I Started My Day By Getting Dog Crap On My iPhone

Yeah, he's just don't need to feel down.

I said, you made get yourself off the round?

You said, Saturn the steps.

Does anybody know I can't hear you over the music? Did you see that?

The village people agreed to perform, So they're gonna perform at one of the balls, but I think they should actually perform in the Capital in the rotunda as he's got his hand on the Bible, a bunch of elderly men wearing Halloween costumes, and you're excited about this. It's the theme song, not the whole thang.

Right.

Did you see him at marlog over the weekend?

Trump is djight again? Everybody was doing the YMCA.

How well this became the theme of the forty seventh president. Who knows a silly veiled anthem to gay hook us?

But let's dance. It's hilarious anyway. Yeah, all doing.

But now it is what a historic day? Did we get to walk you through? Yes it is.

We are live from Studio C dimly let.

Deep with in the balls balls, Oh hell deep with the first gaff of the Trump administration years not officially, we got a couple hours deep within the bowels of the Armstrong you getting communications compound and today we're under the tutelage of our general manager.

Donald J.

Trump and the revolution of common sense. That had a great ring to it. That's a line he threw out at the rally yesterday. Has he been hammering that line lately and I just missed it or or no, I feel like an ad lib that is leaked out as part of his inaugural address today. Okay, that is going to be the theme of his inaugural address, the return to common sense, which is really what is the T shirt that you uh you you got us a couple of weeks ago, end of the year.

It's a crap. It's just a different version of cut the crab.

Yeah, I would agree. I absolutely love that theme. I hope we hang on to that, and I hope the people of America have developed the courage to insist on calling crap crap.

Yeah, I want to uh later.

Read from Peter Baker's New York Times piece today, which is the most favorable coverage of Trump.

I think maybe ever treating him for one thing, like a completely regular president, as they should. But two, there's a paragraph in there where Peter Baker writes it turns out that many of Trump's policies are very popular in America. He writes in a paragraph, Oh it's a surprise to his New York Times readers, but that is, you know, that's a return to common sense. Hey, it turns out, and we're gonna go through the.

Poll that the New York Times released is their big Sunday story yesterday on immigration. I mean, the numbers on the immigration stuff are astounding, just astounding. Of course, we all sensed that, we all knew that it's just it's only news if you're like an online progressive.

Indeed, and I think that the masses of Americans and more and more every day, are back to my previous point.

Realizing that, oh my gosh.

The people that I had deferred to because they have degrees, they have jobs at networks, they write for big papers whatever, they're college professors, I thought, well, who might argue with them or tell them they're wrong?

And people were cowed into submission.

I'm hoping they're much more bold about you know exactly what you're talking about, saying no, that's this.

Garbage, for instance, And I'll just hit one of these numbers now. We'll get into it later. This is from the New York Times article on Trump policies over the weekend. Do you support or oppose this deporting immigrants who are here illegally and have criminal records?

As we've been saying for a long time, how could.

You be against this?

We have cities, We have a governor in California. We have cities where it is their mission to.

Make sure they protect known criminals who are here illegally. They'll do anything to make sure the federal government does not find out that we're hiding an illegal here who's a criminal. E seven percent of Americans, Oh my lord, want to deport those people?

It's all over you. It's ninety percent.

Ninety percent of Americans think that's not sad. Well, in that remaining ten to thirteen percent, how many of them are demonstrably diagnosably mentally ill. Probably at least half or half of that's crazy?

Ass? Please the slightest idea what the question even means? Yeah?

So, I mean, you know, if you follow politics at all, there's nothing that's a ninety percent issue. Hardly kids being cute are not inn a ninety percent issue. But so Trump would stand up there at rallies or debates or whatever and say we're going to deport the legal criminals.

Ooh controversial, No, no, no, nothing could be less controversial. And what you have to keep in mind is there.

Are probably a few, is ishe of.

These politicians who actually believe that protecting criminal illegal aliens is the right thing to do. A few of them are at freaking nuts. The rest of them, remember this, Their advisors, of their posters have just told them, you know that if you espouse this policy, that will really

That's how morally bankrupt they are.

Eighty seven percent, That is fantastic. Come on, America, get offline, talk to your neighbors. Form your political opinions based on what people around you, think, not what some talking head demands that you think at NPR, which was insufferable this morning, by the way, or you know, eighty zero any of your big foot media screwm all.

Well, it's a revolution of common sense and it might actually can't wait to watch it. It's gonna be interesting to watch how it unfolds. A lot of executive orders and actions going on today. We can get into some of that later. Joe Biden walking out the door, pardoning more people than have ever been pardoned by any president. That's now officially true. He is the partner in chief as he heads out the door. Most of it performative around people who weren't going to be charged with anything anyway.

And what's truly reprehensible about what he did, including the Hunter Biden thing, And nobody's talking about this, which shocks me. It's preemptive pardons for whatever. It's like a super cloak of invisibility for any federal charge, no matter what it may be.

Or that's crazy.

If you want to pardon somebody for something specific for which they've been convicted or whatever, that's a pardon.

We can are you about it.

But this this superpower, this force field of their pardon for everything, whatever, whatever it happened, What the hell is that? That is utterly unprecedented. Yeah, so we got a lot of news today. It's Martin Luther King Junior's birthday. I don't even know if we'll be able to get around to that, but there is.

Some some things I'd like to say on that. They, as you know, moved the inauguration indoors, which sucks if you were planning to go there. Man, somebody is telling me yesterday they have friends, mom, dad, and three kids. A family of five was going airfare, hotels, whole thing.

And they ain't gonna see nothing.

So there's an arena they opened up for people to go watch on the big screen and Trump said it'll swing by later.

But what's an arena hold thirty thousand people? The basketball arena there's gonna be like four hundred thousand people there. So yeah, mostly ain't gonna get nothing out of it, which really sucks. But what are you gonna do? Weather's weather? How does mailbag looks?

It's fine? Oh, we didn't start the show officially. We no. I was so excited about WYAMCA. I'm Jack.

I'm excited about the Executive Order that's going to establish that there are men and there are women.

End of discussion. Halle freakin Louias.

Starting today, probably yeah, awesome. I'm Jack Armstrong, He's Joe Getty on this. It is Monday, January twentieth. It's a special date. It's in the Constitution, the year twenty twenty five. We are Armstrong in Getty, and we approve of this program.

Let's put our hand on the Bible and swear to and torm you precisely according to FCC rules and regulations at mark at.

Noon, the curtain closes are four long years of.

American decline and we begin a brand new day of.

American strength and prosperity, dignity, and pride, bringing it all back once and for all.

We're going to end the reign of a failed.

And corrupt political establishment in Washington, a failed administration.

We're not going to take it anymore.

There you go, in the words of Twisted Sister, We're not going to take it.

No, we ain't gonna take it.

The actual governing starts at noon Eastern today, and man, there's a lot on their plate. And we'll see how this turns out over the next four years. How does mailbag. Look, did you say pretty good?

Oscar? I said that here we go.

Text line is four one five two nine five KFTC. Shouldn't be a surprise anybody who's listened to us for years.

But I don't.

I don't have much truck for pageantry, and I particularly don't like it around our power because it's all monarchical. It's all you know, vestiges of kings, all this. And so Kamala Harris and her husband, the nanny Slapper just rolled up to the White House for the last time and got out of the limo and met Joe Biden and Jill standing there on the red carpet, and they come forward and they kiss, and they put you and everybody's around with cameras. I hate that sort of thing.

If the others, sure they're red hot hatred for each other, at least warmed the path yo briefly. Now the best part is they're going in the White House. Now, how are they even going to pretend to go through the motions of, you know, one last conversation when it's known that they hate each other. May I inscribe on your headstone? He didn't have much truck for pageantry. Would that be all right? It's a nice marble one. Oh, I know it, I know it. The peaceful transfer of power. He's absolutely

Yeah, a lot of it is.

It looks like Buckingham Palace, royal family stuff, which is all perform it if.

It has no power whatsoever.

Right, Yeah, well, uh, you want to talk about not pageantry. I started my day by getting dog crap on my iPhone, so yeah, yeah, kind of.

A poor start to the train. And I have a cold.

When are we gonna make you America healthy again? It hasn't started yet.

Huh.

Why was your dog suitcasing your iPhone so.

The evildoers couldn't find it?

No, I was walking him in the pre dawn cold and listening to NPR because I was kind of curious to see how they were handling inauguration day. And I think in fifteen minutes I heard January sixth referenced four times. I mean, that is obviously their obsession, but it was like tucked in my jacket pocket and when he unleashed. I leaned over to clean it up, and it slid out of my jacket pocket and took an unfortunate carem and then right into the pile.

What did you say and.

Or think when they're in the early morning walking your dog, you bent over and your phone fell into a pile of dog poop?

I believe I said out loud, are you e fing kidding? But obviously I.

Spa eight moments like that. Well, and I thought that, well, there it is. It's cold, and usually he will go at least twice, and so I think I can't get the It was the logistical and microbial nightmare. And then in taking the case off my phone so I can get the dog poo off of it, I cried off the lens protector that you know, the screensavers, whatever you call us. So I got to do that. Later as a poor start to the day, I blamed Trump. Anyway,

You kidding me?

Come on, it's time to wipe our eyePhone owns clean and us are in a revolution of common sense. This is from Ronald Reagan's inaugural address in nineteen eighty one, sent along by Roy the Marine.

Quote.

Above all, we must realize that no arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable is the will and courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today's world do not have. It is a weapon that we as Americans do have. Let that be understood by those who practice terrorism and prey upon their neighbors.

Rah.

So the I wouldn't call it pageantry. So the stuff that is delineated as this is how we do it. That is all about the transfer of power. I get that's perfectly appropriate that we do that. Aside from that one day that we won't mention, it's always gone very, very swimmingly, the transfer of power, and that is cool

Yeah yeah, here's your mail bag. Drop us a note mail bag at Armstrong and Giddy dot com. Not quite as inspiring as Reagan's quote. This is from online thinker, Oh show is sent along by dean government of the people, by the people, for the people, but the people are retarded. See I don't use the R word.

It's very cynical.

Dean send better quotes Chens, writes Nick I and many other citizens are sickened every few years by presidential pardons in the eleventh out.

Oh my god.

Maybe an international criminal court could put the screws to fauci sensus crimes or against the entire planet.

Also for reforms, I.

Think no exiting president should be allowed to issue pardons between election day and inauguration day. Pardons before election day would be valuable vol information. That's a way to tweak the law. Yeah sure, you know, I'm thinking over how constitutional it is, because it's a constitutional power, so it'd have to be an amendment.

The founders might say, well, that.

Ignores the whole point is that they're supposed to be able to do some things they need to do there at the end, outside of politics, and this would put it back in the arena of politics.

Right.

Alternately, we should adopt a system like Texas uses, where a board recommends pardons and the governor approves them or not.

Something different than what we're doing.

I'd say, yeah, I would agree, as an expression of dissatisfaction with the current system.

Amen to that.

Uh, Paolo writes nothing earth shaking here, I'm just stating obvious in reference to Trump's plan to make men men and women women. I think we even boil down every complain of the trans right to one thing. They want to be treated in every way as if their sex were opposite or what it is. If we don't oblige, we're the bad guys for not indulging their fantasy. Thinks they might be the bad guys for insisting that we indulge their fantasy and vilifying us if we don't.

Yeah, I would.

We didn't even mention Friday or today yet Joe Biden declared a constitutional amendment through Twitter on Friday, like a crazy person a thing. Armstrong and Geeddy and.

His farewell speech to the nation, President Biden defended his administration's accomplishments by ending every sentence with you ungrateful bastards.

Man.

How about that opening on Saturday Night Live where they mocked MSNBC and other cable news channels for jumping at every Trump troll quite amusing.

Yeah, that was good. I thought so so Joe Biden.

This is inauguration Day, I assume everybody knows that, and Trump becomes president at noon. It's the end of last hours of the Biden administration, with the dispatch saying some very harsh things about Joe Biden as he heads out the door. We'll get to that in just a minute.

But Joe Biden did a yet another farewell address yesterday and said this, for some reason, we.

Must hold on a hope, we must stay engaged. There's always keep to faith in a better day to come. I'm not going anywhere. What I'm not kidding?

Okay, what does that mean, dude?

I think Actuary Tables and your doctor might have something to say about that, and got and the Grim Reaper, and the Constitution and your political party which has no interest in you whatsoever, and the country who can't wait to see you go as you leave with the lowest approval ratings of anybody but Nixon. So you're not going anywhere. What does that even freaking mean? That was just the last spasms of defiance from a defeated man.

Charles C. W.

Cook tweeted out just five hours until the twenty eighth Amendment is repealed, it had a good run. That's responding to Joe Biden's weird out of nowhere.

Nobody has the slightest idea what he's talking about. Joe Biden just tweets out on Friday that the twenty eighth, the twenty eighth Amendment has been ratified, the Equal Rights Amendment has been ratified. It is the twenty eighth Amendment and is the law of the land. And nobody has any idea what he's talking about. It's not true in any way whatsoever.

The archivist who keeps track of what's an amendment or not had to weigh in immediately say no, it's not.

It's just it's so crazy. It's so been crazy. Part of what's so crazy.

About it it was it didn't get hardly any mainstream coverage because I think everybody felt like, I don't know what he's doing. Let's just wait till Monday and we'll move on with the next guy.

Well, yeah, because it would take some serious investigation to figure out who the hell did.

This and why and how did it get through what?

And everybody's thinking, what's the point. He's senile, he's obviously not the president, somebody in his staff.

Let's just move on.

Yeah, it seriously to declare unilaterally that an amendment has passed, that's bizarre behavior, very very crazy. Yeah, as Charlie Cook at The National Review said, I'm trying to get inside the head of anyone Biden included, if he's aware of it, who thought it would be a good idea for the President of the United States to tweet out that he was unilaterally declaring that the Constitution had been been amended.

It's so deliciously humiliating.

Yeah, So nobody's really sure what that whole thing is. And I assume that will be in a book someday explaining that. Sarah Isger writes for The Dispatch. She is a Harvard lawyer type and she was in the Trump Justice Department first time around.

He's got a peace out today.

I'm not going to read the whole thing, but it's really good the quiet lawlessness of Joe Biden, in which she writes, he was elected to restore norms, but he has done more damage to the rule of law than any president in our nation's history. And in case you don't know, Sarah I Isgiger's act. She is not a bombchucker. She is a thoughtful, reasonable person. And she goes through president by president things. Lincoln did things, Andrew Jackson did things,

It's really quite amazing. Includes to hear more of that, it's absolutely worth it.

Maybe we'll read that later, but yeah, she says he is done more norm wrecking than any president in our nation's history. Jonah Goldberg, responding to that piece because he worked for the Dispatch too, said Biden's leaving office dropping one lawless norm, defying justly impeachable undemocratic transgression after another.

That would be bad enough, but these are all.

Presidents for the successor he thinks is a threat to democracy. It's reckless, spiteful and incandescently stupid.

Wow.

Jodah Goldberg came out on Friday after Biden tweeted out, Hey.

This is another amendment. We had another amendment to the constitution, Equal Rights Amendment. Remember when we argued about that in the seventies.

It's part of the constitution now, everybody, I just passd it. What Jonah Goldberg said he should be impeached over this. Before Monday, I realized we only got three days left. But he should be impeached over this. They should run it through and they should boot it from office because you can't do that. I mean, that is outside your

Play that again.

We must hold on a hope, we must stay engaged, just always keep to faith in a better day to come. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not kidding.

Why who are those dead ender last gaspers? Who are there to even witness that speech? And then cheered that who the hell are you?

Wow?

Democrats and progressives are, if nothing else, obedient, and they were given their marching orders by Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi back in June July that we are going to get the senile old guy out at the price of pretending he's a great man and we love him. At every moment we will pretend he's a great man and we love him. And so when the Walking Mummy made that vow wherever he was yesterday, the obedient Democrats are like, oh, that's right.

We got to do this for a couple more days. You're a great man and we love you.

No, don't go away, because we need you so much. Oh my god, when will he leave? They said to themselves.

He said he wasn't going anywhere. That means he's going to chain himself to the Oval Office desk. They're gonna have to get cutters and get him out of there.

Who knows what he actually meant, but the incoming president, this has been announced already. Trump, we'll suspend the security clearances of all fifty one of those intelligence officials who signed onto that letter saying that the Hunter Biden laptop story was classic Russian disinformation, which includes quite a few people that well, a bunch of people that I hate, James Clapper, Michael Hayden. I don't care if those people lose.

But he didn't sign onto that letter, Yes he did that.

That was horrible, so especially because the FBI was fully convinced of its authenticity when that letter was written.

They're liars and cheaters.

You're gonna condemn Trump for playing fast and loose or January sixth or whatever else.

You know what? All right, fine, let's start calling fouls. That was a foul. Foul.

Trump is gonna that's gonna be one of the executive words to David Asia also going to jump on a whole bunch of stuff around immigration, and that is going to get started right away.

And we got more on that a little bit later.

The first of all rounding up of illegals with criminal records, which according to even the Biden White House is about six hundred thousand people. Wow, known criminals that are here that if you live in you know, California or various cities in California, you're protected from the The will hide you. We'll help hide you because we think it would be awful to kick you out, even though ninety percent of Americans think they ought to go according to.

The New York Times. Just incredible, it is in criminal well jack.

Throughout the day today, we'll be sprinkling in inauguration trivia, including this. William Henry Harrison recited the longest inauguration speech in history on a bitterly cold day. Didn't wear a coat, blah blah blah, came down with a cold, turned into aumonia. Then he died because he spoke so long in the cold. Except he didn't. He probably died from typhoid from drinking Washington's tainted water supply, which ultimately led to his death

It is something that he was only president a month though before he died. That is something after you go through a whole president's election. Of course, they weren't quite the same back then as they are now. But did you I didn't see any of the Trump rally yesterday, but he had a big rally and it was like, you know, his election rallies and everything like that.

And Elon was on the stage with his son X. His son's name is X.

And I don't know how he chose this of his twelve kids to be on stage with him, but some cute little boy that I don't know how if he'd ever met his.

Dad before, I have no idea. Oh wow.

I don't think much of Elon as a parent. Big fan of him is a car and rocket designer, and not so much as a parent. But musical acts Kid Rock, Billy Ray, Size, Cyrus, Lee Greenwood and the Village People all performed yesterday at the Trump rally. The Village People got a whole bunch of pushback. The lead guy for the village of people. I think he's the cop. He's in law enforcement. Come a break, huh, how about his public service.

He's been retired from law enforcement for like thirty years.

He got a bunch of pushback from people because they had sued Trump for using their music, and Trump just kept using it anyway and paying the fines. But now I think because he wants the exposure, is on board and actually showed up and they played live yesterday and they're going to again at a bunch of the balls tonight inaugural balls tonight.

Wow.

I wonder how much they got paid or they thought they were going to make out a dude.

This is the best thing this has happened to us in forty years.

I'm just pleased to see that the Indian is on board as well, representing America's native peoples in this inauguration.

Right.

I want to fake dress up gay pop group that looks like America, Right, And that's what ruction worker an Indian a cop missing.

One singing oh uh.

Cowboy cowboy exactly, yes, but the cowboy cowboy yes.

Yeah.

So we'll bring you some stuff that happens throughout the day today. I do feel bad for anybody who traveled there, because I know some people who traveled all the way to DC and ain't cheap the book flights and hotel rooms and ain't gonna happen.

It's gonna be indoors.

Oh for inauguration weekend. Please, it's like the super Bowl weekend.

Yeah, I understand. I mean you were talking last week. You can't have people out there in the cold. I watched a couple of football games over the weekend where people were out in the cold. Every bit is cold or colder for five hours willingly and that if you're in the midst of an enormous, massive humanity, it warms you. All those people in Buffalo last night, they didn't they weren't dying.

Uh, or in Kansas City. So not sure why you have to move it indoors. But what if we've gone soft as a country. That's why Jack soft, soft America. We've got Katie's headlines on the way.

Stay here, this is too good.

We're grabbing the audio.

Back in twenty twenty, as Trump was leaving office and Biden was about to take over. Biden was interviewed by Jake Tapper and they were worried about all the pardons that Trump was going to issue. On his way out the door, Biden said, it concerns me in terms of what kind of precedents it sets. He said, You're not going to see in our administration that kind of approach to pardons. These people are all completely freaking phony liars. You cannot hold politicians and enough side eyed contempt.

Amen. God, just look at the policies. God, there's such liars they really are.

Let's figure out who's reporting what on this inauguration, Babe, it's the lead story with Katie Greeny.

Katie, thank you, guys.

Speaking of pardons, ABC Biden preemptively pardons Anthony Fauci, Mark Milly and January sixth Committee members.

There you go, the old preemptive pardon, okay, Nick, inappropriate end or utterly unnecessary in all cases.

Also ABC News, among first executive orders to be signed by Trump will be in order to rename.

Gulf of Mexico to Gulf of America. Yes, starting today, it's a Gulf of America.

Take it.

Anybody calls it the Gulf of Mexico, Tom physically because they don't love this country like you do.

It's a joke. Please don't attack me all for that.

I can't believe we went this long calling it the Gulf of Mexico.

Why would we do that?

This one threw me through a little bit of a loop. This is from Brett Barton. It's only because you guys mentioned this Trump to swear in with personal Bible and Lincoln Bible during inauguration, and I thought, he's not He's not signing.

He's not going to swear in with his Trump Bible. No, it's a bible, it's from his mom.

Yeah, Trump's he going to be wearing the Trump snakers, the solid gold high tops.

I hope.

So Trump just showed up to the White House, stood there with Joe Biden, shook hands side by side. I believe the first time they've locked eyes since that infamous debate from Fox News.

Colleges and educational groups are offering advice to students for inauguration day anxiety.

Well, please, people are so soft they should be mocked. Mockery teaches morals. That's a Latin phrase that I can never remember. Just do if you run into people like that, because I was just ran into a similar article about the counseling and forest crying sessions that were being recommended, and all sorts of Forest craub and parties with your spirit guide and please mock people like that.

From the La Times.

LA fires destroyed at least eleven schools and thirty child care facilities. Project Camp working to bring normalcy to kids living in pop up tents.

Eleven schoolship burned down. That's something from the New.

York Post Special place in Hell for these guys. By the way, two people busted for using a fire truck they bought at auction to impersonate firefighters in the Palisades fire so they could do what they were Two people, one of which was convicted of arson that came down from Oregon.

And Wow.

Yeah, so this is not a meme, but I want to let you guys know that we've started a butter movement. I got several emails over the weekend from listeners sending me pictures of their homemade butter that they made good for you after our One More Thing podcast.

Wow, maybe you can start a butter seemed TikTok page. Oh never mind, sorry.

And speaking of TikTok from the Babylon b gen Z upset about TikTok band for four point three seconds, which is the maximum amount of time they can focus thanks to TikTok.

Yeah, that dude they had on Saturday and Alive on the news segment talking about that. That was fantastic. That was really good. I'm sorry, what were you saying against? I can't pay attention. The whole TikTok thing is where both presidents are wrong. They're ignoring the law.

Both of them are Yeah, I want to talk about what Trump has said recently and trying to figure out what the heck's going through his head at this point. The Supreme Court ruled nine, Oh, you have to follow the law, and neither one of them want to follow the law.

It's interesting.

Armstrong and Getty