Ask The Nincompoops - podcast cover

Ask The Nincompoops

Andy Stanton & Carrie Quinlantwitter.com

A riotously funny all-ages podcast where Andy Stanton (author of the Mr Gum books, extremely bright) and Carrie Quinlan (of Radio 4, also extremely bright) allow children (not bright) to ask any questions that they want the answers to. Who invented cheese? What are trees for and why are they everywhere? What’s the opposite of a kettle?


Using their immense brains, Andy and Carrie will answer the questions your children ask. The only catch? They’ll do it very, very badly.


Reviewers call the show ‘amazing,” ‘so good”, and “the best podcast on Planet Earth.”


Picked as one of the BEST PODCASTS FOR CHILDREN by The Huffington Post and British Podcast Award nominee for BEST FAMILY PODCAST.


Love from

Carrie and Andy

(aka the Nincompoops)

xx

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Episodes

Term 3 Lesson 15: Do Rocks and Pebbles Taste Nice?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! Hosted o...

Dec 09, 202319 minSeason 3Ep. 15

Term 3 Lesson 14: Why Do Flamingos Stand On One Leg?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Why do ladybirds have six legs? How does hair grow? H...

Dec 02, 202322 minSeason 3Ep. 14

Term 3, Lesson 13: Why Are Sprouts Disgusting?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! Hosted o...

Nov 25, 202321 minSeason 3Ep. 13

Term 3 Lesson 12: What Is The World Made Of?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! Hosted o...

Nov 18, 202322 minSeason 3Ep. 12

Term 3, Lesson 11: Where Does All The Poo In The World End Up?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! Hosted o...

Nov 11, 202323 minSeason 3Ep. 11

Term 3, Lesson 10: Who Invented The Door?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! Hosted o...

Nov 03, 202321 minSeason 3Ep. 10

Term 3, Lesson 9 : Why Do Horsemen Have Babies?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! Hosted o...

Oct 28, 202321 minSeason 3Ep. 9

Term 3, Lesson 8: How Do You Make Scrambled Eggs?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! Hosted o...

Oct 21, 202321 minSeason 3Ep. 8

Term 3, Lesson 7: Who Invented Ketchup?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! Hosted o...

Oct 14, 202321 minSeason 3Ep. 7

Term 3, Lesson 6: How Long Have You Been Doing This?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! Hosted o...

Oct 07, 202320 minSeason 3Ep. 6

Term 3, Lesson 5: How Big Was The World’s Biggest Crisp Ever?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! Hosted o...

Sep 30, 202320 minSeason 3Ep. 5

Term 3, Lesson 4: Why Do Speakers Make Music Loud?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! Hosted o...

Sep 23, 202320 minSeason 3Ep. 4

Term 3, Lesson 3: Who Invented Cricket?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! And if y...

Sep 16, 202323 minSeason 3Ep. 3

Term 3, Lesson 2: Why Do Adults Drink Horrible Things Like Coffee?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! And if y...

Sep 09, 202320 minSeason 3Ep. 2

Term 3, Lesson 1: Why Is Water See-Through?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! And if y...

Sep 02, 202321 minSeason 3Ep. 1

ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS ARE BACK!

Ask The Nincompoops are BACK! And they're going to STAY BEING BACK! What are you doing on Saturday mornings? Well from now on, you're being EDUMACATED. From next week, there'll be a new episode every Saturday morning when you wake up (unless you wake up at 3am - it won't be ready at that time. You also might need to see a sleep specialist). And there's a brand new live show coming to London soon too. A university-standard education for your children under 10 in just an hour.* Tickets here! https...

Aug 25, 202330 sec

ASK THE CHRISTMAS NINCOMPOOPS live on Saturday 17th December at Kings Place in London!

Now’s your chance to put YOUR questions LIVE to the huge SQUISHY brains of two GENIUSES as the brilliant ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS brings you it's first annual Christmas show! Coming to London's King Place at 11am on Saturday the 17th December 2002 for ONE MORNING ONLY! Reviewers call the show ‘amazing,” ‘so good”, and “the best podcast on Planet Earth.” Come along and find out why! Picked as one of the BEST PODCASTS FOR CHILDREN by The Huffington Post and British Podcast Award nominee for BEST FAMILY...

Dec 15, 202242 secSeason 2Ep. 14

ASK THE CHRISTMAS NINCOMPOOPS live on Saturday 17th December at Kings Place in London!

Now’s your chance to put YOUR questions LIVE to the huge SQUISHY brains of two GENIUSES as the brilliant ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS brings you it's first annual Christmas show! Coming to London's King Place at 11am on Saturday the 17th December 2002 for ONE MORNING ONLY! Reviewers call the show ‘amazing,” ‘so good”, and “the best podcast on Planet Earth.” Come along and find out why! Picked as one of the BEST PODCASTS FOR CHILDREN by The Huffington Post and British Podcast Award nominee for BEST FAMILY...

Dec 02, 202252 secSeason 2Ep. 13

ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS live at the London Podcast Festival!

Now’s your chance to put YOUR questions LIVE to the huge SQUISHY brains of two GENIUSES as the brilliant ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS makes its LIVE debut! Coming to London's King Place at 11am on Saturday the 10th September 2002 for ONE MORNING ONLY! Reviewers call the show ‘amazing,” ‘so good”, and “the best podcast on Planet Earth.” Come along and find out why! Picked as one of the BEST PODCASTS FOR CHILDREN by The Huffington Post and British Podcast Award nominee for BEST FAMILY PODCAST. Tickets here...

Aug 23, 20222 minSeason 2Ep. 12

Term 2, Episode 10: Why Does A Clock Tick?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Today it's a return visit for miniscule imps ROSIE an...

Jan 03, 202022 minSeason 2Ep. 11

Term 2, Lesson 9: Do Superheroes Take Holidays?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Today it's a return visit for small humans AMY and AL...

Dec 27, 201919 minSeason 2Ep. 10

The Ask The Nincompoops Christmas Special!

In this edumactational festive special, Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are answering the Christmas questions sent into them by listeners to the Ask The Nincompoops podcasts. With a special guest all the way from Santa's workshop in the North Pole (via Hendon), this is the only podcast to be approved by Santa and most of his reindeer. This podcast is suitable for all the family! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/priv...

Dec 23, 201923 minSeason 2Ep. 9

Term 2, Lesson 8: If You Were On An Aeroplane With Your Least Favourite People, Who Would You Kick Off?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Today it's a return visit for young imps DOUG and SEV...

Dec 20, 201920 minSeason 2Ep. 8

Term 2, Lesson 7: Were Cavemen Actually Real?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Today it's a return visit for straw-headed tots MICHA...

Dec 13, 201921 minSeason 2Ep. 7

Term 2, Lesson 6: When We Get Tired of Walking, Why Can’t We Just Start Flying?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Today it's a return visit for the rosy-cheeked moppet...

Dec 06, 201920 minSeason 2Ep. 6

Term 2, Lesson 5: What Are Trees For and Why Are They Everywhere?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Today it's the turn of tiny squidlings DOUG and SEVAN...

Nov 29, 201920 minSeason 2Ep. 5

Term 2, Lesson 4: Why is Google called Google?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Today it's the turn of the two tiny women AMY and ALI...

Nov 22, 201921 minSeason 2Ep. 4

Term 2, Lesson 3: Why Don’t Dogs Poo in the Toilet?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Today it's the turn of young tykes MACAULEY, KEIRA an...

Nov 15, 201921 minSeason 2Ep. 3

Term 2, Lesson 2: What's The Point of Wasps?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Today it's the turn of young nippers ROSIE and DYLAN ...

Nov 08, 201925 minSeason 2Ep. 2

Term 2, Lesson 1: How Do Mirrors Make You See Yourself?

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. All you children have soft, squashy brains which don't work very well. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. After all, how many kids have won the Nobel Prize for Genetics? NONE. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft,...

Nov 01, 201920 minSeason 2Ep. 1
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