[00:00:00] You don't have to feel compelled and almost forced to always be the one fixing other people's problems, offering advice. Giving suggestions and trying to make things right. You don't have to say yes when you mean no. You don't have to keep doing things that you don't want to do, or do more than your fair share of the work, or doing things that other adults are capable of doing for themselves.
[00:00:28] You are allowed to receive love and kindness from other people, and you don't always have to be the one giving because we know that over time we feel lonely and sad like there's nobody for us, and we're always the one giving to others.
[00:00:48] Welcome to Asians Breaking Ceilings. I'm Janie Chai, founder of BambooMyth. com and confidence coach for Asian American professionals. The goal of this podcast is to ignite your confidence, to empower you to overcome imposter syndrome so that you can finally break that career cycle. What you want in life in episode 10, we're completing part two of a series on guilt and the negative consequences we experience in our personal lives and in our careers because of being motivated by guilt today, specifically, we're focusing on what happens.
[00:01:24] When we feel guilty saying no to all kinds of opportunities and people and projects. This is not something that gives you work life balance. It's not something that makes you feel successful. It actually takes away our energy, makes us feel alone, and feels like no one is out there to support us. And so if you enjoy this episode, please do give me a positive review.
[00:01:50] And be sure to follow me on LinkedIn and Instagram so you can be notified when a new episode drops. Now let's begin our show so that we can teach you how to experience authentic success without the stress.
[00:02:08] Do you have a hard time saying no to assignments at work, last minute requests, when someone pings you or sends an email, do you feel the need to reply right away or else you feel bad making them wait? Do you have a hard time shutting off your work and your mind when it's quitting time six o'clock? And if there's still work, it's really hard for you to just put an end to it and go home.
[00:02:36] I've struggled with all those things. And to be honest, if we're quite honest, this problem didn't start once we got into corporate America, right? It started when we were young children. And today I want to take you on a journey into looking at how our feelings of guilt for saying no, Developed and how to go about creating more permission for ourselves to do what we really want to do things that are healthy for us to do things that give us more work life balance.
[00:03:05] And more freedom and peace so that our minds can be put at rest instead of needing to constantly be on for everybody else, right? Our children, our spouses, our coworkers, our friends. It's exhausting that way, isn't it? And again, this starts at a very young age. So I'm going to share a few stories today from my childhood as a way for you to remember and evaluate how did this feeling of guilt, For saying no, start in your life.
[00:03:35] Unfortunately, I have some bad news for you. Guilt is not something that... Is considered normal and healthy. It usually is a result of us having been treated with some kind of neglect, uh, been bullied, some kind of abuse when we were little criticism. And now as a result, we have practiced this feeling of guilt so much that it carries into.
[00:04:00] Our everyday lives, including work. And those of you who understand what I'm talking about, it's exhausting, isn't it? It doesn't feel good. How many days of the week do you feel proud, free and happy? Very little, right? Cause that guilt feeling follows you. The minute you wake up, it's there. The minute you sleep, uh, want to go to bed, it creates worry.
[00:04:22] I even have three recurring nightmares as a young child and as an adult. And the one I want to share today was about me opening the front door. And being really scared to open the front door of my house back in Danner's Grove, I can still see it, Brick House, not knowing who was going to be there, but just feeling guilty that I had to be the one to open the door and by default accept whatever was out there and it felt helpless.
[00:04:50] It felt uncomfortable, even panicky, but for some reason it was my job, my responsibility to open that door and handle whatever came through. And that is not how any of us wants to live. There's a concept of living by default versus living with intention. And I teach a course on how to take ownership of your life.
[00:05:11] And I say, when we live by default, so many things fly at us, emergencies, requests, last minute favors that we never get a chance. To have time to do the things that we want, that we need, like eat lunch, eat breakfast, go to the bathroom, take care of ourselves, exercise. Those are fundamental must dos that we don't even do, let alone fun things like, you know, take a spa day or get our nails done.
[00:05:37] or sit in the tub just for an hour, you know, take a walk, go gardening. Those are never things that we get to because we are stuck in doing things for other people because we feel guilty. If this is you, this podcast is going to show you how to start putting an end to this endless stress so that you can start living.
[00:06:00] Again, I didn't learn this until after cancer and it was the scariest thing that happened to me. It was also the most exciting transformational thing that happened to me because I knew I didn't want to live with guilt and anxiety, always rushing to the next thing. I had people in my past go, why are you walking so fast?
[00:06:20] You're always walking so fast because I felt like it didn't have time. How many of you understand what I mean when we feel like I don't have time to do anything? The truth is you don't have a time problem. You probably have a guilt problem. And that's why we're going to the core foundation of why. This has happened so that you can start fixing it.
[00:06:41] The answer to not having enough time is not just put it in your schedule and you'll get it done. Because if you feel guilty and if there's something in your mind that doesn't give you permission to relax and enjoy and take care of yourself, you're just going to skip the activity that you have on your schedule.
[00:06:56] I know because I've, I've been through that many times. So what we actually need to do is fix the guilt issue. So journey with me back to your childhood and think about why we had a guilt complex. I can think of a couple of things. One is just being, feeling like a bother to my family a lot. I mentioned in my last episode, part one of the three guilty goats gruff, that I was a slow eater and this caused my parents a lot of stress and concern.
[00:07:25] And, uh, a lot of my time was spent sitting in a chair and I felt like a total burden to them. Also, anytime I made a mistake like spill milk or miss the bus, the amount of criticism was so great to me. And you can say, you know, Oh, she was, I, maybe I was sensitive. It's not true. If you're being criticized, you're, you're allowed to trust your gut and say that that was painful.
[00:07:47] I was criticized quite a bit. And there was other criticism in my home that I was always afraid of getting yelled at. Maybe that contributed to it as well. And so what happened was I had this inability to say no, I started realizing at a young age that instead of. Doing things because I wanted to I usually had choices made for me because of my own guilt for instance I didn't look at people at school, you know, third grade first grade and say I want to be your friend I didn't feel good enough to feel like I had choice So whoever noticed me and came to me I would be their friend and this continued all the way through high school and college and a lot of times unfortunately the people who um Became my friends, maybe weren't my first choice, but I didn't have the agency to go and do things.
[00:08:39] Because I was taking ownership of my life and owning my own choices. One of the earliest memories I have of having a really hard time saying no, and this is no offense to people who are religious or Mormon, I myself was a Christian at this time, but my parents did not speak English well. And so one of the favors I did for them was every time someone rang the doorbell, they would send me out to open the door.
[00:09:02] And now I think about this. In 2023 and go, that's pretty crazy. Who sends their kid out to open the door, but that's what I did. And I had salespeople come by. I had vacuum cleaner people come by one time. It was these two Mormon college students. And I did not know how to say I'm already a different, I already belonged to a different church and being, seeing how friendly they were.
[00:09:25] Now they came in and they saw my piano and they go, Oh, you play piano. And I did not want to be there. But I didn't have the capability, maybe, or the permission to just say, I need to go, I need to leave. And this whole time, the weird thing is, my parents were in the basement. In the split level downstairs, they were watching TV and never once did they come over and go, do you need help?
[00:09:50] What's going on? These people stayed over for half an hour in our house and then after that episode, they said they were going to come back the next day because I was nodding my head saying yes to everything they said. They actually thought I was interested in becoming a Mormon and this is not again any, any slam against religions, but just, just for myself, like I, how could I not?
[00:10:10] Say the words. I need to go or I have homework. I just didn't have the vocabulary and so they came back again a few days later and I was so afraid of saying no that instead of doing something like that. I said to my best friend Will you please call me at 430 because they're gonna be here and I need you to say there is an emergency So that I can tell them there's an emergency and I need to leave so that day happened And I think I accepted becoming a Mormon and they gave me a Bible and everything.
[00:10:45] And I still didn't know how to tell them to go home. And this one elder actually began playing the piano. So again, my parents are downstairs probably watching TV. Nobody is coming to say, Hey, my, uh, whatever 12 year old daughter needs to go now. It's just crazy thinking about that. So there's some neglect in my family side or some kind of miss disconnect there where I was on my own.
[00:11:07] And so my friend did call. It was those days when we had the phones on the wall. And I said, Oh no, really? Okay. And then I said, Hey, my friend just called and I have an emergency. I need to go help her. And that is how they left because I didn't know how to say it's time for me to go now. Uh, this got me into a lot of trouble in the dating arena because as you can imagine, not being able to say no made me get into all kinds of difficulties.
[00:11:42] I was already dating someone. I was already dating someone. I had a long distance relationship when I was in college, but if some guy wanted to ask me out again, I think it was, I had a real serious problem here. I did not know how to say no. And so I would still go to dinners with people and. I tried to avoid people.
[00:12:02] If I saw them coming towards me in campus, I'd turn and run because it didn't have the words to say, I don't want to date you or I don't want to go with you. Many of you know who've been following my podcast, that one of the things I love most is to sing. I was so fortunate that as a sophomore in college, I got into this elite chorale group and I participated for about a quarter and I wish I had the skills.
[00:12:27] To deal with what happened there, there was, um, there was undergrads there and then there were really old graduate students and one guy in particular kept giving me unwanted attention. The chorale would have picnics together and he'd be saying weird stuff like, are you wearing a swimsuit under there?
[00:12:45] And he kept inviting me out to lunch and dinner and I told him I. Didn't want to and he was persistent. He'd always be standing behind me and just looking at me And I didn't know how to tell him no and I didn't know how to get help and now I guess that could be considered Sexual harassment, but do you know what I did?
[00:13:04] Having all this shame and guilt that somehow I was doing something wrong that I felt it was my fault remember I took blame for everything and so I felt I was doing something wrong and I took the blame for it. And so this is something I've not shared with anybody before, not a friend, nobody, but it's time to get this out in the open so that I can help shed light on these situations.
[00:13:33] And I'm sure there's many of you out there who will resonate, and this is not our fault. I ended up. Not going to choir, I went to one semester and then one quarter, and then I did not return at all. In January, I was too scared to talk to anybody because remember, I have a hard time saying no. So I was afraid to tell my choir director why I wasn't showing up.
[00:13:53] I was afraid I'd get blamed for things. I was afraid the guy would get in trouble because I would feel guilty if he got reprimanded or had to leave the group. And so I just didn't show up. And my friends were like, where did you go? And I didn't tell anybody. Isn't that crazy? And that's the one thing I regret most from college.
[00:14:13] Cause I loved that group. It was challenging. It was fun. And. I enjoy singing. And so here I am repeating the things that I had experienced in high school because we are people of habit and even if things happen to us that are painful and difficult and it wasn't voluntary, we will continue to put ourselves in those situations because they are familiar and that's the danger, my dear ceiling breakers, of carrying guilt with you because you make bad decisions that hurt yourself I didn't want to quit choir.
[00:14:48] I want that guy to leave me alone, but I had no idea what to do and feeling the guilt and shame. That it was my fault. The only option I had was to leave. And so I knew I had a problem that this inability to say no was, was starting to create unnecessary stress for me. It really came to a head though, when I took this attitude into corporate America and one of my jobs, I had a boss who highly believed in me.
[00:15:17] He was a bit. Authoritative and would make decisions without our without our consent sometimes and he booked me a trip to go to New York City lived in California at the time on a specific day and he just said, Hey, I just booked this for you. You're going to go. It's going to be amazing. You'll get us new partnerships and I looked at the dates and they were dates that I already had talked to my ex husband about watching the kids because he was going to be out of town.
[00:15:42] I had another issue was at a really hard time asking for help. So coupled with that, I did not know how to tell my boss that I could not go to that trip. I was so scared. Maybe in my past, there was. Times I tried to say no to other people and I got reprimanded for that. Maybe I just never had choices in my life I wasn't the kind of kid that was given a lot of ability to make decisions as a matter of fact My mom still picked out my clothes for me my pants my shirt and my shoes.
[00:16:18] Well, I went pair of shoes Even when I was in sixth grade and seventh grade and I didn't know that that was not Normal or healthy. She just made every choice for me. She chose my activities She chose what I did and I just didn't have any agency in my life So coupled with my fear of saying no I was afraid to tell my boss that I could not take that business trip And I think he booked it three weeks in advance.
[00:16:46] I stressed out every day every night couldn't sleep I was so scared to tell anybody because I felt like such a failure. There was a sense of shame that went along with this guilt, right? Because, you know, some cultures are shame based cultures. Uh, Chinese culture, a lot of Asian culture is shame based, right?
[00:17:04] When you were little, if you did something wrong, they'd say shame on you or in Chinese, du lian, right? And so you, you got this feeling that every time you made a mistake, it wasn't just the mistake that was wrong. It's you, the person is embarrassing. You, the person is doing. It is the cause of the shame and it's a very painful way to identify with your mistakes, which completely unnecessary, unhelpful.
[00:17:27] I know now as an adult in that environment, I couldn't even tell my coworkers. I was afraid to tell my friends. I just feel like a bad worker. I just feel like a bad person for not being able to go to New York City and bring in awesome partners for my, for my boss, because he's all that mattered in this company is all that mattered.
[00:17:45] I didn't have any compassion for myself. I didn't realize that it's okay to say no and that everything was going to be fine. I was really scared of being laid off or ruining my reputation or something. I don't know what it was. It's a feeling. And so if you read leadership books, you'll, you'll notice that the feelings that we have, the fear, the guilt, the embarrassment, any kind of negative emotion usually wins over any kind of logic.
[00:18:18] So perhaps logically in my head, I knew that this was okay to do. My feelings. We're very pronounced and told me, no, you, you, you can't do this. You're going to get in big trouble. So I waited until the very last day before I was supposed to fly. And I texted or called my coworker who was also going on this flight.
[00:18:38] I said, I can't go. I have kids at home. I can't get them childcare. And he was kind and said, Hey, Jeannie family first. And so I did not get on that flight and then the next day I got into the office and they took me to the back. It wasn't even my boss, it was two of my colleagues and they told me, you know, there's this difficulty between you and our boss and we don't think it's resolvable and um, you're going to be let go today.
[00:19:08] I was totally shocked. I didn't know how to process that as a young 30 some year old. And then finally my boss came. And he said, I just have some final words for you. And he says, I am very, very, very, very disappointed in you, especially since you threw your coworker under the bus. And here I was really confused.
[00:19:30] I was really confused because I don't think I threw anybody under the bus. If you know me, I never throw anybody under the bus. I am always the one to accept fault and responsibility. And so I lost my job. This was, uh, probably one of the reasons that I had so much stress because it was 3 4 months later that I was diagnosed with breast cancer, stage 2.
[00:19:54] So, ladies, if you're listening to this, I don't mean to be morbid, but we really need to address shame and guilt and how difficult it makes our lives. Because if we don't, it could lead to some really drastic consequences. Right? Loss of job for me, uh, even stage 2 breast cancer, right from all the stress, the anxiety, and the nightmares.
[00:20:18] I had nightmares probably every third day, every week when I didn't know how to deal with this amount of stress and guilt.
[00:20:24] If you've been following my podcast and you're interested in taking some action now, and you've been looking for a coach to transform your life, to break through that ceiling, go ahead and take the free quiz in the show notes. That's going to show you your biggest roadblock to success. It's just 12 questions and you can do it in three minutes.
[00:20:47] The results are confidential. And then if you'd like to schedule a one on one complimentary strategy session with me, Be sure to go to my website, BambooMyth. com and you can find a place where you can sign up and apply for working with me so that we can take your career and your life and finally turn it into something where you experience authentic success without the stress.
[00:21:12] Now let's get back to our program.
[00:21:21] If you are a parent or you plan to be a parent someday, your inability to say no from guilt is going to create a lot of extra stress for you when you have children, because children will test you. They're going to do a lot of things that require you to say no. Like I was okay. If they've ran into the street, I would scream, no, come back that I could do, thankfully.
[00:21:44] But if it was anything like, I want to stay up later, mommy, can I please read an extra book? Instead of saying, dear, this is the last one. It's time for you to go to sleep. Now, I couldn't get those words out. And I knew this about both me and my ex husband, because at one point we babysat a family with five kids and their bedtime was eight.
[00:22:10] And they were so cute and charming and wonderfully, uh, social that they kept giving us reasons and excuses why they need to stay up. And we didn't get them down till 10 o'clock because their parents were pulling in the driveway and we told them, pretend you're asleep, please. And they did, and they giggled and went to bed.
[00:22:29] So what is this? If you have children and you are trying to work full time and you have a guilt complex. Of course, you're going to have a really hard time being a full time professional and being a mom because your kids are going to ask for things. They're going to want special meals. They're going to want to stay up late.
[00:22:54] They're going to choose what they want to do. And some of this is okay. But when they are one or two years old, it is not the time for them to be choosing everything in their lives. Right. As they get older, they can learn that. But in the beginning, they need to learn obedience. And if you're not able to say no, You're teaching them indulgence, you're teaching them that they're in charge, and the worst part is you're going to have a ton of stress.
[00:23:19] I know, because I live like that. And so my daughter didn't sleep until she was six months. I made all kinds of reasons, excuses for her, because at one point, at four months, she was sleeping through the night. And then at six months, something happened where we moved to a new apartment and I thought, oh, she's waking up because the room is different and she's scared.
[00:23:41] So I started to get her at two, three in the morning and then it became a habit. And then I didn't know how to tell her no. And I didn't want her to scream. I finally got enough courage to have a talk with the neighbor. I was sure they were mad at me. I was sure they were about to talk to the manager and evict us.
[00:24:00] But the reality is she said, no, no, no, you do what you need to do as a mother. We have been through that before you, we don't care. You need to do what you need to do. So they were not worried, but I had already let myself worry myself sick the past month. Lose sleep, cause myself distress, feel like a bad mother, feel like a bad neighbor, you know, disintegrated the relationship I had with my husband.
[00:24:24] Nothing good came of that and still I was scared to let her cry because I thought she would go on for hours. So what I finally had to do was we went to Illinois, my hometown, for a vacation and in my in my parents home there were three or four bedrooms. Multiple level house and so I let her cry finally to sleep train her again.
[00:24:44] She was six months. I was exhausted and that was one of the worst nights ever was I felt so much guilt for letting her cry and telling her mommy needs you to go to bed. I don't know if it was the right or wrong decision. Eventually, she did stop and after spending a week there, you know, she could sleep through the night again.
[00:25:03] Which obviously is healthy for her and healthy for everyone involved. But the amount of brain cells that I used and the amount of stress and my own tears was just completely unnecessary and no fun. What does this have to do with your career? Well, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything.
[00:25:21] And so if this is how I'm behaving in my personal relationships, you can bet this is how I'm acting in my corporate relationships. And so everything that I did was from a sense of guilt. I don't want to disappoint you. I want to make sure that you're happy. I want to make sure that no one is upset at me.
[00:25:39] I want to make sure that no one's feelings are hurt. And there's this concept of keeping the harmony, right? And somehow saying no to people felt really bad. Do you ever wonder why we have this habit of doing the work of three people? Why all of us feel so busy. You don't have a time problem. Okay. You don't have a schedule management problem.
[00:26:00] You have a guilt problem because you don't know how to prioritize yourself. You feel guilty for prioritizing yourself. It's not that you don't know when you're accepting something that's too much. You have that, that gut feeling that goes, Oh, this is going to be painful. We all have that, but then we quickly ignore it.
[00:26:20] And we let what I call the defer takeover. The defer is motivated by guilt. The defer is motivated by making sure other people. Needs and wants are met before my own. The defer is the one that tells you, Hey, you can skip breakfast and lunch because your boss needs this right now. And the whole team is depending on you.
[00:26:38] The defer is the one that says, Ooh, I already have such a difficult schedule, but I see that my coworker is struggling and she has no idea what she's doing. So I'm going to help her with her project too. The defer is the one that takes all this on. There was a moment of, Ooh, are you sure? And then we ignore that.
[00:26:54] Right? We ignore the director, the strong, confident woman that actually knows how to set boundaries. We ignore that. You know why? Culturally, we're taught to do this, right? We are taught, if you have an Asian background, keep the harmony. Don't embarrass anybody, right? Save face. Make sure everyone feels happy.
[00:27:14] Don't call anybody out. When, when there's a mistake, we kind of hide it and we don't, we don't embarrass anybody. And this kind of living causes each of us to take on too much responsibility. I know a lot of young children who from the time they're reading middle school, they're helping their parents do a lot of adult activities, like helping with taxes, reading insurance stuff.
[00:27:38] And we're used to taking on too much responsibility and doing stuff that really shouldn't be our responsibility. Now, I understand that there's a lot of hardships when you're an immigrant and you can't speak the language, but the solution really is not to involve your kids. I'm a hundred percent certain because I've worked with so many of those daughters who've now grown up as adults and they cannot say no.
[00:28:00] And that's the exact reason because they have been put through so much responsibility. They think this is normal. And so what they do is they keep this level of stress, this level of intense pressure doing more than three people really can handle. And I know this because when they leave a company, they often tell me, guess what?
[00:28:19] My company had to hire three people to replace me. And I go, well, there's gotta be, there's gotta be change. We can't allow this to happen. If every Asian person does the work of three people, we're either getting underpaid or we are over contributing. And. Neither of that results in us getting the promotion or the title or the financial reward.
[00:28:41] So why are we doing it? Because what's really causing is a lot of stress. It's causing burnout. It's causing physical damage to our immune systems. We're all getting illnesses and sicknesses because of the stress by age 40. A lot of us again have cancer. We have Hashimoto's. We have eczema. We have early onset arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart issues.
[00:29:03] Many of us are afraid we're going to end up being like our mothers because she has bad health issues, right? And we're going the same path and we can see this but it's almost like the habitual Generational habits that have made us work so hard it takes something great to stop that cycle and that thing I'm talking about is starting to have compassion for yourself going Hey If I had a co worker who was doing the work of three people and she was only getting paid for one and she was putting her family on the back burner and she didn't have time to exercise or even eat lunch.
[00:29:37] Would I think that's okay? Would I think that that is a successful way to run her life? And the answer of course is hell no, right? And if we have that kind of clarity and we have that kind of compassion for a coworker, let us start turning that compassion to ourselves and realize, wow, I am doing this to myself.
[00:29:58] And I know many of us, again, come from backgrounds where this is what we were taught. And on one level, it is very giving. It's very kind, but at what cost, if it's costing you work life balance, if it's costing you unhealthiness, emotionally, physically, if it's costing you because you're burned out, it's too much. And we need to reset our meters.
[00:30:22] I have an affirmation for you that is going to help you not just in your personal relationships, but also in the kind of work relationships that you generally find yourself in and attracted to, the high stress, difficult people that seems to be the environment you find yourself in.
[00:30:40] I'm going to set you free because you don't have to think and feel responsible for other people anymore. If these are adults, they have their own feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well being, and ultimate destiny, and that is their journey. You don't have to feel extreme anxiety or pity or guilt when other people have a problem or there's a problem at work that wasn't your fault.
[00:31:11] You don't have to feel compelled and almost forced to always be the one. Fixing other people's problems, offering advice, giving suggestions and trying to make things right. You don't have to feel upset when you're trying to help and they don't want to take it. You don't have to feel bad when you're trying to explain the truth to somebody and they won't accept it.
[00:31:38] You don't have to say yes when you mean no. You don't have to keep doing things that you don't want to do, or do more than your fair share of the work, or doing things that other adults are capable of doing for themselves. You don't have to try to please others. First, instead of pleasing yourself,
[00:32:02] you don't have to always be the protector and watching out for other people. But when it comes to yourself, you haven't practiced the habit of protecting yourself and making things fair for you. You don't have to feel safest only when you're giving. You are allowed to receive, you are allowed to receive love and kindness from other people, and you don't always have to be the one giving.
[00:32:29] Because we know that over time, we feel lonely and sad like there's nobody for us. And we're always the one giving to others. And then we keep finding ourselves attracted to situations and people that need a lot of our time and attention and we can't say no. And so the cycle continues. And so you are allowed to be honest with yourself and say, Hey, I don't need to feel bored or empty or worthless if I don't have a crisis in my life.
[00:33:01] Or a problem to solve or somebody to help. I'm allowed to have fun. I'm allowed to have hobbies. And I don't have to abandon my routine or my daily habits just for somebody else. I'm allowed to start saying no when I mean no. I'm allowed to meet my needs first. Without interrupting my daily life to meet yours.
[00:33:30] And I don't always have to consistently give more than the other person. It's not my job to fix other people's feelings. It's not my job to think for other people, even if it's my own parents. It's not my job for suffering for other people's consequences. It's not my job to solve their problems. I'm only hired to do what my job description states.
[00:34:00] And I'm allowed to finally ask for what I want, need, and desire without feeling guilt, without apologizing, and without feeling selfish because that's what humans were meant to do.
[00:34:18] And I'm going to let myself be freed of all this guilt because I want a chance to start living fairly. And it's unfair that I have done so much for other people, and I will not let others meet my needs.
[00:34:36] You've come to the end of episode 10, Three Guilty Goats Gruff Part 2. And next week we're going to start talking about the last piece of how guilt really affects us, and that is in our decision making.
[00:34:49] Many times we have to decide whether we're going to stay at a company or leave, or stay with a partner or leave. or make a decision for our kids or not. And when you're motivated by guilt, that decision always comes back and bites you in the butt. I've seen this happen for myself and others. And so we're going to teach you a better strategy for how to start making decisions based on passion, based on excitement, based on success for yourself without the guilt and without the apology.
[00:35:18] So be sure to join us next week for episode 11, three guilty goats gruff, Part 3.
[00:35:27] If you've enjoyed this episode, please do give me a positive star rating on wherever you listen, Spotify, iTunes, Google podcasts, and more importantly, please share this podcast and this episode with your colleagues, relatives, people that you love, so we can spread the word on how we can stop living with guilt, anxiety, apologetically, instead to live and find authentic success without the stress.
[00:35:54] I'll see you next week.