What the Hell Is That?

What the hell is that. It's one more thing, one more thing before we get to Katie, Katie the news lady, and her whatever she's going to tell us about. I just got a text from my son. He said, our inflatable jack o' lantern got away and was blowing down the street, so he had to run. Who he had to run and chase it and bring it back.

It's a nightmare.

It's twenty two feet high. It's pretty big. WHOA, yeah, that's ADFJ. It's a It's a giant inflatable jacke lanner. I suppose it really could only get so far away before it would deflate being unplugged.

That's why I was going to ask. It has one of those automatic fans, right.

Yeah, but it stays up for a little while. But you don't want to fly down the street and causing her wrecker. No, I think it could get damaged badly. Well, I don't care about that, but I don't want some card crash because your jacketl because my giant inflatable jack lantern is blowing down the street.

Boy, listen to you and a little latest. You got a twenty two foot jack lantern?

Did you say twenty two. Yeah, that's saffing. I know it is, but you're not worried about it.

It's begetting damaged. You just buy another one, like you're Jeff Bezos.

It was like eighty dollars.

It's not like a oh it's quested Chinese slave labor.

Yes, exactly. It's a statement piece, is what it is. It really really brings the yard together, if you know what I'm saying. All the other different things, like ghoules crawling up out of the ground because they were buried alive or whatever other joyous thing that we're portraying in our yard.

No, No, they were buried dead, but now they're alive again.

Is that what's going on?

Yeah?

And then the various skeletons. I guess people that died so long ago that their flesh has rotted completely off, but we've kept the bones for some reason.

All right, And again for some reason, now they are crawling out of the earth to afflict us or mean.

Or if you're like my neighbor, they're now doing yard work because they set them up with all of their lawn instruments out in front.

Oh yeah, that's a good one. Pretty funny. That's a good one. Jack, Do you have a fog machine. I've had one in the past. I don't. I don't know

Reminds me it's I saw a guy with a skeleton with wearing golf gear and a golf club in his hand on his front patio, and I thought, because I've got a skeleton one of my victims, we all know them, I've got to I've got I got an extra one. I really have to put that out front.

They're handy, they're a good time. It's worth spending a little more for the good ones. But they're they're fun. Boy.

As an empty nester with no kids trick or treating in my hood, Halloween means nothing to me. It doesn't exist.

Interesting.

Yes, it's disappointing.

I went into a spirit over the weekend and I don't I mean, and you can't put any of that stuff in your yard. If you have kids coming by, it would it would traumatize them.

Yeah, we were at one of the spirit stores too. They're pop up stores, I guess anyway, Uh, yeah, this stuff was way too gruesome and scary. The closest neighbors I've got to me where I live now are little kids, and they're they're so excited. They're like six and four. He's going to be the Mandalorian, so excited about it for your girls, a princess of some sort. But I don't want them to, you know, have nightmares.

No, you don't want your front yard to look like the battlefields of Ukraine. When the little kids are just wanting to, you know, where their costumes. That'll get some candy.

It shouldn't be Antietam at the end of the day. It should be more festive than that. Although Henry's big on we're going to give out full sized candy bars this year. We're going to be the legendary house. People are going to talk about it. So we're feeling handing out the full size you get an actual sninkers bar, like from the vending machine.

I had had out slips of paper that indicated what each child's share of the national debt is. To this point, you want to see something scary kids.

Take a look at that you don't understand compound interest. Okay, Katie, what's your story? Okay?

So over the weekend, I was having a blast. I was folding laundry and I had the TV going, and all of a sudden I heard this noise and I didn't know what it is. To note, I have one of those Alexa things in my house and it's been randomly going off at times, answering questions I didn't ask, and what not.

Right I had? That happened the other day. Yeah, We're sitting at dinner in my phone, all of a sudden, what was that? You said? What? Yeah?

I didn't eat right? So I turned the TV off and I waited, and about two minutes later it happened again. And Michael, could you play that that sounder for me?

And be forgotting about it?

Here we go.

Okay, so that was the noise?

WHOA, my good Lord.

I had forgotten that Hansen sent me the clip of Michaelangelo doing the exhale and scream, and I had changed it to the noise that my phone makes when he text messages me.

Oh that's fun. I shut my whole house down.

And then Michael, thank god you sent us like three text messages in a row to the group. So I kept hearing that, and I, oh, yeah.

If you didn't remember, you'd think the person trapped in your attic is trying to get out or something.

I'd have grabbed a gun. I'm not sure what was going on, but no one the pooh was about to hit the fan anyway.

That was it.

That just scared the absolute.

Shit out of me. And oh my god, there's somebody tied to the radiator in my basement the whole time I've lived here.

Oh wow, Now they're crawling up through the ground or something. I don't know.

That is like practically the most disturbing sound I can imagine. To not be able to identify and wonder what.

It was happening in the background where you know, you don't clearly hear it.

Oh yeah, it was. My phone was on the couch and I was kind of off in the dining room, so it just was coming from anywhere.

It's like a human in pain or something.

Something. The most disturbing sound I've ever dealt with when when we lived in our little rental house when we first moved to California.

I remember when you had a polder guy. She used to tell us about it every single we got a poulder guys in our house.

Now there are feral cats who lived in the bushes, and they would like be right below our window and they would be making sweet sweet cat love and the screams Katie.

They love each other.

This National Cat Day.

I am a practical man and not prone to superstition or anything like that. I would have testified that a woman was being victimized in the most terrible way right outside the window. It sounded precisely like a human woman crying in pain and terror.

And this would wake me up like three nights a week. Well, did you go out with a gun or do you just think good luck with that and go back to sleep. Well, no, I became aware that it was the freaking cat. I'd like pulled up the shades and looked out the window. Hey, what's going on in the cat screy way. I'm like, are you f a kidding? Un Oh my gosh, I know.

It's just terrible.

I don't think i've ever heard cats do it. Oh do cats do like trained domesticated cats sound like that when they make love or just feral cats.

I don't know if they were doing it wrong or doing it like really really right, but it.

Was, Oh, it was so we're just freaky had a. Yeah, they could be. They could be. Uh yeah, they're just not into vanilla sex, as they say in the Cats exactly.

Wow.

Wow ah, oh god, I can't believe I made that noise. I bet I could make it again if I wanted to, and I shouldn't know. Well, I guess that's it.