You've Never Been Drunk In A Bowling Alley!?

Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln Radio Studio, the George Washington Broadcast Center, jack Armstrong.

And Joe, Katty.

Armstrong and Jackie and he arms wrong. That'st Little Friday from a dimly lit room.

Keep it from the bowels of the Armstrong a Geddy communications compound.

And today we are under the tutelage of art general managers.

Pete hegsts who's saying.

The right thing, doing the right thing? Secretary at Defense if you need him, Peter.

Hess Oh but he was drunk at work in the evening once fifteen years ago. No sure, how did that get too much attention to the fact that RFK Junior was a heroin addict for what a dozeneeen years?

Fourteen year?

He was drunk quants he had won too many Sharton nays, Oh no, he can't work in the government. What the hell ball a heroin addict for fourteen years, fourteen months would be a hell of a deal. Oh heck, yeah, Wow, that's amazing he survived that. Keith Richards is listening saying, dude has a problem. Wow, that is interesting. That just shows you the depths of a TDS Trump derangement. Syndromere where you get into various things that you care about.

Nobody's talking about it.

First of all, I'd like to say anybody who has not been drunk when they're bowling, get out. I don't want you working in the government. You're too something. You're above the age of twelve years old. You've never been drunk in a bowling alley. That hell got a life were you living?

Boy? Go ahead.

I was just gonna say one more note about it, Pete Hegseath. Not only is he sounding so many great notes, and you're about to hear one about the way the Pentagon and our militaries ought to be approaching their jobs. But yesterday, I think it was the day before, he said, yeah, I'm going to appoint deputies who really adept at running a bureaucracy and understand the Pentagon Cash Purtel said something very similar. By the way, I am nothing but intrigued

All that stuff pales in comparison to the fact that we may have discovered yesterday where life came from, which has been one of the big mysteries of the planet forever.

Why did life start? Nobody knows.

Well, they found some organic matter on a meteorite that they were able to prove that was released yesterday by scientific paper that the theory that many have had for many years that there was life on some other planet somewhere, piece of it broke off, traveled through space, hit our planet, and you know, put into the ground some of the building blocks of getting life going that might be how all the whole thing started, which is just unbelievable.

If I may.

Interject, to save hundreds of people writing emails, jacket was the hand of God that decided there should be life on Earth. And you know what's funny about that, that that quote unquote debate is that never, that's never been a paradox for me.

This is never I'm a god in opposition, I'm a god guy. That does not that.

I don't find a rubbing point there where I've got right if you.

Believe in the Almighty, that is the mechanism by which God Almighty did it. But how freaking fascinating is that? Oh, it's it's it's crazy interesting from how far away?

What plenty we were talking about this a couple of weeks ago, and how the leading theory, a hot theory, seems to be now among your physicists astron astronomers that there is no other intelligent life out there. There actually isn't and mathematically may have reasons why they think that is. Part of it is very little on Earth too, I know,

Yeah, the ships that did not pass in the night.

Yeah, but for to be the organic matter that could bring life here to get it started, I mean, geez, something had to start it well, you know, and a god however that happened, whatever, But I found that to be a very interesting story.

I imagine the difficulties of conceiving if you are the father of us all and the sperm of life flies into the Solar System and has to hit a hospitable planet to begin the lovely process.

Yeah, exciting frost.

You got to hit a Goldilocks planet, because it doesn't work on a planet that's you know, on mercury eight hundred degrees in sunny today that doesn't work, or someplace that's you know, frozen solid four thousand degrees below zero that ain't gonna work at it. My favorite story of yesterday, though,

Have some testicles, man, he cries in the courtroom, begging for a lower sentence.

I've suffered enough, he says, which has just done more good than bad. I've been a public service.

So freaking pathetic. I just, oh, I almost throw up when I saw that. Yes, why don't more people have the cajones to sit there and say, you know what, I like cars, I like cash, I like gold bars, I like nice houses, I like expensive wine. I got away with it for a long time. Sorry I got caught. Smell you later. Why don't more people say that? I guess it was a lobster and a career criminal, and I kept it going for like forty five years. It's a shame it's ended now, but that's you know, what folks,

Like a man.

Well, I guess, I guess you have no scruples, or you wouldn't have done it in the first place. You're that he's gonna spend the rest of his miserable life in a cage. Good is that you're the lowest level of scumbag. So of course you're not gonna say that. You're gonna cry off I've suffered enough. Oh my god, how embarrassing is that? But oh and on the other turn, this was pretty clever on his part. He said Donald

See if people would go for hole. Yes, either doing to me what they tried to do to Trump.

Huh, nobody anybody? Nah crap, He tried to get that going at the end. That didn't catch on.

Yeah, sorry, Bob. He does.

His argument that he was making back when he was still in the courtroom and is pretty decent, is there's a lot of people getting a lot of stuff from a lot of places and getting rich here in Washington, DC, that are you living way beyond their salaries? Explain? And maybe I went this is what he should have said. Maybe I went farther than they did, but we ought to to figure out what the lines are and this stuff because I know a lot of rich people in government.

You know, it's funny you should bring that up.

I was just the topic of sugar and high fruit tooks, corn syrups came up yesterday, will come up again today. And I'm fairly aware of the sugar lobby and all that they have done through the years and all the money that has flowed to the absolutely critical American sugar industry. And those guys they get like a trailer truck full of gold bars. They're like, we've been handing these out since like nineteen forty five, Right, is this not good now? Or what somebody's gonna tell me the rules?

Oh yeah?

Or Google for instance, probably going you know, oh yeah, they've spent one hundred and forty five million dollars on lobbying.

Wink wink, Yeah, funny.

It's kind of like we always talk about busting hookers and cities. Every once in a while, you got to bust a couple to show the blue hairs that you're trying, but then you go back to letting it go because it's going to go everywhere.

It's probably what they're doing there.

Every once in a while, you got to bust a congress person claim your keeping an eye on corruption. Well my theory of it, and I'm pretty sure I'm right. If you disagree, I would love to hear your thoughts. Mail Bag and armstrung and giddy dot com. They bust people occasionally doing eighty five miles per hour to make sure nobody's doing ninety five right, well, exactly right. Token enforcement to put the seat of doubt into would be criminals heads.

But going seventy five and getting moderately rich throughout your career in ways that most people wouldn't think was cool, Biden, nobody's even looking at that.

Let's start show officially. I'm Jack Armstrong, He's Joe Getty on his Thursday. We're running out of January here, people, your dry January is almost over. Oh my god, it's going to be a big egg xcept like party this weekend. I'll tell you, Oh, you're twenty twenty five, we're Armstrong and getting We approve of this program. All right, let's begin then officially lining up for duty, snapping to attention at mark.

One of the dumbest phrases in military history is our diversity is our strength. Our diversity is not our strength. Our unity and our shared purpose is our strength. And the Pentagon is excited to get back to that core mission.

It's happening rapidly.

The services are responding and those that don't want to respond can work somewhere else. So diversity, equity, inclusion will not be a part of the Defense Department.

Not a minute long wow.

It's like I got a pointed Secretary of Defense, which would be a mistake.

It's great. It's like we're listening to our show coming out of the sect death. I love it.

I feel like Pete Hegseth has listened to the Armstrong and Getty show because I've heard those first phrase out of your mouth.

I don't know how many times. Diversity is not our strength. Unity is our strength.

Right, Diversity is fine, it's interesting, but no unity is utterly in dispensing that is maybe the dumbest phrase of all time. Diversity is our strength. It's just dumb, and it may be the perfect illustration of the greeting card style.

Vaguely, you know, how would you describe it. It's kind of.

Vaguely uplifting statement that even the most basic examination of it falsifies it. But if it sounds good and it makes you feel good to say, people say it and they believe it, and they preach it as if it's truth. So we've been watching it for decades.

Now we got more to say about that, and a whole bunch of other stuff. And now that we know where life came from, everything is different. How does mailbag look? Oh, it's fine, finding the handy. Can't wait, col.

That's on the way.

Here's our text line four one, five, two nine five KFDC.

Clear skies around Reagan Airport last night.

Even so, a black Hawk helicopter crashed into a commercial plane.

Sixty some people are dead. More on that coming up. How the heck does that happen with some of the most trained people in the world. Mistakes happen, I guess.

And some of the most controlled carefully dealt with airspace in the world. Right, terrible, terrible tragedy and incredibly rare. Thankfully, here's your freedom woman Caught of the day, going way back giving up from a man Heracleitus.

It was some sort of guessing Greek philosopher Colman leader. His name is Cletus.

Uh, Heraclitis is probably Heraclitis.

I'll have to look up who he was exactly.

But this is believed to be the oldest incarnation of a very well known phrase slash concept.

There is nothing permanent except to change.

Hmmm, yeah, somebody who was probably saying that outside a cave a million years ago.

So that thought has been around for a long time, right. One of your younger cavemen is ugan around saying, hey, there's no wild beasts this year. There were wilde beests last year.

And the old grizzled caveman said, dude, the one thing you can count on is changed. Although did people know that pre the ability to have written history Because everything was new all the time and nobody's writing anything down, you didn't know what happened a generation before years unless people were telling stories. I guess oral history was the

Of his life. Now just turned forty, and that's supposed to make me feel good?

Or he mopes when you're off on vacations and holidays, loves laughing along with you every day during his daily driving, and is a third generation conservative Portlander.

I think you keep him sane.

Wow, he mopes when we're on vacation. Coincidence, we mope when we come back. Then she says some very very nice things and she's a daily listener to keep it up for all of us living in the.

Progressive Portland public. You know, it's funny how often.

When people find out what I do and where the show started and where it's big and the rest of it, they're like they're shocked that in some of the blue areas of the country a conservative radio show would do well, and I have to explain to them, and it's fine that. Look, if your population is fifty five forty five liberal and conservative, that is a gigantic landslide every single election.

Yeah, surely.

And that's seen those maps of what counties voted Trump. It's almost entirely red clear across the country, including New York and California. And yet people in blue cities, blue states are entirely unrepresented by their governments, and and they're they're constantly browbeaten by their woke coworkers and relatives and

Like it.

I like that that.

That's a nice story. I don't need to be reminded that I turned seventy six this next birthday.

It's not hope checking the calendar. I don't believe that's correct.

Let's see, this is from Drew the Millennial. Always nice to hear from Drew. Jack has a fundamental misunderstanding of what a dad joke at is. It's not that you're dumb or unfunny. It refers to a joke that's cheesy, er trite, typically delivered with the intention of mildly embarrassing and or annoying your children.

Okay, does anybody ever do that with moms? I don't think so. You know what you were ranting about that I just got out of your way. I don't agree.

I think it refers to the sort of family friendly joke that a dad tends to tell that seems less sophisticated as you get older.

Well, I read dad is dumb. Dad joke means dumb joke, but at least then the way that my kids seem to present it.

Coming up, we'll talk about persecution complexes. Well, no, if your kids present it that way, then that's your reality.

I get that.

Oh, we don't have time for a really interesting food dye email about a family the limited eliminated food die from their kids' diets and saw great results.

They think the.

Persecution complex You're gonna tell me the prevailing culture is not the dads are dumb and boons.

I mean it is.

I and several emailers have never seen dad jokes as part of that, right, we got more news of the day on the way. There's always plenty and more hearings today, which is exciting, isn't it?

Stick around Armstrong and Getty.

CBS announced yesterday it's launched a pilot program at three New York City locations that allows customers to use the pharmacy chain's app to unlock storrege security cabinets. It was either that or hire a single employee.

That's a pretty funny joke. I know the CVS near my house. It is as if no one works there. Yeah, it's the only store I've ever been to where like you get your stuff and you head up toward the front and like are you open or those are a fire?

I mean, where is everybody? There's no there.

I realized this has been a joke so long it's half a cliche. But holy cow, your big box hardware stores. I mean, back when those jokes came to be, they had twice the workforce that they do now. It's unbelievable about a wander for ten minutes to find.

Somebody on CBS.

I meant to get to this a couple of weeks ago when it came out and I think it's CBS. It could be Walgreens. It's the same diff either way.

You know, don't buy or sell stock based on what I'm about to say because I have the wrong company.

But it might be CVS anyway.

Both of them have closed a bunch of stores clear across the country for lots of reasons, lots of them obvious, and the CEO announced we were starting to realize that locking everything up is actually hurting business, that people are deciding not to shop here because it's too cumbersome. Yes, that is absolutely true, or they don't buy certain things. I'll go into CVS and I'll get you know, I'll bar soap, kids need shampoo. I don't have a hairvariety of other things I need. It's to CVS. And then

Well, and if you don't dry shave with a steak knife like I do, why don't you wear a bra? Come on? Of course, not like a man does. I don't know what the right metaphor is.

There's an old time he's saying for this sort of thing where we're picking on the caboose and we should have the engine or something. The problem is not really that people are buying less because stuff is locked up.

The problem is I have to lock stuff up because there's so much crime. When all of our entire existences things weren't locked up and it seemed to work just fine. That doesn't seem to be a deal. Well, yeah, and I find I'm trying to do the math, but I've run in my own you know, disagreement.

But here's what I was thinking.

If I'm running Joe's drug Stores nationwide chain, we're known for our surly pharmacists.

Anyway, it hurts when I do this. What aisle should I get that in? Yeah? Quit doing that? And then you say walk this way? And then isay right? Anyway?

Ah? If if Joe's Nationwide drug Stores we invested in two burly dudes, well trained, carefully hired.

Anybody tries to steal from us.

We're putting you down right, They're gonna grab you by the head and another guy by the head and crack your heads together like it's the Three Stooges or something. I gotta believe that would cost a hell of a lot less than they're rampant shoplifting.

Here's the problem you run into.

We live in a society where said scumbag stealing further living and they're not looting it back. And it's not because the deck was stacked against them or the patriarchy or white supremacies, because they're friggin' thieves who have existed

Sorry about the ass whooping, Do I not the least bit? Sorry? Quit?

Hey, stealing equals ass whoopings. That'll be the big sign right there. Not shoplifters will be prosecuted under code four oh three C. No, it's gonna say steal an equals ass whooping. So your slogan isn't gonna be your health today or something like that. It's gonna be stealing equals ass whooping. Our slogan's gonna be our stuff is on shelves like normal stores, right, like it has been for all of history. Will it ever go back? And I was thinking it wouldn't. I thought this is gonna be

Can't do that now they're all locked behind glass, which is just horrifying.

Yeah, speaking of the lego age, my daughter took me to the Barnes and Noble not long ago and showed me the adult legos, not pornography, adult like a bouquet of flowers and stuff like that.

I mean, really intricated as wild. It's crazy.

I didn't know that I should specify with legos because for a lot of people, the age of legos is you're twenty eight years old, a man without a girlfriend, living in your parents' basement.

There.

That's a little judgmental.

Yeah, definitely, damn right it is. So here is the problem, and it's a big problem. Although it's easy to understand. The umbrella problem is that we have a society that, in half a dozen important ways tolerates crime out of bizarre and misguided beliefs that I'm hoping have maybe crested. I don't know, but it occurs to me the reason Saudi Arabia chops off the hand of thieves just because they like hand chopping, or that they're you know, living in the year eight hundred and stuff, which all of

Now do you have to try not to? You know?

He even when a horse thief is getting hanged or a thief's getting his arm chopped off.

Yeah, that's it's really gross. But there's a balance. I don't know if we've absolutely let our society get out of balance.

Yeah, I don't know how long this will be around culturally, although if the punishment's strong enough, you'll get your act together, I suppose.

But my.

Youngest talks about because he goes to the dollar store a lot. For some reason, he likes the dollar store.

There's a group of kids that come in there and steal all the time, and he sees them and nobody does anything about that, and they just think it's hilarious and they go in there and they steal stuff, and you know, that's been okay for most of their lives. So I don't know that will ever change, Although, like you said, if the penalties get high enough, you'll you'll correct be your behavior or go to jail.

Oh Joe's dying.

It's a guy who just poured hot coffee directly down his windpipe.

I agree with you.

Comply, We'll let Joe recover because I need to ask Katie before we take a So you're gonna be able to do your headlines today. You were sick yesterday because food poisoning, food poisoning, and do you know what you ate?

I do? It was a pre cooked chicken breast because I was being lazy and didn't want to make the chicken for my salad, so I bought it and paid for it in ways I don't.

Care to talk about.

And it had gone funky, you think at the store, like when I bought the grocery store sushi.

Well, it must have because the date on it was still fine. So I actually called the store and said, hey, just a heads up, you might want to take these off the shelves because the date was for today.

So they were still on the shelves yesterday.

This eighty four day month can end now, Okay, we have two days left.

You haven't haven't enjoyed January? No, No, I'm convinced it's out to kill me.

So funky funky chicken. Yes, we know Katie sounds hot. You don't have to let us know. She's in another studio owner having some funky funk a problem. Wow, she's gonna vomit all over the place, and I don't want her in the same room as right.

Disgusting.

Another news story we're gonna get to a little bit later. The national school proficiency scores are out. You can go state by state, I think county by county if you want to to see how proficient your school is, and not a surprising headline all across the country. One, kids are not catching up from COVID. I think we had that headline the other day.

And two as before COVID, we're not really doing that well hardly anywhere in terms of reading and math proficiency. Why this isn't a bigger crisis, I don't know.

You would think if, like wherever you live, only a third of the kids can read and do math at the very low level we've decided to be proficient, you'd think that'd.

Be a big deal. But it's not for some reason.

I think part of that reason is a significant chunk of the electorate on the left is convinced that everything else that's happening at schools is a wonderful thing, and those of us who think focus on core instruction for the kids reading, writing, arithmetic, and history period have been shouted down in recent years, and there are giant, powerful unions that the disagree with.

That point of view.

I just expressed, fewer Pride assemblies, more math assemblies or reading assemblies, seems like it would be a good idea. But we got We'll get into those proficiency scores and other things a little bit later.

We've got Katie's headlines on the way. Stay here, so I know.

We got day two of the RFK junior hearings. Is it the same senators they got to finish offer. Are they going to the House now or a different committee here?

I don't know. I just think it's more drillings by the same committee. I could google it, but it doesn't matter enough to me.

But we're gonna have some of the highlights from yesterday in our two if you haven't heard them, and it's pretty interesting conversation starters, no doubt, including the bombshell revelation that's take in his nomination.

Listen to me, I'm rapping and it wasn't the thing with the dead bear. Stay with us.

Mark Awprin does a good job of counting because he did in contact with these people. There are not currently fifty yeses to confirm him, but there are not fifty no's to keep him out, so he still could get confirmed.

Plus the outrageous statements that cause the abatements. Stay with us. Wow. Wow. At the top of my head, Hey, let's figure out who's reporting what.

It's the lead story with Katie Green, Katie, thank you guys.

Starting with NBC. All passengers confirmed dead after American Eagle jet and Army helicopter collide and crash.

Yeah, no longer a rescue operation of any kind.

We received a note from an airline pilot who had a very similar incident many many years ago, and he said what happened was the helicopter pilot, in a fairly tightly controlled space inexplicably went east instead of northway he was supposed to go, and there was a very near collision.

And it can happen very quickly.

From the New York Times, three contentious Trump nominees will appear before the Senate today, and it's Kennedy, Patel, and.

Gabbard all today. M hmm.

Here are my predictions. Kennedy barely gets through. Tulsey no way, third, and I'll break that down later. Cash Patel will get through. He made a statement that he will appoint as his deputies highly experienced FBI agents who know the workings of the agency and can make up for any unfamiliarity he has with it.

I think he well, that goes through solidly.

That takes care of the inexperienced problem. What about the I'm going to be there for Trump for retribution? Is he going to walk that stuff back?

Yeah? He will.

In fact, I expect him, based on other things he said, I expect him to say. Look, I engaged in a hyperbole as part of the political discussion. It's kind of the way of the world these days, especially online.

Here's what I actually think. From the Washington Post.

The Moss releases eight hostages from Gaza.

Strip in cease fire deals progress.

From ABC quote Trump is right, former Senator Menendez speaks after eleven year sentence is handed down.

Yeah, he tried to turn it. The Trump is right. The deep state is out to get good people like me and Trump trying to get a little magelove. But I don't think it's working.

Surprised he didn't show up in court with a maga hat.

Right from USA today, post pandemic nosedive student test scores are raising alarms among parents and teachers.

I hope, I would hope.

Good Lord, is it possible that America will will finally figure out a lot of us have?

I know, but what an utter outrage it was to keep the schools closed as long as we did.

I mean, to keep them close more than a couple of months in twenty twenty was an outrage as the science was becoming clear even then. And it's about the teachers' unions and Randy Wingarten and the rest of it. That reckoning must take place so we don't do it again. It might be the worst thing our government's ever done. It's certainly in that top group. I would agree one hundred percent.

From NPR, Meta agrees to pay Trump twenty five million dollars to settle lawsuit over Facebook and Instagram suspension.

How about that Zuckerberg's gonna pay twenty five million dollars. I guess we probably shouldn't have kicked you off Facebook because we didn't like what you said, so sorry. Yeah, that's an interesting dime emic after Marky Boy just wrote a huge check for the inauguration and now their buddy buddy and he's going on Rogan. But you got to keep in mind that twenty five million dollars is like couch change at Meta Dah curly Hair don't care.

From Bloomberg Microsoft if deep Seek linked group improperly obtained open AI data, Yeah, I heard.

Maybe my favorite writing about the new Chinese artificial intelligence app was they stole everything. It's not the same story that they caught up to us by stealing everything. It's still troubling that they've got it, but it's not the same thing as they organically passed us.

They stole everything.

China is the greatest thief in the history of mankind. So if they inexplicably end up with something we didn't think they had, how do you think they got it? Right?

From the Hollywood Reporter, AI commercials are going.

To take over the Super Bowl this year.

Ah, lasting it will be interesting.

I don't know exactly what that means promoting as already put out a big AI commercial.

You've probably seen it It's.

Like a weirdly perfect town with a weirdly perfect coke truck driving in front of the weirdly perfect children with their weirdly perfect smiles and the weirdly perfects.

I know they need to fix that.

I now feel like I can absolutely identify AI created people.

They're too something. Well, they're all perfect.

The only thing they have it perfected are the hands. Still they all have like eight.

Fingers on one hand.

From the New York Post, Americans are saying no to sex like never before, with young men leading the depressing trend.

That's from what the New York Post. Okay, I'll have to look at that.

Yeah, as we've been discussing, now, could there be any greater sign of the ill health of a society? God, I'd say, when young men no longer have interest in sex? How's that even possible? I got to shoot my way out of a concrete bunker when I was twenty five. Now twenty five year olds are like, eh, I'd rather just stay home and watch Netflix. There's too much trouble. Yeah.

Wait, your meme of the day, it's a picture of Trump. He's dressed like a mobster. He just looks like a total badass, and he's standing in front of the border wall and behind him there's a sign that just says fa f o y.

Yeah.

My favorite part about my favorite part about this is that.

Trump posted it.

Oh boy, wow, President of the United States posted f around and find out Wow.

Yeah. I love this on a couple of levels.

And it's born out by the fact that and I've seen read a couple of different accounts of this. Culturally speaking, the word on the street south of the border is don't go in the doors are closed, don't even bother trying, which is what he's going for sure, that's good.

And finally, the Babylon b single men began dressing as illegal immigrants, hoping Christy.

Nom will detain them because she's hot. You see it, I do see that.

Yes, an attractive gal kind of flies to the face of the previous story though, where they're not interested in sex, so why would they bother?

Well, the few that are, apparently, we should talk about that.

All the federal employees in America getting a letter saying, you know, you quit, We'll pay you through September.

Just quit. We'd like you to quit.

I know people who've gotten that letter, and some of the highlights from the RFK Junior hearing, which are good.

We'll have that now or too.

If you missed the hour, get the podcast Armstrong and Getty on demand Armstrong and Getty