In this conversation, Cynthia and Susan explore belief and behavior in an attempt to answer a listener's question, "Are you women true believers?" There are a lot of markers members use to figure out where other members sit on the spectrum of testimony and church engagement. We judge not just beliefs, but the language used to express them. But if we really must vet each other's faith, a better question might be, "How does being a member of the Church change the way you live?"
Dec 07, 2021•55 min•Season 4Ep. 72
Resentments form when we get angry at a person, institution, or situation. For many Latter-day Saint women, denying themselves and putting others first is a default setting. But when we live to please others, we often end up pleasing no one—even ourselves. As a follow up to Episode 65 on healthy boundaries, C.A. Larson joins us for a conversation about resentments. Understanding what they are and why we have them can help us set down the ones we carry, and avoid picking up new ones.
Nov 30, 2021•1 hr•Season 4Ep. 71
If you asked a Church member for a short list of words or ideas that are central to our lives as Latter-day Saints, there's a good chance worthiness would be on the list. We talk about worthiness, we teach about it, we speculate about it in others, we answer a list of questions to certify it in ourselves. But what does it really mean? Could changing the way we think about worthiness improve our ability to share God's love with others and experience it for ourselves?
Nov 23, 2021•53 min•Season 4Ep. 70
We're all wired differently, and our personality has an impact on our experiences. Understanding the self we bring to church may help us better understand the experiences we have there. Identifying underlying differences can also help us manage our expectations in relationships, and can be an empathy tool for interacting with people around us. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan are joined by Jana Spangler for a talk about what makes individuals tick, and specific ways those differences may matte...
Nov 16, 2021•58 min•Season 4Ep. 69
Perhaps nothing has a greater impact on a woman's experience in our church organization than the fact that she does not and can not hold the Priesthood. Do Latter-day Saint women need ordination? Do they want it? While the answers to these questions may not be clear, what is clear is that many women feel little space to discuss their true feelings about the nebulous messaging we receive around power and authority, and our inability to hold and access Priesthood directly. In the Season 4 opener, ...
Nov 09, 2021•58 min•Season 4Ep. 68
In this bonus recut, Cynthia and Susan revisit a Season 1 conversation about the challenge of building bridges for the young women of today to cross into adult lives of personal and spiritual fulfillment as Latter-day Saints. Will they be willing to seek a faith home within the same patriarchal church structure their mothers and grandmothers have inhabited? For now, the bridges these two mothers have built don't seem to lead to a place their daughters want to go.
Oct 05, 2021•57 min•Season 3Ep. 67
Our episodes may begin the conversation, but every woman in the Church has unique experiences and ideas to contribute, so there's always more to say. In this season finale, Cynthia and Susan revisit Season 3 podcast topics to share a few post-recording thoughts, ideas, and insights that have come up through continued conversation and listener feedback.
Aug 31, 2021•1 hr 8 min•Season 3Ep. 66
Latter-day Saint women are raised with clear expectations about the ideal LDS woman's life. But how do you fully develop a sense of self when you're taught from the time you're young exactly what your role should be in your family, church, and world? Without a self, there can be no boundaries. Without boundaries, we give away our choices. In this episode, therapist C.A. Larson shares thoughts about the importance of finding the self and caring for it by establishing healthy boundaries.
Aug 24, 2021•56 min•Season 3Ep. 65
We all take a 'cafeteria' approach to our religion to some extent, but how much customization is really okay? As members of the Church, we are asked to obey commandments, but sometimes face pressure to accept policies and culture as binding too. How can we determine which parts are essential? How can we reap the greatest spiritual benefit from our church engagement? In this episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss approaching personal decisions about what to keep, and what it may be time to let go.
Aug 17, 2021•55 min•Season 3Ep. 64
Has what was intended to be a "holier" approach to watching over each other elevated our game, or fallen flat? The switch to the Ministering program left a lot of us wondering exactly what it is we're supposed to be doing. We were good at meals and messages, but we're not so comfortable meeting people where they are, and just being there with them. In this episode, Sue Bergin shares insights in a conversation about learning new and better ways to provide support to each other with empathy, compa...
Aug 10, 2021•57 min•Season 3Ep. 63
In the story of the widow's mite, Jesus directs our attention to a woman who gives everything she has, assuring us that her small offering is more than enough. But how are we meant to think about our own offerings in the context of this story? How much do we owe? And how can we know when we have we given enough of our time, talents, energy, and resources? Cynthia and Susan discuss the story of this woman's choice, and Jesus' reaction to it, in a conversation about giving—and being—enough.
Aug 03, 2021•57 min•Season 3Ep. 62
Conversations on social media are rarely substantive, but sometimes a comment can provide a good opening to a larger discussion. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan unpack a comment made on a recent ALSSI post that seemed to ruffle a few feathers. It's a discussion about unhelpful ways Latter-day Saints sometimes respond to each other, and how we might all benefit from retiring the tired scripts members have relied on for too long in an effort to keep each other in line.
Jul 27, 2021•52 min•Season 3Ep. 61
Whether faith promoting or fraught, the idea of being blessed figures prominently in Latter-day Saint teachings. Common use of words like 'earning' and 'qualifying' can make it hard not to view blessings as transactional. How can we make sense of blessings we receive—or those we don't? What is our part in obtaining specific outcomes and righteous desires? Can our faithful actions influence God's will? In this discussion, Cynthia and Susan attempt to find a little peace on a sticky topic.
Jul 20, 2021•58 min•Season 3Ep. 60
Many Latter-day Saint women don't feel at liberty to talk about their challenges at church. Church history, policy, doctrine, or culture, our personal and family experiences, the ebb and flow of our faith, unexpected doubt or uncertainty—these things can create burdens we carry silently, made heavier by accompanying feelings of guilt, loneliness, unworthiness or shame. In this episode, Susan shares thoughts about her own journey into silence—and thankfully out again—as a woman in the LDS Church.
Jul 13, 2021•41 min•Season 3Ep. 59
It's hard to ignore the fact that our church is heavily focused on the family. From the time we're young, Latter-day Saint girls are taught to expect and prepare for marriage and children as the centerpiece of our lives. And yet the majority of members worldwide are single. In this conversation, we're joined by our friend Mara to discuss some challenges of engaging in a church community where so much teaching and activity is geared toward one very specific ideal.
Jul 06, 2021•53 min•Season 3Ep. 58
"Would you feel the same way if you were someone else, in a different place, time, or situation?" It's a great question, the kind of thought exercise we're rarely encouraged to engage in at church. This episode explores nuance—increased complexity in the ways we think about things. How much richer might our discussions be if we were willing to give space for the expression of a true diversity of thought and experience? How much might our shared understanding increase? And can we ever become comf...
Jun 29, 2021•56 min•Season 3Ep. 57
As members of the body of Christ, we are called to join Jesus in atoning—to take on the shape of one another's pain. It's a call to brave and unreserved love, a message central to the book, "Queer Mormon Theology: An Introduction." In this episode, philosopher/author Blaire Ostler joins Cynthia and Susan for a discussion of everything from the atonement to eternity, with plenty of conversational side-trips along the way. Can queerness and Mormon-ness coexist? In her beautiful theological framing...
Jun 22, 2021•56 min•Season 3Ep. 56
Why does having friends at church feel so important? Feeling known is part of feeling like you belong, but finding friends in a ward with whom you can be yourself isn't always easy. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan talk about friendship, and how our relationships with the members with whom we worship and serve can impact not only our church experience, but our personal and family happiness and spiritual well-being.
Jun 15, 2021•52 min•Season 3Ep. 55
President Russell M. Nelson has encouraged the women of the Church to “have the courage and vision of Mother Eve.” It’s a great thought, but what does it mean? What would it look like for Latter-day Saint women to follow Eve’s example in their own lives? Kajsa Berlin-Kaufusi shares empowering insights and ideas inspired by this phrase in a discussion of her essay, 4th Wave Feminism and ‘Being Like Mother Eve.’
Jun 08, 2021•54 min•Season 3Ep. 54
It's a question we ask ourselves all the time: Why do so many Latter-day Saints—leaders and members—seem to prefer nudging people to walk away from our community over doing the work of love? Mormons don't generally shy away from hard work, and we're devoted to showing our love for God. But "love" sometimes ends up in derisive air quotes in our collective discourse, rather than genuinely guiding our actions or our hearts. It's hard to understand how a church that bears Jesus' name struggles to ma...
Jun 01, 2021•51 min•Season 3Ep. 53
Some high-profile gay men are helping Latter-day Saints grow our collective understanding by sharing their perspectives and experiences through books and podcasts, but—what about queer LDS women? Isn't it time we all heard more about their lives and journeys? In this episode, Cynthia and Susan are joined by Colette Dalton, LCSW, for a glimpse of her personal path and a discussion about some of the unique challenges for LGBTQ women in the Church.
May 25, 2021•51 min•Season 3Ep. 52
The temple is a topic around which many Latter-day Saints tiptoe, a complicated centerpiece of our religious practices. It is sacred, but also secret. It is of paramount importance, but participation in its ordinances requires a recommend not all members receive. It unites families, but can also divide them. In this second discussion, Cynthia and Susan unpack a few ideas and symbols from the temple, including the one way it impacts the lives of endowed members directly every day—garments.
May 18, 2021•55 min•Season 3Ep. 51
Body image is complicated for many women, but for Latter-day Saints, it can feel particularly fraught. Our approaches to teaching about modesty and sexuality, coupled with a strong cultural ideal surrounding women's roles, can add up to impossible expectations with damaging results. For this conversation, Susan and Cynthia are joined by Hannah Hinckley and Jessica Nielson, who share experiences and messaging they internalized growing up in the Church, and how it impacted them. It's a discussion ...
May 11, 2021•50 min•Season 3Ep. 50
If you're going to start a women's podcast, you'd better come prepared with a thick skin. Social media is a big part of the At Last She Said It project. Amplifying women's voices, ideas, experiences and concerns requires interacting with a lot of women. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan respond to one specific social media comment that somehow pushed too many buttons to ignore. It's a perfect illustration of the kind of silencing that inspired the podcast to begin with.
May 04, 2021•56 min•Season 3Ep. 49
Historian Shantel Gardner joins us for a conversation about the legendary Emma Smith. When Moroni prophesied that Joseph's name "should be both good and evil spoken of among all people," the angel may as well have been talking about Joseph's wife. Why have Latter-day Saints had a conflicted relationship with Emma through the years? Is that changing? In this episode, we dig a little deeper into the real and complex woman whose life continues to inspire a diversity of opinions in members of the ch...
Apr 27, 2021•54 min•Season 3Ep. 48
In the first episode of Season 3, Cynthia and Susan discuss things they'd like the men at church to better understand about the experiences of Latter-day Saint women. How might our brothers—whether in leadership positions, or just in the pews—show increased empathy, amplify women's voices, and encourage the creative thinking required to continue expanding our opportunities and influence at church?
Apr 20, 2021•55 min•Season 3Ep. 47
It can be terrifying to take the metaphorical lid off the box that holds everything you think you know about God. What do you do when you outgrow your old ideas? Can you trust the hopeful whisperings of your own heart if those whisperings also spark fear? In this bonus episode, Susan shares the journey that led her, as a Latter-day Saint woman, to reexamine and move beyond her previous answers in pursuit of questions that have expanded her faith.
Mar 30, 2021•38 min•Season 2Ep. 46
What do we know, 2 seasons into this podcast? One thing seems certain—we're not the only women having the thoughts, feelings, ideas and experiences that inspired us to create the At Last She Said It project. More women are joining the conversation every day. In this bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan share some listeners' stories and feedback, and talk a bit about the road ahead.
Mar 09, 2021•45 min•Season 2Ep. 45
In the Season 2 finale, Susan and Cynthia share and discuss the ongoing love lessons they're learning as they try—more successfully some days than others—to keep following Jesus as the focus of their faith lives.
Feb 16, 2021•56 min•Season 2Ep. 44
From the time we are young girls, women are socialized to keep a calm exterior. It's an unhealthy expectation, since we experience the full range of human emotion. In the Church and in the world, an angry man is perceived as being tough or powerful, but an angry woman earns a much less positive label. For Latter-day Saint women, meekness, niceness, and peace-keeping are valued traits. Being sad is okay, but being furious is not. In Episode 43, a guest shares her insights into the lack of space m...
Feb 09, 2021•54 min•Season 2Ep. 43
