Trick or treat.
It's one more thing.
I'm shy, one more thing.
Before we talk a little Halloween. On this day before Halloween, came across this tweet, which I thought was funny.
This guy said, I live.
In constant fear that Trump will deport my Latina mother in law, who lives at eighteen thirty seven Third Street, Los Angeles, nine or zero two three, Blue house. She gets off work at six.
That's pretty funny.
That is really good.
So you see he doesn't like his mother in law. He would like her to be departed.
You know.
Okay, you got that.
His initial fear was actually a mask he was wearing.
Yeah, she was trying to He was trying to hype the fact that he doesn't even prefer his mother in law be around.
Good.
I'll know what I would do without you, guys, I do not understand the thing.
Oh yeah, we got something Halloween there, Michael. Before I saw Halloween.
Yeah, my wife and I Now, I like the regular trick or treating where you take kids to the houses, but we participated for the first time in what's called a trick or trunk sure, and that's very popular now, where a bunch of cars you open up your trunk, you fill it with candy and.
All all built over the completely manufacturer fake scare that has been going on for decades that it's too dangerous to go door to door. But anyway, so we are kind of curious.
So we went ahead and it was at our church, and so you know, it supposed to be a nice family event. What we found though, was it was amazing to us. You had the little kids that were really cute and it's just fun. But then there were some families where the adults are here to grab candy.
It was just it's amazing.
The number of people that they bring. A little kid is like they're helping. The adults are grabbing candy for themselves, and then they walk away and the little kids just with them, but really isn't getting the candy at all.
It is quite amazing. I've told the story of being at an ester a gun as a DJ many many times. I was the MC of the Seast eight Hunt and watching adults knock down little children to get candy. Candy is practically free, by.
The way, Yeah yeah, since it's a church event, i'd be forced to say, buy your own effing candy. Brother.
I had this conversation with.
You with a friend the other day about if you have trick or treaters, right, and you have the little kids that come up, say trick or treat, get the candy. But then what if you have the couple that brings their newborn that's dressed up.
Yeah, you just want candy?
Dude, aren't you a grown man?
Do you have a job right?
Can you give you any candy? You brought your baby along as a prop.
Pos weak ass? Yeah?
The truth is and a person must just accept this in craft a society around this, although progressives don't, is that a fair percentage of people will do the wrong thing on a consistent basis. You cannot trust people to try hard to take care of themselves to do the right thing. They just won't. There are a thousand examples of it, and they're highly annoying.
But you just have to accept it.
When did the we talked about this a lot at the time, when did the trunk or treat thing take off? It's fine, and I've done it before and it's it's good, but I just remember how it was born. I remember it was born of it's too dangerous to go up to strangers doors in modern America.
So we too.
Now we meet it and you know, have all our.
Cars, they might get a hit, a crack or a razor blade.
So it said we have them go up to strangers cars to get candy.
This seems like a worse concept.
Trunk We're all you got to do is put a bag over the head, put them in the trunk with a done deal.
No, it's generally it like a group.
It's a church or whatever. And the the idea is we've had people right in and say, no, it's nice because we all get together with our friends and the kids play and we know where they are and we all hang out and talk with our friends, which is fine. But it was born of paranoia, just ridiculous paranoia in the early days of the Internet and people waking up in bath tubs with the ice and the note saying your kidneys have been harvested. It was born right around the same time.
I kept thinking about what Jack said, though you have to charge a certain amount to get the run as.
All it takes.
I've seen it in action. A one dollar charge will make a festival so much cleaner and nicer than a free festival.
It's just true. It doesn't take much to eliminate that crowd.
Speaking of prices, the consumer price index for candy and chewing gum is up twenty two percent since Biden took office nearly four years ago. That's more than twice the cumulative inflation during Trump's presidency. Twenty two percent more for your candy and gum. That's Joe Biden's America.
It is more expensive, but having purchased candy at the story the other day, it is still practically free to buy way more candy than you could ever eat in your lif lifetime.
It's practically free plus twenty two percent. Rich Man, it's amazing what a giant bag of crap costs, not that much.
I feel like the of course this is probably true. Obviously this is true. Shrink Flation has hit the mini candies because they're smaller now than they even were before. They're almost to the point of absurdity. Mike, then it is, yes, micro candies.
The internet went nuts yesterday or the day before because a woman got those miniature quote unquote fun sized bags of Eminem's, and she's so fun. She opened one and there was one Eminem in the Oh boy, that's not fun.
It is no funny.
It is about to say. I was looking at these kitcats where I think the energy to unwrap the tinfoil would burn more calories than the candy bar. So maybe it's a win wall.
If you unwrap your M and MS and you have an M in there. That was the heartbeat they it's it's hard to justify it, like the packaging. We're going through the trouble of buying it and transporting it to them from the store. What have I What are we doing?
That's funny.
I hadn't even noticed it till now. How tiny the new bite size, fund size whatever they whatever lie they call it, How tiny they are. I'll have to I'll have to do that. Take some pictures at home, like next to a coin or something to give you some perspective.
Look, there.
Ought to be a bust on Madison Avenue for the guy who cooked up the name fund size. Right, Hey, what do we what do we call these little candy bars? We're gonna we're gonna charge actually per ounce fifty percent more. But anybody got an idea? Yeah, a small sized diet? No, no, no, that's all negative. Give me something positive.
Fun size? Do you expect trigger treats where you live, Katie, Yes, lots of them.
What kind of candy you got?
I actually have not gotten it yet. What will you get?
Oh, I'm thinking of sticking with chocolate this year because I don't know, I don't like them, Like in what form do you ladle it out of a pot?
Or Yes, I'm gonna have a fondue fountain, Jack, Yes, that'd be funny.
Have the fountain and the fruit, and the kids can stick their fruit in the fountain and have a couple of bites.
For the one skewer per child.
I'm thinking like the Snickers and the Reeses and all the stuff that I like, so that I can eat it after and we don't give it all away.
Give the full sized candy bar.
Yeah, there's a right house. Henry was big on we're going to do full size. We're gonna go legend.
That's what he said. We're gonna go legend. Yeah, we get it. You're rich, very good, Jack.
I'm gonna have like six trigger treaders, I'm sure. And I don't I want the candy gone. I don't want it around the house. I want it gone. Last kid of the night. You get your basket completely full of whatever I got left.
No one has.
But there's no blanket way. I give out the full sized candy bars. And I'll tell you why, because those kids haven't earned it. It's the redistribution of candy. It ran forces socialist impulses. The free market is how you get candy?
What if I have them entertain me for a few minutes? Can you dance or something or sing?
You know what you can? I have a pull up bar at his front door.
Right, I am the Ron Swanson of holidays, Halloween houses. Yeah, that's right.
The joy I used to get from getting candy as a little kid, I barely remember it, but I remember it was joyful. I remember it was very, very exciting because I never was around candy that quantity before. I think my kids are around so much candy. I'm candy. I'm surprised leaves a mark with them.
Really.
I remember, like my last my last year of trick or treating was one pillowcases got cool. Everybody had their pillowcase to fill up.
There you go. I liked the idea of making them dance, dance, dance for me. I watched for a second. Nope, close the door.
I got it. You look at the bar.
If it's fifty calories, they got to burn fifty calories before you they can eat it.
I've a net zero calorie policy. Put them on a treadmill, right, little ghost.
As soon as the thing on the treadmill says you've hit fifty calories behind you in the candy bar, there you go on.
Happy Halloween kid.
The dance not good enough. You can do, you can do.
Come on, you can do better than that.
You'd call that dancing Nope slam.
All right, kid, make sure you stretch before you go to Joe Getty's house. Well, I guess that's it.