Downed By The Stomach Bug

Wake up, wake yo, wake up, wake up, wake up?

Oh something? Yeah, oh yeah, we'll about to be like this doesn't sound like Ashley. That's because there Ashley. By the way, good morning, so on how you doing.

I'm doing good. I'm doing a lot better than Ashley.

I know me too. I'm hearing that Ashley. You you hit me this morning? You were like when I seen your text, I was like, oh, oh, either either this is an audio clip that he wants me to get or they the something crazy going on. But the Queen Ashley today doing something she rarely does, and I know he probably took her forever to make this decision. Yeah, but she called out sick today. She did the only

I don't think those words would ever come out of when you're just stomachbug. Obviously things are happening. So but yeah, but the cretor is out today. Man, something's going on, stomach bug. Me and you were talking off about just you know, when you have young kids, and you know you've never had kids before, certain you know, certain sicknesses start running through the house, you know.

What I mean.

Uh, And this is just gonna be one of many because you start to daycare, when the kids start school, them kids is going to bring back all kinds of diseases and you just gotta you gotta fight through them.

We've been here with the stomach bug a couple times where it's demolish our house for like a weekend. It's been awful. But you know, stomachbug is good because it comes in, it goes, It doesn't last for a long time.

It's like a couple of days within your back. So you're stuck with us, Me and my god Santi. But uh, you know that the train keeps moving. We're still hooking you up with tickets at seven twenty and eight twenty to go check out Little Wayne h. Later on in the show, we'll have a chance at of granding your hand, and you know we'll talk about whatever y'all want to

Day and the Morning Show with DJ fourn It Saig Morning Busts.

Number one for hip hop jam in ninety four or five.

I am obviously starting to with Nayla at the age of three, be invited to, you know, birthday parties for kids and that type of thing. I didn't even know that this was a conversation. I had no idea that people were chatting about this online, that this was trending and this is a big thing. But I guess there's this new rule that on a kid's birthday that everybody at the party has to get a gift so that nobody feels bad.

Usually what happens is that you leave the party with like a party gift, like a like a little bad with a bunch of yes, fine, they do it.

I've seen that, right, like a little I've seen that I did it at my wedding. You know, at weddings they do that. They might give you like a little but it's the one kid's birthday. Like that kid's gonna get the gifts. I don't happen, but.

That kid's gonna get the best gift, probably like all the present. But then you leave like a little bag would like or something.

Yes, yeah, okay, so people do party favors.

It's a birthday party. Those kids who are gonna leave with the gifts come with the gifts, don't they. Yes, but then they're given gifts to leave away with. Yes, yes, yes, you're giving a party changing gifts pretty much, you give it a party favor. I'm spending all this money for the party.

Anyway.

Well, this, this whole conversation started because wait, no.

Wait for and you're not ready. No, you're not You're not ready for this.

So just to set the scene here, this woman went viral because she had her daughter's birthday at Build a Bear.

We all know what build a Bear is, right, it's a store in the mall. You go, you stuff the animal, you dress it, you pick it out. Whatever.

I will let her explain her thought process. But again, her daughter's birthday party at builde Bear.

The other moms are mad at me at school and said they won't be bringing their child to my child's birthday party next year. So this year, we had a birthday party at builde Bear for my daughter and everyone had a thirty five dollars limit on my dime, and everyone built their bears and it was really cute and fun, and I thought it was a really great idea. Some moms decided to spend extra on accessories out of their own pocket, which was completely their choice, and I thought

Like if it was my.

Birthday and we went to one of those like glazed under fire places, like some of my friends would probably give me what they made, Like if we go to a wine bar for my birthday party as an adult, like my friends like, buy me a glass of wine? Like I don't know, Like if you're a guy with your buddies at the bar, don people buy you around

What do you think, because I.

Think you're terrible, is what I just just as.

Okay, So they go to build a bear with these little kids, all right, the little kids make bears.

They think they are making the bears for them cause.

They're picking, Oh, I want that Hello Kitty bear, and I want to put her in that dress, and she's gonna hold that bag. Then they get back to the house for cake and ice cream, and the woman goes give me the bear.

Yeah no, what do you what do you mean?

Do you like she picked out all of her favorite things?

What do you mean?

Now?

Mind you, she probably thought that because she was putting up the thirty five per bear. That's exactly what it was, so it should have been discussed prior to Hey, if this is the way she want it now, mind you, I bet you have.

The people wouldn't have come.

I would not have gone.

It's weird, but you can't how am I supposed to explain to my little kid who just built a bear that that that's not their bear.

It's weird.

It's very weird. It's very selfish too, because I think this lady thinks that her kid is the center of the universe, and that's the way she's raised me.

On this day.

He is. Yeah, but it's also not above because all these young kids took the time to go to the party, do all these things things, go back to the house for ice.

Cream, let me play Devil's Agogate. But it's my party that I put together. I went and got the location, I went and spent the money for every So you're not you're just bringing your kid along. We're having a Kumbaya moment with my kids. I still don't get the part where I'm leaving the bed with you because we built it. I think I should just take it home,

I'm going to just say this, and people might think this is crazy.

If I'm having a birthday party for Layla at Build a Bear, I'm not going to invite a lot of people, maybe five, yes, and I'm they can pick out whatever bear they want, but not covering the costs because it's a party. And at Build a Bear, and that's what you do because there's kids and it suck you, So don't invite she invite.

Like nine people. Don't invite that many. Cut it down. Don't invite that many kids.

You can't have it at that location and then attack them to take their bears.

And what are you to do with that many bears?

That doesn't make sense. It was weird, like you could take them to any other situation painting something. The kids are gonna leave with whatever they created. Why as with you? That's weird.

Not even a party.

But I do a lot of play dates with my friend Courtney, who lives in my neighborhood in Marshfield.

She's she puts my mom into shame. She's so good about like I'm so thoughtful with the kids.

Every time we go over there, she's gone to like the dollar store and bought a bunch of stuff for them to do crafts and stuff. And I always in my head, I'm like, damn, never asks me for a dollar.

You know what I mean?

Like, because she bought the stuff and we're coming to her house and she's doing I need to get better.

I gotta buy some plate over or something.

But my point is is like, it's not like I'm going over there and she's saying, well, if you want to come, you have to give me money for these supplies. Like it's it's kind of like we just it's a thing that we do when she comes to my house, I offer the kids snacks.

I'm not asking her. Can you give me five for the fruit snacks?

Note now, if there's a parent that wants to leave the bear there, that's a nice thing, thank you. But you don't go there with the expectations.

You don't ask, you can't.

It's because you chose that location that I think makes this all weird.

Yeah.

Again, it would be like you have a party at Dave and Busters and then the food comes and all the kids start eating, and then you say, oh, you have to pay for that.

But wait, we're at a party. I'm under the assumption that.

Actually I went to a party like that about two weeks ago and the kid was turning ten. And what the parents did. They gave each of the kids, like say, like twenty bucks worth of tokens to go play. They didn't ask that money back. It was a part of the party, right.

And then beyond that.

And then after they took the tickets out there when they turned the niff for whatever that they didn't ask for, like the prize that they won and all that stuff back.

No, it was a weird part.

That's weird. And then and then probably was.

Like, dude, I spent like mad bread. That's a lot of money.

No it is. That was her choice. Why she thirty five per she had like nine or ten kids. That's you. It's the you can't have it at that spot and not.

Yes or you do, and you in the card are like, hey, guys, we'd love for you to come to our party at Build a Bear. You can feel free to make your own what you kind of have to put that. But that's still weird.

You got to say, son, like you know, let's all come and build bears for my son.

I'm going to put twenty dollars to.

Half those people ain't showing up. The mom crazy if you like, think about it. So she made a drive to build a bear, and then when the party was done, when that part was done, we attracted to the house that can way too much for transport. I'm leaving off to build a bear with my bear.

I wonder if anybody has a I went to a kid party and there was a weird like thing that happened where because I'm telling you, people spend so much money. Me being one for Layla's first birthday, I had a boozy brunch like I spent money, but I'm not ever going to ask anybody else for money, and I'm certainly going to send them home with a party.

For There's a new thing now too. Also to you have to invite the entire class. You can just invite two or three, you get invite everybody.

And I agree with that because I see videos of these kids where they're bawling, crying because they're the only kid in classes on anybody that's you can't do that, Chanelle, I mean, this is this is crazy. You're gonna invite everybody to a party at Build a Bear and then yank the bears from the little kid's grips.

What absolutely, And then you're gonna be like the worst mom of the year when they talk about you, ask ooh, how you stole the little kid's beers. Yes, that's their takeaway present, like you know, the little gift bags you give to go home.

The party favors. You know what.

I keep thinking of Chanelle too, when she said at the end, and now no one's come to the party next year, like you ruined it for your daughter.

And by the way, half.

The party at Build a Bear and maybe say listen, I can throw ten dollars towards each bear.

Whatever it is. I don't care.

But now this poor girl, everyone hates mom and they're not gonna come to the party next year.

But now I'm in that they already brought the gifts for the daughter.

True, I didn't even think about it. Oh my god, you're so right. We didn't even you know, they all showed up with a gift for the kid. You're so right. Wow, she was.

Just being selfish and wanted that money go back to her.

You gotta do her better.

When they come as a guest. You have to serve them too.

Yeah, thank you, that's so true. Wow, I can't even think about that.

No one's showing up empty handed to a party. They're all going to bring something, all right. Six one seven nine three one one nine four five six one seven nine three one one nine four five.

I'm just getting into this realm of my life. But what is going on with these kids parties?

Like?

What do I.

Rather lie the lose?

I run a live I rather?

I rather I rather lie the loose?

Hi, everybody, good morning. It's Ashley and the jam In Morning Show. It's so funny. I had no idea that there was such a conversation around kid's birthday parties. I just got a DM from a girl and she's like, ash I'm in a mom Facebook group and a very like a common question that I'm seeing in there is I'm having my kid's birthday party soon. Should I have food? She goes, Ashley, what who has a party invites people

Excuse me, what you have to have food at a part, like you have to have a party.

It is something, and I bend to them where they don't have anything, and it is talked about, that is for sure.

Obviously, you invite a bunch of little kids to build a bear, you ask them to build a bear, say here's thirty five bucks per bear. They build the bears, and then you say, give me them their mind. What Tina is in Brockton, Tina, this is this is a little weird.

Hi, listen, I would leave the bear because of course I gotta be in the presence for the little one yup, thinking that my kids bring their beer back, So I would.

Leave it there, pick up my present and come back home.

With no but that that's so true.

And thank you to the woman who called him. Was like Chanelle, She's like asked. They all bought present. That is so true. No parent came their empty handed. They all brought a gift. So of course you would think that they were gonna be able to keep the bear. You're right, fine, here's your bear. I'm taking my present. But again, all of this, all of this, hut's the little kid though, And that's why it's sad that mom did this.

It does that is very sad, very sad. I bought my daughter.

Know she's twenty eight, so I'm sure little I took her to build a bear, you know. Oh my gosh, she was crazy about that bear. She came home like she was great, showing off to everybody. Yeah, because it's not right.

It's not Gina, thank you for the call. Because they go to build a bear and they build a bear for themselves, so she's not They're not picking up Oh little miss Molly would like this on their bed. No, they're picking up what they like. Zena or Zia is in Cambridge.

Yep, it's Xina Xena.

The same thing for my granddaughter. I build a bear and she had about eight gaps.

Oh tell us everything. Okay, so how did you what was the layout?

So what they do a great job. So they have all kind of activities and they pick out what they want. My daughter let them.

Pick out whatever they wanted.

And then afterwards she also made a reservation at UNO's and had the parents and the kids. She had adult food and pizzas for the kids afterwards, and everybody bought a gift. But nowadays I noticed that people are saying don't bring gifts.

Excuse me?

Well, first of let's let's go back. Did she pay for everybody's building?

Bear?

Or did yees?

Yeah?

Tay for everything?

Okay?

And how many how many kids would you say, we're there?

Eight?

Wow?

So that even if we're saying, like, let's just say forty of bear probably that okay, that that's a lot of money. But again, like if you're having your party there, I would I would do the same thing your daughter did.

It was worth it.

We don't have to clean up, we don't have to do any of that.

You're really worth it.

Yeah, I didn't even think about that. That's actually a solid point.

So then and then you go and you go to UNO's and you guys eat there, and you obviously and you cover that bill because you invited people.

Yeah, adults got cocktails.

Yeah, that's the only reason I'm going to parties these days. But what is this narrative now they're saying, don't bring gifts for what?

Why?

Yeah?

I noticed my daughter, my granddaughter got invited to him. Outher told me she got invited to three parties this year and all of them said don't bring gifts.

Okay, fine, I'm not good I mean, yeah, okay, but that was probably.

Because they're footing the bill for everything. They probably like, we're gonna cover everything for y'all. There's no need for y'all to bring a gift. Just come enjoy without without kids.

I'm never you know, gt me too.

Hey hey, hey, you're never gonna hear those words come out of this mother's mouth bringing your gifts.

Thanks for the call, like we change.

Somebody got offended with some gift and then they just banned.

But it's probably that that little thing where it's like, oh, everybody feels like maybe the kids started complaining like oh, comes they get a gift and I don't.

Yeah, it's not like shut up.

My favorite thing is when and I do this all the time, if the if the party is for a kid that's like under a certain age, like they might not need another firetruck.

So I always text the mom and be like, what do you need?

And I love when people do that to me because then we're not like doubling gifts or we're getting maybe they need whatever.

You know, two hours max. That's the length of the party. Anything beyond that is hell because none of the parents want to be there.

Couldn't it.

Yeah, well it's a problem the party and if there's no I went to a party. I went to a party over the weekend. It was a ten thirty to twelve thirty perfect. Great, it was in the morning. I was I walked in at ten thirty. No one's drinking, like, not even a mimosa.

I mean not everybody has a problem.

So it wasn't an alcoholic Yeah, it was a birthday.

If you want an alcoholic child imosa.

Yeah, like come on, party sucks.

And the morning show with.

D J four and it saw Mont's number one for hip hop jam in ninety four or five.

Good Mornia, Happily Thursday, she got forming in here. My brother Santy holding it down for our queen. Actually, who's out sixty day with a stomach bug. Actually, we hope you get better sometime. I got some bad news for you though. Yes, this is gonna be very disappointing. Actually, uh, you're not You may not be able to enjoy Glizzy anymore.

Oh I heard about this.

Uh yeah, for all you Glizzy fans that go to Fenway and have yourselves Glizzies. The Fenway staff apparently is about to strike and stop doing any kind of concessions at Fenway for any kind of events, whether it's baseball or concerts. And you know what the reason is A while.

I guess they're getting paid, they're not going to be enough.

Yeah, I mean again, in this kind of economy, bro, I mean there's a lot of companies I feel like that might go through this because you know, inflation is real, bro, Like you go to the grocery store, everything is expensive. Life is expensive now. But yeah, these guys are saying, hey, listen, we we were not serving up no hot dogs, no beers, no nothing unless you pay us small.

Listen. I understand that inflation and all that, but at the same time, like for a team that's worth probably over a billion, they can afford to pay some people. And then you also take the consideration that they pay their players and then saying amount like saying you can play, you can give them a raise. I don't think they're asking for a crazy amount, but they're just asking for salvage.

I don't go to baseball games. What's the average ticket price for a baseball.

For a Red Sox team for a good seat or a bad seat?

A decency say the metal I would say about one hundred dollars and a good seat, a good good seat about plus one point fifty. Oh yeah, okay for a good say thank you. So they make it money.

Yeah, games are always pats and then the concessions are super expensive. I think Fenway is one of the most expensive. So for a beer you're probably paying like nine bucks at least.

I don't know. I don't know. I didn't see it in the article. Maybe you did, but I didn't see it. But I didn't see what they were getting paid now. But yeah, but the Fenway staff is saying that they want they want, especially the concession people. They want more money than not making enough money when you put it in that kind of context, Yeah, like while we being cheap with the people who actually are bringing you income.

Right now, I have to imagine that they're going to figure something out for the games, because you can't just now and not have any right. Yeah, so I got to think they're going to hire some people just for those two games or whatever, because it's a forty eight hour strike. So that's what they're saying now. It is it through a union like an union?

Yeah, okay, yeah, pay these people, man, please come on, man, stie needs his Glizzies pay them Sash and.

The jam In Morning Show with d J four and it's Sauty Morning.

Bustin's number one for hip hop jam in ninety four or five.

Hi, everybody, good morning.

I don't know if you're anything like me, but you've come across this trending thing called a trad wife and you're like, what the hell is tradwife? Actually wrote it down on a posty because I was like, what the hell is a trad wife? But I had seen so many people making the little comment about it. Well, I'm

Number one rule as a trad wife, This is your duty as a wife. A man's home is his castle, so he should be treated as a king. He's working a stressful job, maybe working long hours just so he can provide for you and the family, so he rightfully deserves peace. At being said, it's every wife's duty to appreciate her man and all his hard work.

Show him how much you truly appreciate him. Okay, he is your king and you are his queen. That is your duty. If that's the duty, being a trad wife sucks. It's very one sided.

I don't like it. It doesn't feel like a true partnership.

Like listen, I think there's something to it.

We all want a little peace at the house, but that's gotta go both ways.

Yeah, it sounds like the piece is just a one sided thing. Now, going back to the fifties, maybe this work then, I think society has completely changed and it's well bound.

Cause back then was you know, the wife is staying at home, takes care of the crib. You handle the crib. I bring the money to supply whatever we need to do, and I just come sit down, get my feet rugged, get fed, We chill. I'll go to bed, wake up the next morning and do the same thing. You take care of the household.

I do not mean to offend when I say this, because there are some women out here that that's the goal for them to be a stay at home mom, to be a stay at home.

Wife, to trad wife.

It up that if that brings you joy, and that brings you happiness, that's cool.

Me.

Nope, that's not bringing me joy. That's actually that's sucking the life about me.

I will say, Like in other culture, tradwife is still a thing Like Dominicans, I can tell you they're still going by traditionals and those men can do whatever they want there and the like the why is my complaint, But they're still like they they're they're just adherent to all the men. It doesn't sound fun.

Sounds spooky to me.

Uh. And again, I want I do want my husband to feel like the man of the house. There's no there's no like, I have no qualms about that. You are the man of the house for sure.

I wantn't you let them.

But I do think there needs to be a little bit of a partnership.

Here's her main thing is like my husband needs he's the king, he deserves peace, but I deserve peace too.

Okay.

Uh.

Mary is in Rhode Island, Mayor. It's tough. The trad wife thing. Oh it is god golf.

I just can't believe this is a trend happening right now in this moment.

Oh, it's big.

It's in this political climate that women are still right.

If you think that way, great and that's what you want to do. But I'm tired.

I work full time. I'm a mom.

I want my house to be a castle too, right.

Right, call me Cinderella because I definitely want to feel that as well.

Yeah, here's a trad husband is a tad.

I can't listen, I can't pick.

Yeah, not the same.

You know what's messed up? Though, this is very messed up.

If my husband was like I want to quit my job and be like a trad husband and stay at home dad, that my vagina would shrivel, which is messed up.

I don't want that either. I don't want that either, truly though.

No, I want you out in contributing to hear we could build the castle together.

Yes, let this be our kingdom. Mary, thanks for the call. Uh Staph is in Chelmsford, Hey staff, good morning.

Good morning.

Had you heard about the trad wife thing.

I've never heard of it anymore, because you know what, I don't hear about traditional men do tell go on, So it's like okay, And I feel like a lot of men are entitled now these days. They want women to duel the whole nine while they're doing the bare minimum. And I can understand if there's like these real hard working men and they're paying all the bills and you're staying home and you're taking care of the kids, But like, nowadays,

Well? Listen, stuff I do. They're out there and thank you for the call. I think a lot of women that listen to this show sometimes give off like broken and hurt and you guys have been through things, so have I. But they're out there and I just refuse to not say that there is another side to this where I do believe, like I married a great man and you can that too.

They're out there.

It might be hard to find, yeah, but there isn't a decide to this.

They're not all bad.

I also think like, if you have a bad experience with one dude, you should like change your pattern for the other one. I think some girls go back to the same consistency that they've always known, expecting a different and that makes.

Me sad because stuff's like guys won't be out here doing the whole nine when they're doing the bare minimum. I think eventually she's just twenty five. Eventually she'll find somebody that will meet here in the middle. But I do feel like a lot of the women sometimes and we have these topics, they call him.

They're hurt.

They hurt from a place right, Yep.

Melissa is in Pavty, Hey Bliss. Hello, are you a trad wife? No?

I am not. What do you do you feel about it?

Oh, you hadn't got this is crazy because this is a big thing, and I'm shocked that we haven't had somebody call in being like I'm a traded wife.

And I love it.

Yeah, I wasn't going to give my two cents, but I was listening as to as you put up that saying like the number one rule, I was like, all right, I gotta call in now.

And but I just wanted to say. I just wanted to say to go off of like what you were saying too about how there are good men out there and I recently just found one, and like I'm twenty six now, so going like, after all of these just you know, relationships that didn't work and whatnot, and dealing with all these horrible men, there are good men out there, and there are men that will.

Treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. You just have to be patient and wait for it. But but yeah, I totally agree with the sense of treating your man like a king. And you know, I totally agree with all that, but if it's reciprocated.

Agreed, I like, I like that narrative. And you know, one Millist, what sounds to me is you were messing with boys and you found yourself a man, which is they're out there that's nice exactly. Yeah, And listen again, I'm not I'm not saying that to not treat your to your significant other like they're a king or a queen. But again, I'm including the queen in there that we both have to we gotta, we gotta find a middle ground. I want a trad wife, though, I want to hear,

A few times. What the hell's this? So we were doing a little bit more digging today.

Essentially, in it's in its simplest forms, it is a traditional wife. It is a stay at home mom, a stay at home wife who you know, does all of the household things while big Daddy goes out and makes the money. If it, if it's for you, that's cool. I'm not throwing any shade, but not for big mo mom, not for me, uh, but it is for beck and Cambridge back. Good morning, babe, Hi, how are you good?

No?

Not till this morning.

Okay, So talk to me stay at home mom, stay at home wife, Like, what does your.

Day to day look like?

Well, I recently started working part time in the morning because my children have not gotten older. Okay, but when when they were younger, you know, I was a saying home mom. I took care of the house. I did everything for my husband and my children. You and out. He paid all the bills. He's a wonderful father, coach the kids teams. So it brought me joyce. Not it's one of those things. He has to be the right man. He has to be the man that makes you feel good about your role in life.

And what about you?

Did you ever feel like lost in that? Did you ever feel like you didn't have an identity in that? Like you never had anything for or yourself that you were constantly just giving to everybody else? Or was that enough for you.

No, because I did have my own identity as well, which was what we didn't. I was still my own person. I still had my friends, and.

It wasn't and you weren't like you got that you got out of the house and did your own things as well, by yourself of course.

Yeah.

And I always went to mom's groups. We have a lot of local moms groups in Cambridge, okay, where you can meet with other moms and it's wonderful, wonderful.

Okay.

Well, and like I said, beg for it is it is for some people. It's it's like I'm not the type that could do it. But talking to you, like, it's not like as if you're calling me being like I hated it and I regret staying at home all of those years, like you didn't.

Oh no, I love it, Like it was great. Yeah, I got to spend so much time with my children. You didn't have to worry about daycare that. Yeah, I didn't have to worry about any expenses.

Yeah.

I did you ever have a moment where you were how many kids you got?

I have four?

Did you Jesus, did you ever have a moment where everybody was crying and going crazy? And you just were like, get me the hell out of here, because I have those daily and I only have two, so I didn't.

I just didn't know.

I mean, yeah, it's usually by like kind of the end of the day when he's coming home, and then he comes home and you know, he takes it on.

Did he he helped out?

Oh?

He did?

Okay, So would you do the dinners and stuff too? Or would he help cook?

Yeah?

You would.

I usually did that because he'd be out playing with the kids and like trying to give me a personal break, and I love cooking, so it was like my time.

All right, Becky, Well thank you for that.

I mean, listen the way Becky's describing it, it still doesn't sound something for me.

But she's probably the closest you're going to get to the upple of how it's supposed to be.

Yes, I don't like it. I don't think I could be the person who wants to be like that. I'm so used to have being with my wife who's into her into like just to work and everything like that. To have a traditional wife like that.

Right, But that's all you know, maybe it's also on.

The flip these women who want to just stay home because they're lazy and they don't want to do nothing.

By the way, and I've seen there's people will create content around that. Yes, like I don't. There's a girl that I follow that she's married, she's a trophy wef. She doesn't have a job, she has they don't even have kids. She's like, this is what I do all day while my husband works and she goes.

And so it's the opposite side because yes, some guys who want that the traditional wife, but they kind of using it to you know, kind of just have somebody to watch the kids. They don't talk to you, they don't show you no love. This guy, the last example sounded like the perfect gentleman, right Yeah. But then on the other side, there's the wives who are just like, bro, I don't want to work, just go make money, give me a card, I can go shopping, do whatever I

I think we can all wrap our head around a stay at home mom because again, like that that daycare, all those things they cost. So if you're somebody who has that in you, that you can do it. Like again, I love my cad. It's more than anything on this planet. But I need this time outside of like the house, because you can only play like zombie so many times before you do go crazy. But stay at home wife with nothing like that's a special breed because what are you doing?

It just sounds so alring and just looking out the window when kids are done and folding.

That's like, oh, I can't say it like that.

Well, hey, that's at all.

How many times can you go to home Goods and get something different every day? If it's every Wednesday?

I cool?

How do you know.

That that's what shops the new Goods every Wednesday?

Foreign is lying, he's a little trophy wife.

And morning show with d J Foreign it's Sat Mornington's number one for hip hop jam in ninety four or five.

Santy's the vibe.

Man.

You guys, your Latino people have got to take an l on this. Bro Okay, did you hear what's going on with fat Job?

I saw her number, I didn't. I didn't get the full story.

I By the way, if you're just checking in our girl Ashley's out today, shout out to her. Please Sunday your love. She's not feeling well at Ashley Felman, me and Sonta been holding it down all morning and this came across my timeline yesterday and I couldn't believe this number. Now Fat Joe legendary rapper, he was actually being flat. I don't know if you saw this. He was actually getting flamed online because for some reason, SeaWorld now is doing like summer concerts.

Have you seen, yes, I.

Have The Yin Yang Twins was the first one that went viral and I kind of was like, why's the Yin Yang Twins that at sea World? But I was like, they must need money. Then next thing, you know, Sojier Boy was there. Then next thing you know, Fat Joe Now it was there. And for Fat Joe's performance, every other performance look lit, but they're trying to say that Fat Joe's performance was kind of like luck Cluster and people are leaving and nobody enjoyed it. Anyway, He's been

Yeah, And I think the issue because he lost all a weight till now, it's more prominent.

There you go, speaking of the way my guy even though he and he looks good by the way, pause, right, he lost a gang of weight. He's looking healthy. Can you guess how many sodas diet sodas Fat Joe admitted to drinking in a day.

I mean, if you're saying it like that, it has to be twenty double that forty forty Bro, This god drinks forty cans a diet coke every day.

I don't know if that's the SODA's drinking. I'm just gonna say, die coke, bro, how do you consume forty cans of diet soda in a day.

You're not drinking water to hydrate, You're drinking diet cokes like all day.

That's exact, band, And ain't you supposed to like limit your the junk that you have when you're on a zempic. One out of zempic fans over here. I mean, we've never taken it, so I don't know.

No.

I from what I from what I've always heard is that you can eat yourself right through it too, Like it's supposed to be like a limit and balance out like your I guess you're pancreas, but like you can eat right through that forty.

Diet sodas a day. I'm gonna admit something to you. When I was at my heaviest, I was probably like three soning right, many many years ago. Every time I would sit down to eat something, I have two sodas. I would have two cans. If not more, we should buy what were they the twelve pack cans? Those were probably going in two days. I was a soda fiend. I was just I sit down for lunch too, I sit down for dinner too. Maybe between one or two I was, I was consuming a lot of sugar.

So okay, so let's just put it. You were probably having like eight a day, maybe better than forty forty.

That's a fact. Like and die soda is a gimmick. I'm sorry they try to say diet, but come on it, you know what I mean. It's like I don't I don't even know how to explain this. But forty kans of soda, Fat Joe? How many kans of soda do ya drink? Be real like Fat Joe? And tap in that actually too. E's in the am tapping on ig We want to know Sasty.

And the Jamine Morning Show with d J four and it's sautiic warning Bustin's number one for hip hop jamming ninety four five.

All right, everybody, let's check in with you. What's going on? How are we?

Six one seven nine three one one nine four five six one seven nine three one one nine four five. You call me and we're talking about anything you want. It's all about your life. Our Lenny is in stow in. She's going to start the check in for us. Uh. Things are a little rocky right now between you and the father of your children. So how long have you guys been separated? What's the setup? Do they live with?

You?

Like?

See set the scene for us?

So basically, I met him back in my space days when I was like twelve, yeamn, and I know, and we were we stayed together until I think I was like twenty twenty one. But throughout that whole really like throughout the whole relationship at the time, it was just toxic, all types of toxic. I was just young.

Yeah.

When you're saying relateships the red flash you guys were never married or anything like that.

Oh no, okay, okay.

So after I turned obviously twenty, I got like, I put my big girl pants on. I said, Okay, this is not what I want. You know, my son is walking. This guy has no chill about what he says about my around my son. I had a just walked day.

He made.

By the way timeline wise, you said you had a one year old son around the age of twenty, so you were really young.

Yes, so I had my son at seventeen. Sorry, I had him at seventeen.

Yeah.

Wow, so you had to ground like that's crazy. Seventeen is young.

You have this this kid, You're like you automatically knew after about a year's time with the baby, this is not He's not going to be a good role model for my son.

Exactly. You couldn't say it anybody. That's what I said to myself, because it's like you date someone you want your son to be like if that makes sense, like you don't want more, if you don't want your child to be like the specific person's like why are you doing?

What are we doing?

Or you don't want your daughter dating this type of guy? What are we doing here? Yeah, So that's the thing. When when I turned twenty twenty one, a couple of years went by, he you know, tried to get back with me at like twenty five. He tried, and I kind of believe everything he was saying that he changed or whatever, and we ended up getting back together and we had another baby. She's a beautiful girl. But it's like things just got worse, Like he kind of came

M So, yeah, you let him back in, which, you know, okay, we have a whole other baby.

So now we have two kids with this man. Yeah, and do we feel like obviously.

You felt like there was a little bit of change, and I'm sure that's why he took him back and all the things. And now he's kind of reverting back to the initial reason why you left.

Him exactly and what I mean by changing. I've seen him solber, not drinking, not smoking, because I noticed back in the days when he was drinking, he'll get very angry than the next morning not remember what he did or said, you know, and that physically and mentally destroyed me. And he wouldn't understand because he's a man. He's like, oh you she got over it. She's a woman. And I don't like that type of mindset.

So where are you guys at today? Like you don't live with each other, you live with each other?

Like what's not we don't live with each other? That like, yes, so we don't live with each other, went out together and he just won't kind of like co parent in a healthy way like he was. You won't talk to me. It's either work together or he just don't want to talk to me at all. And I think that's just a sick mindset because at the end of the day, it's the kids now, and I feel like the kids shouldn't know if you don't like their mother. I believe

Yeah, yeah, I agree on that, and that's Honestly, the way I was raised, my parents were divorced, but.

Until I was of age, they were best friends.

In my eyes, they just weren't together anymore and they co parented. And you know, I would agree with you on that, but that has to be and I know foreign that's kind of that was your mindset, but both parties have to.

Agree to that.

So if he's not, then now are you comfortable, Like does he take the kids by himself?

Are you comfortable with that? Do you mentioned the drinking and stuff.

So I'm not comfortable because of my personal reasons. It's been like the family co signed him with his behavior. That's what makes it even worse. These are not people like, oh you're wrong, They're like, okay, you know what it is. What it is. So it makes me not like I don't feel comfortable around like my kids being around like the family and stuff, because like when I'm telling you, when they get lit, they're like punching each other, doing all types of stuff. And I don't want my kids

So what do they see him?

Then?

Under your supervision or how are you guys handling that?

So I so I offered him that, but it's like when he's around me, he's just saying a bunch of stuff and the kids are there, so I'm like, Okay, this is not going to work out. So that's where I'm stuck at right now. Like he's not respecting me. I don't really talk to any of the family, and it's deep like that.

So I'm like, suck, yeah, And.

How old are the kids?

Eleven and ten months?

Yeah, that's I mean, it's a hard leg to have because unless he's physically abusing them, or mentally abusing them, or even verbally abusing him to the extent where they feel like, oh nah, you can't be around him. You can't really stop him from, you know, taking the kids and going to the like you said, ghetto house. You get what I'm saying. So if everybody over there is like rowdy and have a you may not like it, but do you really have a legal leg to stand on to be like, nah, I don't want him to

No, no, no, So there's been like other stuff is just I'm on lie. So I don't like yeah, yeah, so things have gone like that route not safety, like where I don't feel safe and I feel like if I'm not safe, why should my kids be around that?

And it's not like I just listen, you and I both have babies around the same age, and I can't picture a day where they he doesn't see her dad, and I know that you want there to be that relationship. He deserves for there to be that relationship. I don't know how you guys come to that, but I think that is of the utmost important for the kids, and especially for an eleven year old boy, like he needs dad, you know. And so I don't know how you guys

Like, yeah, like I let him, you know, with the kids, I've fell allowed it. But it's like it seems like he's more focused on my personal life honestly, and it's like, yeah, it's a not an end in story, and it's like I want him to be there. I want him to see the kids, but then I.

Want to ask her.

I want to see for and if you ever, like, did you ever go through that when you and your ex, Like when you guys first decided to split, and you guys are trying to figure it, like, did you have to have a conversation like, Hey, I'm not going to ask you about what you're doing in your personal life because could seehere that would be a hot button.

But I don't know if it was really a conversation. Maybe it came up in an argument, But that's the understanding though, you know what.

I mean, anyone's business.

Yeah, we're going on separate ways. What you do on your side and what I do on my side of two different things. Now, if you've got a toxic partner or something like that, or a toxic egg and they stop coming at you the way you know old Boy's coming at you, then it's different. But you have a ground to stand on. I understand in the moment it doesn't seem that way. It's easy for us to talk about it from the outside, but you got grounds to stand on and ways to be able to make that happen.

R Lenny.

I feel like when we first started this combo. You kind of insinuated he still wants to be back with you, and I think that's we need we need to squash that first and foremost, like.

That's that's not the future for you guys.

But that's okay. You can still be really good parents. Man, you have a literal baby in the house.

You know it can happen. It's gonna take a lot of work.

No, and I agree, and that's what I told him. But he has this mindset like ask this girl I don't want to talk to. But he texted that to my son's phone. So that's where those toxic comes, Like why are you texting our son that you hate me?

And eleven years? That's a loser's he's heard.

He figures the way to get to you. It's to hurt yous to get through your kids. You got to sit your kids down and be like, listen, pop, you know what I mean. This is what's going on with me and your dad. And you know he may say some mean things and you know that. Don't take it to heart. You know I'm and you show them the opposite side of love. You get what I'm saying. Don't stoop down to his lit don't.

Ever talkers sucks so much sometimes, God, and you have to do it, letting it, I know, and I hate it for you because it's terrible.

Sometimes it's just not easy. But you you have like you got it. It's just eventually will.

Get there, because these kids are going to become teens and then they're going to become adults and they'll they'll see for themselves. Right now, it's so impressionable that you know Dad is trying to make it. Trust me, you do not got to defend nothing. He says. Kids know a lot more than we think they do. I learned that by experience, and as they get older, they'll realize, Yo, Dad is always the one with negative and Mom is

And I just want to take a second to to say like, and I don't want to. It's gonna make me emotional just to say it. You have a ten month old like that that this should really be highlighted here. I know how much work that is. You can't look away for a second. You're doing all of this with no help, and you just want him to be a part of it. And that that's that's also like a

That is a lot.

And then to make it worse, he lives fifteen minutes from me, and I've been doing this on my own, you know, for me, she was born.

That's crazy that Yeah, he's a bully, and you got to ignore the bully. That's really what you got to do at the end of the day. I know it's hard, I know it's tough. Again, talk to your kids, but don't react to everything he does, because then he knows he's getting under your skin and that's what he's thriving for the moment you start.

I got a question for you guys. Sorry, So if if you guys, because you know, this system is all messed up, you know, this court system, this whole this whole family courts, all that stuff. I did conversate with a couple people they you know, looked in the background, and they honestly felt like supervised visits is like the best way, you know, if things have gotten physical with the mother in the past, like that's what they recommend. And what would you guys suggest.

Yeah, I mean, I give you two ways. You got to protect your kids, okay, but there is a thing about involving the government in your family. They will be in every nook and cranny of your business. A lot of people don't like to go that way because that's that's the feeling. But if you're genuinely like, if there's really a problem and a safety for concern for your children, you as a mother got to do what you gotta do to protect yourself and your children.

I just don't know if necessarily we can answer that for you. We're not there. That's a gut decision that you got to make for yourself. Like you know, it's like a mom can understand every kid has different types of cries, right, but only the actual mother can decipher through the cries. I think that's the same kind of sentiment here. We're not there, We don't know what it is. We can only give you our outside opinion. You're in there.

So that and I appreciate that, And I should have said, like an opinion, because no one can decide for myself.

Yeah, and listen, honestly, I could just tell you just wanted to call invent and get this off your chest.

So I'm glad you did.

I don't know if we helped it all, but I know it probably feels good to at least be able to talk about it.

So the best of luck.

Thank you.

I just want you to know I see you, and I know how hard it is, and you know, just keep putting those kids first.

That's really all you can do.

Okay, thank you so much, Good luck, good luck.

To your point, I feel like she's already said the words, like that guy is telling her exactly what to do.

Yeah, And I think again, if it's a tough situation, if he still wants to be with her, and now he's coming in, who are you with texting the.

Eleven year old talking about I hate your mother. That's like legit diabolic though.

But then also she's already gone through the steps of talking to somebody, through the courts and all that stuff. I feel like she knows what she needs to do for her kids. Yeah, it's you know, hesitation, and I understand it. It must be impossible for I know, day.

And the jam in Morning shot with DJ Foreign. It's Santy Morning.

Gotin's number one for hip hop. He am in ninety four or five.

Hey, happy Thursday. The money she got Foreign Santy. We're in here only a few more days till the weekend. I got Offset. Oh did you see this? Offset went for the first time live on TikTok. Now, yeah, he went for the first time. He didn't know again, Novice didn't know what he was doing. And at first people are just kind of giving him like a little I don't know what you I'm not on TikTok live like that. But eventually they started throwing him money.

Okay, yes, because if you start like doing like the hearts and the.

Flowers hats on yeah mask weird things on people's face. Because he was always like, what am I supposed to do with the hat on my face? And but eventually, yeah, he was on there for a while and he started making money. The reason I bring up Offset, by the way, is because cardy b is they.

Divorced right or they were never married?

Yes, they were married. There were officially Like you see now you got me thinking I thought they.

Were all right, Well, whether they are there, but they're broken up.

Yes, they have been separated. It's clear that Cardy has finally finally moved on, because you know, we will disclaiming her for going back. She talks smack about him and then go back and then talk smack about him. But anyway, she has her own issues now that she she does.

Do you remember in twenty twenty three when she was in Vegas and threw the mic at somebody when she was performed hard too?

Yeah, baseball, and I'm pretty.

Sure that somebody threw a drink at her and she threw the mic back. We hit the wrong person. Well, that woman is suing her for assault and battery over the incident.

Really, yes, do we have a number? Do we have a figure?

We don't have a number. We just know that the lawsuit has been filed.

Oh that was a minute ago.

Twenty yeah, I mean it was two years ago.

While we wait in two years to sue.

I mean why, because I don't know. Do you assume that maybe she tried to get money from her and then she just never reached back out to her, and now she took the steps to hire like a lawyer. Maybe, like I don't know, Listen, I understand that you can be upset, But I don't know if I'm suing Cardi b for I'm getting really what.

You payday? But do you have pay?

Do you have to like have an injury or just because you threw the mic at you, like say you threw the mic and you were fine?

Number one.

Here's the thing, right, I think about it from this aspect. Number One, if the bike was thrown and nobody ever talked about it, she probably would have definite suit because the moment went viral. You're gonna be you feel embarrassed basically, so you got to get paid for your embarrassing.

Well, I guess to your point too, you're gonna it's an easy win because there's video evidence of it, like happening the.

Mic at me. Yeah, I paid money to come into your venue, and I'm not even the one who threw the drink at you. How much are you asking for? Oh, I'm asking for what they do, paying and suffering. Yeah, I'm doing all that my bills, my hospital bills, and I'm cool with a hundred.

Thou I feel like you could get more, Okay, how much more? I think you asked for a million and you settle on two and fifty.

Damn, that's a that's like a three quarter cut. Yeah, a million. I'm suddenly at a half a million. Okay, fine, face injury. I can't see no more. My DJ skills change. I can't talk on the radio like I used to. Or that's funny. I think that was a radio host.

It I think so.

I think the person who got hit in the face was a radio host.

I'm doing it. If you're an average person, are you doing it?

Listen to my voice? I am suing the hell out of Cardi b It's I'm smiling at first, I'm crying as soon as I get behind closed doors, I'm like, Yo, we getting paid? Who do I need to call? Who's the who's the sleeve? But who's going after a diddy with all the funny cases? Busby? What's his name? Buzzby? I'm calling Buzzby. I'm like, yo, we are going after this chick. I need to get paid. Daddy needs a party.

It's Ashley in the jam In Morning Show with DJ Foreign and Saunty.

And it's time for another DM dilemma.

We're doing DM dilemma and I just put my phone down and pushed it away.

I was I was writing to concentrate on this conversation in which my phone all right, first and foremost. I think it's fair to say that everybody goes through things in life, and sometimes it's hard to talk to the people in your circle because they're too close to the situation they might already have, Like are they know Santi? So you come to complain about Santi and they're like, well, yeah, I hate him, Like I don't why why were we

He said.

We aren't on the same page with anything, and we have no common interest. We don't have deep conversations. Unfortunately, we own a business together, but on my end, I technically have no income. We planned to sell our company pay off the house, and he said he would help me financially. I got scared and mentioned about wanting to know where certain finances are going, and he flipped out of me. We've never thought about money ever, But now I'm left here with four kids and feeling like he's

This one is almost like two parts, because I feel like the relationship is one thing in the business parts another. I think the relationship is actually gone. I don't know if she could have to get that part back, but the business part and the family part, I feel like she should consult a lawyer on that one because I feel like she has rights in the money, but she's not on the lead or she's not on like the title of anything. So I think she needs to contact like a lawyer.

I'm not gonna sit up here and yeah, I don't know about the legalities behind that. I want to believe again that he's going to think in his head, well, yea, the kids are going to be spending a lot of time with her.

I'm not going to do this to her.

Maybe that's not his plan. Yeah, maybe he's planing's the strip of all the bread and get full custody and the kids stay with him.

Yeah, you know what, that's a good point. By the way, this this sticks out to me. I don't know if you got this has been in the works for months.

He said, we aren't on the same page, we have no common interests, we don't have deep conversations. I don't know why I read that, and I think he met somebody. I don't know what about that makes me feel like there's somebody else that he's getting those things.

From things those are specific. Yeah, but I think if you couple that with like what he's been feeling. And again I'm not siding with him by any means, but like they aren't connected at all, and you made that super clear, but maybe that's what led him down another path.

I mean, does she agree with that statement? Does she agree that they're not connected that I just that they don't have deep come.

I just wrote her back and I said, we're talking about this right now. If you want to, like you add anything into it. She just said, it can't stay this bad forever.

Here's what I'm gonna say. If you feel like you're about to get screwed out of a situation because you guys are married to, anything that you guys own is both of y'alls. It doesn't matter who has more income or stuff like that. That might play out in a divorce code when it comes to maybe alimony or maybe child support. Yeah, but for the most part, y'all are

Unrelated to this specific situation, but one of my other good friends is going through it right now, in the midst of a divorce, and she texts me this, and I was like it just the line stood out to me. She said, the person you marry is not the person you divorced. And people because people switch up, because everybody is in it for themselves. Then, right, you're trying to

And even if you're not that vindictive to the most part, you will not. You don't like this person no more. You're not feeling this person no more. Me and you are not connected no more. I don't feel what we had when we were married now. So because of that, we got to split, which is a good decision because

I'm all about you know, if you're not happy in your relationship, getting out of it, especially if there's kids involved. I think you'd be a better parent if you were a better you. But I also understand that there are so many logistics that go into this for people. I mean, she has they have four young kids and a business, so how does like, how do they? Hey, the world also is expensive. It's not easy nowadays where people just

But you would think because the kids are involved that he would be a little bit better with like making her feel at least if we're we're done, you guys are gonna be fine.

But that's why I'm saying there's two sides to the story. Yeah, and there's something on his sideway. He's like, nah, shurety, you ain't You ain't been pulling your weight for X amount of is and I'm not about to do this with you.

It's so crazy because I've been married for twenty years now, and like, I can't picture me and my wife going through this if we ever got to this point. But you hear that so often that people in my situation, I have thought the same exact thing. They get a divorce and all of a sudden, like they're fighting at this point, and it's like super sad that she's there.

Though, one hundred percent, and I think it's probably such a roller coaster of like, okay, like this is what it is. This is horrible, horrible, horrible, let's work it out. Oh now, one person says one thing. Now I'm p off. Now we're being mean. Now we're trying to one up each other. Well, then my name's on the business, yours isn't. And you just keep going back to there are kids involved, and God willing, they could figure it out, but I don't know. This just seems something seems off here to

It might be why you're getting divorced. You might not be pulling your weight. I know we want to look at the guy and make him look like a demon. But maybe you haven't been pulling your weight for sixteen years and he's been quiet about it and he's fed up now.

But to the line, though, the more I think of that, we don't have deep conversations. He's having those conversations with someone else.

Yeah, I think so too.

But that's what happens when you fall apart. Yeah, what happens when you're not pouring one hundred percent into the relationship, You find what you're missing someone else.

Six one seven nine three one one nine four or five. I feel like in the last.

Two months, we've talked about divorce so much, so many people are kind of going through it right now. Six one seven nine three one one nine four five. If you want to weigh in, Chris is in Brockton. Chris, when I read that message you heard, why is she stressing out about this?

If the man is saying, hey, I'm going to take care of.

You, right, and then why didn't she take care of the man as well? As If you've been put someone for sixteen years and he's telling you, we're not having deep conversations. Why not seek therapy and have those decomversations with them?

Yeah, but we don't have that answer, right, So we don't know if he came to her three years ago and said we're not connected on this level anymore, like we need to work on this, or it came out of the blue.

I mean, we don't know.

Now.

I don't think it came out of the blue. I think, especially if they own a business, I believe this relationship has been going down of you know, a bad path.

It could for sure, But again we do No, we don't have all the answers and say it didn't Chris.

Let do that.

Yeah, let's let's you know, let's say that.

But the information she gives it sounds like she's only giving her part on financials and money. She's not really saying what she did and what she didn't do.

Maybe she was a full time mom, Maybe that was her job. Maybe she wanted to hypothetic as a wife.

You can't be just a full time mom. You got to be a wife and a mom. Get married, Get married for a reason. You could just be a baby mother.

Then no, I get it.

But like you know, I'm using let's use my life as an example for this. Right now, I don't think that I at this point in my life, my number one priority is the girl. They're young, they're little, I'm breastfeeding, I'm doing on things. Do I think that my I'm the best possible wife I could be right now? No, I'm trying and I'm doing my best. But maybe they're in that little spell right now where it's like they have a baby.

We don't know which which Okay, let's let's grant her that. Let's let's grant her that, and she has a baby, and you know it's a little hard for at the same time that she should seek therapy before the marriage gets too bad. She should seek therapy, and when she was having the baby should have start therapy, like maybe fifteen years ago, five years ago, two months ago, therapy.

Okay, but I like, I don't need therapy, you know what I mean? But I and I try my best.

Now that you need therapy, it's like you need someone else to talk to so you can you know understand what this other mad, what this other person may be missing, or what the other person isn't seeing that you're mistake totally and.

Listen, I will say with say this to you if if, if it was vocalized to me, Hey, Ash, I need you to communicate better, hay Ash, I don't feel like we're doing ABCND I would do those things we don't know, but you don't you.

Know that means you would have a great man. I mean everyone will be great. No one's gonna obviously communicate like that one hundred percent of the time, you know what I mean. That's why I always say, you know, getting an outside store for someone else that can come in, someone that's fit in that same situation, like another couple, another married couple will be good too.

What was what was a line about her not having a job. Technically she said something like technically I don't have What does she say?

We own a business together and on my end, I technically have no income. We plan to sell our company, pay off the house, and he said he will help me financially. I got scared, and I mentioned wanting to know where hold on, hold on, hold on. We plan to sell our company, pay off the house, and he said he will help me financially. I got scared and I mentioned about wanting to know where certain finances are going, and he flipped, we have never once thought about this.

Listen, it sounds like their businesses family owned to the point where she probably works. They're part time, full time doing whatever like that. Yeah, that's what it.

Was agreed upon, like you stay home with the kids, you do this, I'll do that, I'll run this.

But whatever. Yeah, I don't.

I don't take it as a fine. This guy has issues with finances. There's an issue that he feels a way about how the finances are running in that crib. So maybe he doesn't like the fact that she's technically not working. Finances is an issue for him.

Well, then that should have been told to her.

How we know it wasn't.

Yeah, we don't, that's the thing. And but again that's why we don't know. She could have been thanks for the call. Christ by the way, she could have been completely blindsided. She could have No, she's not responding. The last she said was it can't stay this bad forever. She's she's not well.

Listen, on the therapy part, I don't think it should just be her getting therapy. I think they should have gone as a couple together and adjust both have problems here.

Do you know what I'm trying to say where it's like, I don't, we don't know what. Like I think that there was a time where being a wife was my only responsibility.

I didn't have kids.

That was my change.

It changed it things change right like you know.

And not to say I'm a bad wife right now, but my wifely duties are getting you know, the baby and the kids are yeah. Yeah, So I don't know. I just don't know where they're at with that. But I mean her responds of it can't stay bad forever. She's not good.

I know she's not good. But I do not think this this relationship can be saved. But I do think financially you can get some help there.

Though the person you marry is not the person you divorce. That stands out to me. Six one seven nine three one one nine four five six one seven nine three one one nine four five. If anybody is going through this right now, has been through a divorce and wants to offer up some wise words, hit us up. Good morning, it's Ashing the jym Winshew. Hi everybody, Good morning, it's Ashing the gym in the morning show. I got a DM from anonymous who basically is like, ash, I'm going

To kind of offer her some advice.

We have so many follow up questions for but we obviously are not going to get the answer. I just think, you know, it would be good for her to hear from somebody away from all of it.

What are your thoughts hearing all of this?

So we don't know the whole story, But what I've learned after a ten year failed relationship is your spouse comes before your kids. Not not like before your kids, but your kids are going to grow up, they're gonna get married, they're going to leave, your parents are going to pass. Your spouse is going to be there with you. You have to take care of your spouse and then your children.

I don't disagree with her, I actually don't.

I don't disagree.

I think obviously your relationship with your partner should be as important as that of your kids. I just think that there are certain instances where you know, there's eras of your life, or there's chapter of your life where taking care of the kids is of the utmost important. If they're paid, you know, there's just it's just as life. Yes, yes, but yes, I think valuing your relationship and making it as important as possible is important.

Jen. If that's what you're saying, I get that for sure.

So I always was my kids at first. My kids are first. My kids are first because that's how I was raised. Their kids at first, Your kids are first, and I let my relationship slide.

And then by the time, you know, I.

Would see these old couples like married sixty seventy eighty years, and they're like, we never stopped, We always came first. We worked together, it was one hundred percent. We disciplined the kids together, we took care of the kids together. And that's just not how anybody is nowadays. Everybody is just almost for themselves.

I don't believe that.

I don't believe that.

I think, well, yeah, I think in some relationships, and I think those are the ones that probably aren't doing well. But you know, I think there's a lot of relationships that do try to be a team and be partners and try to do it all together.

You know, I've noticed two, you know, little things in the house.

You know. She'll say to me, can I have chocolate? And I will say, no, it's eleven am. You're not having any chocolate. And she'll go into the other room and she'll say to my husband, can I have chocolate? And he'll be like, your mother just told you. You know, we echo each other, and that I think, you know, I think there are people that have that, and the bottom line is, wouldn't it be great?

Right?

To be able to.

Say, my relationship with my partners are the utmost important as well as my kids, and you can do it all, but it's a lot, and I think one of them is going to fall by the wayside.

You just have to work on it as hard as you can, right, No, I.

Agree, I just I think I heard it. And now that my kids are older and I'm in a new relationship, and it's different because they're teenagers, so I don't have to really take care of them, but I will, you know, put my happiness a little bit before theirs, instead of being like, oh, I have to do this for them before I take care of me.

Yeah.

I don't know that.

It feels weird for me, and I don't know if maybe it's because your kids are older, like I don't. I can't even fathom putting my happiness ahead of.

Here's what I say, because we've been in your party. What I think she should be saying, or what I would say, is like, yes, kids come before, like it just doesn't taking care of them all, but still make the effort. And sometimes it's super hard to date your husband, date your partner because that's that still matters, and that builds the relationship there. I think a lot of people sometimes, well they don't do that, and then ten.

Years goes easy to get lost.

Yes, and that thing. It is so hard to keep a good marriage, especially when you have kids. And I think that's what she was trying to say.

And if you don't communicate, I almost feel like that's what's going on with this DM dilemma. I'll be honest with you. I think I think financiers was a problem for them for a while or whatever. The husband was not happy with and he just kept quiet about it, or maybe he said something, but it wasn't communicated. They didn't sit down and talk these things.

That's the thing.

And I think now sixteen years later, he's just he's fed up. And you might be he might have found out in somebody else and he's like, what, Oh, so this is the way love's supposed to be. I'm out of here.

Marriage is so hard, dude, Like it's so hard on hard, Yes, and then you add kids into it and jo crazy.

Yeah, and nobody just gets married and then you're just a honeymoon for sixteen years and a job.

And then you're at financing. Then you add jobs and you add all the things in life.

And this sentiment is hard to articulate, Like I'm having trouble figuring out the right words because I don't like the verbiage of I put my happiness in front of my kid's happiness, because that's I don't and I would never. But I do see what everybody's saying is we have other calls being like I agree, like your partner should be your number one priority. If your partnership in your house isn't good, you're not gonna parent well because things aren't good.

Like the base of this, like the rock is rocky.

Here's what I'll say. Our kids are our priorities like number one, but each other. Maybe we're one point two, we're not two, we're not three, but it has to be like very important.

And I think people taking it literally like, oh, what, so they're sick. You don't take no. Yeah, health is good. You know you're making sure that your kids are growing up to be a good adults and good people in society. But at the same time, I kind of hear what she's saying, because when it's all said and done, everybody leaves the nest and it's just you and your partner and now you're looking at each other like, oh, I

Yeah, I've also heard that too.

Divor at that age it's a it's askuta.

Because you really literally just stayed because of the kids.

Yeah, I know this is This is such an interesting conversation because it's and again it's hard to articulate because at the end of the day, they're your babies, so you're of course going to be protective of them, but you also have to be protective of the person that gave them to you.

You know heard the staff that by the time your kids are twelve, you've already spent seventy five percent of the time with them that you have.

That makes me want vomit.

And but to that point, it's like, all right, twelve, so from twelve on you're left with seventy five percent of your partner. Now, it's like, so that's why that foundation is so important through those years. Yeah, but that's stat mess me up.

Damn.

Let's all have a cry.

I might, I might shed a tear or go home and like do something weird with the farm man. Keep her more spicy because now everybody's listening like she doesn't prioritize him priority Up there tonight.

Dashy and the jam In Morning Show with d J four and it's Saunty Morning Bustin's.

Number one for hip hop jam in ninety four or five.

Wow, we made it happy Thursday. Thank you everybody for the DMS, the talk bats to call in checking in on Ashley as well, Santy for anybody who might just be tapping in now. Our girl Ashley was out today, a very rare thing by the way, Yeah, which I know she probably tried to fight through it before she could call out, but she's she has some kind of stomach bug or whatever's going on. And again, when you got kids, you know, you start getting other kind of

To day off.

I mean, she should have called out sick on Friday.

At this point, it's gonna be Friday tomorrow. Get sick like you don't be here with the stomach bugget honestly too, I don't want the.

Stomach bug stay home again, but yeah, shout out to actually make sure ya show all the love at Ashley Felman and yeah again, shout out to anybody that tapped him with us all throughout the show, Santy, go ahead with your shout out.

Shout out to the stomach bug man, because it's a serious thing and all joking aside. When you have the stomach bug and it's like it decimates you, it's awful.

Yes, yes it is for me actually too easy. The am as always make sure y'all taping all us check in on the podcast, follow us on Instagram. Tonight. Shout out to all my librarians, not my librarians, I try to say differently because yeah, I will counted me yesterday, but it's a librarian like the country, not librarians like the women at the bookstore. Whatever. Tonight, we're over there at Venue for the Independence Day and then tomorrow all