"Why do I both want and not want friends?" ep.119

Ask Kati Anything ep. 119 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT 

Audience Questions:

1. Do you have any advice for someone who doesn't have friends or a relationship, but both wants and doesn't want any/it? I have social anxiety, so making friends tends to be hard to begin with, but I often feel bored and lonely and want...  

2. I'm curious about why we would imagine bad things happening to us. Often, I imagine I'm being hurt, not identical scenarios to past traumas but similar themes. I've been curious about this for a while and have noticed I tend to lean into it when my SH & ED aren't really helping enough, almost as a punishment...  

3. I recently listened to an episode where you described looking into the past too long as a form of self harm by impeding healing.  Is there ever a point where you can look back at a life forming event that was in some way traumatic without it impeding healing? If so, is it all about...  

4. Ever since I was a child I used to 'go' to a fantasy world I created in my mind when I'm not feeling safe. Well, I'm still doing this at 25 and I feel very ashamed because of it. My therapist asked whether I could tell her what happens there...  

5. My question pertains to inner child work and emotion regulation. I record my virtual therapy sessions to help myself remember and process what we work on each week (my therapist’s suggestion), but when I get stuck in a depressive spiral, I rewatch (and rewatch and rewatch) the portions of my sessions when...  

6. How can we stay in the 'healthy eating habits' path? I feel like I have too emotional attachments to food. I love different cuisines, I love desserts, love eating out and I love trying out new flavors, so I adore eating overall! I try to recognize patterns, for example when I reward myself with food after a long and hard day....  

7. Why do some people gravitate towards healthy coping mechanisms and some people don’t? I’ve been struggling and I just keep trading one bad coping skill for another. First several Ed’s then SH then drinking. Once I realize what I’m doing is bad I’ll stop but then a new one pops up...  

8. Happy Thursday! I think I may have experienced some religious trauma. My question is: How do I figure out what I believe in and what my own beliefs are and unlearn what I have been taught through church and my upbringing? I hope this makes sense.

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