The Final Round

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This is an encore episode of Ask Me Another. This is uh I mean I s usually it's supposed to be makers in it. This is four roses. Nice. It is a a bourbon whiskey. Oh yeah. That's not too much, is it? What is too much? Yeah, that's what I said. Okay.

All right. Okay. Well my friend, to the last one. From NPR. From NPR and W NYC coming to you from the It's not as smooth as I thought it was gonna be. From NPR and W NYC. From beautiful Brooklyn, New York. Yeah. Ofeira Eisenberg. Thanks, Jonathan. You're welcome. Oh, so you know, just for to let everyone in, we would do a shot of um whiskey. We would do maker's mark usually before we went on stage. That's right.

Before every ask me another show. Before every show. Yeah. And the reason I'll tell you where that came from for me is that I had the opportunity to go on the road back in the day with Radio Lab. And they did that before their show and I was like, Why does everyone take a shot? And they were like, Because you just have to remember that like, you know

You're just here to have a good time. And I was like, That is great. Yeah. It's a nice way to it's a nice way to set the tone. There is a lot of hard work that goes into the show, but it's supposed to be fun. At the end of the day, you do the hard work in advance so that when you get up on stage, you can just relax. Right. And ev any time you go, Wow, this is really serious or there's stress or there's problems, then you all have a moment to reset and remember.

that you're about to do a trivia comedy show. That's right. And for those of you who have never been backstage at the Bell House. I you know, I really do miss the Bellhouse. And but the w the thing that I love, uh it's and I don't I don't really know the explanation for why it is there, but in the in the green room, hang on the wall, there is a flag that says don't give up the ship.

And I I don't know. I I have thought of that flag so many times. But we have uh we have this last uh show to do. You know, so what we've done if we is uh we have Uh basically the best friends of the show. People we love, people that have been involved in the show. Yeah. And it's gonna be

Yeah. Uh so thanks everybody for for listening over all these years. Oh my goodness, thank you so much. Uh it's been a great privilege to work on the show. Uh here it comes, your last episode. That was Suburban Tacum. It's just your Here comes your last episode. Ask me another has been through a lot of changes over the years, but one thing has remained constant. Best friends of the show, composers Kristen Anderson Lopez and Bobby Lopez have come back time and time again, including today.

Kristen, Bobby, hello. Hey, hello. Thanks for having us back for the last one. Uh thank you so much. I have to ask you a question. We've had you on Well this I think is the seventh time. Sincerely, how how is it that we were able to get you back so many times? Why? Yeah. What are you thinking? Don't you actually think that's a good idea? I th I think it's a bit of a supply and demand kind of formula that um you've got some skewed data on. All right, well.

I like that it's in your favor. We're like, you are so amazing. You're like, We accept all calls. I don't know what you're talking about.

Uh I'm just gonna ask that the truck that is about to unload a mound of Rubik's Cubes onto your driveway drive away. We have a lot left over as it turns out. So Uh how are your bats? Aren't there bats in your driveway? Um Breezeway. What is a Breezeway? Um a Breezeway is a covered it's a New England thing because snow. And so it connects a house to a garage in our

And the bats um for a while like we actually built bat houses. We have no mosquitoes up here because there's so many bats. Nice. They eat all the mosquitoes. That's a beautiful thing. But also at the end of the night they come, they hang out in our breezeway and they digest all like hundreds of pounds of mosquitoes directly onto the walkway which Bobby Bobby just got a bat poop blower. Yeah, it's kinda like a leaf blower, but it but it's for bat poop.

Nice. Is it a an appliance specifically for for guano? Is that is that true? Yeah, it's the guano air guano three thousand. Yeah. Well, why are bats the only animals that poop guano? Is that true? So wait. What de penguins poop? Well you know what, but I'm just I'm realizing now this is the quiz we should have been playing. We're gonna give Who's whose poop is it? Whose poop is it? I mean when you're talking about a finale.

So this uh this internet is telling me that Juano is specifically for bats and seabirds. Thank you. Thank you. Ask me another. Yeah.

So um so we have a very fun audio quiz for you called VIP Voices. Ooh. We are gonna play you a past clip of an Ask Me Another VIP, which means a very important puzzler. And you are just gonna listen to the audio clip and you're gonna tell us who you think it is. Oh, this is where it's really bad that I remember faces. And not names. The visual learner is going to have some problems right now. I think I think you'll be surprised. Okay.

So let's uh let's play a clip and we're gonna go back and forth. Kristen this one is for you. Uh this guest joined us in 2015. He came back from outer space. To recite the lyrics to Taylor Swift's song Blank Space. Screaming, crying, perfect storms, I can make all the tables turn rose garden filled with thorns, keep you second guessing like oh my god who is. That's Patrick Stewart. That is correct. Absolutely. That is amazing. Right?

I mean he could basically turn anything to s make it sound like Shakespeare. He could read the phone book and I would pay a hundred dollars to see it. I mean I remember many things about uh when he came on the show, but he at the time lived in Brooklyn. And so he walked to the venue. Oh wow Which is just a funny thing to think of. Alright, Bobby, this guest starred in the Netflix series Russian doll, and she joined us in twenty sixteen to tell us what she keeps in her bag.

I always carry a spare pair of panties. Smart. Sunglasses and prescription glasses. Right. And uh Nickerette and cigarettes. Uh lighter, backup lighter, metro card, twenty dollars, AMX Visa, ID. Uh that's Natasha Leon. That is correct. That is right. She brought her dog root beer and her dog was uh backstage the whole time making a lot of noise, if I recall correctly. Audio engineer is freaking out. I I'm having like sense memory back to like whether I listen to these podcasts

In our car or in our kitchen? Yes. All right, Kristen. Okay. You know this guest from Broadway. In 2019, she joined us in Houston, Texas to share her love of 7-Eleven Slurpees. It's the combination of the crushed ice with the Coca Cola feel, so it's the burn of a Coke. Do you guys know what I mean? Some of them know. And then the with the ice and it never gets melty.

I love Slurpee, okay? Yeah. And I love 7-Eleven. I'm not kidding. Yeah. And I'm not being paid. No. That would be the amazing Christian channelist. Absolutely. I you remember that show too, Jonathan, where Kristen Kristen all of a sudden um like she just decided to sing. Yeah. Or or uh in the answer to a clue and she

Just like without opera in like at a at an operatically high range and I don't remember hearing her do a warm up or anything. No, she can just go sh that's her trick. She goes like ha except like a Yeah, it's insane.

Mm-hmm. All right, Bobby, this is the last one. It is for you. This reality TV mentor joined us in twenty sixteen and he told us he wasn't always so confident in his sartorial choices. I know who it is. I know who it is. You already know. I've been a fan of pocket squares forever, but I could never do it. I would experiment. I'd put my jacket out on my bed. I'd flatten it out. I'd stick the pocket square in. I'd think, uh, it looks all right.

Then I'd put the jacket on, look in a mirror and say, You look like an ass. Well I know his name is Tim. It's uh Tim Um it's it's not a sword. It's not a uh spear. Spear Tim Spear. It's not a candlestick. It's not a rope. There can be water ones. Oh Tim Gunn. Yes. Yeah. Tim Gunn is correct. Yes. He is the nicest, kindest man when Tim came on the show.

I went up to say hi to him and he said, Well, you must be Jonathan Colton. What a pleasure it is to meet you. I enjoy your work and I was like, Wow, that guy really he did his research, he went out of his way To say hello and I was very touched. Is that what we should have done? Should we have done it? I know, and you and you kinda blew it. You guys kinda blew it. You must be Jonathan Colton. I hear you have a cruise.

And then years later, years later, I was at uh I will just say I was at a red carpet event and I was wearing a tuxedo and he was also at this red carpet event also wearing a tuxedo. I went up to say hello to him and I was prepared to do the thing where I was like, I don't know if you remember me, but you were on the show, asked me another. And as I started to launch into that, he cut me off and he said, Well, it's Jonathan Colton. It's a pleasure to see you again and you clean up very nice.

It's just like wow. He's a superhero of kindness, truly. Oh wow. Thank you so much. Chris and Bobby, thank you for be for being such great friends of the show. Always always showing up. and having so much fun with us. Well we've always loved this show. Thank you so much for making it. Thanks for thank making it for nine years. Thank you for for not doing your research and thinking that we are bigger celebrities than we are.

Um I really appreciate that. And and truly we've some of the best times we've ever had in the car with our family has been have been listening to uh your wonderful puzzles and songs and learning so much and um I just hope it comes back in another Form or next month. Guess what? It's Ask Me Another. Holocast. Ask me another, another. It was all a joke. It was all a joke. Thank you so much. World we say happy trail. Oh yes. That's a good one. Until next time. 다음 영상에서 만나요.

After the break, we'll play our final music parody. One might call it our end game. I'm Ufira Eisenberg and this is Ask Me Another from NPR. Support for NPR and the following message come from the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation, investing in creative thinkers and problem solvers who help people, communities, and the planet flourish. More information is available at Hewlett.org.

This is Ask Me Another, NPR's Final Hour of Puzzles, Word Games, and Trivia. I'm Jonathan Colton. Now here's your host, O'Fhira I. Thanks, Jonathan. So here we are with our friends, comedians Apart and Anchorla and Joyelle Nicole Johnson. They're joining us to play. The very last word game. I think we're ever gonna play on Ask Me Another. So welcome back.

I know. Yay. Honored to be here for the last. Uh so since this is our last show, just wondering, do you have are you the kind of per people who plan for endings? I have a go bag. You have a go bag? Do you really need a go bag? Yeah. Wow. If my go bag is just my purse I carry around, I mean there is like many pounds of stuff in there. I don't know if any of it is useful, but if

It's the apocalypse calls for receipts from eight years ago. Yeah. Very good. So a part of Joel When things get hectic or stressful at the show, we have always said, you know, wait a second, remember everybody, there is no such thing as a trivia emergency. But you can never be careful enough. So just in case something goes wrong, we have set aside an emergency game for a very long time. We've kept it in a box behind glass.

And that's it. This is the time. So I have it here with me. And now I've got a hammer ready. Uh you have no idea how long I have wanted to break this, but here we go. All right, I'm gonna pull out the gabe. And I actually I didn't tell you this if you're but a couple of years ago I was just curious and I s I already smashed my glass box, so I have the script already. Of course you did. That makes perfect sense. I wasn't supposed to, but I really wanted to see what it was.

All right. Well let me look at it. I'm looking at it for the first time. Let's see. Oh, okay. In this word game, you'll mash up two terms linked by the word box. Little on the nose, yeah. All right. A little disappointing actually. Alright, so for example, if we said once they got this Microsoft video game console, these kids from a beloved book series stopped solving mysteries and became Twitch celebrities, you would answer.

Xbox Car Children. So you're mashing up the video game console Xbox with the book series, The Box Car Children. Great. All right. Aparna. Yes. Movie theaters are attempting to lure back customers by installing this classic children's toy at their ticket counters. Keep turning the crank until a clown pops out to sell you two tickets to see Space Jam a New Legacy. Oh, Jack in the box office? Yes, exactly. Oh boy! Yes. Very nice. Yes.

Jack in the box toy. I hated that toy. Who is that for? I know. Nobody likes clowns and nobody especially likes surprise clowns. Surpr shocking kind of clowns. Yes. Alright, Joelle, open this infamous container from Greek mythology, and you'll be bombarded with all the world's evils, including a bag of Zinfandel. Uh I was uh Box Wine. Box box wine. Box wine is not yet. A w a woman's name.

Pre Spotify. Lizzo Box wine. Lizzo Box wine. I would buy that. I'm gonna accept that answer because I think that should be a real product and I would like to drink some of it right now. What did I miss? What what was the streaming? Pandora's we were looking for Pandora's boxed one. All right. Aparna. Guess what? Canadians aren't so nice after all. Now in hockey, if you break the rules, not only do you have to sit in the sin bin, you also have to strip down to your underwear. Penalty boxer.

Oops. Yes! Yes and yes and nice work. All right, this is your last clue ever. Ever. Make a clue. I gotta get it, I gotta get it. Joelle, Nirvana's original version of this song was about the base of a very romantic bed. Box spring? Box spring is the second half, that's right. Yeah, and then the you know little emoji that you would associate with love. Heartbox.

Yes, and shove it together. Heart box spring. What's the Nirvana song? The Nirvana s yeah, the Nirvana song is Heart Shaped Box. So it would be Heart Shaped Box Spring. But we'll give it to you. You you got it. Yeah, you totally got that. Um, I know that I will see you both in other places and in real life, but I just have to extend in this moment just a huge hearty over-the-wi-fi hug to you both and thank you for being here.

I'm so sad the show got cancelled in person. We're so glad that you were here to be with us for the end. So thank you so much. Thank you guys. So every so often our house musician Jonathan Colton has somewhere else to be. Maybe he's on vacation, maybe a cruise, maybe he's cheating on us with another podcast. No matter what the case may be, our next two guests come in and save the day. Julian Villard is our guest house musician.

His latest album is called Please Don't Make Me Play Piano Man. And Cecil Baldwin is our guest puzzle guru. He voices the podcast Welcome to Night Vale, which is now in it. 10th season, and he co-hosts Random Number Generator Horror Podcast, number nine. Cecil Julian.

Thank you so much for joining us. This is our finale. Welcome. Oh, so bittersweet. I know. But mostly sweet. You saying those words kind of gave me a little bit goosebumps. I'm like, oh yeah, this is wow. Okay. This is the finale. Yeah. This is it. This is it. This is it. So you both have joined us. In Brooklyn, outside of Brooklyn. On the road. Yeah. Uh anything stand out? Anything stand out from these experiences?

I um yeah, I mean I've had some pretty awesome experiences. Um my favorite one was I'm pretty sure that Jessica Walter was indirectly flirting with me on stage. I'm pretty sure that was happening because I was singing and she was totally like, ooh, I like your voice. Like I couldn't tell if she was Lucille Bluthing me or it was real, but I totally just went with it and it was great. No, no, I sat beside her. I remembered that she had like a I would say a a look of mischief.

It was a little there was a little bit. I was like, oh I was like, she's totally kind of hitting on me right now. I'm into this. That's right. See, so that's hard. That's no no topping that. That's impossible to top. But what do you what's some memories that you have from this crazy Crazy ride called Ask Me Another. I gotta say, out of all the Ask Me Another memories, when Anthony Puroski of Queer Eye told me I had really cool shoes. Oh, that's great.

My my little gay heart went a pitter pat. That's great. And what were the shoes? Just remind our listeners what your shoes were. Yeah, they were cool shape, had little stripey bits on them. Yeah. Queer eye approved. Queer eye approved. Uh do you as as people who work in the entertainment field

as, you know, basically your entire lives as your career. Any thoughts on endings and beginnings? I feel really privileged that I even am getting to have an ending with you guys.'Cause I feel like And that's a it's like especially in this time with everything that's going on, it's yeah it's like we started together and we get to end together and like that's

really kind of cool. Like it doesn't it's so tough. It's such a crazy way to make a living. You kind of have to become hard into all these elements to actually get to have that. It's kind of emotional. It's like it's it's oh wow, this this is like a real thing that we did together that we built and it's really awesome to, you know, get to do it all with you guys. And you're the best. I love hanging out with you. Oh Juliet.

I you know, I gotta tell you, Juliet, you just m what you said sent chills into my body and also I've never expected any wisdom from you. And I Shots fired. No, rightfully so. He knows that it's all within. No, it's I'm it's my brain is it's I believe me, I'm amazed that that just came out of my mouth too.

All right, so let's have let's have a final game. Wanna play a game? Sure, why not? Guys, wanna play a game? One last time. Okay, so you're in luck for your very last game. Your last time here, Jonathan Colton is going to sing you the clues in a music parody game called The Ends. That's right. We changed the lyrics of famous breakup songs to make them about things that contain the letters E N D. Things like Calendar, Big Bend National Park.

Endocronology, and so on. You can earn a point by telling me the end thing or by identifying the song I'm parodying or the artist who made it famous. And Julian, you can also earn a point by just telling me how you would have done it. Oh yeah, sure. If if that's the yeah, good absolutely I'll take criticism is fine. Okay. And I should say you're working together on this, so feel free to uh

You got this Julian? Julian, I feel like this is your wheelhouse right here. Oh well, you know, the song is um I must it it it sounded like you were emulating Sinead O'Connor's version of the famous Prince composition, nothing Numeral two compares to you and I think you are referring to Cecil, I let you

What's not a impression. Yeah, that is correct. Julian, I appreciate your overly detailed answer. You got to compare it all count. That's right, I forgot the U, the letter U. The Shenado Connor version of the Prince song. It's uh uh it's quite Stefani. It's it's no doubt Yes. But I was still I was trying to like foc I got stuck on Twix and I was like, Wait, why are you shaking your Twix bars? Mm-hmm. Julian, do you have any thoughts?

I think the song that Cecil is referring to was actually recorded originally by the band No Doubt and it's called Don't Speak and you are referring to the contraption known as the venting machine. Oh that is All right. Okay, so clearly Dolly Parton's I will always love you. Yes. But I don't I don't know the answer. Julian, do you do you know?

He's referring to uh multi Grammy and uh Oscar and Tony and Emmy Award winning uh star of the uh live action or televised version, live version of Jesus Christ Superstar along with Sarah Borellis, Mr. John Legend. That is That is correct. That is correct. Uh I feel like I'm on Wikipedia right now. I feel like every time Julian song, it's like getting like Wikipedia Live.

I just never get to be that guy on the show because that would make me obnoxious and you never hire me back. This is my last one, so I'm just going for it. No, I love it. I love it so much. All right, here's another one. The only word I can think of is perpendicular. Yeah. That is correct. That is the word. I'm unconsciously a genius. Ha ha ha.

Julian, what can we do? Julian, you want to give a detailed answer? Yeah. Um that is uh a beautiful acoustic rendition of uh Swedish songwriter and performer Robins Synth Pop Smash Dancing on My Own. That's right. And I I gave you eighth notes instead of sixteenth notes. I didn't think that was I didn't know if you were gonna still you know. Oh was that like a hidden way to try to trip a musician up? Jonathan honored the song and not the production and I appr as a songwriter I appreciate that.

Uh okay here's another Julian, you got this. What is you what is this? Um you don't you don't have this? Well I mean U two the U two song I got. Yes. Yes, that's right. No, I'm trying to get the clue. Um okay. Well the clue is uh the Italian musical word for loudness is a crescendo. And yeah, and the uh you're right, you too. It's uh their classic from uh the Joshua Tree, with or without you. Mm-hmm. That's right. Yeah? Mm-hmm. All right, a couple more

Um all right. Uh the the word you got nothing, Cecil? You sure? Should I just go? Let's go your own way. Go your own way and is the clue Innuendo? Innuendo is correct. We also would have accepted double entendre. No clue. Alright, here's the last clue. The last of the last. Really enjoy it everybody. So you gotta know Alanis Morset. Yes. Yes. You ought to know, that's right. But it's like the Declaration of Independence. Yeah. It is Declaration of Independence.

Independence has an END in the middle. Oh, okay. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Yes, so you have you just made it better. That's it. I just said it with a funny accent. That's all. Yeah, you just did it You just added a layer that I that I really appreciated. Thank you so much. Oh my goodness. We love you guys. Thank you for everything. Thank you for always being there. I'm so glad we finally got together to do this. Julian, Cecil.

See you again. Yeah, it's been an honor and an honor and a privilege. Thank you so much for having me be a part of the show. Thank you for the voice. Coming up, Jonathan and I will answer your questions in our final, final round. I'm Ofira Eisenberg, and this is Ask Me Another from NPR. This is Ask Me Another NPR's final hour of Puzzles, Word Games, and Trivia. I'm Jonathan Colton. Now here's your host, Ofeira Eisler. Thank you, Jonathan.

So, um, here's what we're gonna do, my friend. This is just for you and me. I'm gonna ask you about things that have happened on Ask Me Another that our listeners actually never got to hear. All right, so in a cut segment from our two thousand and sixteen Los Angeles Roadshow. Do you remember that? Yes.

Okay, I'll tell you what you said later. Okay. But we did a bit where we pretended one of our guests was running late and had Weird Owl step in to do the interview instead. Okay. This was their idea of a hilarious joke. Who was the guest? That was when we had uh Tom Cruise.

On the show. Yes. It was Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. And of course he was running late. He's he's always late. He's got a lot to do. It was okay, it was not Tom Cruise. All right, who was it? Do you wanna do wanna hear the clips? Yeah, let's hear the clip. So what a a typical day? Yeah, every day. In the life of me, Jeff Goldblum. Okay. No problem. Uh well, in a typical day, uh Uh My alarm would go off at eleven AM. Oh. Um I would put on my rhinestone bedazzled morning speedos.

And then I'd trundle onto the bathroom where my manservant would brush and floss my teeth. Okay, so maybe you know the answer. I mean it's Jeff Goldwell. Yes, exactly. Weird Al is such a funny, funny man. And and in my defense. Yeah. Jeff Goldblum is the Tom Cruise of character actors. You're right. And he's been in a lot of movies. He's been in a lot of movies. Okay, that was very good. Here's a new one. We made quite an entrance in our two thousand and eighteen San Diego Road Show.

How did we come into that theater? Do you remember? This I believe I remember this. I bel I believe what we did is We got those electric scooters that some cities have, like littering the sidewalk like garbage. We each picked one and we each rode in. From the back of the house all the way down the aisle and just dropped him in front of the stage and jumped on the stage. And hopped on the stage. And it was quite an incline, may I say it? It was it felt a little unsafe. And it was the bird.

The bird scooters, that's the bird scooters. And then I don't know what happened to the bird. All I remember is that uh I guess mine did not get returned immediately. So it was a hefty charge. It was a very long rental. But that's fine. Yeah. That's fine. Okay. We have a clip of Travis announcing our entrance. Let's listen to it. Let's listen to this triumphant moment. Please welcome to the stage. The historic Balboa Theater. Diego, Ovira, Eisenberg, and Jonathan Cole.

I mean l let me just say massive props to producer Travis Larchak for his professional wrestling intro. Oh my god, I felt like I was at I was at wrestling inside of a monster truck. This is so good. Did you hear that cheer? People loved the scooters. All right. All right. Here's your next one. In a bit that we cut out of our 2017 show with musician Jason Moraz, we handed him an object.

And asked him to do something with it. Hm. What was it? We handed him a ask me another Rubik's Cube. It's a good object. And we asked to stick it where the sun don't shine. We're like, we're done. Um did he open an avocado farm? Yes. We handed him an avocado and asked him to identify what kind of avocado it was. Close. We just asked him to identify The ripeness.

Is this a ripe avocado? Right, the thing you go through in your house all the time. How do you know? Is it time to slice it or not? You're telling me that this got cut out of the show the moment where he asked Jason Moraz if the avocado was ripe? Yeah, well let's listen. Is

That avocado ripe. Yes. Even he knew at the time. He was like, this is not good for radio. What are you people doing? Yeah, right. He was like, Can I go? I thought this was a real show. Why are you giving me an avocado on a radio show? You know that I'm Jason Moraz, right?

All right. This is a classic one that comes up in my brain when I think of all the different things. Like when things go great, you wanna celebrate them. But what you really wanna talk about after the show is when it did not go as expected. So in two thousand and thirteen. Yeah, we forgot to hit record. before interviewing one of our guests and we had to do the interview all over again. Who was the guest?

I remember this. I will never forget it because it is one of my biggest fears is that I'm gonna do a thing that is supposed to be recorded and just never hit record. So I will never forget it was R L Stein, author R. L. Stein. Yes, R L Stein. And what a professional creative person because he rolled with it, he was not upset at all, and he came back on and I asked him.

Some of the same interview questions, some different ones to keep it fresh. And he answered all of them differently. He made like an entirely new, interesting segment. Yes. Thank you for not yelling at it. All right, so this year we spoke to a presidential Medal of Freedom recipient who greeted us in an unexpected voice. Who are we hearing in this clip? I've enjoyed your radio show for years.

Because'cause you know, I love music. You know the questions you ask people is so silly. I just don't know how they're gonna ever answer these questions. Yes, you watch it, for you watch it. I uh you know, what's shocking is we we hadn't spent ten seconds talking to each other.

When he started doing it and it's like it's I mean it just goes to show what a uh wonderful mind and heart he has. That was Yo Yo Ma. That was yo yo ma. Right. That is the way he chose to enter the room is with a goofy voice. You know, and I was to have him on the show. I was also intimidated. I wanted to make the best use of that time. And then he entered like that and I was like, oh, this is just gonna be great. Yeah. And I want him to be my guru and my psychiatrist and also my mom.

I know. Yeah. Great job, Jonathan. You got uh three out of five. Thanks, Safira. I thought we were keeping score. It's time for the final, final round.

So we usually ask the questions, but this time we asked you, the listeners, to ask us questions, anything you've ever wanted to know about the show or us or whatever. Yeah. But I say to do this we should have a cocktail. I think that's appropriate. The final the final round, as it were. The final, final round. You know what fear lately I've been having uh I've been having uh martinis kind of heavy on the vermouth. Oh interesting. Why is that? I love a martini. Yeah.

But the thing about a martini is it's a lot. Oh my goodness. It's it's a pretty intense beverage. It's kind of boozy. So but because it is a boozy drink, that's You get through this difficult journey and at the end of it you have a meal waiting for you. That's right. Well I do one at the top prime and then one halfway through'cause halfway through you're hungry. And then one at the end to settle your stomach. Right. That's very smart. Okay, good.

There you go. There's your gorgeous. Free olives as ordered. Gorgeous. Cheers. All right, cheers. To you. To you. Okay. What nine years? Where do we start? Okay, well I'm gonna just start. With the most common question we get asked. Yeah. How are we so hilarious?

The truth is people, we don't know. We don't know. If they knew how to do it, they would do it all the time. That's right. But they can't. They tried to bottle it and they couldn't. They couldn't. Yeah. So they were like, you know what you we do with this brilliance? End it. Let's o let's give them nine years and then Actually the number one question we get asked is who was your favorite guest? Mm. That is an impossible question to ask because so many people

have been on the show. I cannot believe how many people. Yeah. Uh John Cameron Mitchell, who you know as Hedwig, you know him from Shrill and lots of television. But he I saw Hedwig when I just moved to New York and I became a Obsessed with that movie and John Cameron Mitchell. And then I saw it on Broadway. Maybe twelve times. So when he showed up on the show, I wore my a tank top that I bought.

From Hedwig and it was amazing because I I remember he looked and went, Where did you get that one? Like I got some special editions. Deep cut. Deep cut for him. I that's the hardest thing that the like fan really fanning out. is hard not to do. I you know Louden Wainwright, who most people will know as Rufus Wainwright's father, um, was on our show, and I try not to do this.

But this was one case where I was like, I just have to be a complete nerd. And so I I went up and I said, I just gotta tell you, I learned so much from you and I Everything I do as a songwriter, it's comes from this base of like listening to your music and understanding what a song is. And and then he said, Well, I guess I'm entitled to ten percent then. Ha ha ha. So you are so you are Lad Wayne, right? Right.

A musician and businessman all at the same time. No, that's true. We've had so many comics on the show. I mean in at the bellhouse and at Zoom, so many I've looked up to. When we had Sarah Silverman on, this was in Zoom, we played a game with her which was real or fake. Kit Kat brand. Right. And Kit Kat sent me a hundred KitKats.

They got in touch with my reps and sent me a hundred Kit Kats. Wow. And I ran into Sarah Silverman recently in New York at a comedy club and I said I got all these Kit Kats and I felt like I should have And she goes, They sent them to me too.

Well wait a minute. How come I did not get any Kit Kats? Everybody in the room got Kit Kats except for Jonathan Colton? I should have I should have given them to you. No, Kit Kat should have given them to me. You're right. I'm sorry. Kit Kat if you're listening. And you have before. No as it turns out. If you're listening, it's too late.

Yeah. So many great things. Riza came on. W I mean that was an amazing get. Thank you. Again, that's a good booking record. So there you go. That is a whole bunch of information on our favorite guests. Okay. So about our games. People love the music parody games, Jonathan, and they would love to know How do they come together? Who writes them? How does it work? Yeah.

Um so I do not write the music parodies. A lot of people don't know this and I feel bad that I get all this credit for work that I haven't done. Do you? I mean No I do. No of course, of course. So we have a whole team of writers who write all of our all of our puzzles, including the music games. Uh and a lot of people write the music games, but I will give a special shout out to Karen Lurie who has written hundreds

of the music parody games. A game show music parody writing expert. Yeah, she was sort of born to do this. And I think part of it is you really need to take it seriously. You really need to have the song. be as equal a part as the the jokes. So the other thing that happens with a live show or even a Zoom show that is then cut down to be a radio show is you have some magic involved, which is called

Editing. That's right. Which is to say they take out the bad parts and they leave the good parts in. Uh Ramel Wood, uh one of our producers and And James Sparber, edit the blocks together and they beautify it and they make us sound as smart and funny as they can, given the meagre materials that we hand them. Uh all right. So how often does Zopira have to cut her bangs? You know what? This is the only thing I need to tell you. No joke, my hairstylist yesterday sent me flowers.

So if that gives you any indication, it is quite a bit. Wow, you got a you got like a corporate gift from your from your hairdresser. Trust me, if I move they're gonna be like, Do we have to close the shop? Yeah, where are you moving to? And what are the rents like there? People have asked How did we meet? Yeah. Good question. That is a good question. Well, we uh there had been an early season of uh like sort of pre practice season of the show.

And uh I got involved part way through that and then they wanted to get a different host and so we were sort of odd I guess auditioning Yeah. And so uh Ofir was one of the people who came in and I remember being in the NPR office and and I was I guess I was out in the waiting room. Yep. And we just had a chat. And I th we just sort of I don't know, we just sort of clicked immediately. It was just like a very comfortable

funny chat. Uh yeah, and it was just like, oh, this person seems totally normal. It's a very low bar. But that's that's a high bar. It's actually a high bar. I mean that's sort of what we're doing now. Here it is. Here it is if you're at the end of the party. It's literally you and me I know in a room in a room together. And we've we're out of questions. We have nothing else. And we'll keep going. Say or talk about it and we're still continuing to talk.

Right. Uh but I think it is time that we we wrap up and I gotta say it has been an a unbelievable joy to hang out and play games with you. Jonathan Colton. Yes, and you too, Fair. It's it's really uh it's really been a a gift. Nine years. Nine years. Can't argue with nine years and uh it has changed so many times. We have been all over the country, we've been in m a lot of different bars and dinner places and green rooms and clubs and Met so many people and

Other people working at public radio stations have welcomed us and uh wow. It has been I guess what they say, one crazy ride. It has. And uh we're so grateful to all the listeners and fans and um Uh we've really loved hearing from you uh especially over these last few weeks. Oh my goodness. Thank you. We've uh found our way to the end of this thing and uh we're just so grateful. Thank you so much for for listening and being with us and and and talking back to us. We really do appreciate it.

And obviously it's not just us, there is a incredible team of people that puts this show together and so many great games were written by so many great people. Uh and so thank you to the bell house, thank you to the team. Ugh Thank you so much for everything. And um

I guess I'll see you soon, Jonathan. Yeah. Happy trails. Happy trails. Till next time. Ask me another. is Jonathan Colton. Hey my name Anna Graham's to Voujol to Can. was written by Karen Lurry. Urinal Reek. By Leaky Elk. Eric Feinstein. Find her nicety. Milla Franklin. Calm Inc. Ring. Andrew Kane, Nerd Awakened, Carol Lee, Ircello, Greg Lightman, Meryl. Josiah Merigan. Jams aha Scott Ross Sword Costs Dan Schofield. Mary Tony. Later, my bra. Keep fan stream. Shave jar ant. by Kara Weinberger.

Our other comedy writers are Ashley Brooke Roberts. A Barry Horses Book. And Emily Winter. Merely win it. Two Cecil ball. John Chinesky? Oh. Ninjas. Narc Thug. Sparkle Gig. And our guest musician, Julian Villard. Naive. Ask Me Another is produced by Nancy Seychelles. Any case not show. James Barber. Raps beer. Gianna Cappadona. Can do a nap again. And our intern, Zach St. Clair. Lazars.

Our senior producer is Travis Larchuk. Sick Hurt Larva. Our senior supervising producer is Rachel Neal. Renal Leach. And our boss's boss is Anya Grundman. Ask me Nether was brought to life by Eric Newsom, Kurium Zen, and Jesse Baker. Thanks for our home in Brooklyn, The Bell House, Hot Heel Blues, and our production partner, WA. Why and then? I'm her right begonia. O'Fira Eisenberg. And this was Ask Me. Came one shark. From NPR.

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