it's my house. Even if my wife didn't live here, I'd still have the kids. The dishes would still get dirty. So I can do the dishes as well.
If I'm upset about it, I should just do it versus saying, Hey, you need to do this thing or else I'm going to be mad at you. Just do the thing and then talk about, you know, if you have roles that are supposed to be, you know, films, talk about that after. But in the end, if you push that person away, you're going to be doing the dishes anyways. So you might as well just handle the thing that bothers you. Then have a conversation about it.
And I, I just have that mentality has changed so much for me. Oh, absolutely. And it's, you know, going back to boundaries like we can be in middle of something and it might be a trigger for me or might be a trigger. Well, we know that now. We didn't know that before. So immediately we're like, Oh, that's a knee boundary. I don't like it. You know, it does it that way. It must be that's a new boundary so that we can talk about it, figure out a solution. And guess what?
From here forward, they know that that upset you because it's like, I'm fine. I'm fine. Well, we can't guess what's in here, you know? And I get it, you know, all the time. My favorite word is I'm so overwhelmed. And my. Well, what does that exactly mean? I don't know. Here, you know, they give you a list, you know. Yes. You give them a list. You know, like before I had to be a caregiver for so for so many different people. Like I said, my husband at one time had to call in hospice on him.
I'm sorry. He had to call in hospice. And your husband? Yes. So my husband is a 100% disabled veteran and Purple Heart, 29 surgeries. Oh, my gosh. You know, at one time he was on 36 medications with the VA. He's six one and was weighing £130. He was just so sick learning problems from the bird heads. And it was a very dark time. You know, I became the caregiver. You know, once again, I was caring for my mom. I was caring for my you know what I mean? Like it was.
And I had to let it I didn't realize that, but I had a lot of resentment for him when he finally got better, you know, And it I still held it, stayed like I almost was treating them like I'm his mom, you know, And it's hard to get out of that. So, you know, that's something that he continues to hold me on, you know what I mean?
But, hey, that's that's being a caregiver, you know, And the best thing that I ever did, you know, he's missing that left front of lobe of his brain is I don't know if you know this, but your brain, at the age of 35, I believe 35 are somewhere in there. Your brain is pretty much fully formed, but you can rewire it and you can rewire it a lot faster than you could as a child because you're you're by it's constantly growing, so you're constantly having to reconnect every practically correct.
It versus once you get it wired, it pretty much that's why I'm when as we get older, we get so stuck in our routine, right? You know, and it's a lot harder to change stuff. So once I once we realized that we, you know, when I was going through all of this stuff and, you know, I taught myself, we started doing that. So now guess what? He makes his VA appointments. You know, he is finding out different information that helps him on his journey and things like that.
He signed up for guitar lessons and makes the appointments every day. And that is huge because guess what? Sometimes we do things for people, we enable them, and we don't even realize our children, our spouses, how much we enable them because, oh, I'll just do it because that's my role, or I'll just do it because, you know, he could do it before versus, you know, it's something happened to me today. That's what I got to thinking. Something happens to me today. He didn't get it all for nothing.
And his thoughts is that mine? Because I just wanted to hurry up and get it over with or I like to have control of everything. So sometimes releasing that control can be hard too. So tell me a little bit about the cognitive gap from pre injury to post injury for your husband.
Unfortunately I was not around pre is so I, I. I genuinely don't know I will say it's to me it's like it blows my mind because my husband is one that I still uses Google for good because for the longest time he'd be like he'd see something and not know. And he's the one that old school would go in a dictionary and read all about it. Well, now he just goes to Google and read all about it. And the information that man has, it's just like not even like just history and and things like that.
It just blows your mind because you can go and look it up and he's telling the truth. You know, it's almost like quit making this. But then a lot of it is short term. So remember to take his meds every day, something new. So let's say he would have a hard time with the schedule that I have. I'm doing something different every day, spur of the moment, you know, this and that. So it's like for me to turn six is the excuse that you you don't bother. You know what I mean?
When he has an appointment, you know, that's an ongoing appointment for a long time. We have to make it the same time that because it has to get in there once it's in there and once he has that routine, you can switch it up a little bit. That's more where his goes is very, very short term. You know, if he gets a phone call, if we don't write it down right, then he's he's not remembering. So it can be kind of interesting at times because my A.D.D. and his, you know, it's like, oh Lord.
He actually sounds a lot like me. Like I'm my schedule needs to be pretty regimented. I have to put it in my calendar as soon as I book it or I'll miss stuff, I'm going to have to I have to stick to the calendar. And on things like going to the gym, like I have to do it in a similar time or else I just I don't make time for it, you know? And then also that's gone. And so I think that's one of those things where we make these assumptions. I hear all this stuff that happened.
I would definitely assume that I needed to take care of it. I would have thought that, you know, he's not going to be able to make phone calls. He's not going to be able to, you know, have the the wiring to be able to really take care of himself. But he sounds like he's really very similar to me when it comes to handling life, whenever it comes to big phone calls and handling bills and stuff. My wife handles that for me now, it's not so much because I can't. It's just because she was good at it.
And like, you're good at that. Let's put my energy elsewhere where I can be better and what you can now, if she wish she were to be gone. I struggle getting getting on the same page with all the stuff, but I can handle it. I know. And I think. I will say this about my husband is when I start treating him like a child. And it's the same. Okay, you have a child with some sort of disabilities, heaven forbid. But there's the I love the parents that show them to use it as their superpower.
That's what I've always use my A.D.D. as my superpower versus I have A.D.D.. I can't do that now. Granted, I used to be that way, but now I do know it's a superpower. So it's one of those things where that mind, you know, it's we almost enabling them. You know, we're not the minute I used I told him it's like, you mean to tell me you did six tours to Iraq. This is where, you know, like I was I called hospice.
And because it is just too much for me, like, I just I couldn't he just given up to basically and I'm not going to just sit there and watch you die. You know what I mean? Like you you're not eating. You're not doing. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not going to sit here and watch you just give up on life, you know, like you've been through all of this stuff your whole life. You've done the tours, you came back, you did all of this, and now you want to know. You know what I mean?
Like, if you want to do that, you're going to, you know, And so to me, it's you have those two options. Well, she's right. Or the other way, you know? And that's what I want to be for people to not at that extreme, you know, I mean, but it is just what I'm here to baby you and say it's okay because it's not going to help you. And don't get me wrong, I want to be here. Listen, learn how to do it. But at some point we have to do that one step because how many times does a baby fall down?
A lot. A lot. And you will fall down a lot. You know, you will have, even if everything is going right, your finances and your marriage, you know, everything. I always tell people, change up something every quarter. Declutter, change up some routines because then you're better able guess what, you're used to a little shakeup. And then when comes and comes out of left field, you're more prepared for it versus being so stuck. And then you have to take a sharp right, turn it up.
It's not going to be the easiest. Right. But I want to circle back a little bit to the you've talked about your dissociative state. Can you talk to kind of take yourself back there and tell us what that looks like for people who may not even realize that they're living that way right now? I'd like them to be able to hear what that look like and be able to say, Oh, that kind of sounds like me. Maybe I'm not really engaging in my life.
Absolutely. So when I say like I would dissociate from my body is I base quickly morphed into whatever I needed to be at the moment. So let's stay at work, okay? I have to make sure, you know, I was already compensating for A.D.D. because of my adult life. I because I was diagnosed at the age of five. And so in my adult life, I decided not to take medicine for years and years and years.
And so it was always vanguard, you know, like, you know, making sure that I adapted to whatever They need you to do this. Okay, No problem. Let me get it done. You know, overextending myself, you know? And then I would get home, put my PJs on, climb into bed, eat a bag of chips, you know, And I would watch hours and hours of TV, you know, and just disassociate, you know, or it would be hanging out with friends.
You know, I would literally try to be the life of the party so nobody would be looking at me. You know what I mean? That they're only looking at me at this place. You know. Talk a little bit more about what you mean by you would try to be the life of the party. What did that look like? So when I would go out, it would be like I always say, the fun mom are this fun girl. You know, let's let's do this. And she knows so I could be in control of everything.
I love to make sure that I could control every situation so that we myself didn't get hurt again. You know, like I was protecting my little inner child, you know, per se, because I just wanted people to like me. I just wanted to quit being hurt, you know? So I would always, oh, this person is going to be my friend. They're nice to me. Let me tell them all my stuff. You know what I mean? Like, just so what I would trade like you said that they want me to be like.
And then the harder I tried, the worse that would get. So it's one of those that I can truly say this question really hits home because looking back, I can see me how the two totally different people were. But in the moment, it's it's almost like somebody coming to you and saying, what is going on? Because you you know, you are not the same person that I used to know. It's because you literally there's no feeling, there's no your your soul is just your energy.
You literally are just I almost felt robotic. And you can think of a particular, like specific event or night where you were going out with your friends, where you wanted to take control and like, walk us through what that was like, how that event went. So I let's just use I love I love planning parties. So that's all my it's my way, you know. So I planned the company Christmas party of my year.
And of course, I've got to go all out just so the A I can feel good about myself, you know, like not only do I genuinely love to do it right, but it's also brownie points, you know, almost like the brown noser and stuff. Because guess what? I'm controlling every situation, you know, it's I get a say of who's coming. I get to see what's going to happen. So like for the Christmas party, it's like I wanted everybody, you know, it's, Oh, Christina, you did such a good job. Oh, thank you. Thank you.
You know, and I genuinely loved it because it felt up. My energy was phenomenal. And that's why I love to control the situations, because I got gratitude from it that would lift my spirits. Oh, I can't do that. You know? So as you're going to that Christmas party the night of the event, how like, how were you acting? Were you, you know, running from person to person, really chatting everybody up? Is that kind of how that went? Oh, absolutely.
And it was one of those that as that Christmas party, but then also the controlling part, you know, because it's like I felt like my life is a game of chess, you know, placing it just here. So also the perfectionist in me, you know, okay, this is going to be done just right. This is going to be done to say things like that. But it was it to me. I was so tired of getting hurt in every aspect of my life.
I just wanted to fit in and I just wanted to be loved, you know, And verses you'll never be able to do that. You'll never be able to do that. Like I got told that you know what it means. Like you're not good enough. You're not Does well in those environments. I was good enough in those environments. I showed off my creativity, what people love because of my ADHD versus it being a disability is I mean, said, Oh yeah. And then it's like, guess what?
I use it as a way to meet new people and stuff because I'm not going to I wasn't going to go to you and start a conversation to come to me and I'm going to talk your ear off. You know, I'm going to be the one standing in the corner until somebody comes up and then, you know, okay, well, then I'm going to talk. So, you know, it's just an instance where I absolutely love doing it. You know, the joy that I saw everybody have, you know, it was the magical of the Christmas, you know, and just the
I always take my mom is pictures from before there was Pinterest. And you know, it was but like I said, it's always a game of chess because then when I'm controlling I don't have to you know, I don't get caught off guard. I don't have to let any emotions go because I know exactly what's going what's going to be happening. You know? So it's one of those that I I'm learning. Do I still love entertaining? Absolutely. Do I still love it? Yes, because I love it.
But I've also known this time around with my friendships are relationships, business relationships and everything they're giving me. So when they genuinely want to be around me, it's because of me, of who I am. And they know that I love these things and I genuinely we just want to do it to bring joy into people's lives, you know, even though I always was doing that, but I was doing it for an ego versus, what value am I truly adding?
I was adding it for me, you know, It was like, what am I going to get out of this now? How did you feel when something went wrong? And one of those things when those events you planned. To spend I mean, in the moment I would jump into action, you know what I mean? Like, okay, we're going to do this business pivot or what not when it was all over, I would beat myself up to no end because of the perfectionism behind it. Now, do you how do you handle that now? I don't care.
It's just one of those like we I had put in the couples retreat at the end of the month and four couples are coming and, you know, we're doing a a night where the men are just like the the wives and the wives are just like the husbands. And we're going to play cards against Mandy and board game night. And we got a place with a pool and all of that. And it's like I just drew names of, like, rooms. You get like it's either you're happy or you're not.
Like, you can't please everyone, you know, so just please yourself, but do it in a manner that. So your ego isn't involved. Yeah. Yeah. Strip. Let's let's talk a little bit more about what you do in your business. What is one of the biggest benefits you say your clients walk away with after having worked with you? How to do it by themselves. So in my long term, especially in my coaching clients, I am not teaching them that they need me forever.
I am teaching them how to get their shit together so that they can do it themselves. Yeah, and just keep it going. Because like I said, the world is ever evolving. You're ever evolving. You know, just because you have a bad day doesn't mean you got to have a bad week. Just because you had a bad morning doesn't mean you have to have a bad afternoon. And my overall goal with this program is for you to live your best life, whatever the case may be.
You know, if you're wanting to shoot for the stars and be a multimillionaire or if you want to live out in the woods and Bali, you know, what is your best life and guess what is your season of life? Because we all go through seasons and when we're in our wandering season, things can be rough so that's when you need to hibernate and do that inner work so often that in the spring comes, you're ready to blossom. You're ready to be the most beautiful rose you can be.
But it's really, really important to me that by because with my program we do mindset work, we do bodywork because so much of what we put in our body so much from the outside, from the inside of what we put in our body has effect on our ADHD as well. And at the end of the day, food is just food. I mean, it really is, of course. So makes you feel better than others. But at the end of the day, it is this food.
But when you are putting different things in your body, it can make you feel a whole lot better, which in return your mind's working better. But generally term helps your ADHD. And so and then when it comes to the home, when your home is in disarray, guess what? Your mind is in disarray. Yes. When you wake up and your kitchen is a mess, you don't want to cook in there. You don't want to eat breakfast in there. You want to get out of it as soon as possible.
So when you are working with all three of those consecutively, magical things can happen because so much. Okay, let's just do the body. How many fad diets have we done? Yeah, we go all in and then we go back and gain £20. But when you're consistently building new habits and systems and evolving, it's with staying up all night because you're just slowly climbing up the mountain one foot in front of the other. But when you go from here to here, it makes it a lot more steep.
And so it's really teaching them how to build that system. Like I said, I have a 16 year old, a four year old and a two year old. My home runs completely different. My systems are going to be completely different than a 38 year old mother that literally just has a 16 year old. That's fixing to be an empty nester. That's a single mom versus a family which wins.
And they go to six sport tonight, you know, So it's really important for them to build those systems and knowing that not everything so literally we just do one room a month, we build that system, we build that foundation. So gradually your life is evolving and before you know it, it's you're living in a whole new reality versus, Oh, here it is, you're here. How Are you going to stay in that? It's going to be extremely hard because you have everything coming at you at 50 different things now.
So it's hard to see your typical quiet engagement from what is your typical client look like. So how long you've worked with them and what happens over that process. Absolutely. So of course I do work with ADHD women anywhere from 25 to usually about 55. And we during that time, we find out what is those traumas for sure. So We can understand how some of us are visual learners, some of us our audience or, you know, some of us are just being in the action. Some of us just need that body double.
So really understanding what my client means first and foremost and how they learn and how they adapt to that. Are they a person that needs deadlines? Are they one that, okay, I need everything written down to the tiniest? You know, I can't tell one client, maybe go clean your room because they don't know where to even start. So that's that's number one. That's where we have to figure out, okay, how is our brains wired and where do we need to go?
So I like I said, we understand what's going on with the traumas inside of it. Then we go through just the very basics. Okay. Morning routine. Yeah, we all get a lot of stories, work out, whatever the case may be. What are you really doing it or is it just such a distill that, Oh, you know, you don't even realize that you're not doing it are just a couple. So we get very clear in what a true morning routine is.
And even just I love my favorite thing is 15 because 15 minutes can truly change somebody's lives because it's like, okay, if you're washing your face and brushing your teeth and taking a shower every morning, that's already starting your day on the bed. But you not making your bed. So you would be surprised at how many people just don't even have a morning routine.
They're just get up 5 minutes before they through on some clothes and go, you know so it's really establishing okay do we start and build a strong, strong. Same with the body. Okay. How much water are you drinking. I'll add out my 24 ounces. 32 ounces. Well, of course, when we go to sleep, our brains, you know, it basically almost dehydrates through the night. So you need to rehydrate your brain so it's awake and fully forming.
So, you know, that's just one little small step of I call it habit stacking from atomic habits. I absolutely love love that book. But it's just slowly so the body we've just instead of that coke today, this drink water instead, you know, are flavored water and then, you know, for the home. Okay, we're just going to go and declutter this week. You know, one room pick the rooms that we start with. We're decluttering that. And then as we on, it just intensifies.
Okay. So the next month now we're adding, you know, and we're working with each other through the whole month of. Oh, really starting to your self-care. I right. You know, asking those hard questions we go through it's a lot of self-discovery with this because you're you're finding out like what makes you happy. Well my job no, like, Dick didn't get some step in there. You know.
Because if we don't even know what makes us happy, then we are going to continue to not be able to do that because you got to know what your passion is and what makes you happy so you can live a fulfilling life. You know, and then working within that inner peace, you know, what are we doing to be able to move forward and release, you know, we do a lot of journaling work. We do a lot of gratitude. I live in a state of gratitude. You know, I am forever grateful that this is my life.
And I'm just amazed each and every day. But, you know, a lot of journaling, a lot of planning, you know, just finding out your date the night before, you know, not necessarily milk, but meal planning. So you already know you don't have to say, what are we having for dinner? We already know what we're having. You know, and appointments and things like that. It's just the planning of it. And so as we get on, so especially when comes to the home side.
So the first part, we're just decluttering that room, kind of getting in a very basic system. Well, just for two weeks, three weeks, all I ask you to do is keep up with that system in that one room. I'm not asking you to do the whole house. I'm just asking you the dirty clothes and the laundry. You know, you you've said you want to do these five things in this room every single day. Make sure without a doubt.
The thing is, you're going to have to tell your mind, because your mind's going to say it's fine. So it's really working so that when we're starting so small that it's not silver, it won't mean for people because let's face it, when they are calling us, they are overwhelmed. They don't know where to begin. And if you overwhelm and put on a load of information, then it it's going to be too much.
And my overall job, the reason I do this is so at the end of the six months, they can continue those patterns to make them have a better life. But this is something that's ongoing for the rest of your life, is keep evolving, keep getting your shit together, you know, evolve your self care, evolve your happiness. You know what I mean? Evolve. I'm working here time. So over that six months, how many times do you meet? We meet online once a week, you know.
And then I either fly to their house once a month or if it's in town, I go once a month and we do every in the month. And we dominant. Clients. You have to fly to. Just one room. Yeah. Listen, me. It's like so just one right now, but the rest are here. How many? So, you know, with that my meaning on, you know, online makes things easier to fit more. How many more clients could you take on? Well, I'm hoping by the end of September, I would like 6 to 8 clients. That's fine, thanks.
Because especially with me, I want to make sure I have so much other going on as well. And I really want to make sure that I always put my family first. And no amount of the money in the world is worth that. You know, I always tell people, this is like Jamie, my second chance is my for my two year old, I get to do this over and I want to be able to do it right. And I, I have two years left with my son, too, and I want to make sure that I'm there for his junior and senior year.
What what does he need out of a mother as he's getting ready to grow up and be, you know, yes, he's already becoming an adult, but, you know, grow up and so it's very, very important to me, even more than my little children, is to make sure that I do things and break that intergenerational trauma. And what I mean by that is, you know, of not being there for his games and, you know, always being of work and things like that.
Like I want to be present, I want to be involved in my oldest is like, you know, I really build relationship. You know, I never do it how much I talk to people and how to talk to people and when I realized that things really started changing and sometimes I still catch myself doing it and it's like, you know, So I really that's the most important thing to me is I want to be able to be this community builder and be all these things for other people.
But I don't want to spread myself too thin, you know, And I want to give those clients, you know, and also I still to organize people's homes to, you know, I'm working right now. I'm bringing in some more organizers and stuff. That way I can fully concentrate more on the coaching side, you know, and I still get to go in and organize homes. It's just on a much more immediate scale, right, versus just the closet that needs to be done.
But I want to make sure that my organizing clients get the same treatment as my coaching clients, that they need their service and that I want to make sure that my time is not spread too thin because athletes for now and I want to make sure that I am taking care of myself. You here I am doing to others as you would want them to do to you.
So it's like if I'm learning from a coach, I want them to be practicing that message that they're they're giving me, not just telling me what to do when I go drink three Cokes on the side. So I want to get back to parenthood and just the second person want to ask you, what is authenticity like? How do you define that? How do I find authenticity being an individual soul and the person that you feel the most comfortable with? And what I mean by that is if nobody around you, it was just you.
Who are you? You know what defines you as a human what is your purpose? You know how often it's you're the original. There's no other person like you. So being that true self, you know, my favorite tool is get uncomfortable, think, get comfortable being uncomfortable, you know, because that's really where that magic happens, you know, when you are transforming lives and when you doing what you love to do, it becomes very natural. And that's with anybody.
I really feel that we were just built that way when we are living our authentic and true self, you're at ease. Your energy is through the roof, you're relaxed. So your your you, you know, you have no problem speaking to people, nothing because you are being your authentic self. I Agree with that to a degree. I think that that involves some unmaking of the habits that we've built, trying to be something else. I definitely comes at ease to me now.
There was a long period in which being myself up, very uncomfortable. I felt like nobody's going to like me, you know, nobody wanted to hear what I had to say. Nobody cared. A lot of doubt, a lot of depression moving through that. It feels it feels very natural now. It feels way better than it ever felt. Even when people are, quote, accepted me whenever I was pretending to be something else, I'd rather have people not accept me being myself because the ones who do it feels much more rewarding.
Kind of dovetailing off of that, it's really easy for a lot of people to lose themselves, like lose their identity as they become parents and spouses. How do you how do you feel you've navigated that as you and as you've entered this best version of yourself? As You put it. Time blocking like it. It's huge, like perfect example. And I, I will say like I am on point with this. Another thing that saved our marriages Friday night date nights.
A lot of times we don't even leave the house, but phones go up, children are at bed. You know, it is very whether it be watching a movie, hanging out in the garage or what not. It's really it's okay. When I am standing my quarter my week is so important. What are the most important things for me? Well, myself, my workout time. Because if I take care of myself, everything else. Okay, what is the next important thing? Family. Okay, They have this appointment.
Okay. I'm going to be networking Tuesday and Thursday this night. Monday and Wednesday. Guess what? I am not. You know what I mean? Like it is family time. Sorry, I'm unavailable. And when you it like that and then guess. But the networking, the working, all kinds of intertwines after that. So when you are planning that and you're being intentional with your action, you know you are intentionally making sure that nothing affects that time right.
And when you're very intentional, that's what and being in that moment, it is so important to live in the moment. You know that when we are living in that moment, that's what even if it's 2 hours a day, it actually is probably and but it's quality over quantity. You are going to get more out of that 2 hours than you are spread across the week and not being intentional with it. Because guess what? For that 2 hours, my kids get my solid attention, my phone, you this or that? Well, guess what?
It's so funny because we have a command center and from 8 to 9 and spend time with Dustin. So everybody, if they're over on a Saturday night or something, you know, it'll say, spend time with Dustin. And everybody laughs and they're like, Oh, it's our time to spend time. But I literally carved that out to where else would somebody can't go and the time with me or this and that. Like I I've thought of it. I put it down on paper. Now it's in a calendar. Now we're all seeing it.
So that's four different touches within that time that I have intentionally made sure that nobody takes that away from me. So time, time blocking is. Is. A huge way of how you help maintain your sense of self because you're intentionally moving through those different phases of your life and giving them your full attention. Absolutely. I mean, just like this, it's like, okay, I when we were discussing when we could do it, okay, I have this to this time. Okay, perfect.
You know, let's get it in the calendar. Let's I literally do that the time I get up to the day. I probably have 25 alarms go off throughout my day, one to make sure I'm on track. And two, it's just making sure I don't forget something. You know, I have a speech next week I've got to do for a women's conference and it's like three or four weeks before that I have an alarm going off. Okay. Have you written your speech have you said your speech? You know, because it's been intentional with that.
You know, I know I can't just put it in my calendar, forget about it. Didn't know. Going to go see that? No. A lot of times I don't see what I'm working with till the next couple of days, you know. And so it's been intentional, just so we don't wait till the very last minute of the verbal line. Luckily, I don't do that much anymore, so. Oh, I. Know. I don't know if I, if I had to pull an all nighter. I don't know if I could. I could do it, but I don't know what the results will turn out.
And guess what? So being an outspoken advocate for Neurodivergent what role has that played in your life as you have gone forward? Speaking out about it? This one is probably the hardest, to be totally honest. When I was diagnosed at the age of five, I live in a very small town. It was just I just thought, okay, I'm normal, you know what I mean? Like, I got to take medicine. And truly, I didn't hear about it much. And truly, like I said, I quit growing.
So I just back in the day, all they had was Ritalin. It made me real skinny. And any I didn't sleep, so I just quit taking it, you know. And I had literally pivoted so much that I could what I thought could maintain it, which in a lot of ways I did a very good job. In a lot of ways, I didn't I didn't realize how much I did maintain it until I got back on medication. But of course, medicine has lately evolved since I was a kid, so I really like I said, it was it was normal for me.
It was okay, you need to do your job like this, this and this. Okay. I'm still doing my job like this, this and this. But I've got to do it my way. Well, my son, my oldest, was diagnosed with ADHD already, and I'm like, Wait a second. He has none of the same symptoms that I do. Are you sure? Well, then that's really when I really started digging in, and it's like I started getting on all of these groups. Well, come to find out, they were like, Well, I'm having this problem. Okay. Two students.
Oh, well, that worked. Okay, You know what I mean? Like, or they would say something and I would kind of go and be like, Oh, well, I can do this. This, you know, And it's one of those things that overnight I was like, wait a second, I can help a lot of people because I had I had literally been through this for over 30 years, like and I know it they might not be the textbook way, right? I mean, let's be honest. But, you know, I literally just turned it into my superpower.
And, you know, I really, really did. It made me very successful in the career that I was in, but also attention to detail. It was it was not the greatest. And so it's one of those that it just it really fell in my lap when I got my social media strategist, she was like, you, this is you. This is who you are. And I'm like, No, I, I never it I didn't want it to be used as a crutch. Like, I need to see, you know, like I never wanted it. I was like, Nope, nope.
And she was like, But you have a lot of good information that people can take away. And it's sometimes still met with some resistance because I feel like an imposter sometimes because I have never really talked about it. And it's like, but it always has been my superpower. Not blame it on my ADHD, you know what I mean? So it's something I'm still very much evolving into because I still feel like imposter syndrome. But I'm I know tips and tricks that I have use to help me.
And I also learned being that flatter slides and being on this healing journey and reprograming your mind because like ultimately it does help your ADHD in so many ways because you're inside levels through the roof, you know what I mean? And you can hit that dopamine a lot quicker when your cortisol levels are down just. So what would you say the the importance of maintaining your self is reliant upon helping others?
I would say about 75%, because if it wasn't for helping others, I wouldn't be on this dirty right now. And because I've always just tried it, you know, I've always I always love to train, you know, like, oh, I have knowledge. Let me let me give it to you. You know, knowledge is power. So in my little field, you know, in wherever I was, I was working that I learned and grew in that one area. I just did learn and grow in life right. But I wanted to I wanted to give people that information.
You know, if somebody is willing to learn it, let you know. And so it was one of those, and it made me feel so good because, yes, I had somebody learn from me. You know, I help somebody, somebody you know, I, I think I secretly always wanted to be a teacher, but I didn't with the 35 kids in the classroom. Right.
I think it's I think it is something about being ADHD that training or teaching or coaching people really engages us in things in a way where we started to talk, you know, we still get to be actually doing something. We're not focusing on just doing the thing the whole time because we're helping somebody through the process. It really kind of lights us up and brings out the best in us.
So I'm glad that you found coaching and that it's you're, you're sharing especially the ADHD part of your journey with other people. Because I was diagnosed late, I was not in my life, but, you know, my twenties, I'd always been successful in school and no problems. When I got to college and learned that I had no study habits because I'd just gotten, you know, I am being smart enough. And then once I needed to develop those, I would crash and burn for a long time and I got diagnosed.
And still then it was even early 2000 and it was a well yeah, you're missing some chunks of time. You're late all the time. Take this medication. I'll be fine. I didn't know anything about the executive dysfunction, about the the different, the masking, the the dysregulation of emotions. Like all these things that I experienced had no connection to ADHD. For me.
Had no idea that didn't happen until two or three years ago that I know going back into the research and started to realize how many aspects of my life were affected by ADHD, I was like, Oh, that makes so much more sense. Why? Why I couldn't get along with people or why I always felt different in situations, why this conversation was so boring to me is, Oh, they're talking about normal things that to me aren't interesting.
I'm not interested. So it's like this conversation and that's, you know, that's an unfortunate way to lose. But now I understand, like, these are not my people and that's okay, you know, that's that's all right. My people love we love having conversations that interest us. And we don't spend a whole lot of time talking about the weather or politics. You know, the regular stuff people talk about. It's about stuff that kind of fires us up. And that's why that's where I want to be now.
And that's something that I'm really happy to be accepting and, you know, building my journey and what I love to share with other people. Oh, absolutely. You know, I think that that's why I truly believe there's so many entrepreneurs that do have ADHD. It's because we do think outside the box, We we don't care about the weather. And I definitely don't care about politics. And so we're always we're chasing the shiny and new type name.
You know, we want to evolve and we want to, you know, sometimes we need to bring that in because the 30 ideas that go through our head and, you know, at the end of the day, But I do think that that's why it truly is superpower, because it it is wired a little differently. And to be able to maximize that as a superpower versus a disability. And, you know, there are so many successful and I call that as completely different than. Some people to me success is not the amount in my bank account.
Sit says to me is whose life did I change? How do I feel inside what surrounds me and what legacy of my leaving my children? You know, it's called the Six Keys of Abundance. You know, you want to live an abundant life and it's so much more than money to. Absolutely. I think it's about time we wrap this up and we could probably talk for another hour and a half. But I want people to actually listen to this. So if people want to learn more about Christina Rose, where can they find you?
Absolutely So all of my Instagram and Facebook is Christina are declutter Queen Anne's in my Facebook and Instagram. This is Christina rose and my tik tok is just Christina rose. Christina rose it has been a pleasure. I really enjoyed this conversation. I think that, you know, you have a great service to offer the world and I hope that you find great success in it. If you enjoy today's episode, please give it a life and share it with somebody
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