[00:00:00] We accept blame, where we will take on too much responsibility, where we will take care of friends, relatives, neighbors, and make sure we fix their lives and make things nice for them. And if we don't, we feel guilty. And then we also replay all the things we've done in our lives that do make us feel guilty.
[00:00:19] And we never get to climb out of that quicksand of not enough. I didn't do enough. I wasn't good enough. And that doesn't feel good.
[00:00:28] Welcome to Asians breaking ceilings. I'm Jeanny Chai, founder of BambooMyth.Com and confidence coach for Asian American female professionals. The goal of this podcast is to ignite your confidence to empower you to overcome imposter syndrome. So you can finally break that career ceiling and get what you want in life.
[00:00:51] In episode nine, we start a three part series where we're looking at how so many of us. grew up feeling guilty, and this is now a habit that we bring with us into our corporate lives. And because of the guilt, we don't feel confident, we don't make the best decisions for our career, and oftentimes other people benefit from our work, but we're not the one getting the rewards.
[00:01:14] This week specifically, we're going to talk about how this habit began with us as young girls, and why it's so devastating for us when we carry on this habit into our mid- careers. If you want to know what your greatest roadblock to success is, be sure to take the quiz in the show notes. And if you'd like to connect with me on LinkedIn or Facebook or Instagram, you can find me at @jeannychai
[00:01:40] Most importantly, please tell your friends about this podcast so we can all support each other and learn more how to achieve authentic success without the stress. Now let's dive into our show.
[00:02:01] How old were you when you first learned of the concept of unconditional love and sadly realized that you didn't feel that you were unconditionally loved? I found out when I was probably 41 or 42, and it was because I had bought myself a dog. And this was during a time in my life when I was really depressed.
[00:02:33] It was. In the middle of a divorce, it was post cancer treatments.
[00:02:37] Her name was Mimi and she was three at the time. Her owners worked on the weekends, worked on the weekdays and were so busy. Uh, they had painted her toenails pink. She was adorable. And she had a little green dress with a red heart. And it was fun to have a companion and she was super emotional, right? Dogs emote.
[00:02:55] And I had never had a dog. So I was learning all this. Every day when I came home, I would come through the garage. And when I opened that door
[00:03:03] she'd be there wagging her tail really hard back and forth. She'd make all this noise. And she just loved me so much. And it didn't matter. What day of the week, what time I came home, how my work went. She was so happy to see me. And this is sad, but the realization was, wow, nobody else has ever treated me like that in my entire life.
[00:03:29] And it occurred to me, this is what unconditional acceptance and love looks like. And over the next few weeks, I began to think. I don't treat myself like this. I am very mean to myself. I would replay a lot of sad and embarrassing events in my life over and over. And imagine, I'm 50 now, so the older you get, the more events pile up, and so your whole day could just be spent watching replays of your life, the most shameful, embarrassing, guilt ridden episodes, and why do we do this?
[00:04:04] Right. And so if, if you're like this and you're 50 years old or you feel a ton of guilt at work, I hear this all the time, right? I felt so bad that I let my team down or I have to do this so that I, my team doesn't think I'm being lazy. Right. Or I don't want to disappoint my boss, actually. I know that at a very, uh, big fortune 500 company, we did a poll and asked people what they were most afraid of.
[00:04:28] And 40 percent said, disappointing their parents. These are people in their forties and fifties, and we're still worried about our mom and dad not being pleased with what we've done with our life. Notice how much of this emphasis is on doing. If we are valued by what we do, then of course there is insecurity and fear because I can make a mistake one day and suddenly my value plummets and someone's going to be mad at me.
[00:04:54] Right? And so we're constantly judging ourselves by our to do list. What did I do today? Or what didn't I get done today? And I played this game for 40, 40 years of my life. Every morning I'd wake up and go, no, I'm already behind.
[00:05:07] And I would already be in an anxious, angry state without even having left the bed. And then same thing at night, no matter how much I did that day, it felt like I was still behind. And there was never this concept of acceptance or being proud of yourself, right? Or just being kind. Like those were not habits I had.
[00:05:30] And if you feel like this, I want to take you on a journey today to help you understand how we got this way, because it is not normal. It might be normal for a lot of Asians, but it's certainly not healthy. It's certainly not fun. And I want all of us to have a chance to do a reset.
[00:05:46] I don't want to live with guilt and anxiety and depression and fear all the time, but that's almost every Asian female I know. And so if that's the case, guess what? It's not personality. It's not personality. It has a lot to do with our upbringing, our environments, and we're not here to blame anybody, but there's a lot of similarities in how we all grew up that have created This kind of a habit where we accept blame, where we will take on too much responsibility, where we will take care of friends, relatives, neighbors, and make sure we fix their lives and make things nice for them.
[00:06:18] And if we don't, we feel guilty. And then we also replay all the things we've done in our lives that do make us feel guilty. And it's like, we never get to climb out of that. quicksand of not enough. I didn't do enough. I wasn't good enough. And that doesn't feel good. And so until I met my dog Mimi, that was all I knew was rehashing blame, rehashing guilt, rehashing stuff that I did that I was embarrassed about, and then judging myself on a daily basis on what I did.
[00:06:53] But I never came out feeling good about myself. And what happens when you do this, even for a few years, it becomes a habit. And if you do this for A lifetime. That's your life, right? You feel guilty your entire life and who wants to live like that? And sometimes we feel like, well, if I just get the next promotion or when my kids graduate or something, when the baby grows up, I will feel better.
[00:07:17] But if it's already a habit that you constantly criticize yourself, feel guilty, accept the blame, take the blame for things that aren't your fault. It's going to be hard to change. And I started to realize I was always doing this, raising the bar. And really the sad thing was, I don't really remember a time in my life when I was consistently happy.
[00:07:39] I mean, there might be a dinner where we go eat out at a buffet and I'm such a foodie that it's, you know, exciting for maybe two hours, but that feeling would fade. And I'd go back to my, my ho hum mediocre feelings at best or depression and sadness at worst. And nobody wants to live like that. So I want to give you an understanding of how this happened, help you connect the dots so that we can start fixing this.
[00:08:08] If you've ever done, um, some research on child development stages, look up a man, his name is Eric Erickson, both with K's, Eric Erickson. And he, Created or wrote something called the eight developmental stages and if you look at when guilt is developed It's between the ages of three and five So remember what your environment was when you were a young girl young child between the ages of three and five I'm gonna share my story be authentic I came to America when I was four prior to being in America.
[00:08:40] I was in Taiwan in Taipei, Taiwan. And I live with my grandparents. I live with all my aunts and uncles because my mom was the firstborn. And it was fun. It was so much fun. Not a lot of discipline, I would say, but a ton of confidence and a lot of joy. We went to museums and the And we would go to the zoo.
[00:08:59] Someone would braid my hair every day. I had these shiny red patent leather shoes. I'd cute clothes and people liked me and they would talk to me and they would support and love me. The big drastic change when I moved to the United States was first of all, I was partly vegetarian. We didn't eat a lot of meat.
[00:09:15] in Taiwan. And so when we came here, my mother would cook, you know, meat, rice, vegetables. And for some reason I ate really slow when I wasn't used to the food my mom cooked. And so meals were always a battle where they would give me a small bowl of rice and food and meat. And I would just sit there chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing for hours.
[00:09:35] And instead of having a Laid back attitude. My parents were really scared. They thought I was gonna starve or not be healthy kids. I went to a lot of doctor's appointments and I started to feel like a burden because I spent probably seven hours a day sitting in a stupid chair at the dining table eating my food because my parents would not let me leave unless I ate everything in the bowl.
[00:09:59] And so I began to feel, I don't know, like I was a source of stress to my parents because she'd sigh a lot and at times they would punish me if I couldn't finish the food after an hour or so. They'd have me stand against the wall till my legs were sore. And I know now that That was not something I should have been punished for.
[00:10:19] There was no wrongdoing on my part. If a kid can't eat, they can't eat. They're not intentionally misbehaving. There's something going on with their, their adjusting, right? And so I was punished for stuff that shouldn't have been, uh, punishable. I understand my parents fear when you have a child that's not eating.
[00:10:37] Yes, it's devastating. But what I Got from the relationship was that I was being a bad girl. And one time I remember, I don't even know what the issue was, but my dad was so upset at me. He was going to spank me with a hanger and my mother and him didn't agree on a lot. She was trying to shield me and protect me from my dad.
[00:10:56] So my dad ended up spanking her or hitting her shoulder or something. And she screamed so loud. I am 50 years old. I still remember that day. Talk about a huge sense of guilt. I felt sorry that I was the bad girl and that my mother had taken the hit for me and When I think about guilt, a lot of these memories come from that stage when I was four to five and because Erickson's right, it develops at a very young age.
[00:11:22] A couple more stories I remember that made me feel like just a bad kid, a burden, you know, a stupid kid that always messed things up, made my mother sigh continually. And one of these was we, I grew up in Illinois and it was so cold. I used to live in an apartment and My mother didn't want me to stand outside with, um, with, uh, the snow and the wind.
[00:11:49] And so she told me, wait inside, wait inside the apartment. And when you see the bus come run out, well, one morning, my friend, Alex, who was my buddy, he was going to stay home sick from school. So nobody was at the bus stop. And so I just stood there waiting for the bus and the bus. At the right time, barreled by.
[00:12:07] It didn't even stop because it didn't see any kids, right? So it just went by and I didn't even try running out there. And I remember walking back to my apartment, out of the hallway, into my own apartment, knocked on the door and my mom had a fit. I remember her going on and on for maybe an hour. About how I'm causing so much trouble and why didn't you run out there?
[00:12:30] I told you to run out there. Why didn't you do it now? I have to drive you and I can't drive or some something about her not having a car. I don't know. All I know is she was so, so, so mad at me. And I remember to this day, I can see her and hear her yelling and it makes me still scared. And there was never an apology, right?
[00:12:48] There was never a, Oh, I'm sorry. I had a fit. And so what happens to children is this when you're four or five years old, if you have any kind of criticism or punishment or something that is just a dramatic. And it's not warranted. You don't know that you're too young. Your brain's not developed. You're not mature.
[00:13:09] And so in these cases, a child will always accept blame. A child will always think, oh, it's my fault. I did something wrong. A child is never going to say, wow, mom is having a PMS day. Mom is really mad and she should calm down. She should get some therapy. We don't get that maybe until we're 40, 45, 50, some of us still deny it.
[00:13:31] Some of us still think that we are wrong and our parents were always right. And if that's the case, you need to stay on this podcast because I have a lot of freedom for you. And so I felt terrible. And I didn't go to school that day. I missed school. It was not fun. The entire day I felt miserable, like I was burdening my mother.
[00:13:52] Missing one day of school is not a big deal, folks. But to my mother, it was like the end of the world and she wouldn't stop ranting on and on about how I didn't listen to her. And I didn't even try explaining, you know, the bus didn't stop. I didn't even try explaining. I knew speaking to my mother wasn't going to ever solve anything.
[00:14:09] She wouldn't believe me. And so at a young age, I started taking on this guilt, feeling like whatever happened was always my fault. I remember not ever being taught about how to use money and what money is for at the school and there's this beautiful shop set up where there's all kinds of little figurines and books.
[00:14:28] And pretty things for girls and cars and toys. And I didn't know what that was. I thought you could take whatever you wanted. And so I picked out this beautiful jewelry box. I can still see it with this and you could open it up. And there was this beautiful red velvet lining for rings and earrings. And I love pretty things like that.
[00:14:49] So I took the box. I think it was something like 18 or 12, which is quite a bit. It was in the seventies and then I took this little figurine. It was a rabbit. She was grayish blue, about four inches tall. And she was holding this beautiful apple and I love cutesy things like that. So I took those things and I don't even remember what happened, how I made it to the checkout line.
[00:15:13] I didn't know English very well. And so this lady looked at me, maybe she asked for money. I shook my head and she gave me a piece of paper and I understood she wanted me to take it to my family. So I went home that day and I gave my parents this piece of paper and I showed them the two items and they were mad.
[00:15:33] It was my mom again. She yelled and screamed and yelled and screamed. She didn't say, I'm sorry, we didn't teach you anything about money. I didn't know, right? So again, I feel like a terribly mean child stealing from the store. And... She gave me cash and said, go give this to your teacher. I don't think there was a note attached to it or anything.
[00:15:54] I don't know if I brought the receipt back. I don't know what happened. Bad communication. So next day I go back to the fair and again, my English is not good. And so I just find anybody, anybody at the shop and I tried to shove money at somebody. So I still remember this today. I can still feel my face sweating.
[00:16:11] Even right now, as I'm telling this to you, it was so humiliating and I tried to give them money and I didn't know what to say. And I was so scared because they wouldn't take the money. And I knew if I went home with the money, I was going to get in big trouble. And I kept shoving money at them and trying to say, take it, take it.
[00:16:27] And she wouldn't take it. And I probably felt sick all day at school. I was too young to lie at that age. So I went home, gave my money back to my mom and again, got yelled at for another hour. And so the, these things seem kind of small one time events, but if you. experience that kind of shame and misunderstanding where nobody really cared to ask you what happened.
[00:16:52] And when they just blame you and blame you, you can bet you're going to have some severe guilt issues when you grow up. And what kills me is I've talked to thousands of Asian American girls. This is how many of us get treated, right? There's just this sense of, you know, Oh yeah, what are you doing wrong?
[00:17:09] And I would just even eat a banana in the morning and get yelled at. You know, I would not wear slippers and get yelled at. So constantly. There's all this fear, all this, Oh my gosh, Jeannie's being a pain in the butt. And I didn't realize the connection, but there is a huge connection about this kind of environment to when you're 40 or 45 or 30 years old and you're in corporate America and you're scared to death when someone calls your name.
[00:17:30] Jeannie, can I see you in the office? How many of you automatically panic and go, Oh no, what did I do wrong? Cause that's been your experience ever since you were little. I don't believe my parents at that age, three to five, no one ever said, good job. I'm proud of you. Or, Jeannie, come here, I want to share something with you.
[00:17:47] If your name was called, it was because you were in trouble, right? So, no wonder many of us still feel this kind of PTSD in corporate America 30 years later. And that's something that needs to change, right? Because a lot of us are so smart. You've done so well for yourself. We look successful. We're making more money than our family did.
[00:18:04] And we ought to feel proud. But instead, each of us lives in anxiety and stress, anticipation of getting yelled at. We're acting like we're still five. And that breaks my heart because I know how scary that is. And we need to start changing that, getting strategies to heal that so that we can act like we are the age that we are and have confidence and be decisive and know our value and not constantly be scared of disappointing people and feeling guilty.
[00:18:32] Before we start the second half of this episode, if you're of Asian descent and you want to discover what your personal biggest roadblock is to success, go ahead and take the free quiz@asiansbraggingceilings.com. If you're liking this podcast, be sure to leave a review for me@podchaser.com, and then follow me on Instagram @ jeannychai so you can be notified whenever a new episode drops.
[00:18:59] Now let's get back to our show.
[00:19:08]
[00:19:08] Freshman year of high school, I began doing speech competitions. I had no idea I was talented in this area. I had a wonderful teacher, Mr. John Hires, who I will always, always be grateful to wish I had a chance to say thank you to him. He saw some talent in me and said that my transitions were really good and suggested that I joined the speech team.
[00:19:34] Of course, I was scared to death in the beginning, but got, got into it. And, you know, it's hard to enjoy this and I kept winning things. And eventually when I was a senior in high school. I was predicted to win the state championship for the category called Oratory. Now, junior year, my parents had made me quit everything because I caught one B as a sophomore, one B as a sophomore.
[00:20:00] And so I didn't do choir. I didn't do speech. I did nothing that year except study. And so senior year, I had a chance to go back and Start my activities that meant so much to me. I was able to be in choir, but I didn't make the senior Elite choir group because I didn't sing for a year and I was so disappointed and I was behind in speech I used to get first place at every single meet and now I was placing fifth six not even placing I felt bad about myself Eventually though I rewrote my speech and I started to get on a winning streak And so for the state final which was in Carbondale, Illinois Uh, I was expected to win and I was pretty confident, but something spooked me at that final round where the time limit was supposed to be 10 minutes.
[00:20:43] And someone said it was eight and I knew there was no way my speech was eight. So I blanked out and I actually forgot part of my speech about halfway through. And I had a 10 second silence. It was horrible. My whole face turned red. And then I came back and I delivered the rest of the speech. And so when we were in the awards.
[00:21:03] Ceremony in the auditorium. I was so scared. I thought for sure I'm gonna get sixth place, but I placed fourth which means that if I had not done that I probably would have won Do you know how many times I played that scenario in my head? I played it over and over and over again probably for the next 30 years Do you do that?
[00:21:23] Do you have one thing in your life where you were so ashamed and felt so bad that you let everybody down? That you replayed it and it still plagues you like this old wound in your heart. I did that a lot. And so every year, every few months, I'd play this scenario and go, wow, Jeannie, you were supposed to win and you didn't, and I felt guilty.
[00:21:46] And I want to tell you, if you have a similar situation here where your teammates were depending on you and you didn't, for whatever reason, succeed, that is not something to be guilty of. That is not something that you need to hang on to for years and years and beat yourself over the head again and again.
[00:22:05] And we took second place. And I keep saying to myself, if I had just placed higher, we should have won.
[00:22:11] That was my fault. And it felt terrible. It felt really bad. We were all quiet in the bus ride on the way home. Everybody was silent and I felt it was my fault. Like I was responsible for the entire school being let down. And I still feel bad to this day if I, if I really let myself do that and let me ask you this, what is the benefit of that when you go back and replay these horrible incidences where you felt so bad that you let everyone down, what is the benefit?
[00:22:37] Who benefits from that? Nobody, right? It doesn't help you feel motivated. It just suppresses your happiness.
[00:22:43] And when you're overcompensating for the feeling of guilt, you will overdo it and probably sabotage your own relationship in any case. Anything that went wrong in the marriage, I would assume blame for.
[00:22:56] And when you do that over time, have you noticed when you do that, the other person kind of takes you for granted? Like, if you keep apologizing and saying, it's my fault, they're going to believe you. Even if in the beginning, there was more equal acceptance of responsibility for different things, if you keep doing that, people are going to think, yeah, you're wrong.
[00:23:15] And so after a while I felt taken for granted. I felt resentful. I felt like I was doing everything, but the relationship wasn't getting closer. It wasn't getting more intimate.
[00:23:25] So what does this have to do with your career? Well, I have heard so many times that when you are motivated by guilt and not by any kind of self love or unconditional self acceptance for yourself, we're gonna make choices that end up hurting you and maybe helping other people. So if you're in a job situation in which you're the go to person, but it's been a long while since you're actually following your job description, you feel unfulfilled, You don't feel like you're making impact.
[00:23:53] Maybe there's even some toxicity in politics and you've been thinking about getting a new job. Many of us have been in this position and we think about this for a week. Two months, a year goes by, two years goes by. We're still here. It's been three years because we feel guilty that if we leave that new hire that just is trying to onboard, I'm going to leave her behind.
[00:24:14] Or I was hired to do my job and I'm not a quitter. We've been taught right to not quit. And so we feel guilty that somehow we're doing something wrong by leaving a job that's not serving us. That's a dead end for our career. But we have learned these habits of guilt since age three and five that we can't talk ourselves out of that.
[00:24:35] How many of you have a situation in which you are in a sinking ship in your career and so many people have tried to fix this problem and now it's your job and you feel guilty not being able to do it. Many of us who are the hardest workers who are very competent in our job get stuck with the worst projects.
[00:24:53] And you're not even set up for success at the very start. And yet, because of our loyalty and our work ethic, we work harder and harder. And we feel the guilt as if it's our fault that we can't solve this. But what if the problem itself is not solvable and you're set up for failure? Who is going to benefit by you staying there two more months, three more months, even a year.
[00:25:15] And so guilt is a problem because we don't know when to quit. And if you do this two years here, five years there, you've wasted a decade of your life. And so there's no forward progress. And that's why you feel stuck because we've stayed too long in situations that are not productive, that are not successful for you, maybe for your company, but certainly not for you.
[00:25:41] And so that is why we're at this topic of guilt has so much to do with the trends that we talked about in episode one. If you go back and listen to episode one, think about how many of those reasons are because Asian American women have learned from habit to cultivate a huge sense of guilt. That's why we do the work of three people.
[00:26:01] That's why we often have a partner who doesn't work and we keep supporting them. And maybe we thought about leaving or pushing them to work harder, but we feel guilty leaving them. It is also the reason why we don't get promoted because when we don't, instead of having confidence and realizing we deserve it, we feel guilty that, Oh, maybe we didn't work hard enough. Maybe the assessment is right. And because of this, we have no self advocacy. And again, we're the ones getting hurt.
[00:26:26] I would guilt myself into doing much, much more for every employer I worked for, because this was my way of making sure I was enough compensating for that feeling of guilt
[00:26:39] we want to be useful. And so many of us. Feel guilty for not doing enough because we're seeking love. You know what the antidote is to this though? It's not doing more. It's not apologizing more. It's not rehashing those stories. But the truth is you need to start falling in love with yourself.
[00:27:04] You are allowed to wake up every morning and be happy about who you are, not what you're going to do or what you did yesterday, but just that you are, and that you matter, and that you have value just by being a human being, that you have creative and technical and organizational talents that are uniquely yours. You're like a special gem and there's no one else like you.
[00:27:31] And just being around you is a joy. If we had An environment that we knew we were loved and cared for and that we mattered just by being who we are. None of us would develop such huge guilt complexes. If you made a mistake and spilled milk and people just said to you, It's okay, everyone makes mistakes.
[00:27:54] I'll clean it up, honey. Let's go read a book. Cause you already have a lot of embarrassment and shame. If they did that for you, you would have learned self forgiveness. You would have learned it's no big deal and people make mistakes. But unfortunately, many of us got yelled at and said, You wasted an entire tank, gallon of milk.
[00:28:11] That's gonna cost us 2 and now we don't have money for groceries. Because many of us grew up in difficult financial circumstances. I want to tell you, you don't have to feel guilty for that anymore. If any of you felt like a bad daughter, because your parents have over and over again criticized you for your choices, or your personality, like you're too loud, or you're too quiet, or you're not social enough, or you're not...
[00:28:38] pretty like our friend's daughter, or you're not smart enough, or you're not good at math, or you're too slow. If you've been criticized for any of that garbage, it's not your fault. And today you get to stand up and take that guilt and throw it away in the ocean to never come back. Whatever your personality is, it's both a strength and possibly a weakness, but it's part of your beauty and no one, no one is allowed to take away your self worth and make you feel bad just because you like to talk or just because you're quiet or just because you're deliberate and you're careful or if you do things too fast, you are not too slow.
[00:29:19] You are not stupid. You are not the embarrassment of your family. If you like creativity and art, you're not worthless. You're not less valuable than an engineer or a doctor. Just because people could not see your worth and your value, does not mean you don't have value. And what you need to do is start exploring what is in that beautiful treasure chest that is you.
[00:29:48] All your quirks, all your humor. humor, all your personality traits, the skills, the abilities you have, so many things that you haven't even discovered about you are waiting for you. And that is the definition of success. Not, not making mistakes, not trying to please everybody. That's not success. Success is learning what is in that treasure chest.
[00:30:11] who you are and then being brave enough and strong enough to just be you. So you don't have to hide. You don't have to pretend to be something you're not so that you can please somebody else. That's not success.
[00:30:24] You're freed! I'm telling you the truth. The truth is you are responsible really for no one except yourself. I don't mean be a selfish person and ignore your kids if you have family. You have permission to take care of you first, to guard your happiness, your joy, your mental health.
[00:30:43] And I let it go and then take a deep breath and I'd like you to do this instead. I want you to write 50 reasons why you are an amazing human. You've been so full of guilt and we play these stories over and over again, but if I ask you to give me 50 examples of why you're an amazing human being, do you even know where to start?
[00:31:04] Right? Many of us do not even have that habit because we haven't been told good job a lot. We haven't been told I love you just because you're my daughter. I'm so proud of you for being so kind and obedient and loving. So proud of you for sending me cards and calling me and caring for me. Even when I've been rude to you, we don't get those thank yous.
[00:31:23] And so I want you to thank yourself 50 reasons why you are an amazing human. Start turning that guilt into gratitude. for yourself. Okay. Gratitude for yourself is self love. Self love is not just cucumbers and yoga and doing your nails. It is being thankful for who you are. Isn't that a crazy concept? If you were thankful for who you are, your confidence will start to build day by day.
[00:31:51] Every day, ask yourself at the end of the day, am I guilting myself or am I having gratitude for myself? If you do the second, you're gonna start to see a change in your confidence level and how you show up in the world. And most importantly, you're gonna start to be happy. And that is my gift to you because I didn't learn happiness until age 40 and oh, is it so worth it.
[00:32:12] It is, it is the way to live, my dear.
[00:32:31] You've come to the end of episode nine. And as I said, this is part one of a three part series on guilt.
[00:32:36] So be sure to tune in next week when we talk about. Why guilt is the reason behind us not being able to say no and not being able to have boundaries. I'm going to tell you hilarious stories from my childhood. Problems I got into because I was so afraid to say no. I didn't practice having ownership of my own decisions, and I said yes to everything, every situation, and everybody. And you can imagine the kind of difficulties I got into. In my workplace, as a result,
[00:33:12] If you've enjoyed this episode, please give me a positive rating on Spotify or Apple, wherever you listen to your podcasts. More importantly, please share this with your friends, your colleagues that you care about so we can all support each other and learn to experience authentic success without the stress.
[00:33:32] See you next week.