The A&G Replay Thursday Hour Three

Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln Radio Studio, the George Washington Broadcast Center.

Jack Armstrong's Joe Getty arm.

Strong and Gatty and he Armstrong and Getty Strong.

Hey, I'm Strong and Getty. We're featuring our podcast One More Thing. Find it wherever you find all your podcasts.

So I came across this in the Washington Post about Swedish death claiming kind of sort of. It's a variation on this theme that we've heard from like what's her face?

The Marie Condo lady, remember her? That was all.

About you know, hold everything in your hand and if you don't cherish it, get rid of it. Neatness, your home should be neat all the time. Blah blah blah. Then she had a kid and said, yeah, f this.

Yeah, that's the best part of that story is she was tight clutter and how and then then she had kids and decided, yeah, you can't.

You can't keep up with this. It's impossible.

Yeah, all that stuff I said before, forget it anyway. So this story opens up is all stories must with this lady whose mom passed away, one bedroom apartment, mostly clean and tidy.

Uh.

So we thought it'd be manageable. When she passed, we were wrong. And then they get into the racks and racks of clothes, many unworn in years, kitchen cabinets stocked, stacked with pots and plastic storage containers, bulk orders of tissues and hot sauce. Each item on its own wasn't unreasonable, but the aggregate proved overwhelming. For several painful weeks, we gave things away, sometimes with labels still on them. During your garage sale, pill carted off thousands of dollars in goods.

I believe that.

I hope I am not my stuff. Looking at my garage, I'm a mess. Examples I have just so much crap.

Just just get a rap. Yeah, I'm a bit of a hoarder and it's weird.

I don't think I am you actually you like horde stuff? No, a bit of a hoarder. I have clothes I don't wear. I'm probably almost certainly not going to wear, but I don't get rid of them. I feel this, I feel this pain getting rid of them.

I don't. Yeah, I don't think I have that.

I have a There's probably in that big closet full of clothes. Some I do want to keep. I'm not going to go through them all, so I just keep them all. Are those boxes in the garage, there's some stuff in there I don't want to throw out all.

I'll do cleaning and I'll find myself almost feeling an emotional attachment to maybe the memory that that T shirt has, like a band T shirt or something from a show, or I'll get frustrated with myself with a certain item and going, Kate, you don't need to keep this. It is, yeah, totally irrelevant, but it was attached to something I did.

This is probably universal. But the really tough ones are kids stuff. I mean, you can't keep every clothing item, every kit you kid ever had, or book or toy, but god dang it, throwing some of that.

Stuff out seems like just wrong. How do I get rid of this book.

That I read to my kids every night for years during the greatest moments.

I can't keep them all. I don't need eighty books eight weeks.

We kept a bunch, you know, assuming nieces and nephews and grandkids or whatever would be in the picture eventually, and have given some way to other parents because that feels good.

The clothes.

I see a T shirt and I think, oh, I remember when Sam would wear this.

But I can't keep all the shirts.

Well, there are so many memories that they trigger. I get that, but that's defensible to me. Some shirt that I'm just not gonna wear probably it's just weird. I think I've always thought it's probably because you know, I didn't grow up poor, but we were far from rich, and you know, I was wearing hand me downs and stuff, and the idea of a nice new shirt was like really really cool, And so it's hard for me to I don't know anyway.

There's a and pain in knowing you paid fifty bucks for something and now it's worthless. That is also something going on in your brain.

Yeah, that's funny.

I don't really that doesn't bother me as much. I don't think I bought this shirt and while I'm going to give it away. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.

I realized.

Then they go into each product we buy on average accounts for roughly six point three times it's weight in carbon emissions whatever. Yeah, I really don't give a shout off.

I had to go there.

Yeah yeah, okay, So onto Swedish death cleaning or durstyaming. I don't even know what that letter is, much less how to say it.

It's it's it isn't about clearing out closet.

It's about it's about rethinking your relationships with things rather than making do with less it's about getting more from the things that make you happy.

I had a buddy who is so good at this with clothes, Like when we were in college. I had a closet full of clothes that I was never gonna wear again that had been toting around, and he was good, like, these are the two pairs of pants I'm going to wear this summer. These are the three cool shirts I like? Is it?

He got rid of everybody else and he was Wow, I wish I could do that.

So death cleaning happens to agree with scientists understanding of our relationship with things and why we're loathed to part with them. Decades of research have shown that we subconsciously see our possessions as physical extensions of ourselves. Losing them feels like an amputation because in our minds it is we're attached to our belongings because we identify them, says researcher in Dublin. This conveer into pathologies such as hoarding.

Wow, now that's pathological.

Instead of our possessions offering quote a vital receptacle for our memories and identities, researchers say they become a fortress, physical barriers to ward off feelings of insecurity and loneliness.

Wow. Yes, this is crazy.

I don't doubt some of this. I think my problem is mostly laziness. It's well or not laziness. Some laziness.

Well, you're crazy busy. Yeah, I'm too busy to go.

Through a bunch of boxes in my garage to see what I want to throw out or not.

That's what's slowing me down. Have you ever watched the show Hoarders?

Oh yeah, yeah, there's a clear line between what we're talking about and them.

Right, But the way that they their emotions spikes so much when they do try to get rid of things, it's I mean, that's that's absolutely mental.

My youngest kid has a little bit of that. He's definitely got more of that than that is good. He just ah, his attachment to some things is.

A little scary. Wow.

Well, I'm glad you're all enjoying this as I psychoanalyze myself because this is crazy. His research this is the guy we decided earlier shows that materialism, a tendency to seek out possessions for status or approval, is unequivocally associated with more loneliness and less happiness. But not all possessions are equal. Things required for their beauty, utility, or their association with positive experiences and social relationships don't show the

Seasons? It's a good description of.

What it is like to a massive bunch of stuff and not really appreciate it. Okay, so start with the easy stuff. Begin with large or duplicate items first, then finish with the small and sentimental clothes. They are an excellent place to start, since many of them have little practical or sentimental use. Photographs, personal papers, and letters are the hardest to clear out.

I've got, like my sock drawer has got I don't know how many pairs of socks are in there, thirty pairs of socks I wear the same, ten pair on top, the bottom twenty pair I never wear, and I'm never going to wear because of the style or color or the worn out or whatever.

Why don't I throw those out?

I have enough socks, including the other day I was asking Jack about what length socks somebody was wearing, and you reacted as if I was some sort of suck connoisseur to have different lengths.

You're a sock samall, ye, yeah, in a way.

Yeah, So I've got the no shows, I've got the ankle, I've got the MidCap, et cetera. I have enough socks that if our washing machine broke down, never mind that if it were outlawed, I would not have to wear a dirty pair of socks for.

Three and a half months. That's a lot of socks.

Maybe more, that'd be a hundred pair of socks something like that.

Wow, that's a lot of socks. I thought. I haven't any.

Multiple drawers with socks. I got white socks. I got no shows, like to play golf in to minimize my weird golf ten what your son charmingly refers to as Morgan feet.

It's a good term. Then I have a drawer full.

Of black and like uh black and dark blue athletic socks.

Then I've got my dress socks.

Then I've got my like wooly winter socks for when we had our mountain place being up in the snow a lot. We aren't anymore. Yeah, I have I have enough socks to wear for many months.

Gosh, getting those to match up when doing the laundry must just be infuriating.

All socks, Yeah, except you know, as Jack indicates, in the space of two weeks, I wear two weeks worth of socks.

So it's not that many.

And again, it's inexplicable to have as many socks as I have since we have a functioning la washer and dryer.

Are you emotionally attached to them?

No, No, it's like good because that would be weird.

That would be very weird. No, there sucks. I'm not crazy, but there is a weird. It's a difficult impulse to explain. It's like an I might need this, or I might wish I had this, and I don't know where it comes from.

Again, I did not grow up in North Korea.

I did not fight my brother to the death for a grain of the rice or one sock.

Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I honestly don't understand it.

Hey, when you match up your socks, you do what I do, And if the colors are close enough, you know, if they're dark blue or black, you just put them together.

No, I'm not, because I'm not a psychopath. That's fair.

No, I mean usually I do the exact same color. But if they're you know they've been one's been washed more than the other, one looks a little lighter than.

You would, one get washed more than the other.

Yeah, you're talking nonsense.

What you're doing is putting mismatch socks together and calling them a match.

They're not.

All right.

It's like I won't call a.

Man a woman. I will not call a navy blue sock a black sock because I'm not a liar. How many bodies dissolving?

And how many barrels do you have in your garage because that's the work of the psychopath putting mismatched socks together.

Boy.

But so, whatever the weird name is of this thing you're talking about, the death cleaning or whatever, is it basically the idea that you got to be ruthless and just get rid of stuff you don't need.

Hmmm, it's not ruthless exactly. They talk about. God, I would love to do that.

It's so relaxing for me to even think about doing that, like getting rid of all the stuff in my closet. I never wear everything in the drawers, I don't use anymore, everything in the closets that we never use. Oh, it just oh, it fills me with relaxation, happy chemicals.

Yet I would agree, I would agree, but I do do it, and it's an excuse to go buy new stuff. And they suggest it's not being ruthless. It's being thoughtful Before bringing something into my home. I now think about it's fate. This person writes, how will I feel living with it?

Well? Someone else ever want it? Is it worth it?

By recognizing the stories I tell about my stuff, it has made it easier to let go of old things or avoid buying new ones without losing a bit of myself. I so need a shrink. Or wait a minute, No, you go to a shrink. All they do is give you drugs. So I so need drugs.

Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty. Armstrong and Getty show.

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So as a big hippie festival in middle of nowhere, Nevada.

I don't know that it's a hippie festival. It's a festival of living outside the riggers and bounds of everyday society, a chance to cut loose a little bit and relax in the desert with like minded fellows in Galos.

None of us have been, so you haven't been, Katie, I have not.

I wanted to go, but I've never made it, Michael, If I remember correctly, you'd never been to San Diego until fairly recently, so I don't think you've.

Been running man out of the question. I've been to the beach, but that's about it. I must stand up seeing.

I don't even like most camping because as a man who enjoys a cocktail before bed and buy a cocktail, well, I always have to get up and p in the middle of the night, and I'm afraid of being eating a bear.

Yeah.

I didn't know where you're going with that. I was gonna say, you enjoy cocktails, you don't like camping. Camping is always super heavy on the drinking. You start like really early and go all that. That's like the whole camping thing.

Well, right, most of my camping I needed to embrace the jug, but the p jug. But most of my camping experience was with my wife and kids, and that just didn't seem to be a good idea.

Peeing and a jug.

Yeah, but I remain uneaten by bears. So I guess it worked out all right.

Husband, Peede and a jug left it in my car found it this weekend.

That was a lot of fun. Oh you guys now TMI, really TM, Well, this.

Is a perfect place to tell this story. I got two good stories around this. So one, I'm driving from Charlotte, North Carolina, to Nashville to catch a concert and I don't and I'm running kind of late, and I need to pee and there's U and I don't want to pull over, and so I have a Gatorade bottle and I thought, you know what, I'm gonna pee in the gatorade bottle while I'm driving. And what I learned is the volume of urine that comes out of you is a lot more than you think it is, because the

It was horrible.

I'm so glad that's not the case anymore, because I remember how difficult that was.

Horrible.

We had pads all around the house. He was a pretty little kid. Pads all over the house could just for nervousness. He'd just have to pee, and so it's just anyway. So he I'd carry a bottle water bottles just like you drink out of in the car, and he'd pee in the water bottle all the time because I can't pull over every time. He needs a pea literally like every minute sometimes, so you can't go anywhere.

No, I thought that first story was terrible, and I took a big old gulp of old salty Oh, good morning. Yeah, that was rough.

When as soon as it took me like a half a second to realize, you know, you get hit with this isn't water, Then oh, I know what it is, and then just the revulsion at what it was.

We're all feeling it right now.

Got it took me a long time to stop spitting and rinsing out my mouth after that.

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By the way, Katie, I really like your t shirt.

Yeah, yeah, no it yeah no. So we got to talking on the radio show about the the editing of photos just in general, because cause so many people do it and it's so effortless. Now I don't have the Google phone, but I was just reading so the Wall Street Journal had an article, when is it okay to alter the family photo?

Who doesn't alter big family photos?

And if you didn't before the but I mean, like back in the old days when you'd go get a professional photo done and everything like that, they were altering them for you.

They were all brightening them up or list them or whatever.

And s every every group photo I take, I make sure everybody looks top notched because I don't want to hear it afterwards.

Oh yeah, why did.

You post that one? I look bad in that one? Oh no, I went through. I made my best effort to make all.

Of you look good.

So doing what For instance, sometimes someone's eyes will be closed, you can open them. Somebody's not smiling when they usually would, you can give them a smile.

What app or phone are you using to do that? Face tune? Face tune? Yeah?

So the Google picks thing. You've probably seen the ads. It looks fantastic. But they've got a thing called best take, where you do a blast of photos and then you can pick each individual face. This is the best one from this one. This is the best one in you know, in a group photo. That's which sounds like was more or less what they did there at Kensington.

Palace with the royal family.

I'm surprised they don't have more sophisticated software than they did well. According to their statement, Prince Will, I don't even hardly know these people's names, Prince Vine. Prince Will took the picture last week and Kate edited. Then she edited it. I guess like a lot of wives probably do if their husband takes a bad photo.

I don't know.

This whole thing is because there was a big conspiracy theory that she was dead after this abdominal surgery she had because she hadn't been seen in the public, and now they're trying to find any reason they can to keep that conspiracy alive.

I e.

They edited this photo and she's not really around or something.

That's what I've been reading.

Yeah, okay, that's that's That doesn't explain all of the coverage, but certainly some of it. Now I'm willing to concede that I may be an outlier in this stuff, you know, to Katie's point, I don't hang out with people who'd give a single crap. I mean, unless they're like I take a picture and in the background they're with their lover and their wife doesn't know about it.

They might be worried about that. But you certainly, yeah, they'd ask me to.

But I've just I'm now, if we're talking about bringing out a little contrast or something like that, a filter because it was a little bright there or something, I mean, that's just that's how you make decent looking photographs. But like slimming people and you know, give them a better smile or white in their teeth and stuff like that, I just I it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like it's divorcing reality from perception in a way that's unhealthy.

Do you ever do you ever slim people? Katie? No, No, that's not that's not cool.

But I see your point, Joe, as you're drawing the line basically at contrast and lighting, well, Joe's.

Drawing very bright lines between good people and bad people. So we got to figure out which end of the line we're all on. This must be what it's like to be in a hearing in Congress. So we need to find out which side of Joe's good people bad people line were on.

So you're okay with contrast and bright? We have a format? Okay, great?

But yes, are you okay with the You got a bunch of photos and you put the smile on everybody's best smile in the photo.

Are you okay with that or not?

It seems ridiculous to me, Although if each of those individual images existed, just not at the same time, I will allow it.

Like a fly lands on somebody's face and you make a weird face trying to get the fly off, and you're just gonna leave it like that, right guy?

Or here's here's a question.

What have you gained by and what have you lost by not including that image?

I don't know.

You are serving the idea of always looking unrealistically beautiful or or great, as opposed to capturing a moment where something really funny happened.

Well, speaking for myself, it's it's hard for me to wrap my head around this because I don't have the motivation, because I don't have any social media that I post pictures on so nobody ever sees them. Me and other people in my family. Sometimes me and the kids go through my phone. But so I'm not posting these for any stuff. So maybe I would be more motivated to if I posted these where anybody would see them.

But like I know someone.

Who who who clearly uses the thinning thing whenever they post pictures, because I see them on a regular basis, and I know that that's not what they look like. And one that I wonder about, I just.

Think that's fundamentally unhealthy. To thine own self be true is like my my guiding principle for every thing in life because and it's not I'm not coming off as high handed. I think I may be better than some people at least a recognizing my weaknesses and realizing you are really tempted to do that.

That's one of the.

Things you really need to be careful about. And one of them is you know, self delusion or you know, how how would I put this? And I'm more than willing to concede that I'm I may be an outlier and a little bit weird about this, and you live.

Your own life. I honestly don't care. I don't care enough.

About the way you live your life to judge you unless you're hurting other people. So don't take anything I say as some sort of like Jack trying to frame it as your exactly.

That's probably you know what, Honestly, that's probably a better way to frame this discussion. It's more entertaining. This is called Joe's the jerk. I just what are you doing?

Why are you doing that so people think you're better looking than you are?

Why for dating apps if you're single and you're dating. If I was doing that, and I've never done online dating and I'm never going to, but if I was, gott it be, I don't think I could stop myself from just slightly slimming your face. I mean, finely different questions.

It is a complete posting pictures of guys who weren't even me.

That is a completely different question though, although at a point though you're really misleading people. I mean, because I heard people talk about showing up to meet somebody and it's like you're the same person from that photo. Come on, yeah, I wouldn't want that. That would be hurtful. I wouldn't want I wouldn't want that myself. I don't want to meet somebody that I lured them in by making myself look different. They're like, whoa dude, how much time did

All right, here's the standard.

And Katie cannot come in on this because she's super pretty, like the best non retouched photo of you, because we all have them.

Wow, I look good in that pick. You know, that's as high as you can go.

That's as handsome or pretty or whatever that is.

WI If all you're doing is bringing the photo up to your best real photo, yes, that's not bad as a standard.

If you are exceeding the possibilities of a real photo of yourself, then you're doing things in your mind that are not healthy.

If you change it to something you've never actually looked that good, that that is a different category, unless again, you're trying to get.

Laid, then anything goes bebby. Here's a funny one.

I was disappointed that my Costco card expired because I had a great picture on my Costco card. It's like one of my better pictures of me ever for something.

I had a driver's license once, I looked like an action star.

Yes, my first driver's license was money.

It all came together.

I had a really good beard at that point, I looked at like a guy out of the movies. Who would you know? Is he turned out to be, you know, some sort of master criminal?

Oh so good?

You know you end up you know how if you end up in the news, the media grabs like your driver's license photo and that becomes the photo going everywhere. I've thought about that before if something happened, and now the current driver's license photo I have is just awful. I wish I could get a change. That would be the picture of what I look like for any story you want. You want it to be your Costco card photo?

Yes, yes, if you have to.

If something happens where I end up with the news, good or bad, use my Costco card.

You let your Crossco card expire? Yeah somehow?

Okay, So why don't we go through a checklist of different Go ahead, Michael, did you have more criticism?

I say, you know, do you let your kids starve too? That was ji? Yeah, a boy, That's what I was looking for us, That's what I was open.

For, Michael.

All right, So throw out scenarios and I'll rule whether they're okay. For instance, family picture, your kid has acne problems and is super sensitive about it.

M they're super sensitive about it.

That's different the family picture like the one that's gonna.

Go on the wall in the hallway, maybe a Christmas card.

See, I'd be okay with it, because that acne isn't forever. You're gonna grow up, and if they want that picture up the way, you know, then.

It is strictly speaking, a disease.

Yeah.

I realize that makes it sound more serious than it, but it can be very serious for people and the way they feel about themselves.

Certainly for my own personal use the pictures my phone. I've never altered my kids to make them look better ever, not one.

No, Yeah, I want to know what looks like right? Yeah? Me on the other hand, Hi, what do you want to do with me? Ever?

Using slimming software? Now, other than like for dating functions.

I never have for real, I don't think I ever would except for dating situations. But so you know, all of this is there are lots of gray areas you're I guess some men do this too, but women do it more. I think you're wearing some sort of slimming garment. How's that different if you're wearing a slimming garment under your dress at the wedding. Isn't that How's that different than if you use the photoshop to slim yourself a little bit?

Why?

Well, because it's it's possible in the real world.

So that's your standard again, is if you could get yourself to look like that in the real world.

You know, it's funny between the radio show and recording this, I went and got some more ice water from the kitchen and just everybody's getting ready and all right, let's go do the podcast.

I've been thinking hard about all.

The things we've talked about today, and I've got to form it all into a unified philosophy. And it's going to be something like I'm a realistarian or something like that, because the only thing that's going to keep me from becoming like an angry nihilist, because I think the artificial world, the virtual world, is incredibly unhealthy and is drawing humanity and individual people into just terrible psychological places and addictions and self hatred and suicide and depression and anxiety. I

Yeah, I wonder wonderful that'll happen for anybody on the younger end, though, like Katie, you're younger, so wouldn't smartphones come out You're a kid, probably when.

I was in high school graduating.

If you're if you're a young person, especially women, But if you if you've never lived in a world where you couldn't easily manipulate your photos and make yourself a better, look better, how would you ever Not To answer your question, which I think is a really interesting one, whether young people will you know, go along with what I'm talking about or ever get a chance to the answer is clearly, yes, one hundred percent.

Yes.

The question is how many I read something interesting the other day, twenty somethings who've jettison TikTok and other social media, and how happy they are. Now, that's not like seventy million in the United States, but it's thousands. And just like you know, whether you want to cite Christianity or healthy eating or regular exercise or whatever, just because most people aren't is not a good reason to stop advocating advocating for what's good and what's healthy. If I'm the

I was just singing for young people altering their photos, One they will have always had that in their lives. And two you kind of always are on a dating app when you're It seems to me from observing social media for young people, your life is a dating app.

It's an interesting point. Yeah, So the point.

You're going to be adjusting your phone, I mean, how you couldn't have stopped me and like if I hit we're in high school now from altering my photos to make myself look better?

Are you kidding? Not a chance?

You couldn't stop me with a gun from altering my photos to make myself look better.

Yeah, yeah, it's a good point.

Oh wow, what if you had an uncle that had well, he was a pirate and he had a peg leg, would you no or put a different type of leg on there, like me herrot on his shoulder.

Well, of course it's an odd scenario. Michael.

What's your pirate uncle's name? It's hard for me to go forward without a name.

Art Oh god, oh boy, I'm really sorry about that.

Wow, I hurt brushing this out of the podcast.

I'm really sorry about that. Shiver me timbers. He gave me scurvy with that one. Okay, all right.

The Armstrong and Getty Show, Jack More Joe podcasts and our hot links.

Hey, it's the Armstrong and Getty Show featuring our podcast one more Thing.

We do a new one every day. Find it wherever you find your podcasts. Can I say this, Well, of course I can say this.

A friend who I work with, His wife is an obstetrician. The stories she has heard amaze and the tattoos she has seen, oh what, including one woman.

I think I can tell his story. I'm sure you can.

Should I though, oh Man's not want to get him in trust so we're talking about tattoos on the U.

Who oh my god, or in the you who will region The sympathy pain I'm feeling right now is.

Sign even without the pain, just as a lifestyle choice, right, and sometimes it's just in the suburbs, but not in the city center.

But uh, can I say this? You know what, I can't say it. I'm gonna make this up completely. This is Joe Getty lying and creating fiction that is in no way based on any truth ever spoken by anybody. One gal who is well on in years had a boxing glove to either side and the caption hit it like a champ.

Oh my god, it's like a champ.

So then you have to think as a dude or a woman. I guess if she's a lesbian. But your first you know, you become intimate after months of dating and courting and then of course marriage, you decide.

To decide you love each other very much.

You decide to become intimate, and this is the first time you become aware of your the love of your life.

Having it to doo, that's hit it like a champ. Unless that tattoo is like a week old. I'm gonna have questions. It's just reeks of class, you know. Yeah? What do am I?

Hm?

How disturbed am I at that point? Am I thinking?

Maybe not? Or you're not who I thought you were?

Or and yes, Michael, do you bring a boxing bell to bedums?

Get ready? Yeah? You do that whole thing round?

What was that a statement of kind of general principle or was that like a specific message to.

A lover of her past? I would have questions?

So, baby, I can't help, but notice you've I'm going out a whole set it to two.

That's my goal, regardless of your signage anyway, Right, you didn't I don't tell me to do that, right, right exactly. It's extraneous motivation.

This is reminding me that's my general practice. Right, This is reminding me of one of the funniest things. So my mother got a tattoo for her fiftieth birthday and it is a dolphin that is jumping over a shamrock.

And her big line was like.

Yeah, in fifteen years, it'll be an eel stuck in a pine tree.

Wow.

The comedy stylings of Katie's mom, she's fantastic.

So does this where were we? So does this made up doctor. Yes, find a way to. I just check my messages real quick, and then you kind of lean your phone this wing

Jack Armstrong and Joe Gatty The Armstrong and Gatty Joe