[00:00:00] Everything else can go out the window. You're, you're eating like chicken nuggets and boiled eggs for dinner, but you do not ever turn in anything other than a hundred percent at work. You could be having menstrual cramps. You could have just had a baby two weeks ago, but you're still putting in your time for work.
[00:00:17] But many of us have been brainwashed right in a way that this is what we do. Welcome to Asians Breaking Ceilings. I'm Jeanny Chai, founder of BambooMyth. com and confidence coach for Asian American female professionals. The goal of this podcast is to ignite your confidence. To empower you to overcome imposter syndrome so you can finally break that career ceiling and get what you want in life.
[00:00:45] In episode 7, we are really starting to crack down on the habits that we have that steal our confidence. Many of us have heard over and over again that we need to stop the inner critic. But how do we actually do that when it's been a 30 year, 40 year habit that we criticize ourselves? Today's secret is stop shooting yourself.
[00:01:06] Yes, pun intended. When you learn how to finally stop shooting yourself, you will begin to start having agency and lead your life the way you want it. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast and sign up for my email list at AsiansBreakingCeilings. com and help spread the word by leaving me a written review at PodChaser. com. Now let's jump into today's show so that we can help you achieve authentic.
[00:01:40] There was a time in my life when it was unpleasant, but I would shoot myself all the time. You know what I'm talking about? Wake up in the morning, it's 7:30 and you're already saying to yourself, Oh, I should have done this last night. I forgot to do this, or I should get up. I should have taken care of this yesterday or, Oh no, that should have been handled weeks ago.
[00:02:02] And you're already feeling pressure. You're already feeling tense. And the same thing happens at the end of the day. Where you're saying, I should have got to that sooner. I should have known better. I should have seen that coming. I should have gone to bed half an hour ago. I'm going to be exhausted now.
[00:02:25] And you wonder, how did I get this way? Because shooting ourselves does not feel good. Yes, pun intended. It feels terrible. Imagine if you had a person, a roommate living with you that shooted you all the time. Oh, shouldn't you do that first? Shouldn't you get that done? You should do this now, you would feel slightly irritated at best and really annoyed at worst.
[00:02:48] And yet we do this to ourselves, most of us do this to ourselves all day, all night. And we wonder why we feel exhausted and anxious. And unhappy in our lives. We weren't born this way. I can guarantee it.
[00:03:03] As I said, I've had four children. None of them should have their selves. Every child wakes up in the morning normally, unless they're sick and they are happy, they are drooling. They have no teeth, but they're happy. Even if they're sitting in poop, they are happy. They're not affected by circumstances. They just wake up full of life because a big part of that is babies. Don't should themselves. They don't carry. This sense of guilt, they don't carry with them this sense of, I should do things that are good for me versus what I want.
[00:03:35] And so the conversation today is why we need to stop shoulding ourselves, because there's a big connection between this and your career success. You might be going, what is she talking about? Aren't we going to discuss how to manage up, how to lean in, how to have conversations, do presentations, negotiate salary.
[00:03:51] Yes, we're going to get to all that, but we're not going to get to it until season two or season three of this podcast. And here is why if you are of Asian descent. You do not have a communication problem. Many of us know how to speak pretty well. You do not have a competence problem. Again, if you just google some research, most of us have more education than the average American, a great percentage of us has had academics be a big part of our lives. I understand there, we're not all the same Asian and there are some demographics that there's a lot more struggle, right? But for a lot, big majority of us, we have the competence. And so the issue is not communication. It's not competence. It's confidence. And all of season one is about how do I get my confidence up?
[00:04:36] And this is what these discussions are about because without confidence, everything else is so difficult. I can tell you what to say to your boss. I can tell you how to improve communications, but without having permission, without having practice this, without having had our Asian norms reframed, it's going to be so hard to be able to actually execute on this.
[00:04:58] And that's why we're spending so much time talking about where did our habits come from? Where did our norms come from? It's not personality, it's norms. Norms are things that we were taught to believe that we think is the right way to do things. It has to do with relationships. It has to do with how you feel about yourself, the way you view yourself, how you show up. And if these aren't corrected for a Western corporate environment, We're going to continue to use our Eastern, right? Our Asian norms and not understand why it's so difficult. So again, I want to iterate if you ever come in this podcast and you're listening to me and you feel criticized or condemned, that is absolutely not my intention whatsoever.
[00:05:39] Cause I say, if you feel. Like a lot of these things resonate with you, you know, having a hard time speaking up, or you should yourself or achievement is an addiction for you. Like I spoke about a couple of weeks ago. Uh, if you tend to stuff your feelings and emotionally you're able to handle a lot because you don't feel again, that could be a strength or a weakness.
[00:05:59] I'm not saying it's either way, but again, that's an Asian norm and it's not your fault. It's not that you did something wrong and you've ended up in this, in this place. And I want to reiterate that again, because it's so key, you know, a child just comes into a world and whenever their parents teach them, whatever the school teaches them, whatever their environment is, the kid soaks that up.
[00:06:20] And so if you have an Asian background, what you've soaked up a lot of times is being quiet, following directions. Are doing everything your elder parent or teacher or even your sibling tells you to do not complaining, not asking questions, trying to be independent, stay out of trouble. A lot of these norms don't serve us once we get into mid career corporate America, right?
[00:06:43] These are not things that make us feel confident. They're not things that have taught us how to make good decisions. And so where I see women struggle over and over again, whether you're Asian background or other women of color is we don't have advocacy and we don't trust ourselves to make good decisions.
[00:07:02] And of course, the last one is we underestimate our own value and our own ability to do things. And so imposter syndrome and stress are the two things that oftentimes are the roadblocks to our success.
[00:07:17] And in order to address this, it's not a communication problem, so I'm not giving you scripts yet. I will do that in future episodes, but right now we're talking about a very important concept.
[00:07:27] And for the next three episodes, we're going to be discussing how to stop criticizing yourself. And shooting yourself is one of those forms of self criticism. As I just said, many of us wake up in our normal everyday lives and we're shooting ourselves all day. Oh, I should have done the laundry. I forgot this.
[00:07:43] I forgot that. That is a borderline nervous, motivated by guilt, right? Motivated by fear kind of a mindset. And it doesn't feel good. It certainly does not build your confidence. Right. And what you say to yourself, how you manage your day, how you think about yourself is either improving your confidence every day, or it's shooting down your confidence.
[00:08:07] So that what you say on a daily basis, especially subconsciously, what you're doing, what you're saying to yourself is so important. And many of us do not have a roadmap or an understanding, a clear understanding of what we're doing subconsciously.
[00:08:22] And so people say, well, therapy should help, right? Yes, therapy is great. If you don't know that you're anxious or you don't know that you have depression or you don't realize that you procrastinate. Therapy is very helpful in helping you connect the dots and helping you realize, yes, and get a diagnosis. Yes, you are depressed. If you already know that you're anxious, if you know that you struggle with depression, if you know that you procrastinate, then this podcast is going to help you move forward and do something about it.
[00:08:50] I went to 20 years of therapy, seven therapists, none of them were Asian, and they didn't get the level of shame and self criticism and procrastination and self sabotage that I had. And so while I felt good talking with somebody week after week, I didn't see a whole lot of change because a lot of times therapy isn't meant to help you move forward to help you practice new habits, but you do feel a little bit better having someone understand you.
[00:09:14] So this podcast is meant to accelerate all of that and get to the, how do I manage my career better? Because as we said in episode one, uh, Asian American females are the least likely to be promoted. And that's not going to be one conversation you have with your boss. It's going to be a transformation in you that starts with stopping and realizing how unfair that is realizing how much you're working and how little respect and results you're getting and coming out of denial, which we talked about last week so that you can start having ownership, taking ownership of your life
[00:09:49] and by ownership I do not mean more responsibility. I mean, the ability to start to say yes, I want this in my life. No, I don't want this and calling the shots versus letting other people, your boss, the company, uh, random events, letting those things Just come at you and you accept everything by default, right?
[00:10:08] Living by default is not taking ownership. And if you just let things happen to you in life, a lot of the things you're not going to like, because that's what's happening. A lot of women who are Asian American are not getting promoted. That's the default. And so in order to see change. We need to start having agency.
[00:10:25] And so one of the ways that I teach my clients and I've taught over three, 400 women now is you've got to start realizing when are you subtly criticizing yourself by shooting yourself all the time. It doesn't matter if it's in your job or at home in your relationships as a mother, uh, anything, if you are shooting yourself, you are taking away your confidence little by little whittling it away.
[00:10:47] Remember when you were a young girl in your teens, or as even younger than that, what kind of family environment did you grow up in? I remember a lot of shoulds and a lot of no's, because the should and the no's come together, right? I wanted so much to be a singer, and in third grade, one of my music teachers knew that I loved to sing, and I found out many years later.
[00:11:16] My teacher had given my parents a letter that invited me to join a special community choir in which she was the conductor and they asked me if I wanted to be part of this group. And my parents never told me until I was an adult and said, by the way, uh, the teacher said that you could have been in this group.
[00:11:36] I never got a choice. And so in my parents mind, you know, Jeannie should study instead. Jeannie should not be involved in anything that will take away from her school. And that killed me because singing is one of the most important things to me now. And I try to sing every day. I've been in three different bands, five different bands, and that is my life and I make time for that because it refuels my soul.
[00:11:59] So in third grade, I got shoulded. As I got older, my parents would have conversations with me. I was a bit of a stereotypical Asian girl with a part down the middle. It's cool now, right, in 2023, but it wasn't cool to have a part down the middle when it was the 1980s. And I had really... Big front teeth, you can tell that I'm being self deprecating.
[00:12:20] My mother said something about my eyes when I was little, like, yeah, you know, you always look sleepy. And so I had all this self consciousness about how I looked and I didn't speak English very well when I came to the States. And so I got bullied or I felt stupid or out of place most of the time. And there just weren't.
[00:12:39] Any Asians around except one other little girl who joined my school in 5th grade, but up until 5th grade, that's age 10, 11. I didn't see anybody who looked like me. So I felt inferior. I just felt different. I felt like I stuck out. And I tried really hard to change that. And I tried to fix this by doing popular things.
[00:13:00] So when I was in sixth grade, I actually tried out for cheerleading in sixth grade, seventh grade. I tried out for volleyball in sixth grade, seventh grade. I tried out for cross country and guess what? I made all those teams. I know it was shocker. I was even in the cheerleading yearbook picture because we took pictures like two, three days after we made the team and I didn't tell my mom and I got my uniform.
[00:13:24] And then she found out you call it a pom pom girl, whatever that is. And she goes, No, you can't do this. You should be studying. And so I had to heartbreakingly tell my teachers I could not be on the team. And whether it was good or bad, it affected my confidence that I don't. Have the right to make decisions for myself.
[00:13:44] I was also told to quit the volleyball team. I was also told to quit the cross country team because it was really important that I should be studying even in seventh grade, eighth grade. You know, I got into a special math class based on some test I took, and I was being driven to a community college, uh, I think one night a week to take Algebra 1 and 2, and it was way beyond my, it was way over my head, and I had all this time in my regular math class in school to sit and do nothing, so I Honestly, it wouldn't have affected my grades or my school, but somehow in my parents mind, that's not something you should be doing.
[00:14:22] And so I got shoulded out of volleyball, shoulded out of cheerleading and shoulded out of cross country. And I was very disappointed because I love to run. I wanted to be active. I'm an active extrovert type of person.
[00:14:33] What I was able to do though, was, uh, they did let me participate in track and field. Yay. Cause that was only two weeks. And 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, I got to practice and be involved in the track team. And that was phenomenally fun. I loved that. Um, when I got to high school though, again, now it's a, it's a, it's a semester long afterschool program. And what I was told was you should be paying attention to school. It's even more important that you get straight A's and blah, blah, blah. And so I got shoulded again into not participating.
[00:15:08] One of the most painful, painful things was. When I got my only B in high school, well, until senior year semester two, which I just completely burnt out and didn't do anything, but up until that point, I got one B and that was an honors sophomore English and I got shoulded, they saw the grade and they didn't ask me anything.
[00:15:29] And what they said was, you should not be in choir next year. And again, they took away the singing every case in which there was punishment for not living up to standards.
[00:15:43] And if you resonate with this, you probably got shoulded as well and continue to do so as an adult. Cause I sure heck don't live with my mom and dad anymore. I've moved out since 1995. That's a lot of years. That's over 35 years, but I still used to should myself if I'm not careful and it's never a nice kind of a should. Right? It's always a critical, self critical, unkind trade off. And the trade off is usually I force myself to do something I think other people want me to do, or that's the right thing, the responsible thing, right?
[00:16:21] And it's usually taking away something fun. It's, it's a way to really empty out all the fun in your life and what you really want. And every time you do this, what you're actually training your brain to do, guess what? It's called self abandonment. You're saying you wanted to go to the beach. You wanted to take an hour to play Uno with your kids.
[00:16:44] You shouldn't do those things. There's more important things like laundry. There's more important things like cleaning the house. There's more important things like picking up all the toys. Or, you know, buying groceries and preparing so you don't have to do last minute cooking or spend money eating out.
[00:16:59] There's all these shoulds. And maybe that helps you to be really practical. And maybe that makes you feel responsible, but you know what? You have zero fun. And what we call this kind of mentality really is a scarcity mentality. It's saying, I don't have enough time to do everything that I want. Actually, I have no time to do anything that I want, but I have a lot of time to should myself.
[00:17:24] I need shoulds. And generally those shoulds are not things that we really want. Right, we do this at work. Oh, I should finish this for my boss before I go. I should go to that meeting so that I don't disappoint anyone or miss anything. Ah, even though I want to go home so badly, I should get this done for my team so they're not waiting on me.
[00:17:49] Even though I'm on vacation, I should check my email because I don't want there to be any mistakes on my behalf. Right. We're constantly shooting ourselves and shooting doesn't result in joy. It doesn't result in us performing better necessarily because most of us who should ourselves are already really good at what we do.
[00:18:13] Right. People like you. People think you're wonderful and you probably get very good reviews. But in our own minds internally. We don't feel good. We don't feel like we're doing great. We don't feel rewarded. I certainly didn't feel rewarded by quitting Volleyball and cross country and cheerleading. I felt terrible.
[00:18:36] I felt Like I wasn't really living my life, but I was focusing on the one thing other people said I should do, which was 100 percent school and how many of us, once you graduate from college, turn that attitude into work. So now I know so many women I coach and work with who everything else can go out the window.
[00:18:58] You're eating like chicken nuggets and boiled eggs for dinner, but you do not ever turn in anything other than 100 percent at work. You could be having menstrual cramps. You could have just had a baby two weeks ago, but you're still putting in your time for work. I knew this lady who I was talking, having a conversation with, and she'd just been diagnosed with breast cancer.
[00:19:20] And do you know what her concern was? Her concern was that she was going to have to let her team at work down because she was sick. And ladies, I just got to say, that is so not the priority that really matters because in the end, Nobody at the end of their lives, when we're evaluating and looking at what legacy we left and what impact we had on earth, I'm sure I can guarantee no one is saying, wow, I wish that I didn't get sick so that that 36 months at work, I could have been there for my team.
[00:19:53] Before we start the second half of this episode, if you're of Asian descent and you want to discover what your personal biggest roadblock is to success, go ahead and take the free quiz at asiansbreakingceilings.com. If you're liking this podcast, be sure to leave a review for me at Podchaser.com, and then follow me on Instagram at jeannychai so you can be notified whenever a new episode drops.
[00:20:20] Now let's get back to our show.
[00:20:28] Here's why this step is so important and so critical before we can even manage our relationships with other people. We're talking about here in season one, about the relationship we have with ourselves. If we have a constant criticizer, that shoulding us all day and all night, we need to deal with her and that voice before we can effectively deal with a real life person who might be our elder.
[00:20:53] And if we can't. Stop patterns in ourselves that are negative. It's going to be hard to speak up when others treat us with negative patterns. Make sense? So this is why shoulding yourself needs to be the first area that you look at and start to correct.
[00:21:14] Many of us with Asian heritage have the responsibility of taking care of our parents. It's almost like the role is reversed and they are the children and we do all kinds of things for them. Manage their finances, manage their emotional health, manage their social activities, manage their friendships. And so much of this breaks my heart because in so many of these cases, The parent that we are supporting a lot of times isn't even kind to us and it increases our stress level through the roof.
[00:21:44] And I'm not here to tell you what to do, but I do want to ask you, is this a should for you? I should do this or is it a want to, and the more that you're able to let yourself admit and start to live in a way that you allow yourself the wants. in your life and to let go of some of the shoulds, the more happier you're going to be, the more confident you'll become, the more agency you'll have in your life.
[00:22:15] Because if your life is full of shoulds, there is no room for any of the wants. And if you think about it, the wants are more fun, right? The wants are exciting. It's they're passionate. They, they, they are in alignment with your values. The things I want to do, like seeing when I sing, I am in flow. I am enjoying, I am not guilty about anything.
[00:22:38] I don't feel any kind of apology. I don't feel any sort of stress. I feel like I'm alive. And if we constantly make choices based on shoulds, It's almost like we're not living right? The whole concept of surviving but not thriving I'm sure comes from shoulding ourselves all the time. I wanna add that many of us have difficult adult relationships with our family.
[00:23:08] You've heard some of my story, and to be quite honest, I am not on a communication level with my mother right now. I will text my dad and we are still in somewhat contact, but, uh, this was not a decision I made lightly and you might have all kinds of opinions, but. For me in the end, uh, just so difficult, so difficult to speak to them and to see their own self sabotage.
[00:23:36] And what really allowed me to let go was realizing I don't want to speak to my mother. Every time I speak to her, I feel terrible afterwards. I feel depressed. I feel blamed. I feel all kinds of awful. And if that's the case. With people in your lives. I know there's this Asian obligation, Asian loyalty, Asian sacrifice.
[00:23:58] I say to hell with that. I've had, I had cancer when I was 39. If I have stress in my life, the cancer is going to come back. So at this point, it's a choice between me. Living my life in a way that I'm present and here for my four children who are ages 15 to 25 or I can should myself into talking to my mom, trying to have some kind of relationship and in the end, um, probably getting sick because the relationship is so difficult and so at some level you got to protect you, you get to protect you.
[00:24:35] I don't care if it's a, a family member, I don't care if you made some vow or someone made a vow or that there's no one else in their lives that can love them. It is still not your responsibility to hurt yourself when you love and you have relationships in which there is danger to yourself and there is stress and there is no improvement.
[00:24:58] That's the deal. No improvement after 5, 10, 20 years in that relationship. We call that toxic. Toxic. Right. And so we need to be able to not should ourselves into keeping these toxic relationships.
[00:25:12] Let me give you an example of how I used to should myself at work and how it made me really ineffective at dealing with a situation that came up in which I felt humiliated and didn't have the respect of my boss and felt criticized.
[00:25:34] Many of us will accept fault for things at work, and that might be a good trait because we are highly responsible and we almost never complain. We don't backstab others, but we take on a lot of responsibility. So we do our own work, our boss's work, our co workers work. We take one for the team often. And...
[00:25:57] How do we start changing this behavior so that we don't accept blame for things that weren't our fault? Because if we keep accepting blame for things that weren't even our responsibility, and we assume it's our fault, we're going to get into a lot of sticky situations, right? That's. Handling extra stress that shouldn't even be there because we're taking on more than is necessary.
[00:26:27] I call that unnecessary stress when we accept the blame for things that are not even our fault. Here's an example of what happened to me about 10 years ago. I was your typical Asian employee who was very dutiful and did everything for my boss, did extra for her, and one day she took me into a room individually.
[00:26:47] And I thought, Oh, we're in trouble. And she told me that one of the interns that we were working with should not have access to all this information because he had not signed an NDA. And why didn't I have him sign an NDA? This was somebody who'd been working with us for over a month and he was very good at what he was doing.
[00:27:08] And my face just turned red. I felt really embarrassed and I accepted all the blame. And I said, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. That he didn't sign an NDA and that that was my responsibility. And I just slunk out of that room feeling terrible. Like I'd failed my boss. She was obviously not just disappointed.
[00:27:27] She was angry because we had, I don't know, compromised our company's data. And then the same boss talked to a coworker of mine who was this brave, confident woman. And when she came out, I saw my boss's face and I was so surprised because the boss was apologetic and I heard my coworker saying, yeah, you should do that immediately.
[00:27:57] And so I had a conversation with her. We went to the snack room and I asked her what happened because I came out feeling terrible and you look like you gained her respect. And she looked at me and said, "Well, It's not our responsibility to make sure that the intern signs an NDA. That's her damn job and she's not doing her damn job and blaming us. What are, what am I going to do taking the blame? And so I just told her, yeah, I didn't know you didn't sign an NDA. Oh my goodness. You're putting our company in danger. You need to do that with the intern right away."
[00:28:28] And I was flabbergasted. And that was one of the times I realized, wow, I automatically believe everything my boss tells me, I automatically believe everything my parents tell me. I automatically believe a lot of things that people should me with. And I never question it. That's the way I've always been.
[00:28:51] I was very easy to teach as a child because teachers never got any kind of Oppositional comments from me. And for the first time I realized this is not going to help me in corporate America. There was a similar situation with the same boss in which I was one of the most badass Performers on the team and I was helping to open a lot of new business In a new area in this company and I got something like 40 meetings for this company, 40 new companies had spoken to us and wanted to continue to work with us.
[00:29:26] And when it came time to actually making deals, I think some number dropped off, like she lost 10 people. And so when it came time to my bonus, I thought, absolutely, I hit the number. And she told me, well, you know, 10 of the groups didn't end up committing. And I thought something was fishy.
[00:29:44] But again, being that. very loyal, uh, woman that I was. I said to myself, Yeah, I should have made sure. I'm sorry. I should have made sure that everybody was on board and that they made this commitment. So I did not get my like 20 K bonus and I was really angry. But I went home just sulking and feeling sorry for myself. I didn't Advocate for me because here's the connection I've been shooting myself just on my own perfectly fine morning, day and night that when someone else should admit and said, Well, you should have made sure that they made the commitment and I believed her.
[00:30:23] Do you see why it's so insidious now when we should ourselves and why this has a huge negative effect with your relationships with other people? Many of us I've spoken to, Asian females, when we don't get promoted, we automatically assume A couple of things.
[00:30:42] I didn't work hard enough. I had a gap. I wasn't right for the role. It wasn't my timing yet. We fully accept the blame and we get shoulded by our companies. Now, if we behave more like my colleague who knew how to advocate for herself, I might've said, Hey, I disagree with the evaluation and I absolutely need to be put up for promotion. I would like to have a re evaluation.
[00:31:08] We don't do this very often because we automatically accept the blame. We automatically accept that there was something wrong with us because we've been speaking to ourselves like this forever, right? It's a critical spirit. It's from a. A place of scarcity that says, I'm not enough, or I'm not doing enough, or I'm not good enough.
[00:31:30] And when we are daily, nightly saying these things to ourselves, our brain thinks this is normal. And so when someone else that we respect or that we need validation from in order to do well in our job, when someone that there says something to us, we automatically accept it as truth. Oh, you should have done this, Jeannie.
[00:31:53] You should have done that. We don't fight back. So the first thing that we need to start doing to see change is in that relationship with ourselves. If you are shooting yourself at home, start noticing.
[00:32:09] And here is a affirmation for you that's going to help you to realize you are enough and you have freedom to have fun. You have freedom to use your time, your energy in the ways that you want, not the ways you should, or someone else says you should, but the way that you want. You are allowed to be fulfilled and have impact in your life. You are allowed to wake up feeling some level of excitement and joy. You are allowed to wake up feeling like you are amazing at your job and they are lucky to have you.
[00:32:46] You have permission when someone speaks to you to evaluate it to see if those words are actually true. And there's a good chance that you might have to defend yourself. Or think clearly because guess what? You as an adult know yourself the best. And so do not give your power away. Do not give your truth away.
[00:33:10] Do not give your value away and do not give. Your agency away just because someone else says you should have done something and instead of shooting yourself You get to ask what do I really want the part of me that is loving and kind and spunky with confidence What does she want and oftentimes she'll say I don't want this dress I would like to do this instead.
[00:33:36] If you can do that, that is the beginning of self compassion, of self understanding, of self love. Self love isn't just spas and cucumbers on the eyes. Self love is hearing yourself. Protecting you and learning to do the things that you want in life, not the things that you think you should.
[00:33:59] Next week we're going to talk about a very similar topic, which is over apologizing. Once you start realizing how often you say, sorry, You're going to notice other people saying, sorry, all the time. This especially happens in women in corporate America, where they'll just start a sentence like, sorry, I have a question.
[00:34:17] Oh, sorry. I'm going to be five minutes late or sorry. I can't help you do that task or I'm sorry. Could you repeat that? None of those, none of those are good examples of why you should be apologizing. We're going to talk about why this is devastating for your reputation, for your own self confidence and your ability to be a good leader.
[00:34:36] So don't miss next week. And if you have enjoyed this episode, the greatest thing you can do for me is share with your company, share with people, you know, your colleagues. Of friends, they don't have to be Asian, but share with them so that we can start addressing the stuff that really is gonna move the needle, the stuff that brings our confidence to a place where we can be normal.
[00:35:00] Where we can be confident, where we can be enjoying leadership and living our potential .Ceiling breakers, it's been so great to have you join me on this episode. Let's move forward next week and learn more how we can build our confidence so that we can experience authentic success without the stress.