How many emails we get are dark emails from people who are looking for any glimmer of hope that they can get. And in the case today, it's in the form of an email from an anonymous man. Pastor John, hello, I'm 65, disabled, and struggling to cope with immense loss in family trials over the past 18 months. I've endured the deaths of my mother, sister-in-law, uncle, brother-in-law, and even my dog, all within this short span of time.
As an only child, these losses have deeply affected my mental and emotional health. On top of this, my 22 year old grandson, who was once very active in the church and knew the Bible well, is now identifying as a transgender woman. While I've tried to be as accepting as I can, I've made it clear I cannot affirm his identity as female because I believe God doesn't make mistakes.
This has strained our relationship. He now refuses to come to family gatherings unless I acknowledge him as a woman. I feel overwhelmed by these trials and am not sure how much more I can bear. I remain constant in prayer and am grateful for the support of your podcast, which has been a lifeline.
How can I navigate these challenges while honoring God and showing love to my grandson without compromising my convictions? How do I find the strength to endure the grief and the struggles that I'm facing? This 65-year-old man, her friend, I feel like he's a friend. makes so clear for us the inevitable reality that as we grow older, we not only face our own death, but we increasingly face the death of people we love.
We tend to be aware of the fact that age makes us more conscious of our mortality, but we tend to be less conscious. of the fact that age makes us vulnerable to the mortality of others. And that's what our friend is largely drawing our attention to. It isn't his own death. That has made him so discouraged. It's the loss of four precious people. And even his dog. So to the degree that our relationships are meaningful to us.
Those losses are like amputations. They cut something away from our life because our life is so interwoven with their life. And then he adds, and it seems to me this is probably the most painful part of his unhappiness, that his grandson is claiming to be a woman and the relationship is broken.
So these two heartaches, the loss of loved ones, not to mention the disability, which I don't know anything about, but that complicates everything too. But these two heartaches, the loss of loved ones through death and the impending loss of a grandson through profound disagreement about righteousness. are related in a sense. In one case, the pain comes from the precious family members dying physically. And in the other case, the pain comes from a precious grandson on the path to die eternal.
So we can feel the combined weight of loss. in both cases. And what we want in this situation is wisdom and love and strength. to press on in the presence of loss, loss physically, loss relationally. It's not easy. I don't claim to have an easy remedy here. You live with pain. if you live long enough It is possible, though. It is possible to find that strength and to press on, to keep going and not lose heart. It is possible because the Bible exists for this very reason.
So all I have to offer, besides my prayers, is the powerful truth of God's word for these two situations. And I believe the word of God, the scriptures, give the wisdom, they give the power to love, they give the strength that are needed in both of these painful cases. So let's take them one at a time with regard to the loss of loved ones in death The Bible presents us with at least seven precious, powerful truths that put steel in our spine even while we weep. Number one.
To live is Christ and to die is gain, Philippians 1.21. To believe this is to have the burden lifted that our loved ones are in any way hurting or losing or suffering at all. They're not. if they were Christians. Number two, those who die in Christ will be raised with glorious new bodies.
at the coming of Jesus, 1 Thessalonians 4, 16. That's precious for those who've gone. It's precious for a man living with a disability in his life. Number three, if any of these loved ones was not a believer, we rivet our attention on the goodness and justice of God and say, With Moses. The judge of all the earth will do right in Genesis 18.25. We trust him. He's going to do right by these people, by us. Number four. We grieve, Paul says, not as those who have no hope
1 Thessalonians 4.13 Paul believes that hope will see us through grief. No matter how deep it will. So don't stop hoping while you grieve. 5. The steadfast love of the Lord is better than life. Psalm 63.3. Life here on this earth, in this age, is not meant to be the best life. God is the best life. Get life from God, from that life, his life. Hold this world lightly. 6. There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18, 24. His name is Jesus.
And he promised to be with us always to the end of the age. Matthew 28, 20. Stay close to Jesus. He will not leave you in these troubles. Finally, number seven, you have an anchor of the soul so that your boat will not sink in the waves of these sorrows as they break over you. Hebrews 6.19 says,
We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul. And then he defines it. A hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain. This hope, this anchor, doesn't anchor you to the bottom of the sea. It anchors you to the holiest place in heaven. The chain goes up into the holy place where the blood of Jesus secures you. Hold these seven truths. Embrace them to yourself. Believe them. Be strong in them. And the same is true with regard to your grandson.
The Bible gives you stability. A place to stand. Not for the sake of winning an argument. but for the sake of loving with truth rather than loving with make-believe. Five truths to hold on to. Number one. God created man, male and female, Genesis 1.26. This was his design from the beginning, which Jesus went back to when he was dealing with sexual issues in his day, Matthew 19.4. number two God marked off maleness.
with the amazing capacity to father a child. He marked off femaleness with the beautiful capacity to bear a child and nurse a child. And whether a man fathers or a woman bears, All of us should honor these gifts by the way we treat our bodies as male and female. Third, God warns against cross-dressing, Deuteronomy 22.5, and against homosexuality. Defying God's word puts one on the path to eternal death. 1 Corinthians 6. 9 and 10. For therefore loving a grandson does not equal affirming his sin.
Just the opposite. Love desires, above all, that he be spared the consequences of destruction. So love makes clear the path of life and prays for it and for him and does what it can. Love does what it can to help a grandson see it. And finally, be aware that your grandson may be treating you in a way that is worse than you are treating him. There may be a proper time to draw his attention to this. That's not your goal but you might. I've seen it work once or twice.
He resents it. He resents it when you do not recognize his supposed core identity. as a woman he says he can't have a relationship with you while you fail to affirm his new identity But does he see that he's failing to affirm your core identity? You are at your core a person of deep allegiance to Jesus and his word. that is closer to your truest identity than his supposed femaleness is to his truest identity. But unlike him, you don't resent his disapproval.
Take note of that. Jesus taught you to expect it, not resent. You don't expect him to affirm your true identity, as precious as it is, infinitely precious. and you're not making his affirmation or his approval of your convictions a condition of spending time together. You can look him in the eye, it sounds to me, from what you're saying, and I think it's right. You can look him in the eye and say,
I do not approve or affirm of your claim to be a woman. I think your transgender efforts are sin and that you are on the path to destruction if you don't repent. But I love you. And I am willing to spend time with you without continually bringing that up. Are you willing to look me in the eye? and say, I do not approve or affirm of the goodness of your Christian convictions and identity. I think you're a bigot, but I love you, and I'm willing to spend time with you.
I pray that God would use his word to make you strong in the midst of your losses and would give you wisdom and courage to love your grandson in the truth. Amen. Yeah, the seven precious, powerful truths that put steel in our spine even while we weep. Thank you, Pastor John, and thanks for joining us today. If you have a question, to ask Pastor John, even a dark one. that comes from the pain of life that you're facing, send it to us. You can find a link to email us at askmasterjohn.com.
Well, speaking of waiting in the darkness, why did God wait so long after the fall of Adam and Eve and to send the second Adam, our Savior, Jesus Christ? It was thousands of years later. And two listeners, Bryce and Craig, Want to know why it took so long? Why didn't Christ appear sooner and bring salvation to more people? In particular, what does Paul mean when he talks about the fullness of time in Galatians 4.4?
I'm Tony Rankin. We'll see you next time for that. Keep your great Bible questions coming in and have a great weekend. We'll see you on Monday.