and welcome back to Authentic On Air with Bruce Alexander. I am your host, Bruce Alexander. Today is the last day of season two because I'm pivoting my business to not focus on all ADHD parents, but to focus on ADHD business owners. And I want to talk on this episode what I've learned in my little over a year in having my own business and why I'm making this pivot.
And some of the things that you can take away, whether you're a business owner or not, that will help improve your life as an ADHD parent. So first, let's do our weekly check -in. Body, I still feel like a fat piece of crap half the time, but I have quantitative goals, which helped me realize that even though my body doesn't look how I want it to, I can tell that I'm improving. My walks with my kids that I take are getting longer and longer.
and the way I feel whenever I get back is what really tells me that things are getting better because I don't need to immediately sit down. I don't need to rush to the chair and grab for relief because my back is in so much pain. So things are opening up, my body is starting to be more of a tool instead of an obstacle. So that's exciting. Being my relationship with myself has been pretty good. I'm getting to know myself, I'm doing the routine and schedule to put myself in power and that's good.
Our relationship with God has been a little bit of a struggle this week because I thought that we'd have found a place by now. I thought that we would be living somewhere that we called home by now and not having found that place has me questioning whether or not God called me on this has chosen me to make this trip that I felt very called to do. And that hiccup in my faith... has been hard to deal with, but I feel more on track today. It's okay to feel bad. It's okay to have doubt.
It's okay to struggle. The important thing to remember is not to live in that struggle, to feel it, appreciate it, validate it, but then to move out of it, to realize that feelings are transitory. They can come and go. You need to focus on the facts of what you can prove. And I heard the message. I know that. Like I know that. There is something strong moving in my heart that I'm supposed to be out here and just because it hasn't happened on my time doesn't mean that it's not supposed to be.
So that's something that is, you know, it's still up in the air. It's still big. It's still daunting, but it is also that daunting means that there's also a ton of opportunity there. There's, you know, so many things could happen that could be great. Just because I don't know doesn't mean it has to be bad. So that is my being. Things with the kids have been really good. My kids are kids. They occasionally have. The kerfuffle is the only word I can think of right now.
They currently have kerfuffles that, of course, I don't love to see them fight with each other. I don't love to see them party to those feelings, but our relationship has improved really well and it is trickling down. Me being a kinder and more loving father is starting to prove dividends with them being kinder and more understanding with each other.
It's taking time and it will take time because... I haven't been a great example as a parent the entire time and you know, that's something that has to be dealt with. So trying to show them the right way now. Things with Kate and I are back on track. There was a big blow up this week because I was, once again, I was doubting the path. For the first time in over a month and a half, I was vocal about the fact that I kind of felt like... we were doing the wrong things.
And I didn't feel like I was getting support in that moment. And I kind of blew up and I didn't really, I didn't really control my reactions the way I would like. And I definitely had, like I had a big tantrum and I had to go for a walk and, you know, recollect myself and apologize to my family. And I actually, I don't even know if I've done that yet. I probably need to do that again, just to make sure, because I still feel a little guilt about that. So that's not, I don't love that part.
But the fact that I'm able to own it and talk about it means that I'm not hiding from those bad moments anymore, which means I can solve them. I can find solutions. I can learn how to resolve them and not be that kind of person all the time. I've already drastically reduced that kind of behavior over the last year. And I would like to completely eradicate it, but it is hard for a tiger to change its track. So I'm working on it. Things are getting better. Lastly, my business.
This whole episode is kind of spurred on by the fact that I'm ready for a change in my business. I spent, I guess, six months exclusively trying to talk to ADHD parents and get them to believe in themselves and invest time and energy in themselves, whether it be working with me for free or working with me through paid programs. And sometimes I can't get them to invest money to work with me and sure, that's fine.
whatever, but even the people I've worked with who have paid me at getting them to invest the time and energy into themselves to do the things that I know that work, that I've proven to work, there's tons of evidence that work, there's a missing piece for them to invest in themselves. And it has been a massive struggle to get people to do the work for themselves. And initially I managed that gap by trying to do the work for them. I was like, I'll give you the answers.
I'll carry you to the destination. And what I found is I just built more weakness. Like if I carry you to the top of the mountain top and then you have to walk back down, you're not going to be strong enough to do it because the strength that you build climbing up is what makes you the person that's able to stay there. And I didn't understand that initially, but once I learned that I stopped doing the work for them, but I realized that the people I was working with weren't willing to invest.
themselves into themselves. And I don't think it's because it's the wrong people. I think it's the wrong time. I don't think I'm catching people in the time in which they are ready to make the change in their lives. Like I'm trying to convince them that it's time to make a change whenever I'm supposed to facilitate the change. I'm supposed, you're supposed to be ready for things to change. I'm supposed to help facilitate that.
And I think that that's going to be much easier to do if I'm working with ADHD entrepreneurs, people who have already shown that they're willing to do work to build something for themselves. It's not even about the money. It's about people who are willing to put in work to make their lives better. So whenever I'm offering free programs and people say, well, I can't, you know, I can't give up this or I can't like make that work with my schedules.
Like if somebody were like offering me the key to my problems right now and I just needed to make the schedule work. I would do it because I'm willing to invest and make sacrifices to, to win the bigger game. And that's, you know, that's a mentality that sometimes comes from big failures and like bad things happening. And sometimes it's just time. Sometimes it's just dealing with the bullshit long enough to finally be fed up with it.
And right now, like I'm just, I've dealt with the bullshit long enough to be fed up with it, to realize that. There are people that you can't make ready to be helped. It's tough, like I don't want to leave people who need help behind, but also I don't want to continue spinning my wheels trying to help people who not only are not ready to pay me to help them, they're not ready to give their own time and energy to help themselves. So, yeah, that's the reason for the pivot.
But some important things that I learned along the way is consistency is key. I mean, it absolutely is the small things that you do every day is what builds your empire. I like there are the connections that I made from my ADHD dad's group that I built months ago and just keep pouring continent to every day, even though like initially I wasn't getting any reaction.
Then I made contacts through that months later because I was consistent and finally something struck somebody that made them say, I need to reach out. This person can help me. And I understand that that is something that is going to be consistent throughout all the things in businesses.
Once you figure out the message that you're trying to deliver, you have to keep showing up on the platform over and over again in order to, for one, build the following and for two, to get the right, the message in front of the right people. So. As I pivot, that will remain true and it's gonna be, it's a little bit difficult to mentally wrap my mind around just talking more about business. I don't have any problem working with people in business.
I've actually had more success getting people to adopt the things that I've suggested or encouraged them to do to make more money than I have had for anything else. Their relationships are on fire. and they're not willing to do the things that they need to do to fix them, even though like I'm giving them all the tools that they need to make improvement. But if I say, hey, this is a way that you can make more money, then they're usually all over it.
So why not just spend more time in that space, giving people ways that they are going to be able to make more money? Because that honestly, it does give room. to then spend time on relationships, to spend time on your body, to spend time in your relationship with your higher power. But I mean, you have to be intentional. Just making more money doesn't solve anything.
It is using that money to buy your time back, to buy freedom, to buy independence, and then to then put that freedom, time, and independence back into yourself, building up the rest of your world. Because in the end of it, for me, it's all about having it all. It's about having the business that I love doing that's successful. It's about having the family that is on fire and in love with me as much as I love them.
Having the relationship with God that's on fire and having the daily conversation with God. And then having a body that excites me and that I feel excited to live in. that it feels like a tool for my purpose. And I understand to have all of that, I can't get so focused on making more money that I leave anything else unchecked.
So, that leads to my second big learning, because not only is consistency key, it is that having a routine that allows you to touch base with all four domains of your life every single day is crucial, because it becomes really easy to get sucked into whatever is going well, and to not pay attention to the things that are hard to look at. So whenever, you know, I get before, when I was really fit, like I was loving the gym.
I spent all my time at the gym, but I was ignoring the quality of my relationships. I wasn't doing anything to grow in my finances and my business. So because it was just easy to pour all of myself into that one thing. And whenever you have a routine that makes sure that you're checking in with all parts of your life, then, It allows you to kind of obfuscate that pitfall.
And even if you're just doing the bare minimum on each different domain of your life every single day, then you're still miles apart from, per se, working weeks at a time before you see your family. That is not going to allow your family to feel engaged with you. You have to do something to make sure that each day you're engaged with your family. Each day you're engaging with God. Each day you're engaging your body. You'd say you're engaging your business. It's doing them all every day.
And it sounds like a lot, but whenever you have a routine that ensures it, it works pretty easily. So, like those are the two big things I wanted to talk about. I'm going to take a week or two off to work on this pivot in my business, work on implementing some of the new things I'm going to learn in the course I'm taking tomorrow. Hopefully this, like putting all these pieces together that I've learned is going to really help me as I. pivot into this business world.
I've learned all about building funnels and marketing. I've learned all about the coaching process and sales, marketing techniques, and this is the next step. I don't even really know what it is, but it's Tony Robbins, so I'm hoping it's gonna be awesome. That is it for today. Thank you so much for joining me on Authentic On Air. I hope you'll come back for season three in which I will talk much, much more about ways that you can make more money while growing closer to your family.
whether it's through improving at your current job, starting your own business or just growing your own business. Those are the things I'm going to focus on. And I'm going to give them an ADHD, you know, twist because regular mainstream philosophy doesn't always work whenever it comes to the ADHD mind. So being an ADHD entrepreneur, I have learned some, some ways to tweak those things that make them a little more applicable to the regular ADHD person. So. Stay tuned for that.
Please like, follow, and share if you enjoy this content and help me reach the people who need my help. Bye.