Here at the beginning of the school year, teachers are doing their initial assessments, figuring out who of their students is how far along the literacy timeline. It can be a worrisome time for us parents – what if our kids don't read when they're supposed to? What if they tell you "reading is boring"? What if they hate reading? We all know that reading is THE key to our children's future success… but how do you get them to want to read? Today's bonus episode digs into the two most important fac...
Sep 21, 2017•32 min
If you're struggling with back-to-school time, or starting-school time – I'm creating shows this month and next to help you feel better. Today's is all about homework. Over the years I've had parents share the most horrible stories about homework and their little kids, like the mom whose six-year-old received an afterschool detention for missing four homework assignments in a row. That one still makes me choke a little. Or the one about a child forced to miss recess because of a parent's failure...
Sep 19, 2017•25 min
With fall youth sports in full swing, I wanted to share something ugly that I witnessed last spring: a dad berating his young son, after the boy and his fellow teammates took a real drubbing, losing a soccer game big-time. In this empathy-lacking, divisive grown-up-up world, what kids learn on the soccer field seems more important and relevant than ever before; listen to today's show to find out how a parent's attitude makes or breaks a child. Click here to sign up for the upcoming Streamline Yo...
Sep 14, 2017•28 min
Back when We Turned Out Okay turned 2, I asked you all for a gift: your questions! Today I'm answering one of those questions, listener Caroline's about how to deal with medical issues in your child, and expanding out from "medical" advocacy by sharing, in the second half of today's episode, about how to advocate in other aspects of your child's life. I am so happy to bring back medical ethicist Dr. Art Caplan to address Caroline's question, "Could you possibly give some advice about dealing wit...
Sep 12, 2017•42 min
"With kindergarten," a listener shares, "I feel like I'm about to toss her to the wolves." How are you handling the stresses of the autumn? If you've got a child starting school or preschool, or returning to school, daycare, or preschool, it can be really tough on both you and your kids. That's why today is the first of a 3-part series, the We Turned Out Okay Back-to-School Guide. Today I share the ONE thing you can do to make your child's separation anxiety better! Please note: the Streamline Y...
Sep 05, 2017•24 min
It's the beginning of the school year, if you're listening in real time, and thus the time of year where we are all figuring out new routines, new bus routes, new sports schedules and after-school activities… Definitely a time where we can feel overwhelmed. Today's show answers Shelley's question: "what are the hazards of overscheduling my kids?" The way I see it, there are two big hazards in overscheduling. It's worth, whether at the beginning of the school year or whenever you hear this, under...
Aug 31, 2017•20 min
Are you feeling any of the following right now? Worry about busy schoolday mornings, with the chaos of everyone trying to get up/get dressed/eat/get teeth and hair brushed/get lunches/get out the door/etc.? Fears that, even though you've got a pretty good routine right now, that that could all change with one bad night or morning meltdown? Guilt at being consistently – no matter what you try – super late out the door? Helpless , as you send your child off into school, about "throwing your baby t...
Aug 30, 2017•12 min
Today's guest, author, artist, and speaker Dan Blank, knows an awful lot about fostering creativity. As dad to a six-year-old and a new baby, he also knows the struggles that creative people go through to retain their creativity – their sanity, even – while raising children. For Dan it's a foregone conclusion: the way we humans are, right down to our very core, demands creativity. It's not something we can escape because it's part of us – everything feels off when we don't have a creative outlet...
Aug 29, 2017•59 min
Do you ever wish your kids took on more around the house? Does the prospect of getting to that point seem so overwhelming that you give up before you've even started? Today we're talking about the how to foster responsibility in kids – not an easy task! The way I see it, there are 3 things we can do to encourage responsibility in our kids. Listen to today's show to find out what they are and how to put them into practice! Also – Click here to sign up for the FREE Streamline Your Mornings challen...
Aug 22, 2017•17 min
"My wife doesn't want me to spank them, I get it – I don't want to either but what else can I do?" These words come from a listener's email, a desperate plea to figure out how to discipline kids and keep order during the daily grind. This listener goes on to say "I got spanked, and turned out okay… I got more than spanked to tell you the truth, and I know what the constant barrage of words being screamed at me feels like. To be honest, I'd rather have had the spanking." This listener deftly iden...
Aug 17, 2017•19 min
Back in the early 90s, when I was a preschool teacher, I worked with two 4-year-old best friends, "Stacy," who had lovely chocolate brown skin and eyes, and "Kim," who had blonde hair and blue eyes. One day, as these two best buddies waited together in line for the bathroom, Kim innocently looked up at me and said: "I don't like black people." I was speechless – she's holding the hand of her best friend, who IS a black person, telling me how she doesn't like black people… It just did not compute...
Aug 16, 2017•55 min
When We Turned Out Okay turned 2 several months ago, I asked you all for ideas about what you wanted me to address on the show. Listener Kerri said "I would like to know as a white person what I need to do to be sure my children are not contributing to the racism that is hurting so many." Today, I speak with married, interracial couple Ingrid Alli and Hamilton Graziano, in possibly one of the most moving conversations I've been able to bring you yet. Ingrid and Hamilton are newlyweds, just start...
Aug 15, 2017•1 hr 12 min
Today we take on one of the toughest issues of all: getting our kids to listen to us. This is something every parent deals with and in recent weeks I've been asked about it more than once. Stephanie says "they seem to have come to me without the ability to listen;" Jocelyn says she struggles with "kids not listening and obeying the first time I ask (or the first ten times)"… Is this you? Do you find yourself standing in the kitchen sometimes, with your son or daughter in the next room, and your ...
Aug 08, 2017•24 min
It's time for NPC member Jen's parent-coaching call, and it's a doozy: Jen was feeling guilty about being "responsible" for getting her kids into situations where they were overtired and/or frustrated. She took their misbehavior as her fault, and in this episode I help her figure out a more productive way to frame the situation. We also dig in to several other issues, and by helping Jen resolve them on-air, I also get to help you figure out what to do when: Your child screams "no!" In those mome...
Aug 03, 2017•42 min
Today's guest, PJ Jonas, got a few goats several years ago, because she just loved goats. Always keeping that love in the forefront, PJ and her family – her husband and their eight children – went from those few goats early on to, today, owning and operating a family farm which creates soaps, lotions, and edibles, all from goats milk. When you learn that the Jonas family homeschools in addition to operating the farm and their website, goatmilkstuff.com , you begin to realize the genius that PJ h...
Aug 01, 2017•57 min
Today's episode is a celebration: the Ninja Parenting Community is one year old! That means I've been helping parents of young children figure out their toughest challenges for a whole year – and we've overcome some doozies: – "How do I handle multiple meltdowns?" – "What do I do with my child's disrespectful language and shouting?" – "I'm so overwhelmed… What with sports schedules and everything else, there's never enough time!" This episode is all about the sweet taste of victory; we're highli...
Jul 25, 2017•33 min
We're sticking with the food theme this week, today addressing listener Tim's concerns about kids and food: "Why are my toddlers not eating fruits/vegetables? Why are they only eating snacks (cereal, popcorn, Lunchables, grrrrrr)?" In March of 2016 I made the whole month about food – how to handle picky eaters, how to prepare food without going bankrupt or spending hours in the kitchen – I even created a Guide to Food and Family, with recipes and food hacks, which you'll find in the sidebar at w...
Jul 20, 2017•31 min
When today's guest, Jeannie Marshall, became pregnant with their son Nico after her family relocated to Italy, she developed a fascination for how Italians introduce their babies to food, and the part that food plays in Italian children’s lives now that factory foods and agribusiness have made inroads into Italy. She details her experiences in one of my favorite books, The Lost Art of Feeding Kids. One memorable line: Jeannie writes about when Italian mom of baby Rocco, a boy the same age as Nic...
Jul 18, 2017•1 hr 4 min
Can you think back on your own childhood and come up with some crazy sibling-fight stories? I’ve heard some doozies, people being hung out windows or tied to trees by their siblings, the time a brother put green dye in a sister’s hair – so the sister retaliated by pouring glitter into the brother’s bed! Siblings can hurt each other in lots of big and small ways; sometimes it feels like there’s no good intervention. Today, I share about a book that I first read while pregnant with my second: Sibl...
Jul 11, 2017•45 min
Today's episode, originally broadcast in late 2015, is a Your Child Explained, about how to help our kids grow into creative, happy, socially engaged and above all successful adults. In Tuesday's guest episode, nursery school owner and director Tanya Trainor shared about the changes she, her staff, and the children they serve made to their playground. The traditional slides, climbers, and other big (pricey) equipment typically seen on the playground are gone, and in their place are what Tanya ca...
Jul 06, 2017•30 min
Today’s episode, originally broadcast in late 2015, was super fun to record because I got out of my usual studio and hung out at what’s easily the most amazing playground I’ve ever seen. All of the equipment we see on a typical playground – huge climber, big slide, jungle gym – was gone, and in its place were loose pieces. Bricks, cement pavers, wooden siding, bales of hay, an 8 foot long rowboat, tree stumps suitable for sitting on or rolling around, a rain gutter with a hose near the top: thes...
Jul 04, 2017•46 min
Have you ever had it happen where you're asking your child to do something, and he or she is saying "no"? Depending on your child's age or developmental maturity level, I bet you hear that word – "no" – an awful lot. Today's ninja tactic digs into one way to cut down on the noes! It's all about giving kids directives instead of asking, which sounds simple but in reality can be pretty complicated: when do we give them choices, ask questions, and when is it time to give a directive and communicate...
Jun 27, 2017•15 min
One member of the Ninja Parenting Community might be channeling your thoughts right now: "Oh why do little kids obsess over certain movies? I have been putting Monsters Versus Aliens on every day for a month. What is going on those little brains that makes them demand the same movie so often for so long?" Kids do this all the time… and not just with movies, they do it with books, and stories, and music, too. In this Your Child Explained, we dig into why, exactly what's happening in "those little...
Jun 22, 2017•13 min
Normally, in a We Turned Out Okay guest episode, it's me doing the interviewing… but today that format gets turned on its head! Recently the gentleman behind the Blessing Not Stressing podcast, Rob Broadhead, invited me onto his show. He's such a great interviewer and the idea behind the show is such a lovely one that of course I said "yes please" – and as we spoke I knew I wanted you to be able to listen in as well. Rob splits his conversations into several episodes; on this WTOO episode today ...
Jun 20, 2017•43 min
These last several Just You and Me episodes have been about important stuff: being happier at home, having well-behaved children in public, helping kids resolve their own conflicts. They've each hinged on one particular idea: that the toys kids play with and what's in their environment, can really change their behavior. (Head back to episodes 154 , 157 , and 160 for the rest of the "Loose Parts" series.) Today's episode is about how to actually make these changes – without spending much, if any,...
Jun 13, 2017•40 min
Do you tell your kids how beautiful they are, or how smart they are? This past Tuesday's conversation with Nicole Gardner reminded me once more how dangerous praise – at least the wrong kind of praise – is.Read the show notes for today's episode, about how to make sure you're giving the right kind of praise (and not the harmful kind of praise) by clicking the link below… You'll also find an installment of my new YouTube video series, Parents Time-Out, that addresses this issue as well – if you'v...
Jun 08, 2017•21 min
Recently I attended a presentation about all the key stuff happening in our kids' brains, in which today's guest, Nicole Gardner of the Bezos Family Foundation, shared research, stories, and ideas that resonated so deeply with me, I knew I needed to get her on the show. I learned that: – babies' brains create millions – millions! – of new neurons every second – young kids are all set to learn what they need to know, they come equipped with the best educational tools built-in – the single most im...
Jun 06, 2017•49 min
Does your child ever get into arguments, verbal or otherwise? What's your instinct when this happens – do you want to jump in and smooth everything over? That's not an unusual reaction, because we parents really hate it when our kids fight! In this Just You and Me episode, we dig into why "smoothing everything over" is detrimental to our children's development, and what to do instead. Click weturnedoutokay.com/160 for show notes and key links, including to the wonderful conversation I had while ...
May 30, 2017•33 min
Each week I send out a "what's on the podcast this week" email to people who signed up for a free guide or a free online class – and this week, I screwed up royally about an episode of We Turned Out Okay! I wrote the email update for this past week well before I recorded the episode that went up this past Thursday, and as a result what I said would be this week's Your Child Explained episode wasn't. If you received the email and you were scratching your head about it, I'm so sorry! I recorded th...
May 28, 2017•27 min
It's been a busy few weeks in the Ninja Parenting Community – I counted twenty different issues that parents in there are collectively dealing with – and I knew that, if they're having these issues, most likely so are you! Lots of them are bigger issues – but some of them can be resolved so easily. In today's episode, I talk about one of the latter, and how simply by changing one phrase to a related, but different phrase makes disciplining our kids lots easier. The reason has to do with child de...
May 25, 2017•21 min
